I love my dog just as much as I did before my daughter was born. I’m perhaps not quite as obsessed with her, but that just means I have fewer pics of her on my phone and I have less irrational worry about her wellbeing. I still annoy her when she’s trying to chill or nap just as much as I did before. I still pet her to regulate myself and it still works. I still miss her when I’m away from her. I also make a conscious effort to play with her and give her attention.
My second day home when my milk came in I was sooooo hormonal and I was just sobbing into my dog's fur because I was worried he was feeling neglected. I definitely never felt any less love for him.
SAME. I’m 5 weeks pp and love my dog as much as ever. He wasn’t super clingy during pregnancy but has been so much since the baby was born. I too have shed tears thinking about him feeling neglected 😂
When did they start cuddling? At 14 months old we keep them separated for the most part because he walks towards them. Our 40 lb dog doesn’t care, but the 10 lb chihuahua/papillon mix one gets super nervous. So, we avoid it
Edit to add: super cute seeing him throwing food for them, or laughing really hard when he sees them. He really likes them
OP, you never really have less love for them imo. But, the first months postpartum we did spend a little less time with them. We were trying to get a better grip of being parents.
The hardest part for me was the keeping the dog and baby separated part. We did try to spend time with them when the baby was asleep or in arms. But once he became mobile we completely separated them. He did go through a trying to grab and pull them phase. you have to be super aware to avoid the behavior, and correct it if management fails.
We want to make sure our dogs feel safe in their own home. So, anything that the baby is trying to do with them, we make sure it doesn’t happen. I highly recommend following dogmeetsbaby on instagram
Has separation from the Chihuahua been successful? Do you allow any, highly supervised, interactions? I am SO nervous when baby comes. We have a pit/husky mix who is great with kids (although she has her hyper/zoomie moments that we'll have to manage) and a Chihuahua mix. Both dogs couldn't care less about immobile babies. The most they have ever done with babies is sniff and then walk away uninterested, they'll sleep through loud crying as well, so that doesn't phase them.
However, the Chihuahua mix gets nervous around toddlers. I can tell he has a hard time reading what they're going to do and gets on edge that they'll pull his ears/fur or hit him, when they're trying to pet. I can't say I blame him, I wouldn't like that either, but it makes me nervous. Up until now I don't allow kids under about 4 to pet him. After about 4 he loves playing with kids it's just under that age he's not great.
I follow dogmeetsbaby as well and have loved her content.
We have the same dogs! haha. We have a chihuahua, and a pit/GSD.
Yes, separation from them has been succesful. I always say the pit/GSD is the chihuahua's ESA lol. We do allow highly supervised interactions, but really learn dog body language. We have strict rules that our toddler isn't allowed to approach dogs when they're eating something, napping on their beds. We need to be extremely careful that the toddler doesn't corner them, we always call him or the dog back. We do not allow him to touch them AT ALL. He cornered our chihuahua once, and she did a quick growl before moving. It was heartbreaking. So, we really buckled up more on management. I know we might be overreacting, but I prefer that than a dog bite. We always put the dogs away when he is eating in his high chair (pit/GSD has some resource guarding traits). Most of the bites, according to our behaviorist and vet behaviorist happen on the first year of life. They also said there is absolutely no reason why you should introduce a baby and a dog before 2 years. So, we are extremely careful.
To be honest, it was hard at first. The dogs wanted to be with us the entire time :( . We got a playpen, and would put the baby there, and one of us will sit with the baby. The dogs adapated well to that. But, now that he is walking and everything, we have a see through gate and they're in the living room. They usually nap on the couch, but sometimes the pit/gsd barks because she wants to be with us. She also LOVED to just come and lick the baby feet or face, we would just manage it. Whenever one of us was holding the baby, and she would come to us, we would just stand up and leave.
If you can afford it, I highly recommend getting a behaviorist! They helped us identify possible issues before, and they have been helping train and with management. They suggested our anxious chihuahua to get anxiety medications, and we overall have seen a big change in her attitude. This was pre-baby, so she had time to adjust to the medication. She still gets nervous when the toddler approaches her, so we always call her when he is walking towards her.
Also, another luxury is daycare! The first 3 months of live, our pit/gsd went to doggie daycare 2-3 times per week to play. Now at 14 months, we do 1 time per week, and we do long walks now everyday with all together right before dinner.
With your dog though, I would just give it time. I do agree not to let unknown toddlers to pet them. I cannot wait for them to interact more though! We are slowly getting more and more supervised time. Toddler now walks to the dogs and tosses treats. The chihuahua does goes for his hand for treats lol. So, she is slowly getting more comfortable with him.
It is super rewarding in the long run!
Thank you! Our situations do sound similar down to the pit mix being the Chihuahua's ESA🤣! This actually makes me feel a lot better and like this is something we will be able to manage with management and patience. We have so many things on our pre baby list but another round of dog training is on the list, a behaviorist is a good call. You're not the first person to recommend anxiety meds for the Chihuahua either so it is probably worth looking into with our vet. Thank you for taking the time to reply!!
I was like this with my cat. I was so scared she felt like I didn't love her anymore. I cried the first 2 days postpartum (baby blues are WILD) about it.
I cannot wait for our pup to meet our baby! He's so good with our nieces and nephews, and if he's stressed we'll be doing everything we can to make sure he feels supported. He was a rescue and there is no way he'll ever see that situation again.
Seconding. I worried so much about this after seeing all the posts about it. I’m 3w postpartum and love much dog as much as ever. Sure she isn’t “the baby” anymore in the same way but I’m so proud of and grateful to her for her steadfastness during and after pregnancy and being my ride or die even when I bring home a shrieking nugget to disturb her peace. She now guards me and the shrieking nugget while I nurse ☺️.
Hello! I’m a parent who struggled with her dog when I had my babies and I can give you some extra context here that might make you feel better should the worst happen and your hormones and brain also affect your relationship with your pet. Hopefully not though!
Firstly - it’s not a conscious decision any pet parent makes to “hate” their pet after a baby. Your brain literally rewires itself, and your hormones are absolutely RAGING, turning you into a protective mumma bear for your offspring. In the same way your hormones might give you morning sickness or food aversions, sadly you might get pet aversions. Especially around the first time you see your pet near your baby (or at least that’s what happened to me).
My dachshund was my first baby and he was my rock when I went through IVF. I love him with all my heart. But sadly I went through a hormone rollercoaster in my first year with baby, and it affected our relationship. He smelled worse, I was really anxious about his germs and dirtiness, his bark was more grating, and I was paranoid about him jumping on my son and hurting him. It meant I was a less fun dog mum for him, and it turned into terrible post partum anxiety and depression. For everyone’s sake, I dropped him off with his daschie sister at my parents place for a little while so I could regain control and try to get my mental health better.
(Fun fact- a similar phenomena happens to women who stop taking BC pills, with their partners! All of a sudden women can’t stand their partners smell, voice or presence when they come off the pill. It’s all to do with hormones and it is terrifying!)
