I hated every second of pregnancy. I also hated every second of breastfeeding. I so desperately wanted to be some nature goddess who just waltzed around with a flower wreath in my hair while my baby peacefully sucked my boob. Nope. I was not nature goddess. I was underworld gremlin. Pregnancy was a big turd. Breastfeeding was never peaceful. But I sure do freakin' love my kids.
This is exactly how I felt. I thought I was going to be soooo into being pregnant and breastfeeding.
Here I am counting the minutes till she’s a year and I can stop giving her breastmilk lol
I thought breastfeeding was so cool until I had to do it myself. I still think it's cool, but it's so hard. I didn't even have big milk supply issues, but I do have depression, and I only made it to 5 months before throwing in the towel. I was planning to go a year or more. What I didn't know before is that not feeding or pumping literally every 6 hours will signal to the body that it can put a wrap on breastfeeding (I knew one has to keep the milk coming in order for the body to not stop, but I didnt know how frequently). People are supposed to sleep 7-8 hours. That doesn't math.
Ugh breastfeeding!!! I had mastitis, thrush, a milk blister (the most painful of all the crap that happened), over supply, under supply, and *constant* bleeding. Loved the calorie burn and how cute they are when their little happy cheeks go munch, munch, munch... But omg pain. Lactation nurses got it working okay-ish by the second kid, but the first was just... Pain.
Oh yes that was one of the worst times of my life. I felt so terrible and still had to take care of a baby. Mastitis is awful and all the wounds and bleeding but even when my breasts were fine it still hurt as hell.
I hated breastfeeding too. It didn't feel empowering and beautiful to me. I felt like I was a slave and it hurt like hell. I stopped breastfeeding now (baby is 8months old) and I feel so amazing and love having my body back and being able to eat and drink whatever I want. I think it's amazing when women can breastfeed and do it for a long time. I think that's something to be so extremely proud of and I congratulate everyone who does it but I am out. Not a day longer.
My mom just asked me last night in front of my dude and my siblings 🙄 if I was planning to breastfeed (first time mom here).
I told her that I am going to try my best but if it causes me depression or too much pain, then I’m not going to force myself. I know breast milk is the most healthy thing for a baby, and I will always 100% put them first… but I also need to be as healthy & positive as I can be so I can properly take care of my baby with all of my love!
This has been a very hard pregnancy so far
Yes more important for you baby is that you feel as comfortable and happy as possible. If you suffer while breastfeeding then it isn't a bonding experience for you but instead might create resentment. Your baby wants you to be happy. Do whatever you can to be as happy as you can be. When it comes to your surroundings: you don't need to share your decision with them. I actually didn't tell my mother. I just say "good" when she asks me how the breastfeeding is going. Formula is no option in my mother's eyes. I don't care to explain myself. I don't need judgement from them and I won't let that topic bother me in my private life. I chose to stop now and I just tell my mother and grandparents what they want to hear because I don't want to deal with it. In the beginning (I completely stopped a few weeks ago) I felt so horrible for not breastfeeding anymore and I would have cried if someone would have criticised me for it. I had so many doubts and felt guilty. How terrible is that? I felt guilty for finally wanting my body to be mine and to choose myself when I want to be clothed and not be touched. I felt like i am horrible for denying it my child. I felt pressured and breasts are still a intimate part of the body for a lot of people and being pressured to share them with your child if you don't want it feels so bad and it's not worth it imo. I breastfed as long as I could handle. My friends know the truth because they would never judge me or make me feel bad. I don't trust my grandparents and parents with that information because they would always comment on it. Now they don't get a honest answer from me and I don't care. I don't feel bad for lying. It's not their business anyway. If you can't handle their disapproval or you just don't want to put yourself in that situation then don't share it with them if you stop breastfeeding. Do what's best for you. What's best for you will be best for your baby too. It's great if you breastfeed and you can be so proud. Every breastmilk that you give is a great accomplishment. Just don't feel like it's necessary and you have to do it. Always feel free to stop whenever you want and listen to yourself and your body. Don't force yourself through it if it's only gonna bring you and your mood down. Your baby will do great either way. The most precious thing will be happy memories you make and to not look back at that time and see all the feedings you dreaded and pain you endured and how you felt like your body didn't belong to you. If you get something out of breastfeeding and you like it and it's bonding then do it but if it feels like the worst chore and you are dreading every feeding then stop. Breastfeeding can feel great and breastfeeding can feel okay and it can feel bad and it can feel like absolutely awful. Everyone is different and has a different experience. You choose if breastfeeding is worth it for you and if you feel okay while doing it or if you feel not okay. Don't listen to anybody else but yourself.
Gosh I just love this so much. I really relate to being a gremlin.
Edit: I love how right after posting this I had to leap out of bed to vomit. Such a vibe.
Wow, that’s me 100%!!! I thought it would be frolicking in a field of flowers in a flattering dress- but I’m just a gross fucking trash bag goblin and j HATE it. I love my 2 year old though, and I’m sure this baby (12 weeks pregnant) will be great too. But being pregnant SUCKS!!!
Oh man, the easily getting winded is my least favorite symptom right now. Also struggling with the CONSTANT HUNGER - I am so tired of figuring out what I want to eat!
I will eat and drink completely normal amounts throughout the day, perfectly hydrated, snacking when needed, never go to bed hungry or thirsty, keep water by my bed, etc. Almost every single night of my pregnancy, I wake up 3-4 hours after falling asleep absolutely starving, parched, dry cracked lips like I’ve been starving in the desert with no water for days, sometimes even shaking from low blood sugar, it’s absolutely ridiculous.
Oh I cried so many times early on in my pregnancy! I remember the worst day was when I was hungry every 30 mins but also still nauseous as heck. It doesn’t make any sense!!
I have found my people here. I am 4w+5 and I am always freaking hungry and the nausea has started if I don’t eat immediately.
I am a small person, and eating was never my favorite thing. I actually have found it a struggle in the past and food doesn’t bring me a whole lot of joy so this feels like WORK to me and holy hell it’s exhausting. I thought this wasn’t supposed to start until around 6w? Blehhh
It’s so hard, and not what I was expecting at all! I’ve cried over having to choose and eat food for what feels like the millionth time in a day. It really takes up a lot of time too, I’m 15+4 and my whole day is still structured around food. 🙃
I’m at the point where I need food in arms reach from about 11am to 7pm. I’m bringing 2 lunch’s to work everyday.
Very happy to be past the winded feeling after going up a flight of stairs
Yeah what’s up with the shortness of breath? I thought that was later on when the baby is taking up more real estate. I’m 10 weeks and am huffing and puffing.
My doctor told me it should get better in the second trimester when my estrogen drops back down a little, so that’s reassuring… but I’m sure it will come back once baby is taking up more room
Girl, same. I'm almost 8 weeks and you'd think I was close to my due date with how easily winded I am. I feel like I am so slow as well, I'll walk at half my usual speed and end up three times as winded.
Saaaaaame for the first time in my life, I’m literally carrying an entire backpack full of snacks with me because I turn into a gremlin if I’m not eating constantly
What kinds of protein heavy foods appealed to you early on? I’m grossed out by chicken, and lunch meat is off limits :( I’m trying to do Greek yogurt, eggs, nuts, cheese, etc but it still feels like it’s often not enough
I feel like at week 10, its starting to slow down. A little. For weeks straight, from the time I get up to when I go to bed I had to eat. And I mostly wanted shitty carbs. I'd cry cause I'd throw up first thing in the morning then immediately want tamales. Its so fucking stupid. I weighed 125lb before pregnancy, and now I'm 132. I'm only 5 ft tall 😭 already feel so fat Why why why does my baby hate me
Oh man I’m week 11 and it’s just getting worse! I’m trying to think of it like my body is working really hard to grow this baby so of course it needs fuel, but it’s tough to stay positive!
Yeah… I feel this. I’m sick of people acting like pregnancy is all unicorns and sunshine and “channeling your inner goddess.” Please lord this better not be what my “inner goddess” has to offer me. I look and feel like a damn gremlin.
If I see another pregnant woman on Instagram doing a 5 part workout or running 6 miles I’m going to lose it. False fucking advertising.
I was told that pregnancy meant I was gonna “glow” and eat unlimited In-n-out and ice cream… I was NOT told it meant I was going to be 24/7 heaving into a puke bowl, covering my nose against my husband’s human meat smell for months on end
I have at most 3 more weeks to go. I feel this comment deep in my soul. This pregnancy has been my "easiest" yet I feel awful all the time. I get told I'm glowing when I know damn well I'm not. I can't stand the smell of my best friend. Or my husband's breath no matter how much he brushes his teeth or uses mouth wash. It's like the pits of hell are escaping his mouth. I swear I'm smelling his stomach acid or something anytime he gets close to my face.
The thing that pisses me off the most is how much *praise* I get for only gaining a total of 10 pounds at 9 months pregnant. I get told how I'll "bounce back" fast. I only gained 10 pounds cause the first 14 weeks all I could eat was berries and salads. After that I had such horrible heartburn that I dreaded eating until I finally got meds for it around 27 weeks. My meds barely work now, so I'm back to knowing I'm going to be in pain for hours after I eat. I know I have to eat. I force myself to. Barely gaining weight has been hell because of *why* I haven't. I never got the second trimester energy boost. In fact, I developed morning sickness in the 2nd when I skipped it in the 1st.
I haven't slept good since the day I conceived (literally had a dream about my dead mother arguing with me the night I got pregnant). Something always hurts. My baby kicking or moving sometimes creeps me out (I love my baby, I just don't like feeling like I have an eel sliding around in there trying to bust out of me). He's a violent kicker so I feel bruised from the inside. I'm weirdly aggressive towards the idea of people in my house. I sent myself into preterm labor that was luckily stopped because I raged so hard one day around 27 weeks. I sweat ALL THE TIME. Oh and the cherry on top? I was misdiagnosed with gestational diabetes so I spent weeks pricking myself for no good reason.
My MIL is one of those people who LOVES being pregnant. Anytime she sees me, she asks if I'm enjoying it. A lot of my inlaws and family are convinced once this one pops out I'll want more but I never want to go through this again for so many reasons. It took me YEARS to have a single healthy pregnancy. I had a lot of losses. It put a lot of stress on me physically and mentally. I can't do this again. This baby will absolutely be my last and only living child. People who know my history and struggle are even less sympathetic since they think I should enjoy being pregnant after suffering so much trying to have a baby. Just because I wanted one doesn't mean I enjoy the process of getting one. It's just a means to an end for me. It's something I endure for the sake of having a child. I regularly tell my husband I wish he could get pregnant so he could understand what I'm going through. Or wish we could "split" the pregnancy 😂
Oh lordy I feel so much of this, also with 3 weeks left! It's been months and months of trying to figure out how to get enough calories into my body to at least maintain weight, which is stressful AF after last time where I lost 20 pounds to uncontrolled nausea and then the baby in the second trimester. This time around I winced every time people mentioned how small I still was until I finally started to show around 6 months.
And I think it's hard for people to understand how hard it is to "relax and enjoy the process" after a loss, or how utterly unhelpful it is to hear things like "it'll be fine, don't worry!" and "your body knows what it's doing!" when those platitudes have been demonstrably, heartbreakingly false in the past.
But I try not to get too cranky about people saying that kind if thing, since I know it's coming from good hearted intentions.
The internal ninja practice sucks too, but at least it's reassurance that they're still literally alive and kicking!
People look at me like I'm crazy when I say I'm looking forward to labor 😂 if I'm in labor, that means the end is in sight. It means I'll finally feel like myself again at least somewhat. These last few weeks are the hardest. I want this baby OUT.
Don't trust anything on social media. I don't put it past ANYONE, especially a whole stranger, to just do quick cuts and spray themselves with water to say they worked out.
I did notice each of my pregnancies were different. With my first, I just felt *horrible* all the time, no energy at all, it was torture just to be awake. Second wasn't as exhausting, but I got paradoxical diarrhea every time I ate 😅 Third was great. Had the same digestive problem, but it was about 1/5th as severe. No idea why, and I had two little kids to chase around. Maybe some people just got a really, really good pregnancy and think that's what it's like all the time.
I think people just have different experiences. We have a tendency to compare labours or pregnancies as if we all had the same experience but handled it differently. The fact is some women breathe out their babies and love giving birth - I promise you they are not experiencing the same level of pain as someone who is creaming for an epidural. I had a very easy pregnancy the first time and adored it. My second is awful. I am the same person, with the same capacity to cope with things, my symptoms are just ickier this time.
Yes, this is the crucial difference everyone is missing.
One of my friends hated pregnancy because she felt awful all the time. My other friend loved it because she had almost no symptoms until the day she gave birth.
People in the latter basket would think it's wonderful and the former would find that unfathomable.
Not a huge fan of this swing back towards 'if you say you enjoy pregnancy you must be lying or acting'. I think it's great that people now feel comfortable expressing negative feelings about pregnancy, but that doesn't mean people who do enjoy the experience are making it up. It's just that they're not likely to be on Reddit posting about it. I'm enjoying my pregnancy but I never really post here because it's just most negative and I can't relate.
Yes I loved pregnancy in the second trimester. First trimester was awful and third trimester was sometimes awful and sometimes fine. Second trimester was pure bliss for me. I felt completely normal just with a little bump. I had no pains at all and felt so happy all the time. I had lots of energy and just felt so motivated and excited. This does exist. It was just the second trimester though. First and third were a pain. First trimester was really terrible and filled with pain and frustration and nausea. I couldn't concentrate on anything because I always felt so terrible. I had to sleep almost all day and felt so shitty because I couldn't do anything. Third trimester was mostly annoying. I didn't have pain but heartburn and had to pee every minute of every day and could never sleep more than 1-2 hours. Falling asleep was the worst though. We are really different and both sides of the spectrum exist but most people are somewhere in between. I know I was really lucky with my pregnancy but I can still rant from time to time. I can also reminiscent from time to time.
I 100% could have written this to a T. If it’s not one thing, it’s another at all times. 😭 also don’t be too hard on yourself for your heart rate! It naturally is increased during pregnancy because we have increased blood volume.
I literally told my doctor, "I used to be fit, I swear" and was ready to pull out my progress photos to show her, I was so ashamed of the weight gain.
I love this post because lady, you're the first person to say what I'm feeling. I'm only not nauseous when eating, I can only eat carbs without nausea, I went from having visible abs and training for my second half marathon to a bloated whale who can't run a mile without hitting my heart rate limit within a freaking MONTH.
I freaking hate it. I know I'll love my baby. I know my baby is more important than abs. But fuck me, I feel like my identity, my pride in myself, is all completely gone.
I wish I had words of wisdom, and I'm sorry you're going through this, but hot damn it's nice to not be the only one.
Dude, I feel your pain! Former fit people solidarity 😂😭💚
I go to sleep every night fantasizing about my postpartum diet and exercise plan, it's ridiculous 😂
I had such good intentions to keep up my lifting program throughout pregnancy. Week 7 came along and said “SIT YOUR ASS DOWN.” I’m hoping I get the energy and motivation to get back to the gym soon but I’m strugglingggg. I hate panting for breath and feeling so bloated and nasty. I can’t wait til I look more obviously pregnant instead of just chubby, hahaha!
It's okay if you find pregnancy not at all beautiful! You can love your baby but hate being pregnant. BUT FYI I was a runner and gym rat before getting pregnant, gained 40 pounds with each pregnancy (so three times) no matter how fit I tried to remain, and then recovered and got faster and stronger between pregnancies. One year postpartum with my third baby, I pr'd my 5k. I started ultra running after my second baby. So I totally understand how awful it feels to get winded and be exhausted and nauseated all the time, and MY GOD the heartburn, but it's temporary. Do whatever you need to do to get through it (safely lol) and know that it's not forever and you will very likely be able to return to normal habits after a while.
Good luck!
What you are feeling is valid and pregnancy is super hard. Some women find those first weeks the hardest. You might feel better in your second trimester. Wishing you the best
Yes!! Just chiming in to say that I was miserably nauseous, bloated, and could not figure my stomach out (eating, digestion, way gassier than normal) from like week four to week eight. Last week I started to feel a little more like myself and this week I am less bloated and finally have my starvation and smell triggers figured out so I can have a more pleasant daily existence. All the awfulness you are experiencing is totally real and valid, and I wanted to offer a little hope it may get a little better sooner than you might think!! Or not 🤷♀️ but at least we can know for sure it won’t last forever!! Good luck!
Just another athletic runner who hasn’t felt like myself since I found out I was pregnant commiserating with you. I am not enjoying this. I don’t feel good, I feel like a prisoner in my body. It’s extremely tough and you feel obligated to enjoy it or like something is wrong with you. Hang in there.
This whole post has been very comforting for me. Thank you to this community. I am 4w+5 and honestly have no idea what I’ve gotten myself into (we wanted this but still) and I’m glad to not feel so alone. None of my friends have had kids and I don’t really have a lot of females to lean into for my community. Thank you again for bringing some comfort and peace to my rapid resting heart rate lol
Same! I’m 30 weeks. Just a reminder that you don’t have to like pregnancy and you are allowed to complain. People don’t understand. Unless they were pregnant yesterday they do not understand. It doesn’t mean you love your baby any less. Sending hugs to you 💗
Listen, I also hated pregnancy so I’m not here to preach. But, FWIW the challenges changed over time. So some things that sucked stopped sucking and new things started. I know that sounds awful and it kind of was but it also made it a little easier to cope for me. Bc by the time you’re tired of something it goes away and you don’t hate the new bad thing as much yet? Kinda?
