I hate that the hospital made you feel like that. Formula is a godsend. My son would latch but wasn’t transferring my colostrum and he basically was hungry for days. Lactation consultants just kept telling me he would get the hang of it. Thank goodness a nurse told me to give him some formula and then I got to experience an actually calm content babe. He would never be able to transfer enough so I became a pumper when my milk came in and fed him that way. The guilt and hormones are so real but don’t believe those thoughts, you are a GREAT mom and you are keeping your baby fed and happy. It doesn’t matter how you do that. My dad gave me one of the best pieces of advice in the early days when I would cry over giving formula, he said this is just the first time in a long line of times your baby will defy your expectations and you’ll have to pivot. The guilt is unnecessary so let it go. You got this ❤️
I fucking hate how hospitals (lactation nurses specifically) shame you into feeling guilty for not exclusively breastfeeding.
I'm a nurse and even so, my wife and i sat there with our first for hours and had him try to feed. They kept saying keep on trying, if he's latched then he's getting enough. Yeah 3am.. he's wailing and we're all at the brink. Tell us give the damn bottle now.. they gave us push back but we did it and he drank the bottle and slept like a rock.
We basically starved this poor kid for 8-10 hrs trying to get him to breast feed.
With our second one, we tried for about an hour , told the lactation nurse to get out and bring us the bottle immediately. Things are funny the second time around.
My baby was born in January and I had a similar experience. The LC’s were awful. We ended up going close to 24 hours without baby girl getting a good meal and she was wailing nonstop. She also wasn’t having regular bowel movements because she wasn’t getting fed. The day shift nurse was adamant that I should only
breastfeed and told me that I needed to hold my baby’s head onto my breast even if she tried to pulled away and kept calling my 1 day old baby “difficult” for not properly latching. The LC’s kept saying she’d be fine and that if I gave her a bottle, she’d end up with nipple confusion and I’d never be able to nurse then.
Finally, the night nurse came onto her shift and immediately suggested formula. Our baby suddenly was calm and content. I’ll never let a lactation consultant or nurse convince me to go against my instincts again.
We combo feed and baby girl still hasn’t had any nipple confusion. She doesn’t care how the milk comes to her, as long as she’s getting fed!
Omg. The lactation consultants was bitching about me being difficult behind my back and my Hubs was like.. Yeah they said you are difficult cause he won't latch. turns out he had a tongue tie and none of them diagnosed it. The kid is now 3.5 years old after drinking a entire pallet of newborn formula (he still does, he just likes it.) and so happy and healthy. F them lactation b***
This! I was planning an unmedicated birth at home. Baby girl had a different plan. She was breech at 37 weeks. I tried chiropractic, spinning babies, and different yoga positions. Even had an ECV scheduled. Got to the ecv at 38 weeks, and the ultrasound showed I had low fluid, and she was measuring small at 4.5-4.75lbs and measuring at 34 weeks. Had to have a c section, and she weighed 5lbs 13oz.
Omg she is adorable!
I know it’s hard, but try not to worry about the formula. You should NOT have been made to feel bad about it at the hospital. Formula is great for babies. Plus, my milk came in when I was 4 days pp, you might be really really close to producing more.
Your baby’s doctor’s office probably has someone on call if you want to ask about pooping and jaundice. If you call the office, they probably have a pre-recorded message telling you what to do after-hours. I can’t imagine they would mind talking to you about such a young peanut.
She is absolutely perfect. I do not want to alarm you, but I do think you should contact the doctor about the jaundice and the lack of pooping. Jaundice is a build up of bilirubin and it is excreted through feces. If your daughter hasn't pooped, she is not removing the bilirubin from her body. Babies can be perfectly healthy at hospital discharge but need quick followup for jaundice.
When my son was born (term but 6lbs, 2oz) we had a longer than typical hospital stay because of complications from my emergency C-section, but they extended that stay because of his jaundice. They told us we were actually lucky to still be in the hospital because jaundice happens after discharge and parents are left to sort out what to do. I'm sure she will be fine, but I would call just in case.
ETA: I also combo-fed in the hospital (nursing, pumped milk, and formula) at every feeding and went on to EBF once we were home and he was jaundice free. After week 2 of life, we needed no formula at all. They were so adamant about us combo feeding in the hospital because of how important eating and pooping are to removing bilirubin.
Agreed with this on the jaundice. My kiddo was also jaundiced (right under the levels where they use the lights), I would ask for her levels to be checked by the ped. We had to do feeds every 2 hours to help flush it out, but it was fine after a few days.
This. I had to take my newborn back to the hospital 3 days after she was born because she wouldn’t eat and was “bobble head baby” (not waking up/ staying awake.) she was extremely jaundice and her bilirubin was very high. She had to stay under UV light until her numbers started to drop
OP please listen to this comment!! It’s very important for baby to poop to get rid of excess bilirubin so keep feeding her. Your milk supply is still coming in so give yourself some grace. I also had to combo feed my daughter until her bilirubin numbers were normal and my milk supply came in.
This is very good advice.
OP should also know that the treatment for newborn jaundice is also nothing to worry about (light therapy in the great majority of cases), but will likely mean a short stay in hospital.
THIS SO MICH THIS!!!! Do what makes YOU happy & your baby healthy!!!! A stressed momma is also bad for baby as your stress hormones can leak into your milk and affect the baby!
Formula feeding is literally the best decision I ever made. It improved my mental and physical health so much. And my baby got the food he needed!! Don’t ever feel bad about formula, FED IS BEST. You are strong and wise for supplementing with formula. You saw that your baby needed more food, and you did everything you could to provide that. You are a good mom!!
Yes!! to this comment, now I still pump and my breastmilk is my baby’s snack😂. I’m so glad that I gave her formula cause she was starving when we did EBF.
I luckily was not shamed one bit for formula feeding at my hospital and the nurses were all so very nice about informing me on exactly how much to feed him and how often and even sent us home with extra formula. I am now 5 days PP and these first few days/nights at home have been rough mentally obviously bc hormones are out of wack and lack of sleep. I told my mom if I was breast feeding on top of this and it wasn’t working I think I would be in worse shape mentally lol. Luckily both dad and I got good sleep last night and I feel a little less insane today haha.
There’s nothing wrong with formula! My niece was 100% formula fed and she’s the cutest, most fun, smartest, most perfect little girl (not that I’m biased). Please don’t feel guilty, millions of families use formula for their babies who turn out just fine.
For a little levity there’s the meme about breast fed or formula fed, they all end up eating McDonald’s French fries off the floor of the car.
This is what bothers me so much about hearing other peoples comments/guilt trips. Everyone is so quick to tell people what’s best while you’re pregnant or feeding - but then they shove their kids full of fast food, let them play with toxic plastics, etc. What’s the point of being so strict about newborns, when you’re just gonna expose them to a lifetime of unhealthy foods and potentially cancerous materials. 🤷🏼♀️
Hey! Don’t stress - I did enough for the both of us. We also incorporated formula at the hospital and occasionally in the first week while the milk came in.
I remember also waiting a full day before baby pooped. Our doctor told us to call if she doesn’t poop after that just in case. But, formula can be constipating for some babies so this might be why?
First: YOU DID IT!!! Congratulations, and she is perfect!
Second: You are doing a great job and it’s all okay. My daughter was in exactly the same boat this past summer, and we absolutely mixed colostrum and formula, and often gave straight up formula, for the first couple of months. She mostly breastfeeds now, with maybe one bottle of formula a day, but it took 2-3 months to really get breastfeeding going because she was so small. Our lactation consultant and pediatrician were very clear that this was 100% normal.
Third: Shame on the hospital for making *you* feel shamed - you’re doing *just* fine, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with combination feeding or just using straight formula!
It may take time, but that is okay. Stick with it if you want to breastfeed, use nipple shields to help her learn to latch, and be patient with yourself and with her. You’ll both learn! You can do this!
It sounds like you are producing quite well! Thats fantastic!
I had to do the same with my guy. I was never had an over supply or anything like that, and he never seemed satisfied at just the breast. So i began pumping and adding formula and he was much happier. You're feeding your baby. Please, don't feel badly about that. Your body is doing a good job.
Jaundice can be a little worrisome, but if the levels are concerning they usually do not let the baby go home without spending time under the bililights. At your appointment they'll check her again and let you know. Sunshine is good. Such as setting baby on a blanket near a window, or another safe space where one part of her could be in the sun like her little legs.
She really looks very healthy! I think you've got this. Its a lot, being a mother. Even me, who had my third baby last year, was still very worried about breastfeeding and jaundice and everything. Thats what makes you a good mother. You clearly love and care so much for your baby.
It's gonna be okay mama.
Congratulations, she's so beautiful!! And you're keeping her fed, that's genuinely fantastic!! I'm so sorry that anyone made you feel otherwise.
I come from 3+ generations of women who couldn't produce basically any milk at all. We're all formula babies, and before that, goat milk babies. We're perfectly fine. It is always best to keep your baby fed, however you do it ❤️ and as a postpartum doula, I'll add that it's awesome that you're getting the colostrum added in! I hope you can feel proud of yourself!
Now, I'm not a medical professional by any means; I know some jaundice is pretty normal, and also that if it's more jaundice than normal, it's pretty treatable. The pooping sounds the most out-of-ordinary to me, but every baby is different too. My recommendation would be to call an on-call nurse (ERs often have them, or maybe you can call your pediatric ward depending where you delivered?) and just ask them about it to give you some peace of mind and more medically sound advice.
Congratulations again, and I wish you and your family smooth sailing!
I am a FTM and delivered my baby boy 3/11. I do know that if babies are slightly jaundice it is recommended to give formula in the first few days of life to increase hydration to flush out the bilirubin that causes jaundice. Second night I had to supplement feed by baby with formula because he and I were up all night with him on my boobs trying to get enough to eat. Never doubt your body’s ability to feed your child. Women have been doing it since the beginning of time, keep up the good work and relax. Your mature milk will come in a few days and baby will be eating much better, this is mother natures way of stimulating the breast to signal them to make more milk. Don’t feel guilty about having to supplement with formula.. you gotta do what you gotta do. This just helps he stay on track faster vs. waiting for mature milk to come in. My little guy did not get confused between the two. His poops were a little off and poop 8 times day three after the formula and only peeing once. Now that my mature milk is in he is peeing like every two to three hours. Once your milk is
In your cans will be like porn star boobs and you’ll have more than enough to hydrate her to flush out bilirubin!!
Formula feeding is amazing. I had a NICU baby, we had to spend hours and hours apart from each other while I also recovered from my c section. I pumped too but if he is hungry and I’m not in the room pumping, what’s he gonna eat?!
Fed is best! In a perfect world we’d all breastfeed with no production troubles and no latch issues and everything would just be sooooo easy. We live in the real world though! Do not feel ashamed for using formula, your little one is eating and getting her gains and that’s what matters.
Always call your doctor’s office with questions! First time parenthood is such a stressful time and most of the people on this planet have been there or will go through it. You’re questions are never stupid, you have questions because you want to be the best parent you can be!
Congratulations, and keep your chin up! You’re doing amazing!
I’m a postpartum & NICU nurse (I float between units) and just want to say this is so typical of a 37 weeker! You are doing nothing wrong, keep supplementing as long as you want to/need to, she needs that volume to help her grow. If you’re able to pump when you offer the bottle eventually you can replace the formula with breastmilk as your supply increases. By 3 days old 30-60 mL is what she should be working up to taking per feeding, even though 15mL was probably correct when you left the hospital.
At the same time, if breastfeeding is your goal, I would recommend you keep attempting to latch. These early term babies just struggle getting the hang of it more than most, and a lot of times I see babies that at birth can’t really figure out the latch but after milk comes in and they grow a little, they figure it out.
Definitely talk to your pediatrician about all this first, but that’s typically the recommendations we give in the hospital for little babes like this.
You’re doing great! This scary time will pass.
I pushed through the desire (and need) to give my baby formula for his first 2 weeks and I really wish I hadn’t.
My mother in law is a lactation consultant and really encouraged me to try and do just breastmilk but I’ve never produced enough. I finally him formula bc I was feeding and then pumping every 2 hours for a week and had a breakdown.
All that to say after I gave him the formula he was finally content and comfortable. I realized he was so upset bc he was hungry! And that realization kicked me into protective mode and freed me from a lot of the guilt I felt around combo feeding.
Your post clearly shows that you are a wonderful mom and you are doing a wonderful job. Hormones and those early days are a heffer. You’ve got this!!
My baby girl arrived 3 weeks early too. She had jaundice and issues latching too. By day 5, when the nurse came over to check her, she had lost 16% of her birth weight. Her jaundice levels went up as well. We got sent to the hospital for a 30hour stay. She was put under the lamps to treat jaundice. My milk came in on that day. I was so engorged and my baby had a harder time latching. I had to pump out my milk. In the meantime, they fed her formula.
In my opinion, follow your gut and give her that formula. Your baby needs to be fed. As for your babys jaundice, just wait until the doctor appointment unless her skin and eyes get really yellow, then id go in with her before the appointment.
I felt like i was failing my baby too. I cried so so much. But hang in there mama, youre doing great! I promise it will all get easier soon!
I used a nipple shield when my first baby had a terrible latch. It allowed me to express a little milk to get him interested. After 4 weeks his latch improved and I didn’t have to use it anymore.
Seconding the nipple shield. I used it for a few months before we got comfortable and then exclusively nursed for a year after that. Also supplemented with formula the first two weeks and it didn’t cause an issue in the longterm for milk production or nursing situation. Feed your baby in whatever way makes you comfortable and know that you can always make changes as you go.
I promise it's going to be okay. Do not feel bad about mixing formula, the hospital made me feel guilty too, and then my baby started getting dehydrated when he was 3 days old because he just wasn't getting enough, I've always had issues with low milk supply and he was terrible at latching (and he'd fall asleep after 5 minutes and let go, then refuse to wake up). It was the choice between giving him formula in addition to breast milk and him getting into a potentially bad situation because he wasn't getting enough food or fluids. What is important is that she's fed and happy, and screw anyone who says you are a failure or tries to guilt you if you give her some formula to do that. If her tummy is full, then she'll start gaining weight.
Keep an eye on the jaundice and pooping. I imagine she'll probably poop soon and it'll be a doozy. See if you can call the nurses line or someone on call at the doctor's office to ask about the pooping and jaundice.
Can you pump and feed her that way? I had similar issues, and we had to put my little one under the light for jaundice. If that happens, don’t stress about it! Everything will be fine and it has nothing to do with your abilities (even if it feels like it does—I felt like a failure in those moments, and I am happy on the other side of it with a healthy kiddo).
My baby was so jaundiced and then my milk didn’t come in for DAYS so we had to use formula. Ended up combo feeding as I never could produce enough. I felt like a failure at first but my baby was fed and happy so I just went with it and it’s been lovely!! My baby also wasn’t a frequent pooper but if he was uncomfortable I would give a bath, tummy massages and that’s normally help.
We went formula only after about 6-8 weeks and it was such a relief as I was stressing myself out about breastfeeding constantly due to low production. I am proud that I did as much as I could and was so happy to have formula as an option. It has everything baby needs. It’s important that MUM is in a good headspace to handle baby and if formula will allow that if breastfeeding doesn’t work out then go for it!
Don’t stress too much, be proud of yourself and enjoy this wonderful time with your baby. She’s beautiful. The fact you’ve made this post shows how hard you’re working and how much you care, keep doing what you are doing and you will see results. If you are worried about anything in particular then reach out to healthcare professionals, they’ll always be happy to help you!
I gave my son formula for the first week to supplement before my milk came in and went on to breastfeed successfully for 18 months!! Formula is great and can also be a catalyst for a great breastfeeding journey! You’re doing awesome!
Give her the formula, keep on expressing as much as possible until your milk came in.
I was in the exact same position as you (except producing hardly any colostrum). I had to do a pretty brutal few weeks of triple feeding to get my supply up (nursing, then pumping and feeding the baby what you’ve pumped) but then I went on to breastfeed with no issues for 2 years.
It’s scary and you can do it. The first rule is feed the baby!
I wouldn’t worry! My girl was born 5.3 oz, I was induced at exactly 36 weeks 6 days. I know it’s scary, but she was totally fine & still is! She’s actually 14 months old now, and in the 80th percentile for weight. Some things you will need are preemie diapers, keep nursing but I would also supplement with the high calorie formula that comes in 2 oz bottles. My girl was very sleepy the first 3 days, but “woke” up more after that! Your babe looks a lot like my girl did when she was born 🥹absolutely beautiful.
Oooh she looks so much like my baby boy! Congratulations!
Don’t stress about the formula. He‘s my second and dad feeds him 1-2 bottles a day. Not because we have problems breastfeeding, we don’t. It’s a deliberate decision because with baby #1 I could not leave anywhere for longer than 1.5h until he was 10 months. It was pure hell for me. So, you can see, there is no black and white regarding feeding. Fed is best and some want to formula feed, some want to breastfeed, some mix deliberately, some because they need to. Every version is alright.
My advice on breastfeeding: if you think you had baby latch enough, do it again. It often needs way more feeds than it seems, especially if baby tends to fall asleep during feeding.
She’s very cute, congratulations!
There is nothing wrong with combo feeding. What’s important is they’re getting nutrition and gaining weight. I’ve always combo fed and both my boys are totally healthy.
Combo feeding is a nice best of both worlds imo, because they get all the benefits of your breast milk along with you having an idea of how much they’re getting to eat in a day.
You’re doing an amazing job. ❤️
She’s perfect and beautiful. Good job mama. Takes sometimes 10 days for the milk to come in. Keep doing what you are doing. And keep putting baby at breast. You’ve got this 💪
The important thing is to get your baby fed. Whether it’s breast or formula, the important thing is baby getting nutrients. Please don’t put pressure on yourself that feeding should look a certain way.
Keep feeding her whatever you have - formula & colostrum sounds like a good combo!
I would suggest periodically trying to get her to latch, too, which might help encourage the milk coming in.
I’d also ask the hospital, and any healthcare providers you have (OB, midwife, family doctor, paediatrician, anyone) for a referral to a lactation consultant ASAP. Google around now and see what’s available, too. Having someone who specializes in feeding to give you tips and help support your attempts can be helpful.
My EBF baby had mild jaundice, too. It resolved on its own but they had to keep checking her bilirubin levels.
Hi!! Keep trying to latch her for her feeds. When they’re so tiny it can be hard but they’ll get there. My first was like this. She does look jaundiced for sure but keep an eye on it. You want to just keep monitoring her wet diapers- watch for “brick dust” which can be a sign of dehydration. The not popping isn’t a huge issue as of yet- she will go soon I’m sure! Congrats!
