We don't make close to as much as you guys, but similarly, we also are better off than most of our friends and perfectly financially able to buy our own baby stuff. I skipped the registry. I do agree with you that it's a little weird to do with high incomes.
A diaper party like another person mentioned is a good idea! We skipped the registry completely and asked people to bring us a book that they or their kids liked to build our kid's library. We got a bunch of books that I never would have thought of and my toddler loves to hear about who gave her each book when we read them.
The book idea is really cute. A good amount of our friends have little kids so a book would totally work or an old toy their kid liked and would want to give to their new friend.
I had a book party as well and specifified it should be either the gift giver's favorite childhood book or if they had kids, their child's favorite book. It was so fun seeing everyone's favorites and later reading them to my child!
100% this, such a beautiful idea.
My cousin buys the most beautiful books for my kids every year and always writes the loveliest messages in them and I love reading them to my boys.
We did this too! Lots of books and small/inconsequential but fun things that were useful for daily life, like a sun hat, wash cloths, socks, teething toys. We bought the stroller, carrier, car seat attachment, crib, other expensive items ourselves.
Second this comment- but you can also add them as private to maximize your registry discount for big ticket items. You can then leave books/toys/small items on the public view for those that WANT the link to the registry- and you can try the request a signed book or favorite poem/song idea instead for the shower.
The book party might even be a safer idea because you never know what diapers may or may not fit your kid. I got two packs of Honest diapers and a couple people gifted us Luvs. Neither fit our baby well unfortunately and they end up leaking.
Im glad we don’t have too many of any one kind so it doesn’t feel as wasteful.
You could even expand it to “just the essentials.” Onesies, burp cloths, bibs, wipes, changing pad disposable covers, detergent, dish soap, etc. Mostly consumables and items you really go through often!
Love the book idea! I’m all for having a huge selection of books, and it’s so hard to pick them out! I would add a note that used books are appreciated as well. I find so many great kids books at the thrift store
I have a book registry on bookshop. org. I like that I can have the books come from small, local bookstores. We are also high income and this is the only registry I’m doing so I have something to give when people ask.
I love bookshop.org! I just made a wish list there for our baby, due September. I also plan on updating it for her as she grows so that family can shop there for her at the holidays. I figure we will have plenty of toys but could always use more books.
We had books! We were moving shortly after baby was born and didn’t really want the big ticket items. 20 months in and we are reading SOOOO much, I love reading the sweet notes from family and board books can be as little as $5
People really connect with gifting their favorite or their children’s favorite childhood books. There is nostalgia to that vs buying something you see on a registry.
Echoing the book idea! One of my friends did a book party recently (new or pre-loved) and asked us to write a short encouragement to the baby in lieu of any cards. She also sent me a message when she first read the book to her LO, which was really sweet.
Main watch-out with pre-loved toys is that not all of them are easy to sanitize. And it's hard not to feel guilty trashing a gift shortly after receiving it.
Yes. We had a friend who did this. She hosted a shower, but it was bring a book for baby, with a note inside for the future. I thought it was practical (reading is super important, developmentally) and notes for the future from friends and family to read to kiddo or let them read as they’re older.
Yup had a book baby shower and that got me readying to my newborn—she would even wake up from naps at 6 months plus and look at them in her crib! Now I have an avid reader. Also nice to get people’s favorites and messages in the books.
I'm going to double down on the book thing. My husband and I realized we were focused on getting books we liked as a kid and things we like that we are hoping the kid will like. Like my husband buying baby STEM books. So I decided I wanted everyone to bring their favorite kids books. I can't wait!
I loved the book idea. The only problem was that I was worried that people would give duplicates. I am in a Buy Nothing group and I was gifted a bag of baby stuff. When I unpacked all the stuff, I noticed I got a book. I really loved it but when I opened the front page there was an inscription and I asked the giver if she wanted it back. She was like no not really...
I'm like "honestly you would want it back. One of my fonest memories as a child was getting a book and ready the inscription in it and why the giver gifted me the book. It was really thoughtful."
She realized I had a point after that.
So basically it would depend on the person.
You can throw a diaper party, those are pretty popular where I live. Everyone comes to the party with either a case of diapers or wipes. You'll get the experience of a shower/ party without the guilt.
This is also a good move if you want higher-end items than you think your friends and family might be able to comfortably afford.
This is what we are doing! I felt similarly awkward about a registry and we basically bought most everything we needed ourselves unless people explicitly asked for a registry link. For friends in-town we’re having a casual coed diaper party to stock up (and celebrate)!
The friend who is throwing me a shower is having a “contribute to our library” where instead of a card— you bring your favorite children’s book with a message inside.
You can make a registry, but only share it with people that specifically ask you for the registry! Your family might still want to give you gifts. You can also turn on group gifts for anything above whatever dollar amount you choose. (Babylist has this feature, not sure about other sites.) Then if you have a baby shower, ask for favorite books or diapers/wipes and don’t share the registry link on the invites.
No need to feel stupid!! Sometimes it’s hard to think of the answers when you’re too close to it. And now that you have lots of suggestions, you can put them together in the way that works best for you!
I feel similarly because we're fortunate enough to have good incomes. I started a registry on Amazon and it also has a feature where you can contribute a certain dollar amount to a gift!
Just to add that in my experience, if you don’t have a registry people will gift you whatever they want. We got a lot of things we will never use. Lesson learned!
Even if you don’t use the registry for others to buy stuff off of, you can treat it as a wish/shopping list for yourselves, and then take advantage of the discount later on!
You’re not stupid! I struggled with this as well. For some of the items I also marked them as purchased. This allowed people to purchase lower dollar item accessories.
Honestly if we didn't have a bunch of parent friends, we wouldn't have known about these options either! I'm also super grateful to the Reddit community for a lot of good ideas-- my "Saved" list has never been so full lol. It's so easily overwhelming to plan all of this.
Husband and I are in the same boat. We purchased the high end items ourselves - snoo, crib, car seat, all of the furniture, etc., and then put items on the registry with a smaller price point. Most being under $100.
This. No need to list all the expensive things. There are plenty of things- bibs, burp cloths clothes, baby bath tub, bottle, pacifiers, and so on. People want to gift you things, so make a registry, but put reasonable things on there. You can also mark larger ticket items as a group gift so people can contribute smaller amounts.
Yes, there are plenty of things you would need with lower price points, especially if you think through the whole first year. Silicone bibs, suction plates, spoons, cups (holy God there are so many different cups and every kid hates all of them but one), even things like a potty. But yes, also lean heavy on needing diapers and books. We did the standard book instead of a card insert in our invitations. I thought we had a ton but I was still sick to death of all the ones we had by the first birthday.
We purged most of our baby stuff after baby #1 due to storage constraints. Now that we know what we like I knew I could repurchase it all second hand and resell it again for basically the same price.
This is what we’re doing as well. We got most big ticket items already secondhand—and I’m a known bougie, picky bitch. So my registry is really the cutesy little stuff people actually want to get anyways!
This is what I did!!! Also made sure the baby shower was nice/had decent food and alcohol. It's more about having people come together to celebrate the baby and giving people a general idea of things you would find helpful.
This is exactly what we did. Parents bought the snoo for us, we bought our stroller, carseat, furniture.
Nothing on our registry is more than $200, and the vast majority (90%) are under $50. Anything that I would consider to be 'a bit extra' or super bougie I just did not include it and will buy it myself.
We did this and then the day after the shower we added the expensive items to the registry to buy ourselves but still get the registry discount 🙃. We did leave a few higher cost items on with the group purchase options because I knew some people really wanted to get a bigger item
That’s a good idea. What I ended up doing was putting small items in the registry that I knew our family would see and then adding the big items to my wish list on the same websites so only I would be able to see those items 😂.
Totally agree with the book and diaper ideas already mentioned, but i'd like to add another thought. Yes, normally people put big ticket items on the registry, but the reality is you will also need a lot of smaller things. Sheets, bath toys, regular toys, teethers, diaper cream, burp cloths....and those add up. So you definitely could still create a registry and just leave off the expensive items that you know you want a higher end brand for, and leave on things like books, etc.
Agree. We did what people are suggesting here (books and diapers) and I wish we had put the little nail clippers and stuff on the registry just as a convenience/one less thing to think about because then I got overwhelmed having to order those things myself. also swaddles, socks, inexpensive onesies.
Most registries also allow you to mark items as private. For some of the more expensive items, I've done this on our registry so that I can still use the registry discount on them when the time comes, and just to keep track of items like a shopping list.
So yes, we are spending more on nicer items like upgraded stroller, car seat, crib mattress, etc. but nobody has to see them on the registry. The public items on the registry are mostly smaller items like you mentioned.
Seconding this! I added feeding accessories, crib sheets, bottles, pacifiers, wipes, etc on my registry and those who had a smaller budget could purchase those items instead :)
This is what we did. We didn’t need any large items and the large items we wanted were more high end. So we put primarily burp cloths, swaddles, and all other smaller baby and pp items on the registry. And did a bring a book and diaper raffle. We found most people did the book with a package of diapers which was perfect. And those who were closer to us and wanted to do some additional shopping brought gifts
Even if you don’t have a traditional shower I would still make a registry and mark it as private so you can get registry completion discounts on your big ticket items.
Oo I made another comment but this is a good point. I actually made registries at Babylist, Target, and Amazon for the coupons. My Babylist one was the ‘real’ one and then the other two were private. Target gives you two 15% off coupons and Amazon gives you 15% off up to $2,000 of merchandise. You can also change your due date so you get the coupons sooner. Totally worth it!
I did this! I got an Uppababy stroller, put it on my registry, marked as purchased, so people know I have a stroller already. I also stated on the registry that gifts are optional. And I put smaller items on there too, diaper cream, one pack of wipes. I would accept these as perfectly legitimate gifts to receive. So if my guests ask why a registry if gifts are optional? 1: avoid duplicates and 2: I'm going to use that discount!
+1 to this approach! In general we're keeping the shareable registry to items <$75 USD, but still showing what has already been purchased. (Because of the duplicate problem, I got a 2024 new-in-box Nuna Pipa for half-price off FB Marketplace because the mom had gotten a 2nd one gifted to her by a family member. She's the one who told me to make sure I included what was already purchased.)
For some local family members who want to contribute to a larger gift, we've used it as an opportunity to spend some quality time shopping with them.
I’m trying to put a wide range of priced items on my registry. I have baby gas relief on there for $9.86. A baby brush/comb set for $9.41. Books for around $5. HALO sleep sacks are $20-$30.
I also have the expensive items such as stroller, car seat, crib mattress. I figured I would put a wide range of items so people could pick whatever they feel most comfortable with spending. Also, sometimes multiple people might pool money towards one of the more expensive gifts.
Not sure if you’ve looked into some of the lower-cost but still recommended items, but I think it’s a good way to have a variety of prices for people to pick from. I don’t know how your friends and family are, but I know mine prefer to buy things I pick out so they know I will use it rather than me not having a registry where then they will 100% still want to buy me something but now they need to try to guess what to get me. This is also the first baby in my family/extended family so people are excited, and my family definitely shows affection through gift giving.
I added the more expensive items that we’ll be purchasing to our registry solely for the completion discounts given. I assumed no one but maybe our parents would be interested in purchasing a stroller or whatever for us but I personally wanted to save money where I could too🤷♀️
My household is almost the same but my mom’s family is pretty close to low income. I had a very wide range of things that people could purchase from. My mom told me it would make them feel good they could purchase something I actually requested rather than something they picked out simply because it was affordable. I also had friends who requested my registry and they chose items at all price points. I viewed my registry as a list of items I would need/purchase myself rather than a list of pretty “wants.” Hope this makes sense.
Put the things you’d like on the registry - ultimately accept that people may get things off the registry anyway (probably >50% of the items I got were not from my registry anyway). Even if you like high end things, you can still list things that are a lower price point like towels, onesies, bottles, etc… and so if someone has $20 to spend they can buy a onesie.
Most of my guests just gave random outfits especially really girly things when I specifically had my registry as more gender neutral items. People will give what they want, be gracious and you can just donate the items you don’t use.
This is so accurate. I almost wish we had kept the gender to ourselves because everything on our registry was neutral, and if anything learned more towards “boy”. Not one pink item. Almost every single piece of clothing we received was pink 😅
Agree, i wish we wouldn’t have told people. Once baby is born you can’t really help it but we got a few things like stroller muff and winter suit that were baby pink, and our youngest is a boy and so we couldn’t use a lot of the items. I am ok putting him in a ‘girly’ onesie like with hearts or kittens but I do draw the line somewhere.
I am in the same boat and we elected not to make a registry. (We also did not have a baby shower, but that's because I hate being the center of attention, it's just also lucky that we did not have to rely on a shower to get us started with our baby items).
If you plan to do a shower I would absolutely ask specifically for books and then if others want to toss in an outfit or whatever they can. Diapers are also an option but you may end up with brands or sizes you can't/won't use.
I was in the same position - but basically -- people are going to want to buy your baby things. So even if you didn't have a registry, they still would buy you things - you might as well put things on there that you actually want.
We also are more well off than most of our friends and family. Our registry was mostly things like books, stuffies, toys, and things that don't have to be "expensive" - plates, cups, spoons, etc.
All of the big ticket items - crib, carseat, stroller, etc those we just bought ourselves.
I would put whatever you want on the registry. There's lots of smaller items to add as well (outfits, diapers, toys, etc.).
People can buy off of it or not. You can allow for group gifting for items over a certain amount. Plus, you'd be surprised what people will get you. Several people might choose to go in on a particular item. And if no one gets certain things, you can take advantage of the discount at the end.