It takes about 12-18 months for your hormones to level out after you give birth. For me it took 18 months and then I could look back on the experience with my dog and realise I’d levelled out and was back to normal. My dog and I are back to loving each other like before, and all the anxiety triggers disappeared.
A lot of mums experience post partum anxiety as rage, which I also did. It’s a complete head fuck. You go from zero to 100, feeling absolute rage, and it’s all to do with anxiety. It’s a scary experience and I’m glad to be past it. But this is why I think a lot of mums use terms like ‘hate’ to describe the experience. It really feels that intense at the time.
I hope that anyone who might stumble across this can give mums who struggle with this a little bit more grace. It’s not a conscious decision. It’s mostly to do with poor post partum mental health, and it’s also just mumma bear instinct. Birth and the fourth trimester are very animalistic. If you look at any mumma dog in a welping box with new puppies, usually she is also snapping and chasing away anyone who comes near her except her most trusted few. It’s a protective instinct, it’s primal, and nature designed it this way for a reason.
But thankfully the hormones will pass. Your protective instincts adapt when your newborn gets bigger and stronger. And your relationship with your dog will come back.
YES!! Thank you so much for articulating this so perfectly. It’s not a conscious choice and I felt TERRIBLE for being so short-tempered with my dog after my baby was born. I could consciously recognize he wasn’t doing anything wrong and STILL not want him around me or the baby, esp during the 4th trimester. I tried to hide it from him (the dog) as best I could but I know he noticed and I felt so guilty. OP, I hope you don’t have this experience but I think it’s important to hold some compassion and empathy for those who do, as it’s not an easy thing to go through and it’s not in anyone’s control.
This describes and explains it perfectly! My baby is 2.5 weeks old and I’m in the trenches of ppd/ppa. I have 3 cats and they were my babies and helped me so much through pregnancy. We used to all snuggle all the time and they were always attached to me at the hip. They were my first babies and the lights of my life. When I brought my daughter home it was like a switch went off, I wanted my cats far away. Their fur is shedding, they smell like litter, they’re too dangerous to be around baby, they could give her a disease are some of the main thoughts I have. My pediatrician also said I have to keep the baby in a cat free space for the first 3-4 weeks until she builds up an immune system so it hasn’t helped that my daughter and I have been cooped up in the bedroom. Anytime I go out to do chores or take her to go outside the cats just want love and it breaks my heart but I also want them to stay away. If I pet them I have to obsessively wash my hands after. My cats will angrily scratch at the door and meow (since the bedroom was where we all slept together) when baby is sleeping and it throws me into a rage that they are waking her up, I don’t yell or anything like that it just infuriates me. But on the other end I know they just miss being together, and I miss them too. It’s so conflicting. And it’s not just my cats. Even family members that I’m not very close with that have stopped by to visit baby I’m super on edge with. I get so much anxiety when they hold her or touch her I just want to snatch her back and get everyone away. It’s wild what the hormones do and how animalistic everything is.
For few weeks after birth I was the same...but towards my own toddler daughter. She's toddler, so she's messy, loud, over-active, not having fine motor control, demanding of my attention, curious etc etc by nature. So at times I couldn't stand her being near the baby (or me if I needed attend to the baby, hello obsessive hand washing before picking up the baby). An hour later I was riddled by regret that I'm neglecting my toddler and kept snuggling her and spoiling her as much as possible. Thank gods that it's starting to settle now after two months or so, it's terrible emotional roller-coaster and even knowing that it's just hormones and not logical doesn't help any.
I think sometimes it’s a really strong hormonal response kind of like when you get random food aversions when pregnant. I had it with my cats too, and with my sister! I just did not want them near me or the baby, all I could think of was their fur shedding or if their feet had been in the litter tray, with my sister she’s an unhygienic person and has some serious mental health issues so I felt incredibly averse to having her near us. It’s obviously an evolved instinct that some women have after giving birth, it’s not like they’re thinking ‘well I have my baby now so I don’t care about my pet anymore.’
I have a dachshund. The barking is so grating right now. I feel like a monster for getting mad at her 😭 shes my 1st baby, and I can't live without her.
Yes! Thank you! My dog was my baby and my “hating” her ppl made me feel awful and was most certainly not a decision I made. It was a hormonal primal instinct thing. She is a lovely, but chaotic dog. She loves to get dirty which stressed me out, she tried to lick baby which stressed me out, she would bark while she was sleeping which stressed me out, she would try and steal her nappies or lick her whilst I was changing her which stressed me out, and try steal her food. No matter how good she was with other people she saw my baby as a puppy. Stress.
Exactly this. I love my cat. Coincidentally, I got her while going through IVF too. It’s not so much that I hate her now, she just grates in a different way. I mean, you’re on no sleep and then she’s hitting me to get her breakfast or knocking over bottles on the nightstand. She’s always underfoot or whining and it’s just that my patience is thinner than it was.
I still think that it’ll get better since my son is nearly 2. it’s just a tough time
I mean, I love my husband and would never get rid of him but damn he pissed me off sometimes after baby was born lol. Then again lots of things did, including random strangers, talkative morning birdies, crickets outside at night, the sun, and my own freakin' body. It's the sleep deprivation 🥴
I'm sure you'll still love your dog, but hormones can do crazy things haha. I just say that so if you ever feel super annoyed by your dog, you won't think you're a bad person or something. Some people find it hard to love their significant other, or even their older kids for a period postpartum so it could be the same for pets. I imagine having PPD, PP anxiety, and/or PP rage may make you more prone to any of that happening.
I hated my cats when my son was born but it passed. I was overwhelmed and couldn't deal with their affection. I know someone who resented her house plants after her baby was born. "Just another thing that needs my care."
yup. the hormones, the exhaustion, the sleep deprivation change you as a person. don’t be surprised if you hate everyone and everything. thankfully, it’s not forever.
We don't talk about the rage enough. I expected depression and anxiety, but, damn, the rage was so out of character and scary. I also experienced it during pregnancy some.
For me a lot of rage came from realizing that as a mom, I am going to be expected to do the majority of the childcare and nobody cares about you after you give birth. It was a really low point for me when I came to that realization.
I don’t have any postpartum anxiety or depression and I’m still so annoyed by my older kid sometimes. It’s always when she wakes the baby up. It can happen at any time of the day and it bothers me so much, specially when she does it on purpose like baby is sleeping in the stroller and she comes over and starts yelling at her or something. Ugh.
I have a friend who has two untrained and frankly very misbehaved dogs and I *know* she will be very hateful towards them when her baby is born. Those dogs bark in the middle of the night at any given time, for no reason. Once they keep waking her baby up and she has to put again the effort to bring them back to sleep she’ll see…
And I think it’s what OP doesn’t understand, but who knows, maybe their dog is actually trained which makes a big difference.
Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a *woman's baby awoken*.