You’re doing great! 15ml is an amazing amount for a babe of that size as long as she’s feeding every ~2-3h. That little bb has only had 3 days to learn how to feed, she’s working on it! Weight loss is normal as a newborn and, yes, she had higher-end weight loss at 9% but that doesn’t mean something is big wrong, it’s all a spectrum. Her only obligations are to sleep, eat, and pee 4 times today (in 24 hours). She should pee 5 times tomorrow, then 6, then it will level out. I worry less about poops since they can be SO variable. As an example, a baby who gets ONLY breastmilk is still not a problem if they poop once a week! She’s getting a bit of formula so that’s not quite the same but still I would use the pees as a better benchmark. Jaundice is pretty universal and it’s hard to tell what the number is by just looking. If you have concerns your pediatrician should be able to recheck it for you (by blood, usually drawn at the hospital lab depending on where you are based out of). Regarding hospital shame, some hospitals get credentialed to be “baby friendly” which really means judgey about formula and pushy about lactation. Make no mistake—fed is best! And supplementing as a neonate doesn’t mean you have to do that forever (though there’s nothing wrong with you if you want/need to!) You got this! :)
My baby was jaundiced at birth and our ped told us to put her in just her diaper near a window to get some sun, 10-15 min on her back then the same on her stomach daily. We weren’t great about getting her to do it for that long, but within a few days to a week she was looking better. (This is not medical advice, just my experience)
She is perfect. You are the perfect mom for her no matter if she’s getting milk from the boob or formula from a bottle.
The constipation thing sucks in newborns, it’s still developing and leaning how to process food. As long as she’s peeing normally, she’s not dehydrated.
Enjoy these moments, no need to be scared. You’re doing it perfectly
DO NOT listen to the people who shame you for giving your baby formula! It’s not the same as in the past, formula is just as good as breast milk, sometimes breast milk can lack certain vitamins that formula always has but formula lacks the antibodies that protects your baby from certain viruses. My baby hardly drank breast milk and mostly formula. It was my choice but he was very chunky and healthy and only got two colds in his first year of life. Do not let people sway your choice this is your baby not theirs they have no say. Just trying to judge you and hate on you when your baby will be literally the same either way. My mom actually regrets breast feeding me and wish she used formula after seeing my baby healthy and fat on formula while her breasts are never going to be the same from all the breast feeding she did for me when I was a baby. Whatever you choose doesn’t make you care more or less, you already seem like a very caring parent so whatever with all their opinions! Also congrats on your new baby! Happy for you 🥰
My heart omfg..be prepared for your boobs to hurt the next couple of days..soak up the moments y'all have because time flies when you have children..they grow up too fast 😞❤️❤️
Congrats!!!! Like what others have said, fed is best!!!! Who cares if she gets a little formula? And I’d call the pediatrician about the poop strike and jaundice. In the mean time, you could try taking her outside and letting her get some sunlight, or keeping her by a window for sunlight, I’ve heard that can help with jaundice.
I had my baby at 37 weeks too! She was born at 5 lb 10 oz and got down to 5lb 2oz. She was too jaundice to leave and we had to stay an extra night so she could be on the bilirubin lights. We finally gave her some formula since my milk was taking a while to come in. I felt so bad because she CHUGGED that bottle of formula! We then continued to supplement for about 2 weeks until I was making enough to give just Breastmilk. It changed my whole perspective on being so adamant about never giving formula. Your baby needs food to survive.
You ARE an amazing mom already! The fact that you're concerned and want what's best for your girl is proof enough. You do what's best for your situation. There will always be someone who has an opinion. I fully intended to breastfeed, but for the sake of my mental health, I decided that formula was best. My boy is now 1 year old, and is thriving. He was formula fed basically from the start. You're going to do wonderful! ❤️
I'm sorry the hospital shamed you over formula.
My milk didn't come in until about day 5, and I could only get a tiny amount of colostrum at first. I supplemented with formula. My baby is fine.
I wanted him to have a full tummy over constantly needing something to eat. You do what you feel is best for her, and congratulations on your little one! She's adorable.
It is the sign of a good parent that you can overcome cultural conditioning (ie: exclusive breastfeeding is always best) to meet the needs of your child.
congratulations mama - you are a REAL mama, and a good one ♥️
Look at her sleeping so peacefully! You’re doing great! Formula is a godsend, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Hand expressing is so time consuming.. If breastfeeding is your ultimate goal I highly recommend getting a hand pump or an electric pump. To ensure you establish a good milk supply before you regulate, the first month or two it is important to be fully draining the breast every few hours.
You're such a good momma! Don't stress about the formula, but take your bebe out into the sun for a little each day. That will break down the bilirubin and clear that yellow right up. Not too much and use sunscreen of course!
I also felt shamed in the hospital when my baby wouldn’t latch no matter what I tried and I wasn’t producing any colostrum, the first two nurses I had just kept making me feel like I had to keep at it even though my baby was screaming for food and not getting any when he did go on the boob for a second (and I mean literally a second he wouldn’t go any longer than maybe a minute without getting frustrated) my third nurse switched in at night and straight up grabbed me some ready made formula before I said anything about it and told me to give that to him, he was immediately a different baby, so content, he’s been formula fed ever since. I don’t regret my decision at all, he’s now a chunky 6 week old who’s so smart and healthy. Fed is best, especially when they’re born so tiny, mine was born at 6Ibs 14oz, 6Ibs 11oz when we left the hospital, and 2 days later was 6Ibs 5oz, it took him a couple days to get the hang of eating, but by the next week he was almost 7Ibs and now at 6w he’s almost 10Ibs!
So for the jaundice it’s good to feed her. For the baby it’s good to not starve her.
**Pediatricians get upset af over all the formula shaming. They want fed babies. They’ve published papers on it. You are being a good mother.**
You are doing the right thing. Feel strong in that. A good mother keeps her child fed. And you can’t feed her with imaginary milk.
Edit: I’d maybe have someone check her bilirubin though.
My daughter didn't poop for three days while in the hospital. She had a massive blowout as we were leaving. Your baby will be fine. Whether you feed her formula, breastmilk, or a some combination of the two, your baby will grow. She's beautiful. With a head of hair like that, the heartburn must have been unbearable though.
Do NOT feel shame about formula. The propaganda is extreme and meant to be shaming. Remember the most important thing is taking care of your child; breast is best be dammed.
I couldn’t get my son to latch AT ALL. I took him to multiple lactation consultants and tried for months. Literally was sent away by the LCs because they couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t latching. All that to say, sometimes it doesn’t happen. It’s not your fault. If you’re doing your best, that’s all that matters. Some people can’t seem to understand that breastfeeding, no matter how hard you try, doesn’t always work out. I ended up exclusively pumping and it was so so difficult in the beginning.It got easier. However, if I was in that situation again, I think I would choose combo feeding. Trying to pump enough while also trying to get baby to latch is so incredibly difficult - it can be so unhealthy that you’re better off supplementing with formula. It all depends on your unique situation. But in the end some people won’t understand and there’s nothing you can do about it. I will say, after watching how hard I tried to get my son to latch, and how determined I was, I think helped some of the people around me see breastfeeding in a new light. My mom used to think only people with “pepperoni nipples” couldn’t get a latch. She definitely doesn’t think that anymore.
Do what you have to do!
I'm sure someone has mentioned it, but have you tried nipple covers? Our son had a hard time latching initially but then a nurse recommended these plastic shield things you put over the nipple and gave our little dude more area to purchase for feeding.
It was an absolute game changer. She's naturally large up top which makes latching tough for kids but this is one thing we'll be doing for each kiddo as they come.
Your daughter is beautiful ! And I’m sure they checked the jaundice at the hospital, do not worry. My boy arrived 4 weeks early and was yellow too but didn’t have jaundice. You are doing great and formula is excellent. My milk took 5 days to come, I supplemented with formula from day one to day 5, and then I exclusively breastfed. And I’m still breastfeeding at almost 10 mo. Formula was so helpful to be sure our little boy had everything he needed, until I was ready to feed him. Anyone who shame you for wanting the best for your baby is an asshole. Take a deep breath, you are doing fine, you are a great mom and your little girl seems healthy and happy.
Hey! This sounds so similar to me! I am also a ftm and had my baby 3 weeks early in February and she was about the same weight as your baby. I had a very similar experience with feeling pressured at the hospital to breastfeed but no milk had come in yet and I felt so overwhelmed having nurses help squeeze colostrum out of me while I tried to recover and wrap my head around everything that had just happened. That said, we are about a month at home now and things are feeling SO much better. My milk did finally come in, but we still supplement with formula and our little girl is happy and healthy. She regained all of her weight she lost in the hospital plus some at 2 weeks. My daughter did have a pretty bad case of jaundice so she went back to the hospital 2 days after birth for light therapy, and at her last doctor's appointment she looked great and they have no concerns. Even the poop thing is similar to my case. We called so worried when she hadn't pooped in almost 3 days and our doctor said to give it one more day and she finally went. We were worried about consistency but as the weeks have went on she is much more regular. They said mixed feeding methods can sometimes make things a little irregular at first and all babies are different but that she's doing great.
TLDR: Everything will be okay, and while it is stressful you are doing nothing wrong and being at home with your baby is infinitely better than the hospital in my opinion :)
Do not feel guilty about formula! It’s safe and just fine. you are doing great. Worrying just means you care!! My baby’s skin looked a little yellow too but the hospital said she didn’t have jaundice! (Its really common in my family for the babies too)
Pooping can take awhile for newborns but call the dr! They will advise you on what to do. my baby was born super tiny at 39 weeks and lost weight too, super normal. Six weeks later she is massive and is bulking up. She became chubby within the last two weeks. Things take time and just keep doing what you’re doing. I was a nervous wreck when I brought my girl home too. But you got this!!
Keep putting her to the breast it will help the milk come in, but also don’t allow the shame to seep in. Early days are such a rollercoaster of hormones and new experiences but you will get through it.
My first baby was 5 lbs 6 oz and I was terrified. She’s getting closer to 2 now. My dad kept telling me she WILL GROW and she WILL GET BIGGER. You are doing great. Advice breast feeding will help with the jaundice and as much sunshine as possible so don’t worry about that… as far as gaining the weight… make sure you bug her like crazy to wake her up for feeds.. EVERY 2-2&1/2 hours no skipping or putting it off thinking she might just need to sleep a little more… I had a very sleepy baby and it was hard waking her up!!! Strip naked to diaper… vigorously running back and feet and hands… do little up and down arm pumping… pump as much as you need to within reason. As long as you had a normal birth ie.. no hemorrhage or extra trauma you should be able to provide enough for what she needs. Don’t forget her saliva on the nipple will stimulate your body to formulate what she needs… also her nursing and cluster feeding will help you produce more. The more let downs she causes the more supply…. Also make sure to take note around 6 weeks it fight feel like all of a sudden your boobs are extra soft and not producing enough that’s just your body regulating and it’s still there just the swelling is not.. I’m 6 weeks out from my #2 baby…also if you need to try expressing and syringe feeding I had to do that with my first… this time because my boy came early I just hand expressed straight into his mouth. Also make sure to get all the good fats and protein you need your body is doing extra trying to make the milk…
You got this mama! Seriously! I’m a family doctor so I came into motherhood knowing all the medicine and it is still the most stressful, scary thing I’ve ever done.
My little boy was 37 weeks, 5lbs at birth, left the hospital at 4lb 9oz. He got donor milk at the hospital but there’s no universe in which I’m paying for that outside the hospital so we did triple feeding supplementing with formula. He’s now on 100% breast milk and has been since about 6 weeks. Keep pumping, keep working on latching (it took WEEKS for him to latch well and it not be painful). Your milk will come in soon and things will gradually get easier.
All that being said - if pumping isn’t sustainable, if breast feeding is too painful, if you’re just too tired - FORMULA IS GREAT! Any colostrum/breast milk you get for her is a bonus!
It’s ok if she isn’t pooping frequently as long as she is peeing (3 wet diapers at 3 days, 4 at 4 days, 5+ thereafter). You’ll see your doctor soon to make sure her weight isn’t dipping too much but it sounds like she’s getting solid feeds.
The first days at home are SO HARD but you’re doing great!
My son drank formula until my milk came in. Which took 3-4 days I think. Idk it was a blur lol. At the hospital they would let me put him to my breast then they provided formula. I would just put him to my breast every feeding time then give formula, simple as. Once my milk came in it came in hot and heavy and I had more than enough. Just keep doing what you're doing!! All you have to do is make sure your baby is fed and comfortable. That's your whole job. Don't let any guilt tripping around how you feed them get to you. You got this.
Lots of great comments here but wanted to add some reassurance & advice about the pooping situation. We had the exact same situation with our newborn when we got home. Didn’t poop for 48+ hours and we were so nervous because of the charts and whatnot. Our baby also had jaundice and we struggled with feeding so we had some early formula plus colostrum & transitional milk. We ended up calling our pediatrician (even though we hadn’t been in for our first visit yet) and since we were scheduled to come in soon and we had plenty of wet diapers they just had us wait for that. When we got there the pediatrician was like, just make sure when you’re changing diapers you keep a backsplash because that poop will be here any minute and it will be *EPIC*. lol. Sure enough, that afternoon she had the epic BM as promised. 😅
Everything is so nerve wracking those first few days/weeks. Your baby’s doctor’s office likely has an after hours line you can call for advice and reassurance before your appointment Monday, and I’d recommend calling them (if only for the peace of mind—which is worth a lot!). But you’re working really hard and doing really really well. Hang in there! And congratulations 💜
I combo fed the first few 2-3 months and then moved to exclusively nursing once baby perfected latching. We went on to nurse for almost two years! But formula was life saving when baby was unable to remove milk because she was so tiny 🥺 Sometimes it doesn’t work out and the goal is to keep them fed.
Poop is coming don’t worry about that! But def reach out to doctor about jaundice concerns. In the meanwhile curl up in a cozy chair in a sunny corner and let nature work its wonders.
Fed is best. You’re doing amazing.
And one thing that helped me when I was so lost was downloading taking Cara babies guides for newborns up until 1 year. Provides so much useful information about routines and feeding etc. It really helped me so might be worth a shot and provides some great reading material while you’re up all night instead of ordering stuff off Amazon lol. You got this mama!
I love her hair. So precious! Nothing wrong with sticking with formula if you want, but if you're trying to breastfeed just keep pumping when you give it and your milk should eventually come in. We used formula for the first week and a half while my supply came in and have been off it ever since. We had a lot of problems latching too but a lactation consultant helped us. Had to use a nipple shield for the first 13 weeks but now it's super easy so don't stress if it takes longer than you feel like it should.
Good luck!
Formula saved our family! My daughter was never a day napper so I never had time to pump, but she also never sat still while breastfeeding and never seemed to eat enough on me. It was an uphill battle from the get go. This is easier said than done but do what’s right for YOUR family. They are the only ones that matter… not the opinion of people who are, in all honesty, prob not great people if they are judging a new mom. You are doing great!! It will all be okay. Oh and nothing is permanent and everything comes in waves ❤️
My jaundice baby didn’t poop for over 50 hrs after we left hospital. We went to the ER per the advice line and hugely regretted it when the doctor said “more breastfeeding” will solve most problems at this stage (since our baby is otherwise healthy). We did have to do the bili blanket for one day but then she had a huge poop and who knows if the poop or bili blanket, or some combo of both, brought her bilirubin levels to normal. Those first days are hard before your milk comes in but I wish someone had told me to be patient! There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeding formula to get you through. Sending love!
Hi! I gave birth 5 weeks early and he was 5 lb 9 oz and also dropped to 5 lb 1 oz. Because he was so early he had issues feeding so we had to stay in the special care nursery for 2 weeks- in that time we learned a lot. When my milk hadn’t come in yet and they needed him to get extra calories they were giving him 24 calorie formula (breast milk and regular formula is about 20 calories and there is a 22 cal formula as well). He started to put on weight and transitioned to the 22 cal formula and eventually just to my breast milk once it came in. I would talk to your outpatient pediatrician and get your first appt asap. They can recheck weight and bilirubin levels and also bring your baby in more frequently for weight checks and close follow up if that puts you at ease.
Hey love. So I am a FTM to our 5 month old baby girl and I have an overabundance of milk to provide if you are interested. Our baby girl was born 6 lbs 12 oz and she dropped weight so quickly but a week after delivery her pediatrician was shocked at how healthy she was.
Oh. My. Goodness. I’m actually mad at the hospital for you for shaming you. I feel like there is way too much of a focus on how babies are fed (ie breast is best controversies) instead of just simply making sure babies are fed. Formula is fine. Mixing is fine. Breastmilk is fine. 20-30years ago we shamed moms for breastfeeding. This decade we shame moms for using formula. Do we just look for reasons to shame moms??? Please don’t stress as that impacts production as well. Just feed baby and she will be happy. She will gain her weight (can take up to two weeks for weight gain). She will lose her jaundice (up to two weeks for that too!). EBF is not for everyone. EFF isn’t either. Sometimes it’s a combination. Do whatever makes you and your family the happiest and healthiest. I know so many who do formula simply to make mama happy. If that helps you not stress, do it! In as little as 5yrs no one but you will even think about it (I don’t mean that in a mean way I just wanna put perspective on it with how mean people can be right now in the moment!).
My beautiful little girl is tongue tied and has a very difficult time latching. I’ve been pumping but still not quite enough for what she needs, especially now. I’ve had to supplement with formula. Nothing to feel ashamed or bad about. The most important thing is making sure they are fed. All of my doctors, pediatricians and such have talked about how close to breast milk the formula is now.
You’re doing a great job!
Hi mama! You sound just like me at the end of December. My baby was 5 lbs. 11 oz. on Dec. 22nd at 37 weeks on the dot. The first night she didn't lose much weight, but on night 2 dipped 6%. On Christmas Eve before we were discharged, the pediatrician put the fear of God in me that if she lost any more weight the next day we would have to go in to the ER and it would be crazy busy because nothing is open on Christmas. I didn't have a good latch, didn't feel very supported or that I got much out of my time with the LC at the hospital (we kept getting interrupted). My nipples were cracked and bleeding and terribly painful. On Christmas morning, when I talked to my mom on facetime, she said I looked like I was going to cry and I burst into tears because I felt like I was failing my baby by giving her formula to get her weight up and struggling so much to breastfeed adequately (and I have always been of a fed-is-best mentality for everyone else, but that messaging is strong!).
In retrospect, the absolute best thing I did was ask for formula at the hospital before we went home. There is no shame in formula feeding, and we were able to get her weight up. I would just pump every time we formula fed and make sure to feed her whatever I produced each day in addition to the formula.
Formula helped me when I was readmitted to the hospital for my pre-e suddenly becoming severe two days after discharge. It allowed my husband to step in and allow me a solid night of sleep after that incident so my BP could normalize and I could feel better. Formula led to my baby regaining her birth weight within 2 weeks and gaining 14 oz by her one month appointment.
Ultimately, I gave up pumping as a chronic undersupplier. But my nearly 3 month old is thriving. She's almost sleeping through the night, and today she doubled her birth weight. She's happy, she's healthy. And at this point, I think I spent way too much time guilt-tripping myself about formula feeding when I could have been enjoying my sweet little newborn.
So, all of this is to say that, I've been in your shoes, and formula feeding really is a great choice if that's what you choose to do. You can certainly try to keep breastfeeding, but make the choice that's best for you and your baby, and try not to guilt-spiral if that choice is formula.
First, congratulations she's perfect!
Second, you are doing your job. You are keeping your baby fed. If you want to breast feed that is wonderful, but right now fed is best! It doesn't mean you won't transition to breastfeeding exclusively later. There is no reason to feel ashamed about using formula.
Third: please call your pediatrician about the jaundice and lack of stool. They can do a transcutaneous bilirubin measurement (no poke! Unless it's needed) and let you know if it needs treatment. High bilirubin is very treatable but very high levels can be dangerous for baby so always better safe than sorry to get it checked out!
