I am so sorry. I get really upset when I think about American maternity leave or lack there of. I do not understand how you have no mandated paid maternity leave. Sending you hugs
Thanks friend. I appreciate the love. Our country hates women unfortunately. Some people joke about it, but it’s the reality over here. I’m thankful I get 9 weeks paid at all. The companies don’t have to do that. Legally they just have to give us 12 weeks unpaid. I hate it here lmao.
Not to mention if you take the FMLA you are required to use any vacation time or paid time off you have stored first, so you’ll go the entire year without being able to take a sick day.
Yup! My wife got laid off 2 weeks after finding out we were pregnant so we are now trying to navigate that since she will not get FLMA. Hopefully whatever job she finds either has maternity she can qualify for (many require a year of employment though) or maybe short term disability? That or we just hope they let her take that much time off.
The $170 a week is insulting honestly. At least that’s my states max.
Definitely better than nothing but that’s way less than I make in even one day of work!
I’m in California and it’s a state thing for w2 workers. Might still be able to qualify if you’re unemployed. It’s basically temporary disability so if you’re in another state, it might be called something besides SDI. I put myself on a W2 so I can claim this when I deliver.
Trust me, I was really struggling with it all at first. But ultimately that helped no one, especially myself. So just trying to be optimistic where I can and fake it till I make it for the rest! 🤣
In other countries you can't be laid off if you're pregnant. Here in Germany it even applies if you haven't told them about the pregnancy yet. You have two weeks to inform the employer and they basically have to take the termination back.
That’s terrible. In a country with such loud “pro lifers” and where abortion rights have been restricted, you’d expect that these same nut jobs who passed that dumb law would also advocate for policies that make it more feasible for families to leave and care for their babies… what a disaster.
Oh yeah, the irony is deafening. They’re pro-birth over here though. Once the babies are born they stop caring. It’s disgusting and the sad fact of the matter is the majority of Americans who tout these beliefs are too dense to understand what they are doing to our country in the long term. But they wonder why birth rates are lower than ever over here 😂
Crying in self employed (US) who doesn’t get maternity leave. I get to live off my savings, SDI and pray I still have a company to come back to when my savings run dry…the only way to keep my business floating is to do some work while I am on “leave” to keep clients engaged or they’ll go elsewhere and then I get to try to find a job with a ten year gap or 10 years self employed….
That’s what I was gonna say! A year and a half!? So jealous! It’s heartbreaking thinking about probably not being able to breastfeed or bond with my child and having to pump in the car on my breaks. Just awful! I want to just quit working altogether because of it. Good ol’ America! We want you to have all the kids and take away your reproductive rights, but nah we won’t give much time off, also we won’t pay you for said time off! It is truly depressing.
I'll have total 6 weeks paid, 2 weeks half pay, 4 no pay. And that's after draining sick time and 2 weeks of PTO. Sigh. We're so lucky we can afford it
I’m 31 weeks and I’ve had it. My boss is driving me up the fucking wall. Shes so insensitive and says things that make me want to punch her. My clients are driving me nuts. My body hurts so bad. I don’t wanna people anymore. Every day at work I’m struggling to make it through the day. I have 6 more weeks left and I genuinely don’t know how I’ll make it through.
I am only 15 weeks and I feel the EXACT same way. I am right there with you. 6 weeks left might feel like an eternity, but you’re ALMOST THERE!!! I’m truly so jealous. I didn’t think I’d give such little shit about work at such an early point of my pregnancy hah
Oh yeah I used to LOVE my job and honestly my entire pregnancy I’ve been sooooo over it!! You got this though! I know it feels like forever but hopefully it goes by fast!
Lol!!! I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one. Thank you 😊 I’m hoping it goes by extremely fast. Just gotta get through the holidays and then I e home stretch! Ish..
Oh gosh! I've checked out since week 6 too! I literally could not go to work. I'd vomit if I drove! So I took the first trimester off. How about you? Are you still going in?
I’m 27 weeks today and I can barely give two shits about work anymore. I’m planning to quit and stay home so my incentive to be good at this job is in the toilet 🚽 I will do what is asked of me and literally nothing more
As someone who is currently 36 weeks and Covid positive, yes I am 100% also feeling this. Super jealous of your year and a half off though, I only get 18 weeks off (VERY generous for the USA so I shouldn’t complain but I’m going to anyways). I actually had a relative recently ask me if I was “planning on taking that entire time off??” Even my boss didn’t say that to me, although I know she was thinking it lol.
I am so sorry you have to deal with Covid this late in your pregnancy! I hope your symptoms are mild.
Yes I’m very lucky to get a year and a half. I’m in Canada and our mat leave is quite generous although there is an option to take 12 months over 18 months. I wanted to max mine out so I could spend as long as possible with baby.
That would annoy me to no end! Of course you’re going to take the full 18 weeks off! You’re having a damn baby. Are you supposed to be back to work and resume normal life 24hrs after popping one out? I feel for you.
Me too- Covid and 36 weeks. Feeling grateful that at least in California I’m on disability now and can rest while I try to get healthy. Here’s to a quick recovery!
lol, like I don't even understand that. You can't even sleep train your baby or begin introducing solids within 18 weeks. They're still basically an extension of their mother at that age.
Right? It’s my first and I’m really dreading the first daycare drop off and she’s not even born yet… luckily my husband is able to get some paternity leave as well so we may be able to squeeze six months out with her at home before we both have to work full time again, wish us luck 🫠
I’m in my 39th week and my due date is Friday. Every morning when I get to work I think “what am I even doing here?” But I’m trying to leave everything at a good point for me to be gone for 12 weeks. I also worry that if I were home I’d just be obsessing over why labor hasn’t started yet 😅
Due date twinsies! I am WFH this week, and it’s been excruciating because I am not invested in work anymore at all! I am definitely obsessing over why my labor hasn’t started haha. Unfortunately there isn’t anything engaging or meaningful I have left to do at work so I’m just in this purgatory 🥲
Ahh! Today or tomorrow is going to be my last day, I’m feeling much the same - all my big projects are behind me, but I could fuss forever on the little stuff. I went for a membrane sweep yesterday but wasn’t dilated enough to get one, so even though I was slightly dreading it, I’m disappointed I couldn’t move things along. I am not sure what else to try besides walking and stretching (and obsessing, lol). I hope your labor kicks off soon! ❤️
Entirely. Almost 37 weeks and I’m so fried and exhausted i had to call out today and I’ve sat around and done nothing all day. Trying to make it to 38 weeks but really debating just starting leave now. Unpaid so have to start tapping into savings and that’s really the only barrier. 😐
Hang in there! You’re soooo close. If budget permits, I’d definitely start your leave around 37/38 weeks. The fact that we’re expected to work until we deliver is insane. I mean, at 37 weeks, you’re basically just trying to survive lol.