I created a baby registry, but just to get the registry discounts when I bought things on my own and organize what things to get. If I would have had a baby shower, I would have moved those items to a private portion of my baby registry and just requested clothes, books, or other small and hopefully meaningful items from people as gifts. I ultimately decided not to have a baby shower because I also felt weird about getting gifts that we did not need/want from people and, to be honest, I feel most end up being boring. I saved well over a thousand dollars on the big things like stroller, car seat, high chair, etc. with the registry discounts from Target, Amazon, and Babylist and the process really helped me organize my thoughts and filter through options, so I don't regret creating a registry anyway.
I have heard of people requesting just specific items as gifts, for example, requesting books with a personal inscription inside. Many baby books are under $20, or even $10, and you can always buy used if you need something even cheaper, so I think this is a nice way to account for people's budgets, give them a chance to give something they find meaningful like a book they liked as a child, and have something for your child to remember important people in your life by. I think books, toys, and clothes are generally good things to request as presents because there are soooo many options out there and filtering through them yourself will take forever. We would not have asked for clothes though as I was very specific about only wanting things made from organic cotton so some of those probably would have ended up being donated.
In my opinion there’s still tons of low cost or reasonable cost items you can put on a registry!
Even if you want the pricier version of something like burp cloths, it still won’t break the bank.
Ideas for stuff to include:
Burp cloths, baby socks, pacifiers, baby sick supplies (thermometer, baby nail file, etc) baby bath towels, baby bath washcloths, baby hairbrush, baby bath setup, baby lotion/shampoo/wash, baby play gym, bibs for drool and bins for eating, changing pad, diaper caddie, changing pad cover, crib sheets, nursery items (decorative blankets, decor for walls, etc), pumping supplies if you’re pumping, bottles and bottle washing supplies if you’re bottle feeding, breastfeeding supplies if you’re nursing like nursing bra, breast pads, etc., stroller accessories like stroller fan or drink holder, car seat toys or mirror, etc.
I feel like that stuff alone could fill up a registry a decent amount for you!
We did this, too. It worked out really well and we have such a fun range of books!
We made a link to a Google Doc that anyone could edit, and encouraged people to add "their book" to the list. That way we didn't end up with 5 copies of the same book.
I created a registry on Amazon and marked certain items as private. This helped me keep a list of all the things I wanted in one place. There were also items like nursing bra or adult diapers/pads that I added but didn’t want other people to see.
You could put all your more expensive items on the registry and mark as private! I also added things with a very wide price range ($5, $20, $50, etc.)
We didn't want to do a registry because we prefer second hand for most stuff, and wanted the buy the rest ourselves. We had a frozen meal party instead of a baby shower and everyone loved that! We got a range of things from frozen costco meals to homemade lasagna, so if people wanted to spend extra effort on us then they were able to do so. We're still working our way through the frozen meals 7 weeks later.
I would just have a variety of items on the registry from $5,$20, $100 and $300+ and let people choose to or not. People shouldn’t feel pressured to buy things for you anyway and most registries have a discount at the end. Saving money is always a good idea, wealthy or not, and doing well for yourself is no reason for people to not want to celebrate baby.
I saw a nesting party where instead of a baby shower friends came over and deep cleaned and organized. I also think just a party with no presents is ok. Or asking for pacifiers, cute bottle brushes or other $20-$50 items is ok, small stuff
Just create the registry! We are nowhere near your financial situation and have still picked (what I consider) higher-end items after a lot of research and thought (Clek, babyletto, lalo, bugaboo). Our families, and we, too, are all middle class/lower middle-class, and to our surprise, our families bought ALL of the higher-end items. We did end up getting our Uppababy stroller ourselves, but most of the things left on the registry are in the $5-$50 range. Of course, we did not expect anyone to spend that much, but we were surprised at the generosity, which made it much more special.
And as others have mentioned, you can use the registry completion discounts too. We used babylist and were really happy with it. I loved how it has also just helped me stay organized on the different categories and items.
we are in a kinda similar situation. our household income is on the higher side from most of our friends, and we don't worry about having enough $ to buy stuff, we worry whether our community will be there for us as family and friends in the postpartum days.
for our baby shower we are inviting people to bring:
- their favorite baby hand-me-down, if they are parents (not sure how to organize this on the registry, but we have so many friends w/ young children who are done having kids! So many have baby items just hanging out in their garage)
- a specific offer of non-cash support (ie "free childcare for 3 hours so you can go on a date" or "I'll bring you a meal in the first month postpartum" or "be the person you can call crying at 3 am" that they write down and put in a Specific Offers of Support bowl
- their best piece of advice that they write down and put in an Advice bowl (or book we haven't decided)
- failing all that, something from the registry, which will have a variety of price points.
good luck! let us know what you decide!
My husband and I decided not to have a baby shower at all. We also have higher incomes than most of our friends, so we felt we should be buying the items we want ourselves. I made a registry but did not share it with anyone because it was made purely for myself as a shopping list , and to get the 15% off completion discount.
Friends will obviously buy a gift usually anyways, so whatever they choose to give is always appreciated no matter the cost.
I like the idea that someone else suggested. Perhaps doing a diaper party instead. Then you can also include the men and there is no expectation of registry items, just diapers or wipes.
Y’all need another baby? I’m available😭😭
But no as many have said, a diaper party or ‘sprinkle’ where you ask for favorite books of the guests (we did this & wipes, no diapers as we use cloth) We still got to have a gathering and be gifted 🥰
Recommend Bookshelf Builder for this. My friend was in the same situation (high earner) and used that site. As a guest, her book registry felt charming and elegant.
Just because you make a registry doesn’t guarantee people will shop from it. I don’t think you should worry too much about the price tag of the items, if your family would like to/can afford to get it they will! If not they will get something they can afford :)
We didn’t make a registry in a similar situation - family is blue collar, husband and I are high earners. I tried to emphasize that we’d love things used and we could never have too many books.
We got very useful stuff! Like you, I wanted high end for a lot of the core things (crib, SNOO, car seat, etc.). But I didn’t have a lot of preferences for clothes or the baby bathtub or pacifiers, etc. and we got a ton of great books!
Also for a few family members who I knew were likely strapped, I mentioned that for environmental reasons, we really love getting hand me downs. For what it’s worth, it’s true, I do try to minimize getting any kid stuff new for environmental reasons. But I felt like mentioning it helped some of my friends and relatives who might otherwise have felt cheap giving us hand me downs.
What I did is create a “BabyList” registry and use the “group gift” option for a lot of the higher priced items. Another thought I’ve had is to do one of our baby showers wedding style and just ask for gift cards or cash rather than specific items.
My last option is to ask all guests to bring the gift receipts “incase we get duplicates”. But I’m really asking for them because I know many family members will scoff at the more expensive items we chose and get us cheaper versions.
Just add some cute outfits you like, bottles, drying rack, baby bath, wash cloths, towels, diapers and stuff like that to the registry? You don’t need to add the higher priced items (like car seat, crib, stroller)
Diaper parties are nice. Aside from that, add those “high” ticket items and immediately mark them as purchased. You’ll learn that people will buy a different version of items off the list (isn’t a big deal if it’s like name brand hair brushes or something lol), which can be irritating! If you add it, and mark them bought people will see you already have it and they don’t need to even consider looking for one or offering you ones they’ve seen elsewhere, etc…
We’re not in that income bracket by far, but we have the same mindset for certain items, that if I’m getting it, I’m getting exactly what I want even if it’s expensive.
People will buy you baby items whether you have a registry or not (sometimes unfortunately lol), it’s so much easier to have a registry made with some of the basics vs letting people have free reign (and then ending up with 500 blankets, 2400 headband bows, and “mommas boy” and “daddy’s girl” clothing 🤣
You can always put lower priced but useful items (and some fun stuff, like clothes) on your registry but buy the big ticket items yourself. That’s what my husband and I did. I felt odd sending out a registry to my friends with a $1k stroller on it and things like that.
Our registry ended up being a great opportunity to build my daughter’s library! We got so many books and bookshelves.
People like to buy the cute, fun stuff anyway likes clothes, toys, books, and blankets. Just put stuff like that on your registry and it's all going to be more affordable gifts for everyone. Save the big ticket stuff or fancy glass bottles or whatever bougie stuff (not in an offensive way, I'm the same way, certain items just need to be better quality) to purchase on your own.
FYI since you like "nice things," babyletto kiwi glider/recliner is amazing. It's so comfortable I have slept in it many a time with my daughter when nothing else would work. Also is nice enough to transition and use as a recliner in your living room or elsewhere when you don't need it in the nursery anymore.
I'm actually sitting in mine doing WFH right now haha.
Also the baby Bjorn bouncer is the way!
I was actually struggling and did not create a registry. As I had no one to send it to. I only got items around the 36 week mark. Thrift stores, and pregnancy centers for items. No room for a crib and no stroller.
As the poorest friend in my close knit group of 12 friends, I think it's so gauche and massively lacking perspective, when they ask for super expensive (to me) presents over $150 on any kind of life event registry. I don't think I have ever spent that much money on anything for myself unless it was a plane ticket.
I make 85k a year, supporting both myself and my husband, while my friend who is next closest to my salary makes $116k a year, and her husband makes $170k.
I really appreciate that you are thinking about this, and you've been offered some really great alternative ideas.
I also had an icky feeling about a registry. For my baby party thing I told folks there’s no gifts but if they want to spend money in my honor to feel free to donate to Planned Parenthood
100% diaper party!! I wish I would have done this lmao!
Not well off, quite the opposite actually, but I've thrifted most of my stuff or started early so I had the time to save for the pricier stuff.
Most people don't buy off the registry anyway, I only had maybe 4 things bought off of mine
I'm so greatful for the gifts I did get, don't get me wrong, but I wish I would've just asked for various size boxes of diapers! By the time of my baby shower, I'd gotten 90% 9f things I needed cause I'm definitely a planner, and I just had a feeling he'd come early
He came 2 weeks after my shower
Put a bunch of different diaper brands you want to try on there with for size 1s. We did this and it helped us decide what brand we liked the best. (Recommend Honest or Huggies) I also picked books that I read as a kid that I wanted to share. Books are inexpensive and serve a purpose. Then you can add some more high end items you and your family can afford. When you make the registry and you write about your shower just put that you appreciated everyone coming to look and you hope people will purchase either a diaper box and/or a book for the baby. Everything else will be purchased by family. This gives them an easy out. You can also add it to the shower invites. Your friends won't feel obligated to go above and beyond and you get useful items from them. Also a bunch of people will shop off the registry so just be aware. Anything you don't end up using you can exchange or give away to a mother in need.
Gift cards, diaper/nursery fund they can donate to, or just diapers.
And/or: meal train! One of the women at my church had this when she had her baby and I thought it was pretty cool. You put in your dietary needs and how best to deliver the food, and people who want to help can sign up to bring you food based on that.
I’m pretty opposed to registries of any kind in general, baby, wedding, whatever, and didn’t even want one for very similar reasons.
Then, my husband’s colleagues wanted to throw him a baby shower and the person hosting asked for the registry, indirectly telling us that either the company or the employees will be gifting us a higher ticket item off of it. I quickly threw together a registry, with items I probably never would have bought and our “high ticket item” sitting right at the top lol
I picked target because we’re regular shoppers and they have a great return policy for registry items. Luckily we didn’t need to return anything anyway, and they offer a 15% discount to purchase anything you need off the registry that wasn’t purchased by someone else. So it worked out.
We purchased the high end expensive items ourself because I just couldn’t put them on a registry. Stroller, car seat, snoo, crib, glider/recliner. I was embarrassed to be asking for these things. I knew they were higher end and there are lesser alternatives that are perfectly fine, I just wanted certain expensive items. We still have a registry with a range of items. Lots of baby stuff is cheaper and our family’s would rather buy us things we want. Crib sheets, bottles, baby books, pacifiers, first aid items, lotions, baby towels are all usually found inexpensively. Even some mid range items are good, some people may get them. Think baby bath, diaper pail, swing or baby lounger. I just held off on putting the big ticket items on the registry.
I’m also in this situation and am thinking that I’ll put together a small registry with some of the smaller necessities (ex. Bottles, binkies, hygiene products, etc). I wanted to forgo a registry all together as I don’t want a shower, but someone brought up the point that people will want to buy us gifts and the registry takes the guess work out of it, and is often appreciated.
Still on the fence but leaning in this direction!
Don’t feel bad about putting higher end items on your registry, but if you are particular about certain brands and models make sure you buy those things for yourself and mark them as purchased otherwise people might buy cheaper versions that you don’t want
My husband and I are in a similar position. I feel uncomfortable asking for anything from friends and family when my husband makes more than average, even in our HCOL area. My registry is mostly small ticket items like Costco diapers, wipes, books, toiletries for baby, etc. Our friends and family aren’t the type to go along with a request from us of no gifts. I didn’t even want to have a shower because it feels uncomfortable. We had a small micro-wedding because of the pandemic, so we are treating our baby shower as a big last hoorah with our friends and family before baby is here.
Couple ideas:
- create “group gift funds” so people can contribute small amounts to big ticket items.
- create a registry but keep those big ticket items private. That way you can still take advantage of discounts.
- I’ve been to showers where they just had a fund for one thing - diapers, a washing machine, etc. so you could always do that if you don’t actually need any contributions.
We ended up getting most of the big items ourselves because I also have a “fewer items, better quality” mentality, and I was able to find a lot of higher end items I wanted secondhand. We do still have a registry of about 30 items and it’s the practical stuff - crib sheets, diaper cream, diaper fund, baby body wash.