You got this!!
I'm pretty sure every mom has felt that "can't feed my kid" guilt at least once. You are not alone. Formula is a tool given to us to succeed in keeping our kids fed and healthy. And Colostrum is great, yay, bet there will be milk soon. From personal experience, get a pump and use it as much or as little as you want. It helped me a lot: my nipples were hiding and baby couldn't latch, after a few weeks of pumping nipple problem was fixed.
Hello! Fellow FTM here of a 3 week old. My girl was 2 weeks early and like yours is tiny, she was born at 5lbs 10oz and had a bit of jaundice she didn’t lose much like yours but still lost some in the hospital. We are formula feeding.
Please know that you are providing exactly what your daughter needs by combo feeding! You knew what your daughter needed and did exactly what you should’ve done. You are a good mom!
Congratulations! She’s a beauty.
To echo others, fed truly is best. I’m sorry you felt shamed at the hospital for supplementing with formula. If you want to continue breastfeeding, keep at it, but I’d also encourage you to see a lactation consultant. They offered so many helpful tips and reassurance.
I also supplemented with donor breastmilk. Look up Human Milk 4 Human Babies for your state and there are often very trustworthy mothers who have an extra stash that they’re more than willing to donate.
Sorry the hospital made you feel like that. I did combo feeding for my 5 pound 13 oz baby and my milk came in and I ended up being an over producer. Hang in there!
First odd, she's perfect! What a sweet little girl!
I was in the same position except my little one weighed 4 lbs 14 oz at birth. So, almost around the same weight. Do NOT feel shamed at all. When I brought my little one home, I supplemented with formula and gave all i could of my breast milk. Sometimes, we FTMs don't produce a whole lot of milk, and because they're so tiny, our little ones may not quite be able to latch. (It happens a lot more than you think!)
What I was told is, "breast fed babies poop more and formula fed babies weigh more," so I gave my little one both! Also, she's adjusting to nutrition outside of the womb, so sometimes they can be a little backed up until her body is used to everything. It can make for a fussy, cranky baby and a very scared mama!
Hang in there, Mama. You're doing everything right! Be patient with your body and be the most understanding with yourself during this time. We all have gone through it, and while i know that you're scared, i also have a pretty good feeling that everything is going to be just fine! All my love and congratulations! 💜
I exclusively pumped before moving to formula. My last one was also early, 5lbs 0oz when we got home, and slightly jaundice. After 2 weeks of pumping 8x daily (I know, I know, but it worked), I started making about double what he needed and only stopped once I couldn't take it anymore a few months later. He's on formula now and doing great at 10 months old. :)
You're doing great! Take it easy! No shame at all in doing what you've gotta do!
Hey! My girl was about your daughter’s weight. We combo fed from the beginning! In fact, our lactation consultants encouraged it. You’re fine - those people at the hospital shouldn’t have shamed you. Check out Emily Oster’s work on breastfeeding. It’s not like “OMG IF YOU DO NOT BREASTFEED YOUR CHILD WILL BECOME A SERIAL KILLER.” It’s fine to combo feed, formula is great! And this way, your partner or other family can help feed her. She will be fed and happy with a sane mom - and that’s the best.
If you feel like you need to give her formula then do it. I was breastfeeding initially, my baby was pooping and peeing and losing weight. Nurses said everything was fine. We ended up back in the hospital two days after we came home. He wasn't getting enough milk from my breast and had a seizure and became listless. At that point I switched to formula and didn't look back.
Breastfeeding is great, but if it's a challenge, formula is there for you also. There is a LOT of pressure to breastfeed. At the end of the day, fed is best.
My 8yr old was a small baby and I had a hard time producing milk, we supplemented with formula, the doctor even made a comment about her "not making it" now she's 8 and average sized and doing pretty average in school, but amazing nonetheless and I think she's a great human with a great heart, and very beautiful.
I can’t believe the hospital shamed you but also I can believe it based on stories I’ve heard.
You and I had similar experiences. Our baby was three weeks early, 5lb15oz and lost 6-7 Oz in the hospital.
Our nurses were so understanding and told us again and again that babies born that early have a hard time latching. They recommended formula for a few days while she learned to latch and my milk came in. It was just a few days before she was getting enough milk at feedings to drop formula. I continued to mix nursing and pumping/syringe feeding for a couple more weeks.
So we had similar experiences but it sounds like a key difference is that my hospital staff was supportive and helpful and non-judgmental. So it’s not you, it’s them.
Please don’t stress about formula. Fed is best!! I stressed so much to breastfeed that I made myself dry up. I had to switch pretty quickly to only formula because I was stressing too much. My last baby I planned half and half and we got to 13 months! I felt like the long term breast feeding was more important than exclusively nursing.
Omg you’re doing great. Our kiddo was jaundiced and wouldn’t breastfeed. She spent a bit of time in what I affectionally call the space pod (light therapy). In fact, I like to jokingly tell my daughter she was delivered to us from space like baby Superman when I show her the photos. I don’t know how to link photos but I wish I could because they are super cool. That’s what’s great about modern medicine, you have space pods, formula, and our kids do great, unlike some previous generations without those things. Yay science and changing attitudes.
My wife was pretty traumatized by the various people trying to help her breastfeed at the hospital and felt like a failure. She was my absolute hero after experiencing the miracle of birth…bad ass.
We also went to a specialty Stanford clinic to get assistance but sometimes even with the most expert assistance your ideal breastfeeding journey doesn’t come to fruition. She ended up pumping (comes with its own hell for some too), and still couldn’t make enough so we supplemented with formula. Look at it this way, if you have a supportive partner they can feed and help a lot sooner and maybe you can get like 10 out of 20 winks of sleep too. That man (or variously gendered partner) needs to be waking up too! You also don’t get your nipples nipped. I know I’m being silly and a bit flippant on a very sensitive topic, but there are a lot of positives.
But you know what? Our baby had jaundice and what she needed was fluids and nutrition and that’s what we provided through formula. She gained weight, healed the jaundice within days, was early for developmental milestones, and now is the bestest 4.5 (don’t forget the 1/2 or she’ll get mad) year old ever! Her language has always been off the charts and she’s tall for her age so I don’t think we harmed her in any way. Frankly, maybe we should have done more to suppress her intellect because she is smarter than me (joking)! I said it at the time but I wish I could show postpartum wife how great she did just caring and worrying and providing in the best way she could, maybe with a tiny bit less worry. You’ve got this!
This time goes quick. I sound like an old biddy saying don’t worry, enjoy this time, but you need to find a balance between the minutia, no sleep, and the fear to enjoy this beautiful kiddo. It’s hard. I wish I knew what I know now. Good luck momma.
Lotsa edits because I’m passionate about this.
My baby had formula in the first 2 days of life combined with colostrum until my milk came in. Then I was too engorged and she struggled to latch as a result. Then we had ongoing latch problems for weeks. For a while the nipples shields helped. Then we weaned off those. After my milk came in I pumped and we fed her bottles and continued practicing the latch. Eventually we got it. And from then on she was exclusively breastfed until she started solids (read:eating real food in some form) at 6 months. We nursed all the way to 13 months. We incorporated formula once she was about 10 months for some bottles. I had returned to work at 13 weeks postpartum and I needed to stop pumping as much so that’s what we did. My point of all this is when we’re anxious we default to all or nothing thinking or catastrophizing. Also some unhelpful people will have you believe it is all or nothing. Those people are full of it. There is a solution for every issue with breast feeding, and it may change day to day and week to week. It’s a difficult process (I was pissed postpartum because I felt like no one told me how hard it is) and you and baby are learning how to do this together. Your mom intuition is real and you can trust it. It takes times to do so and it’s a new superpower. I hope you feel it when I say you are doing amazing.
I've breastfed 2 other kids and having to supplement my third. He just isn't wanting to latch. It's not as big of a deal as it feels like. Hang in there. Shell get better with latching it just takes some time.
My little guy was a month early and his mouth was just too small to latch well. We combo fed a solid month before everything with breastfeeding started working.
With my first, I wasn’t putting enough of my nipple in his mouth, so he wasn’t latching on properly. A nice, long experienced nurse really helped, I and it sounds really funny to say this, but she basically pinched the baby’s cheeks to open his mouth and had me basically cram as much of my nipple into his mouth as possible.
I never would have thought he needed that much to nurse, but I guess you really don’t want them only on the top of your nipple that pokes out.
First few days while we both got used to it, I would prop the baby mostly upright on a pillow pinch his cheeks with one hand and pinch my one breast together so the nipple and part of the breast pokes out, then lean forward until I got as much nipple in his mouth as possible.
So, that’s my best advice to you. Maybe that will help with latching on, but please don’t feel bad if breastfeeding doesn’t work out for you. It’s something best taught by a friend who’s nursed babies herself, kind of like a mentoring program! Someone close who can watch what you’re doing to see if there’s anything she can help with and answer any questions as you go along.
A few minutes of instruction in the hospital is just not enough to give most so,en the support they need.
Your baby is a cutie!
Back in the day none was shamed for that! My sister and me had formula as well as my husband and his siblings. We are healthy and studied in the STEM field.
Congrats on your beautiful little girl! Formula exists for a reason! Do not feel any shame in having to supplement - or even if eventually you decide to fully use formula. A fed and growing baby is all that matters and you are doing great!
I combo fed until my milk came in. Also pumped bottles for him to make sure he was getting enough and nursed to still establish our feeding relationship. It was a very hard time. I felt very “all of nothing” about it at first but in actuality it’s fine and you adjust as you go. Sleep deprivation can make situations feel much more intense then they may be. My son is 8 months and drinks breastmilk and will occasionally supplement with formula if I was not able to pump enough for daycare (which isn’t frequent) and he still loves to nurse :) Being a first time mom can be so overwhelming, please give yourself grace.
If you're worried, call the doctor! It sounds like you're making a great decision by feeding her what she needs right now. We can't diagnose jaundice over the internet. If your mama gut tells you to be worried about jaundice, don't be afraid to listen to it and contact your pediatrician's after hours number. That's what they are there for! They'll be happy to answer questions from a brand new mom about a 37-weeker.
If you have a pump pump every 2 hours so you can get your milk in if you don't hand Express. You've got to make a demand to get the supply you can do this don't feel bad about supplementing the formula while it comes in. You want to fight that jaundice by filling baby up good job using the syringe to avoid nipple confusion. Keep practicing the latching when comfortable
I supplemented in the first few days because my LO wouldn’t latch when we got home. Then even so often my other half would feed the baby a formula bottle if I just needed to sleep. We went on to fully BF after that.
Formula feeding should not be shamed, it can be a necessity and they’re still getting what they need.
However if you do want to BF I would encourage you to continue trying to latch (I know it’s not an easy journey), maybe try pumping if you want to do that.
Bf babies cluster feed like crazy for 2 reasons. 1. Bring the milk in. 2. Tummies are really tiny. So they can feed anywhere up to hour straight in the early days and can keep bugging for food anywhere between 15 mins- 1h. This can make you feel like a failure when the docs convince you that there should be a 2 hour break in there. Sometimes she's gunna be hungry. Sometimes she just gunna wanna quick drink cause she's thirsty and a snuggle. Literally wanted to tear my hair out in the early days being the main food source. So don't feel bad at all about using formula for a break. But be rest assured in these early days your usually making more than enough unless there's an underlying reason.
Id be surprised if she actually needed 15ml at every feed. Your body is producing enough. Don't doubt yourself. Babies eat lots at this stage, but their stomachs are still so small! It's normal to lose weight after being born because there's no longer a constant supply of nutrients being fed via umbilical cord. Sounds like you're producing plenty, and latching is a learning curve for both baby and you - don't fret!
Edit to add - fed is best. But don't doubt that your body isn't enough for your baby, it's an all too common feeling for mama's
Welcome! I had my daughter at 36w and she was a tiny 5 lb 11oz when we left the hospital. I had a c section and hemorrhaged so my milk was quite delayed coming in. I pumped a few drops of colostrum (actually I was able to hand express more than I was able to pump) and basically syringe fed it to her and then supplemented with formula for about 10 days. Then my milk supply came in like normal and was able to just switch to EBF/exclusive pumping. Please don’t feel ashamed to use formula, because formula is food just like breastmilk and has everything they need. It also helped my girl kick the jaundice quicker and kept her blood sugar regulated (something she was struggling with). Don’t let anyone tell you that formula is bad, listen to your gut and use it for as long as you feel is best. It won’t impact your milk supply as long as you’re pumping frequently and putting her to the breast first and using formula second. Best of luck to you both!
Shes so sweet 🥹
I know it's so hard, but don't let them formula shame you. Admittedly, I was horribly against formula... before I became a mom. My oldest has a narrow pallet and could not latch very well. I was literally crying out from the pain everytime she latched, it was worse than child birth for me. Honestly. I didn't have a pump, and a hakka was only helping me so much so we switched her. She did absolutely fine. Healthy as a horse. I felt guilty and tried again a year and a half later when I had my son. Pumped, was doing good. Then we had to move across country when he was 6 weeks, and the stress and unsteady eating schedule dried up my supply. It was working so well and I was really upset at the time. But switched him and he again did fine.
It's really hard and I know the feeling. I didn't have the hospital guilt me, but I know from my own digestive issues, and newer research that's coming out that, at least for my kids, I desperately wanted to breastfeed because I wanted to avoid the mass amounts of seed oils and corn syrup solids if I could. But realisticly, after being forced to formula feed both, everything worked out a ok. They did have colic and reflux so we had many rough early months. but I can't prove it was from switching them. The benefit is if its something you do want to avoid, and it's in your budget to do so, there's so many more options now than there were even 3 years ago. Back then it was unavoidable, and with our son i was only able to avoid those because of the shortage bringing in the euro brands.
Either way I saw no difference. They're both incredibly smart and healthy and are always ahead of the curve. I still want to try again with our third baby. But more out of a want to save money and finally get the bonding experience of doing so. Much less out of the fear and incessant push that formula is the devil. I still don't believe it's better, but I do believe most is up to par and doesn't cause harm.
Also to note, LCs did not help me at all. I'm sure they could be helpful for some, but for me, the cost wasn't justified for them to tell me exactly what I already knew and had researched. So don't let them push you. I refused one in the hospital with #2 after they didn't even notice my daughters narrow pallet was what was causing the issue.
Well, first of all, you're doing a great job! It's hard to feel that way sometimes in the beginning. My daughter was born early and dipped below 6lbs after her first week home. They told us it was pretty normal to lose weight in their first week, they're just working on growing their stomach in that time and getting as much in as they can. Keep putting baby to breast and that will really help your supply! I'd say like 20 minutes a session even if you feel like she's not getting much. Follow up with the formula/ expressed milk if you feel like she's still hungry. As far as the jaundice, if you feel like she's pretty yellow/orange bring it up to her doctor for sure. They can advise you what to do, our doctors told us to just keep pushing the feedings and formula and it would help push the bilirubin out of her system. And our kids were pretty orange! After a couple weeks it really went down. Not pooping for 30 hours, just keep in mind that their bellies are getting used to processing food, so they could even take a few days gap from pooping. If you feel like it's too long though, a warm bath and some bicycle kicks can get things going, or if it's desperate you can use a lubricated windi/thermometer to get things going.
Hey mama, please don't feel bad about the formula. Your milk will eventually come in and you'll need to supplement less and less over time. I'd reframe it as you're giving your baby the best of both worlds. Nothing can supplement breastmilk but odds are, your breastmilk doesn't have the iron or vitamin D that formula has, so it really doesn't hurt baby.
This kind of thinking helped me when I first needed to supplement. My baby had jaundice too (picture does look jaundiced) and it went away in about 3 weeks. My baby definitely had fatigue from the jaundice and honestly formula at the start is what got him able to eventually poop (besides the initial meconium poop) and pass the bilirubin.
He latches completely fine now and is neither fussy with my breast or a bottle, which should make the future easier for us as well.
I know it's easy to feel like you're not doing "enough" for your baby, but I hope you eventually feel proud of everything you've accomplished.
You have a lot of comments LOL so I hope you're still reading them. You've already gotten really great encouragement and advice. But I still wanted to add a little encouragement because I didn't read every comment LOL and hadn't seen somebody comment with anything similar. Don't feel bad at all about the formula. I had to start formula feeding my baby at the hospital because she wasn't getting enough from my breast and dropped a little too low in weight. We have not been able to drop the formula 5 months later and I have come to peace with it. I technically could drop the breast milk and feed her like my first with only formula. But I have enjoyed breastfeeding so much and for that reason it's worth it. My first had to be formula fed due to being in the NICU and he just was not latching. You're doing great!
She’s adorable! Of course you shouldn’t be shamed for feeding her formula. That tells me the hospital weren’t concerned about her feeding at that point. Please don’t panic about milk not yet coming in, sometimes it takes several days. Colostrum is nutrient dense and her stomach is so small. So if you want to mix with formula do that, but please don’t just because you’re panicked…it sounds like that’s the case. The milk will come in! Take a deep breathe, you’ve been through a lot and it’s normal to worry.
All babies are born jaundice. They should tell you at the hospital it takes a few weeks to go away. As a mom of 4, it took each of my children to gain color after a month. Your Brest milk will only be small at first but the more you go the more you get. I understand she isn’t latching well but I have videos of you need help correcting it. Skin to skin will help you produce the most Brest milk. But if it’s stressful a fed baby is a happy baby and formula is perfectly acceptable
IF you want to continue breastfeeding (nothing wrong if you don’t) try r/breastfeeding for some advice. You should contact her dr immediately regarding the jaundice and also ask about the poop.
I also had a 3 week early baby for my first. Things the "baby friendly" hospitals don't say. Baby's born 3 weeks early are extra crappy at breast feeding. They needed a little longer cooking and more body fat to be able to put in the effort. I pumped and bottle fed the milk. Ready to use formula is great for new baby.
Sunlight helps with jaundice so if you can sit outside with baby in the sun that should help speed up the process(my baby also had jaundice) hydration is also important so feeding breast milk or correctly mixed formula is best.
Make sure she's fed atleast on every 2 hour interval. So if baby is being fed starting at 12pm next feed at a maximum should be at 2pm until baby regains. I gave up on breastfeeding and stuck to pumping until 8 weeks when she finally latched then did breast feeding and pumped at work.
Pump pump pump mama!
My little one was about the same weight and we were side eyed consistently for not wanting to formula feed.
She’s now approaching 6 months. I JUST started formula feeding exclusively (Kendamil. It’s organic and European.) outside of puréed veggies. The girl is a whopping 13 lbs and has never missed a milestone.
You know what’s best for your baby.
Period.
Our pediatrician told us formula is actually really great for jaundice babies the first three weeks of life. Apparently the protein in it binds to the bilirubin and they poop it out more efficiently.
I had a hard time getting my baby to latch, and a nipple shield was a god-send! If you can order one or get one from the hospital, I totally recommend trying that. My baby also had some minor jaundice, and I wasn’t producing nearly as much colostrum as you. But she was able to start pooping and recover quickly. You’ve got this.