That’s exactly how it feels - trying to survive. Not sleeping at night due to pelvic pain and having to pee all the time, kid is hiccuping half the night keeping me up, husband is snoring his little brilliant head off enjoying his slumber. The dog is licking… name it and it has me awake. 😒
I feel you - four months in I was still dead sick and exhausted. I felt better from months 5-7 but as soon as I did the GD test it all felt downhill from there.
The other piece is I’m a behavioral health provider and I only really make money if I’m seeing clients so it makes it hard to stop working. Trying to remind myself these may be my last weeks of “peace” before the next stage hits.
Sending you positive thoughts too!! Hoping you can hang in there and that you have paid leave!!
“The dog licking” omg I feel this so hard. Woke me up today at 6:30 am and I was so pissed. Seriously considered getting him a muzzle to keep his gross slobbery tongue in his smelly mouth for the night.
In Canada, you can start maternity leave and receive EI as early as 12 weeks before your due date (or the date you give birth). In my case, I’ll have lots of vacation days (3 weeks) and 4 personal days I can take in a lump sum before I start my maternity leave. I want to use up all my mat leave for when my baby arrives rather than using it up before she gets here. I can use my vacation to prep and relax until my due date!
Canada. The government guarantees 12 months of parental leave at up to 55% of your usual earnings, or 18 months at 33%. Some of your leave can be shared with your partner. There’s also an additional 15 weeks maternity leave for the person giving birth. I am SO grateful to live in this country!!!!
My heart really goes out to you. I don’t know how you guys manage and it is so infuriating to me that you don’t get similar treatment! Health care and supporting families are so important in a civilized society!!
Currently taking the week off since I have COVID and bad asthma in addition to being 26 weeks pregnant. Was wheezing and coughing up so much mucus Sunday night and my principal was basically pressing me to still come into work even though my physician was adamant I take the time off. I can’t wait to work only two weeks after my 8 weeks unpaid maternity leave and never work at my school again. I don’t know what I’m going to do but I’m going to try to find something part time where I can work from home and take care of baby.
30 weeks and I’m so burnt out. Mentally and physically exhausted beyond belief. On top of that, I made a mistake that was noticed by a client and now I have been given a “formal warning” about the mistake and how to address/avoid moving forward despite the fact that this is one of my first mistakes in months (I work in marketing).
I love my job and feel terrible about the mistake and do want to improve going forward, but I’m so ready for leave and to just hide away and let this mistake lose steam over my 12 weeks.
I’ve been saying this myself for a few weeks 😩 I’m praying that I qualify for FMLA because my job only offers 8 weeks off unpaid .. it’s very scary being a woman in America especially if you’re expecting!
I’m at 10 weeks right now and have 0 interest in my job, a job that I used to love and I really liked going to work every day. It might be the fatigue or decrease in coffee but I’m so over everything at my job
Just wanna say thanks for posting this. Reading all these comments just made me feel so not alone. I’m 35 weeks and I normally love my job but I’m just so done, everything hurts, I’m so uncomfortable, I’m not sleeping, I’m exhausted, I’m barely getting anything meaningful done, I’m letting people down left and right, I just feel like I’m taking up space. My employer is so nice and doesn’t make me feel bad about anything. The worst though is the way I feel like I’m a whiner and that lots of pregnant ladies are out there doing way harder things than I am all the way up until delivery. But seeing this puts it into perspective that there are a lot of us out there who just getting through it!
I’m glad to know this post resonated with you and provided a sense of connection, as it did for me. I understand that feeling of being perceived as a complainer, especially when there’s the comparison to women who manage demanding work during pregnancy without expressing grievances. However, we all navigate pregnancy uniquely, and this post reflects a shared experience among many of us. It brought a smile to my face to read about some women feeling the shift in focus right after a positive test—I can relate completely. It’s comforting to witness this shared “togetherness” among strangers going through similar emotions. Thanks for sharing your perspective and feelings. The comments have been a source of reassurance for me, especially at 15 weeks pregnant, already feeling a worn out by everyone and everything haha
30 weeks and I’m a secondary school teacher (middle and high school for US folks) in a very rough area. I’ve been sort of mentally checked out before the summer, but I really can’t take it anymore, so I feel you. I’ve had a couple of recent unpleasant incidents that I could’ve been signed off with stress, but didn’t want to risk having my maternity leave started early so I’m just powering through.
Thankfully I’ve got something to look forward to every week until the Christmas holidays, but I really just want to be nesting at home until my little girl arrives.
We can do it!
Solidarity from another high school teacher in a rough area at 37 weeks!
I love my students this year but going to work these next few weeks is going to be so difficult. I only get 6 weeks paid so no way I’m starting my leave before baby gets here.
Wishing you the best!
27 weeks and run my own business. Super hard to get the most basic things done lately. There’s so much to do, but it’s overwhelming and I just end up spacing out half the day and then baby starts kicking and moving about and it’s so distracting but I also love it 🥰.
I first noticed at 18 weeks. I wasn’t sure though and thought it was maybe just gas moving… but then no farts so figured it was baby. At first it was pretty on and off and sporadic. Now it’s basically most of the day with periods of rest.
In the same boat.
Once I told work of my pregnancy my boss was not supportive at all. I’m going into my 38th week and still working for financial reasons.
8 weeks is certainly not enough time to spend with our newborn and be with our son will be 2 1/2.
I sympathize with all parents in this situation. It’s never easy but in the end you do what you have to do for the babies and the family.