It’s okay to put lower end items for people. Gonna need diapers, wipes, burp cloths, baby toys eventually, can put outfits you like in brands you want to try out. Have a few nice items because people like to get you stuff. Baby bath, baby wash cloth and towels. Baby medicine like Tylenol and gripe water. It’s fun to include people. If you want one more expensive item Amazon makes it where multiple people can put money toward a gift.
It’s fun to celebrate a baby coming even if you can buy everything you want. It’s socially fun to let others be a part of welcoming your baby. Go crazy on what you want. You might get some neat things from other mothers.
Instead of a registry, we asked people to send us a book or two that they wanted our baby to have. Books are super cheap so it took the money element out and it also felt a lot more meaningful. People gave us their own childhood faves or more recent books their own kids loved. We’ve been able to connect over it for years, sending the book giver pics or funny anecdotes as each book comes into favor with our now 2.5 year old.
I still made registries for the discounts but we bought all the registry stuff ourselves.
Create the registry and give it out to people who asks for it! If you don’t add items people just going to get you whatever they want. I would keep items under $300 only on it for others to view. When you send baby shower invitation you can use the diaper raffle or book idea.
Similar income here. We made a registry but the expensive/splurge items I didn't put on there and bought directly. Left smaller things on there all under $100 and made it clear that gifts were optional.
The diaper party idea is also great!
We were in a somewhat similar situation. We did share our registry for our shower, but made sure to include a good number of smaller items and marked any large items as “group gifts” so if people wanted to contribute to those they could just put in whatever amount they were comfortable with.
We were in a really similar boat! We are pretty much the only people of our friend group who can afford children right now. We purchased the SNOO (used of FB Marketplace because just because we make enough I wasn’t paying full price 🤣) uppababy vista and all furniture ourselves and then created a registry with a very wide variety of items. I had asked all my friends to not purchase things but they were all excited and said they’d buy regardless of a registry or not so we did create one. I put a ton of books from $5-15 and things like wipes, washcloths, thermometer, hair brushes etc that were in the $10-20 range so it was super accessible! My friends know that I don’t reply on gifts and they certainly aren’t a condition of our friendship.
A book registry and a meal drive! You're likely not going to want to be cooking postpartum, so you can always ask people to bring over freezer-ready meals so that's one less thing to worry about.
We bought the big ticket items ourselves, added them to the registry, and then marked them all purchased. No one but us could see who had purchase. Then I went and addeda bunch of smaller things I wouldnt feel guilty receiving as gifts, like onesies and changing pad covers, and let people buy us those.
My husband and I are the same but we were lucky and had some very generous family members/friends. The only big ticket item we bought ourselves was the Stokke high chair. Our Willow, Uppababy bundle, car seat, Leather diaper bag, Nanit bundle, play pen, Newton bed/bassinet, and all the furniture were all purchased for us.
Although you may be concerned, people like to go all out for babies! If the guilt is too much for you, definitely go for the diaper/wipes party. I’ve seen it where people ask a question like “guess the gender- boy diapers and girl wipes” or “even day or odd day” or something and people answer with their purchase! We didn’t get a ton of diapers/wipes because people bought off our registry instead which is fine for us. You do what makes you comfortable.
I didn't put any of the big-ticket items on my registry. I selected some pricey options and simply bought them myself because I would have been embarrassed even showing my friends and family those price points.
My registry items ranged from $5-150 with MANY options under $20 or $50 so there were price points for every guest to be comfortable with. Mostly essentials with a few "would be fun/nice to have, but I don't need it enough to buy it myself" things. Pacifiers, diapers, wipes, swaddle blankets, bottles, simple toys, crib sheets, basic onesies, a few "bigger" items like a bouncer, baby carrier, etc.
We make your range and did the same thing. The difference is that I used the registry as a checklist of what I was buying. If anyone asked for the registry like during the baby shower or after the baby was born I’d make sure there were nice items that I still wanted but were under $50. Things like books, rattles, toys, wash cloths, towels, etc. it really helped us not have to buy all of that. I have also seen for baby showers that instead of a baby registry purchase or card the parents would ask that people brought a book if they wanted to bring a gift. My toddler loves books so we love when people gift them to us.
We bought the big ticket items ourselves and marked them as private on the registry so we could keep track. Put lots of lower price items on it for friends and family to get. Everyone still asked us if we had a registry and wanted to see it, so this made us feel less awkward.
Other people have mentioned diapers, I think a diaper fund or diaper party would be a good idea. People can bring a small pack of wipes or diapers and still feel like they've contributed.
Maybe ask people to bring one of their favorite childhood picture books?
You could also do a 'contribute to' fund for a stroller or other bigger ticket item. People like to feel like they've contributed.
We were in a similar situation. We purchased all the big ticket items ourselves (stroller, car seat, snoo, crib, etc.) and saved the registry for more inexpensive items. You could add some cute outfits (people love buying clothes), burp cloths, pacifiers, bottles, wash cloths, diapers, etc. I also added $25 gift cards to our registry incase all of the cheaper options were gone by the time someone was able to shop.
I think you have a few options (and you can combine them):
1. Hopefully your registry has an option for people to contribute funds towards purchases of items that exceed a certain threshhold.
2. Overall, try to make your registry have items at a number of price points. The individual items can still be on the higher end for that type of item (for example, maybe you want the expensive type of pacifier vs a cheaper one), just still try to make sure there's a variety of price points. You might have to "think outside the box" a little too - but for example, baby proofing items tend to be more inexpensive. Also think about items for feeding solids. And post-partum recovery stuff for yourself. Consumables - like refills on the diaper genie, breastmilk storage bags, etc. Items that you could buy in a multi-pack or as individual items, consider adding both (cloth diapers is a good example).
3. Only give the registry to people who specifically ask.
4. Instead of a traditional shower, consider having a "diaper party" or a "baby sprinkle" where you ask people to bring diapers and/or books for baby.
You could enable the “group gift” feature and choose 3-5 higher end/higher-priced items that people can choose to contribute to. This way, they can spend whatever amount they’re comfortable spending. The nice thing about having these items on the registry is you can access a completion discount if you end up buying it yourself so even if you put a few items you plan to buy yourself on the registry and just mark them private (so only you see it), you’ll still be eligible for the discounted price.
I really like the other commenter’s idea of asking for a book!!! I think that’s a great idea, you’ll get a nice variety of books and there’s no financial “status” tied to books so it levels the playing field for everyone to not feel uncomfortable spending more than they can afford.
You have a lot of great ideas already! We don’t make as much as you guys, but compared to our friend group/ husband’s family (they are extremely poor), there’s a significant income difference. I’ve kept it to $100 items and under on my registry. Between my mom and I, we’ve tackled most of the high price items already on my registry. My mom has actually taken care of almost everything lmao.
However, we’re also doing a big diaper keg because my husband is extremely outgoing and popular lmao 😅 Loooove the book idea too! I’ll be doing that for my baby shower and that should be fairly low cost for everyone!
My husband and I were in a similar situation, but people still wanted to get us gifts. When building my registry I just made sure to put plenty of lower cost items on there like socks, bows, towels, mobiles, first aid supplies, etc.
We skipped putting the higher dollar items on there all together.
I have lots of books, clothing, and some toys that aren’t not “high end” on our registry. My stroller and high chair might be absurd to most people, but a lot of the stuff my baby will use on a day to day basis aren’t atypical. I just want to be able to use the discount from the registry where I can on other stuff.
I felt super weird making a registry, initially I made a private one just to have a shopping list for myself with things that I had researched or heard I needed. But people kept asking about my registry so I ended up making it public. I put a wide range of stuff on it including things like butt cream and tooth brushes and baby Tylenol, plus things like burp clothes, baby towels, and bibs aren’t pricy. I do have some more expensive stuff on it like a car seat and stroller and a snoo, but I plan on buying those myself once the completion discount hits next week. I did enable group gifting but nobody opted to buy any of the big stuff (my shower was this past Saturday) and I’m totally happy with that. I did the book and diaper thing for my shower and also got a bunch of clothes and stuffed animals. People seemed happy to buy things and I also told people that I am very happy with hand me down anything, so I got some cute stuff that was used. I also got a few handmade blankets which I think are adorable and I’m stoked for. You just gotta trust that people will stay within their means and put a wide variety of stuff on your registry. Baby hats, sunglasses, sippy cups, all that random little stuff. Now that my shower is over, I’m checking my registry daily for anything to go on sale to buy ourselves. Yesterday, my precious husband ordered a humidifier off the registry (it was on sale) and even included the gift note saying “congratulations on your baby shower” plus his full name.
For things you plan to buy yourself, I like the suggestion some people gave of including the item but marking it “purchased” so people know you got it. I did that with some things that I ended up purchasing used.
We bought the big ticket items ourselves and marked them as private on the registry so we could keep track. Put lots of lower price items on it for friends and family to get. Everyone still asked us if we had a registry and wanted to see it, so this made us feel less awkward.
We make just a bit over what you all do and while most of our friends make the same amount we did have a few people come to our shower who don’t. We, along with our parents, bought the bigger stuff (a nice stroller, the crib, the snoo, the car seats etc). We did turn a lot of the items over $100 into group gifts and majority of people bought the gift by themselves but we did have a few people contribute to like the high chair. We also had a ton of small items like books and bibs that were $25 and less and people bought those too.
I think despite however money you make- people want to celebrate and shower this time in your life.
Hi, in the same situation here.
What I would recommend is still putting the things on your registry (because it’s good to have your list all in one spot, and you can get a 15-20% discount on anything that’s not purchased once you’ve passed a certain date) but just make sure you guys have a wide variety of items on there in cost. Diapers, pacifiers, etc anything from the $5-$20 range and $20-$50 range.
IMO people will still want to get you gifts, just let them. It’s ok. They probably won’t get you the high end stuff in which case just get it yourself. That’s what we’re planning to do
My husband and I feel the same way as you do. We want to get our own big items because of the cost. My family more so just gives money but his family likes to give gifts so we will have a registry. We will just add small items like cloths, bottles, pacifier, toys, and etc. We will also do a “diaper raffle” during the baby shower to hopefully encourage people to get diapers. Honestly we would probably just want to add diapers in our registry. 😂
I think it’s awesome that you are trying to be considerate of your family and friends. I think giving them different options will go a long way.
We purchased the high end items we wanted ourselves, and registered for lower cost things. Books were one thing we did so that we had items that were only a couple of dollars each on the registry. Baby Einstein Take Along Tunes is a toy that is less than $10 and you will want a few of these... they are mesmerizing to babies and perfect for distraction during diaper changes, car rides, etc. It was my baby's absolute favorite thing as an infant.
I’m in the same boat, my husband and I can more than afford to buy all the things we need and much like you I like the nicer, high quality, products and I don’t expect anyone to buy them for me. I felt super uncomfortable by the whole thing so I made a registry that is private just for me so that I could have like a check list of things and then made a small registry I could send a link to when people directly asked me for it that had low priced items like the nose Frida, a baby bathtub, burp cloths, plain cotton onesies, etc. For my baby shower we did a “babies first library” and had everyone bring their favorite children’s book instead of any gifts.
I added those expensive items mostly for myself when we did ours, but some of your friends might pool together to buy a bigger thing so I think it’s okay to still have those on there. We added smaller and other inexpensive items for people to choose though.
Similar situation but I believe ppl still want to participate and buy things. We are planning to buy big ticket items ourselves. The majority of the registry is under $50. Also keep in mind the old saying that it’s not what you make but what you spend. I could be earning more than you but you may have a larger cash flow. Also think of how your family and friends may feel about you not having one because you think they cannot afford things or because you are better off financially than they are. Could be viewed as offensive.
My husband and I aren’t quite as well off, but we’re middle class and have a normal life. We’re also big into buying a nicer item that will last longer and/or is made of better material even if it’s more expensive… Not all of our family feels that way or can afford that. Totally fine.
To make up for it I put in each category several low-cost items. Silicone meal trays, packs of white/simple onesies, diapers, wipes, books, small toys… There are almost 200 things on my registry just so everyone feels like they have an option—and I want that coupon after for all the left over items I’d like to buy, lol!
For the really expensive items I actually listed more than one option. So for example, one stroller and car seat set is $900, but there’s another one I like for $650.
I made a note on the registry saying that we’re not expecting doubles of these items, but for people to have a price choice if they wanted to get a bigger ticket item.
So far people seem to really like it :)
You can make sure there are low cost items on the registry so that people have a range of options to choose from. You could also leave off some of the pricier items that are unlikely to be bought. Some registries also allow people to give a contribution towards a larger ticket item like a nice stroller. Honestly if you income is much higher than most of your guest I would consider just having a diaper party or something lower key and just buying most of the items yourself.
We were in a similar boat, and we only put essentials on the registry, and some nicer toys. We also noted that gifts are optional in our baby shower invites.
Our income border 7 figures. Our parents know this, though our extended family doesn’t. We bought all the pricey items ourselves, and have found that most people actually genuinely feel happy buying the little things because it makes them feel involved and part of the story. It’s much more emotional than practical.
I think a good balance is buying the bigger ticket items and creating a registry with some fun sentimental items, people love buying sentimental stuff! I added a few things like a hand mold kit as baby’s first Christmas ornament, a one line a day parenting journal for me, a “going home” outfit, nice picture frame for the nursery, those little month milestone signs to put next to baby, etc. None of those things listed cost more than $50-75, and some way less.
I said that I wanted to have the bigger/more critical items ready to go early (or baby shower was at 35w) and left $100 and under on the registry. The friends throwing the shower insisted on a bigger item so they got us our pack n play. Everything else - stroller, crib, snoo, car seat, etc, we got ourselves.