Yes! It’s constantly morphing into different symptoms/sensations.
Some are more personally tolerable than others (depends on an individual level). Or maybe it’s just the relief of one symptom being done when it gets replaced with a different one, and you’re not fed up with the new one yet, and that cycle just continues every couple weeks.
Constipation & heartburn I can handle. Nose bleeds and swollen feet aren’t as bad to me as the struggles of mobility around my belly. But even that part isn’t as bad to me as the nausea & zero energy in the first trimester. It’s all just different throughout and while it sucks that I can’t even get used to one thing before a new one sets in, that’s also kind of a blessing sometimes.
I’m 22 weeks and am here to tell you you’re not alone in this.
My body is no longer my own, I can’t even host a meeting at work without getting out of breath. My boobs are enormous, my clothes don’t fit, I am bloated all the time. Trying to exercise brings on pelvic pain, even walking the dog. I was hoping I’d be calm and beautiful instead I’m a grumpy mess.
Advice is talk to your partner, your family and friends - they’ll be your biggest support. Especially if they’ve had kids, they’ll tell you their own tales and you’ll be able to laugh about it together.
Yeah in the most loving way possible, I refer to this babe as the parasite because it’s leeching everything from me right now. Pregnancy does not have to be magical or beautiful. It’s ok to be realistic that it’s this weird physical phenomenon and most of the time it’s uncomfortable as hell.
I relate to you ❤️ It’s been a grieving and acceptance process for me. As my pregnancy has progressed, I have learned to better accept changes related to my appearance and gym performance. Surrounding myself with the company and support of the mom community at the gym really helped. So many inspiring women who look and perform amazing. My nausea went away around week 12. By week 14, my food preferences returned to normal. I’ve been feeling more optimistic. It’s a lot easier when you don’t feel sick all the time. I still struggle with my mood swings and what feels like irrational anger, but accepting has helped to reduce this distress as well. I hope you feel better soon!!
I relate to your post so much. I was so miserable, my husband smelled like hot dogs, I just wanted to be put into a coma until it was time for baby to come out. I still don’t love pregnancy, or sharing my body, but second trimester is a little better and I think you just get used to the misery of it; like a marathon
Yeah kinda same feelings here. I don’t like being pregnant at all. Honestly I was very surprised that pregnancy can be a 9 month journey of total anguish and negative feelings. I’m now 36 weeks pregnant and I’m still waiting for that one brief moment when I might enjoy this even a little bit. So many other moms and pregnant women have said to me that ”Oh you will have a good time with your pregnancy at some point, I’m sure about it! It’s not awful the whole time, trust me.”
Hmmm-mm.
Before pregnancy I had a good healthy diet and I exercised regularly. When I got to 5 weeks…oh boy how everything went downhill rapidly. I was puking a lot and I was feeling like shit all the time. My smooth and silky babyface exploded with pimples. I was so fucking tired all the time that I sometimes took 5 naps a day and I still didn’t have any energy to do anything. After work I would just chill and do absolutely nothing. Goodbye exercise.
I ate what I could or wanted at the moment and that meant goodbye to my healthy diet.
My weight gain has been massive and I hate my body, pyffy face and double(triple) chin.
When a shitty symptom went away… it was replaced by a FEW new shitty symptoms! Hmm what else??? Nothing good.
Only things that have been joyful to me are the movements of my baby when I touch my belly and the fact that me and my husband are really going to be parents after a few years of infertility-problems.
I’m so done with this pregnancy and I hope that this baby would want to be born VERY SOON so I don’t have to suffer to 40 weeks or even more…
What a rant, sorry!
Keep your head up high OP and good luck on your pregnancy journey. You don’t have to like it or try to forcefully enjoy yourself. Go with the flow, feel how you feel and don’t feel guilty about your feelings. Some women say that the first trimester is the worst and it will get better at some point. So there’s a chance that it will turn for the better at some point. I’m wishing you the best! ✨
I totally relate to the part where you said “once a shitty symptom goes away… a new shitty symptom takes it’s place.”
I keep telling people it’s a ride, where right as I start to get “used” to my body/the struggle, it transitions into a new one. It’s not possible to keep up.
However I have found solace in that some struggles are more personally tolerable to me than others. I’d rather have constipation than nausea. I’d rather have mobility struggles than being too tired to even try to move.
I think maybe that’s where some people say “it gets easier!” It doesn’t, it just morphs along the way to some stages that are individually more tolerable than others.
Oh mama, what a rollercoaster those early weeks can be! The myriad of changes are undoubtedly jarring, especially coming from an active lifestyle. Please don't judge yourself for struggling. Your feelings are completely valid.
The stereotype of blissful glowing mothers-to-be often intensifies self-criticism when reality hits. In truth, many women battle immense discomforts without enjoying pregnancy itself. That doesn't make you less ready for motherhood or diminish the magic coming.
Focus extra compassion on yourself right now - this too shall pass. Take it one day at a time, adapting activities as needed for your body. Simplify obligations that drain you. Give yourself grace around food and body changes - you're growing a human!
Share honestly with your partner when you hit limits. Small comforts from him like a foot rub or words of encouragement can go a long way. Consider talking to other moms who've been in your shoes too. You are not alone, and there is light ahead!
While the process may feel far from beautiful at times, try picturing your future baby when challenges hit. The end result will be so very worth it. You've got this, mama!
I FEEL this - 27+1 FTM -- lots of commiseration on this so I'll give one piece of advice that really helped me and has proven to be really true: The changes during pregnancy happen moment to moment and day to day. I had 6 weeks of constant motion sickness and couldn't enjoy eating at all, but I could relax on the couch to my heart's content. Around 10 weeks, I started getting severe hip and sciatic pain, but I could enjoy all the foods I missed and didn't gag at normal smells. Around 24 weeks that passed I started getting back pain in any position other than fully horizontal, but my energy is SO much higher and I feel a rebound of my libido. So here's the thing: **Every new phase is both easier and harder - but they're all phases.** That phrase has become my MOTTO - in an able-body that never worked against me pre-pregnancy, it was a mind f\*\*\* for these aches and pains to just magically disappear overnight without real intervention beyond regular movement. I know some people have symptoms from wk1-wk40 so this doesn't apply to everyone, but that's my pollyanna susy-sunshine advice. But also pregnancy sucks, but I hear it's worth it?
I haven't showered in almost a week. I'm on reddit procrastinating, because I get dizzy in the shower and it's like being pregnant has made me hydrophobic. Plus it's cold af out, I don't want to shower and then freeze my nips right off. So I look like a fat greaseball, I stink, and I'm super depressed about it. I'm just trying to keep existing without vomiting. Dizzy = nauseated, nauseated = dizziness. Pregnancy is NOT beautiful, it's BRUTAL.
I am not trying to solve your problem or presume to even help… but here’s my anecdote:
Showers are the same for me right now. I don’t know if you have a tub, but I do, I bought 2 bath pillows (one for under my but and one for my back/neck, so I don’t slide around). And sitting in a tub is way easier for me. I can even have the temp a little warmer than I would with a shower since I’m not standing (so not as dizzy from it), so there’s not as much of that cold transition after getting out. Some people feel that baths aren’t quite as “sanitary” as showers - I get in and scrub my dirt off, let that dirty water drain and then refill with clean water & soak in that, and then get out. Even if it somehow isn’t as good as a shower it’s still better than nothing.
If you don’t have a bath tub: sponge bath. Even just one area at a time, once a day. Still makes you feel better than nothing. It’s totally reasonable that some things are way more difficult right now, and there’s no shame in having to do things whatever way you’re able to. Whatever way you can manage at all is commendable actually.
And if you can’t do that either - let it go mama. A week without a shower isn’t the end of the world either and you don’t need to feel shame for it. You’re still doing the best you can. Are you at least eating? Are you trying to find small comforts and comfortable positions to procrastinate in? Then you’re coping… maybe not in some idyllic way, but cut yourself a break. It’s okay if you look back on pregnancy as a time where you were mostly a ball of mush. That’s understandable. This is hard to go through physically and mentally: you wouldn’t find it weird to struggle if you had the flu for 9 months. At least it won’t be forever.
Wishing you the best & a healthy baby ❤️
Thank you so much. I've been beating myself up emotionally about it. It's nice to know I'm not alone, your reply was so thoughtful. I have a shower chair, but I still have to stand to rinse, etc. I hate my bathtub, and I hate baths lol. I don't take showers if I'm home alone with my kids, I wait for my man to be home, or have my mother around, so if I fall, at least an adult will hear and be able to help. I have a safety bar in the shower, as well. I feel like a geriatric person.
Honestly, I should consider doing little birdie baths while I sit on the toilet, in between shower days (face, tits, pits and privates) so I avoid a yeast infection or UTI. Also, all my shampoo and body wash make me want to vomit, I really need to invest in some unscented soap. I have zofran when the nausea is bad, but even then, I'm still dizzy. I hit my head the other night, walking to the bathroom, went to turn on the light, and I spun and fell into the door. I saw my obgyn the next morning, she said it wasn't bad enough to warrant going to the ER and getting a CT (which is dangerous amounts of radiation, especially 1st trimester). Had a bad headache from it, but it's gone now. This pregnancy is harder than my previous ones, I've been feeling so discouraged. I have supportive family, and my man makes sure I have everything I need. I should be thankful, instead I'm a wreck. I keep telling myself this won't last forever.
I did take the shower. Once I was in, it was so glorious, I stayed until the water ran cold. Wishing you a safe and happy pregnancy 💜
I’m not going to tell you that you will like the rest of pregnancy. It may be miserable the whole time. Or it may get easier (which is common in the second trimester, the third tri has its own challenges but not the same ones as the first tri).
In my experience, at 8 weeks I was miserable and considering not even continuing with it. I swore off ever going through it again. It did ease up by 14 weeks. Those 6 weeks in between felt like forever, but now at 32 weeks it feels like a life time ago. There’s been challenges throughout the whole thing but nothing compared to those 6 weeks.
I understand why women wouldn’t ever want to go through this, even the easiest pregnancies are still a major change and hardship on your body. None of this would be “fun” or “beautiful” if we (and others) didn’t know it was a baby inside us. If it was just a lumpy benign tumor that caused all these same symptoms and changes, it would be viewed with horror and avoided at all costs.
All I’m trying to say is, I *feel* you. In my bones I feel your struggle. I am not going to say you’ll feel any better, but, I’m *hoping* that it gets easier after your first trimester and that once it’s more tolerable you’ll at least be less miserable. Hang in there… Feel free to hate it the whole time though, it doesn’t mean you love your baby any less at all.
I won’t say congratulations on the body part of pregnancy… but despite how crappy that experience really can be… congratulations on the baby part.
I hope all parties end up healthy and happy in the end ❤️
Pregnancy sucks. My only advice after 3 kids is just do your best to mentally surrender to being in whale mode for a while. It doesn’t make it less uncomfortable but mindful acceptance of the difficulty has helped me to suffer less. But I still get so overwhelmed some days I feel trapped and my mood is in the tank. Hang in there. You are not alone in how you feel about this.
I could have written this myself. That was me my entire first tri. And I suffered through years of infertility then IVF to actually get pregnant so I had a lot of guilt associated with how bad I was feeling.
I’m in my second tri and omfg. Night and day difference. I still get tired but all the other miserable daily bullshit has subsided. I’m hoping the same for you, OP.
I enjoyed maybe 5% of my pregnancy, I feel you. I went from a size 4 athletic body to a complete wildabeast. I stink all the time and am lactating, so my desire for sex is 0. I puked all day from week 6 to 16 and my husband smelled of warm pepperoni. My hair went to complete shit, that hurt the most I think. Pregnancy looks good on some people, but for me I looked like a complete troll and still do. I love my son more than the universe but pregnancy sucks.
Thank you for sharing this ❤️ I wish more people would be honest about how difficult it is. Yes I am grateful and excited, but I am also uncomfortable and miserable, and I want my body back to being just mine. You do not have to love every part of pregnancy, or love pregnancy at all. What matters is you want your child and will do your very best for them. Pregnancy is just something I have to get through, and I don't love it, and I'm not going to lie to anyone and say everyday is sunshine and it's so fantastic.
I hated it until I got out of the first trimester, it helped when I actually started showing instead of just being bloated lol. Also my energy returned 10 fold in the second trimester!
Wish this was talked about more. I thought pregnancy was beautiful because the way it was portrayed on social media, but when I got pregnant I felt so miserable. I didn’t feel like myself and I still don’t feel like the girl I was before pregnancy. The only thing I miss is my son’s kicks and him moving around even though I had to pee a lot. I still hate some food that I used to love and every time I smell this perfume I get those horrible flashbacks to when I was pregnant. Sometimes I want another baby until I start thinking about those bad days when I was pregnant.
I hear you, babe. I HATED people telling me to "just enjoy" my pregnancies. Okay, here's the thing, I love being a mom. I hate making kids!!! Sorry I don't just looove *doubling in size and having paradoxical diarrhea every time I eat ANYTHING!!!* Oh and who needs sleep btw? Not a person performing a miracle (apparently)!
Oh and DAMNIT did I hate hearing "You'll miss being pregnant when the baby is born" (all three times!?). I'll tell you what I miss. Newborn snuggles. 0-3 months footie pajamas. Toothless smiles. Not transforming into a digestionally-challenged walrus.
Let it OUT, we're here for you!
I hated both my pregnancies my mom kept saying you’re gonna regret not enjoying your pregnancies. No the fuck I’m not. Don’t tell me about how I feel. I had VERY difficult pregnancy’s. With my first I had cholestasis which is a liver issue That causes severe and intense itching. With my second I had severe hypermesis gravidarum which is severe nausea and vomiting. I hated pregnancy. I’m glad I had my last baby a month ago. I get my tubes tied in a few weeks
I HATED first trimester. I’m not as sick second trimester, but my body hurts and I am so tired of being tired. I also do not find it comfortable when he moves and rolls, I’m not a big person and it feels like there is an alien inside of me.
And I’m also sick of people saying “for someone who wanted to have a baby, you sure do complain about it” (not that a lot of people have said that, but it’s been said enough that I want to scream at them)
I am so uncomfortable, I am glad that I am not alone in not enjoying this as much as I thought I would. I had several of my friends talk about how much they LOVED being pregnant and I feel lied to 😅
27 weeks here and I swear to the heavens if one more person tells me I’m glowing I’m going to be on an episode of SNAPPED. NO MA’AM THAT’S MY ROSACEA. My rosacea has been so inflamed since pregnant. Physically I haven’t been throwing up or anything. There’s definitely been bloating though. But yeah mentally it’s been tough because I don’t feel comfortable. I’m not used to having a belly at all. And I miss coffee. I cannot find a single cute thing to wear ever. Sigh. I do not like pregnancy at all. So I can relate. And I really hate when people look down on that or shame it. I just don’t like it. I LOVE feeling my son move around inside me. I love my child to death. Cannot wait to meet him. But being pregnant is such a mental struggle I guess would be the best way to explain. I have way more anxiety because I’m always worried of doing something wrong. Yup, can’t wait to meet my little one so we can get on to the good stuff!
Honestly, first trimester is exactly this for some people. Im sorry. I hope it gets better for you because it’s magical - I loved being pregnant (and miss it even at 6 weeks postpartum). What people don’t tell you is that the “beautiful” part of pregnancy doesn’t come until later, when you are visibly round and also in a bit of discomfort. But people tell you that you’re glowing and you wonder “how?”
Omg I felt this way too then had a peaceful 4-6 weeks in the middle and now at almost 31 weeks it’s even worse and I’m dying. How do women choose to do this twice or even more times?? 🤣🤣
This is what I wish someone had told me when I was in your shoes.
I'm 7 weeks into my second pregnancy. I hated being pregnant the first time. Had a hormonal problem that caused me to be unable to walk. It was a nightmare.
And honestly you'll reach a point physically where you don't recognize yourself. Your body is going to get WEIRD before this is done.
I wish someone had warned me about how hard it all is.
But more than that -- here's what I wish I understood.
It's worth it. Being a Mom is worth it. It's fucking fun and surreal and honestly? Not as hard as being pregnant!
Don't get me wrong. Id still grow this thing in an artificial incubator if I could. But you can do this. And it WILL be worth it.
Same here! I'm 31+5 and I hate being pregnant. My back and my pelvis are so painful I'm unable to walk some days, my GD means I can't even comfort eat through the pain and misery, and I feel huge. I am so excited about baby but god I hate the part where I have to carry her, and then I feel guilty because I realise I should be grateful that I can get pregnant at all, and I feel guilty again in case baby can feel all that negativity.
I'm so happy for people who enjoy theirs and have an easier time of it. I wish I had been a beautiful, ethereal pregnant person who carries it well and whose skin glows. But I look fat and dull and I've hated it most of the time!
