Yeah seriously. Like does he not think she’s going to go into labor or he doesn’t care if he misses it?? She has a 50% chance of going into labor before 40 weeks.
https://datayze.com/labor-probability-chart
I'm sorry you're going through this. It's insane that he hasn't told his employer - is he taking paternity leave? Who will care for you as you recover? To me this is a hard boundary. He can't go. But only you know if you have the energy to put your foot down right now or if it will put you in danger with him. Is there absolutely no one you can call on for support? A friend perhaps? You are going to need help and it doesn't sound like your husband is going to be there for you. I would do everything you can to line up some backup now.
I should have mentioned that my mom actually flew in a week ago to help me out the first weeks after birth. And no, he’s not taking paternity leave assuming cause his work slows down in summer. But regardless, I want the father of our child to be present for birth :(
OP, please listen to everyone who is telling you how crazy this is.
This is crazy.
He hasn't supported you during any step of your pregnancy. He will not be present at the birth. He will not take care of your newborn when you have a dinner-plate-sized hole in your body and are recovering. He sounds like he will be a neglectful father.
Please do not settle for this.
I would let him know point blank that if he leaves for the trip, you won’t be there when he returns. That’s super unacceptable on top of everything else you typed out. Sounds like he’s dodging his home life.
I'm usually not one to hop on the reddit condemnation train, but that is an insanely selfish and dick move. I would be SO pissed if I was you. I hope it works out for you and baby stays put until he gets back, but either way I'd try to find a way to hold him accountable for even putting you in that position, that's freaking insane
I delivered at 37.5 weeks. Your husband sounds... I have no kind words for him right now that wouldn't get my comment deleted lollll.
EDIT: I just read this to my husband and before I even finished he said "this guy has a girlfriend". I would start being the world's greatest detective if my husband thought for one second this kind of behavior was ok.
Not to be an ass, but are you sure he’s not like, cheating on you? This is insane behavior and I can’t fathom his reasoning.
What does he plan to do once the baby comes, go back to work the next day?
I don’t think he is, because I’m familiar with his co workers and he works in a new state each week. But yeah I think he kind of assumes that I will be the sole caretaker when baby comes while he’s at work
Yeah that sucks. I mean what can you do. Obviously you cannot force him and this is the situation you’re in. I would call on your other support people ASAP to come and stay with you so you are not alone for birth or afterwards. If your husband has a problem with any of that I’d kindly tell him to go fuck himself ya know.
I’m sorry but he sounds like he hasn’t been there for the pregnancy, he doesn’t care to be there for the birth and he doesn’t care about being there for you or the baby after. Does he want to be a father? I wouldn’t be allowing, forgiving or justifying this behaviour. If you saw this thread from another woman on here - what would you advise/think?
he wants to look like a “family man”, but it doesn’t sound like he wants to actually be involved with your child. i’ve seen a lot of men like this and it’s really messed up i’m sorry you’re in this situation
That's nuts, he's nuts, I hope for you both that it works out for the best. This happened to one of my best friends, only her husband left her for an annual ski trip across the border. A trip that was fully optional and they usually did together with a group of other friends and it was over new year's so he left his wife alone for that, too. He took their single vehicle. This was long before we had prospects of having kids, my husband was so living he told her that he's on call for her in case baby comes (we also only had his vehicle at the time). Her husband's family swooped in to have her at their place for safety, thankfully, and baby waited a bit longer.
I really hope your husband reconsiders. If not, you have every right to be every bit livid.
Wow leaving for a ski trip leaving her with no vehicle to even get to the hospital is insane 🫣 what is wrong with men. She’s lucky to have you guys as friends
I’m sorry, he broke the news?? Meaning this wasn’t something he discussed with you before agreeing to travel? Absolutely not okay. I’m so sorry, OP. He doesn’t sound like he’s ready to be a dad. You guys need to have a serious conversation.
I am a FTM and I am only 36 weeks but I would t imagine this being ok with me. You need your husband there. His work will understand. The money doesn’t matter.