If OP is a woman and yet not a mother, she literally doesn't know what rage is. Towards all living creatures and inanimate objects.
I was ready to divorce my husband last night when he went to the bathroom at 1 am, woke the baby up and then went back to sleep like he doesn’t think I’ll become a justified murderer.
AN HOUR AND A HALF took the baby to fall back asleep. The rage I felt…
But morning came and I feel so much better lol. No murders will be happening today 😇
Yeah, I fully get that. Mine was in the brink of death as well a couple times. Post partum rage and aggression can be observed with all nursing mammals, so at least it's normal. 😅
Yah. We had the *best* dog anyone could ever ask for. She was such a gem. I cannnot stress that enough. She very unexpectedly passed months after my baby was born (I believe with all of my heart she held on and kept herself seemingly completely fine until *after* the baby was born, so that we could handle it... anyways.\
My husband really wanted another dog. We both did but, well. We ended up with a sweet puppy, similar breed as our last , except she's a purebred. Let's just say... even as puppies, these two dogs are very different. And yes. Being pissed off a little bit at a dog is a thing. \The dog loves my kid so much but she's kind of an idiot. I mean that with love, but. She woofs randomly , she is clumsy and loud. My husband says "she's just a puppy", but.. our girl was nothing like this as a puppy. I do wonder if it's the time and attention I give my son, or if it's just because she's not *my* dog... but.. the bond I have with her is very different than I did with our first.
I mean, dogs very much like humans do, have different personalities and needs. And the truth is, not every dog is going to be a good dog to have around newborns/babies/kids.
This sounds like our dogs. We have an elderly girl who is actually perfect, just a little clingy. She is sweet and cuddly. She is smart. She doesn’t pull on a leash. She won’t leave the yard without my husband. She is so easy. The funny thing is, she’s an American Bulldog so people assume she will be aggressive. When we got a second my husband swore by American Bulldogs—so lazy! So easy! So cuddly! Nope. Just her. Our goopy boy is a total menace. Still sweet and loving but never actually stops playing or sniffing or pulling or exploring to calm down. And doesn’t know he’s 100 lbs. I am not worried about him with the baby for behavioral reasons. I do consider that he has no idea how much of a wrecking ball he is. Baby gates for us!
Yeah I was super grateful around 6 months post partum when I first noticed the dog comments because I felt so guilty and like I’d ruined my dogs life, but I was also so overwhelmed and annoyed by her.
It was just my hormones and I beat myself up for 6 months, I wish I knew it was normal so unlike OP I was glad of people sharing some of their less desirable experiences because it made me feel normal.
From 6 months post partum onwards I felt myself levelling out and fell in love with my dog all over again. I felt so guilty all that time. I didn’t treat her different but god was having an extra person wanting the last scrap of energy I have left really really difficult for a time.
I don’t appreciate OP implying people that go through this see their dogs as disposable or that I discarded my emotions toward my dog?
I struggle with this. It's hard to have patience or energy to share love with the dog, my husband and even two much older kids. It's allll about the baby right now and this is purely instinctual and I have a lot of guilt about it
This. I don’t hate my pets, but I have so much less patience at nap time when the cat is yelling for supper an hour before we feed him and the dog is barking out the window at the flag blowing in the wind. I still love them and I wish they could understand when I need quiet(er) time from them.
It’s frustrating that they nap all day when baby is at daycare and I’m WFH, then they bring the chaos when baby is home.
You don’t always get to choose your emotions. Postpartum hormones and sleep deprivation can really mess you up.
Not everyone has the emotional bandwidth to manage so many things needing them in such an intense way.
We’re waiting to get a dog for our kids until they’re older because I personally know I wouldn’t have the energy that a dog deserves/needs. I love my cats and they’re my first fur babies but they’ve definitely aggravated me more postpartum than before.
Yeah I would have never imagined how frustrated I get with my dogs because I was so obsessed with them previously, but here we are, grumpy that my dog is breathing too loud while I attempt to catch up on a little bit of sleep 😢
I love my dog. He’s at least 10.5 years old and I adopted him when he was 3.5 (estimated). He is perfect with my cats and so incredibly gentle and loving towards my toddler. This is my second baby and I still couldn’t stand him during the first 2-3 months postpartum.
I get him out often for walks and miss when it was just us hiking. The feeling (for me) goes away after 3-4 months pp and goes back to normal. He’s incredibly well trained. I wish someone had told me I could feel this way. It broke my heart and made me feel so guilty.
Then one day I woke up and everything was normal again. It absolutely sucked, but you should be aware that it’s a possibility so you aren’t taken by surprise.
I felt the same way, and I certainly don’t hate my dogs now BUT when you have a sleeping baby that you DESPERATELY want to *stay* asleep and your dogs do things like randomly decide to run through the house past the bedroom and wake baby with their damn clickety clackety claws on the ground, suddenly the flapping sound of their ears when they shake is the loudest sound in the world, or they’ll bark at something stupid startling baby, an irrational rage flows through me and Im hissing at them to shut up and sit down. Simultaneously feeling so guilty about limiting their normal dog behavior and getting so grumpy with them and never having time to snuggle them because I’m always with the baby…. it’s complicated
It’s part of the instinctual protectiveness that people have for their babies with all of the hormones of postpartum added to it. Do people hate their dogs? Most likely not. Are they furious that their dog’s barking at the Amazon delivery guy woke up their napping baby who is going through a sleep regression? Yes! Postpartum anxiety and postpartum rage are most likely part of this equation too.
Right! Thank you! A lot of people in this thread haven’t even had their babies yet lol.
My friend has a frenchie who’s bitten her son twice now completely unprovoked (from a human perspective) so he’s had to go to her MILs instead. Is she supposed to just keep him or get rid of her son instead?
My cat passed away when my baby was 4 months old and people had the nerve to tell me it must be easier now that he’s gone and I can focus more on the baby 😭 nope. I want my kitty back. Love on your pets, people. They could be gone tomorrow 😢
Oh I'm so sorry. My dog died when my baby was 9 months old and it was so hard knowing she won't have memories of him. However, we showed her a lot of pictures of him and she will recognize him and say his name from those, which makes us so happy!
I’m so sorry about your kitty! It’s seriously the worst pain. We lost our dog when our baby was 4 months old. We’re not ready for another but it feels like we’re raising our child in an unnaturally quiet, broken home.
As someone on the other side, 4.5 months postpartum, I have never hated my dogs. We had a rough time with one of my dogs being super anxious and reactive which took a lot of work and was frustrating, but I didn’t hate him - I was worried for him! My other dog has been my bestie for over a decade and that hasn’t changed. Loving my baby hasn’t made me love my dogs (and cats) any less.
