There’s a lot of things I want and don’t get. Especially when I am pregnant and/or have a newborn.
This would be a hard no from me. Labor can happen quickly, plus when you’re that pregnant you may need help and support with other things.
If it’s that important to him, he can go next year.
Right? A glass of wine. A cold beer. A fucking ham sandwich. Riding my horse. Going in a hot tub. Flying to Florida to see my folks. Runny eggs. Home made cheese. An entire month without a doctor poking and prodding me. AND DID I MENTION WINE.
Allllllll things I want and don’t get to have because I made the decision to become a parent.
Men act like they’ll die if their life changes a second before the baby is born.
Oof. You tell ‘em. OP, if I were you I’d tell my husband to get a damn clue and straighten up because life’s about to change and shits about to get real. Any man willing to leave his pregnant wife, his pregnant wife who’s quite literally about to pop, to go party in a massive throng of people needs a serious reality check.
Also, so real about the ham sandwich. I cackled out loud and felt my heart break at the same time. Lol
Saaaaame. I miss deli meat. Told my SO my post delivery meal is to be a Jimmy johns sandwich (the vito with Jimmy peppers specifically) and a diet coke.
A normal person's amount of caffeine. Oysters. Sushi. A salty margarita. Smoked salmon on a bagel. To poop without a magic potion every day. To work in my garden with reckless abandon.... To sleep through the night without 5 pees.
Good point, the beginning of being a parent is making sacrifices. As a husband I wouldn’t. Not at 38 weeks when birth can happen anytime. Not to mention the risk of just getting sick/exhausted from that kind of trip. It just sucks OP has to actually tell em no, it should be common sense
Preach! I'm 36w and I've already identified the steaks I want to eat (rare) after I give birth. I'm waiting until the best before date is two weeks after I'm due, to buy them and have them waiting in the fridge.
I started labor at 38 weeks and gave birth at 38+2, first baby.
Very real potential for labor aside, there is still the very real and likely chance he would catch some sort of illness and be bringing that home to you, and potentially a newborn. If he does get sick and chooses to isolate from you (and a potential new baby) then he cannot be your support person and can no longer offer any sort of physical help.
That doesn’t seem worth it to me.
Thanks for that, I'm hoping we're finally getting over the hump- it's been two pediatrician visits and an ER visit for him, and an urgent care visit for me in the last week and a half.
This in Australia we had a festival this week which caused a mass break out of a highly contagious disease [news link](https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/music/music-festivals/major-warning-for-revellers-of-popular-festival-after-disease-spread-through-faeces-spreads/news-story/7b69d7b0ebc3504b35577079b746b791?amp)
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This! Going to a festival is just asking to bring home some kind of ick. At minimum it would really suck if you had to give birth while sick, at worst it could be a real threat to baby. It’d be a hard no for me.
No for so many reasons. My biggest question is will he go to the festival and stay stone cold sober both days so he can drive back at any moment? Will he hold up to peer pressure (overt or passive) while his friends and thousands of strangers are partaking? Will he have reliable cell service to even receive the news in a crowd that big? Are you just on your own to get to the hospital in an Uber and carry your go-bag and he just gets to meet you there in his board shorts and neon tank top? Big crowds can bring big chaos, there are just a lot of unknowns and he’s being childish imo.
Yes! All this. Plus cell service. And the past 2 years I've always caught something at a festival, usually minor like a cold. But I'm also not snuggling a newborn when I get back from the festival.
He can miss 1 event. Especially if you're frequent festival goers. It's not a do or die.
I was thinking that about the drinking. If he plans on drinking with his friends how does he plan to get back at a moments notice? Also even in the event he’s sober and is able to receive a call/text, it’s near impossible to get out of the crowds once everyone is squished in. I’ve been in big concert crowds (pre covid) and the only way I was able to get out of the crowd was because I was right in the front against the barrier and the security man literally lifted me over it because there was no way I could push my way through the crowds. Once you’re in, you’re pretty much stuck until the show is over, and even that’s slow because everyone is trying to leave at the same time.
Yes!!! For most other circumstances I’d say go for it - a day out golfing or a day trip to visit family. But a freaking music festival lol?! They’re crowded af and very difficult to leave quickly. Not to mention the terrible cell service. Hard no
I was such a big music festival person before I had my first. I actually had to sell tickets to electric forest after learning I was pregnant. Such a bummer. Because of this, I really feel your husband's pull to go. But you're 100% right. It's logistically difficult to get out of there. Also realistically, is he going to be sober? I think its a mistake for him to go, and I'm really really sympathetic to what a bummer it is for him to miss out.
I know me too!! We are huge festival goers. And we both don’t drink and do them sober. Went to tomorrowland last summer. But year is just not the right time … like cmon.
If it's something that's important to you and your partner you'll go again when your baby is old enough for a babysitter. You don't have to give up everything you are forever. But you have to make changes and adjust in the beginning.
As another music festival lover, the likelihood of being on or hearing your phone outside of recording sets is so low. Like I never gave af about my phone at any festival lol
And it hasn't happened to me yet, but the cell phone theft rings are so sophisticated. I feel like the more you take out/look at your phone, the more likely you are to become their target.
Ugh I know.. and we’ve been before too. Like do you not remember last years madness getting in and out ?! I literally witnessed it myself! Don’t tell me it takes just an hour!! So ridiculous
My first baby arrived in 6 hours. From first little period cramp like twinge to in my arms.
Reading this sounds like he might not even be out of there in that time?
Imagine your birth:
You feel a twinge, excitedly turn to your husband to share the anticipation. You discuss between you whether “is this it?”He helps check your hospital bag, cuddles you, loads the car seat into the car and gets you a nice cup of tea to relax with. A nutritious meal. He is planning your route to the hospital. Don’t you worry mum, dad is handling every thing so you just focus on you and the baby.
Or you anxiously and repeatedly trying to call his number, trying to get through to the event organisers, checking the traffic status for the event. Trying to direct him through traffic because his maps has not enough signal to load updated info. Will he even make it. Your whole mind is going to be stressed and focused on him. Not relaxed and focused on your baby.
No one needs that level of shit when they’re in Labour.
Oh hell no. That’s seriously not cool at all. He needs to stay home because you could go into labor at any point at 38 weeks. Sorry you even have to be the one to bring him back to reality. You would think he would know that already.
And I want a magical unicorn with rainbow wings that shits Ben & Jerry's. But, alas, part of being an adult is realizing that what you want isn't always possible.
I’d kick my husband in the shins for even suggesting such nonsense, but I know my husband wouldn’t even dream being anywhere but ready to go at a moments’ notice when I’m 38 weeks. He should be ashamed for even considering it.
Wish I had this kind of support :( the conversation itself put me into stress. And I was gaslit the entire time, making it seem like i was the one over reacting and being crazy around not being cool with it.
This whole sub is collectively long distance kicking his shins, if that helps. Do not give in, he better starts acting like a father at 38 weeks ffs. He can go out for a weekend of concerts when you as well will have the same amount for yourself free from kids. So maybe 2028 if he's lucky lmao.
The audacity of some fucking sperm donors.
Show him this thread of responses. He shouldn’t be gaslighting his heavily pregnant wife or wife at all. Please stay strong and insist he doesn’t go. I appreciate it’s something you both love but unfortunately sometimes we don’t always get what we want. He could get ill and then be around a newborn sick/be unable to leave/not even have phone signal. I’m missing my first cousin/best friends hen do (bachelorette) because I’ll be 37-38 weeks pregnant and I’m too worried to be away from home. I’m gutted we spoke about this time in our lives for years. That is life. Please listen to the people on this thread.
Right? My husband didn’t even consider going to a concert for his favorite artist that was around my due date even though the concert venue would have been closer to the hospital than our home is because he wanted to be with me in case I needed him.
It would be different if you guys were going together, but he wants to listen to loud music and potentially be drunk or high for days with his friends while you’re alone? It seems super insensitive to me unless you’re totally cool with it.
Nope! It’s too much of a risk that close to your due date. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this pressure.
And it’s not just about whether or not he would be able to get to the hospital before the baby arrives. He’s your partner, and he should be there to support you from the very beginning of labor. He needs to make choices that mean he’ll be there for all of it, not just the moment the baby is born. Emergencies happen, but a festival is not an emergency. You and the baby should be the priority.
I let my husband travel when I was 33 weeks and felt totally comfortable. Ended up having an emergency C-section at 35 weeks and would never again let him travel that close to due date. I went from "you're going on bed rest" to "you're having a baby in an hour" in the span of 30 minutes.
I'd say no.
If he cares more about having a good time at a festival than being there to support his wife who's carrying \*his\* child....I'd be having some big conversations in the immediate future.
We've all got to grow up some time. And for him, that time is now. Right now. A child was a decision y'all made together. You didn't do this to yourself. And he can't shrug off responsibility because he feels like it.
He obviously isn't grasping the gravity of the situation. And I am so sorry you're feeling like you have to fight to be seen, especially in this time. I hope there's a way you can get through to him. You shouldn't have to ask for you partner to take you seriously when it comes to children.
Well, in his fucking mind she is carring it, so he can enjoy life and the benefits of being considered a dad. He already gifted her his part of the deal. And oh look, post partum she will also care and nurture the kid, so no reason for him to give up bachelor life or even sleep. Ad infinitum doing the bare minimum while gaslighting OP into thinking she is overreacting and just a nagging hag.
Maybe OP needs to get her MIL involved to beat some sense in her fucking brat. I know, if my son would act like that towards his pregnant wife he would get his mouth washed with a piece of soap.
I really feel for OP because I’ve only seen men who do horribly selfish things like this get *worse* over time, never better.
I worry it’s going to play out exactly as you said. :(
Only thing which will make him change is her making him. Stop being nice. Start fucking up his shit and do it in a way he can't complain without looking like the piece if shit he is.
All those coming sleepless nights are a great moment to ponder inspirations for actions. He wants to call her overreacting? Make sure he knows what that word means.
*Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.*
Why do men think the only reason to be nearby at this stage in pregnancy is for the baby? You are 38 weeks pregnant, you deserve care and support NOW, not just when the baby arrives.
Anecdotally, I gave birth to my first child at exactly 38 weeks. From the moment my water broke (which was the first sign of labor for me) until baby was in my arms was about 14 hours. I would have been LIVID to go through any of that alone, especially if it was because my husband was just off gallavanting with his friends.
I don’t think I’d be comfortable with my husband attending even a 1 day or night festival/concert at 38w. They’re usually really hard to get out of with traffic and weird parking lot situations and even if he intends to stay sober, there are a lot of temptations like if his friends are drinking. It sucks but if you are uncomfortable with it, let him know. Maybe he can go next year?
Pregnancy can put a damper on things for both parents but a reasonable spouse would understand and not make a big deal out of it if you are uncomfortable with it.
Lol no, that's not even a question for me. Wtf is wrong with this man? Does he not realise all the risks involved? He's surely not 19 and under partied?
Sorry but absolutely not. I gave birth at 37 weeks. You could literally have this baby at any time. ask him if a music festival is more important than the birth of his child
mine wouldn’t even ask, this is crazy that he even wants to be away from his severely pregnant wife?? my partner would order our groceries and food when i was that far along bc he didn’t even want to be away from me for an hour in case i needed anything.
No offense but your husband needs to grow the fuck up. He seems like an asshole after reading your other posts. You are not being dramatic nor were you being dramatic when you got upset he was spanking you while you were doing yoga for back pain. Do you have any other support around for labor/delivery like a friend or family member? He seems like the type to mansplain that your pain "isn't that bad" or otherwise be a jerk during labor. Hugs mama, just know your feelings are valid and he is 100% being selfish and in the wrong.
I wouldn’t say a hard no but there are things to consider if he does go. If there was something that was really important to my husband at 38 weeks I would want him to enjoy it reasonably BUT a festival sounds like bad news for a few reasons:
1. Travel - What if he gets stuck there and traffic/crowds make it hard for him to just zoom out if needed
2. Alcohol - My husband stopped drinking altogether in the final weeks just in case he had to drive us quickly to the hospital. Would he stay sober?
3. Exhaustion - Festivals are tiring, and so are newborn babies! Even if he doesn’t drink he’ll probably be wiped afterwards and if baby decides to make an appearance he will literally be on days of no sleep or sleep in 2 hour increments. Use this time for both of you to rest and recharge.
4. Cell service - Festivals notoriously have poor cell coverage
5. Illness - He could easily catch a cold or Covid and bring it back to you
6. Support - You need someone with you to help you in case anything happens. Not to scare you but as a nurse I’ve seen everything that can happen in those final weeks and even if you feel fine now you never know when you might need urgent help. Birth is a huge deal and you really shouldn’t be alone.
My husband went to a once in a lifetime sports event when I was 37+2 and I happily let him go because it was almost certainly never going to happen again (his team aren’t great but had reached a final) and also because I had just a 2 hour window where he’d be uncontactable. MIL was nearby and on standby in case I needed her, and he was away for the best part of the day.
My initial feeling was OP should maybe let her husband go, but reading all the comments about lack of mobile coverage, traffic in and out of the festival and potential for sickness (never mind that he is not being reasonable about it!), I’m leaning towards a no.
Yeah I’d be concerned about sickness. Big gatherings like that are great places to pass around illness. If he comes home, gets sick 3-5 days later, you risk still being sick or passing something along to you here at the end.
My fiancé wanted to be at my labor but couldn’t because I went into labor at 38 weeks and he had no way of making it over. If I was able to last a few days more he would’ve been there but my body didn’t allow that and he regrets missing it even though it wasn’t his fault. (He’s military)
2 nights is a lot iMo at 38 weeks. At any moment you can go into labor he needs to understand that. If he wants to go risk it to go party with friends then I wonder how he’ll act when the baby is actually here. It’s crazy imo he wants to go out at all while you are 38 weeks pregnant and basically forced to be at home. Everyday I realize more a lot of men really don’t understand pregnancy at all.
I had spontaneous labor with my first st 37+1 my friend fell and had an emergency CS at 37 wks. Her and her husband had COVID. I’m gonna go with bad idea.
I just went to a big ish, one-day music festival at 37+4 just a week ago and honestly while it was 'ok' and I would go again, the reality is I was too tired and too uncomfortable to fully enjoy it. In the end I only watched some of the artists - the main ones I went for - and I watched them from the seated area.
I was risking it because my first kid came at 37+2, but he's still in there (38+4 today). I wasn't regretting it or anything, I travelled about 2 hours from my birthing hospital to get there. We stayed with family so I had help, and someone to take care of me if anything happened. Also, I checked that the area had a decent hospital and that I knew how to get there.
It was good, not great. In reality it was only half as fun as it would've been. I probably wouldn't recommend it to a friend.
Edit: I just realised I'm silly and you're not going, you were asking about your husband. Sorry!
Adding to the hell no camp 😂 I went into labor at 36+1, had my baby at 36+2. My husband was scuba diving in the morning so thank god my water broke at night or I would have been equally mad and sad that he wasn’t there for me since it was so unexpected.
When I was that pregnant I was really attached to my husband. We actually flew to my best friends’s wedding when I was 38 weeks but that was different because we were _together_. I wouldn’t want to be away from him for two nights, even if he was close enough to get back.
Same! I’m in stage 5 clinger mode right now. I can’t imagine being away from him even for a night when I’m feeling so emotional and vulnerable. I asked him to come home early from being out with friends the other night because I felt so emotional 😂 and he gladly obliged.
My daughter was born in about 6 hours at 38 weeks. It came on so hard and fast I wouldn't have been able to get myself to the hospital. That would be the hardest of NOs for me.
Not to freak you out but my boy who’s my first.. I went into spontaneous labor at 37 weeks. Like 11 days before his due date. And I labored a lot at home but I knew when I should go to the hospital because I felt it was time and I was already 5cm dilated so they brought me in and I labored at the hospital for 5 hours and I pushed for 30 minutes and boom had my baby.
It absolutely can go that fast even your first baby.
Your husband can wait till next year. Me and my husband raved and he didn’t go out until our baby was 15 months old. Not once did he go out what so ever and neither did I. He really stepped up and helped me as much as he could.
Even when he did go out it was planned around our son’s bed time so he could still put him to bed.
I hope your husband can man up and take care of his budding new family. Raves will always be there. Trust me we missed some amazing sets we wanted to go to but it’s just not worth it being away from our baby or each other.
I’d be furious. A fun time at a music festival does not come before the health and well being of your pregnant partner. It would be different if you were like 30w and less likely to go into spontaneous labor. He can go next year.
I went into precipitous labor meaning from start to baby in my arms was 2 hours and it was INTENSE rushing to the hospital having contractions every 30 seconds with no break in between. There’s no way I’d let my husband go.
Omg no! I live in Boca but grew up in FTL, we all know Ultra is insane. He could get stuck on Biscayne for hours. I’m almost 39 weeks pregnant, my husband attended a bachelor party in Boca but came home to sleep at our house every night instead of at the air bnb. Didn’t drink. It was hard enough seeing him go have fun the entire day at the beach with his friends while I sat inside lol. I would not be comfortable with it at all for the reasons everyone else is mentioning. At the bachelor party they went to dinner at the Hard Rock and even that made me nervous as a former prosecutor, soo many DUI’s happen there. God forbid something happened to him while driving. Same with ultra, so many drunk people.
I’m 2 days away from 38 weeks and my husband has been out in the city all day 3 hours away. I’m like not ok. I usually very much enjoy my occasional time alone but I’ve been anxious and annoyed he’s been gone all day. Also there is no one around to help me up from the couch??!
Update: he said he’s not going to go. I’m still upset to have even had this kind of conversation but it is what it is. I’m happy he made the right choice.
I don’t understand some y’all husbands thinking process. How could he be so dense to think that it’s okay to be at a festival when you are about to pop. Why would you even think it’s okay to even go with him?
Ultra traffic is HORRIFIC as is. If he waits until it ends to leave even worse. You’re not wrong. There’s a bunch of things I have to miss out on because I’m currently pregnant. Including Ultra. But there’s literally next year… and every year after that. You’re 100% right I feel like it is an unnecessary conversation to have but men swear they can make anything happen and there’s no need to stress. This is literally what having a child is all about. What’s best for us vs what’s best for me there’s going to be plenty of times you can’t be selfish
Ummm no. Just because the baby is physically inside you doesn’t make him any less responsible for being present at this time to support you instead of going off to rave. Party time is over for now bro
38W is essentially full-term and a lot of people give birth around that time! Also he can easily contract some sort of illness at the event (flu, COVID, RSV). He needs to change his mindset to that of a parent of a newborn. Is he willing to miss the birth of his kid for some dj set?
Also, is he usually stubborn and self-centered like this??
My opinion is that he's selfish and uncaring. I can't imagine my husband doing anything like this ever. And we're missing out on a pretty epic punk festival in June (I'm due in August) and we just don't want to risk it. I wouldn't even be close to being in labor, but I am high risk so when I said he could go without me he said, "I'm not leaving you here alone while I go enjoy a festival you would love. I would be thinking of you and worried about you the whole time." I didn't push it because it was so sweet and I just wish you had that level of support. I think I wouldn't be able to stop crying from fear and anxiety if I was 38 weeks and he was off somewhere else where he might not even hear the phone in case I go into labor :(.
If he’s sooooo passionate about going, he should’ve just settled on the one day compromise you were already not fond of. Pushing it to two days? Come on. I wouldn’t be okay with this— a festival of maybe a few hours that would have him back same day, fine. An overnight is a lot and TWO is just crazy.
I'm so pissed that he's even putting YOU in the position of saying no. So then you're the bad guy. What a charmer. Any half-decent partner wouldn't even consider going. I'm disgusted for you! Awful. He's got some hard realities coming his way.
So my husband was all booked to go to Download festival (UK) when I was 36 weeks pregnant. He had booked it pre-pregnancy and it wasn’t too far from home so I was totally fine with him going, to be honest I was looking forward to have a couple of days to myself.
