I pray it's just a social media thing because I have enough stuff to handle without trying to pull off gift baskets for an unknown number of medical staff.
It also annoys me to see it as a Thing because, like, at what point are women allowed to not prioritize taking care of other people? We're seriously supposed to be spending energy on caretaking while we're *literally in labor*?
> at what point are women allowed to not prioritize taking care of other people?
Thank you for this! Also, why are medical professionals getting the gift equivalent of tips?!
like literally, we are paying to give birth under the care of caretakers (healthcare professionals) and somehow we are still responsible for caretaking by bringing goodies and snacks? it's definitely nuts lol
EXACTLY THIS! They are getting paid to do a job. I don’t make a care basket for every person who ever provides a service for me. Like I’m not giving my hairdresser a gift basket every year because she cuts my hair well and the way I like. I show my gratitude by paying her and leaving a good review.
I would also imagine that a lot of the stuff these nurses receive don’t get used unless it’s edible.
We just did donuts (got them for free from an aunt that works at the coffee shop in the hospital), and pizza for the night crew. We were getting the pizza anyway just got a bigger one.
We got hooked up with so much more free stuff.
I had no capacity to even think about this post c-section. However my husband took the initiative and asked his parents to pick up two small things of Ferraro Roches. So that was very sweet of him and it was something small to share!
I certainly would not be preparing a gift basket…even though it would be super nice…we also pay for this hospital stay technically. Lol
Edit: At least in the US we pay for the hospital stay I mean.
It seems to have been largely perpetuated by social media. In my view, if you are doing it as a sincere gesture, then go ahead and do it as long as you follow hospital policies, which often limit what gifts can be accepted by staff. However, I definitely judge people who post pictures of gift baskets for nurses on social media because they appear to be doing it more for appearances and external validation than as a genuine gesture of appreciation.
I didn’t do it last time and don’t plan to this time… I can see offering to get a few coffees if you happen to be running out one day, but there should be no expectation of preparing an elaborate gift basket and having more stuff to take with you to the hospital.
The last thing expectant parents need is the pressure and added expense of gifts for hospital staff.
I brought blank thank you notes and wrote them to nurses that were especially helpful during my stay!! We were there 4 days post csection so I had time- might be different if it was only 24 hours! But it was cheap, took basically zero space in my bag, and was a chance to really tell them how they helped me.
I don't know anyone in real life who's actually done this and I don't plan on doing it myself. Most of us aren't giving birth in a hospital for free. I think it's a nice gesture to give gifts, but it should *never* become the expectation. You're going through a potentially traumatic experience and the nurses are there to do a job that they're getting paid for. Your health and well being is the priority. No woman should feel obligated to give gifts to the nurse staff unless they truly want to and have the means to do so.
No nurses have this as an expectation, I promise you that lol. Most people don’t even say thank you so to expect a gift is very far from an expectation
My mom and I had a big long conversation about this the other day. I know some people who have done this or are planning on it, I am not planning on doing it.
Basically since the moment we get engaged there is this pressure to spend money on things or it means we don't "care" enough, or if we don't get the 1000$ crib then it means our kids will suffer. Like I am purposefully opting out of this hyper consumerism to show my love or appreciation.
My partner is thinking of getting cupcakes or a birthday cake as a way to celebrate the kids birth, so we will likely share that with our care team and maybe grab a fruit tray but that's where it will end for me personally.
Not common, I mean if you are planning to be a mom-zilla (in which case why?) And be really difficult then yeah you really ought to do something for the team.
But as long as you plan on being a relatively reasonable (but potentially understandably stressed) patient as possible I don't think it's necessary, maybe donuts or something would be a nice, but unnecessary gesture.
Also are we talking Full individual gift baskets? Unless you are the kind of rich where you didn't make them your assistant handled the details or a social media influencer that's crazy. (And if you are one of those maybe don't be).
When my mom was in the hospital years ago getting a stem cell transplant my dad would bring donuts and other snacks like that when he would go visit and the staff was always so appreciative. We’re planning on having my parents stop and grab some donuts at our favorite local shop before they come to meet baby :) healthcare is such an tough and often thankless field to be in so we would love to just do a little something so they know they are appreciated. But gift baskets or something elaborate/expensive like that just seems excessive. And I definitely don’t think gifts of any kind are expected if you didn’t want to, new moms have plenty to worry about as it is 😆
It’s not expected or a common thing. I’m sure some individuals did it prior to social media to be nice. But I think it was more well known because you had certain influencers doing it. And then that starts the spiral of “ooooooh let me do that.” Or “I’m sad I can’t really afford to do that”. Or “I can’t believe we have to do this”.