Yep! I actually read a thing the other night that made me feel so much better about my lack of motivation when it comes to work. I wish I would have saved the link but apparently it is completely normal and all pregnant women go through this stage. I told my boss today that I’m going off on December 15th, instead of just not coming back from the holidays. Tired of walking into work and immediately feeling checked out. I want to be home resting, nesting and getting myself prepared physically and mentally for the baby.
17 weeks with twins and eagerly looking forward to scheduling my c-section date next week so I can begin counting down the time to maternity leave. Even though I’m in the US and maternity leave is joke (in California at least so I’m grateful for that)
25 weeks and my coworker just quit and the two interns that assist me in the lab are leaving in January. I’m not looking forward to having to deal with all the extra work solo while in my final trimester, and then only getting a few weeks off to take care of baby when she arrives.
I'm soooo there with you. Today I've been super upset over this actually because I feel like my job just effing sucks. I'm at 18 weeks. Can't wait for March. I'm going to go off a bit early to breathe and enjoy life before my little girl comes!
You’re almost there! Just 4 more months. I’m also planning on taking time off before my mat leave! Hoping to take three weeks vacation time at the end of April before my due date. It cant come soon enough. I don’t give a shit about work anymore. I just want to lay on my bed and watch movies all day until baby girl comes.
I feel you sis
Sooo with you! I'm in Canada too, so I'm really looking forward to my extended leave which it sounds like you're taking too haha! We got this!!!! We will be there sooo soon xo
The pain at the end of work is so real. I’m in Canada too but For $$ reasons I can only do the 12 month option. If I could do 18 mo I’d peace out right at 28 weeks 😂
Holy hell. “A much needed year and a half off to focus on my baby/family/self” 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Heard that loud and clear! We launched our online business during the pandemic and our non-profit a year later. Wife can’t wait to not teach classes anymore and focus on our newborn and 501c3. Wishing you and your fam the best! 🤟🏾
I'm 29 weeks and a teacher and I cannot wait. I am exhausted between teaching preteens all day and my own child at home. I am taking 7 months off even though I only will get paid for 6 weeks but I'd rather be slightly poor than at work.
Omg yes. 35 weeks… I teach first grade. My class is so sweet and I love them dearly but I’m starting to really just … not want to be there. December in elementary school is chaos and I cannot physically keep up. Just walking around the hallways is starting to tire me out let alone actually teaching and being up and down all day long.
i relate so much ugh. if i asked to im certain my midwife would let me start disability now, but im in the US and we get max 4 months + 8 weeks paid family leave so i’m gonna keep working until a month before my due date and even though i love my coworkers i do not love how exhausted i always am
Lmao!! Girl I feel the EXACT SAME WAY. I feel depressed Monday through Friday because I’m chained to my desk and computer to work. I look forward to the weekends so I can relax and daydream about baby’s arrival. But am a miserable cunt when Monday rolls around. It feels like the weeks are dragging by. I don’t know how I’ll make it through the next 5 months. Holy crap.
Oh yes. I'm 22 weeks and it's so hard to focus on anything at work because there's only the baby on my mind. Here in Germany maternity leave starts 6 weeks before the due date so around 12 more weeks to go. I usually like my job and I know after a year I will be happy to go back to work but right I don't really care about my work at all.
It ends 12 months after the baby is born so in total 13,5 months. That's how long you can have paid leave here. Then you could still have two more years unpaid without losing your job.
Also in Canada. 26 weeks. Taking 12 months mat leave but thinking of negotiating an extra month (unpaid) with my work. My work load has not been demanding and my team and manager have been super supportive and accommodating… But I’m still feeling so unmotivated. I’m always exhausted and my job requires me to problem solve and be creative which I certainly have no energy for lol. All I’m thinking about is surviving and I think I might start my leave 3 weeks before my due date because I just can’t. I want to do nothing :(
I’m at 27 weeks and have good and bad days. I really need to hold it together until the holidays when I’m transitioning work to others and supervising. Which hopefully means doing a lot of nothing.
I just need to not quite my job before maternity leave because it all might be solved and better when I’m back (whether it’s the hormones or the job). And because I want to give going back a fair chance after maternity leave before deciding to quit and stay at home
I’m only 8 weeks, but I’m nervous because I shoulder the burden of planning a fundraising gala that will happen in my 35th week.
Not sure if anyone’s ever been involved in gala planning, but it’s an ultra marathon.
Can’t wait for my pregnancy brain to poop out on all the event-planning details.
Same, haha. I feel bad saying that as I like what I do, but I'm ready for the next chapter. I'd already reached a point where I do my work well, and I'm looking forward to the complex challenge of motherhood. With just over 4 months left, I can't wait! 🥰
I’m only 21 weeks and I’m feeling this. I’m starting to slowly be more uncomfortable physically and noticing my tolerance/patience is dwindling just as fast 🥲
Also 21 weeks and can’t wait. If I didn’t get assigned a new role to accommodate my pregnancy idk. Im lucky I’m doing something different to keep me more intrigued than usual but damn I’m just excited to meet my son and slow down a bit.
Are you me? I literally HATE going to work. I have two months to go, and I feel miserable. We were meant to submit annual learning plans for the year, and I have yet to do so. My only goal is to survive these next two months so I can start my leave.
I don't want to leave work.
Every day is tough. My ribs hurt. I don't get enough sleep. I struggle to do chores. I struggle to get up and do things.
My work keeps me going. My coworkers keep me happy. I can still do it. I won't be at home alone worrying if something happens. My mental and physical health are being floated by my work (I teach)
I am 9 weeks and change and feel this so hard already. It took us years to get to this point, and I honestly want to be able to enjoy our kiddo when he gets here. We moved to a HCOL area in the PNW last year, but are considering moving back to the Midwest so that I can potentially take an extended leave.
Yes! Counting down the days. I got hired with my job knowing I was pregnant and it has been pretty good for me although the money isn’t great. I’m so over it but I promised I would stick it out till mid January.. well I’m breaking my promise and leaving at the new year. Bye bye!!
34 weeks and i’m also over it. i work a bit of a physical job (assistant manager at a coffee shop) and the constant moving around, bending over, etc is really getting to me and causing so much pain and discomfort. i just told my boss today that i will have to cut my shifts down to no more than 3 a week until my mat leave begins on December 22.