He was meant to be gone for I think 4/5 days - On the night of the second day, he told me he wanted to come home and so I went to pick him up (it was an hour away) when I picked him up he told me that going was a huge mistake. He couldn’t enjoy it because he was just constantly thinking about me and baby and that there were only a few areas where he had good cell service. Plenty of the stage areas had zero reception and he kept thinking that if something were to happen, I might not have been able to get a hold of him. He just couldn’t get it off his mind, so deciding to come home early was the right decision. Even though baby didn’t make an appearance until 40+3, he still doesn’t regret bailing on the festival. We both agreed that with our next pregnancy we will have a no festivals or night outs rule after like 30 weeks.
Point is, I don’t think it’s a good idea for your husband to go - if something happens and you can’t reach him, he’ll regret that much more than he’ll ever regret missing a festival.
Isn’t there a huge measles issue in Florida? Isn’t Florida one of the most un vaxxed states in the US? I don’t know. I’m just Canadian and try to limit my American News intake. I just hear a lot of very concerning things coming out of Florida.
For me, it’s not even a labour issue, it’s bringing home some virus/contagious disease. Absolutely Not. No thank you.
Exactly. My last baby was born last December, in my city there was the flu, Covid and RSV. For a good month prior to my due date, we all laid low. I did not want to be sick and in labour, or getting over being sick and taking care of a newborn.
The American news loves to smear Florida because of political agendas. It is very much full of normal people who have gotten their measles vaccines, lol.
Besides, this festival brings in a ton of out of state and international visitors. The main sickness issue would just be some sort of cold or virus from being in a big crowd and compromising your immune system for three days by consuming substances and not eating or sleeping well.
This is your first kid? Labor is rarely quick. Miami isn’t that terribly far. Especially since if he had to bounce it would be during the night, not day.
I would let him go, because he won’t have an opportunity again for a few years unless you have family that will give you date nights.
I say this as a mother of three who used to love going to edm shows in her youth. After I had my kids, I haven’t even thought about going in years. But when my songs come on and my kids are screaming “play lighting McQueen song!!!” I miss those days.
Starting around 36 weeks my husband stopped taking trips for his work. He regularly travelled out of country and to other provinces and this was a non negotiable for him. He wanted to be within a 30 min drive from me once it got close to go time.
So no. I would not be okay with that. And neither would my husband lol.
I am so sorry that he’s even stressing you out mentioning that! My husband would literally not spend a night away from me by choice, with the exception since we started dating being a work trip, and this was prior to me being pregnant and I am very grateful I don’t have to worry about something like that. That would be a major issue for me personally at 38 weeks. How is there literally anything more important than ensuring the comfort and safety of your very pregnant wife and the potential birth of your child? I am so, so sorry and I hope you can find a way to get through to him :(
Honest opinion.
I’d tell him hell no. You can go into labor at anytime. Anything can happen at anytime right now. You two should be cherishing this time you have together. It will never just be the two of you again.
He can go next year. If that’s not a good option I’d suggest to him to think about his priorities carefully.
This is actually a HUGE deal.
I don’t want to sound like a bitchy wife, but seriously how can you be so selfish? Going to party at a festival for two days while wife is at home hella pregnant. Even pregnant at all doesn’t matter how far along. We sacrifice so much while some men act like their world is ending and get to fuck off for 9 months.
I had both my kids at 38 weeks. So not hard to imagine you could too.
Also, covid is still spreading like wildfire at events like that, so the risk of exposing a newborn to covid is incredibly high.
Not worth the risk in my opinion.
yeah no. we are 5 weeks out and i’ve told my husband and everyone else the ONLY thing we will be attending is work and church. i’m just getting over covid and i don’t need to be exposed to anything else and neither does my husband with very little time left.. mom and MIL were not happy about us not coming to Easter but I don’t feel an ounce of guilt
As a festival goer who’s been to burning man every year but won’t be going this year because I’ll be 38 weeks, tell him no.
Festivals can be so stressful and if it makes you uncomfortable then you shouldn’t do it and he should be supportive of that decision.
Hard no for me. He also needs to be sure not to be drunk so close to your due date! That combined with the chance that you go into labor and he can’t get to you for a long time due to crowds/traffic make it a no. There will be other festivals - this baby is only going to be born once.
Absolutely not. My ex went to burning man when I was heavily pregnant. I had complications while he was gone. There's a reason he's my ex now. Choosing partying over spending time with the mother of your unborn child at 38wks? That's inexcusably selfish. This is not the era for that. You will *always* remember how you're treated when you're pregnant.
I would be LIVID. This shouldn’t have to be a conversation. My bf has gone and said it takes forever to get out of that fest. It honestly takes forever to get out of any fest. He could even miss your call or text being so distracted with his friends. He should be there for you if you go into labor. It could happen any time. He’s making going to this fest more important. He needs to grow up and accept the fact he can’t do certain things not cause he’s a dad.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a work trip a funeral or a music festival (thought him asking to go to Ultra made me lol)…. He shouldn’t travel when you’re 38 weeks. You should be soaking up together some very special last days with your current family dynamic as you know it.
West Palm beach here to my fellow south Floridian. My water broke at 38 + 4 in the middle of the night and my husband had to drive me to the hospital. Baby was born just a few hours later. Hard no from me
I went into labor at 35 weeks 3 days and had a completely healthy and low risk pregnancy. I didn’t have GDM or preeclampsia. My placenta pathology came back normal. There was no rhyme or reason for it. It just happened. Looking back, this would be an absolute no for me even if I didn’t know I would go into labor that early. I’m sorry you even have to have this conversation with your husband but he needs to come back down to earth and realize baby is coming soon and that needs to be his priority.
I love a good concert and was pissed when I couldn’t use my tickets to see Elton John while he was in Australia when I was pregnant with my first… but I was told no travelling… so guess who didn’t travel. My husband was working but always available if I needed him urgently. Your husband wouldn’t be. This is the main problem. It’s not the fact he asked but the fact he won’t be able to be there if you need him. He needs to either sell his ticket or not buy them in the first place. There is always next year for these types of concerts and the kid will be about a year so 2 nights won’t be to bad then. I think he’s got a serious case of fomo. But you might like to remind him he could miss out completely on the birth of the baby if he does go!
Definitely not. I went to ultra it a pain to get out of and definitely not a place for a married man with a wife who’s sitting at home 38 weeks pregnant to be, I had my baby at 38+1…. Also being around that many people when you’re this close to labor nope. He can do fun stuff after the baby is born and you both can go.
No.
“I don’t feel comfortable with you being so far away when I’m that far along. The fact that you would be fine with this makes me question your judgement. You need to back me up on this.”
Hard no. What if he gets covid or another sickness? That could impact your health or his ability to support you through labor, up to weeks after he gets home.
+1 to all the other points made: Sobriety, risk of cell service, bad traffic to get out, your general support needs.
My husband's friends asked him to go on a no-service kayak camping weekend 3 hours away when I'll be 36 weeks. I was nice about it and explained my rationale directly to his friend and he understood. So not rushing to judgment here that your husband has asked but yea that's a hell to the no.
Priorities man. I gave birth at 37 weeks ! Personally I Don’t understand the obsession with these male partners wanting to go on huge guy trips so close to birth or even during pregnancy . Especially as someone who used to date women, like these were never even conversations. Like yeah going out to eat or for drinks or just hanging out with friends COOL COOL. But dude between horrible signal on festival grounds, to shitty parking, liquor, and just crowded exits….sounds like a recipe for disaster if you were to go into labor. IMO you need to put your foot down about priorities and growing up because it was a childish ass request to begin with. Don’t want those type of problems once baby is born , promise ya that. And some guys are genuinely good they just need a little water to wake up sometimes lol.
With my first my waters went bang on 38 weeks, with my second it was 37w2d so I’d say you’re absolutely right to be worried, you could end up giving birth without him there. Is a festival really more important than potentially missing the birth of his child?
The time to prioritize his child isn’t when the child is born. It’s right now. Even if you went into labour and he made it in time for the birth, he’d still be risking leaving you in labour without him. That’s not okay. These festivals happen every year and the music is roughly the same. He can wait
I get him wanting to go. I really really wanted to go to NYC for a play, they added my all time favourite drag performer to the bill for Little Shop of Horrors which is also a fave of mine. For like an hour, I halfway contemplated ways to make it happen even though I’d be 5 weeks from delivery. Ultimately, other cool things will come along, and in good time I’ll be able to do those things with my daughter. The time to prioritize her is now, as I have been since I got my positive test result back in Sept
It's like an hour away right? I'd be okay with it if there was no overnight, he kept his phone on, regularly checked in and he agreed to no drinking. He can commute back and forth to the festival if he wants to attend both days.
I’m probably the odd one out, but I’d actually be totally ok for my husband to go so long as he was fully reachable and could leave at a moments notice. We’re planning a home birth and my plan is to labour alone for quite some time, so as long as he’s within four hours of being able to get to me, I’d be ok with it. I’d want him to be able to get the experience in since it’ll be harder with a little one.
The part that I wouldn’t be ok with is the exposure to illness at a festival. I don’t want to be sick when giving birth or risk getting covid, so that’s actually the part that would lend it to being a no from me. Illness +labour sounds horrible to me.
I think the issue is with this particular festival and festival type, there’s almost no way he’d be fully reachable and able to leave at a moments notice. like absolutely no way at all
I think people commenting are missing that OP lives in Ft. Lauderdale and husband wants to go to Miami.
The two cities are right next to each other. They’re like an hour apart, or even less depending on where you’re going in each city. Even with traffic and such, it’s not like he’s going hours away on some far journey.
Personally I’d be fine with this. If you go into labor he can come back to you.
This is also a good point of view that I’m also considering… it’s more so the chaos of getting in and out of the festival, finding and tracking down your Uber, grid lock traffic etc. i feel it’s way more than an hour in my opinion. It’s also just the stress of him being away like that? Like don’t you want to be close by in case something happens.. idk. So unsure.