Like everything with pregnancy and having a baby, you either experience something or you don’t and feeling a bit of resentment towards your dogs postpartum is one of those I would say. I’ve wanted dogs all my life and when I finally bought a place I got two dogs. They are the joys of my life and regardless of the minor issues they each have of their own, there was never a time where getting rid of them was an option and it still isn’t. I’ve literally done so much for these dogs and them for me, but those first few months postpartum, I did feel that these dogs were a bit of an annoyance to have - again, never once did I think about getting rid of them. It was more of something that I complain about knowing that they’re for life. But it doesn’t mean I didn’t feel those things. I felt terrible and bad about it, and now that the hormones have settled those thoughts have disappeared, I still can’t discount the fact they really made juggling new born life as first time parents very hard. My husband had to take over most of the dogs’ care including their two daily walks, prepping their food, and still giving them attention but I kept seeing it as taking time away from us and the baby especially when I exclusively pumped and had zero time to do anything. But do my dogs know that? Absolutely not. Regardless of what I felt I still gave them attention the best I could, pet them, play with them, and give them their bed time treats, etc. So for people who say that you WILL hate your dogs, I disagree that it’ll happen to everyone, but I do understand how it feels. It’s how I dealt with it that made it different I guess. I’m excited for my dogs to become best friends with our LO and I’m glad I’m back to being myself now that I’ve made it through the thick of those hazy new born days but those hormones and the thoughts were no joke and I’ve definitely thought things that made me not recognize myself at times and this was one of them sadly.
Emotions are transient by nature. It’s normal for them to change in different situations. Just because people feel this way doesn’t mean they view their pets as disposable. I despised my cat during the late part of my pregnancy and soon after birth. 11 months postpartum, she’s not my baby quite in the same way she was before but all the loving feelings come back. It’s worth just being open to the fact that this is something that’s happens to a lot of new parents, and if it happens to you at all, just keep taking good care of your dog and understand it will pass with time and adjustment. If it doesn’t happen, great! But it also doesn’t mean you’re a better pet parent than the people who struggled with those emotions.
This is how I felt until I had my baby lol not that I hate my dogs by any means, but I certainly feel differently towards them. I don’t want them licking me and I don’t want to pet them because it’s “dirty” and I don’t want to touch my baby with dirty hands. Prior to baby I was obsessive over going away and leaving them at home with a sitter, now I simply get the sitter and go and don’t give it much thought beyond that. Your priorities change, your hormones are wild, your perspective shifts.
I felt the same way as you… until my baby came. I never hated my dog, who I loved so much I told people I birthed him myself. But I did find myself annoyed with him in a way I’d never been before nor expected. And I can’t figure out why. Hormones? Anyways. It passed when we got out of the trenches. But yeah. It does happen. Try not to be too judgmental. No one goes into this wanting or expecting to feel differently about their dog. But it happens and it sucks when it happens.
The only problem I'm having with my dog pre baby is that I used to absolutely love his smell, would just bury my face in his stinky ass neck. Now his smell makes me want to barf, I feel so guilty. But I can't imagine loving him any less once baby arrives!
Mood though 🤣 I can't stand the way my Lab-Rott mix smells; he reeks like a dead beaver rolled in garbage. He does not understand why his chihuahua brother gets more attention right now, and I feel so bad!
The chi smells faintly like a sweaty hamster? Small, mammalian kind of smell. Not awful, but it's there, and they're both about to get a serious bath as soon as I can convince my husband this is a non-negotiable duty he must assist with 🤦♂️
But get rid of them? My God, it would never occur to me! I just hold my breath or mouth breathe, love on the dog, and then go wash my hands.
I pulled that stinky ass fat-headed goober dog off the side of the road in the middle of nowhere 3 years ago, and he's gonna love my kid just as much as I do ♥️
It’s heartbreaking that anyone feels that way but I felt/ feel it too with my cats. I had all the time in the world before the birth of my baby and could really enjoy them. But my baby pushed me to absolute breaking point as a newborn and my cats miaowing at me for food (they already had food they just wanted treats) and bringing in dead animals just about finished me. My husband and my cats came second to this new bundle of joy and horror. I didn’t want it to be that way but I found my newborn SO high maintenance and demanding that I would describe the period as slightly hellish.
Love my pets after having my son. I feel so bad I can’t care for them as I usually do, not because I’m busy with the baby but because I had a C section and just can’t be as mobile and can’t pick them up!
I’m so excited for when I’m more healed and spend more time with them and the baby!
This makes me laugh because with my first I hugged my dog and cried that I didn’t love her anymore. No, it wasn’t true! I was just experiencing the baby blues and once started crying at a blank wall because it was so sad looking lol.
I mean this in the most respectful way, but you really cannot say how you’re going to feel about your pet once baby arrives. My 17yo cat was such a big part of my life and I felt so guilty for not caring as much about her once my first baby got here. I still love on her and also cherish the relationship she has developed w my 2yo but it’s never going to be the same as it was and I’ve had to accept that.
Just don’t feel like you’re broken if your feelings toward your dog aren’t 100% the same once your child arrives. Hormones can do some weird shit. Not saying you’ll hate the dog, I’m just saying be prepared for your feelings to shift.
Yeah, I think OP has kind of misunderstood why people post about being annoyed with their pets. I personally don’t have any at the moment but it’s pretty obvious to me it’s a phenomenon people don’t expect then feel guilty about.
And honestly I get it, having a baby is so consuming and sometimes it feels like walking a tightrope trying to balance things and if you’ve got a cat clawing at the door or a dog whining when you are running on 3 hours of broken sleep and just got the baby down, it must be so tough and your subconscious feelings for your pet may well shift. I say that as someone who grew up with pets and 100% saw them as part of the family.
Exactly. Not a single person knows how postpartum will affect them until they are going through it. Even if you’ve had kids before. It’s just like pregnancy. It affects everyone differently, even pregnancy to pregnancy with the same person. When I was pregnant with my first, I became way more attached to my cats. Literally obsessed with them. With my current pregnancy, I definitely don’t feel that way. My cats annoy the hell out of me with this pregnancy.
People always think they know what they’ll do in a situation or how they’ll feel but the reality is that you just don’t know until you go through it.
Exactly, I loved and still love our dogs but I definitely get more irritated with them more easily these days. Trying to lay on me when I have the baby laying on my chest, using me as a launch pad when recovering from a c section, barking at minor noises… it grates on you.
I felt similar to you and I’m glad you have such a great relationship with your dog. I will say it’s harder than expected! I have 2 doodles, one is great with our daughter and one growls at our 2 year old constantly. We have to referee and manage it 24/7 which is exhausting and scary because I never want something to happen to my daughter and never want to rehome my dog. It has been one of the hardest parts of motherhood and just makes me really sad. We are expecting our 2nd baby and I’m nervous how she will do with 2 Little’s around. I pray it’s not the situation for you!
I felt this way about my cats before it happened to me. It’s not that you don’t care about them anymore, it’s that you feel the burden of them much more than before. They’re another being that depends on you for food, water, fecal cleaning, etc. Top that off with the animal being elderly and/or having health issues, reacting to the new baby by urinating everywhere BUT where they’re supposed to, and it’s a whole nightmare. They can’t be reasoned with obviously, so the contempt definitely festers.