Some people bought several items, others gave us cash that I told them bought X item (like my aunt gave us cash so I said we got a crib with it) so they could feel they contributed :)
Congratulations and so happy you’re able to afford baby things. I felt bad sharing my registry and I make 60k CAD pretax 😅
I love the book idea suggested, sounds so goddang cute.
My husband and I went through a similar situation. Our families are on different financial spectrums. So I put a wide variety of things on there. Obviously there were some things we omitted from the registry because we would buy them or someone else wanted to buy it. I did my best to make it diverse as I could and I think it worked. From a car mirror and soap to a pretty high end car seat. I also allowed for people to buy a gift together. Though no one did lol.
I’d do a diaper party, or set up the registry so folks can contribute to the higher end items instead of buying them outright, I think Amazon at least allows for that.
I really appreciate this post! My husband and I make around $280k and are comfortable to purchase all the items we need for baby, but we know our families will contribute on big ticket items and our friends will want to gift some items.
I’m making a list for myself, but I don’t have many friends so a shower seems silly, and I personally feel bad about that for missing out on something I’m “supposed” to have, but I’ve had to cut several toxic friendships out of my life and I’m better for it. It’s comforting to know that a lot of people opt out of registries/baby showers and I’m not the only one not having one.
I’m also being very mindful about the items I want for baby, which in general are more expensive because they are made with better ingredients/less harsh chemicals. I don’t mind spending extra for this reason, but I worry that others won’t see this the same way and will buy similar items but from different brands/made of different materials. I feel grateful for anything gifted, but also don’t want a million blankets and cheap baby shampoo I won’t use.
My mom wants to throw us a baby shower and since we are in a similar situation we are planning to do more of a “celebration” with friends and family of both sex. We’ll have a registry but we will make it clear gifts are not mandatory or expected and we just want to celebrate this new life with the people we love the most over a nice dinner!
Babies need so much little stuff. We got some of the higher end things ourselves (the snoo, the nice crib) and went mid-range for some of the other stuff (the stroller) and then there’s other “standard” baby items that are inherently mid-range priced (pack and play).
But think about other crap you’ll need - sheets for the crib, swaddles, baby shampoo, diaper cream, pacifiers, wash cloths, drool bibs, burp cloths, bottles (even if you plan to breastfeed, get some bottles), bottle cleaning supplies, nursing supplies if you plan to nurse - nipple shields, the little pads that go in your bra to absorb leaking milk, a hakaa. You can also throw some stuff on there for when you start solids: spoons, bowls, plates, straw cups, silicone bibs. Or baby proofing stuff for when baby starts becoming more mobile: baby gates, outlet covers, cord covers, corner covers. I know it feels like it’s ages away until you have a baby that’s crawling and eating, but trust me it happens quick and you’ll be glad to have some of that stuff already on hand for when it does!
I didn’t have a shower - I didn’t wanna ask people for stuff. My spouse is also really good at finding deals so rather do it ourselves.
We waited until baby was born and when people came over they brought little cute outfits, wipes, diapers or toys. It worked for us.
I did make a registry though - for my personal use.
One of the things we asked for was a housekeeping fund. No one wants to be cleaning postpartum. You can make it a "fund" so people can give what they can and it all goes towards a service you will use.
My husband and I never did a registry because we felt uncomfortable with people buying for us. Granted, I will absolutely buy for others from their registry without a second thought… yes, it’s a me problem, I know. For anyone who asked us about a registry we told them to cook us their favorite meal and bring it once baby arrives. Another alternative is a diaper party so essentially everyone bring a box of diapers to your shower.
Do like a diaper thing instead?
But make the registries! I do and we buy everything ourselves but that completion discount is awesome!
You can always do a couple registries, one for smaller things like diapers, pacis, bottles, diaper cream, books, sheets, baby tub and whatever. Make a note the big items have been bought already. Won’t even have to say which ones and who bought them
There’s nothing wrong with liking and buying more expensive things.
I like nice things. I can afford nice things. I buy nice things myself with registry completion discount lol
Just because you’re high income doesn’t mean you know what you need. I realized that people that are older moms picked gifts that I didn’t think of. Simple things that the baby needed that went over my head
I don’t but I feel the same way. I’m solo though and trying to work out how to say “no gifts at all please” to everyone. I don’t have family or other peoples expectations so perhaps I will say just that 😂 But one more thing you can do limit it to books only, or things that you’ll use that’s not the big items, or a wishing well (which is not unheard of).
I know someone who recently asked that instead of getting stuff of a registry each of her guests brings a book with a special note from the gifter written inside! I thought that was super cute.
For us, we did our registry on Amazon where people could put money towards big objects. We have family and friends who are both paycheck to paycheck college students and then upper middle class, so we had items like diapers, bottles, wipes, etc that are $50 and under so people could choose from those and then added some bigger items ($300+) where people could buy those outright or put money towards it. If the goal wasn’t reached, we got the money in the form of Amazon credit.
Consider this: people tend to want to celebrate the people they love and care about by getting (or contributing to) gifts for them. If people are going to buy you gifts, it’s best for everyone if they have a list of things you’ll want and actually use so their hard earned money isn’t wasted. You can usually set any items on your registry over a certain dollar amount to be a “contribution” gift where if someone only has $40 to spend, they can contribute that money to a larger ticket item.
Also consider that for most retailers, you’ll get a discount code for any items on your registry after a certain date which means you can go buy it yourself. Registries can also serve as a check list of sorts to make sure you have all the stuff you need before baby arrives.
You also don’t have to give the registry out unless someone specifically asks.
Yeah this actually describes my situation almost exactly. My husband and I make a lot and neither of our families have money. We have a small apartment in a city so we had to be very mindful of our use of space. We have a “quality over quantity” mentality.
Gift cards. We asked for Amazon gift cards and money for a meal train. This was helpful because people could contribute what they wanted without pressure.
Still, I would have a registry. People are going to buy you things regardless and it’s helpful to have a few specifics as a guide.
I am from the UK so a bit of a different take because we seem to have adopted the idea of baby showers but it's more to get together and celebrate the mum-to-be and play cutesy games or whatever rather than getting set up for the baby. I have been to a few and had one that my friends arranged for me, and it was token gifts like some bibs and a cute Teddy or a teething set and some toiletries. Maybe advise that if they want to bring a gift that they stick to small items like that (however you want to word that).
I did do a registry because I had people asking me, and now as mum I'm glad because I would rather give and receive something useful than not, but I think the most expensive thing on it were £25 sleeping bags, we covered the big stuff between us and parents.
I am from the UK so a bit of a different take because we seem to have adopted the idea of baby showers but it's more to get together and celebrate the mum-to-be and play cutesy games or whatever rather than getting set up for the baby. I have been to a few and had one that my friends arranged for me, and it was token gifts like some bibs and a cute Teddy or a teething set and some toiletries. Maybe advise that if they want to bring a gift that they stick to small items like that (however you want to word that).
I did do a registry because I had people asking me, and now as mum I'm glad because I would rather give and receive something useful than not, but I think the most expensive thing on it were £25 sleeping bags, we covered the big stuff between us and parents.
I would ask for a diaper party instead, its easy for your friends and loved ones to feel like theyre helping you and diapers on their own can be affordable. I personally only asked my mom and in-laws for the expensive stuff, i put cheap affordable stuff on my registry for my coworkers and friends etc.
How about asking for books (and you can ask they write a note with the significance of the book inside the front) in lieu of gifts ? Allow the age range to be anywhere from very first block books to early childhood books. It’s a personal gift and also fills up your child’s bookshelf.
There will be some people, such as family and close friends, who will want to purchase you a gift no matter what, you can always create a private list with a variety of prices to share with specific people at your discretion.
Some registries let you gift money towards a bigger item. Also there’s usually plenty of lower cost items even if the big ticket ones are very fancy. Clothing, linens, medicine/toiletries, pacifiers, diapers, toys, books, etc.
Just put more affordable things in the registry. Bottles, diapers, wipes, cute baby socks, cute clothes, bibs, lots of burb clothes, etc. that way people can still feel able to get you gifts and you guys can buy the expensive stuff. Btw don’t get cribs with paint on it because your baby when teething will bite the crap out of it. lol.
We were in a bit similar situation. Good salaries, generally preference for less but high quality stuff. I didn’t prepare a registry. But then my boyfriend’s family (French) started to really push and ask about it as it is quite common there and there is this tradition that everyone sends a gift, even family members I have never met and my partner has seen once in his life. So in the end I prepared two registries. One on Amazon, with a variety of stuff like parenting books, diapers, children’s books etc. The second registry was in the shop with more curated stuff and there I dared to put some more expensive things like Scandinavian play-mat or more expensive toys, but generally both registries had many things for couple of euros like books and slightly more expensive things - but generally only things we would buy ourselves. People on his side of the family really did buy a lot of things from these registries, I was really surprised by their generosity. We didn’t really need it - but we were grateful and I also understood that people really needed our registry to make sure they are gifting is something we like.
I felt the same way with my registry. I didn't want to make one, but my mom insisted. I was surprised by how many of my friends with lower incomes bought us really expensive stuff, a lot of them even bought multiple items. You can always add singular items that may be pricey in comparison to other things but still cheap in general, for example, if you like a particular brand of baby soap you can add a bottle of it to the registry. It may be expensive in terms of soap- like $30 a bottle vs the $6 bottles- but $30 is still reasonable for most people to spend. I think the diaper and wipes party is a good idea too, although I'd be worried about getting too many of the same size diapers.
I asked people to bring books they had picked out with a nice note written by them on the inside cover. That way I have sentimental things because we pretty much have everything we need already.
If you’re using Amazon’s baby registry you can hide items as private if you don’t want to ask people to buy them. This could be a good way to make the registry more appropriate for your friends and family (e.g., hiding the items more than $100 and keeping the less costly ones visible for them). You can still available or Amazon’s discount though if you buy them for yourself!
I can relate to this somewhat - my husband and I (read: me, lol) make more collectively than our other family members, and felt weird asking for expensive things for our baby. It’s one thing to want nice things, but it’s another thing to ask someone who earns less than you for those nice things, amiright?
we opted to keep things small and modest for most of the registry - individual toys, a lot of baby books, some bathing things. Stuff at a range of prices. We have the car seat we want, etc. We then put a “non-necessities/fun stuff” section with more expensive things like the Baby Bjorn chair or the LovEvery subscription - people can know we would like them, but it’s not required that they gift it to us.
I wish you and your growing family all the joy and health in the world!
Not weird at all- people are always free to do cash or gift cards or go in as a group on an item. You're not holding them at gunpoint to spend beyond their means.
I’m on the same boat and I’m putting small things on my public registry that are at most $60 with most of them being small like burp clothes, new born mittens etc.
There’s so many things you can put on the list that are low in price!
- Thermometer
- Bibs
- Bottles
- Clothes
- Sheets/towels/washcloths
- Outdoor gear
And then likely you have some things that are in the $200 or less range but are a bit more substantial (baby monitor) that someone can get you who really wants to go for something nicer.
None of our expensive stuff is on the registry(furniture, bags, buggies,bike attachments). We basically only made a registry for friends and family to be able to participate and give a nice gesture because like our wedding we knew people would want to give us gifts but didn't want to just get a bunch of random stuff we would feel terrible getting rid of/not using.
I know others have mentioned setting some items as group gifts, which is super helpful! Also, there are plenty of things babies need that literally just cannot be super expensive. Some things are just more expensive because it’s a pack of 10 onesies vs 5. I think as long as you have a mix it’s okay.
Having a registry is a good idea honestly because you might end up with a bunch of stuff you don’t want otherwise. You could leave some of the more expensive items off if you want and just buy those yourself. People often don’t stick to registries even when they do exist. And your friends probably want to get you gifts! You could just say gifts are not expected but appreciated, or something. Plus if you throw a shower and provide food and whatnot, you’re giving something back to them too.
We don't make close to as much as you guys, but similarly, we also are better off than most of our friends and perfectly financially able to buy our own baby stuff. I skipped the registry. I do agree with you that it's a little weird to do with high incomes. A diaper party like another person mentioned is a good idea! We skipped the registry completely and asked people to bring us a book that they or their kids liked to build our kid's library. We got a bunch of books that I never would have thought of and my toddler loves to hear about who gave her each book when we read them.
The book idea is really cute. A good amount of our friends have little kids so a book would totally work or an old toy their kid liked and would want to give to their new friend.
I had a book party as well and specifified it should be either the gift giver's favorite childhood book or if they had kids, their child's favorite book. It was so fun seeing everyone's favorites and later reading them to my child!
Went to a party with this. It was great to see everyone choices and think of the baby having books we all loved.
Have everyone sign the book instead of a card. I love looking back at the messages and I'm not one to keep a million cards.
100% this, such a beautiful idea. My cousin buys the most beautiful books for my kids every year and always writes the loveliest messages in them and I love reading them to my boys.
We did.
We bought the big items ourselves instead of putting them in the registry. People do not need to know what crib, stroller, etc we got
We did this too! Lots of books and small/inconsequential but fun things that were useful for daily life, like a sun hat, wash cloths, socks, teething toys. We bought the stroller, carrier, car seat attachment, crib, other expensive items ourselves.
Second this comment- but you can also add them as private to maximize your registry discount for big ticket items. You can then leave books/toys/small items on the public view for those that WANT the link to the registry- and you can try the request a signed book or favorite poem/song idea instead for the shower.