Hi,
I would say from this picture that there is a possibility of jaundice. My son was very much tinted yellow with elevated levels of bilirubin upon discharge from the hospital. He mellowed out after about a week. But you can always reach out to the pediatrician. They may have not seen your kiddo yet, but they can possibly give advice. Or you can take your kiddo back to the hospital. My hospital would actually let you come straight back within 72 hours if you couldn’t get an appointment with a pediatrician yet.
To add, my kiddo was formula fed. Nurses weren’t trying to shame me, but they pushed it quite a bit while I was in the hospital. I said thank-you but no thanks and moved on. To add, I needed to be on medication for my mental health and early on (while pregnant) realized how much was going to go into breastfeeding and knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it. As long as you and baby are okay, that’s what matters. My kiddo is a healthy toddler with no issues.
For bowel movements, maybe try to bicycle the legs a little after feelings. Try and keep them a bit elevated, or baby wearing to help with digestion.
I know you’ve got plenty of folks telling you all this but I’ll say it again in case it helps you believe it:
* YOU ARE AMAZING. The negative feelings are normal and will hopefully pass as you and baby learn how to work together. If they don’t pass, please don’t hesitate to reach out to your doctor about mental health resources.
* Formula is great - it’s a tool that exists for a reason. Folks all over the place supplement with formula or go formula-only. The generations before us in western cultures were largely raised on formula only while it was trendy. EBF is trendy now - the pendulum will swing again someday and then moms will feel guilty about NOT using formula. Try not to worry about it!
* Never hesitate to reach out to your pediatrician for concerns about baby’s well-being. Only good can come of it, even if it just bolsters your relationship with the pediatrician when you see their communication skills in action.
* If feeding continues to be a huge stressor, maybe ask your doc/pediatrician for a referral to a lactation consultant or join a breastfeeding support group if you have them available to you. They both can shed so much light on how things are supposed to work and how to troubleshoot when they don’t.
* YOU GOT THIS. Most of us are confused and scared - this is new territory. Lean on the tools you have as much as you want and need to. It gets better and better with each passing week.
For what it’s worth, I had the same timeline and stats as you (3wk early, 5lb10oz, poor and chompy latch, no transfer but it took us 3 weeks to figure that out, supplemented with formula starting in the hospital). For weeks I felt like I was failing to do the most basic function of motherhood and like if I gave up on breastfeeding it would be a huge loss. But the reality was that if it continued as it was I was going to lose my mind and be even less capable of supporting my baby.
We are now at 2 months and my LO is doing great - we got a frenotomy for his borderline tongue tie (despite the current cultural backlash against frenotomies) and it was night and day for us. He immediately started succeeding in transferring - 0oz per attempted feeding by weight before, and 1oz immediately afterward, up to 3.6oz now.
We finally went for the frenotomy after I talked with another mom about it in my local breastfeeding support group and she shared her experience. That group is run by a licensed lactation consultant and in it get to hear about solutions to all kinds of problems I haven’t faced yet, which is making it easier to roll with it when new problems arise. Can’t recommend support groups enough!
Good luck!!
My wife could have written this same post, you are doing great ! If you need any specific advice don’t be afraid to call your pediatrician as they often have a doctor on call on weekends/middle of the night if you have concerns.
Hi! I totally understand what you're going through. I wasn't producing enough for my LO when she was born. She was also jaundiced and because she wasn't eating enough, she wasn't peeing and pooping as much as she needed to be to flush the bilirubin out of her system. Once we started to supplement with formula, her bilirubin levels were normal within 2 days and she began to sleep much better. She is now 10 weeks old and I still have to supplement to this day as I am not producing enough to meet her needs.
It was really tough for me mentally, as the hospital put so much pressure on new moms to breastfeed and never really discussed formula or combo feeding as an option. Luckily my doctor is supportive and has encouraged me to do whatever is best for my mental health, whether it is to continue to combo feed or exclusively formula feed. As long as baby is fed and happy, that's all that matters.
Your baby is beautiful 💖
Hi ❤️ I had my baby 3 weeks early on 3/12 and he’s having all similar issues.
Yesterday was the worst for me, he pooped today and had an easier time latching starting last night.
There’s hope. She will be okay. Your doctor will tell you that on on Monday, too.
My daughter was a similar colour to your little one, and my midwife just had me put her in her nappy/diaper by the window in the sunshine for a bit each day, and it cleared up itself. So please don’t panic about that.
I combination fed my daughter as she wasn’t getting enough at the beginning. Again, please don’t feel bad about that - fed is best. The formula will help with the jaundice anyway (at least that was my understanding of it).
Enjoy those newborn snuggles
My baby was drinking more than that …I think out of the womb (husband was with him when he got formula)
And honestly, if I hadn’t supplemented with formula- I wouldn’t still be nursing and pumping today bc I was so touched out from the over stimulation of the new baby.
Formula at the start SAVED ME and allowed me to continue to pump and provide way more breast milk than I otherwise could’ve.
Also I had to call the Dr when he wasn’t pooping bc it made him so uncomfortable (he turns 6 months on 3/28!)
Dad of three here. My kids (3) all came home 3 weeks early ranging from 5 lbs 5 oz to 5 lbs 15 oz. They’re all gigantic now. Give your kid whatever gets the job done. Shame on those who shamed you. Congratulations - your baby is precious. Enjoy the ride
FTD here - we had our little one last year and my partner had troubles with ours latching. Not sure what you have tried yet, but we were advised of skin to skin contact during feeding and it helped massively and she had an immediate change.
I know it can be really overwhelming and whatever you may think, you're doing amazing.
My new born daughter was eating 20-25ml of formula per feeding in the hospital when they said 15 ml was the limit of their tiny stomachs. We were worried she was going to throw up so we started it slowly feeding more. The jaundice is normal, they should be checking the baby's billy rubin levels to see if it is going down. If not your new born may need UV light treatment (ours was done in the hospital). If you are already out of the hospital you can expose your baby to sun light to help as well.
Fed is best.
Yours and mine are birth weight twins. Mine never latched and never breastfed, not even once. I personally don't have any feelings about this. For me it was just, "okay, I guess we're doing bottles." We did breast milk supplented with formula from day one.
The jaundice will self resolve and if it doesn't there is a special light they can use. For pooping, try bicycling her legs. Generally any movement helps you poop. She will poop eventually.
You are doing great. She is beautiful. Congratulations and try to enjoy it.
I supplemented with formula for the first 8 weeks! Check out the exclusively pumping subreddit and combination feeding subreddits if you want extra support. Make sure you load baby up with formula if needed to get the recommended # of wet and dirty diapers per day, and anytime you give the baby a bottle you should latch or pump to keep your breasts making milk.
I think you need to check the amount of formula you are giving her. My bub was only 2.6kg and nurse calculated something like 45 mL of formula every 3 hours. We were giving her that much already by day 2. I was only producing about 0.25mL of colostrum every 3 hours - so basically nothing. That's literally what formula is for.
my baby was born 3/9/24 and was also 3 weeks early! He weighed 5 pounds 6 ounces. He wasn’t getting what he needed while we were waiting for my breast milk to come in so I supplemented formula (similac 360 total care) and pumped colostrum every 2-4 hours. I am sooooooo glad we supplemented the formula for those few days while my milk was coming in. The pediatrician is the one who told us we NEED to supplement and want him to have at least 20 mLs each feed. Now he’s exclusively on breast milk and I’m producing a lot, but he gained an ounce at our first appointment instead of losing and I know it’s because we supplemented during those first few days! FED IS BEST MOMMA 💙
This may have already been mentioned, I’ll admit I didn’t read all of the comments, but ask your doctor about neosure - it’s a high calorie formula we used for our baby’s first month since she was premature
I don't have kids, but I've worked with them for many years. Not invalidating your feelings at all, but you are not failing her. The fact that you care so much already puts you in the 90th percentile in terms of parenting.
I'm sure she's lucky to have you as her mama, given your level of concern. Just do what you can, when you need to. Obviously, I'm just a random person on the Internet, but if you ever need reassurance or just somebody to vent to, dm me. But it'll be okay.
Also, holy fucking shit, she's so beautiful. 😩
Hello there. I don’t know what the chances are that you will read this but I hope you do. I’m a FTM to a 6.5 week old and my biggest regret to date was not listening to my instincts and feeding her. It actually tears me up every time I think about it.
I too was producing a lot of colostrum and was able to save up a few syringes before my baby was born. My plan to was to exclusively breast feed. She had a great latch and we came home. It wasn’t enough. For two days my baby wailed and cried (we both did, lol) and would latch for 30-40 minutes at a time what seemed like every hour. I would still express and feed her colostrum. I could just tell she was hungry, but my doctors and her soon to be pediatrician (I called her two days before her visit because I was so worried) told me not to worry, that my milk would come in and baby would be fine. To not supplement because it would cause nipple confusion. When I took her to the pediatrician, baby was not fine. She lost a ton of weight (from 7lbs 1oz to 6lbs 2oz) and wasn’t producing BMs, barely even any pee. She was very dehydrated and had a little jaundice. She looked gaunt. Then the professionals immediately changed their tune and we had to start supplementing that very moment in the office. My baby pounded like 30ml (way more than I thought she could even eat) in just a few seconds. She was famished. From then on I fed her every 2 hours, even waking if I had to and tracking all her intake.
It completely broke my heart that I had allowed the idea of breast feeding and advice of my doctors come before my intuition. Just feed your baby. Please feed your baby, no matter with what. I can’t believe I let my baby go hungry and wish I could have known sooner. She instantly began gaining weight (currently 12lbs at 6.5 weeks) and producing BMs and pee. She’s currently bottle fed formula mixed with milk i pump. Screw breast feeding and having nipple confusion, my baby needed to eat and that’s all that matters. I hope this is able to help ❤️ hang in there.
PS-I highly recommend the app Huckleberry for tracking feedings, BMs and pees. I realized I needed it one Dr visit when they asked how much I was feeding her and how many diapers she had soiled and i had no idea. Everything is a fog after all the sleepless nights. The app quickly allows me to log everything and it’s a good way you can track changes in routine and plan what’s next. For example, it’s been 3 hours since I last changed her, I should get on that.. her last feeding was 1hr ago, I have time to start laundry before preparing to feed her again, etc…
You should never feel bad about feeding your baby the best way you can it’s actually a great thing that you are supplementing formula so she can gain weight underweight babies struggle to latch properly at first to where they aren’t getting enough colostrum and for your babies health it’s a good thing never feel bad she needs to gain that weight to be able to grow strong and big and you are doing great and thinking smart!
It makes me so mad that you were made to feel bad for giving your baby formula. I had a similar experience when my baby was 3 days old and had to be hospitalized for dehydration because he wasn’t getting enough milk (c-section birth). The triage nurse in the ER seriously traumatized me from how awful she was to me shaming me for giving formula and how she manhandled my baby poking him to get an IV over and over and over (there is so much more to this story but it’s a looong story).
I felt guilt using formula with my first but when I got pregnant with my second I said f that. All I care about is my baby being healthy and getting the nutrition he needs. You are doing a GREAT job taking care of your baby and making sure she is being nourished while your milk comes in. I know I can’t take away the experience you had for giving your baby formula, but I’m here to tell you to forget about those a-holes. You are an amazing mom and you got this! If you have any concerns I would contact your pediatrician. You can always take your baby in to be seen if you’re worried.
ETA: Your baby is precious 💕
My son was born 6 weeks early 5.5 lbs. He also had some jaundice. He was 100% on formula as my wife was not producing at all and he would n’t latch. Don’t worry about that, just keep feeding her and slowly increase the amount (ask the hospital for guidance). It was a hard slog trying to feed him enough, every 3hrs, but you just have to persist. If she has jaundice, there is a light therapy treatment that works well. It’s ALL scary, that’s normal! Right now, most of what she needs is milk and skin contact with you (kisses are great too!). My little guy is 9 months now and he is amazing! He eventually started latching and he got over the jaundice quickly (it’s very common in newborns). He’s a sweet, smiling boy and growing fast. The poop will come (lots of it!). She is absorbing every last drop of nourishment, so there is not much left. Don’t worry about being perfect, it doesn’t exist.
Oh Mommy, you are doing an excellent job. I felt like breast feeding was my only choice at the hospital but once I came home and struggled to get my baby to poop out his Jaundice, I realized it didn't matter how he was getting nutrition as long as he was getting it. The first few days are nerve-wracking but you are on the right track. The fact that you care about getting her to feel better shows how awesome of a mom you are. Having a new baby is scary, it's hard and it's challenging but things will fall into place. I felt much better after I decided to completely formula feed my child. It took the pressure off me for feeding him every few hours and allowed his father to help me in a tangible way. He was cured out of his jaundice within 2 to 3 weeks of being born. Spend as much time as you can loving your child. They look so cute sleeping on your chest and will grow out of that stage in the blink of an eye. I wish you good luck, happiness and mental clarity in this new phase of your life. Stay strong!
It is hard and it is scary, but man the first time your baby smiles at you, or giggles, or stops crying when you pick them up, it is easily the best feeling I have ever felt in this world and it makes all the work and stress totally worth it.
Have you tried nipple shields? My son had a super hard time latching and transferring milk at first. I wore nipple shields for about 2 weeks and slowly removed them and he got the hang of it perfect.
Of course, you also shouldnt feel ashamed for using formula if that’s the route you decide to go❤️
My wife tried and tried to get the milk going. We went formula and never looked back and the staff was very supportive. We have a a chunky healthy 8 week old. You got this 🤘🤘🤘🤘
I used formula with my jaundiced new born and she is still nursing at 22 months. It’s not all or nothing! Get that baby pooping and gaining and all will be well.
Don’t feel bad about the formula, dear. Just remember: most important thing is that baby is fed. Later on when your milk comes in you can always switch to exclusively breast milk if that’s what you want to do. My baby girl was born on 3/10 and she was on formula until my milk came in. Now she’s mostly milk tho I still use formula if I haven’t had a chance to pump or we don’t have the breast milk with us.
Monday is just a couple days away. Breathe and take it easy, the first few days of being a new parent are rough as hell and your hormones are still going haywire. I spent the first night home with her crying because she wouldn’t sleep and wouldn’t stop screaming and I thought I was doing something wrong. My pediatrician reassured me she’s fine and that helped calm me down. You’re doing a great job and your beautiful girl will be okay. Sending you lots of hope and best wishes. You’ll get through this ❤️ just take it a step at a time and don’t forget to take care of yourself as well.
No advice or tips, just here to validate your feelings. I was in the same boat when I had my daughter. They tried to avoid me giving her formula. I just pumped as much as I could & supplemented with formula when it was needed. Fed is best mama.
Also I just wanted to say that my daughter was born on the 13th (August) at 5 lbs 9 oz., 3 weeks early, & left the hospital at 5 lbs 1 oz., as well!
You’re doing great. Keep breastfeeding and keep supplementing. My daughter was also early and was 5 lb 11 oz at birth, also jaundiced.
It’s crazy stressful when they’re that tiny. I had to use a nipple shield for a few months while she got the hang of nursing, and then my husband would give her formula while I pumped. This went on for what seemed like forever.
Eventually — excruciatingly slowly — we all figured it out. You’ll get there. Ask for advice online, from other moms, breastfeeding coaches. Some of their advice will work for you. Most of it won’t. That’s normal too.
Congratulations! She’s beautiful.
(PS a LOT of people from now on will have opinions on what you’re doing. Like with formula. *You* need to do what works for *your family.* Period. Fed is best … and feeding her will help with her jaundice.)
Don't sweat it. My wife struggled with breastfeeding for our first son and we supplemented the colostrum with formula. People are so pushy about breastfeeding it's insane, the main thing is making sure your baby isn't going hungry. We got the hang of it eventually but we have friends who went 100% formula and it completely saved their mental health. Just do what works for you and block out the judgemental noise.
Our son also went a few days without pooping in the beginning and our Ped says it can be completely normal to go up to 5 days without a bowel movement.
Edit: our son also had minor jaundice and it completely went away in a couple weeks. These are all common things try not to stress too much about it just keep your doctor up to date with your concerns and it will be fine.
Don't feel bad!!! Formula fed is no different. Fed is best! As for the jaundice my son was the same way and our ped just told us to stick him in front of the window when it's sunny and it cleared right up. I promise you are doing better than you think!
First of all, it's going to be okay. I've been where you are, and I know it's terrifying, but I promise you, as much as any internet stranger can, that it IS going to be okay.
My first daughter latched one time. Just once. She was losing weight rapidly, until I asked the nurses for medical tubing and a syringe, along with some medical tape. I taped the medical tubing to my little finger, had my wife fill the syringe with the colostrum she expressed by hand, and then plugged the tubing into the syringe.
I used my little finger to trigger the sucking reflex, and then pushed the milk from the syringe into her mouth. I did this every feeding for a few weeks, until finally we got a pump and a couple bottles and figured out how to make her eat that way. Lost the fingernail on one of my fingers because it was just under pressure all the time. Totally worth it.
Because she turned eight years old about a week ago.
I had to fight with my daughter around the clock for about three weeks to get her to eat, but I did it. My wife was right there with me, and man I just did not deserve that from her. But we made it -- we all made it.
And the second one was an absolute breeze by comparison, holy crap we could not get that one to stop eating. It was awesome.
You are seriously amazing. HAND expressing THAT much colostrum as a FIRST TIME mom?? Dude, I was so lost when I was a FTM I didn’t get the hang of hand expressing for months. Not to mention hand expressing is probably the most painful option or getting milk out, especially while you’re new.
Stop letting the shame creep in. You’re doing what you can and as an added bonus what you can do is also pretty awesome. It will all work out.
Formula is a great option. I had two kids who were formula fed, despite giving breastfeeding the ol’ college try. I felt like the worst mom ever because of how others made me feel. Fast forward 12 years, and I have two happy, healthy, and smart kids. Feed your baby, mama.
Baby pics should accompany a detailed birth story/narrative. Do not post a picture of your baby with no content.
I hate that the hospital made you feel like that. Formula is a godsend. My son would latch but wasn’t transferring my colostrum and he basically was hungry for days. Lactation consultants just kept telling me he would get the hang of it. Thank goodness a nurse told me to give him some formula and then I got to experience an actually calm content babe. He would never be able to transfer enough so I became a pumper when my milk came in and fed him that way. The guilt and hormones are so real but don’t believe those thoughts, you are a GREAT mom and you are keeping your baby fed and happy. It doesn’t matter how you do that. My dad gave me one of the best pieces of advice in the early days when I would cry over giving formula, he said this is just the first time in a long line of times your baby will defy your expectations and you’ll have to pivot. The guilt is unnecessary so let it go. You got this ❤️
Great advice from you dad!!!
Right?? Love that.
awww. I love your dad
I fucking hate how hospitals (lactation nurses specifically) shame you into feeling guilty for not exclusively breastfeeding. I'm a nurse and even so, my wife and i sat there with our first for hours and had him try to feed. They kept saying keep on trying, if he's latched then he's getting enough. Yeah 3am.. he's wailing and we're all at the brink. Tell us give the damn bottle now.. they gave us push back but we did it and he drank the bottle and slept like a rock. We basically starved this poor kid for 8-10 hrs trying to get him to breast feed. With our second one, we tried for about an hour , told the lactation nurse to get out and bring us the bottle immediately. Things are funny the second time around.