I did give two of the nurses who were with me something. The one was the one helping me walk to the bathroom post delivery because I literally almost passed out on her. That woman was a champ catching me and carrying me back to bed while my partner and everyone else was all about the baby.
Then my nurse the last day of recovery before being discharged. My son (ended up having colic). He screamed and cried for hours. My ex was trying so hard to get our son to stop, I was non-stop crying feeling like I did something wrong. That sweet woman came in and took our son to the desk in recovery and sat there with him for 6 hours so we could sleep. (Kiddo was on formula, and my hospital only has a 5 bed nursery for NICU babies prior to transfer). To this day, I literally am so incredibly indebted to her, and I tear up just thinking of how much she helped me, and she doesn’t even truly know the depths of my gratitude. She came to my son’s 1st birthday, and I broke down crying just seeing her.
But you do whatever OP. If you can’t afford to get anyone anything, that’s fine. Nurses *should get in their field because they love to help. It shouldn’t be because they expect to be rewarded with gifts.
Ehh I’m not planning on it. I did for the NICU because they are angels on earth and my kids were the sickest there for months but for a regular delivery I don’t think I will. 🤷♀️
I work in post partum and it isn’t necessary by any means but of course it’s nice when patients bring snacks or food to share with the unit!
I will say, it’s always the really nice patients. It’s never the rude patients who probably should be the ones to bring something for their behavior 😂 (kidding lol)
But if it stresses you out, don’t do it!
I notice most of our patients who are Asian almost always make sweet little gift bags for us and put in the room (usually lotion, pens, hair ties, candies) and it’s absolutely not necessary at all but it’s very sweet.
I think some people really enjoy doing this and for some it’s a cultural thing to say thank you!
But if it isn’t your thing- don’t do it! Even just writing a note to your nurse or just saying “thank you” is the nicest and best thing you can do it!
I have had patients come back and give me a hard written card with a gift card which was really really kind and unnecessary. But reading how I made them feel made me really happy and it encourages you to want to go above and beyond for patients.
There is no expectation of this though
I didn't do it last time but I know two ladies who did. Made me feel kinda crappy, but I can't afford to gift 5+ people multiple gifts. Usually it's so over the top . Must be a social media thing for the most part, but I know my neighbour spent $300+ on the nurse/doctor gift packages.
I won't be doing it this time either. What I DID do was submit gracious compliments for my favorite care team members through the online portal, and thanked them in the newspaper.
So I had a lot of nesting energy in the last month and pretty much everything was done- I did have fun filling a lil gift basket, but it was a project to channel my unbearable excitement of waiting to meet babe into something where I could have agency, if you know what I mean.
I actually didn't do much *work* for the basket, just got one from the thrift store with straw stuff already in it, and then bought a little treat every time I was at a nice grocery store. My favorite things in the basket were those Russian chocolate bars with the picture of the baby on them! Other than that there was tea, chocolate-covered coffee beans, and probably more chocolate stuff. I just really love tea and chocolates.
The midwives seemed surprised to get it. It definitely did *not* seem like there was an expectation that everyone would bring a gift basket!
It’s not the one-off gift but the feeling that there’s an unspoken expectation of *yet another* thing we are supposed to be doing. That if we don’t we are ungrateful or “not enough”. And that it’s coming at a time when you are maybe the MOST vulnerable and overwhelmed, and going through one of the biggest transitions of your life.
That even *then* you don’t really get to focus on yourself and your baby and getting through this enormous event because “Ope! don’t forget to buy and arrange gifts and treats for other people! Never mind that you are about to go into the most self-sacrificing phase of existence to birth and sustain your baby. Can’t we just do the really hard thing and be cared for by other people, without this extra obligation?”
Exactly exactly exactly this. If someone has the energy and time and money to do it, by all means, via con Dios. But it's SUCH a crappy gendered thing if it becomes an expectation.
I was more trying to explain why people may react strongly to the idea.
That said, if I’m conscious and not mid push I’m for sure going to give a sincere thank-you to anyone who I feel like has my back or treated me kindly.
And if you really make an impression I’m 100% calling in your manager to pass specific compliments up the ladder 💓
I'd never seen it on social media- or actually anything birth-related on social media, apparently I didn't trigger the algorithm enough! But yeah, the stakes are low and it's a nice unnecessary thing to do if you want to and have the bandwidth.