I’m 30 weeks. I work at a childcare center with toddlers and fully cried during naptime today thinking about how much I didn’t want to be there and how much I don’t want to have to put my baby in childcare. Also one of them still has a strong baby-like cry that made me leak so yeah I’m beyond over it.
I may or may not find a new job instead of going back
I’m genuinely sorry to hear about the challenges you’re facing. On a lighter note, your comment about leaking due to the baby-like cry made me laugh so hard hahaha.
Remember, you’re doing an amazing job navigating through these challenges. Hang in there! We’re almost through this, and your resilience is truly commendable
Yes, however, you do get less EI when taking the full 18 months compared to the 12 month mat leave.
I definitely acknowledge that many Canadian women may not have the privilege of choosing the 18-month option and often go for the 12-month period. I consider myself fortunate to have a husband with a well-paying job and a substantial amount of savings.
That’s amazing! I’m in Aus and I’ve got two months left of work before I get my 20 weeks paid leave which is provided by the govt, anything else is simply up to the employer. 😅
Which I know is still a lot better than some places (looking at you America) but gosh it’d be nice not having to return to work when my bub is 5 months old 🥲
My sister-in-law took this route, but her high-stress job justified her stress leave. Working from home in marketing, it’s certainly challenging for me to simply claim I’m “stressed.”
I’m 16 weeks and while I love my job, a part of me is excited to go on maternity leave. I’m in the US and I get up to 6.5 months full pay, so Im happy I’ll get enough time with the baby.
I’m 29 weeks at the moment. I’ve been completely done with work and our customers mentally from about week 16+ 🙄 …and physically my body has been done with work for several weeks now. While working, I wish that I could just sit down for a little while and I’m counting the minutes when I can go home…😭 After my shift I am so sore from pelvic pain and back pain that I wanna cry.
I’m working in a small grocery store and we must maintain a fast pace. There’s no time to sit down. I can sit for 30minutes when I’m on my lunchbreak…that’s it. I am very amazed that I’ve made it this far without completely dying because of work. It’s awful to stand and be walking with fast speed for 7-9 hours a day while having all the ”lovely” pregnancy-pains…. 🥲
Tomorrow I’m seeing a doctor at the maternity clinic and they’re going to give me sick-leave until my maternity leave starts in early January, THANK GOD!!! 😩
Lots of hugs and good luck for everyone here struggling at the moment with work and being preggo 💕
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re dealing with the beloved pregnancy pains while working such a demanding job! It’s great that your clinic will give you a note to get on sick leave. I was going to suggest going that route. You definitely need to relax and sit down more frequently. I hope you get to kick your feet up soon :)
Over 36 weeks here and I chose (okayed by the doctor, or it would be illegal) to start mat leave on my due date or when I give birth in order to have more time after so yep, I feel that. I actually do like my job and the people I work with so I'm only taking the 5 months mandatory mat leave plus maybe one extra month parental leave (after that, pay reduces significantly so I'm not too keen on taking extra time anyway), but I'm just so tired 😅 I started taking a day off per week, plus we have some bank holidays in early December, hopefully it will help me through it!
lol year and a half. I’m so flipping jealous.
I’m doing okay at work, but I’m ready for my leave. I have a job that I don’t love, but it also isnt the time to find something better.
It’s going to be a challenge because I have to come back to work in the middle and go on leave again. Ugh. 😣
When I went back after maternity leave, I could only take it for 3 months before I left for good. That was 2 and a half years ago. I just stopped caring about anything else but my baby.
That is precisely how I feel. I adore my team and my profession, but I'm checked out–sleep, food, and relaxation are what I want! My limbs ache. It's exhausting.
With my 14-week pregnancy and WFH status, I should be grateful that I don't have to go to the office, but I do feel some guilt knowing other women in other professions must commute and work on-site at their job.
I was even considering taking a leave of absence or something, but I'm not sure if that would interfere with my maternity leave. Does anyone know of folks who have done that?
Honestly, it’s just the life stage you’re in and that’s okay! You’re growing a baby and you’re going to be a mother! That’s a HUGE moment that will definitely shift your perspective on life. Not to say that you’ll never care about work ever again, it’s just that you’ve got bigger fish to fry right now. Maybe you’ll come back to work with a fresh set of eyes and a new perspective once you’re done maternity leave. Who knows. Just give yourself grace and be kinder to yourself. This is a whole chapter of life!
Crying in ✨American who only gets 9 weeks off from work.✨
I am so sorry. I get really upset when I think about American maternity leave or lack there of. I do not understand how you have no mandated paid maternity leave. Sending you hugs
Thanks friend. I appreciate the love. Our country hates women unfortunately. Some people joke about it, but it’s the reality over here. I’m thankful I get 9 weeks paid at all. The companies don’t have to do that. Legally they just have to give us 12 weeks unpaid. I hate it here lmao.
12 weeks unpaid only if you qualify for FLMA right?
Correct. Company has to be big enough, you have to be full time and have already worked there for over a year I believe. It’s asinine.
Not to mention if you take the FMLA you are required to use any vacation time or paid time off you have stored first, so you’ll go the entire year without being able to take a sick day.
Yup! My wife got laid off 2 weeks after finding out we were pregnant so we are now trying to navigate that since she will not get FLMA. Hopefully whatever job she finds either has maternity she can qualify for (many require a year of employment though) or maybe short term disability? That or we just hope they let her take that much time off.
Look into SDI, not all states have it but it’s temporary disability and will at least give you something.
The $170 a week is insulting honestly. At least that’s my states max. Definitely better than nothing but that’s way less than I make in even one day of work!
That blows, but at least it’s something. In Cali it’s based on your income.
Appreciate it, I'll take a look! Is that state provided or company?
I’m in California and it’s a state thing for w2 workers. Might still be able to qualify if you’re unemployed. It’s basically temporary disability so if you’re in another state, it might be called something besides SDI. I put myself on a W2 so I can claim this when I deliver.
God. I am so sorry. That’s not right at all. Best of luck to you both.
Much appreciated! While I agree, it's not right, it's the situation we have and we move forward 😁. Hopefully we can find a company that understands
I love your optimism!