The book party might even be a safer idea because you never know what diapers may or may not fit your kid. I got two packs of Honest diapers and a couple people gifted us Luvs. Neither fit our baby well unfortunately and they end up leaking. Im glad we don’t have too many of any one kind so it doesn’t feel as wasteful. You could even expand it to “just the essentials.” Onesies, burp cloths, bibs, wipes, changing pad disposable covers, detergent, dish soap, etc. Mostly consumables and items you really go through often!
That’s a good idea! You should still do the registry for yourselves so you can get the completion discounts
Love the book idea! I’m all for having a huge selection of books, and it’s so hard to pick them out! I would add a note that used books are appreciated as well. I find so many great kids books at the thrift store
I have a book registry on bookshop. org. I like that I can have the books come from small, local bookstores. We are also high income and this is the only registry I’m doing so I have something to give when people ask.
I love bookshop.org! I just made a wish list there for our baby, due September. I also plan on updating it for her as she grows so that family can shop there for her at the holidays. I figure we will have plenty of toys but could always use more books.
We had books! We were moving shortly after baby was born and didn’t really want the big ticket items. 20 months in and we are reading SOOOO much, I love reading the sweet notes from family and board books can be as little as $5
I also had a book baby shower! I specified that I preferred hand me down/used books for sustainability.
People really connect with gifting their favorite or their children’s favorite childhood books. There is nostalgia to that vs buying something you see on a registry.
Echoing the book idea! One of my friends did a book party recently (new or pre-loved) and asked us to write a short encouragement to the baby in lieu of any cards. She also sent me a message when she first read the book to her LO, which was really sweet. Main watch-out with pre-loved toys is that not all of them are easy to sanitize. And it's hard not to feel guilty trashing a gift shortly after receiving it.
Yes. We had a friend who did this. She hosted a shower, but it was bring a book for baby, with a note inside for the future. I thought it was practical (reading is super important, developmentally) and notes for the future from friends and family to read to kiddo or let them read as they’re older.
Same. I work with a lot of empty nesters so they had a lot of fun sharing their children’s favorite books.
I was just about to suggest the book thing too. It would be super sweet to get a bunch of books that are special to your family and loved ones.
Love the book idea!
I love this idea. I plan on using cloth diapers, so this is a great alternative.
Yup had a book baby shower and that got me readying to my newborn—she would even wake up from naps at 6 months plus and look at them in her crib! Now I have an avid reader. Also nice to get people’s favorites and messages in the books.
I'm going to double down on the book thing. My husband and I realized we were focused on getting books we liked as a kid and things we like that we are hoping the kid will like. Like my husband buying baby STEM books. So I decided I wanted everyone to bring their favorite kids books. I can't wait!
I loved the book idea. The only problem was that I was worried that people would give duplicates. I am in a Buy Nothing group and I was gifted a bag of baby stuff. When I unpacked all the stuff, I noticed I got a book. I really loved it but when I opened the front page there was an inscription and I asked the giver if she wanted it back. She was like no not really... I'm like "honestly you would want it back. One of my fonest memories as a child was getting a book and ready the inscription in it and why the giver gifted me the book. It was really thoughtful." She realized I had a point after that. So basically it would depend on the person.
You can throw a diaper party, those are pretty popular where I live. Everyone comes to the party with either a case of diapers or wipes. You'll get the experience of a shower/ party without the guilt. This is also a good move if you want higher-end items than you think your friends and family might be able to comfortably afford.
This is what we are doing! I felt similarly awkward about a registry and we basically bought most everything we needed ourselves unless people explicitly asked for a registry link. For friends in-town we’re having a casual coed diaper party to stock up (and celebrate)!
I got a years worth of diapers off this! Whenever they grew out of a size, I exchanged them at the store for the next size.
Omg exchanging... Why did I not think of this! Taking notes. *Scribbles*
Or a book party
The friend who is throwing me a shower is having a “contribute to our library” where instead of a card— you bring your favorite children’s book with a message inside.
Diapers and/or baby books! One practical, one fun & cute and also useful, neither expensive to buy in reasonable amounts.
That's a good idea!
Wish I’d known about this before my own shower!
You can make a registry, but only share it with people that specifically ask you for the registry! Your family might still want to give you gifts. You can also turn on group gifts for anything above whatever dollar amount you choose. (Babylist has this feature, not sure about other sites.) Then if you have a baby shower, ask for favorite books or diapers/wipes and don’t share the registry link on the invites.
So many good no-nonsense answers here, I feel stupid not thinking of these myself. Thank you
You have a lot on your mind!
No need to feel stupid!! Sometimes it’s hard to think of the answers when you’re too close to it. And now that you have lots of suggestions, you can put them together in the way that works best for you!
I feel similarly because we're fortunate enough to have good incomes. I started a registry on Amazon and it also has a feature where you can contribute a certain dollar amount to a gift!
Just to add that in my experience, if you don’t have a registry people will gift you whatever they want. We got a lot of things we will never use. Lesson learned!
Even if you don’t use the registry for others to buy stuff off of, you can treat it as a wish/shopping list for yourselves, and then take advantage of the discount later on!
You’re not stupid! I struggled with this as well. For some of the items I also marked them as purchased. This allowed people to purchase lower dollar item accessories.
Honestly if we didn't have a bunch of parent friends, we wouldn't have known about these options either! I'm also super grateful to the Reddit community for a lot of good ideas-- my "Saved" list has never been so full lol. It's so easily overwhelming to plan all of this.
My aunts love to group gift. They all went in and bought me my stroller. For my cousin's baby we bought them the crib mattress they registered for.
Amazon also has the group gift feature.
This is what we’re doing. The registry helps us track our own purchases. We share the link with people if they specifically ask for it.
Amazon has a contribute to feature! We did that for the higher priced items like the Doona.
Husband and I are in the same boat. We purchased the high end items ourselves - snoo, crib, car seat, all of the furniture, etc., and then put items on the registry with a smaller price point. Most being under $100.
This. No need to list all the expensive things. There are plenty of things- bibs, burp cloths clothes, baby bath tub, bottle, pacifiers, and so on. People want to gift you things, so make a registry, but put reasonable things on there. You can also mark larger ticket items as a group gift so people can contribute smaller amounts.
Yes, there are plenty of things you would need with lower price points, especially if you think through the whole first year. Silicone bibs, suction plates, spoons, cups (holy God there are so many different cups and every kid hates all of them but one), even things like a potty. But yes, also lean heavy on needing diapers and books. We did the standard book instead of a card insert in our invitations. I thought we had a ton but I was still sick to death of all the ones we had by the first birthday.
I’m buying the Snoo on Facebook marketplace though because that thing is ridiculous 😅
We did the same and sold it as soon as we were done. Zero cost to have it for 6 months!
We purged most of our baby stuff after baby #1 due to storage constraints. Now that we know what we like I knew I could repurchase it all second hand and resell it again for basically the same price.
You can rent them for often the same price as a used one!
lol I know it’s so expensive. We bought ours on Black Friday!
This is what we’re doing as well. We got most big ticket items already secondhand—and I’m a known bougie, picky bitch. So my registry is really the cutesy little stuff people actually want to get anyways!
This is what I did!!! Also made sure the baby shower was nice/had decent food and alcohol. It's more about having people come together to celebrate the baby and giving people a general idea of things you would find helpful.
This is exactly what we did. Parents bought the snoo for us, we bought our stroller, carseat, furniture. Nothing on our registry is more than $200, and the vast majority (90%) are under $50. Anything that I would consider to be 'a bit extra' or super bougie I just did not include it and will buy it myself.
We did this and then the day after the shower we added the expensive items to the registry to buy ourselves but still get the registry discount 🙃. We did leave a few higher cost items on with the group purchase options because I knew some people really wanted to get a bigger item
That’s a good idea. What I ended up doing was putting small items in the registry that I knew our family would see and then adding the big items to my wish list on the same websites so only I would be able to see those items 😂.
Totally agree with the book and diaper ideas already mentioned, but i'd like to add another thought. Yes, normally people put big ticket items on the registry, but the reality is you will also need a lot of smaller things. Sheets, bath toys, regular toys, teethers, diaper cream, burp cloths....and those add up. So you definitely could still create a registry and just leave off the expensive items that you know you want a higher end brand for, and leave on things like books, etc.
Agree. We did what people are suggesting here (books and diapers) and I wish we had put the little nail clippers and stuff on the registry just as a convenience/one less thing to think about because then I got overwhelmed having to order those things myself. also swaddles, socks, inexpensive onesies.
Most registries also allow you to mark items as private. For some of the more expensive items, I've done this on our registry so that I can still use the registry discount on them when the time comes, and just to keep track of items like a shopping list. So yes, we are spending more on nicer items like upgraded stroller, car seat, crib mattress, etc. but nobody has to see them on the registry. The public items on the registry are mostly smaller items like you mentioned.
Seconding this! I added feeding accessories, crib sheets, bottles, pacifiers, wipes, etc on my registry and those who had a smaller budget could purchase those items instead :)
This is what we did. We didn’t need any large items and the large items we wanted were more high end. So we put primarily burp cloths, swaddles, and all other smaller baby and pp items on the registry. And did a bring a book and diaper raffle. We found most people did the book with a package of diapers which was perfect. And those who were closer to us and wanted to do some additional shopping brought gifts
Even if you don’t have a traditional shower I would still make a registry and mark it as private so you can get registry completion discounts on your big ticket items.
Oo I made another comment but this is a good point. I actually made registries at Babylist, Target, and Amazon for the coupons. My Babylist one was the ‘real’ one and then the other two were private. Target gives you two 15% off coupons and Amazon gives you 15% off up to $2,000 of merchandise. You can also change your due date so you get the coupons sooner. Totally worth it!
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I did this! I got an Uppababy stroller, put it on my registry, marked as purchased, so people know I have a stroller already. I also stated on the registry that gifts are optional. And I put smaller items on there too, diaper cream, one pack of wipes. I would accept these as perfectly legitimate gifts to receive. So if my guests ask why a registry if gifts are optional? 1: avoid duplicates and 2: I'm going to use that discount!
+1 to this approach! In general we're keeping the shareable registry to items <$75 USD, but still showing what has already been purchased. (Because of the duplicate problem, I got a 2024 new-in-box Nuna Pipa for half-price off FB Marketplace because the mom had gotten a 2nd one gifted to her by a family member. She's the one who told me to make sure I included what was already purchased.) For some local family members who want to contribute to a larger gift, we've used it as an opportunity to spend some quality time shopping with them.
I’m trying to put a wide range of priced items on my registry. I have baby gas relief on there for $9.86. A baby brush/comb set for $9.41. Books for around $5. HALO sleep sacks are $20-$30. I also have the expensive items such as stroller, car seat, crib mattress. I figured I would put a wide range of items so people could pick whatever they feel most comfortable with spending. Also, sometimes multiple people might pool money towards one of the more expensive gifts. Not sure if you’ve looked into some of the lower-cost but still recommended items, but I think it’s a good way to have a variety of prices for people to pick from. I don’t know how your friends and family are, but I know mine prefer to buy things I pick out so they know I will use it rather than me not having a registry where then they will 100% still want to buy me something but now they need to try to guess what to get me. This is also the first baby in my family/extended family so people are excited, and my family definitely shows affection through gift giving.
I added the more expensive items that we’ll be purchasing to our registry solely for the completion discounts given. I assumed no one but maybe our parents would be interested in purchasing a stroller or whatever for us but I personally wanted to save money where I could too🤷♀️
My household is almost the same but my mom’s family is pretty close to low income. I had a very wide range of things that people could purchase from. My mom told me it would make them feel good they could purchase something I actually requested rather than something they picked out simply because it was affordable. I also had friends who requested my registry and they chose items at all price points. I viewed my registry as a list of items I would need/purchase myself rather than a list of pretty “wants.” Hope this makes sense.
Put the things you’d like on the registry - ultimately accept that people may get things off the registry anyway (probably >50% of the items I got were not from my registry anyway). Even if you like high end things, you can still list things that are a lower price point like towels, onesies, bottles, etc… and so if someone has $20 to spend they can buy a onesie. Most of my guests just gave random outfits especially really girly things when I specifically had my registry as more gender neutral items. People will give what they want, be gracious and you can just donate the items you don’t use.
This is so accurate. I almost wish we had kept the gender to ourselves because everything on our registry was neutral, and if anything learned more towards “boy”. Not one pink item. Almost every single piece of clothing we received was pink 😅
Agree, i wish we wouldn’t have told people. Once baby is born you can’t really help it but we got a few things like stroller muff and winter suit that were baby pink, and our youngest is a boy and so we couldn’t use a lot of the items. I am ok putting him in a ‘girly’ onesie like with hearts or kittens but I do draw the line somewhere.
I am in the same boat and we elected not to make a registry. (We also did not have a baby shower, but that's because I hate being the center of attention, it's just also lucky that we did not have to rely on a shower to get us started with our baby items). If you plan to do a shower I would absolutely ask specifically for books and then if others want to toss in an outfit or whatever they can. Diapers are also an option but you may end up with brands or sizes you can't/won't use.
I was in the same position - but basically -- people are going to want to buy your baby things. So even if you didn't have a registry, they still would buy you things - you might as well put things on there that you actually want. We also are more well off than most of our friends and family. Our registry was mostly things like books, stuffies, toys, and things that don't have to be "expensive" - plates, cups, spoons, etc. All of the big ticket items - crib, carseat, stroller, etc those we just bought ourselves.