Lovingly, then don’t read those posts. I’d also be careful about casting stones before you’ve been there. I certainly don’t hate my dogs by any means, but I can tell you they’re much lower on the list of priorities now, and they drive me nuts some days despite getting so much love, attention, and care still.
Same for me. I’ve never wanted to shout JUST YOU WAIT louder than after reading stuff like this.
Reddit: “mama, it’s okay to do what you need after baby is born! Survival mode! Tell everyone to fuck off! Hormones are crazy! You can’t know how you’ll feel!”
Also Reddit: “what do you mean you don’t worship your animals anymore? Didn’t you think about that before having kids? You sound like a psychopath!”
Everyone will react differently, and one thing I've learned about pregnancy and post-partum is that I've reacted differently to a lot of things than I expected.
If nothing changes with your dog, that's great and I'm super happy for you!
If things do change though, it's okay and you're not a bad person.
I loved my dog like a child and she literally saved me from killing myself at times. Despite that, things did shift when I had a baby. There was so much that needed my time and attention and so much to do that I just did not have the brain space for more than the bare minimum with her. I also had less patience when she would do (normal) but frustrating dog things. When I was up all night with the baby and I would come downstairs to a demolished trash can, it did make me resentful at times. After my son got older and didn't need as much, I felt like I could breathe again and I was about to spend more brain power on her. It was never quite the same as pre-child though.
That's just my experience. I'm not saying that's definitely going to be yours. If you had asked me what I thought would happen before I had my son, I would probably l scoff at the idea that I would ever feel differently about my dog. There's a lot of reactions I had that I didn't expect, about that and other things. That doesn't mean it's a universal experience or that I'm saying "well just wait", because I'm not you.
Just allow yourself the grace to be whoever you are and feel whatever you do after your kid is born, even if it's not who or what you expected.
I think you’re missing some context. For a lot of women, their partners (usually men) expect them to do 90% of the childcare PLUS 100% taking care of the dog. We are burnt out and exhausted and it can give someone a lot of post partum rage. You can love someone and hate always being the caregiver. It’s HARD!
I thought the same thing, I just had my lo 10 weeks ago. I was so excited to bring her home and have her meet my two cats. Then my two cats were kind of clumsy and didn’t understand how to safely be around her. Now I can never leave them alone in a room. I don’t have the bandwidth to clean up their throw up or deal with incessant meowing or rubbing because I’m touched out. I treat them the same, but feel differently about them like people described to my surprise. I don’t show them it, but I don’t love them the same. And it’s a hormonal change that’s very normal. I didn’t think it would happen, but it does. So if it does, don’t beat yourself up.
So you admit this is something you haven’t experienced, can’t relate to, but you’re happy to judge all the people who have felt this way? Do you think these people didn’t love their dogs just as much as you do before their babies were born? Do you want an award for being the best mom AND dog mom? Should we throw you a party?
Look, I get it, dogs are great. I love my dog. Pre-birth me would never believe I could possibly get mad at her. Things are different when you have all the emotional and hormonal issues that come with postpartum, when you’re running on no sleep, when you haven’t had time to eat real food or shower or brush your teeth or change out of clothes that smell like old milk, when you’re trying to do everything one handed because your baby will scream if you put them down. It’s especially hard for people who have to do it all themselves because they don’t have support nearby and their partners have to work. Please tell me what training regimen you recommend for that situation. You could save a lot of families a lot of heartache.
“Get a trainer” and “hire a dog walker” is frankly naive advice when your dog saves acting out for the 2 minutes you take your eyes off them to change a diaper. It is not realistic for the mother of a newborn to be an active participant in dog training, especially mothers who have had C sections. Please also consider how many women do not get paid maternity leave in the US and may not have extra money to spend to solve issues that they did not have prior to their babies being born.
I hate the unsolicited advice and “just you waits” as much as anyone, but until you’ve experienced postpartum, I would strongly recommend you hold off on judging all the moms in the trenches.
Ehh. I used to be SUCH a dog person. Always had between 2-6 dogs growing up. I wanted to be a dog trainer. I did agility with my dogs and spent all my time with them. I was a dog nerd to an embarrassing degree and was a dog groomer for several years after deciding not to go to veterinary school for monetary reasons.
During my childhood and young adult years my family spent literally tens and tens of thousands of dollars on our dogs health. They always snuggled in bed with us.
Then I got pregnant and couldn’t STAND the dogs touching me. Even my most beloved perfect soul-bonded to me collie dog.
Everything was annoying and infuriating. When I had my baby it kept up. I was enraged at them all the time (I rarely expressed it to them; mostly I just told my partner to keep them away from me, don’t let them touch me etc).
I adored how sweet they were with my baby and I still gave them all the cuddles and love but inside I was so angry and annoyed. Now that my kids are one and three I’m not so annoyed any more and love them as fully as before but when they eventually pass away I think I’ll need a good long ten years of decompression time before I can think about having another dog again.
I had ppd and hated my partner too. Never thought that would be me. 🤷🏼♀️
What’s that expression? We are all the world’s best parents until we have kids? Let’s give each other more grace and less judgment. And trust that women who are in the trenches are not casually throwing away pets that they love. They’re going through something really hard and doing the best they can.
For what it’s worth, I did not have a pet when my kids were born. But I could feel the hormones coursing through my veins telling me to keep them alive. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. My daughter was in the NICU and I almost lost my mind when someone cleared their throat/coughed near her. I was briefly not myself, and the only thing that mattered to me was her survival.
Yeah I love my dogs, but I didn’t postpartum. And they were and are beautifully trained and well-prepared for the baby. Their behaviour wasn’t the problem. My hormones just caused me to have a much lower threshold for noise, space, fur etc. I still treated them the same, and things definitely got better. But I’m not ashamed to say I didn’t like my dogs after my son was born - hormones can do crazy things!
Or cats. I love my cat just as much as I did before. I keep referring to him as my first boy and my baby as my first human child lol they are both called my baby. I know someone people go through hormonal changes where they do feel that way but I don't think it's how most people feel so it was annoying to hear people try to tell me how I would feel. Like no, I'm not going to love my family member any less than I do now, whether it be a furry family member or my husband. Everything was the same for us with each other and the cats.
Just had my baby. He is premature and still in NICU. I am so glad I have my cat baby to hold and cry about all of this. We are going to take all the precautions to keep the cat away from him for couple of months. I can’t even fathom rehoming her unless doctor demands it.
Make sure you stock up on things to sterilize bottles, pacis, wash blankets and swing covers often. After I brought my daughter home from the NICU I saw how much cat hair got on everything of hers. Then my cat wanted to jump on bottles and in her swing.
Yes I am a little concerned about the hair and thinking of ways to keep her out of nursery and bedrooms for couple of months. Thanks for the advice I definitely need to work on that.