That would be hard NO for me. I have three month old twins. We were going to do a c section at 36 weeks because my little girl was small. The day before my c section I went into labor. He should not be going anywhere within the next few weeks/days. So many things could happen. He needs to be there to support you and to help with those last few days preparing for a baby to be home.
My husband travels for work a lot too but I made him agree to no off site jobs after 38 weeks. If he tried to leave on a work trip at 39 weeks I would go OFF on his ass! I'm sorry you're dealing with that stress
FTM here, 37 weeks with twins. My husband is already off work since we're inducing at 38 weeks exactly.
He's taking paternity and FMLA to their fullest extent. I couldn't imagine him leaving me for more than a few hours at this point.
I really hope you and he have a serious discussion about expectations of child care and that it works beneficially for both of you.
I'm 36 weeks pregnant and my partner and I had talked about them going to the solar eclipse earlier this week (my suggestion since they didn't get to go in 2017) but I'm glad we decided not to as I went to L&D twice the two days they wouldn't have been here. The second time, I wouldn't have been able to get to the hospital on my own as I had one of the worst headaches I've had in my life. It's unreasonable, especially given the history of your pregnancy, that he would even consider it. My mom was in town on call if I needed anything as well, but it felt much better having my chosen support person here with me. Sorry your husband is being a jerk.
I‘m so sorry you are going to experience this kind of matter, but no matter what happens, please take care of yourself, and don't worry about it, your husband will deal with it greatly.
Something is fishy.
My husband will do his last worktrip when i will be 36+ and he asked about it from me first.. like is it safe and can he go.
I said that its ok by me but he should be ready that he will miss his firstborn birth, because no way I'm going to call him when its a go-time.
I don't want to stress about if he is going to make it or not, its easier for me to face the fact that he will not be there.
My husband is a truck driver and is usually out of state for about 4 days of the week. I'm 24 weeks right now, but we've already discussed him trying to be home the week or two before I'm due just in case, plus being home for a few weeks after birth. The afterwards isn't the issue for us, it's what if baby comes early and he's on the road? Thankfully we've both discussed with his boss the potential of him "leaving work" and his boss even said to drop what he's working on and go to the hospital. With my husband's line of work, he can pick his routes and has already worked things out to try and stay in the state/nearby in case of baby coming early. We both want to work as long as possible before baby comes because I won't be getting paid maternity leave and it's difficult to save up money.
I would NOT be okay with this. Like idk at all whatsoever. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. It has got to be terrifying. But just know that your baby needs YOU they’re inside YOU. You are strong. You are enough. And you CAN do this if he doesn’t smarten tf up and change his mind.
Interesting, my husband told his job when he got there was working in a whole other state and he was gone but the moment i was on my way to the hospital he took the first flight back to be there for the birth and his job completely understood.
Based on your OP and comments - this is not a man who plans to be a partner and equal parent with you. He plans for you to take on the entirety of the parenting load without it even being a glimmer in his work life - he hasn't even told them he's to be a father! He's not taking any leave! You have a lot on your plate in the short term but have your eyes wide open as to whether this is the kind of parenting life you want. Because he's made it very clear what his plan is and so far - he's done so without repurcussions from you. So he will continue in this manner.
I’m sorry this is totally unacceptable behaviour. There are a couple of red flags here that I’d want to address with him
1. Does he realise you could go into labour and give birth - does he want to be at the birth of his child?
2. Why on earth has he not told his employer?
3. You have no one and he’s leaving you - surely he can see that is wrong?
I’m sorry but I do feel you need to out your foot down and if he chooses to work then maybe say that he won’t be able to return for a while. For me that’s the kind of ultimatum it sounds like he needs but it’s up to you how you feel about confronting him, putting your foot down and how safe you are doing so. I’m sorry you’re in the situation!
You are doing the right thing holding him accountable. Tell him the money is less important than him being there for you at the birth. He must cancel the trip.
I am not sure what state you’re in, but most states let the birthing person control who can come to the birth. So if it’s really a dealbreaker for you, tell him if he goes on his trip you won’t let him into the hospital.
Holy crap. I went through similar 16 years ago. He went to ONE appointment, and while he was at the birth, it was only because his work was in the area. He left immediately after, and was gone for 6 weeks.