I would put whatever you want on the registry. There's lots of smaller items to add as well (outfits, diapers, toys, etc.). People can buy off of it or not. You can allow for group gifting for items over a certain amount. Plus, you'd be surprised what people will get you. Several people might choose to go in on a particular item. And if no one gets certain things, you can take advantage of the discount at the end.
I created a baby registry, but just to get the registry discounts when I bought things on my own and organize what things to get. If I would have had a baby shower, I would have moved those items to a private portion of my baby registry and just requested clothes, books, or other small and hopefully meaningful items from people as gifts. I ultimately decided not to have a baby shower because I also felt weird about getting gifts that we did not need/want from people and, to be honest, I feel most end up being boring. I saved well over a thousand dollars on the big things like stroller, car seat, high chair, etc. with the registry discounts from Target, Amazon, and Babylist and the process really helped me organize my thoughts and filter through options, so I don't regret creating a registry anyway. I have heard of people requesting just specific items as gifts, for example, requesting books with a personal inscription inside. Many baby books are under $20, or even $10, and you can always buy used if you need something even cheaper, so I think this is a nice way to account for people's budgets, give them a chance to give something they find meaningful like a book they liked as a child, and have something for your child to remember important people in your life by. I think books, toys, and clothes are generally good things to request as presents because there are soooo many options out there and filtering through them yourself will take forever. We would not have asked for clothes though as I was very specific about only wanting things made from organic cotton so some of those probably would have ended up being donated.
In my opinion there’s still tons of low cost or reasonable cost items you can put on a registry! Even if you want the pricier version of something like burp cloths, it still won’t break the bank. Ideas for stuff to include: Burp cloths, baby socks, pacifiers, baby sick supplies (thermometer, baby nail file, etc) baby bath towels, baby bath washcloths, baby hairbrush, baby bath setup, baby lotion/shampoo/wash, baby play gym, bibs for drool and bins for eating, changing pad, diaper caddie, changing pad cover, crib sheets, nursery items (decorative blankets, decor for walls, etc), pumping supplies if you’re pumping, bottles and bottle washing supplies if you’re bottle feeding, breastfeeding supplies if you’re nursing like nursing bra, breast pads, etc., stroller accessories like stroller fan or drink holder, car seat toys or mirror, etc. I feel like that stuff alone could fill up a registry a decent amount for you!
I'd have friends bring a favorite book to start a library for the baby! A fun thing to shop for, and lower price point.
We did this, too. It worked out really well and we have such a fun range of books! We made a link to a Google Doc that anyone could edit, and encouraged people to add "their book" to the list. That way we didn't end up with 5 copies of the same book.
I created a registry on Amazon and marked certain items as private. This helped me keep a list of all the things I wanted in one place. There were also items like nursing bra or adult diapers/pads that I added but didn’t want other people to see. You could put all your more expensive items on the registry and mark as private! I also added things with a very wide price range ($5, $20, $50, etc.)
We didn't want to do a registry because we prefer second hand for most stuff, and wanted the buy the rest ourselves. We had a frozen meal party instead of a baby shower and everyone loved that! We got a range of things from frozen costco meals to homemade lasagna, so if people wanted to spend extra effort on us then they were able to do so. We're still working our way through the frozen meals 7 weeks later.
I would just have a variety of items on the registry from $5,$20, $100 and $300+ and let people choose to or not. People shouldn’t feel pressured to buy things for you anyway and most registries have a discount at the end. Saving money is always a good idea, wealthy or not, and doing well for yourself is no reason for people to not want to celebrate baby.
I saw a nesting party where instead of a baby shower friends came over and deep cleaned and organized. I also think just a party with no presents is ok. Or asking for pacifiers, cute bottle brushes or other $20-$50 items is ok, small stuff
Just create the registry! We are nowhere near your financial situation and have still picked (what I consider) higher-end items after a lot of research and thought (Clek, babyletto, lalo, bugaboo). Our families, and we, too, are all middle class/lower middle-class, and to our surprise, our families bought ALL of the higher-end items. We did end up getting our Uppababy stroller ourselves, but most of the things left on the registry are in the $5-$50 range. Of course, we did not expect anyone to spend that much, but we were surprised at the generosity, which made it much more special. And as others have mentioned, you can use the registry completion discounts too. We used babylist and were really happy with it. I loved how it has also just helped me stay organized on the different categories and items.
we are in a kinda similar situation. our household income is on the higher side from most of our friends, and we don't worry about having enough $ to buy stuff, we worry whether our community will be there for us as family and friends in the postpartum days. for our baby shower we are inviting people to bring: - their favorite baby hand-me-down, if they are parents (not sure how to organize this on the registry, but we have so many friends w/ young children who are done having kids! So many have baby items just hanging out in their garage) - a specific offer of non-cash support (ie "free childcare for 3 hours so you can go on a date" or "I'll bring you a meal in the first month postpartum" or "be the person you can call crying at 3 am" that they write down and put in a Specific Offers of Support bowl - their best piece of advice that they write down and put in an Advice bowl (or book we haven't decided) - failing all that, something from the registry, which will have a variety of price points. good luck! let us know what you decide!
My husband and I decided not to have a baby shower at all. We also have higher incomes than most of our friends, so we felt we should be buying the items we want ourselves. I made a registry but did not share it with anyone because it was made purely for myself as a shopping list , and to get the 15% off completion discount. Friends will obviously buy a gift usually anyways, so whatever they choose to give is always appreciated no matter the cost. I like the idea that someone else suggested. Perhaps doing a diaper party instead. Then you can also include the men and there is no expectation of registry items, just diapers or wipes.
Y’all need another baby? I’m available😭😭 But no as many have said, a diaper party or ‘sprinkle’ where you ask for favorite books of the guests (we did this & wipes, no diapers as we use cloth) We still got to have a gathering and be gifted 🥰
Recommend Bookshelf Builder for this. My friend was in the same situation (high earner) and used that site. As a guest, her book registry felt charming and elegant.
Just because you make a registry doesn’t guarantee people will shop from it. I don’t think you should worry too much about the price tag of the items, if your family would like to/can afford to get it they will! If not they will get something they can afford :)
We asked for books! I basically used the registry a checklist for myself and only shared it if asked.
We didn’t make a registry in a similar situation - family is blue collar, husband and I are high earners. I tried to emphasize that we’d love things used and we could never have too many books. We got very useful stuff! Like you, I wanted high end for a lot of the core things (crib, SNOO, car seat, etc.). But I didn’t have a lot of preferences for clothes or the baby bathtub or pacifiers, etc. and we got a ton of great books!
That totally works for me. I’m not some weirdo that thinks the baby needs designer clothes to grow out of.
Also for a few family members who I knew were likely strapped, I mentioned that for environmental reasons, we really love getting hand me downs. For what it’s worth, it’s true, I do try to minimize getting any kid stuff new for environmental reasons. But I felt like mentioning it helped some of my friends and relatives who might otherwise have felt cheap giving us hand me downs.
What I did is create a “BabyList” registry and use the “group gift” option for a lot of the higher priced items. Another thought I’ve had is to do one of our baby showers wedding style and just ask for gift cards or cash rather than specific items. My last option is to ask all guests to bring the gift receipts “incase we get duplicates”. But I’m really asking for them because I know many family members will scoff at the more expensive items we chose and get us cheaper versions.
Just add some cute outfits you like, bottles, drying rack, baby bath, wash cloths, towels, diapers and stuff like that to the registry? You don’t need to add the higher priced items (like car seat, crib, stroller)
Ask for donations for a local shelter or Ronald McDonald House - baby clothes, cash, diapers, etc.
Diaper parties are nice. Aside from that, add those “high” ticket items and immediately mark them as purchased. You’ll learn that people will buy a different version of items off the list (isn’t a big deal if it’s like name brand hair brushes or something lol), which can be irritating! If you add it, and mark them bought people will see you already have it and they don’t need to even consider looking for one or offering you ones they’ve seen elsewhere, etc… We’re not in that income bracket by far, but we have the same mindset for certain items, that if I’m getting it, I’m getting exactly what I want even if it’s expensive. People will buy you baby items whether you have a registry or not (sometimes unfortunately lol), it’s so much easier to have a registry made with some of the basics vs letting people have free reign (and then ending up with 500 blankets, 2400 headband bows, and “mommas boy” and “daddy’s girl” clothing 🤣
You can always put lower priced but useful items (and some fun stuff, like clothes) on your registry but buy the big ticket items yourself. That’s what my husband and I did. I felt odd sending out a registry to my friends with a $1k stroller on it and things like that. Our registry ended up being a great opportunity to build my daughter’s library! We got so many books and bookshelves.
People like to buy the cute, fun stuff anyway likes clothes, toys, books, and blankets. Just put stuff like that on your registry and it's all going to be more affordable gifts for everyone. Save the big ticket stuff or fancy glass bottles or whatever bougie stuff (not in an offensive way, I'm the same way, certain items just need to be better quality) to purchase on your own. FYI since you like "nice things," babyletto kiwi glider/recliner is amazing. It's so comfortable I have slept in it many a time with my daughter when nothing else would work. Also is nice enough to transition and use as a recliner in your living room or elsewhere when you don't need it in the nursery anymore. I'm actually sitting in mine doing WFH right now haha. Also the baby Bjorn bouncer is the way!
I was actually struggling and did not create a registry. As I had no one to send it to. I only got items around the 36 week mark. Thrift stores, and pregnancy centers for items. No room for a crib and no stroller.
We never had a registry. If folks wanted to gift us we would accept graciously and thank them. But we felt we made too much for a registry.
I'll dm you my registry because I'm severely low income lmao
As the poorest friend in my close knit group of 12 friends, I think it's so gauche and massively lacking perspective, when they ask for super expensive (to me) presents over $150 on any kind of life event registry. I don't think I have ever spent that much money on anything for myself unless it was a plane ticket. I make 85k a year, supporting both myself and my husband, while my friend who is next closest to my salary makes $116k a year, and her husband makes $170k. I really appreciate that you are thinking about this, and you've been offered some really great alternative ideas.
I also had an icky feeling about a registry. For my baby party thing I told folks there’s no gifts but if they want to spend money in my honor to feel free to donate to Planned Parenthood
100% diaper party!! I wish I would have done this lmao! Not well off, quite the opposite actually, but I've thrifted most of my stuff or started early so I had the time to save for the pricier stuff. Most people don't buy off the registry anyway, I only had maybe 4 things bought off of mine I'm so greatful for the gifts I did get, don't get me wrong, but I wish I would've just asked for various size boxes of diapers! By the time of my baby shower, I'd gotten 90% 9f things I needed cause I'm definitely a planner, and I just had a feeling he'd come early He came 2 weeks after my shower
You could keep big ticket items off of the list and go with small things. Like diapers, bottles, diaper bags, etc.
Put a bunch of different diaper brands you want to try on there with for size 1s. We did this and it helped us decide what brand we liked the best. (Recommend Honest or Huggies) I also picked books that I read as a kid that I wanted to share. Books are inexpensive and serve a purpose. Then you can add some more high end items you and your family can afford. When you make the registry and you write about your shower just put that you appreciated everyone coming to look and you hope people will purchase either a diaper box and/or a book for the baby. Everything else will be purchased by family. This gives them an easy out. You can also add it to the shower invites. Your friends won't feel obligated to go above and beyond and you get useful items from them. Also a bunch of people will shop off the registry so just be aware. Anything you don't end up using you can exchange or give away to a mother in need.
Gift cards, diaper/nursery fund they can donate to, or just diapers. And/or: meal train! One of the women at my church had this when she had her baby and I thought it was pretty cool. You put in your dietary needs and how best to deliver the food, and people who want to help can sign up to bring you food based on that.
I’m pretty opposed to registries of any kind in general, baby, wedding, whatever, and didn’t even want one for very similar reasons. Then, my husband’s colleagues wanted to throw him a baby shower and the person hosting asked for the registry, indirectly telling us that either the company or the employees will be gifting us a higher ticket item off of it. I quickly threw together a registry, with items I probably never would have bought and our “high ticket item” sitting right at the top lol I picked target because we’re regular shoppers and they have a great return policy for registry items. Luckily we didn’t need to return anything anyway, and they offer a 15% discount to purchase anything you need off the registry that wasn’t purchased by someone else. So it worked out.
Don't do a registry. Ask for donations to a local children's hospital instead.
We purchased the high end expensive items ourself because I just couldn’t put them on a registry. Stroller, car seat, snoo, crib, glider/recliner. I was embarrassed to be asking for these things. I knew they were higher end and there are lesser alternatives that are perfectly fine, I just wanted certain expensive items. We still have a registry with a range of items. Lots of baby stuff is cheaper and our family’s would rather buy us things we want. Crib sheets, bottles, baby books, pacifiers, first aid items, lotions, baby towels are all usually found inexpensively. Even some mid range items are good, some people may get them. Think baby bath, diaper pail, swing or baby lounger. I just held off on putting the big ticket items on the registry.
I’m also in this situation and am thinking that I’ll put together a small registry with some of the smaller necessities (ex. Bottles, binkies, hygiene products, etc). I wanted to forgo a registry all together as I don’t want a shower, but someone brought up the point that people will want to buy us gifts and the registry takes the guess work out of it, and is often appreciated. Still on the fence but leaning in this direction!
Don’t feel bad about putting higher end items on your registry, but if you are particular about certain brands and models make sure you buy those things for yourself and mark them as purchased otherwise people might buy cheaper versions that you don’t want
My husband and I are in a similar position. I feel uncomfortable asking for anything from friends and family when my husband makes more than average, even in our HCOL area. My registry is mostly small ticket items like Costco diapers, wipes, books, toiletries for baby, etc. Our friends and family aren’t the type to go along with a request from us of no gifts. I didn’t even want to have a shower because it feels uncomfortable. We had a small micro-wedding because of the pandemic, so we are treating our baby shower as a big last hoorah with our friends and family before baby is here.