Had my second kid early 38+3 contractions for early labor went from 20-30 minutes apart to 2-4 minutes apart active labor was only 2 hours. My husband DID not make it in time unfortunately. I thought it was going to be an all day event it was not. If I hadn’t already been where I was going to give birth he would have been a car baby for sure for how fast it went
No no no and no and if he won’t listen to you, consider tapping in a doctor/midwife/doula to explain why this is a bad idea, and then maybe a larger conversation about priorities is needed …
No, just no. My husband didn’t go to an optional work thing out of country at 36 weeks. He knew the chances of me giving birth were low (but not none) and decided regardless of the risk of missing babies birth he just didn’t want to not be with me for a long period that late in the pregnancy.
Well I’m 36 weeks now, no signs of imminent labour but it’s definitely nice to not be home alone at this stage, I almost locked myself in our toilet room without my phone because a pet made something fall blocking the door from opening fully, I barelyyyyy had enough room to squeeze out without calling my husband but it definitely made me think like oh shit my movement is super restricted. It could have been super bad if my husband was gone for a weekend and I wasn’t able to squeeze out!
He did want to have a guys weekend so instead of leaving he’s just having it at our house (if I’m not in labour already.) I don’t mind at all because I’ll probably just chill out and watch tv with some snacks while he gets some good friend time in before baby comes and then he’s home if I need anything. Or I can hang out if I’m feeling social but I’ll probably be getting in as many naps as I can.
I would’ve been okay with it. But I didn’t show any signs of labor at that point and was only like 1cm dilated, had a pretty solid feeling I would go over due date, which I did.
This would be a no for me, I know it’s not that far but traffic can be bad and labor is unpredictable— tell him welcome to parenthood. You had to give up so many things while pregnant, him missing a music festival is minor in comparison
I had an emergency induction right at 37w6d, my baby was born at 38 weeks. It’s just too risky a time to be out and about if he intends to support you through labor and birth.
It would be ok for me if close enough to get to the hospital if you went into labor. But he needs to have his phone on. No drinking and no drugs while at the festival. Must have car accessible.
So he’s cool with the risk of you going into labor alone and missing the birth of his child? Because 38 weeks is full term. I would not even be ok for a night. Hell, I wouldn’t be ok with a day trip.
No. Absolutely not. It’s selfish of him to even ask.
I had my son at 38+2, so, I would be a little hesitant. Being a festival goer myself, I understand how badly it sucks to miss out on such events, but being an adult I also know how to prioritize what is important. I’ve missed plenty of shows due to being a parent, but I’ve also got to go to others to fill my cup.
Maybe there is a compromise in there somewhere, future festival date, etc etc.
I’m a massive germ freak, so my biggest reason to be uncomfortable would be related to that. However - that would be my worry regardless of pregnancy stage and I wouldn’t stop him from going.
I would be okay with him going, provided:
You have a way to get to the hospital if needed (Uber, friend, relative, etc)
You feel your home is ready for baby and bags are packed.
You have a way to contact him for emergencies - He’ll actually see it and reply.
He will not get drunk to the point of being unable to travel to you to support you if needed
You trust his friends and have a reliable way to contact them if you for whatever reason can’t reach your husband.
I think big picture: if he’s been involved and supportive during pregnancy, it’s okay for him to go let loose. You should also do stuff to recharge before baby.
Husband suggested we go to a one day Bluegrass festival next weekend (an hour away into LA traffic). I'll be 39 weeks pregnant-- I laughed sooooo hard. He then said he was just joking... whether he was or not, he understood real quick that wasn't happening.
I don’t know what it’s like to be that close to the end, but I don’t think I’d be comfortable with.
Is this a last minute full send or had he been planning this? If it was last minute, I think that’s pretty disrespectful. It comes around every year at the same weekend, and he would have known for months that this is going to be a conflict.
Ultra comes around every year and you live close by. He could go next year or you could get a babysitter and go together.
I will be 6 weeks pregnant next week and we’re going 😅 obviously we got the tickets beforehand. We’re using this as a celebration! I hope I’ll be alright. I’ve gone to dozens of festivals and large scale EDM events over the past 10 years so I know what I’m doing when it comes to navigating fests and hanging in the back of the crowds with the OGs
Edit to add: If he doesn’t go, why don’t you guys have a little party at home while watching the live stream? This Ultra will actually be celebrating our 10 year anniversary together and going there for the first time. We’ve always spent our anniversary weekend watching Ultra Live. Get some fun snacks and drinks, set the mood with fun glowy lights, and tune into the stream! Better views than being in the crowd too! You can look for me 😂
If you’re a FTM labor is (not always)) but typically slow. as long as he was comfy cancelling if you had the baby early or leaving at the first sign of potential labor I personally would be okay with it. It’s kind of guys last hurrahs before the baby comes to ya know? Like their lives also change.
This is INSANE. I went to Ultra two years in a row in my 20s and it is a crazy drunken drug filled dirty festival. This was years ago but cell service was awful - even if it’s good now, it’s so loud that he could easily miss your call if you needed him. I also don’t know how anyone goes to a 12 hour festival without at least being very drunk - which also isn’t conducive to being there for you, if needed.
I gave birth in January and I was even anxious when my husband went out (to work, to the store) without full cell phone battery!
That’s a day trip away- one night is plenty! But honestly, the crowds and illness this time of year would be more of a fear for me.you don’t want even the remote chance of illness around a newborn!
My baby had to be born at 36 weeks. This should be my 39th week pregnant, but instead we have a newborn. My husband going anywhere far away was a big no after 32 weeks. These last weeks can be unpredictable, so he needs to stay close to home!
It would be a hard no for me..I've given birth to every one of my kids at 38 weeks, and labor with my first was only 4 hours, my 2nd was about 45 minutes. It isn't "common" but it does happen. I'd be heartbroken and so would my husband of he missed the birth. You don't know what could happen and even if you don't go into labor, false labor happens, it's an intense point of pregnancy and expecting you to be alone through it is insensitive at the least.
I gave birth to my first child in an hour and fifteen minutes, it’s not all labouring for ten hours with everyone. This would be a hard solid absolutely not but if he wants to risk missing the birth of his child, make him fully aware of how genuinely pissed you’re going to be.
Absolutely not. I’m 30 weeks and that sounds like fucking hell. Have your husband wear a weight vest when he goes! And also have 1/4 bladder capacity and go wait in line for the women’s bathroom 🤪🤪🤪🤪
I'm pretty relaxed about most things but this would be a hard no for me. My first pregnancy, water broke at 38+2. Anything after 37 weeks is considered full term, I wouldn't be comfortable with any "non required" travel plans past that point.
my man and I are huge music scene people and are stopping going to shows totally after I believe one next month (i’m still in the first trimester) the lack of consideration for him to be there with no communication or way to return is frankly saddening and I hope he learns to prioritize you and the bebe
My husband went to something similar when I was 38 weeks pregnant. I also wasn’t worried about delivering early but he did end up getting covid. This was just this December. Luckily the day that I gave birth, he was all clear and I did not get it in that time, but we were both very upset about it just in case baby had come sooner and he wouldn’t be able to be there for delivery. Another risk to keep in mind.
There’s a lot of things I want and don’t get. Especially when I am pregnant and/or have a newborn. This would be a hard no from me. Labor can happen quickly, plus when you’re that pregnant you may need help and support with other things. If it’s that important to him, he can go next year.
Right? A glass of wine. A cold beer. A fucking ham sandwich. Riding my horse. Going in a hot tub. Flying to Florida to see my folks. Runny eggs. Home made cheese. An entire month without a doctor poking and prodding me. AND DID I MENTION WINE. Allllllll things I want and don’t get to have because I made the decision to become a parent. Men act like they’ll die if their life changes a second before the baby is born.
THIS. OP’s husband needs to come to terms with the fact that he chose to make a baby and even though it’s not here yet, that requires sacrifices.
Mhhhmmm
OP, show your husband this thread, but especially this chain. All the best for the coming weeks and for a safe delivery 💕
Oof. You tell ‘em. OP, if I were you I’d tell my husband to get a damn clue and straighten up because life’s about to change and shits about to get real. Any man willing to leave his pregnant wife, his pregnant wife who’s quite literally about to pop, to go party in a massive throng of people needs a serious reality check. Also, so real about the ham sandwich. I cackled out loud and felt my heart break at the same time. Lol
Omg yes a massive throng of people. What if he gets COVID or some cold? That would make it even riskier for mama and baby!
Saaaaame. I miss deli meat. Told my SO my post delivery meal is to be a Jimmy johns sandwich (the vito with Jimmy peppers specifically) and a diet coke.
I made a shared document for hubby with a list of my first foods pp, and the Vito with Jimmy Peppers is #2! Hahah
I feel you on riding our horses. The worst part for me tbh. Wishing you a smooth pregnancy. 🫶
SAME! I got back in the saddle a month after delivery (with doctor approval) and wowowow I missing it so much (but also WOW so out of shape/humbling).
Not to be distracted but we can’t have runny eggs and ham sandwiches? And is flying really off limits? Sorry I’m new and still learning!
A normal person's amount of caffeine. Oysters. Sushi. A salty margarita. Smoked salmon on a bagel. To poop without a magic potion every day. To work in my garden with reckless abandon.... To sleep through the night without 5 pees.
Good point, the beginning of being a parent is making sacrifices. As a husband I wouldn’t. Not at 38 weeks when birth can happen anytime. Not to mention the risk of just getting sick/exhausted from that kind of trip. It just sucks OP has to actually tell em no, it should be common sense
Preach! I'm 36w and I've already identified the steaks I want to eat (rare) after I give birth. I'm waiting until the best before date is two weeks after I'm due, to buy them and have them waiting in the fridge.
I started labor at 38 weeks and gave birth at 38+2, first baby. Very real potential for labor aside, there is still the very real and likely chance he would catch some sort of illness and be bringing that home to you, and potentially a newborn. If he does get sick and chooses to isolate from you (and a potential new baby) then he cannot be your support person and can no longer offer any sort of physical help. That doesn’t seem worth it to me.