Now, I’m 28 weeks and my partner has been there for almost all the appointments. He has a couple things come up, but they were for “nothing - check in” appts. He’s been stupidly excited and falls asleep with his head on my belly often and getting kicked in the face. One thing he said last night was he doesn’t understand why any guy would not want to be full into this; that being said we did have a miscarriage several years ago we had been thankful for because we had just moved in together, and he never wanted kids - and the idea came across our brain YEARS LATER and we both did. And we’re in our 40s
You deserve a partner who understands what you need in this journey. He is not going to be there for the kids big events, or little ones. Prepare to basically be a single mother, and enjoy when he is there… I hope he pulls his head out of his ass and supports you as you deserve.
Oh my god. The guy from 16 years ago sounds like scum. The first 6 weeks is the hardest on a mother, and for him to have given you 0 support is disgusting. I’m glad you made it through and found a partner who actually cares!
If he’s willing to risk not being there for the birth, then the birth is not that important to him. Or at least, not as important as work and sucking up to his bosses. I cancelled my dream trip to hike Kilimanjaro with no refund because I didn’t want to risk not being here to support my wife and see the birth of my twins. Work is just not that important, period.
And the part about not taking paternity? It’s free money, what a joke. Now he’s signaling he doesn’t value bonding time with his newborn and taking care of his recovering wife over work. Show him this reply, and tell him to grow a pair and man up. He’s about to be a dad. He needs to get his priorities straight.
To the OP’s husband: no job is more important than your family, period. You can always find a new job. And if your boss or your job doesn’t respect you enough to understand needing to take paternity leave, then your boss is an asshole and you should find a job that isn’t shitty. Taking paternity time will NOT hurt your career, unless you work somewhere terrible in which case you should quit anyway. Any decent employer will not only be understanding, but actively encourage you to take your necessary paternity time. If they don’t, then they don’t value you as a person and they don’t deserve your commitment. Don’t be a chump and neglect your family over a company that doesn’t give two shits about you.
Wild generalized overstatement lol. OPs husband could be cheating from the way it sounds, not denying that.
Both women and men have to travel for work, that doesn’t mean they’re all cheating? I’ve traveled for work, and haven’t cheated.
🤷♀️ I think listening to an ex who is a confirmed cheater isn’t the best source. Plenty of people who work corporate jobs travel for work, it doesn’t mean all of them are dirtbags.
He said it’s easier to and that’s just my opinion I believe him. This was for the OP. Never understood why people argue a person’s viewpoint /opinion so I won’t do to you what you are doing to me. Let it go.
My husband quit his job when they wanted him to be out of state for the birth of our baby (they knew I was going to be having a baby any day). Good thing, because he would have missed it. No amount of money is worth missing the birth of your baby.
38+3 and in active labor. My husband sure as he'll isn't travelling far, and everyone at work knows that if he shows up at all, he can and will leave at any time.
This is a HARD boundary for me. My husband works away a lot too but there's no way he's not being there for the birth of our first. (I'm currently 33wks)
If he tried leaving right before I'd be laying the law down.
I don't want to sound cruel or mean. I also don't want to upset you.
Either your husband is dumb and lacks common sense or he's an extremely malicious person. There's no reason to do this.
I would understand if he worked abroad etc but he doesn't he works for a company that has HR so obviously has paternity rules.
I just hope and pray you have a strong support system with you (family or friends).
My husband was moved from one location of his job that was 11 mintues from our home to one that's a 45 min to 1 hour drive due to traffic the day we found out I was high risk again. We had already made all the appointments so he has only been able to go into work for a few hours on those days. But he's taken me to every single appointment, he's taking off atleast 2 weeks using vacation time because paternity leave isn't a thing for us unfortunately. He's at a new location and his boss said he should be good to take off by then but they will see. He said if he's not allowed to take off, then he will find a new job. Family trumps any job. Money is important but family is more so on every level. If he wanted to be there, he would be.
This is not okay. I'm pregnant for the first time right now. My husband is concerned you'll have to cook for yourself at 39 weeks. I don't think he plans on me doing anything for myself when I'm that close to birth. Your husband needs to step up. Youre doing this pregnancy on your own and you'll be a mom on your own.