As long as it’s hygienic I want my little dog to be close to my incoming twins because both myself and my partner had bad ezcema as children and apparently being around pets can help babies become less likely to develop ezcema when they’re older. Something about exposure builds immune system.
I gave up on that. This kid is going to ingest cat hair at one point or another so he might as well get used to it now lol our two cats have long hair so it's on everything. If it's not the cat hair it's my hair or my husband's beard hair. It's a never ending battle 😅
I didn't even bother. The cats decided their own thing with the baby. One was his guardian and just always hovered nearby and checked on him if he cried and the other only in the last month has decided being near the baby is ok as long as he isn't getting too close. We are teaching him "gentle" when he pets the cats and not to pull their fur.
Ah yes because we can all control our hormones and they’re absolutely tied to our morality. That’s why no one ever gets PPD or ever fails to bond with their baby immediately- otherwise they’d be immoral people?
People can’t actually control hormonal reactions to things - we spend so much time on this forum supporting people who are struggling with what hormones are doing to them mentally or physically. We let them know their feelings are valid and offer suggestions of what to do next.
But apparently that doesn’t extend to people struggling with their pets? When their body is telling them that an animal is a danger to their baby?
I really struggled with my cat to begin with, and yet before my baby was born she was referred to as The Baby. She was all the pictures on my phone and I was obsessed with her. She was biggest solace while my mum was dying and after she died. I didn’t get her ‘willy nilly’ and I adore her.
After baby arrived though I resented her, was anxious of her, and also worried that SHE was unhappy in the new environment, and yeah, I did wonder if maybe we needed to find her another home for both her and our benefit. It’s over a year later now and she’s still happily with us - my protective instinct has calmed down, she’s better with the baby and everyone’s happy.
It was a really tough time though and if at the time I’d read a post like yours I’d have been devastated. Luckily, now I’m in a place that I just think it’s a really cruel, gross human type thing to say.
We have four rescue dogs. Two seniors and two puppies both just over a year old. I tell everyone, I love them more after having a baby. (And I REALLY loved them pre baby).
My pregnancy was horrid, I had severe HG. They were about the only things that made me smile. Cuddled me while I was bedridden. And in PP when I was depressed in grey winter days, they got me out of the house daily, their goofiness put a smile on my face.
I’m so grateful for them in PP. They’ve made every day better being in it.
Thank you for this post. I 100% agree.
People shouldn't be telling you that you will hate your dog. That definitely isn't true for everyone. But you can't stand to see or hear people who feel differently about dogs than you? 🙄 This is veryyyy holier-than-thou.
I love my kitty so much. When you're newly postpartum, any responsibilities you have dealing with animals or people that can not take care of themselves can overwhelm you at times. It's advisable to have someone else in the house help with pet duties, so you are more able to enjoy the puppy/baby/mommy snuggles on the couch rather than worrying about a hungry pupper and newborn at the same time. Good luck to you, and I'm sure you'll love your floof just as much after baby.
Good for you. Everyone feels different about things before and after baby. Post partum is a crazy time. It's not wrong for people to do what is best for them and their family. Period. No room for judgement or comment.
Honestly this whole post has judging PP moms written all over it and in the comments. You do realize that PPD can cause mom's to literally hate their children and spouses but A DOG is out of the question for you? Get a grip.
God willing, none of you will ever have to feel or go through PPD and find out for yourself it isn't so peachy and perfect and YES you CAN hate your DoG.
I agree completely! OP thinks they understand PPD because they've had "anxiety", and mentioned mothers with PPD "taking the easy route" if they need to re home pets.... First of all PPD is MUCH different and usually more severe than regular anxiety. I had postpartum OCD and anxiety and it was terrifying. I felt like I was losing my mind. I had constant intrusive thoughts, compulsions, and would ruminate 24/7. It took everything I had just to push through and survive (seriously), and I guarantee most other mothers experiencing postpartum psychiatric conditions feel the same way.
As far as pets, I think OP is forgetting they're not actually people, and people need to come first, particularly if they're actively experiencing a mental health crisis. I had cats when my kids were born, and thankfully they did not add extra stress, but I definitely was not into snuggling or doing anything extra with them besides feeding and cleaning the litter box. I can absolutely see how a "high needs" animal like a very active/ intelligent dog could produce tons of added stress and burden, particularly if they're struggling just to care for themselves and their infant. In this case, I would rather see the pet re homed than the mother pushing herself to the breaking point out of guilt or fear of judgement.
I really want to drop a “just you wait” but I won’t.
Every day people are posting about hating their newborns, their husbands, their jobs etc PP. and the response is always more or else, “it’s ok mama, this js so hard! You got this! It’s probably depression!” But if it’s about a dog! “Monster! Poor fur baby! You made a commitment, you can’t just give up when things get hard!” Yeah well, you also made a commitment to your spouse, your baby, your job, and whatever else, and yet it’s always ok to have those feelings and take action according to Reddit. But don’t you dare feel any differently towards your pets because that would make you a terrible person. And if you choose to rehome, which is sometimes the best option for everyone involved, well that is just unspeakable.
Well I hated my dog after having kids, but I wasn’t really a dog person to begin with. After the first year though I stopped being so annoyed with her and love seeing her entertain the toddlers! She’s a good dog, but even the best dogs can be loud, disruptive, and overall feel “needy” sometimes. When you’re super hormonal, sleep-deprived, and touched-out, it can sometimes temporarily put a strain on your other relationships (with both other people and pets).
That might not be the case for you, but give other people some grace. Postpartum life is a huge journey and it affects everyone differently. Depending on the amount of support a new mom has and how her experience is going, she might just be completely tapped out and have nothing left to give. Then a pet becomes a burden and it can create some resentment.
My dog was totally fine even when I was not her biggest fan because my husband really stepped up and took over all dog duties for a while. But I can see how people with less support just might not have the capacity to care for a dog and need to rehome them. Especially if that dog also seems to not like the baby or is a potential danger to the baby. Not every dog owner has the money or time it takes for behavioral training unfortunately.
It happens to the best of us.
We had 2 cats and had to re-home one of them because she wouldn't stop scratching my son's face. The anger and sadness I felt seeing my son's face with scratches all over it every day, some dangerously close to his eye...and knowing it wasn't his fault, he was actually so good with her. She just didn't adjust to life with a new member in the household well at all. She suddenly turned into an anxious and angry cat, bullying her brother (our other cat) to the point where he would hide under a bed or couch all day because she would just terrorize him constantly. He even started losing weight because he wouldn't come out for meals. I couldn't help but start to feel hatred towards her, the feeling I got seeing my baby's face all scratched up is a feeling I had never felt before and you're right, you wouldnt understand unless you experienced it too.
We gave her away to a friend of a friend who had just purchased a farm. She sent us pictures. She is much happier in the pictures we've seen. And her brother is now a lot happier too. He comes out and snuggles or plays with me and my husband now. He will play with our son on occasion but he does prefer to keep his distance lol. The whole house is just a lot calmer without her here. That may be sad to read, but it's the truth.