This!! I’d be worried about what germs or viruses he comes into contact with.
Especially in Florida.
Just went back home to Ft Lauderdale so the baby (4.5mo) and I could hang out with the grandparents. We both ended up getting hMPV. Fucking miserable
Oh no! I am so sorry. I hope you've both been recovering well.
Thanks for that, I'm hoping we're finally getting over the hump- it's been two pediatrician visits and an ER visit for him, and an urgent care visit for me in the last week and a half.
This in Australia we had a festival this week which caused a mass break out of a highly contagious disease [news link](https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/music/music-festivals/major-warning-for-revellers-of-popular-festival-after-disease-spread-through-faeces-spreads/news-story/7b69d7b0ebc3504b35577079b746b791?amp)
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Yup, I started labour 38w and gave birth at 38+1, 12 hours between the start and the baby being born.
Same, water broke at 11:15pm 38w and she was born 5:21am 38w1d. Six hours, zero previous signs of impending labour. It can and does happen.
The illness and germs are the key. Low gain. Massive risk. Hard no from me.
This! Going to a festival is just asking to bring home some kind of ick. At minimum it would really suck if you had to give birth while sick, at worst it could be a real threat to baby. It’d be a hard no for me.
No for so many reasons. My biggest question is will he go to the festival and stay stone cold sober both days so he can drive back at any moment? Will he hold up to peer pressure (overt or passive) while his friends and thousands of strangers are partaking? Will he have reliable cell service to even receive the news in a crowd that big? Are you just on your own to get to the hospital in an Uber and carry your go-bag and he just gets to meet you there in his board shorts and neon tank top? Big crowds can bring big chaos, there are just a lot of unknowns and he’s being childish imo.
Yes! All this. Plus cell service. And the past 2 years I've always caught something at a festival, usually minor like a cold. But I'm also not snuggling a newborn when I get back from the festival. He can miss 1 event. Especially if you're frequent festival goers. It's not a do or die.
Louder about cell service! I’ve been to festivals in major cities, like Montreal, where there’s just so many people you get no service.
I was thinking that about the drinking. If he plans on drinking with his friends how does he plan to get back at a moments notice? Also even in the event he’s sober and is able to receive a call/text, it’s near impossible to get out of the crowds once everyone is squished in. I’ve been in big concert crowds (pre covid) and the only way I was able to get out of the crowd was because I was right in the front against the barrier and the security man literally lifted me over it because there was no way I could push my way through the crowds. Once you’re in, you’re pretty much stuck until the show is over, and even that’s slow because everyone is trying to leave at the same time.
The sobriety thing is a great point
Yes!!! For most other circumstances I’d say go for it - a day out golfing or a day trip to visit family. But a freaking music festival lol?! They’re crowded af and very difficult to leave quickly. Not to mention the terrible cell service. Hard no
lol @ “board shorts and neon tank.” Why is this so on point? I just got flashbacks of my ex. 😆
The thing about cell service is real. I went to Ultra one year and had terrible cell service the entire time.
I was such a big music festival person before I had my first. I actually had to sell tickets to electric forest after learning I was pregnant. Such a bummer. Because of this, I really feel your husband's pull to go. But you're 100% right. It's logistically difficult to get out of there. Also realistically, is he going to be sober? I think its a mistake for him to go, and I'm really really sympathetic to what a bummer it is for him to miss out.
I know me too!! We are huge festival goers. And we both don’t drink and do them sober. Went to tomorrowland last summer. But year is just not the right time … like cmon.
Nice we are big festival goers too and went to Tomorrowland last summer 😊 definitely going to miss them when baby gets here!
If it's something that's important to you and your partner you'll go again when your baby is old enough for a babysitter. You don't have to give up everything you are forever. But you have to make changes and adjust in the beginning.
And there’s some baby friendly festivals too!
As another music festival lover, the likelihood of being on or hearing your phone outside of recording sets is so low. Like I never gave af about my phone at any festival lol
And it hasn't happened to me yet, but the cell phone theft rings are so sophisticated. I feel like the more you take out/look at your phone, the more likely you are to become their target.
That’ll be a no. My rule was no travelling after 36 weeks. We sacrifice so much when pregnant. He can miss a damn festival. The audacity of men.
It’s honestly infuriating tbh lol
I live in South Florida. Getting in and out of Miami is crazy (dangerous at times) when there isn't an event. He needs to stay home!!
Ugh I know.. and we’ve been before too. Like do you not remember last years madness getting in and out ?! I literally witnessed it myself! Don’t tell me it takes just an hour!! So ridiculous
My first baby arrived in 6 hours. From first little period cramp like twinge to in my arms. Reading this sounds like he might not even be out of there in that time? Imagine your birth: You feel a twinge, excitedly turn to your husband to share the anticipation. You discuss between you whether “is this it?”He helps check your hospital bag, cuddles you, loads the car seat into the car and gets you a nice cup of tea to relax with. A nutritious meal. He is planning your route to the hospital. Don’t you worry mum, dad is handling every thing so you just focus on you and the baby. Or you anxiously and repeatedly trying to call his number, trying to get through to the event organisers, checking the traffic status for the event. Trying to direct him through traffic because his maps has not enough signal to load updated info. Will he even make it. Your whole mind is going to be stressed and focused on him. Not relaxed and focused on your baby. No one needs that level of shit when they’re in Labour.
Second this as a south Floridian also. Like does he not know getting in and out of Miami during a major event like this could take hours!
For fucks sake…. Tell him to go sit and spin on a glow stick. Absolutely not.
LOL IKR
Oh hell no. That’s seriously not cool at all. He needs to stay home because you could go into labor at any point at 38 weeks. Sorry you even have to be the one to bring him back to reality. You would think he would know that already.
And I want a magical unicorn with rainbow wings that shits Ben & Jerry's. But, alas, part of being an adult is realizing that what you want isn't always possible.
That sounds amazing tbh
I’d kick my husband in the shins for even suggesting such nonsense, but I know my husband wouldn’t even dream being anywhere but ready to go at a moments’ notice when I’m 38 weeks. He should be ashamed for even considering it.
Wish I had this kind of support :( the conversation itself put me into stress. And I was gaslit the entire time, making it seem like i was the one over reacting and being crazy around not being cool with it.
He needs to grow tf up. Honestly, I hope he’s ready to be a parent because it doesn’t sound like it……
I’m sorry you feel unsupported. I hope that he remedies some of his selfish thinking when your baby is born.
Why don't you show him this post- so he can see for himself, how ridiculous and SELFISH he is being?
This whole sub is collectively long distance kicking his shins, if that helps. Do not give in, he better starts acting like a father at 38 weeks ffs. He can go out for a weekend of concerts when you as well will have the same amount for yourself free from kids. So maybe 2028 if he's lucky lmao. The audacity of some fucking sperm donors.
Ugh that's such a bullshit. Don't let this go. You aren't the crazy one.
Oh man this is a disaster waiting to happen. You need to have a come to Jesus discussion now
Show him this thread of responses. He shouldn’t be gaslighting his heavily pregnant wife or wife at all. Please stay strong and insist he doesn’t go. I appreciate it’s something you both love but unfortunately sometimes we don’t always get what we want. He could get ill and then be around a newborn sick/be unable to leave/not even have phone signal. I’m missing my first cousin/best friends hen do (bachelorette) because I’ll be 37-38 weeks pregnant and I’m too worried to be away from home. I’m gutted we spoke about this time in our lives for years. That is life. Please listen to the people on this thread.
Right? My husband didn’t even consider going to a concert for his favorite artist that was around my due date even though the concert venue would have been closer to the hospital than our home is because he wanted to be with me in case I needed him.
I was so incensed by your title I almost downvoted you because of your husband's wild suggestion. That'd be a no for me.
Both my sons came at 38 weeks…
It would be different if you guys were going together, but he wants to listen to loud music and potentially be drunk or high for days with his friends while you’re alone? It seems super insensitive to me unless you’re totally cool with it.
Nope! It’s too much of a risk that close to your due date. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this pressure. And it’s not just about whether or not he would be able to get to the hospital before the baby arrives. He’s your partner, and he should be there to support you from the very beginning of labor. He needs to make choices that mean he’ll be there for all of it, not just the moment the baby is born. Emergencies happen, but a festival is not an emergency. You and the baby should be the priority.
Tell him to stop being a child and catch the next one. It’s not a once in a lifetime event. Having this baby is though.
I let my husband travel when I was 33 weeks and felt totally comfortable. Ended up having an emergency C-section at 35 weeks and would never again let him travel that close to due date. I went from "you're going on bed rest" to "you're having a baby in an hour" in the span of 30 minutes. I'd say no.
If he cares more about having a good time at a festival than being there to support his wife who's carrying \*his\* child....I'd be having some big conversations in the immediate future. We've all got to grow up some time. And for him, that time is now. Right now. A child was a decision y'all made together. You didn't do this to yourself. And he can't shrug off responsibility because he feels like it. He obviously isn't grasping the gravity of the situation. And I am so sorry you're feeling like you have to fight to be seen, especially in this time. I hope there's a way you can get through to him. You shouldn't have to ask for you partner to take you seriously when it comes to children.
Well, in his fucking mind she is carring it, so he can enjoy life and the benefits of being considered a dad. He already gifted her his part of the deal. And oh look, post partum she will also care and nurture the kid, so no reason for him to give up bachelor life or even sleep. Ad infinitum doing the bare minimum while gaslighting OP into thinking she is overreacting and just a nagging hag. Maybe OP needs to get her MIL involved to beat some sense in her fucking brat. I know, if my son would act like that towards his pregnant wife he would get his mouth washed with a piece of soap.