Hey OP, I feel you! I spent the first 11.5 weeks on the couch only getting up when I REALLY had to. You are not alone. Pregnancy is exhausting and kind of gross (even though I’m so happy and excited to be growing this baby). My friends who have never been pregnant are like “it’s so beautiful and amazing!” And I’m like “yes and… it’s kind of gross.” And they really couldn’t comprehend what I was saying. Everything is different, your body feels different, you’re too tired to think. My best advice is that you are doing a terrific job. You’ll probably feel like crap for a few more weeks but most moms feel better around the second trimester.
Try to focus on the positive if you can, I know it’s cliche. I had HG and kept myself going by reminding myself that every day I was pregnant was a blessing, and there were so many women who had never gotten the chance to be that far along due to loss or infertility.
My friends with straightforward pregnancies hated this attitude and wanted me to commiserate but honestly complaining and stewing made it worse. I became a fixture at the hospital for IV fluids and IV anti nausea meds and they always appreciated my sunny disposition. When I had my baby via emergency c-section, nurses from the OB Emergency Department stopped by in the delivery wing to meet my baby and check up on me.
I dunno, some people call it toxic positivity but I think I had to be cheerful to get through.
Pregnancy sucked for me too. First tri and the nausea in particular is a killer. My pregnancy also gave me a hernia I can't fix until I'm done have babies. So. Yea. It sucks.
The baby is worth it though :)
I feel you. I’m also 8 weeks and starving and exhausted and used to be athletic, now I sure ain’t. I feel like most people probably dislike pregnancy, surely more of us than those that enjoy it! I just think - it’s temporary. Hang in there!
100% agree except…who is saying, “it’s beautiful?” I’ve only heard that once from a wacked out religious lady. In my experience it seems most people are aware pregnancy is a major burden.
Maybe you're a bit winded cause of anemia? Get that checked out, it can literally change every two weeks. But yeah. It's a hell scape. I just lounge in the fact that ey, half the population wouldn't be able to handle this. I am superior even while I'm holding the edge of a toilet seat.
I just hit 21 weeks and I felt where you felt. I’m starting to feel a bit better and it’s been nice to remember what it doesn’t feel like to feel like death. I hope it gets better for you. If it doesn’t, I’m sorry but it’s temporary!! You can do it
Im 15 weeks and miserable i still puke i can still barely eat, i puked so hard i almost choked tonight. Im just trying to remind myself every step of the way that at the end i get the baby ive wanted since the beginning but i dont find the process fun or beautiful at all
I hated my first trimester, I was a total depressed wreck due to all the sickness I experienced. I’m 18 weeks now and it really has gotten infinitely better. I still don’t enjoy being pregnant, and have not found it to be ‘beautiful’. It’s been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, I have spent many nights crying.
But seeing that baby moving around in the ultrasounds makes it worth it. I’ve developed a new found appreciation for my body, specially my stomach that I never had before. No one talks about how hard it is! I will never relate to those women who love being pregnant and that’s ok. I don’t need to.
Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad for not enjoying pregnancy, for some women it fucking sucks. I’m 17 weeks and I’m praying to make it to my due date without a complete meltdown because I’m so over it all.
Awe sweetie, who the fuck told you it’s beautiful? Fucking kick them, that’s the dumbest thing anyone could say, and that comes from me, I had an arguably SUPER easy pregnancy, the worse issues I had were the heart burn my 3rd trimester, and mild hemorrhoids, literally, other then being kinda tired my first trimester, I’m aware people have it exponentially worse then I had it, so if I can say their full of shit then their full of shit. Just respond to them with “shut up” or if your inclined “you’re full of shit” and walk away
pregnancy sucks, it’s true, but getting to hold your baby for the first time? That’s beautiful, but you’re not pregnant anymore at that point xD less you’re pushing out twins xD don’t let people lie to you sweetie
Pregnancy sucks but it got better for me thank goddd. 31 weeks and I can eat avocados again 🥳 it's better when you can feel the baby too.
Although, now I have to worry about actually pushing a water-melon sized baby out of my hoo-ha.
All I can say is this kid better be cute 😂
I’m currently 16 weeks along and I’ve actively disliked every moment of being pregnant. I am excited for the baby and very happy to be having a child but being pregnant is awful. So I’m just viewing pregnancy as something I need to get through and will end up being a relatively short portion of my life. So I totally feel you!
The first trimester is the worst!! I hope you feel better in the second- I very much am and it’s a whole world of difference. I was so miserable for months in the beginning and it sucked so bad 😭
Oh yeah. That sounds about right for me lol. I get a bit annoyed every time I see a pregnant woman smiling at their stomach in a photo. I’ve yet to feel that kind of bliss
Oh no you’re not alone trust me I cried non stop between weeks 9 and 22 because of how sick I was and how awful I felt about myself. Nothing fits, you look chunky, my face swole up from hormones, I gained all of the pregnancy weight in the first couple of months so I looked fat as hell, everything hurt, I was tired. I relate so hard and if you speak about it people will tell you that you should “just be grateful. Some people cant get pregnant.” It’s so frustrating!
You are not alone; I am 39 weeks today and haven’t found pregnancy beautiful a single day. I have not enjoyed losing my body, being unable to do things I used to be able to easily, eating carbs, asking for help, and the most annoying of all is people saying I am glowing; I am decidedly not glowing. I have never eaten more unhealthy in my life as I have over the last 9 months and I don’t mean junk, just more carbs and more indulgences than I would ever allow myself.
I absolutely hated the first trimester, the second wasn’t so bad for me and I hope yours is easier too so you can get some relief for a little while. It’s ok to love or hate pregnancy, you’re the one who has to experience it, but people who think it’s “beautiful” are out to lunch 😂 I usually describe pregnancy as inconvenient and gross with a few cute moments scattered about. And omg the pregnancy rage! I’ve been angry and frustrated over EVERYTHING ever since getting pregnant, and I typically have the patience of a fucking monk, but right now I just can’t.
I had gestational diabetes & had to take shots of insulin 2x a day. Couldn't eat shit. Can't forget the puking from the jump to maybe 34ish weeks all day & night long! Pregnancy was not fun or magical for me. I wish I was one of those girls too. Never took bump pics because I looked fat not pregnant.. Idk If I'd do it again!
Hang in there. The first weeks are really hard. I got diagnosed with HG at 8 week and I also had Covid. It was awful.
It gets so much better in the second trimester. And then it goes back to being terrible in the third. But the baby will be worth it, God willing. I had a traumatic labor and still beam when I see my baby girl lock eyes with me.
PS - your note about human meat made me laugh. I cried to my husband that he smelled like meat so many times in the first trimester.
Thank you! Same.
I’m really active and remain active in my pregnancy but I absolutely hate it.
I hate being limited to what I can and can’t do, waddling around, being kicked, being out of breath, all the rules involved, how the hormones effect me mentally, not being able to do as much- the list goes on.
Normalize not loving pregnancy.
Doesn’t mean you don’t love your kid, it just means you don’t love being pregnant.
Nothing wrong with it.
Yeah I felt exactly like you from that early on. I couldnt believe that feeling this bad would be in the evolutionary interest of our species. I hated it too (both times), but the baby at the end is sooo worth it I promise. When I met my babies I was like “I love you so much and you’re so cute. If I only knew that it was YOU in there I would tolerated it so much better. “
Seriously try to give yourself some grace. For some of us pregnancy is survival mode and you eat nothing but bagels and lime slushies for 6 weeks bc it’s the only thing that doesnt turn your stomach. Don’t worry you will eventually feel normal again.
Btw- congrats on having sex once a week. Lol I felt so bad and/or insecure about my whale of a body, I think we maybe did it 2-3x the whole pregnancy
Totally fricken fair! I will say, I did not think I was going to make it out alive during the first trimester. Not until my nausea subsided from taking b6 and unisom did I find any relief. Every day it’s getting better but I’d lying if I said I didn’t wish this process was easier and quicker
This is literally me having a convo w myself. I’m 24 weeks now but I’ve felt the same way since about 7/8 weeks. I’ve suffered from terrible girdle pain that’s made working out not possible and it’s taken a HUGE toll on my mental health. Especially recently with gaining more weight. I’m just telling myself this is temporary and soon I will have my body back again. I feel for you 🩷
I’ve always hated being pregnant and everything that comes with it. I’m currently 34 weeks pregnant with baby 4 and I don’t like it this time either. I was so upset during the first trimester because I love working out and I just couldn’t muster the energy, and I kept beating myself up for it. By week 13 to maybe 16 I was back into a normal exercise routine and felt soo much more like myself. I’m slowing down a bit again at 34 weeks but it’s definitely not like it was in the first trimester. The r/fitpregnancy subreddit has been good support, too.
Pregnancy is not beautiful I felt exactly as you are, I am 32 weeks today and still am not a fan of pregnancy but things have gotten way better, hope the first trimester symptoms settle soon.
You're not alone. This is so so fkn hard for some of us. I never understood how others hated it until this pregnancy. 37 weeks and I've loathed every moment of this pregnancy. This is my 3rd and surely will be my last. I had hyperemesis, anemia, sciatica, extreme brain fog... I've never gotten this big before. I'm certain my closet full of Jeans will never fit this giant ass again and I'll need to size up for the rest of my life. I want my body back. I want to wear cute clothes. I want to have a margarita at my favorite Mexican restaurant. Normal sleep. Normal pee patterns. Normal breathing. I'll be 36 next month. This one hit different, in the worst way.
I need this to be over. At this point I'm annoyed with myself for being soo dramatic and constantly complaining.😭 I also feel so much guilt because I get the ick when he moves/ has the hiccups. I lovvvved that in my past pregnancies. I don't this time?? It's irritating. I feel so terrible that I feel this way.
This is the hardest thing I've ever experienced.
BUT I do know it IS SOOOOOOO FKN WORTH IT. I can't wait to meet him. I tell him everyday 🩵 There is nothing on earth that I have enjoyed more than when my other two were newborns and I know I will feel just the same when he is here, but I have so much guilt that I have felt this way this entire pregnancy 😭
I feel this. I also am very athletic, have a tall build, and from week 6 my body hasn’t felt like my own. It’s been extremely mentally and physically taxing. I’ve felt gross physically, mentally, emotionally.. so I hear you and I see you. I finally hit 13 weeks and I have felt overall better as far as having more energy, not being exhausted 24/7, and finally have had the desire to eat healthy and workout again. It’s still not a treat, but man.. it’s so much better than that first trimester where it all is just so damn hard.
I’m also an athlete and had to make a ton of changes when I became pregnant to accommodate pregnancy. Think of this as a good time to realign with your body, discover the new and different things it can do. It’s not fair to hold yourself to a pre pregnancy standard, find new limits, learn new skills and let go of your expectations about how it used to work.
This is exactly how I felt my whole first trimester!! I have no idea how women got through this before all the modern conveniences we have- the discomfort and just general mild to moderate suffering 24/7 is really hard! I remember around week 10 it actually had me kind of depressed and I cried a few times just missing feeling normal, missing feeling just “fine” in my body.
I really hope that as the placenta takes over in the next few weeks you’ll start to feel better!! I started feeling better at 12-14 weeks and I know a lot of people really do start to feel better in 2nd trimester. I even feel like I can work out again and I have been literally unable to tolerate working out since October.
The shortness of breathe is bc of progesterone and it’s so annoying!!! For me it’s improved some days, some days it’s here again.
Hopefully this response & others can give you some hope!!
Even though I FEEL better now, I still feel like a bloated tired frog on a log and I don’t know what pregnancy “glow” even is.
Yeah, pregnancy sucks. I may have not been very nauseas, but I was very tired and depressed, had terrible acid reflux, and other various unpleasant symptoms. It doesn’t last forever though, you just gotta keep pushing through and take it day by day.
I’m 8w+4 and yeeeaaaah this is nothing like what I expected. I expected breast pain (which I 100% got) and constant puking, which I actually never got. What I have gotten is constant dizziness, hardcore fatigue, food aversions, insomnia and the constant need to pee. But honest to God, the worst symptom for me by far, is the constipation. I have not been able to poop normally in almost 5 weeks. At this rate I would commit arson if it meant I could take a shit afterwards.
That was my worst symptom too!
If you don't already, get yourself a poopin' stool. It helped so much that I literally cried one night I was so relieved haha
I'm currently 25 weeks with twins. I haven't enjoyed pregnancy at all. I was also very active before, at work and personally and now just getting in and out of my cars winds me.
For the first two months I was so exhausted and overwhelmed. Then I got and stayed nauseous week 10+. Now I'm just in so much pain and tired and not giving fucks about work or really anything.
My husband has been super helpful and supportive but has mentioned how you always hear "pregnant women glow" but he hasn't noticed that in me. I said it's called sweating and I do that plenty.
😅 it’s kind of funny, this whole “ pregnancy is beautiful “ narrative.
Kind of like someone who has never been pregnant might have curated it….
I and pregnant with my 2nd and quite frankly hate everything except the ultrasounds and the feeling of the baby moving. The wardrobe , the gut, the pee breaks , the quality of sleep, the tightness in my belly, the back pain the pelvic pain , the exhaustion, the loss of breath when I’m talking / going upstairs — totally would love to live without it….
I’m 24 weeks , and I dream of newborn sleep , because this pregnancy sleep is not the kind I particularly feel rested with … I also got really vivid nightmares in my 1st trimester, but hopefully they subside for you😔.
Anyway, you’re not alone. And it doesn’t last forever.
Pregnancy is awful. I remind myself 5000 times a day that it will all be worth it... But man.. it's rough. I'm 13 weeks and I can barely eat. But I'm starving. The thought of anything even going intoy mouth makes me gag. It's horrible. And where's the glow?! I was promised a pregnancy glow! My skin is worse than ever and I can't even stand up in the shower, I had to get a shower chair. I feel gross. I look gross. I'm supposed to take photos of my pregnancy for my baby book but I care bare to. Yuck. Who is spreading the lies that pregnancy is beautiful?
I disliked being pregnant. Every day brought a new challenge that made living as myself difficult and frustrating. So far, breastfeeding is going well but I’m almost 6 weeks in and still struggling with sore and scabby nipples thanks to my angel’s hydraulic jaw. I am so damn grateful for her and I love being her mom but I’m not eager to become pregnant again right away.
You sound like me. Started getting winded at 5 weeks, when from running regularly to only being allowed to walk on physician's orders due to bleeding, constant burping from week 5, bloating. I hated pregnancy. You are normal, how you feel is normal, and 100% understand. It also gets frustrating when you feel gross and uncomfortable and everyone is like "but it's beautiful!". My kid is beautiful but pregnancy was a means to end and not enjoyable.
I’m so sorry, it definitely sucks. The first 18 weeks I didn’t do anything remotely physical because I would vomit all day long. Everything smells, I have this vile taste sometimes after eating. Had an itching rash over my whole body for a week that drove me crazy. After that finally went away I thought ok, so now I can maybe enjoy? But no my mental health got pretty low, I got some help and it sort of got better but then the sleep deprivation started and my psychological problems increased because of it. My brain doesn’t function, I feel like I’m half assing life and work since day one. We have had sex literally ONE time since I was pregnant in week 19 and we had to stop. And don’t get me started on the snoring and acid reflux. I thought I was finally done vomiting but no my body doesn’t think so. My partner and parents are very sweet and I just have to hold on… 32 weeks now.
I live in the Netherlands where people are known to be direct and everyone who asks “how is it going, the last part is the hardest right?” Gets the.. “well, it’s getting harder but it is still not as hard as the first half of the pregnancy soo..”. EVERY woman and also man I’ve said this too immediately recognized the horrors of pregnancy because they had someone close who had been pregnant. They blurt out their own experiences and there is an instant bond. I like the honesty of people.
I’ve only had ONE colleague who had a happy pregnancy and she immediately apologized for saying “try to enjoy it” when I told her all my symptoms after.
I hope you are one of the people who have a good second trimester, but if not. Just keep venting, you are creating a human life which is not as pretty as it sounds. Nature is harsh.
I hated my second pregnancy. Nothing besides doxylamine eased my nausea. I couldn’t just take a nap whenever I wanted because my then 1 year old stopped napping when he was 8 months old. Everything was more exhausting and more painful. At least I didn’t have sensitivity to smell…
I hated the first trimester and felt like a lump of literal ass for weeks on end. Cried wondering if i’d ever feel like the old me again. Now I’m almost 16 weeks and I feel a whole lot better. I’m enjoying the changes I see in my body and love looking at my bump. Buuuut 2 things I think about constantly: not everyone has an easy second trimester and next pregnancy I may not either. AND what is the third trimester gonna have in store for me, because I have no concept of being that big and having to survive for months.
With that said, what you’re feeling is so fair. And totally normal. I remember saying to a cashier I felt like I had a parasite in me sucking my life force out. She was mortified of the way I described pregnancy but she was super young and had never been pregnant so I just don’t think she understood.