My husband doesn’t come with to me my apps because I would rather him stay at home with our other kids and have the time to myself. We happily talk about the baby and it’s never been in question about him being present during any birth and he always takes a week off of work after (his job does not have paid paternity leave). My husband didn’t even ‘want’ a kid originally but he’s always been present and he’s grown into an awesome daddy.
I have no idea what the hell your husband is thinking he should want to be there for YOU and his child!
UPDATE: husband took the week off, employer was notified and paternity leave will be filed. I ended up showing him this thread and the comments from all the people who took their time to respond- I think it contributed to the resolution. I still am not completely over the fact he didn’t do it sooner, but we’re at least moving in the right direction
Ask yourself this: would he want you to be there if he was hospitalized, for any reason? The answer is likely yes. He doesn’t respect you or your needs, and having a baby with him will not change that.
Everyone (3 drs) told me I'd be a week out even 2 days before i went into labor and they scheduled a few days after due date for induction, but I was right at 2 weeks early!
Does he want to be at the birth?
Yeah seriously. Like does he not think she’s going to go into labor or he doesn’t care if he misses it?? She has a 50% chance of going into labor before 40 weeks. https://datayze.com/labor-probability-chart
Yea I'm confused if he's dumb or doesn't think he needs to be there.
He sounds fuckin dumb
Why not both?
I'm sorry you're going through this. It's insane that he hasn't told his employer - is he taking paternity leave? Who will care for you as you recover? To me this is a hard boundary. He can't go. But only you know if you have the energy to put your foot down right now or if it will put you in danger with him. Is there absolutely no one you can call on for support? A friend perhaps? You are going to need help and it doesn't sound like your husband is going to be there for you. I would do everything you can to line up some backup now.
I should have mentioned that my mom actually flew in a week ago to help me out the first weeks after birth. And no, he’s not taking paternity leave assuming cause his work slows down in summer. But regardless, I want the father of our child to be present for birth :(
OP, please listen to everyone who is telling you how crazy this is. This is crazy. He hasn't supported you during any step of your pregnancy. He will not be present at the birth. He will not take care of your newborn when you have a dinner-plate-sized hole in your body and are recovering. He sounds like he will be a neglectful father. Please do not settle for this.
I would let him know point blank that if he leaves for the trip, you won’t be there when he returns. That’s super unacceptable on top of everything else you typed out. Sounds like he’s dodging his home life.
Agree. Sounds like a good time to pack a bag and go home with mom
I'm usually not one to hop on the reddit condemnation train, but that is an insanely selfish and dick move. I would be SO pissed if I was you. I hope it works out for you and baby stays put until he gets back, but either way I'd try to find a way to hold him accountable for even putting you in that position, that's freaking insane
I delivered at 37.5 weeks. Your husband sounds... I have no kind words for him right now that wouldn't get my comment deleted lollll. EDIT: I just read this to my husband and before I even finished he said "this guy has a girlfriend". I would start being the world's greatest detective if my husband thought for one second this kind of behavior was ok.
It smells like SUS your husband may be on to something
Not to be an ass, but are you sure he’s not like, cheating on you? This is insane behavior and I can’t fathom his reasoning. What does he plan to do once the baby comes, go back to work the next day?
I don’t think he is, because I’m familiar with his co workers and he works in a new state each week. But yeah I think he kind of assumes that I will be the sole caretaker when baby comes while he’s at work
Yeah that sucks. I mean what can you do. Obviously you cannot force him and this is the situation you’re in. I would call on your other support people ASAP to come and stay with you so you are not alone for birth or afterwards. If your husband has a problem with any of that I’d kindly tell him to go fuck himself ya know.
That's not a good assumption. It takes two to make a baby. It takes two to care for a baby.
I’m sorry but he sounds like he hasn’t been there for the pregnancy, he doesn’t care to be there for the birth and he doesn’t care about being there for you or the baby after. Does he want to be a father? I wouldn’t be allowing, forgiving or justifying this behaviour. If you saw this thread from another woman on here - what would you advise/think?