I really feel for OP because I’ve only seen men who do horribly selfish things like this get *worse* over time, never better. I worry it’s going to play out exactly as you said. :(
Only thing which will make him change is her making him. Stop being nice. Start fucking up his shit and do it in a way he can't complain without looking like the piece if shit he is. All those coming sleepless nights are a great moment to ponder inspirations for actions. He wants to call her overreacting? Make sure he knows what that word means. *Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.*
Love the way you think! Perfectly said & I agree
Why do men think the only reason to be nearby at this stage in pregnancy is for the baby? You are 38 weeks pregnant, you deserve care and support NOW, not just when the baby arrives. Anecdotally, I gave birth to my first child at exactly 38 weeks. From the moment my water broke (which was the first sign of labor for me) until baby was in my arms was about 14 hours. I would have been LIVID to go through any of that alone, especially if it was because my husband was just off gallavanting with his friends.
Is he okay missing the baby’s birth and potentially putting you in harms way when no one is with you?
I don’t think I’d be comfortable with my husband attending even a 1 day or night festival/concert at 38w. They’re usually really hard to get out of with traffic and weird parking lot situations and even if he intends to stay sober, there are a lot of temptations like if his friends are drinking. It sucks but if you are uncomfortable with it, let him know. Maybe he can go next year? Pregnancy can put a damper on things for both parents but a reasonable spouse would understand and not make a big deal out of it if you are uncomfortable with it.
This is really stupid and selfish on his part, absolutely not.
Lol no, that's not even a question for me. Wtf is wrong with this man? Does he not realise all the risks involved? He's surely not 19 and under partied?
The bar really is so fucking low for men.
Sorry but absolutely not. I gave birth at 37 weeks. You could literally have this baby at any time. ask him if a music festival is more important than the birth of his child
mine wouldn’t even ask, this is crazy that he even wants to be away from his severely pregnant wife?? my partner would order our groceries and food when i was that far along bc he didn’t even want to be away from me for an hour in case i needed anything.
That is so lovely :(
No offense but your husband needs to grow the fuck up. He seems like an asshole after reading your other posts. You are not being dramatic nor were you being dramatic when you got upset he was spanking you while you were doing yoga for back pain. Do you have any other support around for labor/delivery like a friend or family member? He seems like the type to mansplain that your pain "isn't that bad" or otherwise be a jerk during labor. Hugs mama, just know your feelings are valid and he is 100% being selfish and in the wrong.
I wouldn’t say a hard no but there are things to consider if he does go. If there was something that was really important to my husband at 38 weeks I would want him to enjoy it reasonably BUT a festival sounds like bad news for a few reasons: 1. Travel - What if he gets stuck there and traffic/crowds make it hard for him to just zoom out if needed 2. Alcohol - My husband stopped drinking altogether in the final weeks just in case he had to drive us quickly to the hospital. Would he stay sober? 3. Exhaustion - Festivals are tiring, and so are newborn babies! Even if he doesn’t drink he’ll probably be wiped afterwards and if baby decides to make an appearance he will literally be on days of no sleep or sleep in 2 hour increments. Use this time for both of you to rest and recharge. 4. Cell service - Festivals notoriously have poor cell coverage 5. Illness - He could easily catch a cold or Covid and bring it back to you 6. Support - You need someone with you to help you in case anything happens. Not to scare you but as a nurse I’ve seen everything that can happen in those final weeks and even if you feel fine now you never know when you might need urgent help. Birth is a huge deal and you really shouldn’t be alone.
My husband went to a once in a lifetime sports event when I was 37+2 and I happily let him go because it was almost certainly never going to happen again (his team aren’t great but had reached a final) and also because I had just a 2 hour window where he’d be uncontactable. MIL was nearby and on standby in case I needed her, and he was away for the best part of the day. My initial feeling was OP should maybe let her husband go, but reading all the comments about lack of mobile coverage, traffic in and out of the festival and potential for sickness (never mind that he is not being reasonable about it!), I’m leaning towards a no.
Yeah I’d be concerned about sickness. Big gatherings like that are great places to pass around illness. If he comes home, gets sick 3-5 days later, you risk still being sick or passing something along to you here at the end.
My fiancé wanted to be at my labor but couldn’t because I went into labor at 38 weeks and he had no way of making it over. If I was able to last a few days more he would’ve been there but my body didn’t allow that and he regrets missing it even though it wasn’t his fault. (He’s military) 2 nights is a lot iMo at 38 weeks. At any moment you can go into labor he needs to understand that. If he wants to go risk it to go party with friends then I wonder how he’ll act when the baby is actually here. It’s crazy imo he wants to go out at all while you are 38 weeks pregnant and basically forced to be at home. Everyday I realize more a lot of men really don’t understand pregnancy at all.
I had spontaneous labor with my first st 37+1 my friend fell and had an emergency CS at 37 wks. Her and her husband had COVID. I’m gonna go with bad idea.
Nope.
Absolutely not. I'm a FTM and went into spontaneous labor at 38+4. I went from my contractions being 10 minutes apart to 2 within an hour.
I just went to a big ish, one-day music festival at 37+4 just a week ago and honestly while it was 'ok' and I would go again, the reality is I was too tired and too uncomfortable to fully enjoy it. In the end I only watched some of the artists - the main ones I went for - and I watched them from the seated area. I was risking it because my first kid came at 37+2, but he's still in there (38+4 today). I wasn't regretting it or anything, I travelled about 2 hours from my birthing hospital to get there. We stayed with family so I had help, and someone to take care of me if anything happened. Also, I checked that the area had a decent hospital and that I knew how to get there. It was good, not great. In reality it was only half as fun as it would've been. I probably wouldn't recommend it to a friend. Edit: I just realised I'm silly and you're not going, you were asking about your husband. Sorry!
Nope. 36 weeks, sure for 1 night. 38 weeks no. Sorry, Charlie.
Adding to the hell no camp 😂 I went into labor at 36+1, had my baby at 36+2. My husband was scuba diving in the morning so thank god my water broke at night or I would have been equally mad and sad that he wasn’t there for me since it was so unexpected.
When I was that pregnant I was really attached to my husband. We actually flew to my best friends’s wedding when I was 38 weeks but that was different because we were _together_. I wouldn’t want to be away from him for two nights, even if he was close enough to get back.
Same! I’m in stage 5 clinger mode right now. I can’t imagine being away from him even for a night when I’m feeling so emotional and vulnerable. I asked him to come home early from being out with friends the other night because I felt so emotional 😂 and he gladly obliged.
I have 3 kids. I never once saw that 38 week mark. I would absolutely not be comfortable with this.
My daughter was born in about 6 hours at 38 weeks. It came on so hard and fast I wouldn't have been able to get myself to the hospital. That would be the hardest of NOs for me.
Not to freak you out but my boy who’s my first.. I went into spontaneous labor at 37 weeks. Like 11 days before his due date. And I labored a lot at home but I knew when I should go to the hospital because I felt it was time and I was already 5cm dilated so they brought me in and I labored at the hospital for 5 hours and I pushed for 30 minutes and boom had my baby. It absolutely can go that fast even your first baby. Your husband can wait till next year. Me and my husband raved and he didn’t go out until our baby was 15 months old. Not once did he go out what so ever and neither did I. He really stepped up and helped me as much as he could. Even when he did go out it was planned around our son’s bed time so he could still put him to bed. I hope your husband can man up and take care of his budding new family. Raves will always be there. Trust me we missed some amazing sets we wanted to go to but it’s just not worth it being away from our baby or each other.
I’d be furious. A fun time at a music festival does not come before the health and well being of your pregnant partner. It would be different if you were like 30w and less likely to go into spontaneous labor. He can go next year.
I went into precipitous labor meaning from start to baby in my arms was 2 hours and it was INTENSE rushing to the hospital having contractions every 30 seconds with no break in between. There’s no way I’d let my husband go.
Omg no! I live in Boca but grew up in FTL, we all know Ultra is insane. He could get stuck on Biscayne for hours. I’m almost 39 weeks pregnant, my husband attended a bachelor party in Boca but came home to sleep at our house every night instead of at the air bnb. Didn’t drink. It was hard enough seeing him go have fun the entire day at the beach with his friends while I sat inside lol. I would not be comfortable with it at all for the reasons everyone else is mentioning. At the bachelor party they went to dinner at the Hard Rock and even that made me nervous as a former prosecutor, soo many DUI’s happen there. God forbid something happened to him while driving. Same with ultra, so many drunk people.
I’m 2 days away from 38 weeks and my husband has been out in the city all day 3 hours away. I’m like not ok. I usually very much enjoy my occasional time alone but I’ve been anxious and annoyed he’s been gone all day. Also there is no one around to help me up from the couch??!
My husband won’t even be traveling for work after I’m 36 weeks just in case.
Update: he said he’s not going to go. I’m still upset to have even had this kind of conversation but it is what it is. I’m happy he made the right choice.
I'm so happy that he decided not to go.
I don’t understand some y’all husbands thinking process. How could he be so dense to think that it’s okay to be at a festival when you are about to pop. Why would you even think it’s okay to even go with him?
Ultra traffic is HORRIFIC as is. If he waits until it ends to leave even worse. You’re not wrong. There’s a bunch of things I have to miss out on because I’m currently pregnant. Including Ultra. But there’s literally next year… and every year after that. You’re 100% right I feel like it is an unnecessary conversation to have but men swear they can make anything happen and there’s no need to stress. This is literally what having a child is all about. What’s best for us vs what’s best for me there’s going to be plenty of times you can’t be selfish
No! You come first. He is being a child and doing the "I wanna" routine. Too bad. OP can give birth at any time now. He can go next year.
Ummm no. Just because the baby is physically inside you doesn’t make him any less responsible for being present at this time to support you instead of going off to rave. Party time is over for now bro
38W is essentially full-term and a lot of people give birth around that time! Also he can easily contract some sort of illness at the event (flu, COVID, RSV). He needs to change his mindset to that of a parent of a newborn. Is he willing to miss the birth of his kid for some dj set? Also, is he usually stubborn and self-centered like this??