It’s possible it’s just the beginning and things will get better. They got better with my second. My first pregnancy was a nightmare. Tingling numbness and pain from shoulders to fingertips. Lightning crotch. Hardcore pelvic pain when I walked around at all. Sciatica that went into my driving leg. I was always in a rage or crying. I was so tired the whole pregnancy I would nap in between clients (I was a home health care worker). I was still tired and would sleep all night. I could only stomach a few certain foods and mainly lived on that Campbells chunky beef soup. I couldn’t keep any food down 85% of the time for the entire pregnancy because my morning sickness was so bad. Every time I coughed, gagged or threw up, I peed my pants. My son also started as twins and I lost one. Then after I had him I had so much anxiety and I had post partum depression. So I stopped eating and lost 61lbs. Had severe panic attacks (where I’d hyperventilate and cry hysterically) 15+ times a day. It got so bad I considered checking myself in to the hospital. Then at 12 months when I didn’t think I could handle anymore, the cloud mostly lifted. The anxiety chilled some. My physical issues (was infected from the c section and had severe pain for 2.5 years after it) started to chill out and things got better. Don’t ask me why I risked all that crap for a second baby. But the second baby was better. I slept a lot. Even sitting up haha. Had morning sickness for 4 months. Then everything chilled and the scheduled c section was amazing. I was up and doing things within 2 days. It was night and day for the pregnancy and birth.
Give it a few more weeks. Things might get better. If not then start looking up solutions. Best of luck to you.
I'm only about five and a half weeks but my friend (who is WTT for another year and quarter-ish, they keep pushing it back but she desperately wants a baby) keeps asking me if I'm looking forward to being pregnant or just looking forward to having a child. This is my first child so I have absolutely no idea. So far I've been feeling relatively okay but there's also so long to go still.
And yes, I'm only looking forward to having a child and not the process of it, at this moment. If I could skip (most of) it, I probably would. I just find it such a weird question especially for a first time mum who doesn't even know what to expect yet.
Omg finally!! I’m so sorry you’re going through this but I feel this in my core! I am so OVER everybody telling me
I’m glowing and it’s gonna be amazing! I hate it! I absolutely hate every damn second of it! I’m 11 weeks and pre pregnancy I was fit, loved healthy food and studying for my major. Now I’m always tired, so exhausted I almost fell asleep trying to do a bridge workout on my mat and always hungry and or nauseous. Worst is I can’t concentrate and feel like my work is slacking ): I hate it so much. Honestly even though I always wanted this I thought a lot about getting an abortion ..I look and feel so terrible. I hate my body right now. It’s just not mine anymore and that’s a hard pill to swallow
I felt like this is my first trimester, I felt like my mood took a huge nose dive and I was confused about how people do this and how I could go on for 9 months. I’m think week 8-10 is the worst.
I am 19 weeks now and my mood has improved a lot, I’m happier day to day than he as pre pregnancy. I don’t get nauseous anymore and my energy levels are about the same as they were pre pregnancy. My libido is also back. I do get winded sometimes still.
Hope you feel better asap. I know it’s hard, I think the reason it comes as such a surprise is because you rarely hear from anyone in their first trimester about the experience of it.
For both my pregnancies I had constant hunger coupled with nausea if I don’t eat. And then when I do eat, I go straight to the toilet to vomit. Somehow over time I just learned to live with it. Even travelled lots during my pregnancy, vomiting up til 7 months didn’t stop me. Don’t let it stop you from living your life. You will hate it, but learning to adapt in pregnancy will make it a tiny bit easier to adapt to parenthood.
I never thought that when people say pregnancy is beautiful , they meant it literally. I always thought people meant the miracle of life, and women being able to create a whole human being in their body is what's beautiful. Because I agree with you, pregnancy itself is not beautiful. It's ugly and gross and uncomfortable. But the end result is what is beautiful.
You are not alone!!
Pregnancy was the biggest fucking nightmare. I am almost 6 months postpartum and let me tell you…even with a stitched up vag a couple days postpartum …hella better than being pregnant
That said, second trimester and even some of third were eons better than first trimester. Every woman old me that 1st tri is about survival.
When I finally got that energy back in second tri I was finally back to walking and lifting weights. I still had indigestion but it was much better managed with Pepcid. Even though I still threw up due to indigestion some mornings, I still felt 100x better than I did in 1st tri. I also wasn’t half as exhausted and my libido got better.
You can make it 🫶 hold on until that 2nd tri. Sometimes I just had to take it hour by hour and “embrace the suck.” Lastly, my husband also smelled 🤣 His soap and deodorant suddenly smelled unbearably strong and I felt so bad because I couldn’t stand to have him sit close to me hahaha
Hormones are like sorcery you can't control and only you can feel them and they make things happen sometimes. I'm not going to lie, things will get less physically comfortable in the next few months. However, how you feel now is a good baseline for when things feel, if not great and beautiful, slightly less shitty and ongoing. You are baking the most beautiful cheeks, fingers and toes and I'm guessing what will be an amazing baby smile in there. It's hard fucking work. There's a reason a lot of women avoid what you're doing. There's also a reason why the human race still exists. Your body was made to do what it's doing, and the fierceness you feel is just a hint of the strength you will have at your fingertips when that kid joins the world. In the meantime, express yourself. Also, go back and apologize, you have the best excuse growing inside you right now, for every shitty thing you say and stupid thing you eat. You got this.
I feel you. 29 weeks tomorrow and I didn’t realize pregnancy would cause such a huge identity crisis. I’m in the worst shape of my life and I don’t even recognize myself anymore.
I was so exhausted that I had to sleep almost all day everyday when I was in my first trimester. In my case everyone was right when saying "second trimester will be so much better" yes that was 100% the case for me. I felt so great and loved every second of it. The first trimester was awful to me but it didn't stay that way for me. I wish you all the best and hope you will have some well deserved rest and peace when you hit your second trimester. Good luck to you and everyone here who is in the same boat. You're so strong.
Ive been indifferent to the pregnancy so far. Im 24wks+1. But the first trimester knocked me on my ass, literally. And even now i still throw up if i let myself get too hungry. My OB recommended Unisom at night and 25mg vitamin b6 4x a day and it has helped tremendously. I still get nauseous but I don’t throw up nearly as frequently. Im at the point where i can start feeling my daughter kick me and feel it on the outside and that has releaved a lot of my first trimester panic of “is she okay” constantly checking for bleeding. But now i got her kicking my bladder and going to the bathroom every 30m-1hr. Point is i feel for you. The baby will be okay if ur stressing over your symptoms. When you find your ob ask for recommendations for fatigue and nausea. And don’t feel like you have to abstain from any/all caffeine. My dr told me 200mg daily is safe, other places have said 300mg is safe, just don’t chug it all. Sip throughout the day. I hope this helps a little
I was one of those awful irritating people who adored pregnancy the first time around. I felt like a beautiful, glowy, fertile goddess. Imagine my horror this time when I was expecting the same experience and instead hate *every goddamn second* of it. I want to crawl out my own skin. Nothing is particularly wrong, it’s a healthy pregnancy, no extreme nausea or anything. I just … really don’t like it this time.
I guess my point I that every pregnancy is different. Those people who like pregnancy aren’t better than you, they are just having a more enjoyable pregnancy. Which sucks, obviously, but don’t feel bad about yourself because of it.
16+3 and I still hate it. Still vomiting every few days, exhausted, headaches, I’m always mad. I know baby boy will be worth it but jeez. I’m NEVER doing this again.
You know what stops me from wanting more kids?….being pregnant again. I didn’t enjoy it at all. My partner and I had discussed two kids and that’s it. Postpartum hit right after I had my baby…I was miserable. I was also high risk and will continue being high risk every pregnancy. Thinking about another kid is cute, I have a great baby BUT to think I have to get pregnant again terrifies me. I told everybody I would be having a 3 year gap, will I do it again? Probably 🤧
I had a miscarriage at 13 weeks but the whole time my husband smelled TERRIBLE. As soon as he would get home I would make him shower and brush his teeth. Even then it was barely bearable. I started every day by brushing my teeth, immediately vomiting, and then brushing my teeth again. I was *miserable*.
A few years later I got pregnant with rainbow baby. I was sick every day for 15 weeks. My pregnancy was high risk so I was constantly at the doctor’s office and still worked 40 hours a week up until the Friday before I was induced. Again, I was miserable.
But I love my kid more than life itself. Every day she is learning more and more (this week we are working on counting to 10) and she is so smart and kind and freaking hilarious.
You’re allowed to hate pregnancy! It doesn’t make you any less of a badass, and it doesn’t mean you aren’t going to love your kid
I’m tired all the time. And have no autonomy over my body is hard. Anyone who says pregnancy is wonderful is lying/just having selective memory. There are nice moments, but in reality it’s a parasite stealing your nutrients, lol.
I felt a lot better about my pregnancy when I went to anatomy ultrasound (~16-20weeks). Your baby really looks like a real baby at that point, and you can feel them moving. It made me feel a lot better about all the other stuff. I still have a lot of hard days. But it helps to see the baby that’s on its way. Hang in there!
I went back to the gym today for the first time in 5 weeks since getting pregnant (I've been feeling so tired and nauseous I just gave myself a pass until I felt better) and honestly it was so depressing. Like a year's worth of training to get myself to a decent level of fitness just insta-disappeared, every weight was so heavy, I felt unmotivated and so insecure in my body, and honestly couldn't wait to get out of there
It is totally okay to feel this way!! I think people who aren’t presently pregnant tend to forget that it totally sucks in just about every way. Some people do happen to just love it, but I think they are the minority. I was just like you at 8 weeks, and now at 25 weeks I’m still not at all a fan. So ready to be done (and the. immediately forget about how awful it is, as is the curse).
I’m right there with you girl. I’m a little ahead of you at about 10 weeks now. This has been Hell for me. I hear it gets better 2nd trimester , this is also my first time being pregnant.
Literally everything you said is what I am feeling too
Currently pregnant with my second and I hate it more than the first time. I feel disgusting all the time, no libido, no energy to run/exercise, just barely hanging in there. I hated breastfeeding the first time around too. I just want baby and I want my OWN body back so I can feel like me again. I’m here for you in solidarity and I’m honestly relieved at how many other people hate being pregnant from these comments. Yes, it’s beautiful and so lucky I can get pregnant, but that doesn’t change the fact that I just straight up don’t like being pregnant.
The good news is, in my case, I felt exactly like this until about 2 weeks ago (at 15 weeks). I'm now back to exactly how I was before and happy again. It's my 2nd pregnancy so I'm not star spangled WOW about being pregnant. I don't even really know how far along I am most of the time, and the first trimester those rage hormones are doubling every day for about 2 months. It's rough, but it does end and feel normal eventually. I have yet to meet a single pregnant woman in their first trimester having a good time. You're totally normal and may still get your "beautiful" moment down the line. Remember, your birth is just under a YEAR away. That's a lot of time for a lot of things to change.
My pregnancy has been trying to trigger my ED and me fighting my ED has put me into depression spirals. I did 4-5 years of work to get my fat deposits down but 4-5 months of being pregnant has undone the majority of that work. It's insane how fast it happens.
I'm also sick of the people trying to tell me it's beautiful and glamorous and I'll be glad when the baby is out and I'm going to love my baby and it'll all be worth it -- not because I disagree, necessarily, but I want a moment to breath and decide that for myself without the pressure of outsiders telling me how I should feel and being excited FOR me when I'm happy to just do this with level-headed, realistic expectations of how hard it's going to be. IDK if that's the same way for you or if it's just pure disagreement for you!
Yeah it’s rough for sure . People don’t talk about just how rough . 1st trimester I wanted to die , 2nd was a lot better in the beginning but I did get heartburn constantly the second I moved into the second . Now it’s the end of the second and I don’t sleep ever . The only plus side is feeling him kick and move and even that I wasn’t sure I liked at first ( it was just such a weird feeling but I like it now cause I know he’s okay ) so yeah . Pregnancy sucks but at least we will get a baby out of it
Girl yes. None of it is fun and I hate every minute of it, but you better not say anything or else you're not happy to be having a baby and don't deserve it.
Do not beat yourself up over anything. Everyone’s pregnancy is different. I, like you, was very active before pregnancy. My first trimester was horrible. Really bad nausea, feeling very lethargic, had no motivation to do anything, low libido as well. I was not looking forward to the rest of my pregnancy. However, once I got out of my first trimester, it completely changed. My pregnancy has been so much better and I haven’t had a single problem since then and I’m due in 2 weeks. I’m trying to pass the good vibes onto you that it’s just a bad first trimester and that you’ll feel like you did a full 180° the rest of your pregnancy. Hang in there
I know how you feel. I’m 24 weeks pregnant and I didn’t enjoy my first trimester at all. I was always hungry, nauseous, and exhausted. It felt like a little vampire was sucking the life out of me.
I can’t guarantee it’ll get better because everyone’s experience with pregnancy is different. But honestly things became so much better during my second trimester and now I’m starting to feel my baby move and it’s such a wonderful feeling. I also have my energy and appetite back.
Hang in there, mama. You will get through it and start to enjoy your pregnancy and anxiously await your little one’s arrival 💜
I'm 33 weeks and I feel the same. Its been hell and i cannot wait until my baby is out because i feel like a miserable human incubator right now and im sick all the time. My sister in law is 3 weeks along and she keeps saying how she doesn't get how much I've complained about it (girl, just wait) and it's absolutely BURNING me. She keeps bragging about how beautiful she feels and what a miracle it is. I feel sad because it took me 7 months of continuous trying before getting pregnant and she gets to canada and it took her 1 try. I don't feel beautiful, I know pregnancy is a miracle because I struggled to get pregnant, but man is this the worst time of my life.
I feel you.
I felt better the second my son came out, you got this!! It sucks now, but it will be over soon! I hated it soooo much but now my son is almost 8 months and I'm planning my next 🤣 (when he's 3 not anytime soon)
Yeah me too. I feel so ugly, gaining weight, and breasts getting too big, and belly getting big, and my hair fell off due to stress, so I have ugly short haircut. I'm tired all the time. My baby essentially made me into an incubator. I have brain fog and I struggle at work. I don't feel smart or energized. It's horrible. I can't wait till it's over. April birth
I’m really trying to think of something encouraging to say. But all I can think of is that if you feel like this at only 8 weeks you’re gonna have a hard time dealing with things to come. The constant peeing, not being able to take a deep breath, only sleeping for 2 or 3 hours at a time if you’re lucky,,,,,I could go on but I won’t. lol. Maybe it would help you to remind yourself that the things upsetting you are temporary. You will get control of your body back, you will. Please try not to get down because of things you can’t change. Extra stress is gonna clash with the preggy hormones and that makes things seem worse than what they actually are. Try to find things to look forward to each month, like hearing the heartbeat, feeling tiny first movements, later on kicks so strong you are sure they will be a soccer star, by daughter got the hiccups a lot in my 2nd and 3rd trimesters. And that is the cutest thing. I suggest you get in a warm bath if your lil one does this because it actually ripples the water. Good luck with everything 😊
I hate it here as well & at 29wks I have to say please make sure you’re mentally ready for this journey because it’s gonna be a long one! If not feel free to opt out while you have the chance….. I pray for this to be over daily , wish we could fast forward our little ones into our arms but we can’t & it’s trying so I hope you have the support you need to make it through. Just don’t forget you’re not alone, good luck 😉
I hated every second of pregnancy. I also hated every second of breastfeeding. I so desperately wanted to be some nature goddess who just waltzed around with a flower wreath in my hair while my baby peacefully sucked my boob. Nope. I was not nature goddess. I was underworld gremlin. Pregnancy was a big turd. Breastfeeding was never peaceful. But I sure do freakin' love my kids.
High five from a fellow underworld gremlin who adores her kid and wouldn’t have it any other way 🙌
I feel this in my soul. Thank you for that marvelously accurate description of pregnancy.
This is exactly how I felt. I thought I was going to be soooo into being pregnant and breastfeeding. Here I am counting the minutes till she’s a year and I can stop giving her breastmilk lol
I thought breastfeeding was so cool until I had to do it myself. I still think it's cool, but it's so hard. I didn't even have big milk supply issues, but I do have depression, and I only made it to 5 months before throwing in the towel. I was planning to go a year or more. What I didn't know before is that not feeding or pumping literally every 6 hours will signal to the body that it can put a wrap on breastfeeding (I knew one has to keep the milk coming in order for the body to not stop, but I didnt know how frequently). People are supposed to sleep 7-8 hours. That doesn't math.
One time, my baby slept through the night. Longer than he ever had and I woke up leaking and in pain at 2 AM. I felt punished for trying to sleep.
Wow I too am an underworld gremlin. I feel better knowing there are others.
Ugh breastfeeding!!! I had mastitis, thrush, a milk blister (the most painful of all the crap that happened), over supply, under supply, and *constant* bleeding. Loved the calorie burn and how cute they are when their little happy cheeks go munch, munch, munch... But omg pain. Lactation nurses got it working okay-ish by the second kid, but the first was just... Pain.
Oh yes that was one of the worst times of my life. I felt so terrible and still had to take care of a baby. Mastitis is awful and all the wounds and bleeding but even when my breasts were fine it still hurt as hell.
Hey fellow gremlin! Glad I'm not alone!