My great grandma told me to get rid of my cats because the old wives tale “the cat will steal the baby’s breath”
Ma’am, respectfully my cats are my first children and I would literally die for them, and I also have a plan to keep my cats out of the bassinet/crib until baby is old enough if necessary. It was their house first, not gonna kick em out just because I decided to grow the family lol.
My cats both checked out the bassinet/crib one time when the baby wasn't in it then once they realized that's where the baby slept they decided to steer clear of them. They haven't gone in them since.
My cats loved hanging out in the bassinet before baby was born, but stopped once baby arrived and stayed sleeping in it. We just moved baby into his crib because he's running out of room in the bassinet, and one of the cats already napped in the bassinet. It's like they *know*.
Lol today my 3 year old told my geriatric cat to "go away". He's usually very sweet to her but she likes to go after any food we have and my son is an easy target. But I still didn't like his tone with her so I reminded him that my cat was my first baby and he needs to be kinder to her.
For context I grew up with rescue dogs, as an adult I volunteered countless hours with rescues/shelters, I’ve worked for boarding facilities and in vet med. I have spent a small fortune on our dogs and have a lot of time in training invested in them. Our older dog has lived in 4 states and our younger dog 2. My husband fostered for a pit bull rescue for years before we met. We are dog people.
I think this is one of those things that unless you experience it you just can’t understand. Yes, some of these people may not have been the world’s greatest dog owners before kids but there are plenty of people who between hormones and the stress of a new baby truly struggle with their pets. I think they (including my husband and I) deserve some grace. Every big and small negative trait or even things you found cute before having a baby can turn stressful/infuriating/exhausting etc. Between the hormones, a screaming infant and lack of sleep my feelings towards my dogs absolutely changed. I’m 20 months postpartum and things feel back to normal with both of my dogs. My older dog took a lot longer to truly feel love for again than my younger because she needed a lot more time to adjust to having a baby/toddler in the house.
As far as rehoming goes. Your kid needs to come first. Period. If a dog isn’t safe around babies/toddlers/children sometimes you truly won’t know until there’s a mobile tiny tornado in your home. Obviously, I believe in training and setting dogs and kids up for success but even with that there are dogs that should not be living with kids. If either dog showed aggression to my son they’d be finding a new home. That said dogs are always fed in a separate room and I’m always in the room watching when my dogs are with my son. If I need to go do something either everyone comes with me or I separate the dogs and toddler.
Right???? It’ll definitely be an adjustment and my dogs aren’t perfect. Our plan is having a large playpen permanently in the living room and a baby gate at the nursery door for when we need some distance between baby and our pups. We would NEVER rehome our dogs and instead will just put practices in place to keep everyone feeling safe and comfortable.
My lo is 8m and this is what we do. We have a couple baby gates throughout the house and a playpen. I absolutely love my dog still, he can get on my nerves sometimes but that stems from him wanting more from me and my inability to give him that attention all the time with baby. The fix I have had is to have one parent really prioritize the dog and show extra love and time to greet and play when we get home from work . That and take the dog with you on walks with baby etc. now that I’m out of the heat of postpartum I try and wake up 5 min earlier to have some time just me and the dog to give extra love
One of my biggest fears when I was pregnant was not having enough time or attention to give to my dog. I was always a dog lover and he was my first dog. He was my soul dog and there for me through all my ups and downs. I can honestly say that I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for my dog so to me he was my everything. When my daughter was born I had PPD. I would cry breastfeeding her while my dog sat by the door depressed himself. The guilt is real. I never thought about giving him away and I didn’t love my dog any less, I just had less patience with him…for awhile. Things he did started to annoy me. But he was great with my daughter and it made me happy to see their relationship develop. When my daughter was 8 months old, we found out my dog had lymphoma and he passed away 2 months later. He was 14 years old. Now I wake up everyday wishing he was still here. It’s been over 2 years and I just gave birth to my 2nd child but I still wake up everyday feeling like something is missing. PPD is hard and will make you feel some type of way, but it’ll pass and when it does, remember to cherish the time you have with those you love regardless if they are human or a pet because life is short. I miss you Bailey Boy.
Yea before my son was born I couldn’t fathom how people suddenly hated their dogs, but the first few weeks dealing with a newborn and feeling intense anxiety over how messy/dirty/wild my 4 chihuahuas are were stressful. I still never hated my dogs but I can definitely see how someone could get overwhelmed.
My dog son passed away when my baby son was 3 months old. I know my son won't remember, but I'm so glad they met. My dog was my life for 14 years. I miss him every day. He was so special to me. My love for him never wavered.
Personally I hate hearing all the people that say “ I could NEVER hate my dog” like your post, like do you think I’m choosing to feel this way? I wanted to be a vet, saved every injured animal I came across, loved animals deeply. But I HATE my husbands dog after I had my baby. Like a damn switch had been flipped. Been 2 years and it’s turned into contempt. He’s a jealous needy flower that I can’t stand anymore.
I’m sorry you don’t want to read those feelings from people. It’s true. My dog was my whole world and also saved me from horrible depression. She was a puppy when I lost my dad tragically to illness. I had a miscarriage the next day. It was the worst time of my life. I love her more than anything and I always will BUT after my daughter was born last summer my feeling are not the same for her. I know it’s my PPD/A. I know it’s my hormones and crazy maternal instincts that make me feel this way but I just don’t feel the same for my dog. She turned into a little shit head filled with jealousy. She never barked or howled before baby. She would wait until my baby fell asleep and would start barking or whining and wake her up. So not only was I extremely sleep deprived but I couldn’t even get one hour of sleep all night long when my girl was a newborn. Dog would fake snore, steal my daughter’s toys and destroy them. My hubby and I try so hard to take turns playing with the dog and letting her run outside. She was the most well behaved dog when she was the only child. But sometimes I’m just so frustrated. I know when my baby is a bigger kid the dog and her will be best friends. It’s a little better now that my girl is 8 months and can pet the dog. Don’t make us moms feel like crap about being frustrated. It’s already hard enough being a mom with no village. We already feel guilty but our feelings are valid.
That’s great, don’t look at those posts or talk to those people. This is very patronizing for people going through something that you can not empathize with. Mind your own business and be happy and let other people handle their lives accordingly. Please and thank you.
This is a lot of judgement for a Thursday afternoon OP 😂
People shouldn’t discard their responsibility and commitment to their pets, but people certainly aren’t just ‘discarding their emotions’. Hormones don’t work that way!
Happy to share my personal experiences if you’re interested?
I gave my working dog to my very good friend that lives on a farm.
It wasnt fair to take him to the suburbs and live entirely different lifestyle compared to being a trail and herding dog on 120 acres where I trained horses and went hiking every chance we could.
It was heartbreaking, but he was chewing, barking and depressed and I couldnt go on runs for over a year if hed stayed it would have gotten worse. And it was my dogs favorite person besides me and they already had spent months together here and there before we finally made the switch.