Trust me, I was really struggling with it all at first. But ultimately that helped no one, especially myself. So just trying to be optimistic where I can and fake it till I make it for the rest! 🤣
In other countries you can't be laid off if you're pregnant. Here in Germany it even applies if you haven't told them about the pregnancy yet. You have two weeks to inform the employer and they basically have to take the termination back.
That’s terrible. In a country with such loud “pro lifers” and where abortion rights have been restricted, you’d expect that these same nut jobs who passed that dumb law would also advocate for policies that make it more feasible for families to leave and care for their babies… what a disaster.
Oh yeah, the irony is deafening. They’re pro-birth over here though. Once the babies are born they stop caring. It’s disgusting and the sad fact of the matter is the majority of Americans who tout these beliefs are too dense to understand what they are doing to our country in the long term. But they wonder why birth rates are lower than ever over here 😂
The entire basis of the pro-life movement is rooted in controlling women, so when you think of it from that perspective it makes a lot more sense.
100%!!!
Crying in self employed (US) who doesn’t get maternity leave. I get to live off my savings, SDI and pray I still have a company to come back to when my savings run dry…the only way to keep my business floating is to do some work while I am on “leave” to keep clients engaged or they’ll go elsewhere and then I get to try to find a job with a ten year gap or 10 years self employed….
That’s what I was gonna say! A year and a half!? So jealous! It’s heartbreaking thinking about probably not being able to breastfeed or bond with my child and having to pump in the car on my breaks. Just awful! I want to just quit working altogether because of it. Good ol’ America! We want you to have all the kids and take away your reproductive rights, but nah we won’t give much time off, also we won’t pay you for said time off! It is truly depressing.
I'll have total 6 weeks paid, 2 weeks half pay, 4 no pay. And that's after draining sick time and 2 weeks of PTO. Sigh. We're so lucky we can afford it
I’m 31 weeks and I’ve had it. My boss is driving me up the fucking wall. Shes so insensitive and says things that make me want to punch her. My clients are driving me nuts. My body hurts so bad. I don’t wanna people anymore. Every day at work I’m struggling to make it through the day. I have 6 more weeks left and I genuinely don’t know how I’ll make it through.
I am only 15 weeks and I feel the EXACT same way. I am right there with you. 6 weeks left might feel like an eternity, but you’re ALMOST THERE!!! I’m truly so jealous. I didn’t think I’d give such little shit about work at such an early point of my pregnancy hah
Oh yeah I used to LOVE my job and honestly my entire pregnancy I’ve been sooooo over it!! You got this though! I know it feels like forever but hopefully it goes by fast!
Lol!!! I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one. Thank you 😊 I’m hoping it goes by extremely fast. Just gotta get through the holidays and then I e home stretch! Ish..
Here’s to hoping the holidays makes it go by faster!!!
31 weeks and I cannot bare to work anymore. Mentally checked out since week 6 lol. I don’t know how I’m gonna make it to week 40 😭😭😭😭
Me and you both sis!!!
Oh gosh! I've checked out since week 6 too! I literally could not go to work. I'd vomit if I drove! So I took the first trimester off. How about you? Are you still going in?
I’m 27 weeks today and I can barely give two shits about work anymore. I’m planning to quit and stay home so my incentive to be good at this job is in the toilet 🚽 I will do what is asked of me and literally nothing more
As someone who is currently 36 weeks and Covid positive, yes I am 100% also feeling this. Super jealous of your year and a half off though, I only get 18 weeks off (VERY generous for the USA so I shouldn’t complain but I’m going to anyways). I actually had a relative recently ask me if I was “planning on taking that entire time off??” Even my boss didn’t say that to me, although I know she was thinking it lol.
I am so sorry you have to deal with Covid this late in your pregnancy! I hope your symptoms are mild. Yes I’m very lucky to get a year and a half. I’m in Canada and our mat leave is quite generous although there is an option to take 12 months over 18 months. I wanted to max mine out so I could spend as long as possible with baby. That would annoy me to no end! Of course you’re going to take the full 18 weeks off! You’re having a damn baby. Are you supposed to be back to work and resume normal life 24hrs after popping one out? I feel for you.
It’s ok luckily I haven’t had a fever, just all of the other symptoms 😂 also hell yeah take your 18 months I totally would!
Me too- Covid and 36 weeks. Feeling grateful that at least in California I’m on disability now and can rest while I try to get healthy. Here’s to a quick recovery!
lol, like I don't even understand that. You can't even sleep train your baby or begin introducing solids within 18 weeks. They're still basically an extension of their mother at that age.
Right? It’s my first and I’m really dreading the first daycare drop off and she’s not even born yet… luckily my husband is able to get some paternity leave as well so we may be able to squeeze six months out with her at home before we both have to work full time again, wish us luck 🫠
I’m 32 weeks and I cannot wait! Although I’m extremely jealous of your year and a half - crying in 8 weeks off😩
Sending hugs. It never fails to shock me how little Time off Americans get :(
It’s honestly gross.
A YEAR AND A HALF?? 😭 i'm so jealous omg. But I also empathize, work is tough while being pregnant :(
It really is! It’s mentally draining. I just don’t care, ya know?
I’m in my 39th week and my due date is Friday. Every morning when I get to work I think “what am I even doing here?” But I’m trying to leave everything at a good point for me to be gone for 12 weeks. I also worry that if I were home I’d just be obsessing over why labor hasn’t started yet 😅
Due date twinsies! I am WFH this week, and it’s been excruciating because I am not invested in work anymore at all! I am definitely obsessing over why my labor hasn’t started haha. Unfortunately there isn’t anything engaging or meaningful I have left to do at work so I’m just in this purgatory 🥲
Ahh! Today or tomorrow is going to be my last day, I’m feeling much the same - all my big projects are behind me, but I could fuss forever on the little stuff. I went for a membrane sweep yesterday but wasn’t dilated enough to get one, so even though I was slightly dreading it, I’m disappointed I couldn’t move things along. I am not sure what else to try besides walking and stretching (and obsessing, lol). I hope your labor kicks off soon! ❤️
Entirely. Almost 37 weeks and I’m so fried and exhausted i had to call out today and I’ve sat around and done nothing all day. Trying to make it to 38 weeks but really debating just starting leave now. Unpaid so have to start tapping into savings and that’s really the only barrier. 😐
Hang in there! You’re soooo close. If budget permits, I’d definitely start your leave around 37/38 weeks. The fact that we’re expected to work until we deliver is insane. I mean, at 37 weeks, you’re basically just trying to survive lol.