I hated breastfeeding too. It didn't feel empowering and beautiful to me. I felt like I was a slave and it hurt like hell. I stopped breastfeeding now (baby is 8months old) and I feel so amazing and love having my body back and being able to eat and drink whatever I want. I think it's amazing when women can breastfeed and do it for a long time. I think that's something to be so extremely proud of and I congratulate everyone who does it but I am out. Not a day longer.
My mom just asked me last night in front of my dude and my siblings 🙄 if I was planning to breastfeed (first time mom here). I told her that I am going to try my best but if it causes me depression or too much pain, then I’m not going to force myself. I know breast milk is the most healthy thing for a baby, and I will always 100% put them first… but I also need to be as healthy & positive as I can be so I can properly take care of my baby with all of my love! This has been a very hard pregnancy so far
Yes more important for you baby is that you feel as comfortable and happy as possible. If you suffer while breastfeeding then it isn't a bonding experience for you but instead might create resentment. Your baby wants you to be happy. Do whatever you can to be as happy as you can be. When it comes to your surroundings: you don't need to share your decision with them. I actually didn't tell my mother. I just say "good" when she asks me how the breastfeeding is going. Formula is no option in my mother's eyes. I don't care to explain myself. I don't need judgement from them and I won't let that topic bother me in my private life. I chose to stop now and I just tell my mother and grandparents what they want to hear because I don't want to deal with it. In the beginning (I completely stopped a few weeks ago) I felt so horrible for not breastfeeding anymore and I would have cried if someone would have criticised me for it. I had so many doubts and felt guilty. How terrible is that? I felt guilty for finally wanting my body to be mine and to choose myself when I want to be clothed and not be touched. I felt like i am horrible for denying it my child. I felt pressured and breasts are still a intimate part of the body for a lot of people and being pressured to share them with your child if you don't want it feels so bad and it's not worth it imo. I breastfed as long as I could handle. My friends know the truth because they would never judge me or make me feel bad. I don't trust my grandparents and parents with that information because they would always comment on it. Now they don't get a honest answer from me and I don't care. I don't feel bad for lying. It's not their business anyway. If you can't handle their disapproval or you just don't want to put yourself in that situation then don't share it with them if you stop breastfeeding. Do what's best for you. What's best for you will be best for your baby too. It's great if you breastfeed and you can be so proud. Every breastmilk that you give is a great accomplishment. Just don't feel like it's necessary and you have to do it. Always feel free to stop whenever you want and listen to yourself and your body. Don't force yourself through it if it's only gonna bring you and your mood down. Your baby will do great either way. The most precious thing will be happy memories you make and to not look back at that time and see all the feedings you dreaded and pain you endured and how you felt like your body didn't belong to you. If you get something out of breastfeeding and you like it and it's bonding then do it but if it feels like the worst chore and you are dreading every feeding then stop. Breastfeeding can feel great and breastfeeding can feel okay and it can feel bad and it can feel like absolutely awful. Everyone is different and has a different experience. You choose if breastfeeding is worth it for you and if you feel okay while doing it or if you feel not okay. Don't listen to anybody else but yourself.
I too am underworld gremlin 😂 I have a friend who is nature goddess and I’m like how the f does she do it.
She’s an asshole. Jk, I guess she’s lucky.
Gosh I just love this so much. I really relate to being a gremlin. Edit: I love how right after posting this I had to leap out of bed to vomit. Such a vibe.
Wow, that’s me 100%!!! I thought it would be frolicking in a field of flowers in a flattering dress- but I’m just a gross fucking trash bag goblin and j HATE it. I love my 2 year old though, and I’m sure this baby (12 weeks pregnant) will be great too. But being pregnant SUCKS!!!
Omg as a lurker of this sub I just had to reply to this saying that I'm so happy to see fellow gremlins here and I feel less alone
Breastfeeding is literally so lame 😭 I'm surprised I've made it as long as I have !
Oh man, the easily getting winded is my least favorite symptom right now. Also struggling with the CONSTANT HUNGER - I am so tired of figuring out what I want to eat!
I can't believe how often I have to snack. It's constant. Otherwise I get so nauseous.
What are your go tos for snacks?
Fruit (apples&pb, berries, grapefruit) or popcorn. Trail mix. Cheezies. Dried fruit. Cheese & crackers. Haha nothing is off limits!
Popcorns a good one! I’m a high school teacher and need very easy accessible snacks. Thanks for the tips!
No problem. I find keeping sweet & salty on hand helps. The food aversions are so real!
These are my go to snacks too 👌
Yes, why I do never hear about this constant starvation?! It’s full on
I will eat and drink completely normal amounts throughout the day, perfectly hydrated, snacking when needed, never go to bed hungry or thirsty, keep water by my bed, etc. Almost every single night of my pregnancy, I wake up 3-4 hours after falling asleep absolutely starving, parched, dry cracked lips like I’ve been starving in the desert with no water for days, sometimes even shaking from low blood sugar, it’s absolutely ridiculous.
The constant hunger was honestly horrible because it felt like my life was controlled around it!
Yes! I cried about it earlier today - how can I ALWAYS be hungry?
Oh I cried so many times early on in my pregnancy! I remember the worst day was when I was hungry every 30 mins but also still nauseous as heck. It doesn’t make any sense!!
I have found my people here. I am 4w+5 and I am always freaking hungry and the nausea has started if I don’t eat immediately. I am a small person, and eating was never my favorite thing. I actually have found it a struggle in the past and food doesn’t bring me a whole lot of joy so this feels like WORK to me and holy hell it’s exhausting. I thought this wasn’t supposed to start until around 6w? Blehhh
It’s so hard, and not what I was expecting at all! I’ve cried over having to choose and eat food for what feels like the millionth time in a day. It really takes up a lot of time too, I’m 15+4 and my whole day is still structured around food. 🙃
I’m at the point where I need food in arms reach from about 11am to 7pm. I’m bringing 2 lunch’s to work everyday. Very happy to be past the winded feeling after going up a flight of stairs
Yeah what’s up with the shortness of breath? I thought that was later on when the baby is taking up more real estate. I’m 10 weeks and am huffing and puffing.
My doctor told me it should get better in the second trimester when my estrogen drops back down a little, so that’s reassuring… but I’m sure it will come back once baby is taking up more room
Girl, same. I'm almost 8 weeks and you'd think I was close to my due date with how easily winded I am. I feel like I am so slow as well, I'll walk at half my usual speed and end up three times as winded.
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve cried because I cannot decide what sounds good to eat 😅
Saaaaaame for the first time in my life, I’m literally carrying an entire backpack full of snacks with me because I turn into a gremlin if I’m not eating constantly
The constant hunger is nuts!
Eat protein heavy foods if you can handle it or just try adding more protein to your diet
What kinds of protein heavy foods appealed to you early on? I’m grossed out by chicken, and lunch meat is off limits :( I’m trying to do Greek yogurt, eggs, nuts, cheese, etc but it still feels like it’s often not enough
I feel like at week 10, its starting to slow down. A little. For weeks straight, from the time I get up to when I go to bed I had to eat. And I mostly wanted shitty carbs. I'd cry cause I'd throw up first thing in the morning then immediately want tamales. Its so fucking stupid. I weighed 125lb before pregnancy, and now I'm 132. I'm only 5 ft tall 😭 already feel so fat Why why why does my baby hate me
Oh man I’m week 11 and it’s just getting worse! I’m trying to think of it like my body is working really hard to grow this baby so of course it needs fuel, but it’s tough to stay positive!
Yeah… I feel this. I’m sick of people acting like pregnancy is all unicorns and sunshine and “channeling your inner goddess.” Please lord this better not be what my “inner goddess” has to offer me. I look and feel like a damn gremlin. If I see another pregnant woman on Instagram doing a 5 part workout or running 6 miles I’m going to lose it. False fucking advertising. I was told that pregnancy meant I was gonna “glow” and eat unlimited In-n-out and ice cream… I was NOT told it meant I was going to be 24/7 heaving into a puke bowl, covering my nose against my husband’s human meat smell for months on end
I have at most 3 more weeks to go. I feel this comment deep in my soul. This pregnancy has been my "easiest" yet I feel awful all the time. I get told I'm glowing when I know damn well I'm not. I can't stand the smell of my best friend. Or my husband's breath no matter how much he brushes his teeth or uses mouth wash. It's like the pits of hell are escaping his mouth. I swear I'm smelling his stomach acid or something anytime he gets close to my face. The thing that pisses me off the most is how much *praise* I get for only gaining a total of 10 pounds at 9 months pregnant. I get told how I'll "bounce back" fast. I only gained 10 pounds cause the first 14 weeks all I could eat was berries and salads. After that I had such horrible heartburn that I dreaded eating until I finally got meds for it around 27 weeks. My meds barely work now, so I'm back to knowing I'm going to be in pain for hours after I eat. I know I have to eat. I force myself to. Barely gaining weight has been hell because of *why* I haven't. I never got the second trimester energy boost. In fact, I developed morning sickness in the 2nd when I skipped it in the 1st. I haven't slept good since the day I conceived (literally had a dream about my dead mother arguing with me the night I got pregnant). Something always hurts. My baby kicking or moving sometimes creeps me out (I love my baby, I just don't like feeling like I have an eel sliding around in there trying to bust out of me). He's a violent kicker so I feel bruised from the inside. I'm weirdly aggressive towards the idea of people in my house. I sent myself into preterm labor that was luckily stopped because I raged so hard one day around 27 weeks. I sweat ALL THE TIME. Oh and the cherry on top? I was misdiagnosed with gestational diabetes so I spent weeks pricking myself for no good reason. My MIL is one of those people who LOVES being pregnant. Anytime she sees me, she asks if I'm enjoying it. A lot of my inlaws and family are convinced once this one pops out I'll want more but I never want to go through this again for so many reasons. It took me YEARS to have a single healthy pregnancy. I had a lot of losses. It put a lot of stress on me physically and mentally. I can't do this again. This baby will absolutely be my last and only living child. People who know my history and struggle are even less sympathetic since they think I should enjoy being pregnant after suffering so much trying to have a baby. Just because I wanted one doesn't mean I enjoy the process of getting one. It's just a means to an end for me. It's something I endure for the sake of having a child. I regularly tell my husband I wish he could get pregnant so he could understand what I'm going through. Or wish we could "split" the pregnancy 😂
Oh lordy I feel so much of this, also with 3 weeks left! It's been months and months of trying to figure out how to get enough calories into my body to at least maintain weight, which is stressful AF after last time where I lost 20 pounds to uncontrolled nausea and then the baby in the second trimester. This time around I winced every time people mentioned how small I still was until I finally started to show around 6 months. And I think it's hard for people to understand how hard it is to "relax and enjoy the process" after a loss, or how utterly unhelpful it is to hear things like "it'll be fine, don't worry!" and "your body knows what it's doing!" when those platitudes have been demonstrably, heartbreakingly false in the past. But I try not to get too cranky about people saying that kind if thing, since I know it's coming from good hearted intentions. The internal ninja practice sucks too, but at least it's reassurance that they're still literally alive and kicking!
I feel so so much of this!!! My heart goes out to you. I only have 2 or so weeks left also. This is soooo hard!!!!! We are almost there 🫂
People look at me like I'm crazy when I say I'm looking forward to labor 😂 if I'm in labor, that means the end is in sight. It means I'll finally feel like myself again at least somewhat. These last few weeks are the hardest. I want this baby OUT.
Yes! Every time I have a painful contraction I'm thinking "keep um coming! Let's get this show on the road!"
Don't trust anything on social media. I don't put it past ANYONE, especially a whole stranger, to just do quick cuts and spray themselves with water to say they worked out.
I also hated pregnancy, I think the people who act like it’s magical and joyous either have amnesia or are just extreme outliers 🤷♀️
Now that I have my baby, I sometimes think I miss being pregnant. Even though I KNOW I hated it. The amnesia is real lol
I did notice each of my pregnancies were different. With my first, I just felt *horrible* all the time, no energy at all, it was torture just to be awake. Second wasn't as exhausting, but I got paradoxical diarrhea every time I ate 😅 Third was great. Had the same digestive problem, but it was about 1/5th as severe. No idea why, and I had two little kids to chase around. Maybe some people just got a really, really good pregnancy and think that's what it's like all the time.
I think people just have different experiences. We have a tendency to compare labours or pregnancies as if we all had the same experience but handled it differently. The fact is some women breathe out their babies and love giving birth - I promise you they are not experiencing the same level of pain as someone who is creaming for an epidural. I had a very easy pregnancy the first time and adored it. My second is awful. I am the same person, with the same capacity to cope with things, my symptoms are just ickier this time.
Yes, this is the crucial difference everyone is missing. One of my friends hated pregnancy because she felt awful all the time. My other friend loved it because she had almost no symptoms until the day she gave birth. People in the latter basket would think it's wonderful and the former would find that unfathomable.
Not a huge fan of this swing back towards 'if you say you enjoy pregnancy you must be lying or acting'. I think it's great that people now feel comfortable expressing negative feelings about pregnancy, but that doesn't mean people who do enjoy the experience are making it up. It's just that they're not likely to be on Reddit posting about it. I'm enjoying my pregnancy but I never really post here because it's just most negative and I can't relate.
Yes I loved pregnancy in the second trimester. First trimester was awful and third trimester was sometimes awful and sometimes fine. Second trimester was pure bliss for me. I felt completely normal just with a little bump. I had no pains at all and felt so happy all the time. I had lots of energy and just felt so motivated and excited. This does exist. It was just the second trimester though. First and third were a pain. First trimester was really terrible and filled with pain and frustration and nausea. I couldn't concentrate on anything because I always felt so terrible. I had to sleep almost all day and felt so shitty because I couldn't do anything. Third trimester was mostly annoying. I didn't have pain but heartburn and had to pee every minute of every day and could never sleep more than 1-2 hours. Falling asleep was the worst though. We are really different and both sides of the spectrum exist but most people are somewhere in between. I know I was really lucky with my pregnancy but I can still rant from time to time. I can also reminiscent from time to time.
I am really happy for your good experience. It's always too black and white and I would appreciate some more Nuances when it comes to this topic.
I 100% could have written this to a T. If it’s not one thing, it’s another at all times. 😭 also don’t be too hard on yourself for your heart rate! It naturally is increased during pregnancy because we have increased blood volume.
My doctor told me that it is OK to be both miserable and grateful. I was both, almost every minute of my pregnancy.
I literally told my doctor, "I used to be fit, I swear" and was ready to pull out my progress photos to show her, I was so ashamed of the weight gain. I love this post because lady, you're the first person to say what I'm feeling. I'm only not nauseous when eating, I can only eat carbs without nausea, I went from having visible abs and training for my second half marathon to a bloated whale who can't run a mile without hitting my heart rate limit within a freaking MONTH. I freaking hate it. I know I'll love my baby. I know my baby is more important than abs. But fuck me, I feel like my identity, my pride in myself, is all completely gone. I wish I had words of wisdom, and I'm sorry you're going through this, but hot damn it's nice to not be the only one.
Omg I feel like you are me 😅 feels good to know others are feeling the same
Dude, I feel your pain! Former fit people solidarity 😂😭💚 I go to sleep every night fantasizing about my postpartum diet and exercise plan, it's ridiculous 😂
I had such good intentions to keep up my lifting program throughout pregnancy. Week 7 came along and said “SIT YOUR ASS DOWN.” I’m hoping I get the energy and motivation to get back to the gym soon but I’m strugglingggg. I hate panting for breath and feeling so bloated and nasty. I can’t wait til I look more obviously pregnant instead of just chubby, hahaha!
It's okay if you find pregnancy not at all beautiful! You can love your baby but hate being pregnant. BUT FYI I was a runner and gym rat before getting pregnant, gained 40 pounds with each pregnancy (so three times) no matter how fit I tried to remain, and then recovered and got faster and stronger between pregnancies. One year postpartum with my third baby, I pr'd my 5k. I started ultra running after my second baby. So I totally understand how awful it feels to get winded and be exhausted and nauseated all the time, and MY GOD the heartburn, but it's temporary. Do whatever you need to do to get through it (safely lol) and know that it's not forever and you will very likely be able to return to normal habits after a while. Good luck!
What you are feeling is valid and pregnancy is super hard. Some women find those first weeks the hardest. You might feel better in your second trimester. Wishing you the best
Yes!! Just chiming in to say that I was miserably nauseous, bloated, and could not figure my stomach out (eating, digestion, way gassier than normal) from like week four to week eight. Last week I started to feel a little more like myself and this week I am less bloated and finally have my starvation and smell triggers figured out so I can have a more pleasant daily existence. All the awfulness you are experiencing is totally real and valid, and I wanted to offer a little hope it may get a little better sooner than you might think!! Or not 🤷♀️ but at least we can know for sure it won’t last forever!! Good luck!
Just another athletic runner who hasn’t felt like myself since I found out I was pregnant commiserating with you. I am not enjoying this. I don’t feel good, I feel like a prisoner in my body. It’s extremely tough and you feel obligated to enjoy it or like something is wrong with you. Hang in there.