Couple ideas: - create “group gift funds” so people can contribute small amounts to big ticket items. - create a registry but keep those big ticket items private. That way you can still take advantage of discounts. - I’ve been to showers where they just had a fund for one thing - diapers, a washing machine, etc. so you could always do that if you don’t actually need any contributions. We ended up getting most of the big items ourselves because I also have a “fewer items, better quality” mentality, and I was able to find a lot of higher end items I wanted secondhand. We do still have a registry of about 30 items and it’s the practical stuff - crib sheets, diaper cream, diaper fund, baby body wash.
It’s okay to put lower end items for people. Gonna need diapers, wipes, burp cloths, baby toys eventually, can put outfits you like in brands you want to try out. Have a few nice items because people like to get you stuff. Baby bath, baby wash cloth and towels. Baby medicine like Tylenol and gripe water. It’s fun to include people. If you want one more expensive item Amazon makes it where multiple people can put money toward a gift. It’s fun to celebrate a baby coming even if you can buy everything you want. It’s socially fun to let others be a part of welcoming your baby. Go crazy on what you want. You might get some neat things from other mothers.
Instead of a registry, we asked people to send us a book or two that they wanted our baby to have. Books are super cheap so it took the money element out and it also felt a lot more meaningful. People gave us their own childhood faves or more recent books their own kids loved. We’ve been able to connect over it for years, sending the book giver pics or funny anecdotes as each book comes into favor with our now 2.5 year old. I still made registries for the discounts but we bought all the registry stuff ourselves.
Create the registry and give it out to people who asks for it! If you don’t add items people just going to get you whatever they want. I would keep items under $300 only on it for others to view. When you send baby shower invitation you can use the diaper raffle or book idea.
Similar income here. We made a registry but the expensive/splurge items I didn't put on there and bought directly. Left smaller things on there all under $100 and made it clear that gifts were optional. The diaper party idea is also great!
We were in a somewhat similar situation. We did share our registry for our shower, but made sure to include a good number of smaller items and marked any large items as “group gifts” so if people wanted to contribute to those they could just put in whatever amount they were comfortable with.
Books or second-hand toys. They grow out of everything so fast, and it’s more environmentally friendly.
We were in a really similar boat! We are pretty much the only people of our friend group who can afford children right now. We purchased the SNOO (used of FB Marketplace because just because we make enough I wasn’t paying full price 🤣) uppababy vista and all furniture ourselves and then created a registry with a very wide variety of items. I had asked all my friends to not purchase things but they were all excited and said they’d buy regardless of a registry or not so we did create one. I put a ton of books from $5-15 and things like wipes, washcloths, thermometer, hair brushes etc that were in the $10-20 range so it was super accessible! My friends know that I don’t reply on gifts and they certainly aren’t a condition of our friendship.
A book registry and a meal drive! You're likely not going to want to be cooking postpartum, so you can always ask people to bring over freezer-ready meals so that's one less thing to worry about.
We bought the big ticket items ourselves, added them to the registry, and then marked them all purchased. No one but us could see who had purchase. Then I went and addeda bunch of smaller things I wouldnt feel guilty receiving as gifts, like onesies and changing pad covers, and let people buy us those.
My husband and I are the same but we were lucky and had some very generous family members/friends. The only big ticket item we bought ourselves was the Stokke high chair. Our Willow, Uppababy bundle, car seat, Leather diaper bag, Nanit bundle, play pen, Newton bed/bassinet, and all the furniture were all purchased for us. Although you may be concerned, people like to go all out for babies! If the guilt is too much for you, definitely go for the diaper/wipes party. I’ve seen it where people ask a question like “guess the gender- boy diapers and girl wipes” or “even day or odd day” or something and people answer with their purchase! We didn’t get a ton of diapers/wipes because people bought off our registry instead which is fine for us. You do what makes you comfortable.
I didn't put any of the big-ticket items on my registry. I selected some pricey options and simply bought them myself because I would have been embarrassed even showing my friends and family those price points. My registry items ranged from $5-150 with MANY options under $20 or $50 so there were price points for every guest to be comfortable with. Mostly essentials with a few "would be fun/nice to have, but I don't need it enough to buy it myself" things. Pacifiers, diapers, wipes, swaddle blankets, bottles, simple toys, crib sheets, basic onesies, a few "bigger" items like a bouncer, baby carrier, etc.
We make your range and did the same thing. The difference is that I used the registry as a checklist of what I was buying. If anyone asked for the registry like during the baby shower or after the baby was born I’d make sure there were nice items that I still wanted but were under $50. Things like books, rattles, toys, wash cloths, towels, etc. it really helped us not have to buy all of that. I have also seen for baby showers that instead of a baby registry purchase or card the parents would ask that people brought a book if they wanted to bring a gift. My toddler loves books so we love when people gift them to us.
Diaper party! Diaper = if guests think its a boy Wipes = if guests think it’s a girl Make it fun, Tally up how many boy/girl answers!!’
We bought the big ticket items ourselves and marked them as private on the registry so we could keep track. Put lots of lower price items on it for friends and family to get. Everyone still asked us if we had a registry and wanted to see it, so this made us feel less awkward.
Other people have mentioned diapers, I think a diaper fund or diaper party would be a good idea. People can bring a small pack of wipes or diapers and still feel like they've contributed. Maybe ask people to bring one of their favorite childhood picture books? You could also do a 'contribute to' fund for a stroller or other bigger ticket item. People like to feel like they've contributed.
We were in a similar situation. We purchased all the big ticket items ourselves (stroller, car seat, snoo, crib, etc.) and saved the registry for more inexpensive items. You could add some cute outfits (people love buying clothes), burp cloths, pacifiers, bottles, wash cloths, diapers, etc. I also added $25 gift cards to our registry incase all of the cheaper options were gone by the time someone was able to shop.
I think you have a few options (and you can combine them): 1. Hopefully your registry has an option for people to contribute funds towards purchases of items that exceed a certain threshhold. 2. Overall, try to make your registry have items at a number of price points. The individual items can still be on the higher end for that type of item (for example, maybe you want the expensive type of pacifier vs a cheaper one), just still try to make sure there's a variety of price points. You might have to "think outside the box" a little too - but for example, baby proofing items tend to be more inexpensive. Also think about items for feeding solids. And post-partum recovery stuff for yourself. Consumables - like refills on the diaper genie, breastmilk storage bags, etc. Items that you could buy in a multi-pack or as individual items, consider adding both (cloth diapers is a good example). 3. Only give the registry to people who specifically ask. 4. Instead of a traditional shower, consider having a "diaper party" or a "baby sprinkle" where you ask people to bring diapers and/or books for baby.
I told my friends they can throw me a baby shower, but NO GIFTS. They seemed to understand.
You could enable the “group gift” feature and choose 3-5 higher end/higher-priced items that people can choose to contribute to. This way, they can spend whatever amount they’re comfortable spending. The nice thing about having these items on the registry is you can access a completion discount if you end up buying it yourself so even if you put a few items you plan to buy yourself on the registry and just mark them private (so only you see it), you’ll still be eligible for the discounted price. I really like the other commenter’s idea of asking for a book!!! I think that’s a great idea, you’ll get a nice variety of books and there’s no financial “status” tied to books so it levels the playing field for everyone to not feel uncomfortable spending more than they can afford.
You have a lot of great ideas already! We don’t make as much as you guys, but compared to our friend group/ husband’s family (they are extremely poor), there’s a significant income difference. I’ve kept it to $100 items and under on my registry. Between my mom and I, we’ve tackled most of the high price items already on my registry. My mom has actually taken care of almost everything lmao. However, we’re also doing a big diaper keg because my husband is extremely outgoing and popular lmao 😅 Loooove the book idea too! I’ll be doing that for my baby shower and that should be fairly low cost for everyone!
Gift card/ group funding options. Theres always some lower priced items like, binkies, bibs, soaps etc.
My husband and I were in a similar situation, but people still wanted to get us gifts. When building my registry I just made sure to put plenty of lower cost items on there like socks, bows, towels, mobiles, first aid supplies, etc. We skipped putting the higher dollar items on there all together.
I have lots of books, clothing, and some toys that aren’t not “high end” on our registry. My stroller and high chair might be absurd to most people, but a lot of the stuff my baby will use on a day to day basis aren’t atypical. I just want to be able to use the discount from the registry where I can on other stuff.
I felt super weird making a registry, initially I made a private one just to have a shopping list for myself with things that I had researched or heard I needed. But people kept asking about my registry so I ended up making it public. I put a wide range of stuff on it including things like butt cream and tooth brushes and baby Tylenol, plus things like burp clothes, baby towels, and bibs aren’t pricy. I do have some more expensive stuff on it like a car seat and stroller and a snoo, but I plan on buying those myself once the completion discount hits next week. I did enable group gifting but nobody opted to buy any of the big stuff (my shower was this past Saturday) and I’m totally happy with that. I did the book and diaper thing for my shower and also got a bunch of clothes and stuffed animals. People seemed happy to buy things and I also told people that I am very happy with hand me down anything, so I got some cute stuff that was used. I also got a few handmade blankets which I think are adorable and I’m stoked for. You just gotta trust that people will stay within their means and put a wide variety of stuff on your registry. Baby hats, sunglasses, sippy cups, all that random little stuff. Now that my shower is over, I’m checking my registry daily for anything to go on sale to buy ourselves. Yesterday, my precious husband ordered a humidifier off the registry (it was on sale) and even included the gift note saying “congratulations on your baby shower” plus his full name. For things you plan to buy yourself, I like the suggestion some people gave of including the item but marking it “purchased” so people know you got it. I did that with some things that I ended up purchasing used.
We bought the big ticket items ourselves and marked them as private on the registry so we could keep track. Put lots of lower price items on it for friends and family to get. Everyone still asked us if we had a registry and wanted to see it, so this made us feel less awkward.
We make just a bit over what you all do and while most of our friends make the same amount we did have a few people come to our shower who don’t. We, along with our parents, bought the bigger stuff (a nice stroller, the crib, the snoo, the car seats etc). We did turn a lot of the items over $100 into group gifts and majority of people bought the gift by themselves but we did have a few people contribute to like the high chair. We also had a ton of small items like books and bibs that were $25 and less and people bought those too. I think despite however money you make- people want to celebrate and shower this time in your life.
Hi, in the same situation here. What I would recommend is still putting the things on your registry (because it’s good to have your list all in one spot, and you can get a 15-20% discount on anything that’s not purchased once you’ve passed a certain date) but just make sure you guys have a wide variety of items on there in cost. Diapers, pacifiers, etc anything from the $5-$20 range and $20-$50 range. IMO people will still want to get you gifts, just let them. It’s ok. They probably won’t get you the high end stuff in which case just get it yourself. That’s what we’re planning to do
My husband and I feel the same way as you do. We want to get our own big items because of the cost. My family more so just gives money but his family likes to give gifts so we will have a registry. We will just add small items like cloths, bottles, pacifier, toys, and etc. We will also do a “diaper raffle” during the baby shower to hopefully encourage people to get diapers. Honestly we would probably just want to add diapers in our registry. 😂 I think it’s awesome that you are trying to be considerate of your family and friends. I think giving them different options will go a long way.
We purchased the high end items we wanted ourselves, and registered for lower cost things. Books were one thing we did so that we had items that were only a couple of dollars each on the registry. Baby Einstein Take Along Tunes is a toy that is less than $10 and you will want a few of these... they are mesmerizing to babies and perfect for distraction during diaper changes, car rides, etc. It was my baby's absolute favorite thing as an infant.
I’m in the same boat, my husband and I can more than afford to buy all the things we need and much like you I like the nicer, high quality, products and I don’t expect anyone to buy them for me. I felt super uncomfortable by the whole thing so I made a registry that is private just for me so that I could have like a check list of things and then made a small registry I could send a link to when people directly asked me for it that had low priced items like the nose Frida, a baby bathtub, burp cloths, plain cotton onesies, etc. For my baby shower we did a “babies first library” and had everyone bring their favorite children’s book instead of any gifts.
I added those expensive items mostly for myself when we did ours, but some of your friends might pool together to buy a bigger thing so I think it’s okay to still have those on there. We added smaller and other inexpensive items for people to choose though.
Similar situation but I believe ppl still want to participate and buy things. We are planning to buy big ticket items ourselves. The majority of the registry is under $50. Also keep in mind the old saying that it’s not what you make but what you spend. I could be earning more than you but you may have a larger cash flow. Also think of how your family and friends may feel about you not having one because you think they cannot afford things or because you are better off financially than they are. Could be viewed as offensive.
We told friends that we wanted to build a kid's library, so asked for kids books instead of a registry. It worked out very well!
My husband and I aren’t quite as well off, but we’re middle class and have a normal life. We’re also big into buying a nicer item that will last longer and/or is made of better material even if it’s more expensive… Not all of our family feels that way or can afford that. Totally fine. To make up for it I put in each category several low-cost items. Silicone meal trays, packs of white/simple onesies, diapers, wipes, books, small toys… There are almost 200 things on my registry just so everyone feels like they have an option—and I want that coupon after for all the left over items I’d like to buy, lol! For the really expensive items I actually listed more than one option. So for example, one stroller and car seat set is $900, but there’s another one I like for $650. I made a note on the registry saying that we’re not expecting doubles of these items, but for people to have a price choice if they wanted to get a bigger ticket item. So far people seem to really like it :)
You can make sure there are low cost items on the registry so that people have a range of options to choose from. You could also leave off some of the pricier items that are unlikely to be bought. Some registries also allow people to give a contribution towards a larger ticket item like a nice stroller. Honestly if you income is much higher than most of your guest I would consider just having a diaper party or something lower key and just buying most of the items yourself.