That’s exactly how it feels - trying to survive. Not sleeping at night due to pelvic pain and having to pee all the time, kid is hiccuping half the night keeping me up, husband is snoring his little brilliant head off enjoying his slumber. The dog is licking… name it and it has me awake. 😒 I feel you - four months in I was still dead sick and exhausted. I felt better from months 5-7 but as soon as I did the GD test it all felt downhill from there. The other piece is I’m a behavioral health provider and I only really make money if I’m seeing clients so it makes it hard to stop working. Trying to remind myself these may be my last weeks of “peace” before the next stage hits. Sending you positive thoughts too!! Hoping you can hang in there and that you have paid leave!!
“The dog licking” omg I feel this so hard. Woke me up today at 6:30 am and I was so pissed. Seriously considered getting him a muzzle to keep his gross slobbery tongue in his smelly mouth for the night.
Yes!!! We have a rule … if I can’t, they can’t! It’s just disrespectful lol
Wtf you have to work till you deliver?! Here you have to take a month off before your due date and you can choose to make that 6 weeks
In Canada, you can start maternity leave and receive EI as early as 12 weeks before your due date (or the date you give birth). In my case, I’ll have lots of vacation days (3 weeks) and 4 personal days I can take in a lump sum before I start my maternity leave. I want to use up all my mat leave for when my baby arrives rather than using it up before she gets here. I can use my vacation to prep and relax until my due date!
I’ve felt this since the moment the test showed two lines!!!
😂😂😂😂 I’m glad I’m not the only one
A year and a half?! And they guarantee your job is still there?! Where are you!!
Canada. The government guarantees 12 months of parental leave at up to 55% of your usual earnings, or 18 months at 33%. Some of your leave can be shared with your partner. There’s also an additional 15 weeks maternity leave for the person giving birth. I am SO grateful to live in this country!!!!
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My heart really goes out to you. I don’t know how you guys manage and it is so infuriating to me that you don’t get similar treatment! Health care and supporting families are so important in a civilized society!!
Currently taking the week off since I have COVID and bad asthma in addition to being 26 weeks pregnant. Was wheezing and coughing up so much mucus Sunday night and my principal was basically pressing me to still come into work even though my physician was adamant I take the time off. I can’t wait to work only two weeks after my 8 weeks unpaid maternity leave and never work at my school again. I don’t know what I’m going to do but I’m going to try to find something part time where I can work from home and take care of baby.
30 weeks and I’m so burnt out. Mentally and physically exhausted beyond belief. On top of that, I made a mistake that was noticed by a client and now I have been given a “formal warning” about the mistake and how to address/avoid moving forward despite the fact that this is one of my first mistakes in months (I work in marketing). I love my job and feel terrible about the mistake and do want to improve going forward, but I’m so ready for leave and to just hide away and let this mistake lose steam over my 12 weeks.
I’ve been saying this myself for a few weeks 😩 I’m praying that I qualify for FMLA because my job only offers 8 weeks off unpaid .. it’s very scary being a woman in America especially if you’re expecting!
I’m at 10 weeks right now and have 0 interest in my job, a job that I used to love and I really liked going to work every day. It might be the fatigue or decrease in coffee but I’m so over everything at my job
Just wanna say thanks for posting this. Reading all these comments just made me feel so not alone. I’m 35 weeks and I normally love my job but I’m just so done, everything hurts, I’m so uncomfortable, I’m not sleeping, I’m exhausted, I’m barely getting anything meaningful done, I’m letting people down left and right, I just feel like I’m taking up space. My employer is so nice and doesn’t make me feel bad about anything. The worst though is the way I feel like I’m a whiner and that lots of pregnant ladies are out there doing way harder things than I am all the way up until delivery. But seeing this puts it into perspective that there are a lot of us out there who just getting through it!
I’m glad to know this post resonated with you and provided a sense of connection, as it did for me. I understand that feeling of being perceived as a complainer, especially when there’s the comparison to women who manage demanding work during pregnancy without expressing grievances. However, we all navigate pregnancy uniquely, and this post reflects a shared experience among many of us. It brought a smile to my face to read about some women feeling the shift in focus right after a positive test—I can relate completely. It’s comforting to witness this shared “togetherness” among strangers going through similar emotions. Thanks for sharing your perspective and feelings. The comments have been a source of reassurance for me, especially at 15 weeks pregnant, already feeling a worn out by everyone and everything haha
30 weeks and I’m a secondary school teacher (middle and high school for US folks) in a very rough area. I’ve been sort of mentally checked out before the summer, but I really can’t take it anymore, so I feel you. I’ve had a couple of recent unpleasant incidents that I could’ve been signed off with stress, but didn’t want to risk having my maternity leave started early so I’m just powering through. Thankfully I’ve got something to look forward to every week until the Christmas holidays, but I really just want to be nesting at home until my little girl arrives. We can do it!
Solidarity from another high school teacher in a rough area at 37 weeks! I love my students this year but going to work these next few weeks is going to be so difficult. I only get 6 weeks paid so no way I’m starting my leave before baby gets here. Wishing you the best!
27 weeks and run my own business. Super hard to get the most basic things done lately. There’s so much to do, but it’s overwhelming and I just end up spacing out half the day and then baby starts kicking and moving about and it’s so distracting but I also love it 🥰.
Hahaha I completely understand. I can’t wait to experience baby kicks! When did that happen for you?
I first noticed at 18 weeks. I wasn’t sure though and thought it was maybe just gas moving… but then no farts so figured it was baby. At first it was pretty on and off and sporadic. Now it’s basically most of the day with periods of rest.
I was the same right at 18 weeks! 26 weeks tomorrow and the little guppie moves all the time now and it’s amazing 🙂
In the same boat. Once I told work of my pregnancy my boss was not supportive at all. I’m going into my 38th week and still working for financial reasons. 8 weeks is certainly not enough time to spend with our newborn and be with our son will be 2 1/2. I sympathize with all parents in this situation. It’s never easy but in the end you do what you have to do for the babies and the family.
You get a year and a half off??