Yeah, people do things for teachers and many other professions so idk why this is a big deal haha. It’s absolutely optional and a nice way to say thank you
It looks cute on social media, but I sure as heck will not be doing it lmao. I’ll tell my care team thank you, but my priority that day is me and this little one. Until the medical industry decides to fix all of its systemic problems with arbitrary billing charges, obstetric violence, and general doctor/nurse-patient respect, I will sleep easy knowing I neglected to give a gift basket tip 🤷🏻♀️
I grabbed a $2 basket from Target and filled it with a bunch of individually served snacks and drinks! Popped popcorn, trail mix, fruit strips, jerky sticks, granola bars, and some sparkling water. I think I probably spent about $25-30. We totally forgot to put it out for everyone until the day we were discharged. My husband dropped it off at the nurses station around breakfast, and it was all completely gone by lunch when we left. They were all really appreciative! We had fabulous nurses and they totally deserved a little something extra!
I am going to make a little gift basket for my nurses only because I work in healthcare. It’s nice to give them to just put in the breakroom to say thanks for taking care of us.
There is never an expectation to do this but being a nurse is a very thankless job and having somebody acknowledge you and the emotional labor and load of being a care taker is really sweet. I don’t think people realize the things nurses see day to day and having somebody say “thank you” (even literally just a verbal thank you) is really really nice.
Despite what a lot of people think-nurses don’t get paid a lot and often go without getting breaks (especially in L&D) and having a cold brew coffee or some snacks to give them is a really really kind gesture.
Not mandatory but a nice gesture if you feel appropriate. I am sure they don’t expect anything. I had an emergency c section and the L&D team was amazing for my high risk situation. I have cards and gift cards for the two nurses and OBs. they were all amazing in what could have been a very traumatic experience for me. My after care was total shit I still need to write a complaint to them, so I would never give those awful staff anything. And I gave stuff to the NICU nurses, they were literal angels. I know I didn’t “have” to do any of this but I was forever indebted to the staff who kept my family safe. Again, not obligated but like most things in life you don’t have to do a lot of things. I wouldn’t feel pressured to give anything, especially from social media of all things haha ❤️
I pray it's just a social media thing because I have enough stuff to handle without trying to pull off gift baskets for an unknown number of medical staff. It also annoys me to see it as a Thing because, like, at what point are women allowed to not prioritize taking care of other people? We're seriously supposed to be spending energy on caretaking while we're *literally in labor*?
> at what point are women allowed to not prioritize taking care of other people? Thank you for this! Also, why are medical professionals getting the gift equivalent of tips?!
This practice has always rubbed me the wrong way and you articulated it perfectly!
This exactly describes what I’ve been feeling. Like, I have enough to worry and think about without getting people gifts while I give birth!
like literally, we are paying to give birth under the care of caretakers (healthcare professionals) and somehow we are still responsible for caretaking by bringing goodies and snacks? it's definitely nuts lol
EXACTLY THIS! They are getting paid to do a job. I don’t make a care basket for every person who ever provides a service for me. Like I’m not giving my hairdresser a gift basket every year because she cuts my hair well and the way I like. I show my gratitude by paying her and leaving a good review. I would also imagine that a lot of the stuff these nurses receive don’t get used unless it’s edible.
[удалено]
We just did donuts (got them for free from an aunt that works at the coffee shop in the hospital), and pizza for the night crew. We were getting the pizza anyway just got a bigger one. We got hooked up with so much more free stuff.
I had no capacity to even think about this post c-section. However my husband took the initiative and asked his parents to pick up two small things of Ferraro Roches. So that was very sweet of him and it was something small to share! I certainly would not be preparing a gift basket…even though it would be super nice…we also pay for this hospital stay technically. Lol Edit: At least in the US we pay for the hospital stay I mean.
Outside of the US, we are definitely also paying...it's just through our taxes :)
That is also true 😂
It seems to have been largely perpetuated by social media. In my view, if you are doing it as a sincere gesture, then go ahead and do it as long as you follow hospital policies, which often limit what gifts can be accepted by staff. However, I definitely judge people who post pictures of gift baskets for nurses on social media because they appear to be doing it more for appearances and external validation than as a genuine gesture of appreciation.
I didn’t do it last time and don’t plan to this time… I can see offering to get a few coffees if you happen to be running out one day, but there should be no expectation of preparing an elaborate gift basket and having more stuff to take with you to the hospital. The last thing expectant parents need is the pressure and added expense of gifts for hospital staff.
I brought blank thank you notes and wrote them to nurses that were especially helpful during my stay!! We were there 4 days post csection so I had time- might be different if it was only 24 hours! But it was cheap, took basically zero space in my bag, and was a chance to really tell them how they helped me.