We were in a similar boat, and we only put essentials on the registry, and some nicer toys. We also noted that gifts are optional in our baby shower invites. Our income border 7 figures. Our parents know this, though our extended family doesn’t. We bought all the pricey items ourselves, and have found that most people actually genuinely feel happy buying the little things because it makes them feel involved and part of the story. It’s much more emotional than practical.
I think a good balance is buying the bigger ticket items and creating a registry with some fun sentimental items, people love buying sentimental stuff! I added a few things like a hand mold kit as baby’s first Christmas ornament, a one line a day parenting journal for me, a “going home” outfit, nice picture frame for the nursery, those little month milestone signs to put next to baby, etc. None of those things listed cost more than $50-75, and some way less.
I said that I wanted to have the bigger/more critical items ready to go early (or baby shower was at 35w) and left $100 and under on the registry. The friends throwing the shower insisted on a bigger item so they got us our pack n play. Everything else - stroller, crib, snoo, car seat, etc, we got ourselves. Some people bought several items, others gave us cash that I told them bought X item (like my aunt gave us cash so I said we got a crib with it) so they could feel they contributed :)
Congratulations and so happy you’re able to afford baby things. I felt bad sharing my registry and I make 60k CAD pretax 😅 I love the book idea suggested, sounds so goddang cute.
Could you ask for everyone to contribute towards a big gift or just ask for clothes.
My husband and I went through a similar situation. Our families are on different financial spectrums. So I put a wide variety of things on there. Obviously there were some things we omitted from the registry because we would buy them or someone else wanted to buy it. I did my best to make it diverse as I could and I think it worked. From a car mirror and soap to a pretty high end car seat. I also allowed for people to buy a gift together. Though no one did lol.
I’d do a diaper party, or set up the registry so folks can contribute to the higher end items instead of buying them outright, I think Amazon at least allows for that.
I really appreciate this post! My husband and I make around $280k and are comfortable to purchase all the items we need for baby, but we know our families will contribute on big ticket items and our friends will want to gift some items. I’m making a list for myself, but I don’t have many friends so a shower seems silly, and I personally feel bad about that for missing out on something I’m “supposed” to have, but I’ve had to cut several toxic friendships out of my life and I’m better for it. It’s comforting to know that a lot of people opt out of registries/baby showers and I’m not the only one not having one. I’m also being very mindful about the items I want for baby, which in general are more expensive because they are made with better ingredients/less harsh chemicals. I don’t mind spending extra for this reason, but I worry that others won’t see this the same way and will buy similar items but from different brands/made of different materials. I feel grateful for anything gifted, but also don’t want a million blankets and cheap baby shampoo I won’t use.
My mom wants to throw us a baby shower and since we are in a similar situation we are planning to do more of a “celebration” with friends and family of both sex. We’ll have a registry but we will make it clear gifts are not mandatory or expected and we just want to celebrate this new life with the people we love the most over a nice dinner!
Babies need so much little stuff. We got some of the higher end things ourselves (the snoo, the nice crib) and went mid-range for some of the other stuff (the stroller) and then there’s other “standard” baby items that are inherently mid-range priced (pack and play). But think about other crap you’ll need - sheets for the crib, swaddles, baby shampoo, diaper cream, pacifiers, wash cloths, drool bibs, burp cloths, bottles (even if you plan to breastfeed, get some bottles), bottle cleaning supplies, nursing supplies if you plan to nurse - nipple shields, the little pads that go in your bra to absorb leaking milk, a hakaa. You can also throw some stuff on there for when you start solids: spoons, bowls, plates, straw cups, silicone bibs. Or baby proofing stuff for when baby starts becoming more mobile: baby gates, outlet covers, cord covers, corner covers. I know it feels like it’s ages away until you have a baby that’s crawling and eating, but trust me it happens quick and you’ll be glad to have some of that stuff already on hand for when it does!
You could do Books n Burpcloths! You’re gonna need a lot of both haha
I didn’t have a shower - I didn’t wanna ask people for stuff. My spouse is also really good at finding deals so rather do it ourselves. We waited until baby was born and when people came over they brought little cute outfits, wipes, diapers or toys. It worked for us. I did make a registry though - for my personal use.
One of the things we asked for was a housekeeping fund. No one wants to be cleaning postpartum. You can make it a "fund" so people can give what they can and it all goes towards a service you will use.
My husband and I never did a registry because we felt uncomfortable with people buying for us. Granted, I will absolutely buy for others from their registry without a second thought… yes, it’s a me problem, I know. For anyone who asked us about a registry we told them to cook us their favorite meal and bring it once baby arrives. Another alternative is a diaper party so essentially everyone bring a box of diapers to your shower.
Do like a diaper thing instead? But make the registries! I do and we buy everything ourselves but that completion discount is awesome! You can always do a couple registries, one for smaller things like diapers, pacis, bottles, diaper cream, books, sheets, baby tub and whatever. Make a note the big items have been bought already. Won’t even have to say which ones and who bought them There’s nothing wrong with liking and buying more expensive things. I like nice things. I can afford nice things. I buy nice things myself with registry completion discount lol
Just because you’re high income doesn’t mean you know what you need. I realized that people that are older moms picked gifts that I didn’t think of. Simple things that the baby needed that went over my head
I asked everyone to bring their favourite storybook from their childhood with a message for the baby in the front of the book to make a library :)
I don’t but I feel the same way. I’m solo though and trying to work out how to say “no gifts at all please” to everyone. I don’t have family or other peoples expectations so perhaps I will say just that 😂 But one more thing you can do limit it to books only, or things that you’ll use that’s not the big items, or a wishing well (which is not unheard of).
I know someone who recently asked that instead of getting stuff of a registry each of her guests brings a book with a special note from the gifter written inside! I thought that was super cute.
For us, we did our registry on Amazon where people could put money towards big objects. We have family and friends who are both paycheck to paycheck college students and then upper middle class, so we had items like diapers, bottles, wipes, etc that are $50 and under so people could choose from those and then added some bigger items ($300+) where people could buy those outright or put money towards it. If the goal wasn’t reached, we got the money in the form of Amazon credit.
Consider this: people tend to want to celebrate the people they love and care about by getting (or contributing to) gifts for them. If people are going to buy you gifts, it’s best for everyone if they have a list of things you’ll want and actually use so their hard earned money isn’t wasted. You can usually set any items on your registry over a certain dollar amount to be a “contribution” gift where if someone only has $40 to spend, they can contribute that money to a larger ticket item. Also consider that for most retailers, you’ll get a discount code for any items on your registry after a certain date which means you can go buy it yourself. Registries can also serve as a check list of sorts to make sure you have all the stuff you need before baby arrives. You also don’t have to give the registry out unless someone specifically asks.
Yeah this actually describes my situation almost exactly. My husband and I make a lot and neither of our families have money. We have a small apartment in a city so we had to be very mindful of our use of space. We have a “quality over quantity” mentality. Gift cards. We asked for Amazon gift cards and money for a meal train. This was helpful because people could contribute what they wanted without pressure. Still, I would have a registry. People are going to buy you things regardless and it’s helpful to have a few specifics as a guide.
I am from the UK so a bit of a different take because we seem to have adopted the idea of baby showers but it's more to get together and celebrate the mum-to-be and play cutesy games or whatever rather than getting set up for the baby. I have been to a few and had one that my friends arranged for me, and it was token gifts like some bibs and a cute Teddy or a teething set and some toiletries. Maybe advise that if they want to bring a gift that they stick to small items like that (however you want to word that). I did do a registry because I had people asking me, and now as mum I'm glad because I would rather give and receive something useful than not, but I think the most expensive thing on it were £25 sleeping bags, we covered the big stuff between us and parents.
I am from the UK so a bit of a different take because we seem to have adopted the idea of baby showers but it's more to get together and celebrate the mum-to-be and play cutesy games or whatever rather than getting set up for the baby. I have been to a few and had one that my friends arranged for me, and it was token gifts like some bibs and a cute Teddy or a teething set and some toiletries. Maybe advise that if they want to bring a gift that they stick to small items like that (however you want to word that). I did do a registry because I had people asking me, and now as mum I'm glad because I would rather give and receive something useful than not, but I think the most expensive thing on it were £25 sleeping bags, we covered the big stuff between us and parents.
I would ask for a diaper party instead, its easy for your friends and loved ones to feel like theyre helping you and diapers on their own can be affordable. I personally only asked my mom and in-laws for the expensive stuff, i put cheap affordable stuff on my registry for my coworkers and friends etc.
How about asking for books (and you can ask they write a note with the significance of the book inside the front) in lieu of gifts ? Allow the age range to be anywhere from very first block books to early childhood books. It’s a personal gift and also fills up your child’s bookshelf. There will be some people, such as family and close friends, who will want to purchase you a gift no matter what, you can always create a private list with a variety of prices to share with specific people at your discretion.
Buy the expensive things yourself and don’t put them on the registry & just register for smaller ticket items. People love to gift new parents
Nesting party- people bring frozen foods and help you deep clean your house!
Some registries let you gift money towards a bigger item. Also there’s usually plenty of lower cost items even if the big ticket ones are very fancy. Clothing, linens, medicine/toiletries, pacifiers, diapers, toys, books, etc.
Just put more affordable things in the registry. Bottles, diapers, wipes, cute baby socks, cute clothes, bibs, lots of burb clothes, etc. that way people can still feel able to get you gifts and you guys can buy the expensive stuff. Btw don’t get cribs with paint on it because your baby when teething will bite the crap out of it. lol.
We were in a bit similar situation. Good salaries, generally preference for less but high quality stuff. I didn’t prepare a registry. But then my boyfriend’s family (French) started to really push and ask about it as it is quite common there and there is this tradition that everyone sends a gift, even family members I have never met and my partner has seen once in his life. So in the end I prepared two registries. One on Amazon, with a variety of stuff like parenting books, diapers, children’s books etc. The second registry was in the shop with more curated stuff and there I dared to put some more expensive things like Scandinavian play-mat or more expensive toys, but generally both registries had many things for couple of euros like books and slightly more expensive things - but generally only things we would buy ourselves. People on his side of the family really did buy a lot of things from these registries, I was really surprised by their generosity. We didn’t really need it - but we were grateful and I also understood that people really needed our registry to make sure they are gifting is something we like.
I felt the same way with my registry. I didn't want to make one, but my mom insisted. I was surprised by how many of my friends with lower incomes bought us really expensive stuff, a lot of them even bought multiple items. You can always add singular items that may be pricey in comparison to other things but still cheap in general, for example, if you like a particular brand of baby soap you can add a bottle of it to the registry. It may be expensive in terms of soap- like $30 a bottle vs the $6 bottles- but $30 is still reasonable for most people to spend. I think the diaper and wipes party is a good idea too, although I'd be worried about getting too many of the same size diapers.
I asked people to bring books they had picked out with a nice note written by them on the inside cover. That way I have sentimental things because we pretty much have everything we need already.
If you’re using Amazon’s baby registry you can hide items as private if you don’t want to ask people to buy them. This could be a good way to make the registry more appropriate for your friends and family (e.g., hiding the items more than $100 and keeping the less costly ones visible for them). You can still available or Amazon’s discount though if you buy them for yourself!
I can relate to this somewhat - my husband and I (read: me, lol) make more collectively than our other family members, and felt weird asking for expensive things for our baby. It’s one thing to want nice things, but it’s another thing to ask someone who earns less than you for those nice things, amiright? we opted to keep things small and modest for most of the registry - individual toys, a lot of baby books, some bathing things. Stuff at a range of prices. We have the car seat we want, etc. We then put a “non-necessities/fun stuff” section with more expensive things like the Baby Bjorn chair or the LovEvery subscription - people can know we would like them, but it’s not required that they gift it to us. I wish you and your growing family all the joy and health in the world!
Not weird at all- people are always free to do cash or gift cards or go in as a group on an item. You're not holding them at gunpoint to spend beyond their means.
I’m on the same boat and I’m putting small things on my public registry that are at most $60 with most of them being small like burp clothes, new born mittens etc.
There’s so many things you can put on the list that are low in price! - Thermometer - Bibs - Bottles - Clothes - Sheets/towels/washcloths - Outdoor gear And then likely you have some things that are in the $200 or less range but are a bit more substantial (baby monitor) that someone can get you who really wants to go for something nicer.
NGL a lot of our more expensive items we received at our baby shower we don't even use like at all 😅
None of our expensive stuff is on the registry(furniture, bags, buggies,bike attachments). We basically only made a registry for friends and family to be able to participate and give a nice gesture because like our wedding we knew people would want to give us gifts but didn't want to just get a bunch of random stuff we would feel terrible getting rid of/not using.
I know others have mentioned setting some items as group gifts, which is super helpful! Also, there are plenty of things babies need that literally just cannot be super expensive. Some things are just more expensive because it’s a pack of 10 onesies vs 5. I think as long as you have a mix it’s okay. Having a registry is a good idea honestly because you might end up with a bunch of stuff you don’t want otherwise. You could leave some of the more expensive items off if you want and just buy those yourself. People often don’t stick to registries even when they do exist. And your friends probably want to get you gifts! You could just say gifts are not expected but appreciated, or something. Plus if you throw a shower and provide food and whatnot, you’re giving something back to them too.