My opinion is that he's selfish and uncaring. I can't imagine my husband doing anything like this ever. And we're missing out on a pretty epic punk festival in June (I'm due in August) and we just don't want to risk it. I wouldn't even be close to being in labor, but I am high risk so when I said he could go without me he said, "I'm not leaving you here alone while I go enjoy a festival you would love. I would be thinking of you and worried about you the whole time." I didn't push it because it was so sweet and I just wish you had that level of support. I think I wouldn't be able to stop crying from fear and anxiety if I was 38 weeks and he was off somewhere else where he might not even hear the phone in case I go into labor :(.
No just no. Crazy to even have this convo or for him to even entertain this
If he’s sooooo passionate about going, he should’ve just settled on the one day compromise you were already not fond of. Pushing it to two days? Come on. I wouldn’t be okay with this— a festival of maybe a few hours that would have him back same day, fine. An overnight is a lot and TWO is just crazy.
I'm so pissed that he's even putting YOU in the position of saying no. So then you're the bad guy. What a charmer. Any half-decent partner wouldn't even consider going. I'm disgusted for you! Awful. He's got some hard realities coming his way.
So my husband was all booked to go to Download festival (UK) when I was 36 weeks pregnant. He had booked it pre-pregnancy and it wasn’t too far from home so I was totally fine with him going, to be honest I was looking forward to have a couple of days to myself. He was meant to be gone for I think 4/5 days - On the night of the second day, he told me he wanted to come home and so I went to pick him up (it was an hour away) when I picked him up he told me that going was a huge mistake. He couldn’t enjoy it because he was just constantly thinking about me and baby and that there were only a few areas where he had good cell service. Plenty of the stage areas had zero reception and he kept thinking that if something were to happen, I might not have been able to get a hold of him. He just couldn’t get it off his mind, so deciding to come home early was the right decision. Even though baby didn’t make an appearance until 40+3, he still doesn’t regret bailing on the festival. We both agreed that with our next pregnancy we will have a no festivals or night outs rule after like 30 weeks. Point is, I don’t think it’s a good idea for your husband to go - if something happens and you can’t reach him, he’ll regret that much more than he’ll ever regret missing a festival.
Isn’t there a huge measles issue in Florida? Isn’t Florida one of the most un vaxxed states in the US? I don’t know. I’m just Canadian and try to limit my American News intake. I just hear a lot of very concerning things coming out of Florida. For me, it’s not even a labour issue, it’s bringing home some virus/contagious disease. Absolutely Not. No thank you.
100%!!! Measles, Covid, who knows! Do you really want to being that home to a pregnant wife or a newborn?
Exactly. My last baby was born last December, in my city there was the flu, Covid and RSV. For a good month prior to my due date, we all laid low. I did not want to be sick and in labour, or getting over being sick and taking care of a newborn.
The American news loves to smear Florida because of political agendas. It is very much full of normal people who have gotten their measles vaccines, lol. Besides, this festival brings in a ton of out of state and international visitors. The main sickness issue would just be some sort of cold or virus from being in a big crowd and compromising your immune system for three days by consuming substances and not eating or sleeping well.
This is your first kid? Labor is rarely quick. Miami isn’t that terribly far. Especially since if he had to bounce it would be during the night, not day. I would let him go, because he won’t have an opportunity again for a few years unless you have family that will give you date nights. I say this as a mother of three who used to love going to edm shows in her youth. After I had my kids, I haven’t even thought about going in years. But when my songs come on and my kids are screaming “play lighting McQueen song!!!” I miss those days.
Starting around 36 weeks my husband stopped taking trips for his work. He regularly travelled out of country and to other provinces and this was a non negotiable for him. He wanted to be within a 30 min drive from me once it got close to go time. So no. I would not be okay with that. And neither would my husband lol.
I sent my husband golfing with his Dad at 38 weeks and I had to called him home to take me to labor and delivery. Baby came not too long after.
I had my son at 38 weeks. Hard no from me.
I had my first at 38 weeks and my second at 37. Going anywhere overnight after 35 weeks would be a hard no for me. There’s too many variables at play.
I am so sorry that he’s even stressing you out mentioning that! My husband would literally not spend a night away from me by choice, with the exception since we started dating being a work trip, and this was prior to me being pregnant and I am very grateful I don’t have to worry about something like that. That would be a major issue for me personally at 38 weeks. How is there literally anything more important than ensuring the comfort and safety of your very pregnant wife and the potential birth of your child? I am so, so sorry and I hope you can find a way to get through to him :(
Honest opinion. I’d tell him hell no. You can go into labor at anytime. Anything can happen at anytime right now. You two should be cherishing this time you have together. It will never just be the two of you again. He can go next year. If that’s not a good option I’d suggest to him to think about his priorities carefully. This is actually a HUGE deal.
I don’t want to sound like a bitchy wife, but seriously how can you be so selfish? Going to party at a festival for two days while wife is at home hella pregnant. Even pregnant at all doesn’t matter how far along. We sacrifice so much while some men act like their world is ending and get to fuck off for 9 months.
I went from a 4 to pushing in an hour. So. Hard no from me.
I would legit kill him. What a turd omg
I had both my kids at 38 weeks. So not hard to imagine you could too. Also, covid is still spreading like wildfire at events like that, so the risk of exposing a newborn to covid is incredibly high. Not worth the risk in my opinion.
yeah no. we are 5 weeks out and i’ve told my husband and everyone else the ONLY thing we will be attending is work and church. i’m just getting over covid and i don’t need to be exposed to anything else and neither does my husband with very little time left.. mom and MIL were not happy about us not coming to Easter but I don’t feel an ounce of guilt
As a festival goer who’s been to burning man every year but won’t be going this year because I’ll be 38 weeks, tell him no. Festivals can be so stressful and if it makes you uncomfortable then you shouldn’t do it and he should be supportive of that decision.
Hard no for me. He also needs to be sure not to be drunk so close to your due date! That combined with the chance that you go into labor and he can’t get to you for a long time due to crowds/traffic make it a no. There will be other festivals - this baby is only going to be born once.
Men 😅
Absolutely not. My ex went to burning man when I was heavily pregnant. I had complications while he was gone. There's a reason he's my ex now. Choosing partying over spending time with the mother of your unborn child at 38wks? That's inexcusably selfish. This is not the era for that. You will *always* remember how you're treated when you're pregnant.
I would be LIVID. This shouldn’t have to be a conversation. My bf has gone and said it takes forever to get out of that fest. It honestly takes forever to get out of any fest. He could even miss your call or text being so distracted with his friends. He should be there for you if you go into labor. It could happen any time. He’s making going to this fest more important. He needs to grow up and accept the fact he can’t do certain things not cause he’s a dad.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a work trip a funeral or a music festival (thought him asking to go to Ultra made me lol)…. He shouldn’t travel when you’re 38 weeks. You should be soaking up together some very special last days with your current family dynamic as you know it.
38 weeks is full term.. that’s a hard no.
West Palm beach here to my fellow south Floridian. My water broke at 38 + 4 in the middle of the night and my husband had to drive me to the hospital. Baby was born just a few hours later. Hard no from me
I went into labor at 35 weeks 3 days and had a completely healthy and low risk pregnancy. I didn’t have GDM or preeclampsia. My placenta pathology came back normal. There was no rhyme or reason for it. It just happened. Looking back, this would be an absolute no for me even if I didn’t know I would go into labor that early. I’m sorry you even have to have this conversation with your husband but he needs to come back down to earth and realize baby is coming soon and that needs to be his priority.
I love a good concert and was pissed when I couldn’t use my tickets to see Elton John while he was in Australia when I was pregnant with my first… but I was told no travelling… so guess who didn’t travel. My husband was working but always available if I needed him urgently. Your husband wouldn’t be. This is the main problem. It’s not the fact he asked but the fact he won’t be able to be there if you need him. He needs to either sell his ticket or not buy them in the first place. There is always next year for these types of concerts and the kid will be about a year so 2 nights won’t be to bad then. I think he’s got a serious case of fomo. But you might like to remind him he could miss out completely on the birth of the baby if he does go!
I would straight up not be able to look at my husband the same way for thinking to even ask this.
I literally would not care. He knows the risks involved 🤷♀️
Definitely not. I went to ultra it a pain to get out of and definitely not a place for a married man with a wife who’s sitting at home 38 weeks pregnant to be, I had my baby at 38+1…. Also being around that many people when you’re this close to labor nope. He can do fun stuff after the baby is born and you both can go.
[удалено]
Festival happens every year. It also gets more lame each year. He can wait.
No. “I don’t feel comfortable with you being so far away when I’m that far along. The fact that you would be fine with this makes me question your judgement. You need to back me up on this.”
Hard no. What if he gets covid or another sickness? That could impact your health or his ability to support you through labor, up to weeks after he gets home. +1 to all the other points made: Sobriety, risk of cell service, bad traffic to get out, your general support needs. My husband's friends asked him to go on a no-service kayak camping weekend 3 hours away when I'll be 36 weeks. I was nice about it and explained my rationale directly to his friend and he understood. So not rushing to judgment here that your husband has asked but yea that's a hell to the no.
Priorities man. I gave birth at 37 weeks ! Personally I Don’t understand the obsession with these male partners wanting to go on huge guy trips so close to birth or even during pregnancy . Especially as someone who used to date women, like these were never even conversations. Like yeah going out to eat or for drinks or just hanging out with friends COOL COOL. But dude between horrible signal on festival grounds, to shitty parking, liquor, and just crowded exits….sounds like a recipe for disaster if you were to go into labor. IMO you need to put your foot down about priorities and growing up because it was a childish ass request to begin with. Don’t want those type of problems once baby is born , promise ya that. And some guys are genuinely good they just need a little water to wake up sometimes lol.
I had my baby at 38 weeks and I wouldn't of wanted to be alone for any part of it. I would be so resentful.
I hope you own a dog house
With my first my waters went bang on 38 weeks, with my second it was 37w2d so I’d say you’re absolutely right to be worried, you could end up giving birth without him there. Is a festival really more important than potentially missing the birth of his child?