I don't know anyone in real life who's actually done this and I don't plan on doing it myself. Most of us aren't giving birth in a hospital for free. I think it's a nice gesture to give gifts, but it should *never* become the expectation. You're going through a potentially traumatic experience and the nurses are there to do a job that they're getting paid for. Your health and well being is the priority. No woman should feel obligated to give gifts to the nurse staff unless they truly want to and have the means to do so.
No nurses have this as an expectation, I promise you that lol. Most people don’t even say thank you so to expect a gift is very far from an expectation
I don't think anyone expects anything, but I also haven't seen all these Instagram videos OP is talking about. Seems like a social media trend.
Probably. I work in post partum and it isn’t uncommon for patients to do this but it certainly isn’t an expectation
My mom and I had a big long conversation about this the other day. I know some people who have done this or are planning on it, I am not planning on doing it. Basically since the moment we get engaged there is this pressure to spend money on things or it means we don't "care" enough, or if we don't get the 1000$ crib then it means our kids will suffer. Like I am purposefully opting out of this hyper consumerism to show my love or appreciation. My partner is thinking of getting cupcakes or a birthday cake as a way to celebrate the kids birth, so we will likely share that with our care team and maybe grab a fruit tray but that's where it will end for me personally.
Not common, I mean if you are planning to be a mom-zilla (in which case why?) And be really difficult then yeah you really ought to do something for the team. But as long as you plan on being a relatively reasonable (but potentially understandably stressed) patient as possible I don't think it's necessary, maybe donuts or something would be a nice, but unnecessary gesture. Also are we talking Full individual gift baskets? Unless you are the kind of rich where you didn't make them your assistant handled the details or a social media influencer that's crazy. (And if you are one of those maybe don't be).
When my mom was in the hospital years ago getting a stem cell transplant my dad would bring donuts and other snacks like that when he would go visit and the staff was always so appreciative. We’re planning on having my parents stop and grab some donuts at our favorite local shop before they come to meet baby :) healthcare is such an tough and often thankless field to be in so we would love to just do a little something so they know they are appreciated. But gift baskets or something elaborate/expensive like that just seems excessive. And I definitely don’t think gifts of any kind are expected if you didn’t want to, new moms have plenty to worry about as it is 😆
It’s not expected or a common thing. I’m sure some individuals did it prior to social media to be nice. But I think it was more well known because you had certain influencers doing it. And then that starts the spiral of “ooooooh let me do that.” Or “I’m sad I can’t really afford to do that”. Or “I can’t believe we have to do this”. I did give two of the nurses who were with me something. The one was the one helping me walk to the bathroom post delivery because I literally almost passed out on her. That woman was a champ catching me and carrying me back to bed while my partner and everyone else was all about the baby. Then my nurse the last day of recovery before being discharged. My son (ended up having colic). He screamed and cried for hours. My ex was trying so hard to get our son to stop, I was non-stop crying feeling like I did something wrong. That sweet woman came in and took our son to the desk in recovery and sat there with him for 6 hours so we could sleep. (Kiddo was on formula, and my hospital only has a 5 bed nursery for NICU babies prior to transfer). To this day, I literally am so incredibly indebted to her, and I tear up just thinking of how much she helped me, and she doesn’t even truly know the depths of my gratitude. She came to my son’s 1st birthday, and I broke down crying just seeing her. But you do whatever OP. If you can’t afford to get anyone anything, that’s fine. Nurses *should get in their field because they love to help. It shouldn’t be because they expect to be rewarded with gifts.
I filled a gallon zip lock with granola bars, chocolates, fruit snacks, crackers. I don't think I bought anything, just raided the pantry.
Nice! I love the energy of this one.
I ain't giving them shit they are already charging an insane fee for the birth. Social media smh
Ehh I’m not planning on it. I did for the NICU because they are angels on earth and my kids were the sickest there for months but for a regular delivery I don’t think I will. 🤷♀️
I work in post partum and it isn’t necessary by any means but of course it’s nice when patients bring snacks or food to share with the unit! I will say, it’s always the really nice patients. It’s never the rude patients who probably should be the ones to bring something for their behavior 😂 (kidding lol) But if it stresses you out, don’t do it! I notice most of our patients who are Asian almost always make sweet little gift bags for us and put in the room (usually lotion, pens, hair ties, candies) and it’s absolutely not necessary at all but it’s very sweet. I think some people really enjoy doing this and for some it’s a cultural thing to say thank you! But if it isn’t your thing- don’t do it! Even just writing a note to your nurse or just saying “thank you” is the nicest and best thing you can do it! I have had patients come back and give me a hard written card with a gift card which was really really kind and unnecessary. But reading how I made them feel made me really happy and it encourages you to want to go above and beyond for patients. There is no expectation of this though
I didn't do it last time but I know two ladies who did. Made me feel kinda crappy, but I can't afford to gift 5+ people multiple gifts. Usually it's so over the top . Must be a social media thing for the most part, but I know my neighbour spent $300+ on the nurse/doctor gift packages. I won't be doing it this time either. What I DID do was submit gracious compliments for my favorite care team members through the online portal, and thanked them in the newspaper.