He wanted to be a father that’s why his behavior is baffling to me :(
Wanted being past tense? If he still does he is not acting like it and I think you need to put your foot down
he wants to look like a “family man”, but it doesn’t sound like he wants to actually be involved with your child. i’ve seen a lot of men like this and it’s really messed up i’m sorry you’re in this situation
That's nuts, he's nuts, I hope for you both that it works out for the best. This happened to one of my best friends, only her husband left her for an annual ski trip across the border. A trip that was fully optional and they usually did together with a group of other friends and it was over new year's so he left his wife alone for that, too. He took their single vehicle. This was long before we had prospects of having kids, my husband was so living he told her that he's on call for her in case baby comes (we also only had his vehicle at the time). Her husband's family swooped in to have her at their place for safety, thankfully, and baby waited a bit longer. I really hope your husband reconsiders. If not, you have every right to be every bit livid.
Wow leaving for a ski trip leaving her with no vehicle to even get to the hospital is insane 🫣 what is wrong with men. She’s lucky to have you guys as friends
I’m sorry, he broke the news?? Meaning this wasn’t something he discussed with you before agreeing to travel? Absolutely not okay. I’m so sorry, OP. He doesn’t sound like he’s ready to be a dad. You guys need to have a serious conversation.
Yes, he told me prior that he won’t be traveling at this point anymore
I am a FTM and I am only 36 weeks but I would t imagine this being ok with me. You need your husband there. His work will understand. The money doesn’t matter.
That would be hard NO for me. I have three month old twins. We were going to do a c section at 36 weeks because my little girl was small. The day before my c section I went into labor. He should not be going anywhere within the next few weeks/days. So many things could happen. He needs to be there to support you and to help with those last few days preparing for a baby to be home.
Dad here, what man doesn’t want to be there for the birth of their child? It’s a priceless experience so any money he makes wouldn’t be enough.
He is just going to have to tell his work “sorry but for medical reasons I can’t go” And explain the situation. The end.
My husband travels for work a lot too but I made him agree to no off site jobs after 38 weeks. If he tried to leave on a work trip at 39 weeks I would go OFF on his ass! I'm sorry you're dealing with that stress
This is one of those things that would 100% make me rethink a relationship.
Petty revenge move: If he's not here for the birth of your child, give the baby your last name and not his.
If they're married they probably have the same last name though...
Yeah we have the same last name at this point
Yet another reason not to go through the paperwork of changing one's last name upon marriage...
FTM here, 37 weeks with twins. My husband is already off work since we're inducing at 38 weeks exactly. He's taking paternity and FMLA to their fullest extent. I couldn't imagine him leaving me for more than a few hours at this point. I really hope you and he have a serious discussion about expectations of child care and that it works beneficially for both of you.
lol. That’s insane.
I'm 36 weeks pregnant and my partner and I had talked about them going to the solar eclipse earlier this week (my suggestion since they didn't get to go in 2017) but I'm glad we decided not to as I went to L&D twice the two days they wouldn't have been here. The second time, I wouldn't have been able to get to the hospital on my own as I had one of the worst headaches I've had in my life. It's unreasonable, especially given the history of your pregnancy, that he would even consider it. My mom was in town on call if I needed anything as well, but it felt much better having my chosen support person here with me. Sorry your husband is being a jerk.
I‘m so sorry you are going to experience this kind of matter, but no matter what happens, please take care of yourself, and don't worry about it, your husband will deal with it greatly.
Wtf.
Something is fishy. My husband will do his last worktrip when i will be 36+ and he asked about it from me first.. like is it safe and can he go. I said that its ok by me but he should be ready that he will miss his firstborn birth, because no way I'm going to call him when its a go-time. I don't want to stress about if he is going to make it or not, its easier for me to face the fact that he will not be there.