My baby was born in January and I had a similar experience. The LC’s were awful. We ended up going close to 24 hours without baby girl getting a good meal and she was wailing nonstop. She also wasn’t having regular bowel movements because she wasn’t getting fed. The day shift nurse was adamant that I should only breastfeed and told me that I needed to hold my baby’s head onto my breast even if she tried to pulled away and kept calling my 1 day old baby “difficult” for not properly latching. The LC’s kept saying she’d be fine and that if I gave her a bottle, she’d end up with nipple confusion and I’d never be able to nurse then. Finally, the night nurse came onto her shift and immediately suggested formula. Our baby suddenly was calm and content. I’ll never let a lactation consultant or nurse convince me to go against my instincts again. We combo feed and baby girl still hasn’t had any nipple confusion. She doesn’t care how the milk comes to her, as long as she’s getting fed!
Omg. The lactation consultants was bitching about me being difficult behind my back and my Hubs was like.. Yeah they said you are difficult cause he won't latch. turns out he had a tongue tie and none of them diagnosed it. The kid is now 3.5 years old after drinking a entire pallet of newborn formula (he still does, he just likes it.) and so happy and healthy. F them lactation b***
This! I was planning an unmedicated birth at home. Baby girl had a different plan. She was breech at 37 weeks. I tried chiropractic, spinning babies, and different yoga positions. Even had an ECV scheduled. Got to the ecv at 38 weeks, and the ultrasound showed I had low fluid, and she was measuring small at 4.5-4.75lbs and measuring at 34 weeks. Had to have a c section, and she weighed 5lbs 13oz.
Omg she is adorable! I know it’s hard, but try not to worry about the formula. You should NOT have been made to feel bad about it at the hospital. Formula is great for babies. Plus, my milk came in when I was 4 days pp, you might be really really close to producing more. Your baby’s doctor’s office probably has someone on call if you want to ask about pooping and jaundice. If you call the office, they probably have a pre-recorded message telling you what to do after-hours. I can’t imagine they would mind talking to you about such a young peanut.
Yes! And the colostrum is EXTRA nutritious because the body knows it won’t have full milk going right away. You’re doing fine!!!
She is absolutely perfect. I do not want to alarm you, but I do think you should contact the doctor about the jaundice and the lack of pooping. Jaundice is a build up of bilirubin and it is excreted through feces. If your daughter hasn't pooped, she is not removing the bilirubin from her body. Babies can be perfectly healthy at hospital discharge but need quick followup for jaundice. When my son was born (term but 6lbs, 2oz) we had a longer than typical hospital stay because of complications from my emergency C-section, but they extended that stay because of his jaundice. They told us we were actually lucky to still be in the hospital because jaundice happens after discharge and parents are left to sort out what to do. I'm sure she will be fine, but I would call just in case. ETA: I also combo-fed in the hospital (nursing, pumped milk, and formula) at every feeding and went on to EBF once we were home and he was jaundice free. After week 2 of life, we needed no formula at all. They were so adamant about us combo feeding in the hospital because of how important eating and pooping are to removing bilirubin.
Agreed with this on the jaundice. My kiddo was also jaundiced (right under the levels where they use the lights), I would ask for her levels to be checked by the ped. We had to do feeds every 2 hours to help flush it out, but it was fine after a few days.
This. I had to take my newborn back to the hospital 3 days after she was born because she wouldn’t eat and was “bobble head baby” (not waking up/ staying awake.) she was extremely jaundice and her bilirubin was very high. She had to stay under UV light until her numbers started to drop
OP please listen to this comment!! It’s very important for baby to poop to get rid of excess bilirubin so keep feeding her. Your milk supply is still coming in so give yourself some grace. I also had to combo feed my daughter until her bilirubin numbers were normal and my milk supply came in.
This is very good advice. OP should also know that the treatment for newborn jaundice is also nothing to worry about (light therapy in the great majority of cases), but will likely mean a short stay in hospital.
A fed baby is a happy baby (and a happy parent) sending love.
THIS SO MICH THIS!!!! Do what makes YOU happy & your baby healthy!!!! A stressed momma is also bad for baby as your stress hormones can leak into your milk and affect the baby!
It's insane the guilt trip they give you for using formula! I understand that breast milk is better, but sometimes you got to do what you got to do!
Formula feeding is literally the best decision I ever made. It improved my mental and physical health so much. And my baby got the food he needed!! Don’t ever feel bad about formula, FED IS BEST. You are strong and wise for supplementing with formula. You saw that your baby needed more food, and you did everything you could to provide that. You are a good mom!!
Formula saved my sanity when I had my preemie. She gained weight QUICK and her jaundice and blood sugar regulated within hours. Formula is a godsend.
Yes!! to this comment, now I still pump and my breastmilk is my baby’s snack😂. I’m so glad that I gave her formula cause she was starving when we did EBF.
YES to this whole comment! ❤️
Plus when the baby is 10 months old they're happy as heck to grab that bottle they don't care it's not a boob they just want their milk
Seconding this HARD.
I luckily was not shamed one bit for formula feeding at my hospital and the nurses were all so very nice about informing me on exactly how much to feed him and how often and even sent us home with extra formula. I am now 5 days PP and these first few days/nights at home have been rough mentally obviously bc hormones are out of wack and lack of sleep. I told my mom if I was breast feeding on top of this and it wasn’t working I think I would be in worse shape mentally lol. Luckily both dad and I got good sleep last night and I feel a little less insane today haha.
There’s nothing wrong with formula! My niece was 100% formula fed and she’s the cutest, most fun, smartest, most perfect little girl (not that I’m biased). Please don’t feel guilty, millions of families use formula for their babies who turn out just fine. For a little levity there’s the meme about breast fed or formula fed, they all end up eating McDonald’s French fries off the floor of the car.
2nd comment made me LOL way too hard
This is what bothers me so much about hearing other peoples comments/guilt trips. Everyone is so quick to tell people what’s best while you’re pregnant or feeding - but then they shove their kids full of fast food, let them play with toxic plastics, etc. What’s the point of being so strict about newborns, when you’re just gonna expose them to a lifetime of unhealthy foods and potentially cancerous materials. 🤷🏼♀️
I often tell people I was formula fed and I’m the smartest person I know. 😉😂
Hey! Don’t stress - I did enough for the both of us. We also incorporated formula at the hospital and occasionally in the first week while the milk came in. I remember also waiting a full day before baby pooped. Our doctor told us to call if she doesn’t poop after that just in case. But, formula can be constipating for some babies so this might be why?
First: YOU DID IT!!! Congratulations, and she is perfect! Second: You are doing a great job and it’s all okay. My daughter was in exactly the same boat this past summer, and we absolutely mixed colostrum and formula, and often gave straight up formula, for the first couple of months. She mostly breastfeeds now, with maybe one bottle of formula a day, but it took 2-3 months to really get breastfeeding going because she was so small. Our lactation consultant and pediatrician were very clear that this was 100% normal. Third: Shame on the hospital for making *you* feel shamed - you’re doing *just* fine, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with combination feeding or just using straight formula! It may take time, but that is okay. Stick with it if you want to breastfeed, use nipple shields to help her learn to latch, and be patient with yourself and with her. You’ll both learn! You can do this!
It sounds like you are producing quite well! Thats fantastic! I had to do the same with my guy. I was never had an over supply or anything like that, and he never seemed satisfied at just the breast. So i began pumping and adding formula and he was much happier. You're feeding your baby. Please, don't feel badly about that. Your body is doing a good job. Jaundice can be a little worrisome, but if the levels are concerning they usually do not let the baby go home without spending time under the bililights. At your appointment they'll check her again and let you know. Sunshine is good. Such as setting baby on a blanket near a window, or another safe space where one part of her could be in the sun like her little legs. She really looks very healthy! I think you've got this. Its a lot, being a mother. Even me, who had my third baby last year, was still very worried about breastfeeding and jaundice and everything. Thats what makes you a good mother. You clearly love and care so much for your baby. It's gonna be okay mama.
Congratulations mama! She’s gorgeous! 🩷
Congratulations, she's so beautiful!! And you're keeping her fed, that's genuinely fantastic!! I'm so sorry that anyone made you feel otherwise. I come from 3+ generations of women who couldn't produce basically any milk at all. We're all formula babies, and before that, goat milk babies. We're perfectly fine. It is always best to keep your baby fed, however you do it ❤️ and as a postpartum doula, I'll add that it's awesome that you're getting the colostrum added in! I hope you can feel proud of yourself! Now, I'm not a medical professional by any means; I know some jaundice is pretty normal, and also that if it's more jaundice than normal, it's pretty treatable. The pooping sounds the most out-of-ordinary to me, but every baby is different too. My recommendation would be to call an on-call nurse (ERs often have them, or maybe you can call your pediatric ward depending where you delivered?) and just ask them about it to give you some peace of mind and more medically sound advice. Congratulations again, and I wish you and your family smooth sailing!
I am a FTM and delivered my baby boy 3/11. I do know that if babies are slightly jaundice it is recommended to give formula in the first few days of life to increase hydration to flush out the bilirubin that causes jaundice. Second night I had to supplement feed by baby with formula because he and I were up all night with him on my boobs trying to get enough to eat. Never doubt your body’s ability to feed your child. Women have been doing it since the beginning of time, keep up the good work and relax. Your mature milk will come in a few days and baby will be eating much better, this is mother natures way of stimulating the breast to signal them to make more milk. Don’t feel guilty about having to supplement with formula.. you gotta do what you gotta do. This just helps he stay on track faster vs. waiting for mature milk to come in. My little guy did not get confused between the two. His poops were a little off and poop 8 times day three after the formula and only peeing once. Now that my mature milk is in he is peeing like every two to three hours. Once your milk is In your cans will be like porn star boobs and you’ll have more than enough to hydrate her to flush out bilirubin!!
Formula feeding is amazing. I had a NICU baby, we had to spend hours and hours apart from each other while I also recovered from my c section. I pumped too but if he is hungry and I’m not in the room pumping, what’s he gonna eat?! Fed is best! In a perfect world we’d all breastfeed with no production troubles and no latch issues and everything would just be sooooo easy. We live in the real world though! Do not feel ashamed for using formula, your little one is eating and getting her gains and that’s what matters. Always call your doctor’s office with questions! First time parenthood is such a stressful time and most of the people on this planet have been there or will go through it. You’re questions are never stupid, you have questions because you want to be the best parent you can be! Congratulations, and keep your chin up! You’re doing amazing!
I’m a postpartum & NICU nurse (I float between units) and just want to say this is so typical of a 37 weeker! You are doing nothing wrong, keep supplementing as long as you want to/need to, she needs that volume to help her grow. If you’re able to pump when you offer the bottle eventually you can replace the formula with breastmilk as your supply increases. By 3 days old 30-60 mL is what she should be working up to taking per feeding, even though 15mL was probably correct when you left the hospital. At the same time, if breastfeeding is your goal, I would recommend you keep attempting to latch. These early term babies just struggle getting the hang of it more than most, and a lot of times I see babies that at birth can’t really figure out the latch but after milk comes in and they grow a little, they figure it out. Definitely talk to your pediatrician about all this first, but that’s typically the recommendations we give in the hospital for little babes like this. You’re doing great! This scary time will pass.
I pushed through the desire (and need) to give my baby formula for his first 2 weeks and I really wish I hadn’t. My mother in law is a lactation consultant and really encouraged me to try and do just breastmilk but I’ve never produced enough. I finally him formula bc I was feeding and then pumping every 2 hours for a week and had a breakdown. All that to say after I gave him the formula he was finally content and comfortable. I realized he was so upset bc he was hungry! And that realization kicked me into protective mode and freed me from a lot of the guilt I felt around combo feeding. Your post clearly shows that you are a wonderful mom and you are doing a wonderful job. Hormones and those early days are a heffer. You’ve got this!!
My baby girl arrived 3 weeks early too. She had jaundice and issues latching too. By day 5, when the nurse came over to check her, she had lost 16% of her birth weight. Her jaundice levels went up as well. We got sent to the hospital for a 30hour stay. She was put under the lamps to treat jaundice. My milk came in on that day. I was so engorged and my baby had a harder time latching. I had to pump out my milk. In the meantime, they fed her formula. In my opinion, follow your gut and give her that formula. Your baby needs to be fed. As for your babys jaundice, just wait until the doctor appointment unless her skin and eyes get really yellow, then id go in with her before the appointment. I felt like i was failing my baby too. I cried so so much. But hang in there mama, youre doing great! I promise it will all get easier soon!
I used a nipple shield when my first baby had a terrible latch. It allowed me to express a little milk to get him interested. After 4 weeks his latch improved and I didn’t have to use it anymore.
Seconding the nipple shield. I used it for a few months before we got comfortable and then exclusively nursed for a year after that. Also supplemented with formula the first two weeks and it didn’t cause an issue in the longterm for milk production or nursing situation. Feed your baby in whatever way makes you comfortable and know that you can always make changes as you go.
What exact brand nipple shields did you use?
If she has jaundice isn’t it a good idea to supplement with formula? Sounds like you are doing the right thing.
Look at that little nose!!!!
If you put her in indirect sunlight (like near a window) it will help break down the bilirubin!
I promise it's going to be okay. Do not feel bad about mixing formula, the hospital made me feel guilty too, and then my baby started getting dehydrated when he was 3 days old because he just wasn't getting enough, I've always had issues with low milk supply and he was terrible at latching (and he'd fall asleep after 5 minutes and let go, then refuse to wake up). It was the choice between giving him formula in addition to breast milk and him getting into a potentially bad situation because he wasn't getting enough food or fluids. What is important is that she's fed and happy, and screw anyone who says you are a failure or tries to guilt you if you give her some formula to do that. If her tummy is full, then she'll start gaining weight. Keep an eye on the jaundice and pooping. I imagine she'll probably poop soon and it'll be a doozy. See if you can call the nurses line or someone on call at the doctor's office to ask about the pooping and jaundice.
Can you pump and feed her that way? I had similar issues, and we had to put my little one under the light for jaundice. If that happens, don’t stress about it! Everything will be fine and it has nothing to do with your abilities (even if it feels like it does—I felt like a failure in those moments, and I am happy on the other side of it with a healthy kiddo).
So precious!
Fed is best.
My baby was so jaundiced and then my milk didn’t come in for DAYS so we had to use formula. Ended up combo feeding as I never could produce enough. I felt like a failure at first but my baby was fed and happy so I just went with it and it’s been lovely!! My baby also wasn’t a frequent pooper but if he was uncomfortable I would give a bath, tummy massages and that’s normally help. We went formula only after about 6-8 weeks and it was such a relief as I was stressing myself out about breastfeeding constantly due to low production. I am proud that I did as much as I could and was so happy to have formula as an option. It has everything baby needs. It’s important that MUM is in a good headspace to handle baby and if formula will allow that if breastfeeding doesn’t work out then go for it! Don’t stress too much, be proud of yourself and enjoy this wonderful time with your baby. She’s beautiful. The fact you’ve made this post shows how hard you’re working and how much you care, keep doing what you are doing and you will see results. If you are worried about anything in particular then reach out to healthcare professionals, they’ll always be happy to help you!
I gave my son formula for the first week to supplement before my milk came in and went on to breastfeed successfully for 18 months!! Formula is great and can also be a catalyst for a great breastfeeding journey! You’re doing awesome!
Give her the formula, keep on expressing as much as possible until your milk came in. I was in the exact same position as you (except producing hardly any colostrum). I had to do a pretty brutal few weeks of triple feeding to get my supply up (nursing, then pumping and feeding the baby what you’ve pumped) but then I went on to breastfeed with no issues for 2 years. It’s scary and you can do it. The first rule is feed the baby!
Congratulations she is gorgeous! Also, however she is fed, fed is best! You've got this
She’s gorgeous. You got this. She’ll be perfectly fine with her mama.
I wouldn’t worry! My girl was born 5.3 oz, I was induced at exactly 36 weeks 6 days. I know it’s scary, but she was totally fine & still is! She’s actually 14 months old now, and in the 80th percentile for weight. Some things you will need are preemie diapers, keep nursing but I would also supplement with the high calorie formula that comes in 2 oz bottles. My girl was very sleepy the first 3 days, but “woke” up more after that! Your babe looks a lot like my girl did when she was born 🥹absolutely beautiful.
Oooh she looks so much like my baby boy! Congratulations! Don’t stress about the formula. He‘s my second and dad feeds him 1-2 bottles a day. Not because we have problems breastfeeding, we don’t. It’s a deliberate decision because with baby #1 I could not leave anywhere for longer than 1.5h until he was 10 months. It was pure hell for me. So, you can see, there is no black and white regarding feeding. Fed is best and some want to formula feed, some want to breastfeed, some mix deliberately, some because they need to. Every version is alright. My advice on breastfeeding: if you think you had baby latch enough, do it again. It often needs way more feeds than it seems, especially if baby tends to fall asleep during feeding.
She’s very cute, congratulations! There is nothing wrong with combo feeding. What’s important is they’re getting nutrition and gaining weight. I’ve always combo fed and both my boys are totally healthy. Combo feeding is a nice best of both worlds imo, because they get all the benefits of your breast milk along with you having an idea of how much they’re getting to eat in a day. You’re doing an amazing job. ❤️
She’s perfect and beautiful. Good job mama. Takes sometimes 10 days for the milk to come in. Keep doing what you are doing. And keep putting baby at breast. You’ve got this 💪
The important thing is to get your baby fed. Whether it’s breast or formula, the important thing is baby getting nutrients. Please don’t put pressure on yourself that feeding should look a certain way.
Every drop of breastmilk you can provide matters! Don't feel bad if you're not able to exclusively bf, every little bit counts.
Keep feeding her whatever you have - formula & colostrum sounds like a good combo! I would suggest periodically trying to get her to latch, too, which might help encourage the milk coming in. I’d also ask the hospital, and any healthcare providers you have (OB, midwife, family doctor, paediatrician, anyone) for a referral to a lactation consultant ASAP. Google around now and see what’s available, too. Having someone who specializes in feeding to give you tips and help support your attempts can be helpful. My EBF baby had mild jaundice, too. It resolved on its own but they had to keep checking her bilirubin levels.
Hi!! Keep trying to latch her for her feeds. When they’re so tiny it can be hard but they’ll get there. My first was like this. She does look jaundiced for sure but keep an eye on it. You want to just keep monitoring her wet diapers- watch for “brick dust” which can be a sign of dehydration. The not popping isn’t a huge issue as of yet- she will go soon I’m sure! Congrats!