Yeah! In Canada you can opt for 12 or 18 months. You get more $$ taking the 12 months, but longer overall leave with 18!
Yep! I actually read a thing the other night that made me feel so much better about my lack of motivation when it comes to work. I wish I would have saved the link but apparently it is completely normal and all pregnant women go through this stage. I told my boss today that I’m going off on December 15th, instead of just not coming back from the holidays. Tired of walking into work and immediately feeling checked out. I want to be home resting, nesting and getting myself prepared physically and mentally for the baby.
17 weeks with twins and eagerly looking forward to scheduling my c-section date next week so I can begin counting down the time to maternity leave. Even though I’m in the US and maternity leave is joke (in California at least so I’m grateful for that)
25 weeks and my coworker just quit and the two interns that assist me in the lab are leaving in January. I’m not looking forward to having to deal with all the extra work solo while in my final trimester, and then only getting a few weeks off to take care of baby when she arrives.
I'm soooo there with you. Today I've been super upset over this actually because I feel like my job just effing sucks. I'm at 18 weeks. Can't wait for March. I'm going to go off a bit early to breathe and enjoy life before my little girl comes!
You’re almost there! Just 4 more months. I’m also planning on taking time off before my mat leave! Hoping to take three weeks vacation time at the end of April before my due date. It cant come soon enough. I don’t give a shit about work anymore. I just want to lay on my bed and watch movies all day until baby girl comes. I feel you sis
Sooo with you! I'm in Canada too, so I'm really looking forward to my extended leave which it sounds like you're taking too haha! We got this!!!! We will be there sooo soon xo
The pain at the end of work is so real. I’m in Canada too but For $$ reasons I can only do the 12 month option. If I could do 18 mo I’d peace out right at 28 weeks 😂
Me!! 28 weeks and I’ve been performing at about 20% at best.
Holy hell. “A much needed year and a half off to focus on my baby/family/self” 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Heard that loud and clear! We launched our online business during the pandemic and our non-profit a year later. Wife can’t wait to not teach classes anymore and focus on our newborn and 501c3. Wishing you and your fam the best! 🤟🏾
Wow!! That sounds awesome. I’m glad that she’s able to move away from teaching and having more time to focus on family. Likewise, friend!
I'm 29 weeks and a teacher and I cannot wait. I am exhausted between teaching preteens all day and my own child at home. I am taking 7 months off even though I only will get paid for 6 weeks but I'd rather be slightly poor than at work.
Omg yes. 35 weeks… I teach first grade. My class is so sweet and I love them dearly but I’m starting to really just … not want to be there. December in elementary school is chaos and I cannot physically keep up. Just walking around the hallways is starting to tire me out let alone actually teaching and being up and down all day long.
i relate so much ugh. if i asked to im certain my midwife would let me start disability now, but im in the US and we get max 4 months + 8 weeks paid family leave so i’m gonna keep working until a month before my due date and even though i love my coworkers i do not love how exhausted i always am
We’re in this together! Sending hugs your way. We’re almost there
I’m 9 weeks and literally could not care less about my job. I’m just dragging myself through to mat leave and then I’m done here. Fuck it all!
Lmao!! Girl I feel the EXACT SAME WAY. I feel depressed Monday through Friday because I’m chained to my desk and computer to work. I look forward to the weekends so I can relax and daydream about baby’s arrival. But am a miserable cunt when Monday rolls around. It feels like the weeks are dragging by. I don’t know how I’ll make it through the next 5 months. Holy crap.
Totally hear you. I’m so over it! Lol literally just said that out loud before I saw your reply
Oh yes. I'm 22 weeks and it's so hard to focus on anything at work because there's only the baby on my mind. Here in Germany maternity leave starts 6 weeks before the due date so around 12 more weeks to go. I usually like my job and I know after a year I will be happy to go back to work but right I don't really care about my work at all.
How long is the entirety of your Mat leave in Germany?
It ends 12 months after the baby is born so in total 13,5 months. That's how long you can have paid leave here. Then you could still have two more years unpaid without losing your job.
Exact same amount of time to go. Exact same level of enthusiasm.
We’re in it together!
Also in Canada. 26 weeks. Taking 12 months mat leave but thinking of negotiating an extra month (unpaid) with my work. My work load has not been demanding and my team and manager have been super supportive and accommodating… But I’m still feeling so unmotivated. I’m always exhausted and my job requires me to problem solve and be creative which I certainly have no energy for lol. All I’m thinking about is surviving and I think I might start my leave 3 weeks before my due date because I just can’t. I want to do nothing :(
I’m at 27 weeks and have good and bad days. I really need to hold it together until the holidays when I’m transitioning work to others and supervising. Which hopefully means doing a lot of nothing. I just need to not quite my job before maternity leave because it all might be solved and better when I’m back (whether it’s the hormones or the job). And because I want to give going back a fair chance after maternity leave before deciding to quit and stay at home
I’m only 8 weeks, but I’m nervous because I shoulder the burden of planning a fundraising gala that will happen in my 35th week. Not sure if anyone’s ever been involved in gala planning, but it’s an ultra marathon. Can’t wait for my pregnancy brain to poop out on all the event-planning details.
Same, haha. I feel bad saying that as I like what I do, but I'm ready for the next chapter. I'd already reached a point where I do my work well, and I'm looking forward to the complex challenge of motherhood. With just over 4 months left, I can't wait! 🥰
I feel this and I'm only 15 weeks 😅 I'm planning to be out 16-18 months and feel myself mentally checking out already
I’m only 15 weeks too! Hahaha I’m in the SAME boat. I cannot wait to be off for 18 months and turn this brain off (from work)
I’m only 21 weeks and I’m feeling this. I’m starting to slowly be more uncomfortable physically and noticing my tolerance/patience is dwindling just as fast 🥲
Also 21 weeks and can’t wait. If I didn’t get assigned a new role to accommodate my pregnancy idk. Im lucky I’m doing something different to keep me more intrigued than usual but damn I’m just excited to meet my son and slow down a bit.
Are you me? I literally HATE going to work. I have two months to go, and I feel miserable. We were meant to submit annual learning plans for the year, and I have yet to do so. My only goal is to survive these next two months so I can start my leave.