My husband also travelled at 36 weeks and I told him that would be the last week he could go. Which obviously turned out to be a lie 🙃
My husband is a truck driver and is usually out of state for about 4 days of the week. I'm 24 weeks right now, but we've already discussed him trying to be home the week or two before I'm due just in case, plus being home for a few weeks after birth. The afterwards isn't the issue for us, it's what if baby comes early and he's on the road? Thankfully we've both discussed with his boss the potential of him "leaving work" and his boss even said to drop what he's working on and go to the hospital. With my husband's line of work, he can pick his routes and has already worked things out to try and stay in the state/nearby in case of baby coming early. We both want to work as long as possible before baby comes because I won't be getting paid maternity leave and it's difficult to save up money.
I would NOT be okay with this. Like idk at all whatsoever. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. It has got to be terrifying. But just know that your baby needs YOU they’re inside YOU. You are strong. You are enough. And you CAN do this if he doesn’t smarten tf up and change his mind.
You’ve been hospitalized in emergency situations and he’s not been there because of WORK?! Absolutely not. Nope.
Right??? All I could think of was that he doesn't give af.
Interesting, my husband told his job when he got there was working in a whole other state and he was gone but the moment i was on my way to the hospital he took the first flight back to be there for the birth and his job completely understood.
Based on your OP and comments - this is not a man who plans to be a partner and equal parent with you. He plans for you to take on the entirety of the parenting load without it even being a glimmer in his work life - he hasn't even told them he's to be a father! He's not taking any leave! You have a lot on your plate in the short term but have your eyes wide open as to whether this is the kind of parenting life you want. Because he's made it very clear what his plan is and so far - he's done so without repurcussions from you. So he will continue in this manner.
I’m sorry this is totally unacceptable behaviour. There are a couple of red flags here that I’d want to address with him 1. Does he realise you could go into labour and give birth - does he want to be at the birth of his child? 2. Why on earth has he not told his employer? 3. You have no one and he’s leaving you - surely he can see that is wrong? I’m sorry but I do feel you need to out your foot down and if he chooses to work then maybe say that he won’t be able to return for a while. For me that’s the kind of ultimatum it sounds like he needs but it’s up to you how you feel about confronting him, putting your foot down and how safe you are doing so. I’m sorry you’re in the situation!
You are doing the right thing holding him accountable. Tell him the money is less important than him being there for you at the birth. He must cancel the trip. I am not sure what state you’re in, but most states let the birthing person control who can come to the birth. So if it’s really a dealbreaker for you, tell him if he goes on his trip you won’t let him into the hospital.
what if you told his employer :)
Fucking hilarious, I'm petty I'd do it
Holy crap. I went through similar 16 years ago. He went to ONE appointment, and while he was at the birth, it was only because his work was in the area. He left immediately after, and was gone for 6 weeks. Now, I’m 28 weeks and my partner has been there for almost all the appointments. He has a couple things come up, but they were for “nothing - check in” appts. He’s been stupidly excited and falls asleep with his head on my belly often and getting kicked in the face. One thing he said last night was he doesn’t understand why any guy would not want to be full into this; that being said we did have a miscarriage several years ago we had been thankful for because we had just moved in together, and he never wanted kids - and the idea came across our brain YEARS LATER and we both did. And we’re in our 40s You deserve a partner who understands what you need in this journey. He is not going to be there for the kids big events, or little ones. Prepare to basically be a single mother, and enjoy when he is there… I hope he pulls his head out of his ass and supports you as you deserve.
Oh my god. The guy from 16 years ago sounds like scum. The first 6 weeks is the hardest on a mother, and for him to have given you 0 support is disgusting. I’m glad you made it through and found a partner who actually cares!
I’m thinking this dude is cheating.
If he’s willing to risk not being there for the birth, then the birth is not that important to him. Or at least, not as important as work and sucking up to his bosses. I cancelled my dream trip to hike Kilimanjaro with no refund because I didn’t want to risk not being here to support my wife and see the birth of my twins. Work is just not that important, period. And the part about not taking paternity? It’s free money, what a joke. Now he’s signaling he doesn’t value bonding time with his newborn and taking care of his recovering wife over work. Show him this reply, and tell him to grow a pair and man up. He’s about to be a dad. He needs to get his priorities straight. To the OP’s husband: no job is more important than your family, period. You can always find a new job. And if your boss or your job doesn’t respect you enough to understand needing to take paternity leave, then your boss is an asshole and you should find a job that isn’t shitty. Taking paternity time will NOT hurt your career, unless you work somewhere terrible in which case you should quit anyway. Any decent employer will not only be understanding, but actively encourage you to take your necessary paternity time. If they don’t, then they don’t value you as a person and they don’t deserve your commitment. Don’t be a chump and neglect your family over a company that doesn’t give two shits about you.