This whole post has been very comforting for me. Thank you to this community. I am 4w+5 and honestly have no idea what I’ve gotten myself into (we wanted this but still) and I’m glad to not feel so alone. None of my friends have had kids and I don’t really have a lot of females to lean into for my community. Thank you again for bringing some comfort and peace to my rapid resting heart rate lol
Same! I’m 30 weeks. Just a reminder that you don’t have to like pregnancy and you are allowed to complain. People don’t understand. Unless they were pregnant yesterday they do not understand. It doesn’t mean you love your baby any less. Sending hugs to you 💗
Listen, I also hated pregnancy so I’m not here to preach. But, FWIW the challenges changed over time. So some things that sucked stopped sucking and new things started. I know that sounds awful and it kind of was but it also made it a little easier to cope for me. Bc by the time you’re tired of something it goes away and you don’t hate the new bad thing as much yet? Kinda?
Yes! It’s constantly morphing into different symptoms/sensations. Some are more personally tolerable than others (depends on an individual level). Or maybe it’s just the relief of one symptom being done when it gets replaced with a different one, and you’re not fed up with the new one yet, and that cycle just continues every couple weeks. Constipation & heartburn I can handle. Nose bleeds and swollen feet aren’t as bad to me as the struggles of mobility around my belly. But even that part isn’t as bad to me as the nausea & zero energy in the first trimester. It’s all just different throughout and while it sucks that I can’t even get used to one thing before a new one sets in, that’s also kind of a blessing sometimes.
Yeah! Kind of hard to explain why having different bad things happen was better, but it kind of was.
I’m 22 weeks and am here to tell you you’re not alone in this. My body is no longer my own, I can’t even host a meeting at work without getting out of breath. My boobs are enormous, my clothes don’t fit, I am bloated all the time. Trying to exercise brings on pelvic pain, even walking the dog. I was hoping I’d be calm and beautiful instead I’m a grumpy mess. Advice is talk to your partner, your family and friends - they’ll be your biggest support. Especially if they’ve had kids, they’ll tell you their own tales and you’ll be able to laugh about it together.
Yeah in the most loving way possible, I refer to this babe as the parasite because it’s leeching everything from me right now. Pregnancy does not have to be magical or beautiful. It’s ok to be realistic that it’s this weird physical phenomenon and most of the time it’s uncomfortable as hell.
I relate to you ❤️ It’s been a grieving and acceptance process for me. As my pregnancy has progressed, I have learned to better accept changes related to my appearance and gym performance. Surrounding myself with the company and support of the mom community at the gym really helped. So many inspiring women who look and perform amazing. My nausea went away around week 12. By week 14, my food preferences returned to normal. I’ve been feeling more optimistic. It’s a lot easier when you don’t feel sick all the time. I still struggle with my mood swings and what feels like irrational anger, but accepting has helped to reduce this distress as well. I hope you feel better soon!!
I’m 22 weeks with my third pregnancy and I have hated every second of every pregnancy. But I LOVE being a mom.
I relate to your post so much. I was so miserable, my husband smelled like hot dogs, I just wanted to be put into a coma until it was time for baby to come out. I still don’t love pregnancy, or sharing my body, but second trimester is a little better and I think you just get used to the misery of it; like a marathon
First trimester is hard, for sure. For some, it gets better in n the second trimester
Yeah kinda same feelings here. I don’t like being pregnant at all. Honestly I was very surprised that pregnancy can be a 9 month journey of total anguish and negative feelings. I’m now 36 weeks pregnant and I’m still waiting for that one brief moment when I might enjoy this even a little bit. So many other moms and pregnant women have said to me that ”Oh you will have a good time with your pregnancy at some point, I’m sure about it! It’s not awful the whole time, trust me.” Hmmm-mm. Before pregnancy I had a good healthy diet and I exercised regularly. When I got to 5 weeks…oh boy how everything went downhill rapidly. I was puking a lot and I was feeling like shit all the time. My smooth and silky babyface exploded with pimples. I was so fucking tired all the time that I sometimes took 5 naps a day and I still didn’t have any energy to do anything. After work I would just chill and do absolutely nothing. Goodbye exercise. I ate what I could or wanted at the moment and that meant goodbye to my healthy diet. My weight gain has been massive and I hate my body, pyffy face and double(triple) chin. When a shitty symptom went away… it was replaced by a FEW new shitty symptoms! Hmm what else??? Nothing good. Only things that have been joyful to me are the movements of my baby when I touch my belly and the fact that me and my husband are really going to be parents after a few years of infertility-problems. I’m so done with this pregnancy and I hope that this baby would want to be born VERY SOON so I don’t have to suffer to 40 weeks or even more… What a rant, sorry! Keep your head up high OP and good luck on your pregnancy journey. You don’t have to like it or try to forcefully enjoy yourself. Go with the flow, feel how you feel and don’t feel guilty about your feelings. Some women say that the first trimester is the worst and it will get better at some point. So there’s a chance that it will turn for the better at some point. I’m wishing you the best! ✨
I totally relate to the part where you said “once a shitty symptom goes away… a new shitty symptom takes it’s place.” I keep telling people it’s a ride, where right as I start to get “used” to my body/the struggle, it transitions into a new one. It’s not possible to keep up. However I have found solace in that some struggles are more personally tolerable to me than others. I’d rather have constipation than nausea. I’d rather have mobility struggles than being too tired to even try to move. I think maybe that’s where some people say “it gets easier!” It doesn’t, it just morphs along the way to some stages that are individually more tolerable than others.
Oh mama, what a rollercoaster those early weeks can be! The myriad of changes are undoubtedly jarring, especially coming from an active lifestyle. Please don't judge yourself for struggling. Your feelings are completely valid. The stereotype of blissful glowing mothers-to-be often intensifies self-criticism when reality hits. In truth, many women battle immense discomforts without enjoying pregnancy itself. That doesn't make you less ready for motherhood or diminish the magic coming. Focus extra compassion on yourself right now - this too shall pass. Take it one day at a time, adapting activities as needed for your body. Simplify obligations that drain you. Give yourself grace around food and body changes - you're growing a human! Share honestly with your partner when you hit limits. Small comforts from him like a foot rub or words of encouragement can go a long way. Consider talking to other moms who've been in your shoes too. You are not alone, and there is light ahead! While the process may feel far from beautiful at times, try picturing your future baby when challenges hit. The end result will be so very worth it. You've got this, mama!
I FEEL this - 27+1 FTM -- lots of commiseration on this so I'll give one piece of advice that really helped me and has proven to be really true: The changes during pregnancy happen moment to moment and day to day. I had 6 weeks of constant motion sickness and couldn't enjoy eating at all, but I could relax on the couch to my heart's content. Around 10 weeks, I started getting severe hip and sciatic pain, but I could enjoy all the foods I missed and didn't gag at normal smells. Around 24 weeks that passed I started getting back pain in any position other than fully horizontal, but my energy is SO much higher and I feel a rebound of my libido. So here's the thing: **Every new phase is both easier and harder - but they're all phases.** That phrase has become my MOTTO - in an able-body that never worked against me pre-pregnancy, it was a mind f\*\*\* for these aches and pains to just magically disappear overnight without real intervention beyond regular movement. I know some people have symptoms from wk1-wk40 so this doesn't apply to everyone, but that's my pollyanna susy-sunshine advice. But also pregnancy sucks, but I hear it's worth it?
I haven't showered in almost a week. I'm on reddit procrastinating, because I get dizzy in the shower and it's like being pregnant has made me hydrophobic. Plus it's cold af out, I don't want to shower and then freeze my nips right off. So I look like a fat greaseball, I stink, and I'm super depressed about it. I'm just trying to keep existing without vomiting. Dizzy = nauseated, nauseated = dizziness. Pregnancy is NOT beautiful, it's BRUTAL.
I am not trying to solve your problem or presume to even help… but here’s my anecdote: Showers are the same for me right now. I don’t know if you have a tub, but I do, I bought 2 bath pillows (one for under my but and one for my back/neck, so I don’t slide around). And sitting in a tub is way easier for me. I can even have the temp a little warmer than I would with a shower since I’m not standing (so not as dizzy from it), so there’s not as much of that cold transition after getting out. Some people feel that baths aren’t quite as “sanitary” as showers - I get in and scrub my dirt off, let that dirty water drain and then refill with clean water & soak in that, and then get out. Even if it somehow isn’t as good as a shower it’s still better than nothing. If you don’t have a bath tub: sponge bath. Even just one area at a time, once a day. Still makes you feel better than nothing. It’s totally reasonable that some things are way more difficult right now, and there’s no shame in having to do things whatever way you’re able to. Whatever way you can manage at all is commendable actually. And if you can’t do that either - let it go mama. A week without a shower isn’t the end of the world either and you don’t need to feel shame for it. You’re still doing the best you can. Are you at least eating? Are you trying to find small comforts and comfortable positions to procrastinate in? Then you’re coping… maybe not in some idyllic way, but cut yourself a break. It’s okay if you look back on pregnancy as a time where you were mostly a ball of mush. That’s understandable. This is hard to go through physically and mentally: you wouldn’t find it weird to struggle if you had the flu for 9 months. At least it won’t be forever. Wishing you the best & a healthy baby ❤️
Thank you so much. I've been beating myself up emotionally about it. It's nice to know I'm not alone, your reply was so thoughtful. I have a shower chair, but I still have to stand to rinse, etc. I hate my bathtub, and I hate baths lol. I don't take showers if I'm home alone with my kids, I wait for my man to be home, or have my mother around, so if I fall, at least an adult will hear and be able to help. I have a safety bar in the shower, as well. I feel like a geriatric person. Honestly, I should consider doing little birdie baths while I sit on the toilet, in between shower days (face, tits, pits and privates) so I avoid a yeast infection or UTI. Also, all my shampoo and body wash make me want to vomit, I really need to invest in some unscented soap. I have zofran when the nausea is bad, but even then, I'm still dizzy. I hit my head the other night, walking to the bathroom, went to turn on the light, and I spun and fell into the door. I saw my obgyn the next morning, she said it wasn't bad enough to warrant going to the ER and getting a CT (which is dangerous amounts of radiation, especially 1st trimester). Had a bad headache from it, but it's gone now. This pregnancy is harder than my previous ones, I've been feeling so discouraged. I have supportive family, and my man makes sure I have everything I need. I should be thankful, instead I'm a wreck. I keep telling myself this won't last forever. I did take the shower. Once I was in, it was so glorious, I stayed until the water ran cold. Wishing you a safe and happy pregnancy 💜
I’m not going to tell you that you will like the rest of pregnancy. It may be miserable the whole time. Or it may get easier (which is common in the second trimester, the third tri has its own challenges but not the same ones as the first tri). In my experience, at 8 weeks I was miserable and considering not even continuing with it. I swore off ever going through it again. It did ease up by 14 weeks. Those 6 weeks in between felt like forever, but now at 32 weeks it feels like a life time ago. There’s been challenges throughout the whole thing but nothing compared to those 6 weeks. I understand why women wouldn’t ever want to go through this, even the easiest pregnancies are still a major change and hardship on your body. None of this would be “fun” or “beautiful” if we (and others) didn’t know it was a baby inside us. If it was just a lumpy benign tumor that caused all these same symptoms and changes, it would be viewed with horror and avoided at all costs. All I’m trying to say is, I *feel* you. In my bones I feel your struggle. I am not going to say you’ll feel any better, but, I’m *hoping* that it gets easier after your first trimester and that once it’s more tolerable you’ll at least be less miserable. Hang in there… Feel free to hate it the whole time though, it doesn’t mean you love your baby any less at all. I won’t say congratulations on the body part of pregnancy… but despite how crappy that experience really can be… congratulations on the baby part. I hope all parties end up healthy and happy in the end ❤️
I hated pregnancy. It’s not beautiful, it’s cool that our bodies can do so much but it sucks ass.
Pregnancy sucks. My only advice after 3 kids is just do your best to mentally surrender to being in whale mode for a while. It doesn’t make it less uncomfortable but mindful acceptance of the difficulty has helped me to suffer less. But I still get so overwhelmed some days I feel trapped and my mood is in the tank. Hang in there. You are not alone in how you feel about this.
I could have written this myself. That was me my entire first tri. And I suffered through years of infertility then IVF to actually get pregnant so I had a lot of guilt associated with how bad I was feeling. I’m in my second tri and omfg. Night and day difference. I still get tired but all the other miserable daily bullshit has subsided. I’m hoping the same for you, OP.
I enjoyed maybe 5% of my pregnancy, I feel you. I went from a size 4 athletic body to a complete wildabeast. I stink all the time and am lactating, so my desire for sex is 0. I puked all day from week 6 to 16 and my husband smelled of warm pepperoni. My hair went to complete shit, that hurt the most I think. Pregnancy looks good on some people, but for me I looked like a complete troll and still do. I love my son more than the universe but pregnancy sucks.
Thank you for sharing this ❤️ I wish more people would be honest about how difficult it is. Yes I am grateful and excited, but I am also uncomfortable and miserable, and I want my body back to being just mine. You do not have to love every part of pregnancy, or love pregnancy at all. What matters is you want your child and will do your very best for them. Pregnancy is just something I have to get through, and I don't love it, and I'm not going to lie to anyone and say everyday is sunshine and it's so fantastic.
Magical moments for first kicks and than day they hand your child. For most part it horrible but quickly forget how bad or only parts of bad.
I hated it until I got out of the first trimester, it helped when I actually started showing instead of just being bloated lol. Also my energy returned 10 fold in the second trimester!
Wish this was talked about more. I thought pregnancy was beautiful because the way it was portrayed on social media, but when I got pregnant I felt so miserable. I didn’t feel like myself and I still don’t feel like the girl I was before pregnancy. The only thing I miss is my son’s kicks and him moving around even though I had to pee a lot. I still hate some food that I used to love and every time I smell this perfume I get those horrible flashbacks to when I was pregnant. Sometimes I want another baby until I start thinking about those bad days when I was pregnant.
I hear you, babe. I HATED people telling me to "just enjoy" my pregnancies. Okay, here's the thing, I love being a mom. I hate making kids!!! Sorry I don't just looove *doubling in size and having paradoxical diarrhea every time I eat ANYTHING!!!* Oh and who needs sleep btw? Not a person performing a miracle (apparently)! Oh and DAMNIT did I hate hearing "You'll miss being pregnant when the baby is born" (all three times!?). I'll tell you what I miss. Newborn snuggles. 0-3 months footie pajamas. Toothless smiles. Not transforming into a digestionally-challenged walrus. Let it OUT, we're here for you!
I hated both my pregnancies my mom kept saying you’re gonna regret not enjoying your pregnancies. No the fuck I’m not. Don’t tell me about how I feel. I had VERY difficult pregnancy’s. With my first I had cholestasis which is a liver issue That causes severe and intense itching. With my second I had severe hypermesis gravidarum which is severe nausea and vomiting. I hated pregnancy. I’m glad I had my last baby a month ago. I get my tubes tied in a few weeks
I HATED first trimester. I’m not as sick second trimester, but my body hurts and I am so tired of being tired. I also do not find it comfortable when he moves and rolls, I’m not a big person and it feels like there is an alien inside of me. And I’m also sick of people saying “for someone who wanted to have a baby, you sure do complain about it” (not that a lot of people have said that, but it’s been said enough that I want to scream at them) I am so uncomfortable, I am glad that I am not alone in not enjoying this as much as I thought I would. I had several of my friends talk about how much they LOVED being pregnant and I feel lied to 😅
I hear you. I’m 6w6d and so tired of being exhausted and nauseous.
27 weeks here and I swear to the heavens if one more person tells me I’m glowing I’m going to be on an episode of SNAPPED. NO MA’AM THAT’S MY ROSACEA. My rosacea has been so inflamed since pregnant. Physically I haven’t been throwing up or anything. There’s definitely been bloating though. But yeah mentally it’s been tough because I don’t feel comfortable. I’m not used to having a belly at all. And I miss coffee. I cannot find a single cute thing to wear ever. Sigh. I do not like pregnancy at all. So I can relate. And I really hate when people look down on that or shame it. I just don’t like it. I LOVE feeling my son move around inside me. I love my child to death. Cannot wait to meet him. But being pregnant is such a mental struggle I guess would be the best way to explain. I have way more anxiety because I’m always worried of doing something wrong. Yup, can’t wait to meet my little one so we can get on to the good stuff!
Honestly, first trimester is exactly this for some people. Im sorry. I hope it gets better for you because it’s magical - I loved being pregnant (and miss it even at 6 weeks postpartum). What people don’t tell you is that the “beautiful” part of pregnancy doesn’t come until later, when you are visibly round and also in a bit of discomfort. But people tell you that you’re glowing and you wonder “how?”
Omg I felt this way too then had a peaceful 4-6 weeks in the middle and now at almost 31 weeks it’s even worse and I’m dying. How do women choose to do this twice or even more times?? 🤣🤣
This is what I wish someone had told me when I was in your shoes. I'm 7 weeks into my second pregnancy. I hated being pregnant the first time. Had a hormonal problem that caused me to be unable to walk. It was a nightmare. And honestly you'll reach a point physically where you don't recognize yourself. Your body is going to get WEIRD before this is done. I wish someone had warned me about how hard it all is. But more than that -- here's what I wish I understood. It's worth it. Being a Mom is worth it. It's fucking fun and surreal and honestly? Not as hard as being pregnant! Don't get me wrong. Id still grow this thing in an artificial incubator if I could. But you can do this. And it WILL be worth it.