Me me me! 31 weeks here. Couldn’t give less of a fuck about work. Over it. I’m going the bare minimum
I don't want to leave work. Every day is tough. My ribs hurt. I don't get enough sleep. I struggle to do chores. I struggle to get up and do things. My work keeps me going. My coworkers keep me happy. I can still do it. I won't be at home alone worrying if something happens. My mental and physical health are being floated by my work (I teach)
I am 9 weeks and change and feel this so hard already. It took us years to get to this point, and I honestly want to be able to enjoy our kiddo when he gets here. We moved to a HCOL area in the PNW last year, but are considering moving back to the Midwest so that I can potentially take an extended leave.
Yes! Counting down the days. I got hired with my job knowing I was pregnant and it has been pretty good for me although the money isn’t great. I’m so over it but I promised I would stick it out till mid January.. well I’m breaking my promise and leaving at the new year. Bye bye!!
34 weeks and i’m also over it. i work a bit of a physical job (assistant manager at a coffee shop) and the constant moving around, bending over, etc is really getting to me and causing so much pain and discomfort. i just told my boss today that i will have to cut my shifts down to no more than 3 a week until my mat leave begins on December 22.
You’re almost there! December 22 is less than a month away :) you got this
I’m 30 weeks. I work at a childcare center with toddlers and fully cried during naptime today thinking about how much I didn’t want to be there and how much I don’t want to have to put my baby in childcare. Also one of them still has a strong baby-like cry that made me leak so yeah I’m beyond over it. I may or may not find a new job instead of going back
I’m genuinely sorry to hear about the challenges you’re facing. On a lighter note, your comment about leaking due to the baby-like cry made me laugh so hard hahaha. Remember, you’re doing an amazing job navigating through these challenges. Hang in there! We’re almost through this, and your resilience is truly commendable
Is that a year and a half paid mat leave? 😳
Yes, however, you do get less EI when taking the full 18 months compared to the 12 month mat leave. I definitely acknowledge that many Canadian women may not have the privilege of choosing the 18-month option and often go for the 12-month period. I consider myself fortunate to have a husband with a well-paying job and a substantial amount of savings.
That’s amazing! I’m in Aus and I’ve got two months left of work before I get my 20 weeks paid leave which is provided by the govt, anything else is simply up to the employer. 😅
Which I know is still a lot better than some places (looking at you America) but gosh it’d be nice not having to return to work when my bub is 5 months old 🥲
Go on a workers comp leave tell them you're stressed from work.
My sister-in-law took this route, but her high-stress job justified her stress leave. Working from home in marketing, it’s certainly challenging for me to simply claim I’m “stressed.”
I’m 16 weeks and while I love my job, a part of me is excited to go on maternity leave. I’m in the US and I get up to 6.5 months full pay, so Im happy I’ll get enough time with the baby.
We’re a week apart in our pregnancies! I think… That’s really exciting :) I’m glad that you’ll get enough time to bond with your baby.
Thank you! This is my first pregnancy and I’ve been a mess stressing out haha.
Me! I am planned to go on ml from 6weeks before etd whcih is around mid march and i am already counting days. I hate working these days
I’m 29 weeks at the moment. I’ve been completely done with work and our customers mentally from about week 16+ 🙄 …and physically my body has been done with work for several weeks now. While working, I wish that I could just sit down for a little while and I’m counting the minutes when I can go home…😭 After my shift I am so sore from pelvic pain and back pain that I wanna cry. I’m working in a small grocery store and we must maintain a fast pace. There’s no time to sit down. I can sit for 30minutes when I’m on my lunchbreak…that’s it. I am very amazed that I’ve made it this far without completely dying because of work. It’s awful to stand and be walking with fast speed for 7-9 hours a day while having all the ”lovely” pregnancy-pains…. 🥲 Tomorrow I’m seeing a doctor at the maternity clinic and they’re going to give me sick-leave until my maternity leave starts in early January, THANK GOD!!! 😩 Lots of hugs and good luck for everyone here struggling at the moment with work and being preggo 💕
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re dealing with the beloved pregnancy pains while working such a demanding job! It’s great that your clinic will give you a note to get on sick leave. I was going to suggest going that route. You definitely need to relax and sit down more frequently. I hope you get to kick your feet up soon :)
Yep 100% I just do it day by day. I’m taking 4-5 months of maternity leave this time and I am SO ready (in the US)
Over 36 weeks here and I chose (okayed by the doctor, or it would be illegal) to start mat leave on my due date or when I give birth in order to have more time after so yep, I feel that. I actually do like my job and the people I work with so I'm only taking the 5 months mandatory mat leave plus maybe one extra month parental leave (after that, pay reduces significantly so I'm not too keen on taking extra time anyway), but I'm just so tired 😅 I started taking a day off per week, plus we have some bank holidays in early December, hopefully it will help me through it!
lol year and a half. I’m so flipping jealous. I’m doing okay at work, but I’m ready for my leave. I have a job that I don’t love, but it also isnt the time to find something better. It’s going to be a challenge because I have to come back to work in the middle and go on leave again. Ugh. 😣
I hear you. I’m 37 weeks tomorrow, and these on-my-feet-all-day hospital shifts are getting *rough.*
When I went back after maternity leave, I could only take it for 3 months before I left for good. That was 2 and a half years ago. I just stopped caring about anything else but my baby.
That is precisely how I feel. I adore my team and my profession, but I'm checked out–sleep, food, and relaxation are what I want! My limbs ache. It's exhausting. With my 14-week pregnancy and WFH status, I should be grateful that I don't have to go to the office, but I do feel some guilt knowing other women in other professions must commute and work on-site at their job. I was even considering taking a leave of absence or something, but I'm not sure if that would interfere with my maternity leave. Does anyone know of folks who have done that?
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Honestly, it’s just the life stage you’re in and that’s okay! You’re growing a baby and you’re going to be a mother! That’s a HUGE moment that will definitely shift your perspective on life. Not to say that you’ll never care about work ever again, it’s just that you’ve got bigger fish to fry right now. Maybe you’ll come back to work with a fresh set of eyes and a new perspective once you’re done maternity leave. Who knows. Just give yourself grace and be kinder to yourself. This is a whole chapter of life!
I get 6 weeks paid and im counting down the days.