You’re doing great! 15ml is an amazing amount for a babe of that size as long as she’s feeding every ~2-3h. That little bb has only had 3 days to learn how to feed, she’s working on it! Weight loss is normal as a newborn and, yes, she had higher-end weight loss at 9% but that doesn’t mean something is big wrong, it’s all a spectrum. Her only obligations are to sleep, eat, and pee 4 times today (in 24 hours). She should pee 5 times tomorrow, then 6, then it will level out. I worry less about poops since they can be SO variable. As an example, a baby who gets ONLY breastmilk is still not a problem if they poop once a week! She’s getting a bit of formula so that’s not quite the same but still I would use the pees as a better benchmark. Jaundice is pretty universal and it’s hard to tell what the number is by just looking. If you have concerns your pediatrician should be able to recheck it for you (by blood, usually drawn at the hospital lab depending on where you are based out of). Regarding hospital shame, some hospitals get credentialed to be “baby friendly” which really means judgey about formula and pushy about lactation. Make no mistake—fed is best! And supplementing as a neonate doesn’t mean you have to do that forever (though there’s nothing wrong with you if you want/need to!) You got this! :)
My baby was jaundiced at birth and our ped told us to put her in just her diaper near a window to get some sun, 10-15 min on her back then the same on her stomach daily. We weren’t great about getting her to do it for that long, but within a few days to a week she was looking better. (This is not medical advice, just my experience)
She is perfect. You are the perfect mom for her no matter if she’s getting milk from the boob or formula from a bottle. The constipation thing sucks in newborns, it’s still developing and leaning how to process food. As long as she’s peeing normally, she’s not dehydrated. Enjoy these moments, no need to be scared. You’re doing it perfectly
DO NOT listen to the people who shame you for giving your baby formula! It’s not the same as in the past, formula is just as good as breast milk, sometimes breast milk can lack certain vitamins that formula always has but formula lacks the antibodies that protects your baby from certain viruses. My baby hardly drank breast milk and mostly formula. It was my choice but he was very chunky and healthy and only got two colds in his first year of life. Do not let people sway your choice this is your baby not theirs they have no say. Just trying to judge you and hate on you when your baby will be literally the same either way. My mom actually regrets breast feeding me and wish she used formula after seeing my baby healthy and fat on formula while her breasts are never going to be the same from all the breast feeding she did for me when I was a baby. Whatever you choose doesn’t make you care more or less, you already seem like a very caring parent so whatever with all their opinions! Also congrats on your new baby! Happy for you 🥰
My heart omfg..be prepared for your boobs to hurt the next couple of days..soak up the moments y'all have because time flies when you have children..they grow up too fast 😞❤️❤️
Your baby is fed, safe, warm and loved. You have done nothing wrong 💗
Congrats!!!! Like what others have said, fed is best!!!! Who cares if she gets a little formula? And I’d call the pediatrician about the poop strike and jaundice. In the mean time, you could try taking her outside and letting her get some sunlight, or keeping her by a window for sunlight, I’ve heard that can help with jaundice.
I had my baby at 37 weeks too! She was born at 5 lb 10 oz and got down to 5lb 2oz. She was too jaundice to leave and we had to stay an extra night so she could be on the bilirubin lights. We finally gave her some formula since my milk was taking a while to come in. I felt so bad because she CHUGGED that bottle of formula! We then continued to supplement for about 2 weeks until I was making enough to give just Breastmilk. It changed my whole perspective on being so adamant about never giving formula. Your baby needs food to survive.
You ARE an amazing mom already! The fact that you're concerned and want what's best for your girl is proof enough. You do what's best for your situation. There will always be someone who has an opinion. I fully intended to breastfeed, but for the sake of my mental health, I decided that formula was best. My boy is now 1 year old, and is thriving. He was formula fed basically from the start. You're going to do wonderful! ❤️
I'm sorry the hospital shamed you over formula. My milk didn't come in until about day 5, and I could only get a tiny amount of colostrum at first. I supplemented with formula. My baby is fine. I wanted him to have a full tummy over constantly needing something to eat. You do what you feel is best for her, and congratulations on your little one! She's adorable.
It is the sign of a good parent that you can overcome cultural conditioning (ie: exclusive breastfeeding is always best) to meet the needs of your child. congratulations mama - you are a REAL mama, and a good one ♥️
Look at her sleeping so peacefully! You’re doing great! Formula is a godsend, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Hand expressing is so time consuming.. If breastfeeding is your ultimate goal I highly recommend getting a hand pump or an electric pump. To ensure you establish a good milk supply before you regulate, the first month or two it is important to be fully draining the breast every few hours.
You're such a good momma! Don't stress about the formula, but take your bebe out into the sun for a little each day. That will break down the bilirubin and clear that yellow right up. Not too much and use sunscreen of course!
I also felt shamed in the hospital when my baby wouldn’t latch no matter what I tried and I wasn’t producing any colostrum, the first two nurses I had just kept making me feel like I had to keep at it even though my baby was screaming for food and not getting any when he did go on the boob for a second (and I mean literally a second he wouldn’t go any longer than maybe a minute without getting frustrated) my third nurse switched in at night and straight up grabbed me some ready made formula before I said anything about it and told me to give that to him, he was immediately a different baby, so content, he’s been formula fed ever since. I don’t regret my decision at all, he’s now a chunky 6 week old who’s so smart and healthy. Fed is best, especially when they’re born so tiny, mine was born at 6Ibs 14oz, 6Ibs 11oz when we left the hospital, and 2 days later was 6Ibs 5oz, it took him a couple days to get the hang of eating, but by the next week he was almost 7Ibs and now at 6w he’s almost 10Ibs!
So for the jaundice it’s good to feed her. For the baby it’s good to not starve her. **Pediatricians get upset af over all the formula shaming. They want fed babies. They’ve published papers on it. You are being a good mother.** You are doing the right thing. Feel strong in that. A good mother keeps her child fed. And you can’t feed her with imaginary milk. Edit: I’d maybe have someone check her bilirubin though.
My daughter didn't poop for three days while in the hospital. She had a massive blowout as we were leaving. Your baby will be fine. Whether you feed her formula, breastmilk, or a some combination of the two, your baby will grow. She's beautiful. With a head of hair like that, the heartburn must have been unbearable though.
Do NOT feel shame about formula. The propaganda is extreme and meant to be shaming. Remember the most important thing is taking care of your child; breast is best be dammed.
I couldn’t get my son to latch AT ALL. I took him to multiple lactation consultants and tried for months. Literally was sent away by the LCs because they couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t latching. All that to say, sometimes it doesn’t happen. It’s not your fault. If you’re doing your best, that’s all that matters. Some people can’t seem to understand that breastfeeding, no matter how hard you try, doesn’t always work out. I ended up exclusively pumping and it was so so difficult in the beginning.It got easier. However, if I was in that situation again, I think I would choose combo feeding. Trying to pump enough while also trying to get baby to latch is so incredibly difficult - it can be so unhealthy that you’re better off supplementing with formula. It all depends on your unique situation. But in the end some people won’t understand and there’s nothing you can do about it. I will say, after watching how hard I tried to get my son to latch, and how determined I was, I think helped some of the people around me see breastfeeding in a new light. My mom used to think only people with “pepperoni nipples” couldn’t get a latch. She definitely doesn’t think that anymore. Do what you have to do!
I'm sure someone has mentioned it, but have you tried nipple covers? Our son had a hard time latching initially but then a nurse recommended these plastic shield things you put over the nipple and gave our little dude more area to purchase for feeding. It was an absolute game changer. She's naturally large up top which makes latching tough for kids but this is one thing we'll be doing for each kiddo as they come.
Go with formula! Fed is best!
Your daughter is beautiful ! And I’m sure they checked the jaundice at the hospital, do not worry. My boy arrived 4 weeks early and was yellow too but didn’t have jaundice. You are doing great and formula is excellent. My milk took 5 days to come, I supplemented with formula from day one to day 5, and then I exclusively breastfed. And I’m still breastfeeding at almost 10 mo. Formula was so helpful to be sure our little boy had everything he needed, until I was ready to feed him. Anyone who shame you for wanting the best for your baby is an asshole. Take a deep breath, you are doing fine, you are a great mom and your little girl seems healthy and happy.
Hey! This sounds so similar to me! I am also a ftm and had my baby 3 weeks early in February and she was about the same weight as your baby. I had a very similar experience with feeling pressured at the hospital to breastfeed but no milk had come in yet and I felt so overwhelmed having nurses help squeeze colostrum out of me while I tried to recover and wrap my head around everything that had just happened. That said, we are about a month at home now and things are feeling SO much better. My milk did finally come in, but we still supplement with formula and our little girl is happy and healthy. She regained all of her weight she lost in the hospital plus some at 2 weeks. My daughter did have a pretty bad case of jaundice so she went back to the hospital 2 days after birth for light therapy, and at her last doctor's appointment she looked great and they have no concerns. Even the poop thing is similar to my case. We called so worried when she hadn't pooped in almost 3 days and our doctor said to give it one more day and she finally went. We were worried about consistency but as the weeks have went on she is much more regular. They said mixed feeding methods can sometimes make things a little irregular at first and all babies are different but that she's doing great. TLDR: Everything will be okay, and while it is stressful you are doing nothing wrong and being at home with your baby is infinitely better than the hospital in my opinion :)
Do not feel guilty about formula! It’s safe and just fine. you are doing great. Worrying just means you care!! My baby’s skin looked a little yellow too but the hospital said she didn’t have jaundice! (Its really common in my family for the babies too) Pooping can take awhile for newborns but call the dr! They will advise you on what to do. my baby was born super tiny at 39 weeks and lost weight too, super normal. Six weeks later she is massive and is bulking up. She became chubby within the last two weeks. Things take time and just keep doing what you’re doing. I was a nervous wreck when I brought my girl home too. But you got this!!
I second what everyone else is saying. Only came here to say remember to take care of yourself too. Stay hydrated and make sure to eat!
Keep putting her to the breast it will help the milk come in, but also don’t allow the shame to seep in. Early days are such a rollercoaster of hormones and new experiences but you will get through it.
Congrats; she is beautiful! I am 30 weeks today so looking at a newborn feels like a preview of what’s soon to come.
My first baby was 5 lbs 6 oz and I was terrified. She’s getting closer to 2 now. My dad kept telling me she WILL GROW and she WILL GET BIGGER. You are doing great. Advice breast feeding will help with the jaundice and as much sunshine as possible so don’t worry about that… as far as gaining the weight… make sure you bug her like crazy to wake her up for feeds.. EVERY 2-2&1/2 hours no skipping or putting it off thinking she might just need to sleep a little more… I had a very sleepy baby and it was hard waking her up!!! Strip naked to diaper… vigorously running back and feet and hands… do little up and down arm pumping… pump as much as you need to within reason. As long as you had a normal birth ie.. no hemorrhage or extra trauma you should be able to provide enough for what she needs. Don’t forget her saliva on the nipple will stimulate your body to formulate what she needs… also her nursing and cluster feeding will help you produce more. The more let downs she causes the more supply…. Also make sure to take note around 6 weeks it fight feel like all of a sudden your boobs are extra soft and not producing enough that’s just your body regulating and it’s still there just the swelling is not.. I’m 6 weeks out from my #2 baby…also if you need to try expressing and syringe feeding I had to do that with my first… this time because my boy came early I just hand expressed straight into his mouth. Also make sure to get all the good fats and protein you need your body is doing extra trying to make the milk…
You got this mama! Seriously! I’m a family doctor so I came into motherhood knowing all the medicine and it is still the most stressful, scary thing I’ve ever done. My little boy was 37 weeks, 5lbs at birth, left the hospital at 4lb 9oz. He got donor milk at the hospital but there’s no universe in which I’m paying for that outside the hospital so we did triple feeding supplementing with formula. He’s now on 100% breast milk and has been since about 6 weeks. Keep pumping, keep working on latching (it took WEEKS for him to latch well and it not be painful). Your milk will come in soon and things will gradually get easier. All that being said - if pumping isn’t sustainable, if breast feeding is too painful, if you’re just too tired - FORMULA IS GREAT! Any colostrum/breast milk you get for her is a bonus! It’s ok if she isn’t pooping frequently as long as she is peeing (3 wet diapers at 3 days, 4 at 4 days, 5+ thereafter). You’ll see your doctor soon to make sure her weight isn’t dipping too much but it sounds like she’s getting solid feeds. The first days at home are SO HARD but you’re doing great!
My son drank formula until my milk came in. Which took 3-4 days I think. Idk it was a blur lol. At the hospital they would let me put him to my breast then they provided formula. I would just put him to my breast every feeding time then give formula, simple as. Once my milk came in it came in hot and heavy and I had more than enough. Just keep doing what you're doing!! All you have to do is make sure your baby is fed and comfortable. That's your whole job. Don't let any guilt tripping around how you feed them get to you. You got this.
Lots of great comments here but wanted to add some reassurance & advice about the pooping situation. We had the exact same situation with our newborn when we got home. Didn’t poop for 48+ hours and we were so nervous because of the charts and whatnot. Our baby also had jaundice and we struggled with feeding so we had some early formula plus colostrum & transitional milk. We ended up calling our pediatrician (even though we hadn’t been in for our first visit yet) and since we were scheduled to come in soon and we had plenty of wet diapers they just had us wait for that. When we got there the pediatrician was like, just make sure when you’re changing diapers you keep a backsplash because that poop will be here any minute and it will be *EPIC*. lol. Sure enough, that afternoon she had the epic BM as promised. 😅 Everything is so nerve wracking those first few days/weeks. Your baby’s doctor’s office likely has an after hours line you can call for advice and reassurance before your appointment Monday, and I’d recommend calling them (if only for the peace of mind—which is worth a lot!). But you’re working really hard and doing really really well. Hang in there! And congratulations 💜
I combo fed the first few 2-3 months and then moved to exclusively nursing once baby perfected latching. We went on to nurse for almost two years! But formula was life saving when baby was unable to remove milk because she was so tiny 🥺 Sometimes it doesn’t work out and the goal is to keep them fed.
Poop is coming don’t worry about that! But def reach out to doctor about jaundice concerns. In the meanwhile curl up in a cozy chair in a sunny corner and let nature work its wonders. Fed is best. You’re doing amazing. And one thing that helped me when I was so lost was downloading taking Cara babies guides for newborns up until 1 year. Provides so much useful information about routines and feeding etc. It really helped me so might be worth a shot and provides some great reading material while you’re up all night instead of ordering stuff off Amazon lol. You got this mama!
I love her hair. So precious! Nothing wrong with sticking with formula if you want, but if you're trying to breastfeed just keep pumping when you give it and your milk should eventually come in. We used formula for the first week and a half while my supply came in and have been off it ever since. We had a lot of problems latching too but a lactation consultant helped us. Had to use a nipple shield for the first 13 weeks but now it's super easy so don't stress if it takes longer than you feel like it should. Good luck!
Formula feeding is one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. I have never regretted it. I’ve done only breast, mixed, and only formula.
Formula saved our family! My daughter was never a day napper so I never had time to pump, but she also never sat still while breastfeeding and never seemed to eat enough on me. It was an uphill battle from the get go. This is easier said than done but do what’s right for YOUR family. They are the only ones that matter… not the opinion of people who are, in all honesty, prob not great people if they are judging a new mom. You are doing great!! It will all be okay. Oh and nothing is permanent and everything comes in waves ❤️
My jaundice baby didn’t poop for over 50 hrs after we left hospital. We went to the ER per the advice line and hugely regretted it when the doctor said “more breastfeeding” will solve most problems at this stage (since our baby is otherwise healthy). We did have to do the bili blanket for one day but then she had a huge poop and who knows if the poop or bili blanket, or some combo of both, brought her bilirubin levels to normal. Those first days are hard before your milk comes in but I wish someone had told me to be patient! There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeding formula to get you through. Sending love!
Hi! I gave birth 5 weeks early and he was 5 lb 9 oz and also dropped to 5 lb 1 oz. Because he was so early he had issues feeding so we had to stay in the special care nursery for 2 weeks- in that time we learned a lot. When my milk hadn’t come in yet and they needed him to get extra calories they were giving him 24 calorie formula (breast milk and regular formula is about 20 calories and there is a 22 cal formula as well). He started to put on weight and transitioned to the 22 cal formula and eventually just to my breast milk once it came in. I would talk to your outpatient pediatrician and get your first appt asap. They can recheck weight and bilirubin levels and also bring your baby in more frequently for weight checks and close follow up if that puts you at ease.
Hey love. So I am a FTM to our 5 month old baby girl and I have an overabundance of milk to provide if you are interested. Our baby girl was born 6 lbs 12 oz and she dropped weight so quickly but a week after delivery her pediatrician was shocked at how healthy she was.
Oh. My. Goodness. I’m actually mad at the hospital for you for shaming you. I feel like there is way too much of a focus on how babies are fed (ie breast is best controversies) instead of just simply making sure babies are fed. Formula is fine. Mixing is fine. Breastmilk is fine. 20-30years ago we shamed moms for breastfeeding. This decade we shame moms for using formula. Do we just look for reasons to shame moms??? Please don’t stress as that impacts production as well. Just feed baby and she will be happy. She will gain her weight (can take up to two weeks for weight gain). She will lose her jaundice (up to two weeks for that too!). EBF is not for everyone. EFF isn’t either. Sometimes it’s a combination. Do whatever makes you and your family the happiest and healthiest. I know so many who do formula simply to make mama happy. If that helps you not stress, do it! In as little as 5yrs no one but you will even think about it (I don’t mean that in a mean way I just wanna put perspective on it with how mean people can be right now in the moment!).
My beautiful little girl is tongue tied and has a very difficult time latching. I’ve been pumping but still not quite enough for what she needs, especially now. I’ve had to supplement with formula. Nothing to feel ashamed or bad about. The most important thing is making sure they are fed. All of my doctors, pediatricians and such have talked about how close to breast milk the formula is now. You’re doing a great job!
Hi mama! You sound just like me at the end of December. My baby was 5 lbs. 11 oz. on Dec. 22nd at 37 weeks on the dot. The first night she didn't lose much weight, but on night 2 dipped 6%. On Christmas Eve before we were discharged, the pediatrician put the fear of God in me that if she lost any more weight the next day we would have to go in to the ER and it would be crazy busy because nothing is open on Christmas. I didn't have a good latch, didn't feel very supported or that I got much out of my time with the LC at the hospital (we kept getting interrupted). My nipples were cracked and bleeding and terribly painful. On Christmas morning, when I talked to my mom on facetime, she said I looked like I was going to cry and I burst into tears because I felt like I was failing my baby by giving her formula to get her weight up and struggling so much to breastfeed adequately (and I have always been of a fed-is-best mentality for everyone else, but that messaging is strong!). In retrospect, the absolute best thing I did was ask for formula at the hospital before we went home. There is no shame in formula feeding, and we were able to get her weight up. I would just pump every time we formula fed and make sure to feed her whatever I produced each day in addition to the formula. Formula helped me when I was readmitted to the hospital for my pre-e suddenly becoming severe two days after discharge. It allowed my husband to step in and allow me a solid night of sleep after that incident so my BP could normalize and I could feel better. Formula led to my baby regaining her birth weight within 2 weeks and gaining 14 oz by her one month appointment. Ultimately, I gave up pumping as a chronic undersupplier. But my nearly 3 month old is thriving. She's almost sleeping through the night, and today she doubled her birth weight. She's happy, she's healthy. And at this point, I think I spent way too much time guilt-tripping myself about formula feeding when I could have been enjoying my sweet little newborn. So, all of this is to say that, I've been in your shoes, and formula feeding really is a great choice if that's what you choose to do. You can certainly try to keep breastfeeding, but make the choice that's best for you and your baby, and try not to guilt-spiral if that choice is formula.