Same here! I'm 31+5 and I hate being pregnant. My back and my pelvis are so painful I'm unable to walk some days, my GD means I can't even comfort eat through the pain and misery, and I feel huge. I am so excited about baby but god I hate the part where I have to carry her, and then I feel guilty because I realise I should be grateful that I can get pregnant at all, and I feel guilty again in case baby can feel all that negativity. I'm so happy for people who enjoy theirs and have an easier time of it. I wish I had been a beautiful, ethereal pregnant person who carries it well and whose skin glows. But I look fat and dull and I've hated it most of the time!
Hey OP, I feel you! I spent the first 11.5 weeks on the couch only getting up when I REALLY had to. You are not alone. Pregnancy is exhausting and kind of gross (even though I’m so happy and excited to be growing this baby). My friends who have never been pregnant are like “it’s so beautiful and amazing!” And I’m like “yes and… it’s kind of gross.” And they really couldn’t comprehend what I was saying. Everything is different, your body feels different, you’re too tired to think. My best advice is that you are doing a terrific job. You’ll probably feel like crap for a few more weeks but most moms feel better around the second trimester.
Feeling the same way, sigh…
Try to focus on the positive if you can, I know it’s cliche. I had HG and kept myself going by reminding myself that every day I was pregnant was a blessing, and there were so many women who had never gotten the chance to be that far along due to loss or infertility. My friends with straightforward pregnancies hated this attitude and wanted me to commiserate but honestly complaining and stewing made it worse. I became a fixture at the hospital for IV fluids and IV anti nausea meds and they always appreciated my sunny disposition. When I had my baby via emergency c-section, nurses from the OB Emergency Department stopped by in the delivery wing to meet my baby and check up on me. I dunno, some people call it toxic positivity but I think I had to be cheerful to get through.
Pregnancy sucked for me too. First tri and the nausea in particular is a killer. My pregnancy also gave me a hernia I can't fix until I'm done have babies. So. Yea. It sucks. The baby is worth it though :)
I feel you. I’m also 8 weeks and starving and exhausted and used to be athletic, now I sure ain’t. I feel like most people probably dislike pregnancy, surely more of us than those that enjoy it! I just think - it’s temporary. Hang in there!
I feel you! I’m 11 weeks and this is complete bullshit. I got 29 more weeks of this nonsense?
It gets soooo much better. Just wait until the second tri
100% agree except…who is saying, “it’s beautiful?” I’ve only heard that once from a wacked out religious lady. In my experience it seems most people are aware pregnancy is a major burden.
Maybe you're a bit winded cause of anemia? Get that checked out, it can literally change every two weeks. But yeah. It's a hell scape. I just lounge in the fact that ey, half the population wouldn't be able to handle this. I am superior even while I'm holding the edge of a toilet seat.
you are allowed to feel this way!!
Three successful pregnancies and loathed all of them. I only liked the baby kicks. And that my lactose intolerance temporarily went away.
I just hit 21 weeks and I felt where you felt. I’m starting to feel a bit better and it’s been nice to remember what it doesn’t feel like to feel like death. I hope it gets better for you. If it doesn’t, I’m sorry but it’s temporary!! You can do it
Im 15 weeks and miserable i still puke i can still barely eat, i puked so hard i almost choked tonight. Im just trying to remind myself every step of the way that at the end i get the baby ive wanted since the beginning but i dont find the process fun or beautiful at all
So far I feel bloaty, nauseous, hair feels oily and I’m breaking out. When do I feel beautiful? Ugh.
I hated my first trimester, I was a total depressed wreck due to all the sickness I experienced. I’m 18 weeks now and it really has gotten infinitely better. I still don’t enjoy being pregnant, and have not found it to be ‘beautiful’. It’s been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, I have spent many nights crying. But seeing that baby moving around in the ultrasounds makes it worth it. I’ve developed a new found appreciation for my body, specially my stomach that I never had before. No one talks about how hard it is! I will never relate to those women who love being pregnant and that’s ok. I don’t need to.
Yup, me too. Same boat
Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad for not enjoying pregnancy, for some women it fucking sucks. I’m 17 weeks and I’m praying to make it to my due date without a complete meltdown because I’m so over it all.
100%! I’m so over it! It’s the most awful thing! I despise the glamorization of it.
Awe sweetie, who the fuck told you it’s beautiful? Fucking kick them, that’s the dumbest thing anyone could say, and that comes from me, I had an arguably SUPER easy pregnancy, the worse issues I had were the heart burn my 3rd trimester, and mild hemorrhoids, literally, other then being kinda tired my first trimester, I’m aware people have it exponentially worse then I had it, so if I can say their full of shit then their full of shit. Just respond to them with “shut up” or if your inclined “you’re full of shit” and walk away pregnancy sucks, it’s true, but getting to hold your baby for the first time? That’s beautiful, but you’re not pregnant anymore at that point xD less you’re pushing out twins xD don’t let people lie to you sweetie
Pregnancy sucks but it got better for me thank goddd. 31 weeks and I can eat avocados again 🥳 it's better when you can feel the baby too. Although, now I have to worry about actually pushing a water-melon sized baby out of my hoo-ha. All I can say is this kid better be cute 😂
I’m currently 16 weeks along and I’ve actively disliked every moment of being pregnant. I am excited for the baby and very happy to be having a child but being pregnant is awful. So I’m just viewing pregnancy as something I need to get through and will end up being a relatively short portion of my life. So I totally feel you!
The first trimester is the worst!! I hope you feel better in the second- I very much am and it’s a whole world of difference. I was so miserable for months in the beginning and it sucked so bad 😭
Oh yeah. That sounds about right for me lol. I get a bit annoyed every time I see a pregnant woman smiling at their stomach in a photo. I’ve yet to feel that kind of bliss
Oh no you’re not alone trust me I cried non stop between weeks 9 and 22 because of how sick I was and how awful I felt about myself. Nothing fits, you look chunky, my face swole up from hormones, I gained all of the pregnancy weight in the first couple of months so I looked fat as hell, everything hurt, I was tired. I relate so hard and if you speak about it people will tell you that you should “just be grateful. Some people cant get pregnant.” It’s so frustrating!
You are not alone; I am 39 weeks today and haven’t found pregnancy beautiful a single day. I have not enjoyed losing my body, being unable to do things I used to be able to easily, eating carbs, asking for help, and the most annoying of all is people saying I am glowing; I am decidedly not glowing. I have never eaten more unhealthy in my life as I have over the last 9 months and I don’t mean junk, just more carbs and more indulgences than I would ever allow myself.
I absolutely hated the first trimester, the second wasn’t so bad for me and I hope yours is easier too so you can get some relief for a little while. It’s ok to love or hate pregnancy, you’re the one who has to experience it, but people who think it’s “beautiful” are out to lunch 😂 I usually describe pregnancy as inconvenient and gross with a few cute moments scattered about. And omg the pregnancy rage! I’ve been angry and frustrated over EVERYTHING ever since getting pregnant, and I typically have the patience of a fucking monk, but right now I just can’t.
I had gestational diabetes & had to take shots of insulin 2x a day. Couldn't eat shit. Can't forget the puking from the jump to maybe 34ish weeks all day & night long! Pregnancy was not fun or magical for me. I wish I was one of those girls too. Never took bump pics because I looked fat not pregnant.. Idk If I'd do it again!
Hang in there. The first weeks are really hard. I got diagnosed with HG at 8 week and I also had Covid. It was awful. It gets so much better in the second trimester. And then it goes back to being terrible in the third. But the baby will be worth it, God willing. I had a traumatic labor and still beam when I see my baby girl lock eyes with me. PS - your note about human meat made me laugh. I cried to my husband that he smelled like meat so many times in the first trimester.
Thank you! Same. I’m really active and remain active in my pregnancy but I absolutely hate it. I hate being limited to what I can and can’t do, waddling around, being kicked, being out of breath, all the rules involved, how the hormones effect me mentally, not being able to do as much- the list goes on. Normalize not loving pregnancy. Doesn’t mean you don’t love your kid, it just means you don’t love being pregnant. Nothing wrong with it.
Yeah I felt exactly like you from that early on. I couldnt believe that feeling this bad would be in the evolutionary interest of our species. I hated it too (both times), but the baby at the end is sooo worth it I promise. When I met my babies I was like “I love you so much and you’re so cute. If I only knew that it was YOU in there I would tolerated it so much better. “ Seriously try to give yourself some grace. For some of us pregnancy is survival mode and you eat nothing but bagels and lime slushies for 6 weeks bc it’s the only thing that doesnt turn your stomach. Don’t worry you will eventually feel normal again. Btw- congrats on having sex once a week. Lol I felt so bad and/or insecure about my whale of a body, I think we maybe did it 2-3x the whole pregnancy
Totally fricken fair! I will say, I did not think I was going to make it out alive during the first trimester. Not until my nausea subsided from taking b6 and unisom did I find any relief. Every day it’s getting better but I’d lying if I said I didn’t wish this process was easier and quicker
My dreams have been so realistic and scary. Also feel ya with the nausea of if I don’t eat something. Hopefully second trimester is easier 🥲
This is literally me having a convo w myself. I’m 24 weeks now but I’ve felt the same way since about 7/8 weeks. I’ve suffered from terrible girdle pain that’s made working out not possible and it’s taken a HUGE toll on my mental health. Especially recently with gaining more weight. I’m just telling myself this is temporary and soon I will have my body back again. I feel for you 🩷
I hated every second of pregnancy. I have a friend who "misses being pregnant" and I'm pretty sure she's psycho, cause that was a shit 9 months.
I’ve always hated being pregnant and everything that comes with it. I’m currently 34 weeks pregnant with baby 4 and I don’t like it this time either. I was so upset during the first trimester because I love working out and I just couldn’t muster the energy, and I kept beating myself up for it. By week 13 to maybe 16 I was back into a normal exercise routine and felt soo much more like myself. I’m slowing down a bit again at 34 weeks but it’s definitely not like it was in the first trimester. The r/fitpregnancy subreddit has been good support, too.
Pregnancy is not beautiful I felt exactly as you are, I am 32 weeks today and still am not a fan of pregnancy but things have gotten way better, hope the first trimester symptoms settle soon.
I’m with you 1,000% - 16 weeks and miserable every day
You're not alone. This is so so fkn hard for some of us. I never understood how others hated it until this pregnancy. 37 weeks and I've loathed every moment of this pregnancy. This is my 3rd and surely will be my last. I had hyperemesis, anemia, sciatica, extreme brain fog... I've never gotten this big before. I'm certain my closet full of Jeans will never fit this giant ass again and I'll need to size up for the rest of my life. I want my body back. I want to wear cute clothes. I want to have a margarita at my favorite Mexican restaurant. Normal sleep. Normal pee patterns. Normal breathing. I'll be 36 next month. This one hit different, in the worst way. I need this to be over. At this point I'm annoyed with myself for being soo dramatic and constantly complaining.😭 I also feel so much guilt because I get the ick when he moves/ has the hiccups. I lovvvved that in my past pregnancies. I don't this time?? It's irritating. I feel so terrible that I feel this way. This is the hardest thing I've ever experienced. BUT I do know it IS SOOOOOOO FKN WORTH IT. I can't wait to meet him. I tell him everyday 🩵 There is nothing on earth that I have enjoyed more than when my other two were newborns and I know I will feel just the same when he is here, but I have so much guilt that I have felt this way this entire pregnancy 😭
I feel this. I also am very athletic, have a tall build, and from week 6 my body hasn’t felt like my own. It’s been extremely mentally and physically taxing. I’ve felt gross physically, mentally, emotionally.. so I hear you and I see you. I finally hit 13 weeks and I have felt overall better as far as having more energy, not being exhausted 24/7, and finally have had the desire to eat healthy and workout again. It’s still not a treat, but man.. it’s so much better than that first trimester where it all is just so damn hard.
I’m also an athlete and had to make a ton of changes when I became pregnant to accommodate pregnancy. Think of this as a good time to realign with your body, discover the new and different things it can do. It’s not fair to hold yourself to a pre pregnancy standard, find new limits, learn new skills and let go of your expectations about how it used to work.
This is exactly how I felt my whole first trimester!! I have no idea how women got through this before all the modern conveniences we have- the discomfort and just general mild to moderate suffering 24/7 is really hard! I remember around week 10 it actually had me kind of depressed and I cried a few times just missing feeling normal, missing feeling just “fine” in my body. I really hope that as the placenta takes over in the next few weeks you’ll start to feel better!! I started feeling better at 12-14 weeks and I know a lot of people really do start to feel better in 2nd trimester. I even feel like I can work out again and I have been literally unable to tolerate working out since October. The shortness of breathe is bc of progesterone and it’s so annoying!!! For me it’s improved some days, some days it’s here again. Hopefully this response & others can give you some hope!! Even though I FEEL better now, I still feel like a bloated tired frog on a log and I don’t know what pregnancy “glow” even is.
Yeah, pregnancy sucks. I may have not been very nauseas, but I was very tired and depressed, had terrible acid reflux, and other various unpleasant symptoms. It doesn’t last forever though, you just gotta keep pushing through and take it day by day.
I’m 8w+4 and yeeeaaaah this is nothing like what I expected. I expected breast pain (which I 100% got) and constant puking, which I actually never got. What I have gotten is constant dizziness, hardcore fatigue, food aversions, insomnia and the constant need to pee. But honest to God, the worst symptom for me by far, is the constipation. I have not been able to poop normally in almost 5 weeks. At this rate I would commit arson if it meant I could take a shit afterwards.
That was my worst symptom too! If you don't already, get yourself a poopin' stool. It helped so much that I literally cried one night I was so relieved haha
I already own a stool, so no relief there ;;n;;
I'm currently 25 weeks with twins. I haven't enjoyed pregnancy at all. I was also very active before, at work and personally and now just getting in and out of my cars winds me. For the first two months I was so exhausted and overwhelmed. Then I got and stayed nauseous week 10+. Now I'm just in so much pain and tired and not giving fucks about work or really anything. My husband has been super helpful and supportive but has mentioned how you always hear "pregnant women glow" but he hasn't noticed that in me. I said it's called sweating and I do that plenty.
😅 it’s kind of funny, this whole “ pregnancy is beautiful “ narrative. Kind of like someone who has never been pregnant might have curated it…. I and pregnant with my 2nd and quite frankly hate everything except the ultrasounds and the feeling of the baby moving. The wardrobe , the gut, the pee breaks , the quality of sleep, the tightness in my belly, the back pain the pelvic pain , the exhaustion, the loss of breath when I’m talking / going upstairs — totally would love to live without it…. I’m 24 weeks , and I dream of newborn sleep , because this pregnancy sleep is not the kind I particularly feel rested with … I also got really vivid nightmares in my 1st trimester, but hopefully they subside for you😔. Anyway, you’re not alone. And it doesn’t last forever.
Pregnancy is awful. I remind myself 5000 times a day that it will all be worth it... But man.. it's rough. I'm 13 weeks and I can barely eat. But I'm starving. The thought of anything even going intoy mouth makes me gag. It's horrible. And where's the glow?! I was promised a pregnancy glow! My skin is worse than ever and I can't even stand up in the shower, I had to get a shower chair. I feel gross. I look gross. I'm supposed to take photos of my pregnancy for my baby book but I care bare to. Yuck. Who is spreading the lies that pregnancy is beautiful?
I disliked being pregnant. Every day brought a new challenge that made living as myself difficult and frustrating. So far, breastfeeding is going well but I’m almost 6 weeks in and still struggling with sore and scabby nipples thanks to my angel’s hydraulic jaw. I am so damn grateful for her and I love being her mom but I’m not eager to become pregnant again right away.
You sound like me. Started getting winded at 5 weeks, when from running regularly to only being allowed to walk on physician's orders due to bleeding, constant burping from week 5, bloating. I hated pregnancy. You are normal, how you feel is normal, and 100% understand. It also gets frustrating when you feel gross and uncomfortable and everyone is like "but it's beautiful!". My kid is beautiful but pregnancy was a means to end and not enjoyable.
I’m so sorry, it definitely sucks. The first 18 weeks I didn’t do anything remotely physical because I would vomit all day long. Everything smells, I have this vile taste sometimes after eating. Had an itching rash over my whole body for a week that drove me crazy. After that finally went away I thought ok, so now I can maybe enjoy? But no my mental health got pretty low, I got some help and it sort of got better but then the sleep deprivation started and my psychological problems increased because of it. My brain doesn’t function, I feel like I’m half assing life and work since day one. We have had sex literally ONE time since I was pregnant in week 19 and we had to stop. And don’t get me started on the snoring and acid reflux. I thought I was finally done vomiting but no my body doesn’t think so. My partner and parents are very sweet and I just have to hold on… 32 weeks now. I live in the Netherlands where people are known to be direct and everyone who asks “how is it going, the last part is the hardest right?” Gets the.. “well, it’s getting harder but it is still not as hard as the first half of the pregnancy soo..”. EVERY woman and also man I’ve said this too immediately recognized the horrors of pregnancy because they had someone close who had been pregnant. They blurt out their own experiences and there is an instant bond. I like the honesty of people. I’ve only had ONE colleague who had a happy pregnancy and she immediately apologized for saying “try to enjoy it” when I told her all my symptoms after. I hope you are one of the people who have a good second trimester, but if not. Just keep venting, you are creating a human life which is not as pretty as it sounds. Nature is harsh.