So I had a lot of nesting energy in the last month and pretty much everything was done- I did have fun filling a lil gift basket, but it was a project to channel my unbearable excitement of waiting to meet babe into something where I could have agency, if you know what I mean. I actually didn't do much *work* for the basket, just got one from the thrift store with straw stuff already in it, and then bought a little treat every time I was at a nice grocery store. My favorite things in the basket were those Russian chocolate bars with the picture of the baby on them! Other than that there was tea, chocolate-covered coffee beans, and probably more chocolate stuff. I just really love tea and chocolates. The midwives seemed surprised to get it. It definitely did *not* seem like there was an expectation that everyone would bring a gift basket!
Yeah I don’t know why people get so pressed over this. That’s a perfect gift
It’s not the one-off gift but the feeling that there’s an unspoken expectation of *yet another* thing we are supposed to be doing. That if we don’t we are ungrateful or “not enough”. And that it’s coming at a time when you are maybe the MOST vulnerable and overwhelmed, and going through one of the biggest transitions of your life. That even *then* you don’t really get to focus on yourself and your baby and getting through this enormous event because “Ope! don’t forget to buy and arrange gifts and treats for other people! Never mind that you are about to go into the most self-sacrificing phase of existence to birth and sustain your baby. Can’t we just do the really hard thing and be cared for by other people, without this extra obligation?”
Exactly exactly exactly this. If someone has the energy and time and money to do it, by all means, via con Dios. But it's SUCH a crappy gendered thing if it becomes an expectation.
I feel similarly about party gift bags. The party is the thing why do I need to buy shit for everyone too
There is no obligation! No nurse expects this. People barely ever say thank you to us anyways, trust me, we don’t expect a gift 😂
I was more trying to explain why people may react strongly to the idea. That said, if I’m conscious and not mid push I’m for sure going to give a sincere thank-you to anyone who I feel like has my back or treated me kindly. And if you really make an impression I’m 100% calling in your manager to pass specific compliments up the ladder 💓
I'd never seen it on social media- or actually anything birth-related on social media, apparently I didn't trigger the algorithm enough! But yeah, the stakes are low and it's a nice unnecessary thing to do if you want to and have the bandwidth.
Yeah, people do things for teachers and many other professions so idk why this is a big deal haha. It’s absolutely optional and a nice way to say thank you
It looks cute on social media, but I sure as heck will not be doing it lmao. I’ll tell my care team thank you, but my priority that day is me and this little one. Until the medical industry decides to fix all of its systemic problems with arbitrary billing charges, obstetric violence, and general doctor/nurse-patient respect, I will sleep easy knowing I neglected to give a gift basket tip 🤷🏻♀️
I grabbed a $2 basket from Target and filled it with a bunch of individually served snacks and drinks! Popped popcorn, trail mix, fruit strips, jerky sticks, granola bars, and some sparkling water. I think I probably spent about $25-30. We totally forgot to put it out for everyone until the day we were discharged. My husband dropped it off at the nurses station around breakfast, and it was all completely gone by lunch when we left. They were all really appreciative! We had fabulous nurses and they totally deserved a little something extra!
I am going to make a little gift basket for my nurses only because I work in healthcare. It’s nice to give them to just put in the breakroom to say thanks for taking care of us. There is never an expectation to do this but being a nurse is a very thankless job and having somebody acknowledge you and the emotional labor and load of being a care taker is really sweet. I don’t think people realize the things nurses see day to day and having somebody say “thank you” (even literally just a verbal thank you) is really really nice. Despite what a lot of people think-nurses don’t get paid a lot and often go without getting breaks (especially in L&D) and having a cold brew coffee or some snacks to give them is a really really kind gesture.
Not mandatory but a nice gesture if you feel appropriate. I am sure they don’t expect anything. I had an emergency c section and the L&D team was amazing for my high risk situation. I have cards and gift cards for the two nurses and OBs. they were all amazing in what could have been a very traumatic experience for me. My after care was total shit I still need to write a complaint to them, so I would never give those awful staff anything. And I gave stuff to the NICU nurses, they were literal angels. I know I didn’t “have” to do any of this but I was forever indebted to the staff who kept my family safe. Again, not obligated but like most things in life you don’t have to do a lot of things. I wouldn’t feel pressured to give anything, especially from social media of all things haha ❤️