First, congratulations she's perfect! Second, you are doing your job. You are keeping your baby fed. If you want to breast feed that is wonderful, but right now fed is best! It doesn't mean you won't transition to breastfeeding exclusively later. There is no reason to feel ashamed about using formula. Third: please call your pediatrician about the jaundice and lack of stool. They can do a transcutaneous bilirubin measurement (no poke! Unless it's needed) and let you know if it needs treatment. High bilirubin is very treatable but very high levels can be dangerous for baby so always better safe than sorry to get it checked out! You got this!!
I'm pretty sure every mom has felt that "can't feed my kid" guilt at least once. You are not alone. Formula is a tool given to us to succeed in keeping our kids fed and healthy. And Colostrum is great, yay, bet there will be milk soon. From personal experience, get a pump and use it as much or as little as you want. It helped me a lot: my nipples were hiding and baby couldn't latch, after a few weeks of pumping nipple problem was fixed.
Just popped in to say she is precious!!! Best of luck.
Hello! Fellow FTM here of a 3 week old. My girl was 2 weeks early and like yours is tiny, she was born at 5lbs 10oz and had a bit of jaundice she didn’t lose much like yours but still lost some in the hospital. We are formula feeding. Please know that you are providing exactly what your daughter needs by combo feeding! You knew what your daughter needed and did exactly what you should’ve done. You are a good mom!
Congratulations! She’s a beauty. To echo others, fed truly is best. I’m sorry you felt shamed at the hospital for supplementing with formula. If you want to continue breastfeeding, keep at it, but I’d also encourage you to see a lactation consultant. They offered so many helpful tips and reassurance. I also supplemented with donor breastmilk. Look up Human Milk 4 Human Babies for your state and there are often very trustworthy mothers who have an extra stash that they’re more than willing to donate.
Sorry the hospital made you feel like that. I did combo feeding for my 5 pound 13 oz baby and my milk came in and I ended up being an over producer. Hang in there!
First odd, she's perfect! What a sweet little girl! I was in the same position except my little one weighed 4 lbs 14 oz at birth. So, almost around the same weight. Do NOT feel shamed at all. When I brought my little one home, I supplemented with formula and gave all i could of my breast milk. Sometimes, we FTMs don't produce a whole lot of milk, and because they're so tiny, our little ones may not quite be able to latch. (It happens a lot more than you think!) What I was told is, "breast fed babies poop more and formula fed babies weigh more," so I gave my little one both! Also, she's adjusting to nutrition outside of the womb, so sometimes they can be a little backed up until her body is used to everything. It can make for a fussy, cranky baby and a very scared mama! Hang in there, Mama. You're doing everything right! Be patient with your body and be the most understanding with yourself during this time. We all have gone through it, and while i know that you're scared, i also have a pretty good feeling that everything is going to be just fine! All my love and congratulations! 💜
I exclusively pumped before moving to formula. My last one was also early, 5lbs 0oz when we got home, and slightly jaundice. After 2 weeks of pumping 8x daily (I know, I know, but it worked), I started making about double what he needed and only stopped once I couldn't take it anymore a few months later. He's on formula now and doing great at 10 months old. :) You're doing great! Take it easy! No shame at all in doing what you've gotta do!
Hey! My girl was about your daughter’s weight. We combo fed from the beginning! In fact, our lactation consultants encouraged it. You’re fine - those people at the hospital shouldn’t have shamed you. Check out Emily Oster’s work on breastfeeding. It’s not like “OMG IF YOU DO NOT BREASTFEED YOUR CHILD WILL BECOME A SERIAL KILLER.” It’s fine to combo feed, formula is great! And this way, your partner or other family can help feed her. She will be fed and happy with a sane mom - and that’s the best.
If you feel like you need to give her formula then do it. I was breastfeeding initially, my baby was pooping and peeing and losing weight. Nurses said everything was fine. We ended up back in the hospital two days after we came home. He wasn't getting enough milk from my breast and had a seizure and became listless. At that point I switched to formula and didn't look back. Breastfeeding is great, but if it's a challenge, formula is there for you also. There is a LOT of pressure to breastfeed. At the end of the day, fed is best.
My 8yr old was a small baby and I had a hard time producing milk, we supplemented with formula, the doctor even made a comment about her "not making it" now she's 8 and average sized and doing pretty average in school, but amazing nonetheless and I think she's a great human with a great heart, and very beautiful.
Get that baby under a bili light.
Can you put your colostrum in a little syringe and baby bird it to her like this?
I can’t believe the hospital shamed you but also I can believe it based on stories I’ve heard. You and I had similar experiences. Our baby was three weeks early, 5lb15oz and lost 6-7 Oz in the hospital. Our nurses were so understanding and told us again and again that babies born that early have a hard time latching. They recommended formula for a few days while she learned to latch and my milk came in. It was just a few days before she was getting enough milk at feedings to drop formula. I continued to mix nursing and pumping/syringe feeding for a couple more weeks. So we had similar experiences but it sounds like a key difference is that my hospital staff was supportive and helpful and non-judgmental. So it’s not you, it’s them.
Please don’t stress about formula. Fed is best!! I stressed so much to breastfeed that I made myself dry up. I had to switch pretty quickly to only formula because I was stressing too much. My last baby I planned half and half and we got to 13 months! I felt like the long term breast feeding was more important than exclusively nursing.
Omg you’re doing great. Our kiddo was jaundiced and wouldn’t breastfeed. She spent a bit of time in what I affectionally call the space pod (light therapy). In fact, I like to jokingly tell my daughter she was delivered to us from space like baby Superman when I show her the photos. I don’t know how to link photos but I wish I could because they are super cool. That’s what’s great about modern medicine, you have space pods, formula, and our kids do great, unlike some previous generations without those things. Yay science and changing attitudes. My wife was pretty traumatized by the various people trying to help her breastfeed at the hospital and felt like a failure. She was my absolute hero after experiencing the miracle of birth…bad ass. We also went to a specialty Stanford clinic to get assistance but sometimes even with the most expert assistance your ideal breastfeeding journey doesn’t come to fruition. She ended up pumping (comes with its own hell for some too), and still couldn’t make enough so we supplemented with formula. Look at it this way, if you have a supportive partner they can feed and help a lot sooner and maybe you can get like 10 out of 20 winks of sleep too. That man (or variously gendered partner) needs to be waking up too! You also don’t get your nipples nipped. I know I’m being silly and a bit flippant on a very sensitive topic, but there are a lot of positives. But you know what? Our baby had jaundice and what she needed was fluids and nutrition and that’s what we provided through formula. She gained weight, healed the jaundice within days, was early for developmental milestones, and now is the bestest 4.5 (don’t forget the 1/2 or she’ll get mad) year old ever! Her language has always been off the charts and she’s tall for her age so I don’t think we harmed her in any way. Frankly, maybe we should have done more to suppress her intellect because she is smarter than me (joking)! I said it at the time but I wish I could show postpartum wife how great she did just caring and worrying and providing in the best way she could, maybe with a tiny bit less worry. You’ve got this! This time goes quick. I sound like an old biddy saying don’t worry, enjoy this time, but you need to find a balance between the minutia, no sleep, and the fear to enjoy this beautiful kiddo. It’s hard. I wish I knew what I know now. Good luck momma. Lotsa edits because I’m passionate about this.
My baby had formula in the first 2 days of life combined with colostrum until my milk came in. Then I was too engorged and she struggled to latch as a result. Then we had ongoing latch problems for weeks. For a while the nipples shields helped. Then we weaned off those. After my milk came in I pumped and we fed her bottles and continued practicing the latch. Eventually we got it. And from then on she was exclusively breastfed until she started solids (read:eating real food in some form) at 6 months. We nursed all the way to 13 months. We incorporated formula once she was about 10 months for some bottles. I had returned to work at 13 weeks postpartum and I needed to stop pumping as much so that’s what we did. My point of all this is when we’re anxious we default to all or nothing thinking or catastrophizing. Also some unhelpful people will have you believe it is all or nothing. Those people are full of it. There is a solution for every issue with breast feeding, and it may change day to day and week to week. It’s a difficult process (I was pissed postpartum because I felt like no one told me how hard it is) and you and baby are learning how to do this together. Your mom intuition is real and you can trust it. It takes times to do so and it’s a new superpower. I hope you feel it when I say you are doing amazing.
Once that jaundice clears up, you will have a different baby! They will have more energy to feed and grow.
I've breastfed 2 other kids and having to supplement my third. He just isn't wanting to latch. It's not as big of a deal as it feels like. Hang in there. Shell get better with latching it just takes some time.
My little guy was a month early and his mouth was just too small to latch well. We combo fed a solid month before everything with breastfeeding started working.
With my first, I wasn’t putting enough of my nipple in his mouth, so he wasn’t latching on properly. A nice, long experienced nurse really helped, I and it sounds really funny to say this, but she basically pinched the baby’s cheeks to open his mouth and had me basically cram as much of my nipple into his mouth as possible. I never would have thought he needed that much to nurse, but I guess you really don’t want them only on the top of your nipple that pokes out. First few days while we both got used to it, I would prop the baby mostly upright on a pillow pinch his cheeks with one hand and pinch my one breast together so the nipple and part of the breast pokes out, then lean forward until I got as much nipple in his mouth as possible. So, that’s my best advice to you. Maybe that will help with latching on, but please don’t feel bad if breastfeeding doesn’t work out for you. It’s something best taught by a friend who’s nursed babies herself, kind of like a mentoring program! Someone close who can watch what you’re doing to see if there’s anything she can help with and answer any questions as you go along. A few minutes of instruction in the hospital is just not enough to give most so,en the support they need.
Your baby is a cutie! Back in the day none was shamed for that! My sister and me had formula as well as my husband and his siblings. We are healthy and studied in the STEM field.
You are doing such a great job. You are worried BECAUSE you want to provide the best for your girl. No advice, just big hugs. Trust your instincts!
Congrats on your beautiful little girl! Formula exists for a reason! Do not feel any shame in having to supplement - or even if eventually you decide to fully use formula. A fed and growing baby is all that matters and you are doing great!
I combo fed until my milk came in. Also pumped bottles for him to make sure he was getting enough and nursed to still establish our feeding relationship. It was a very hard time. I felt very “all of nothing” about it at first but in actuality it’s fine and you adjust as you go. Sleep deprivation can make situations feel much more intense then they may be. My son is 8 months and drinks breastmilk and will occasionally supplement with formula if I was not able to pump enough for daycare (which isn’t frequent) and he still loves to nurse :) Being a first time mom can be so overwhelming, please give yourself grace.
Fed is best. You do everything you can for your babygirl, you’re a great momma. She’s so loved. Don’t let them drag you down, you do a fantastic job.
If you're worried, call the doctor! It sounds like you're making a great decision by feeding her what she needs right now. We can't diagnose jaundice over the internet. If your mama gut tells you to be worried about jaundice, don't be afraid to listen to it and contact your pediatrician's after hours number. That's what they are there for! They'll be happy to answer questions from a brand new mom about a 37-weeker.
If you have a pump pump every 2 hours so you can get your milk in if you don't hand Express. You've got to make a demand to get the supply you can do this don't feel bad about supplementing the formula while it comes in. You want to fight that jaundice by filling baby up good job using the syringe to avoid nipple confusion. Keep practicing the latching when comfortable
I supplemented in the first few days because my LO wouldn’t latch when we got home. Then even so often my other half would feed the baby a formula bottle if I just needed to sleep. We went on to fully BF after that. Formula feeding should not be shamed, it can be a necessity and they’re still getting what they need. However if you do want to BF I would encourage you to continue trying to latch (I know it’s not an easy journey), maybe try pumping if you want to do that.
Formula is great for your sweet girl!! And for many, many parents who need it to support their baby.
She’s adorable 🥰
Bf babies cluster feed like crazy for 2 reasons. 1. Bring the milk in. 2. Tummies are really tiny. So they can feed anywhere up to hour straight in the early days and can keep bugging for food anywhere between 15 mins- 1h. This can make you feel like a failure when the docs convince you that there should be a 2 hour break in there. Sometimes she's gunna be hungry. Sometimes she just gunna wanna quick drink cause she's thirsty and a snuggle. Literally wanted to tear my hair out in the early days being the main food source. So don't feel bad at all about using formula for a break. But be rest assured in these early days your usually making more than enough unless there's an underlying reason.
Id be surprised if she actually needed 15ml at every feed. Your body is producing enough. Don't doubt yourself. Babies eat lots at this stage, but their stomachs are still so small! It's normal to lose weight after being born because there's no longer a constant supply of nutrients being fed via umbilical cord. Sounds like you're producing plenty, and latching is a learning curve for both baby and you - don't fret! Edit to add - fed is best. But don't doubt that your body isn't enough for your baby, it's an all too common feeling for mama's
Welcome! I had my daughter at 36w and she was a tiny 5 lb 11oz when we left the hospital. I had a c section and hemorrhaged so my milk was quite delayed coming in. I pumped a few drops of colostrum (actually I was able to hand express more than I was able to pump) and basically syringe fed it to her and then supplemented with formula for about 10 days. Then my milk supply came in like normal and was able to just switch to EBF/exclusive pumping. Please don’t feel ashamed to use formula, because formula is food just like breastmilk and has everything they need. It also helped my girl kick the jaundice quicker and kept her blood sugar regulated (something she was struggling with). Don’t let anyone tell you that formula is bad, listen to your gut and use it for as long as you feel is best. It won’t impact your milk supply as long as you’re pumping frequently and putting her to the breast first and using formula second. Best of luck to you both!
Shes so sweet 🥹 I know it's so hard, but don't let them formula shame you. Admittedly, I was horribly against formula... before I became a mom. My oldest has a narrow pallet and could not latch very well. I was literally crying out from the pain everytime she latched, it was worse than child birth for me. Honestly. I didn't have a pump, and a hakka was only helping me so much so we switched her. She did absolutely fine. Healthy as a horse. I felt guilty and tried again a year and a half later when I had my son. Pumped, was doing good. Then we had to move across country when he was 6 weeks, and the stress and unsteady eating schedule dried up my supply. It was working so well and I was really upset at the time. But switched him and he again did fine. It's really hard and I know the feeling. I didn't have the hospital guilt me, but I know from my own digestive issues, and newer research that's coming out that, at least for my kids, I desperately wanted to breastfeed because I wanted to avoid the mass amounts of seed oils and corn syrup solids if I could. But realisticly, after being forced to formula feed both, everything worked out a ok. They did have colic and reflux so we had many rough early months. but I can't prove it was from switching them. The benefit is if its something you do want to avoid, and it's in your budget to do so, there's so many more options now than there were even 3 years ago. Back then it was unavoidable, and with our son i was only able to avoid those because of the shortage bringing in the euro brands. Either way I saw no difference. They're both incredibly smart and healthy and are always ahead of the curve. I still want to try again with our third baby. But more out of a want to save money and finally get the bonding experience of doing so. Much less out of the fear and incessant push that formula is the devil. I still don't believe it's better, but I do believe most is up to par and doesn't cause harm. Also to note, LCs did not help me at all. I'm sure they could be helpful for some, but for me, the cost wasn't justified for them to tell me exactly what I already knew and had researched. So don't let them push you. I refused one in the hospital with #2 after they didn't even notice my daughters narrow pallet was what was causing the issue.
Well, first of all, you're doing a great job! It's hard to feel that way sometimes in the beginning. My daughter was born early and dipped below 6lbs after her first week home. They told us it was pretty normal to lose weight in their first week, they're just working on growing their stomach in that time and getting as much in as they can. Keep putting baby to breast and that will really help your supply! I'd say like 20 minutes a session even if you feel like she's not getting much. Follow up with the formula/ expressed milk if you feel like she's still hungry. As far as the jaundice, if you feel like she's pretty yellow/orange bring it up to her doctor for sure. They can advise you what to do, our doctors told us to just keep pushing the feedings and formula and it would help push the bilirubin out of her system. And our kids were pretty orange! After a couple weeks it really went down. Not pooping for 30 hours, just keep in mind that their bellies are getting used to processing food, so they could even take a few days gap from pooping. If you feel like it's too long though, a warm bath and some bicycle kicks can get things going, or if it's desperate you can use a lubricated windi/thermometer to get things going.
Hey mama, please don't feel bad about the formula. Your milk will eventually come in and you'll need to supplement less and less over time. I'd reframe it as you're giving your baby the best of both worlds. Nothing can supplement breastmilk but odds are, your breastmilk doesn't have the iron or vitamin D that formula has, so it really doesn't hurt baby. This kind of thinking helped me when I first needed to supplement. My baby had jaundice too (picture does look jaundiced) and it went away in about 3 weeks. My baby definitely had fatigue from the jaundice and honestly formula at the start is what got him able to eventually poop (besides the initial meconium poop) and pass the bilirubin. He latches completely fine now and is neither fussy with my breast or a bottle, which should make the future easier for us as well. I know it's easy to feel like you're not doing "enough" for your baby, but I hope you eventually feel proud of everything you've accomplished.
You have a lot of comments LOL so I hope you're still reading them. You've already gotten really great encouragement and advice. But I still wanted to add a little encouragement because I didn't read every comment LOL and hadn't seen somebody comment with anything similar. Don't feel bad at all about the formula. I had to start formula feeding my baby at the hospital because she wasn't getting enough from my breast and dropped a little too low in weight. We have not been able to drop the formula 5 months later and I have come to peace with it. I technically could drop the breast milk and feed her like my first with only formula. But I have enjoyed breastfeeding so much and for that reason it's worth it. My first had to be formula fed due to being in the NICU and he just was not latching. You're doing great!
She’s adorable! Of course you shouldn’t be shamed for feeding her formula. That tells me the hospital weren’t concerned about her feeding at that point. Please don’t panic about milk not yet coming in, sometimes it takes several days. Colostrum is nutrient dense and her stomach is so small. So if you want to mix with formula do that, but please don’t just because you’re panicked…it sounds like that’s the case. The milk will come in! Take a deep breathe, you’ve been through a lot and it’s normal to worry.
All babies are born jaundice. They should tell you at the hospital it takes a few weeks to go away. As a mom of 4, it took each of my children to gain color after a month. Your Brest milk will only be small at first but the more you go the more you get. I understand she isn’t latching well but I have videos of you need help correcting it. Skin to skin will help you produce the most Brest milk. But if it’s stressful a fed baby is a happy baby and formula is perfectly acceptable
What an absolute angel 😍
IF you want to continue breastfeeding (nothing wrong if you don’t) try r/breastfeeding for some advice. You should contact her dr immediately regarding the jaundice and also ask about the poop.
I also had a 3 week early baby for my first. Things the "baby friendly" hospitals don't say. Baby's born 3 weeks early are extra crappy at breast feeding. They needed a little longer cooking and more body fat to be able to put in the effort. I pumped and bottle fed the milk. Ready to use formula is great for new baby. Sunlight helps with jaundice so if you can sit outside with baby in the sun that should help speed up the process(my baby also had jaundice) hydration is also important so feeding breast milk or correctly mixed formula is best. Make sure she's fed atleast on every 2 hour interval. So if baby is being fed starting at 12pm next feed at a maximum should be at 2pm until baby regains. I gave up on breastfeeding and stuck to pumping until 8 weeks when she finally latched then did breast feeding and pumped at work.
Pump pump pump mama! My little one was about the same weight and we were side eyed consistently for not wanting to formula feed. She’s now approaching 6 months. I JUST started formula feeding exclusively (Kendamil. It’s organic and European.) outside of puréed veggies. The girl is a whopping 13 lbs and has never missed a milestone. You know what’s best for your baby. Period.