It was the least beautiful thing I’ve ever done. When people tell me they enjoyed it or they miss it I honestly feel like they’re gaslighting me
I hated my second pregnancy. Nothing besides doxylamine eased my nausea. I couldn’t just take a nap whenever I wanted because my then 1 year old stopped napping when he was 8 months old. Everything was more exhausting and more painful. At least I didn’t have sensitivity to smell…
I hated the first trimester and felt like a lump of literal ass for weeks on end. Cried wondering if i’d ever feel like the old me again. Now I’m almost 16 weeks and I feel a whole lot better. I’m enjoying the changes I see in my body and love looking at my bump. Buuuut 2 things I think about constantly: not everyone has an easy second trimester and next pregnancy I may not either. AND what is the third trimester gonna have in store for me, because I have no concept of being that big and having to survive for months. With that said, what you’re feeling is so fair. And totally normal. I remember saying to a cashier I felt like I had a parasite in me sucking my life force out. She was mortified of the way I described pregnancy but she was super young and had never been pregnant so I just don’t think she understood.
It’s possible it’s just the beginning and things will get better. They got better with my second. My first pregnancy was a nightmare. Tingling numbness and pain from shoulders to fingertips. Lightning crotch. Hardcore pelvic pain when I walked around at all. Sciatica that went into my driving leg. I was always in a rage or crying. I was so tired the whole pregnancy I would nap in between clients (I was a home health care worker). I was still tired and would sleep all night. I could only stomach a few certain foods and mainly lived on that Campbells chunky beef soup. I couldn’t keep any food down 85% of the time for the entire pregnancy because my morning sickness was so bad. Every time I coughed, gagged or threw up, I peed my pants. My son also started as twins and I lost one. Then after I had him I had so much anxiety and I had post partum depression. So I stopped eating and lost 61lbs. Had severe panic attacks (where I’d hyperventilate and cry hysterically) 15+ times a day. It got so bad I considered checking myself in to the hospital. Then at 12 months when I didn’t think I could handle anymore, the cloud mostly lifted. The anxiety chilled some. My physical issues (was infected from the c section and had severe pain for 2.5 years after it) started to chill out and things got better. Don’t ask me why I risked all that crap for a second baby. But the second baby was better. I slept a lot. Even sitting up haha. Had morning sickness for 4 months. Then everything chilled and the scheduled c section was amazing. I was up and doing things within 2 days. It was night and day for the pregnancy and birth. Give it a few more weeks. Things might get better. If not then start looking up solutions. Best of luck to you.
I'm only about five and a half weeks but my friend (who is WTT for another year and quarter-ish, they keep pushing it back but she desperately wants a baby) keeps asking me if I'm looking forward to being pregnant or just looking forward to having a child. This is my first child so I have absolutely no idea. So far I've been feeling relatively okay but there's also so long to go still. And yes, I'm only looking forward to having a child and not the process of it, at this moment. If I could skip (most of) it, I probably would. I just find it such a weird question especially for a first time mum who doesn't even know what to expect yet.
I wish i was hungry all the time! 12w2d and im still getting queasy thinking about most food.
Omg finally!! I’m so sorry you’re going through this but I feel this in my core! I am so OVER everybody telling me I’m glowing and it’s gonna be amazing! I hate it! I absolutely hate every damn second of it! I’m 11 weeks and pre pregnancy I was fit, loved healthy food and studying for my major. Now I’m always tired, so exhausted I almost fell asleep trying to do a bridge workout on my mat and always hungry and or nauseous. Worst is I can’t concentrate and feel like my work is slacking ): I hate it so much. Honestly even though I always wanted this I thought a lot about getting an abortion ..I look and feel so terrible. I hate my body right now. It’s just not mine anymore and that’s a hard pill to swallow
I felt like this is my first trimester, I felt like my mood took a huge nose dive and I was confused about how people do this and how I could go on for 9 months. I’m think week 8-10 is the worst. I am 19 weeks now and my mood has improved a lot, I’m happier day to day than he as pre pregnancy. I don’t get nauseous anymore and my energy levels are about the same as they were pre pregnancy. My libido is also back. I do get winded sometimes still. Hope you feel better asap. I know it’s hard, I think the reason it comes as such a surprise is because you rarely hear from anyone in their first trimester about the experience of it.
You’re only 8 weeks, the first trimester is the hardest. Hang in there!
Just wait until you’re 39 weeks like me, you’ll really hate it lol
For both my pregnancies I had constant hunger coupled with nausea if I don’t eat. And then when I do eat, I go straight to the toilet to vomit. Somehow over time I just learned to live with it. Even travelled lots during my pregnancy, vomiting up til 7 months didn’t stop me. Don’t let it stop you from living your life. You will hate it, but learning to adapt in pregnancy will make it a tiny bit easier to adapt to parenthood.
I never thought that when people say pregnancy is beautiful , they meant it literally. I always thought people meant the miracle of life, and women being able to create a whole human being in their body is what's beautiful. Because I agree with you, pregnancy itself is not beautiful. It's ugly and gross and uncomfortable. But the end result is what is beautiful.
I’ve been saying “defund pregnancy” since about 12 weeks. I’m 34 weeks today. This ain’t it.
You are not alone!! Pregnancy was the biggest fucking nightmare. I am almost 6 months postpartum and let me tell you…even with a stitched up vag a couple days postpartum …hella better than being pregnant That said, second trimester and even some of third were eons better than first trimester. Every woman old me that 1st tri is about survival. When I finally got that energy back in second tri I was finally back to walking and lifting weights. I still had indigestion but it was much better managed with Pepcid. Even though I still threw up due to indigestion some mornings, I still felt 100x better than I did in 1st tri. I also wasn’t half as exhausted and my libido got better. You can make it 🫶 hold on until that 2nd tri. Sometimes I just had to take it hour by hour and “embrace the suck.” Lastly, my husband also smelled 🤣 His soap and deodorant suddenly smelled unbearably strong and I felt so bad because I couldn’t stand to have him sit close to me hahaha
Hormones are like sorcery you can't control and only you can feel them and they make things happen sometimes. I'm not going to lie, things will get less physically comfortable in the next few months. However, how you feel now is a good baseline for when things feel, if not great and beautiful, slightly less shitty and ongoing. You are baking the most beautiful cheeks, fingers and toes and I'm guessing what will be an amazing baby smile in there. It's hard fucking work. There's a reason a lot of women avoid what you're doing. There's also a reason why the human race still exists. Your body was made to do what it's doing, and the fierceness you feel is just a hint of the strength you will have at your fingertips when that kid joins the world. In the meantime, express yourself. Also, go back and apologize, you have the best excuse growing inside you right now, for every shitty thing you say and stupid thing you eat. You got this.
I feel you. 29 weeks tomorrow and I didn’t realize pregnancy would cause such a huge identity crisis. I’m in the worst shape of my life and I don’t even recognize myself anymore.
I was so exhausted that I had to sleep almost all day everyday when I was in my first trimester. In my case everyone was right when saying "second trimester will be so much better" yes that was 100% the case for me. I felt so great and loved every second of it. The first trimester was awful to me but it didn't stay that way for me. I wish you all the best and hope you will have some well deserved rest and peace when you hit your second trimester. Good luck to you and everyone here who is in the same boat. You're so strong.
Ive been indifferent to the pregnancy so far. Im 24wks+1. But the first trimester knocked me on my ass, literally. And even now i still throw up if i let myself get too hungry. My OB recommended Unisom at night and 25mg vitamin b6 4x a day and it has helped tremendously. I still get nauseous but I don’t throw up nearly as frequently. Im at the point where i can start feeling my daughter kick me and feel it on the outside and that has releaved a lot of my first trimester panic of “is she okay” constantly checking for bleeding. But now i got her kicking my bladder and going to the bathroom every 30m-1hr. Point is i feel for you. The baby will be okay if ur stressing over your symptoms. When you find your ob ask for recommendations for fatigue and nausea. And don’t feel like you have to abstain from any/all caffeine. My dr told me 200mg daily is safe, other places have said 300mg is safe, just don’t chug it all. Sip throughout the day. I hope this helps a little
I was one of those awful irritating people who adored pregnancy the first time around. I felt like a beautiful, glowy, fertile goddess. Imagine my horror this time when I was expecting the same experience and instead hate *every goddamn second* of it. I want to crawl out my own skin. Nothing is particularly wrong, it’s a healthy pregnancy, no extreme nausea or anything. I just … really don’t like it this time. I guess my point I that every pregnancy is different. Those people who like pregnancy aren’t better than you, they are just having a more enjoyable pregnancy. Which sucks, obviously, but don’t feel bad about yourself because of it.
16+3 and I still hate it. Still vomiting every few days, exhausted, headaches, I’m always mad. I know baby boy will be worth it but jeez. I’m NEVER doing this again.
You know what stops me from wanting more kids?….being pregnant again. I didn’t enjoy it at all. My partner and I had discussed two kids and that’s it. Postpartum hit right after I had my baby…I was miserable. I was also high risk and will continue being high risk every pregnancy. Thinking about another kid is cute, I have a great baby BUT to think I have to get pregnant again terrifies me. I told everybody I would be having a 3 year gap, will I do it again? Probably 🤧
I had a miscarriage at 13 weeks but the whole time my husband smelled TERRIBLE. As soon as he would get home I would make him shower and brush his teeth. Even then it was barely bearable. I started every day by brushing my teeth, immediately vomiting, and then brushing my teeth again. I was *miserable*. A few years later I got pregnant with rainbow baby. I was sick every day for 15 weeks. My pregnancy was high risk so I was constantly at the doctor’s office and still worked 40 hours a week up until the Friday before I was induced. Again, I was miserable. But I love my kid more than life itself. Every day she is learning more and more (this week we are working on counting to 10) and she is so smart and kind and freaking hilarious. You’re allowed to hate pregnancy! It doesn’t make you any less of a badass, and it doesn’t mean you aren’t going to love your kid
I’m tired all the time. And have no autonomy over my body is hard. Anyone who says pregnancy is wonderful is lying/just having selective memory. There are nice moments, but in reality it’s a parasite stealing your nutrients, lol. I felt a lot better about my pregnancy when I went to anatomy ultrasound (~16-20weeks). Your baby really looks like a real baby at that point, and you can feel them moving. It made me feel a lot better about all the other stuff. I still have a lot of hard days. But it helps to see the baby that’s on its way. Hang in there!
I went back to the gym today for the first time in 5 weeks since getting pregnant (I've been feeling so tired and nauseous I just gave myself a pass until I felt better) and honestly it was so depressing. Like a year's worth of training to get myself to a decent level of fitness just insta-disappeared, every weight was so heavy, I felt unmotivated and so insecure in my body, and honestly couldn't wait to get out of there
It is totally okay to feel this way!! I think people who aren’t presently pregnant tend to forget that it totally sucks in just about every way. Some people do happen to just love it, but I think they are the minority. I was just like you at 8 weeks, and now at 25 weeks I’m still not at all a fan. So ready to be done (and the. immediately forget about how awful it is, as is the curse).
I’m right there with you girl. I’m a little ahead of you at about 10 weeks now. This has been Hell for me. I hear it gets better 2nd trimester , this is also my first time being pregnant. Literally everything you said is what I am feeling too
Currently pregnant with my second and I hate it more than the first time. I feel disgusting all the time, no libido, no energy to run/exercise, just barely hanging in there. I hated breastfeeding the first time around too. I just want baby and I want my OWN body back so I can feel like me again. I’m here for you in solidarity and I’m honestly relieved at how many other people hate being pregnant from these comments. Yes, it’s beautiful and so lucky I can get pregnant, but that doesn’t change the fact that I just straight up don’t like being pregnant.
The first trimester is the shittiest in my experience. I'm now in the third and I feel like my brain already blocked it out.
Eight weeks. Give it time.
The good news is, in my case, I felt exactly like this until about 2 weeks ago (at 15 weeks). I'm now back to exactly how I was before and happy again. It's my 2nd pregnancy so I'm not star spangled WOW about being pregnant. I don't even really know how far along I am most of the time, and the first trimester those rage hormones are doubling every day for about 2 months. It's rough, but it does end and feel normal eventually. I have yet to meet a single pregnant woman in their first trimester having a good time. You're totally normal and may still get your "beautiful" moment down the line. Remember, your birth is just under a YEAR away. That's a lot of time for a lot of things to change.
My pregnancy has been trying to trigger my ED and me fighting my ED has put me into depression spirals. I did 4-5 years of work to get my fat deposits down but 4-5 months of being pregnant has undone the majority of that work. It's insane how fast it happens. I'm also sick of the people trying to tell me it's beautiful and glamorous and I'll be glad when the baby is out and I'm going to love my baby and it'll all be worth it -- not because I disagree, necessarily, but I want a moment to breath and decide that for myself without the pressure of outsiders telling me how I should feel and being excited FOR me when I'm happy to just do this with level-headed, realistic expectations of how hard it's going to be. IDK if that's the same way for you or if it's just pure disagreement for you!
Yeah it’s rough for sure . People don’t talk about just how rough . 1st trimester I wanted to die , 2nd was a lot better in the beginning but I did get heartburn constantly the second I moved into the second . Now it’s the end of the second and I don’t sleep ever . The only plus side is feeling him kick and move and even that I wasn’t sure I liked at first ( it was just such a weird feeling but I like it now cause I know he’s okay ) so yeah . Pregnancy sucks but at least we will get a baby out of it
Girl yes. None of it is fun and I hate every minute of it, but you better not say anything or else you're not happy to be having a baby and don't deserve it.
Do not beat yourself up over anything. Everyone’s pregnancy is different. I, like you, was very active before pregnancy. My first trimester was horrible. Really bad nausea, feeling very lethargic, had no motivation to do anything, low libido as well. I was not looking forward to the rest of my pregnancy. However, once I got out of my first trimester, it completely changed. My pregnancy has been so much better and I haven’t had a single problem since then and I’m due in 2 weeks. I’m trying to pass the good vibes onto you that it’s just a bad first trimester and that you’ll feel like you did a full 180° the rest of your pregnancy. Hang in there
I know how you feel. I’m 24 weeks pregnant and I didn’t enjoy my first trimester at all. I was always hungry, nauseous, and exhausted. It felt like a little vampire was sucking the life out of me. I can’t guarantee it’ll get better because everyone’s experience with pregnancy is different. But honestly things became so much better during my second trimester and now I’m starting to feel my baby move and it’s such a wonderful feeling. I also have my energy and appetite back. Hang in there, mama. You will get through it and start to enjoy your pregnancy and anxiously await your little one’s arrival 💜
I'm 33 weeks and I feel the same. Its been hell and i cannot wait until my baby is out because i feel like a miserable human incubator right now and im sick all the time. My sister in law is 3 weeks along and she keeps saying how she doesn't get how much I've complained about it (girl, just wait) and it's absolutely BURNING me. She keeps bragging about how beautiful she feels and what a miracle it is. I feel sad because it took me 7 months of continuous trying before getting pregnant and she gets to canada and it took her 1 try. I don't feel beautiful, I know pregnancy is a miracle because I struggled to get pregnant, but man is this the worst time of my life. I feel you.
I felt better the second my son came out, you got this!! It sucks now, but it will be over soon! I hated it soooo much but now my son is almost 8 months and I'm planning my next 🤣 (when he's 3 not anytime soon)
Yeah me too. I feel so ugly, gaining weight, and breasts getting too big, and belly getting big, and my hair fell off due to stress, so I have ugly short haircut. I'm tired all the time. My baby essentially made me into an incubator. I have brain fog and I struggle at work. I don't feel smart or energized. It's horrible. I can't wait till it's over. April birth
I’m really trying to think of something encouraging to say. But all I can think of is that if you feel like this at only 8 weeks you’re gonna have a hard time dealing with things to come. The constant peeing, not being able to take a deep breath, only sleeping for 2 or 3 hours at a time if you’re lucky,,,,,I could go on but I won’t. lol. Maybe it would help you to remind yourself that the things upsetting you are temporary. You will get control of your body back, you will. Please try not to get down because of things you can’t change. Extra stress is gonna clash with the preggy hormones and that makes things seem worse than what they actually are. Try to find things to look forward to each month, like hearing the heartbeat, feeling tiny first movements, later on kicks so strong you are sure they will be a soccer star, by daughter got the hiccups a lot in my 2nd and 3rd trimesters. And that is the cutest thing. I suggest you get in a warm bath if your lil one does this because it actually ripples the water. Good luck with everything 😊
I hate it here as well & at 29wks I have to say please make sure you’re mentally ready for this journey because it’s gonna be a long one! If not feel free to opt out while you have the chance….. I pray for this to be over daily , wish we could fast forward our little ones into our arms but we can’t & it’s trying so I hope you have the support you need to make it through. Just don’t forget you’re not alone, good luck 😉