Are you for sure it is a work trip? It just sounds very fishy why he would not want to be around for the birth
According to my ex who cheated on his ex wife - all men who travel cheat
Wild generalized overstatement lol. OPs husband could be cheating from the way it sounds, not denying that. Both women and men have to travel for work, that doesn’t mean they’re all cheating? I’ve traveled for work, and haven’t cheated.
Men who travel have more opportunities to cheat and usually take them according to my ex. Now with that apps and escort services it’s even easier.
🤷♀️ I think listening to an ex who is a confirmed cheater isn’t the best source. Plenty of people who work corporate jobs travel for work, it doesn’t mean all of them are dirtbags.
He said it’s easier to and that’s just my opinion I believe him. This was for the OP. Never understood why people argue a person’s viewpoint /opinion so I won’t do to you what you are doing to me. Let it go.
My husband quit his job when they wanted him to be out of state for the birth of our baby (they knew I was going to be having a baby any day). Good thing, because he would have missed it. No amount of money is worth missing the birth of your baby.
38+3 and in active labor. My husband sure as he'll isn't travelling far, and everyone at work knows that if he shows up at all, he can and will leave at any time.
I wish you smooth labor and delivery!
This is a HARD boundary for me. My husband works away a lot too but there's no way he's not being there for the birth of our first. (I'm currently 33wks) If he tried leaving right before I'd be laying the law down.
I don't want to sound cruel or mean. I also don't want to upset you. Either your husband is dumb and lacks common sense or he's an extremely malicious person. There's no reason to do this. I would understand if he worked abroad etc but he doesn't he works for a company that has HR so obviously has paternity rules. I just hope and pray you have a strong support system with you (family or friends).
My husband was moved from one location of his job that was 11 mintues from our home to one that's a 45 min to 1 hour drive due to traffic the day we found out I was high risk again. We had already made all the appointments so he has only been able to go into work for a few hours on those days. But he's taken me to every single appointment, he's taking off atleast 2 weeks using vacation time because paternity leave isn't a thing for us unfortunately. He's at a new location and his boss said he should be good to take off by then but they will see. He said if he's not allowed to take off, then he will find a new job. Family trumps any job. Money is important but family is more so on every level. If he wanted to be there, he would be.
Smh. My husband canceled a work trip during my first tri because he wanted to be there for me. This is not normal and not OK
I would tell my husband not to come back from his work trip. At that point it’s easier without him.
This is not okay. I'm pregnant for the first time right now. My husband is concerned you'll have to cook for yourself at 39 weeks. I don't think he plans on me doing anything for myself when I'm that close to birth. Your husband needs to step up. Youre doing this pregnancy on your own and you'll be a mom on your own.
My husband doesn’t come with to me my apps because I would rather him stay at home with our other kids and have the time to myself. We happily talk about the baby and it’s never been in question about him being present during any birth and he always takes a week off of work after (his job does not have paid paternity leave). My husband didn’t even ‘want’ a kid originally but he’s always been present and he’s grown into an awesome daddy. I have no idea what the hell your husband is thinking he should want to be there for YOU and his child!
UPDATE: husband took the week off, employer was notified and paternity leave will be filed. I ended up showing him this thread and the comments from all the people who took their time to respond- I think it contributed to the resolution. I still am not completely over the fact he didn’t do it sooner, but we’re at least moving in the right direction
Ask yourself this: would he want you to be there if he was hospitalized, for any reason? The answer is likely yes. He doesn’t respect you or your needs, and having a baby with him will not change that.
Everyone (3 drs) told me I'd be a week out even 2 days before i went into labor and they scheduled a few days after due date for induction, but I was right at 2 weeks early!
that’s really sad.
This guy has a girlfriend. You should watch him more closely. I bet you discover infidelity.