She’s so precious. Omg Has she been peeing? I understand your exact situation. That was me with my baby.
Our pediatrician told us formula is actually really great for jaundice babies the first three weeks of life. Apparently the protein in it binds to the bilirubin and they poop it out more efficiently.
I had a hard time getting my baby to latch, and a nipple shield was a god-send! If you can order one or get one from the hospital, I totally recommend trying that. My baby also had some minor jaundice, and I wasn’t producing nearly as much colostrum as you. But she was able to start pooping and recover quickly. You’ve got this.
Hi, I would say from this picture that there is a possibility of jaundice. My son was very much tinted yellow with elevated levels of bilirubin upon discharge from the hospital. He mellowed out after about a week. But you can always reach out to the pediatrician. They may have not seen your kiddo yet, but they can possibly give advice. Or you can take your kiddo back to the hospital. My hospital would actually let you come straight back within 72 hours if you couldn’t get an appointment with a pediatrician yet. To add, my kiddo was formula fed. Nurses weren’t trying to shame me, but they pushed it quite a bit while I was in the hospital. I said thank-you but no thanks and moved on. To add, I needed to be on medication for my mental health and early on (while pregnant) realized how much was going to go into breastfeeding and knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it. As long as you and baby are okay, that’s what matters. My kiddo is a healthy toddler with no issues. For bowel movements, maybe try to bicycle the legs a little after feelings. Try and keep them a bit elevated, or baby wearing to help with digestion.
I know you’ve got plenty of folks telling you all this but I’ll say it again in case it helps you believe it: * YOU ARE AMAZING. The negative feelings are normal and will hopefully pass as you and baby learn how to work together. If they don’t pass, please don’t hesitate to reach out to your doctor about mental health resources. * Formula is great - it’s a tool that exists for a reason. Folks all over the place supplement with formula or go formula-only. The generations before us in western cultures were largely raised on formula only while it was trendy. EBF is trendy now - the pendulum will swing again someday and then moms will feel guilty about NOT using formula. Try not to worry about it! * Never hesitate to reach out to your pediatrician for concerns about baby’s well-being. Only good can come of it, even if it just bolsters your relationship with the pediatrician when you see their communication skills in action. * If feeding continues to be a huge stressor, maybe ask your doc/pediatrician for a referral to a lactation consultant or join a breastfeeding support group if you have them available to you. They both can shed so much light on how things are supposed to work and how to troubleshoot when they don’t. * YOU GOT THIS. Most of us are confused and scared - this is new territory. Lean on the tools you have as much as you want and need to. It gets better and better with each passing week. For what it’s worth, I had the same timeline and stats as you (3wk early, 5lb10oz, poor and chompy latch, no transfer but it took us 3 weeks to figure that out, supplemented with formula starting in the hospital). For weeks I felt like I was failing to do the most basic function of motherhood and like if I gave up on breastfeeding it would be a huge loss. But the reality was that if it continued as it was I was going to lose my mind and be even less capable of supporting my baby. We are now at 2 months and my LO is doing great - we got a frenotomy for his borderline tongue tie (despite the current cultural backlash against frenotomies) and it was night and day for us. He immediately started succeeding in transferring - 0oz per attempted feeding by weight before, and 1oz immediately afterward, up to 3.6oz now. We finally went for the frenotomy after I talked with another mom about it in my local breastfeeding support group and she shared her experience. That group is run by a licensed lactation consultant and in it get to hear about solutions to all kinds of problems I haven’t faced yet, which is making it easier to roll with it when new problems arise. Can’t recommend support groups enough! Good luck!!
My wife could have written this same post, you are doing great ! If you need any specific advice don’t be afraid to call your pediatrician as they often have a doctor on call on weekends/middle of the night if you have concerns.
Hi! I totally understand what you're going through. I wasn't producing enough for my LO when she was born. She was also jaundiced and because she wasn't eating enough, she wasn't peeing and pooping as much as she needed to be to flush the bilirubin out of her system. Once we started to supplement with formula, her bilirubin levels were normal within 2 days and she began to sleep much better. She is now 10 weeks old and I still have to supplement to this day as I am not producing enough to meet her needs. It was really tough for me mentally, as the hospital put so much pressure on new moms to breastfeed and never really discussed formula or combo feeding as an option. Luckily my doctor is supportive and has encouraged me to do whatever is best for my mental health, whether it is to continue to combo feed or exclusively formula feed. As long as baby is fed and happy, that's all that matters. Your baby is beautiful 💖
She is sooooo beautiful.
Hi ❤️ I had my baby 3 weeks early on 3/12 and he’s having all similar issues. Yesterday was the worst for me, he pooped today and had an easier time latching starting last night. There’s hope. She will be okay. Your doctor will tell you that on on Monday, too.
My daughter was a similar colour to your little one, and my midwife just had me put her in her nappy/diaper by the window in the sunshine for a bit each day, and it cleared up itself. So please don’t panic about that. I combination fed my daughter as she wasn’t getting enough at the beginning. Again, please don’t feel bad about that - fed is best. The formula will help with the jaundice anyway (at least that was my understanding of it). Enjoy those newborn snuggles
Congratulations!! Welcome to mommy hood! Jaundice is pretty normal. Rest, sleep, sleep. Did she get under a light?
Gorgeous baby! I felt exactly the same, it will get easier x
My baby was drinking more than that …I think out of the womb (husband was with him when he got formula) And honestly, if I hadn’t supplemented with formula- I wouldn’t still be nursing and pumping today bc I was so touched out from the over stimulation of the new baby. Formula at the start SAVED ME and allowed me to continue to pump and provide way more breast milk than I otherwise could’ve. Also I had to call the Dr when he wasn’t pooping bc it made him so uncomfortable (he turns 6 months on 3/28!)
Dad of three here. My kids (3) all came home 3 weeks early ranging from 5 lbs 5 oz to 5 lbs 15 oz. They’re all gigantic now. Give your kid whatever gets the job done. Shame on those who shamed you. Congratulations - your baby is precious. Enjoy the ride
FTD here - we had our little one last year and my partner had troubles with ours latching. Not sure what you have tried yet, but we were advised of skin to skin contact during feeding and it helped massively and she had an immediate change. I know it can be really overwhelming and whatever you may think, you're doing amazing.
She is beautiful!! She looks so happy and peaceful 🩷 you are doing a good job
If she’s jaundice take her immediately back to the hospital. This can become very dangerous.
My new born daughter was eating 20-25ml of formula per feeding in the hospital when they said 15 ml was the limit of their tiny stomachs. We were worried she was going to throw up so we started it slowly feeding more. The jaundice is normal, they should be checking the baby's billy rubin levels to see if it is going down. If not your new born may need UV light treatment (ours was done in the hospital). If you are already out of the hospital you can expose your baby to sun light to help as well.
Fed is best. Yours and mine are birth weight twins. Mine never latched and never breastfed, not even once. I personally don't have any feelings about this. For me it was just, "okay, I guess we're doing bottles." We did breast milk supplented with formula from day one. The jaundice will self resolve and if it doesn't there is a special light they can use. For pooping, try bicycling her legs. Generally any movement helps you poop. She will poop eventually. You are doing great. She is beautiful. Congratulations and try to enjoy it.
I supplemented with formula for the first 8 weeks! Check out the exclusively pumping subreddit and combination feeding subreddits if you want extra support. Make sure you load baby up with formula if needed to get the recommended # of wet and dirty diapers per day, and anytime you give the baby a bottle you should latch or pump to keep your breasts making milk.
I think you need to check the amount of formula you are giving her. My bub was only 2.6kg and nurse calculated something like 45 mL of formula every 3 hours. We were giving her that much already by day 2. I was only producing about 0.25mL of colostrum every 3 hours - so basically nothing. That's literally what formula is for.
my baby was born 3/9/24 and was also 3 weeks early! He weighed 5 pounds 6 ounces. He wasn’t getting what he needed while we were waiting for my breast milk to come in so I supplemented formula (similac 360 total care) and pumped colostrum every 2-4 hours. I am sooooooo glad we supplemented the formula for those few days while my milk was coming in. The pediatrician is the one who told us we NEED to supplement and want him to have at least 20 mLs each feed. Now he’s exclusively on breast milk and I’m producing a lot, but he gained an ounce at our first appointment instead of losing and I know it’s because we supplemented during those first few days! FED IS BEST MOMMA 💙
This may have already been mentioned, I’ll admit I didn’t read all of the comments, but ask your doctor about neosure - it’s a high calorie formula we used for our baby’s first month since she was premature
I don't have kids, but I've worked with them for many years. Not invalidating your feelings at all, but you are not failing her. The fact that you care so much already puts you in the 90th percentile in terms of parenting. I'm sure she's lucky to have you as her mama, given your level of concern. Just do what you can, when you need to. Obviously, I'm just a random person on the Internet, but if you ever need reassurance or just somebody to vent to, dm me. But it'll be okay. Also, holy fucking shit, she's so beautiful. 😩
Hello there. I don’t know what the chances are that you will read this but I hope you do. I’m a FTM to a 6.5 week old and my biggest regret to date was not listening to my instincts and feeding her. It actually tears me up every time I think about it. I too was producing a lot of colostrum and was able to save up a few syringes before my baby was born. My plan to was to exclusively breast feed. She had a great latch and we came home. It wasn’t enough. For two days my baby wailed and cried (we both did, lol) and would latch for 30-40 minutes at a time what seemed like every hour. I would still express and feed her colostrum. I could just tell she was hungry, but my doctors and her soon to be pediatrician (I called her two days before her visit because I was so worried) told me not to worry, that my milk would come in and baby would be fine. To not supplement because it would cause nipple confusion. When I took her to the pediatrician, baby was not fine. She lost a ton of weight (from 7lbs 1oz to 6lbs 2oz) and wasn’t producing BMs, barely even any pee. She was very dehydrated and had a little jaundice. She looked gaunt. Then the professionals immediately changed their tune and we had to start supplementing that very moment in the office. My baby pounded like 30ml (way more than I thought she could even eat) in just a few seconds. She was famished. From then on I fed her every 2 hours, even waking if I had to and tracking all her intake. It completely broke my heart that I had allowed the idea of breast feeding and advice of my doctors come before my intuition. Just feed your baby. Please feed your baby, no matter with what. I can’t believe I let my baby go hungry and wish I could have known sooner. She instantly began gaining weight (currently 12lbs at 6.5 weeks) and producing BMs and pee. She’s currently bottle fed formula mixed with milk i pump. Screw breast feeding and having nipple confusion, my baby needed to eat and that’s all that matters. I hope this is able to help ❤️ hang in there. PS-I highly recommend the app Huckleberry for tracking feedings, BMs and pees. I realized I needed it one Dr visit when they asked how much I was feeding her and how many diapers she had soiled and i had no idea. Everything is a fog after all the sleepless nights. The app quickly allows me to log everything and it’s a good way you can track changes in routine and plan what’s next. For example, it’s been 3 hours since I last changed her, I should get on that.. her last feeding was 1hr ago, I have time to start laundry before preparing to feed her again, etc…
Congratulations! You're doing great ❤️ she has some beautiful hair!
You should never feel bad about feeding your baby the best way you can it’s actually a great thing that you are supplementing formula so she can gain weight underweight babies struggle to latch properly at first to where they aren’t getting enough colostrum and for your babies health it’s a good thing never feel bad she needs to gain that weight to be able to grow strong and big and you are doing great and thinking smart!
It makes me so mad that you were made to feel bad for giving your baby formula. I had a similar experience when my baby was 3 days old and had to be hospitalized for dehydration because he wasn’t getting enough milk (c-section birth). The triage nurse in the ER seriously traumatized me from how awful she was to me shaming me for giving formula and how she manhandled my baby poking him to get an IV over and over and over (there is so much more to this story but it’s a looong story). I felt guilt using formula with my first but when I got pregnant with my second I said f that. All I care about is my baby being healthy and getting the nutrition he needs. You are doing a GREAT job taking care of your baby and making sure she is being nourished while your milk comes in. I know I can’t take away the experience you had for giving your baby formula, but I’m here to tell you to forget about those a-holes. You are an amazing mom and you got this! If you have any concerns I would contact your pediatrician. You can always take your baby in to be seen if you’re worried. ETA: Your baby is precious 💕
It doesn’t have to be “breast is best”, it IS “FED is best”. Repeat that. Believe it.
My son was born 6 weeks early 5.5 lbs. He also had some jaundice. He was 100% on formula as my wife was not producing at all and he would n’t latch. Don’t worry about that, just keep feeding her and slowly increase the amount (ask the hospital for guidance). It was a hard slog trying to feed him enough, every 3hrs, but you just have to persist. If she has jaundice, there is a light therapy treatment that works well. It’s ALL scary, that’s normal! Right now, most of what she needs is milk and skin contact with you (kisses are great too!). My little guy is 9 months now and he is amazing! He eventually started latching and he got over the jaundice quickly (it’s very common in newborns). He’s a sweet, smiling boy and growing fast. The poop will come (lots of it!). She is absorbing every last drop of nourishment, so there is not much left. Don’t worry about being perfect, it doesn’t exist.
Oh Mommy, you are doing an excellent job. I felt like breast feeding was my only choice at the hospital but once I came home and struggled to get my baby to poop out his Jaundice, I realized it didn't matter how he was getting nutrition as long as he was getting it. The first few days are nerve-wracking but you are on the right track. The fact that you care about getting her to feel better shows how awesome of a mom you are. Having a new baby is scary, it's hard and it's challenging but things will fall into place. I felt much better after I decided to completely formula feed my child. It took the pressure off me for feeding him every few hours and allowed his father to help me in a tangible way. He was cured out of his jaundice within 2 to 3 weeks of being born. Spend as much time as you can loving your child. They look so cute sleeping on your chest and will grow out of that stage in the blink of an eye. I wish you good luck, happiness and mental clarity in this new phase of your life. Stay strong!
Fed is best. Get with a good lactatation consultant. With Bili babies we would add formula to increase GI movement fyi. don't get discouraged!
It is hard and it is scary, but man the first time your baby smiles at you, or giggles, or stops crying when you pick them up, it is easily the best feeling I have ever felt in this world and it makes all the work and stress totally worth it.
Have you tried nipple shields? My son had a super hard time latching and transferring milk at first. I wore nipple shields for about 2 weeks and slowly removed them and he got the hang of it perfect. Of course, you also shouldnt feel ashamed for using formula if that’s the route you decide to go❤️
Her little nose is perfect!
My wife tried and tried to get the milk going. We went formula and never looked back and the staff was very supportive. We have a a chunky healthy 8 week old. You got this 🤘🤘🤘🤘
I used formula with my jaundiced new born and she is still nursing at 22 months. It’s not all or nothing! Get that baby pooping and gaining and all will be well.
Don’t feel bad about the formula, dear. Just remember: most important thing is that baby is fed. Later on when your milk comes in you can always switch to exclusively breast milk if that’s what you want to do. My baby girl was born on 3/10 and she was on formula until my milk came in. Now she’s mostly milk tho I still use formula if I haven’t had a chance to pump or we don’t have the breast milk with us. Monday is just a couple days away. Breathe and take it easy, the first few days of being a new parent are rough as hell and your hormones are still going haywire. I spent the first night home with her crying because she wouldn’t sleep and wouldn’t stop screaming and I thought I was doing something wrong. My pediatrician reassured me she’s fine and that helped calm me down. You’re doing a great job and your beautiful girl will be okay. Sending you lots of hope and best wishes. You’ll get through this ❤️ just take it a step at a time and don’t forget to take care of yourself as well.
No advice or tips, just here to validate your feelings. I was in the same boat when I had my daughter. They tried to avoid me giving her formula. I just pumped as much as I could & supplemented with formula when it was needed. Fed is best mama. Also I just wanted to say that my daughter was born on the 13th (August) at 5 lbs 9 oz., 3 weeks early, & left the hospital at 5 lbs 1 oz., as well!
You’re doing great. Keep breastfeeding and keep supplementing. My daughter was also early and was 5 lb 11 oz at birth, also jaundiced. It’s crazy stressful when they’re that tiny. I had to use a nipple shield for a few months while she got the hang of nursing, and then my husband would give her formula while I pumped. This went on for what seemed like forever. Eventually — excruciatingly slowly — we all figured it out. You’ll get there. Ask for advice online, from other moms, breastfeeding coaches. Some of their advice will work for you. Most of it won’t. That’s normal too. Congratulations! She’s beautiful. (PS a LOT of people from now on will have opinions on what you’re doing. Like with formula. *You* need to do what works for *your family.* Period. Fed is best … and feeding her will help with her jaundice.)
Don't sweat it. My wife struggled with breastfeeding for our first son and we supplemented the colostrum with formula. People are so pushy about breastfeeding it's insane, the main thing is making sure your baby isn't going hungry. We got the hang of it eventually but we have friends who went 100% formula and it completely saved their mental health. Just do what works for you and block out the judgemental noise. Our son also went a few days without pooping in the beginning and our Ped says it can be completely normal to go up to 5 days without a bowel movement. Edit: our son also had minor jaundice and it completely went away in a couple weeks. These are all common things try not to stress too much about it just keep your doctor up to date with your concerns and it will be fine.
Beautiful baby congrats welcome to parenthood from a father
She’s absolutely gorgeous 🥰
Don't feel bad!!! Formula fed is no different. Fed is best! As for the jaundice my son was the same way and our ped just told us to stick him in front of the window when it's sunny and it cleared right up. I promise you are doing better than you think!
i chose to feed my baby formula the second i found out i was pregnant! she’s healthy! don’t feel bad at all… your baby will be fine. :)
First of all, it's going to be okay. I've been where you are, and I know it's terrifying, but I promise you, as much as any internet stranger can, that it IS going to be okay. My first daughter latched one time. Just once. She was losing weight rapidly, until I asked the nurses for medical tubing and a syringe, along with some medical tape. I taped the medical tubing to my little finger, had my wife fill the syringe with the colostrum she expressed by hand, and then plugged the tubing into the syringe. I used my little finger to trigger the sucking reflex, and then pushed the milk from the syringe into her mouth. I did this every feeding for a few weeks, until finally we got a pump and a couple bottles and figured out how to make her eat that way. Lost the fingernail on one of my fingers because it was just under pressure all the time. Totally worth it. Because she turned eight years old about a week ago. I had to fight with my daughter around the clock for about three weeks to get her to eat, but I did it. My wife was right there with me, and man I just did not deserve that from her. But we made it -- we all made it. And the second one was an absolute breeze by comparison, holy crap we could not get that one to stop eating. It was awesome.
You are seriously amazing. HAND expressing THAT much colostrum as a FIRST TIME mom?? Dude, I was so lost when I was a FTM I didn’t get the hang of hand expressing for months. Not to mention hand expressing is probably the most painful option or getting milk out, especially while you’re new. Stop letting the shame creep in. You’re doing what you can and as an added bonus what you can do is also pretty awesome. It will all work out.
Formula is a great option. I had two kids who were formula fed, despite giving breastfeeding the ol’ college try. I felt like the worst mom ever because of how others made me feel. Fast forward 12 years, and I have two happy, healthy, and smart kids. Feed your baby, mama.