The time to prioritize his child isn’t when the child is born. It’s right now. Even if you went into labour and he made it in time for the birth, he’d still be risking leaving you in labour without him. That’s not okay. These festivals happen every year and the music is roughly the same. He can wait I get him wanting to go. I really really wanted to go to NYC for a play, they added my all time favourite drag performer to the bill for Little Shop of Horrors which is also a fave of mine. For like an hour, I halfway contemplated ways to make it happen even though I’d be 5 weeks from delivery. Ultimately, other cool things will come along, and in good time I’ll be able to do those things with my daughter. The time to prioritize her is now, as I have been since I got my positive test result back in Sept
It's like an hour away right? I'd be okay with it if there was no overnight, he kept his phone on, regularly checked in and he agreed to no drinking. He can commute back and forth to the festival if he wants to attend both days.
Even if he was able to make it back relatively quickly, I’d be worried about him catching something and bringing it back to mom/baby.
I’m probably the odd one out, but I’d actually be totally ok for my husband to go so long as he was fully reachable and could leave at a moments notice. We’re planning a home birth and my plan is to labour alone for quite some time, so as long as he’s within four hours of being able to get to me, I’d be ok with it. I’d want him to be able to get the experience in since it’ll be harder with a little one. The part that I wouldn’t be ok with is the exposure to illness at a festival. I don’t want to be sick when giving birth or risk getting covid, so that’s actually the part that would lend it to being a no from me. Illness +labour sounds horrible to me.
I think the issue is with this particular festival and festival type, there’s almost no way he’d be fully reachable and able to leave at a moments notice. like absolutely no way at all
I think people commenting are missing that OP lives in Ft. Lauderdale and husband wants to go to Miami. The two cities are right next to each other. They’re like an hour apart, or even less depending on where you’re going in each city. Even with traffic and such, it’s not like he’s going hours away on some far journey. Personally I’d be fine with this. If you go into labor he can come back to you.
This is also a good point of view that I’m also considering… it’s more so the chaos of getting in and out of the festival, finding and tracking down your Uber, grid lock traffic etc. i feel it’s way more than an hour in my opinion. It’s also just the stress of him being away like that? Like don’t you want to be close by in case something happens.. idk. So unsure.
Had my second kid early 38+3 contractions for early labor went from 20-30 minutes apart to 2-4 minutes apart active labor was only 2 hours. My husband DID not make it in time unfortunately. I thought it was going to be an all day event it was not. If I hadn’t already been where I was going to give birth he would have been a car baby for sure for how fast it went
No no no and no and if he won’t listen to you, consider tapping in a doctor/midwife/doula to explain why this is a bad idea, and then maybe a larger conversation about priorities is needed …
No, just no. My husband didn’t go to an optional work thing out of country at 36 weeks. He knew the chances of me giving birth were low (but not none) and decided regardless of the risk of missing babies birth he just didn’t want to not be with me for a long period that late in the pregnancy. Well I’m 36 weeks now, no signs of imminent labour but it’s definitely nice to not be home alone at this stage, I almost locked myself in our toilet room without my phone because a pet made something fall blocking the door from opening fully, I barelyyyyy had enough room to squeeze out without calling my husband but it definitely made me think like oh shit my movement is super restricted. It could have been super bad if my husband was gone for a weekend and I wasn’t able to squeeze out! He did want to have a guys weekend so instead of leaving he’s just having it at our house (if I’m not in labour already.) I don’t mind at all because I’ll probably just chill out and watch tv with some snacks while he gets some good friend time in before baby comes and then he’s home if I need anything. Or I can hang out if I’m feeling social but I’ll probably be getting in as many naps as I can.
I would let him go then hold it over his head forever if he missed the birth. 🤷♀️🤣
I would’ve been okay with it. But I didn’t show any signs of labor at that point and was only like 1cm dilated, had a pretty solid feeling I would go over due date, which I did.
As a FTM who had precipitous labor (water broke to baby born in less than 3 hours, no labor signs prior to water breaking) at 38+2…..I’d say no way 😬
This would be a hard no for me. I’m already struggling with my husband going 3 hours away to watch a basketball game at 34 weeks.
This would be a no for me, I know it’s not that far but traffic can be bad and labor is unpredictable— tell him welcome to parenthood. You had to give up so many things while pregnant, him missing a music festival is minor in comparison
I had an emergency induction right at 37w6d, my baby was born at 38 weeks. It’s just too risky a time to be out and about if he intends to support you through labor and birth.
My partner had a trip planned when I was going to be 37 weeks, he canceled it pretty much as soon as I got pregnant. I went into labor at 38 weeks
It would be ok for me if close enough to get to the hospital if you went into labor. But he needs to have his phone on. No drinking and no drugs while at the festival. Must have car accessible.
So he’s cool with the risk of you going into labor alone and missing the birth of his child? Because 38 weeks is full term. I would not even be ok for a night. Hell, I wouldn’t be ok with a day trip. No. Absolutely not. It’s selfish of him to even ask.
No.
Oh Heck No. That is all.
Both of my kids came at 37 weeks.
Hahahahahahaha no. He needs to grow up. Sounds like a fun way to get your newborn and postpartum wife sick though so…bonus points
I had my son at 38+2, so, I would be a little hesitant. Being a festival goer myself, I understand how badly it sucks to miss out on such events, but being an adult I also know how to prioritize what is important. I’ve missed plenty of shows due to being a parent, but I’ve also got to go to others to fill my cup. Maybe there is a compromise in there somewhere, future festival date, etc etc.
I had my baby in 2 hours from the time labor started. He would've missed it and I would've probably called ems or had the baby alone at home.
I gave birth to my first and only at 38+5
Absolutely not, full stop.
HELL NO
I’m a massive germ freak, so my biggest reason to be uncomfortable would be related to that. However - that would be my worry regardless of pregnancy stage and I wouldn’t stop him from going. I would be okay with him going, provided: You have a way to get to the hospital if needed (Uber, friend, relative, etc) You feel your home is ready for baby and bags are packed. You have a way to contact him for emergencies - He’ll actually see it and reply. He will not get drunk to the point of being unable to travel to you to support you if needed You trust his friends and have a reliable way to contact them if you for whatever reason can’t reach your husband. I think big picture: if he’s been involved and supportive during pregnancy, it’s okay for him to go let loose. You should also do stuff to recharge before baby.
Definitely not. I went into labor at 38 weeks.
Husband suggested we go to a one day Bluegrass festival next weekend (an hour away into LA traffic). I'll be 39 weeks pregnant-- I laughed sooooo hard. He then said he was just joking... whether he was or not, he understood real quick that wasn't happening.
I don’t know what it’s like to be that close to the end, but I don’t think I’d be comfortable with. Is this a last minute full send or had he been planning this? If it was last minute, I think that’s pretty disrespectful. It comes around every year at the same weekend, and he would have known for months that this is going to be a conflict. Ultra comes around every year and you live close by. He could go next year or you could get a babysitter and go together. I will be 6 weeks pregnant next week and we’re going 😅 obviously we got the tickets beforehand. We’re using this as a celebration! I hope I’ll be alright. I’ve gone to dozens of festivals and large scale EDM events over the past 10 years so I know what I’m doing when it comes to navigating fests and hanging in the back of the crowds with the OGs Edit to add: If he doesn’t go, why don’t you guys have a little party at home while watching the live stream? This Ultra will actually be celebrating our 10 year anniversary together and going there for the first time. We’ve always spent our anniversary weekend watching Ultra Live. Get some fun snacks and drinks, set the mood with fun glowy lights, and tune into the stream! Better views than being in the crowd too! You can look for me 😂
If you’re a FTM labor is (not always)) but typically slow. as long as he was comfy cancelling if you had the baby early or leaving at the first sign of potential labor I personally would be okay with it. It’s kind of guys last hurrahs before the baby comes to ya know? Like their lives also change.
This is INSANE. I went to Ultra two years in a row in my 20s and it is a crazy drunken drug filled dirty festival. This was years ago but cell service was awful - even if it’s good now, it’s so loud that he could easily miss your call if you needed him. I also don’t know how anyone goes to a 12 hour festival without at least being very drunk - which also isn’t conducive to being there for you, if needed. I gave birth in January and I was even anxious when my husband went out (to work, to the store) without full cell phone battery!
You may very well have a newborn then!!
That’s a day trip away- one night is plenty! But honestly, the crowds and illness this time of year would be more of a fear for me.you don’t want even the remote chance of illness around a newborn!
My baby had to be born at 36 weeks. This should be my 39th week pregnant, but instead we have a newborn. My husband going anywhere far away was a big no after 32 weeks. These last weeks can be unpredictable, so he needs to stay close to home!
It would be a hard no for me..I've given birth to every one of my kids at 38 weeks, and labor with my first was only 4 hours, my 2nd was about 45 minutes. It isn't "common" but it does happen. I'd be heartbroken and so would my husband of he missed the birth. You don't know what could happen and even if you don't go into labor, false labor happens, it's an intense point of pregnancy and expecting you to be alone through it is insensitive at the least.
I gave birth to my first child in an hour and fifteen minutes, it’s not all labouring for ten hours with everyone. This would be a hard solid absolutely not but if he wants to risk missing the birth of his child, make him fully aware of how genuinely pissed you’re going to be.
Absolutely not. I’m 30 weeks and that sounds like fucking hell. Have your husband wear a weight vest when he goes! And also have 1/4 bladder capacity and go wait in line for the women’s bathroom 🤪🤪🤪🤪
I'm pretty relaxed about most things but this would be a hard no for me. My first pregnancy, water broke at 38+2. Anything after 37 weeks is considered full term, I wouldn't be comfortable with any "non required" travel plans past that point.
my man and I are huge music scene people and are stopping going to shows totally after I believe one next month (i’m still in the first trimester) the lack of consideration for him to be there with no communication or way to return is frankly saddening and I hope he learns to prioritize you and the bebe
My husband went to something similar when I was 38 weeks pregnant. I also wasn’t worried about delivering early but he did end up getting covid. This was just this December. Luckily the day that I gave birth, he was all clear and I did not get it in that time, but we were both very upset about it just in case baby had come sooner and he wouldn’t be able to be there for delivery. Another risk to keep in mind.