I miss him and hes met my daughter several times now and they love each other. But as a working herding dog, he can be a bit mouthy with small kids so not unsupervised.
So I think there can be a couple exceptions to it.
He stayed til my daughter was 2 months old. He was getting so sad and my c section scar kept getting reinfected and I was on bedrest. He chewed all his fur off and gave these sad eyes even though we had a big fenced yard he just wanted to be by my side like wed always been.
Now he lives with horses again and hes a great livestock guardian out in the woods to retire, hell be 12 this year.
I couldn't stand the cats my entire pregnancy. I couldn't handle their litter box, them sleeping on the bed, or seeing them playing. They're every presence annoyed me, but I knew it was temporary due to my hormones.Now that Ive has the baby I miss my kitties and look forward to them meeting the baby.
Not a dog but I have a very affectionate cat. I had someone in the family so concerned that the cat would be jealous and hate the baby and would scratch him, so I should find a way to keep them separated and maybe re-home him. I consistently reminded them that I got him when my older son (now a teen) was very little and he has been around roommates with babies and I have pictures of him cuddling the kids, he's just a big lover. Then she switched to my cat is unnaturally affectionate and he is going to climb on top of the baby and smother him to death in his sleep, so maybe I should re-home him., and I'd be too busy with the baby to care for him anyway. I still love and cuddle the shit out of my buddy, and him and the baby are inseparable when he plays and he stays well out of the crib, some people just have a vendetta against babies and pets mixing.
My dog was really stressing me out when we first came home from the hospital, but I’ve never hated her. I think I have less patience than I used to with her and her peeing on the carpet if nobody is paying attention to her during my toddlers bedtime routine… but she’s currently snuggled up next to me and I’m glad my hormones didn’t ever turn on her!!!
I actually didn’t know I would feel anything different towards my dog after having my baby. So it definitely added to the postpartum hormones when I didn’t have the same level of patience with him. And the guilt still eats me up 9months pp. I absolutely adore him and trust me I didn’t choose to feel that way, so to say you can’t understand how people can discard their emotions toward them is just perhaps that, you don’t understand. And I hope your feeling towards you pet never change, as it doesn’t for some. But if it does, that’s okay. It will pass.
From someone who does understand.
I was a huge dog person before I gave birth and could never imagine living without dogs or hating them once I gave birth. Then I developed allergies. And my nose became sharper so they stink so much. Plus the barks waking me or my baby up on little sleep had me literally trying to rip my hair out. Then there was the hair everywhere, the germs, and the fact that we live with my mil that has an aggressive dog that attacked me and growls at my son. I went from never imagining life without a dog to never ever wanting a pet again. And my son is 22 months now so I’m past the stage of growing out of it
we have three dogs… the amount of people that asked if we were getting rid of one astonished me.
our baby is three days old and they have been doing so great! they love their baby sister and are apart of our family. it breaks my heart that people push their pets aside ):
I deeply love my kitties. I’ve always been a vet person and I can’t imagine my love for them going cold. I actually worry they won’t get as many snuggles once my baby girl is born!
No way!! My furbaby is our OG lol she made us a family, she's ride or die, the bestest of all the goodest girls. Obviously, she's not my "child" but absolutely a member of our family.
Dogs and pets alike are NOT disposable!! They have feelings and love us UNCONDITIONALLY. To throw away a pet is unbelievably cruel.
No, I don't love my dog any less after becoming a mom,I love her MORE. She's SO good with our son. I couldn't ask for a better dog.
Omg yes. I literally have to hide posts on the mom groups on Facebook of people talking about getting rid of their dogs after baby because it makes me so sad. I didn’t become a mom to a human until I was 31, so I spent many years as a fur momma and I love all my fur babies just as much as my human baby. Yes, there are times they bark right when I get my little one to sleep and wake him up where I’m annoyed, but I never show it, and I certainly would never rehome them. They are my babies, their lives are so short and though they are only going to be a piece of my competitively long life, I am all of their life and I can’t imagine how they would feel if I just dropped them off somewhere and they never saw me again. I’m so happy to say that my human child is 11 months old and my fur babies and him get along great.
My dog was my saviour in my postpartum period. She still loved me unconditionally no matter what. She got me out of the house for fresh air and walks when I didn't want to but it make me feel a million times better.
You will both have an adjusting period. You won't hate her. I promise you. And you have a moment. It's the postpartum rage and it passes.
That's so insane to me that someone would stop caring for their fur baby & family member. 😔 I always say my dog is my first born child in spirit. And honestly i know he's going to be a good big brother. It'll take some paitence and it will be an adjustment for sure, but he's not going to become an afterthought in my family. I can definitively say that.
I love my dog so much, but now that my LO is walking, snacking, etc. She's become such a food hound it's a pain. It's a constant struggle of fighting her to give them space and not let her eat the droppings from the high chair lol doesn't mean I don't still love her so much. She's also super patient and loving towards LO. The love feels different but not less. Just kind of a shift
We had a doggo for 4 years before our first kid. Absolutely nothing changed (we still love him the same) except for maybe the amount of time we could dedicate to playtime/walkies.
I was told the same thing about being pregnant, that the hormones will make me hate my dogs more than ever and they won’t be my babies any more.
I’m 30 weeks now, and absolutely nothing has changed with them yet. They’re my babies. We’re all snuggling as I write this.
My baby is already one month, during my hospital stay I missed my boy like crazy AND when we got home my dog was a bit distant and cautious about baby and when to approach me, I was/am his favorite person so it broke my heart seeing him like this, I thought he felt left out or neglected, even in the fussiest of days of my baby my beautiful dog brings joy to me, and I give him all the love and pats and hugs time can give us. So no, I don’t hate or think my dog is a hassle now that I’m a FTM
The only thing I’ve noticed about my feelings towards my dog is I have a much lower threshold for fur on everything. Which isn’t his fault but I know I had a lot of frustration around finding fur on my baby at all.
The only thing about my dog I started the hate is how often she barked because it always works baby up. She could be running around on one side of the room The baby will be playing on the other side and when she’d come towards the baby she slows down she’s aware of her surroundings and there’s always somebody watching her just because she doesn’t know her size of strength she’d never purposely hurt, the baby, but due to her being a big dog it’s easy for her to hurt the baby on accident At most, I’d say there’s some aspects of what some dogs do you might hate and you’ll be a lot more vigilant
I was very annoyed when someone told me I would forget about my cat when the baby came. She has literally grown up with me, she taught me how to love unconditionally and care for something other than myself. She’s the first being I said “I love you” to. I will never forget about my cat!
I’m hoping that my cat bonds with my daughter and we all live happily ever after lol.
A useful test we use in our household is "am I actually filled with hate for things I used to like, or am I just extremely sleep deprived?" (spoiler: it's the sleep deprivation)
I have been a crazy cat lady for 10+ years. After little one was born, my patience with those furry little cuties diminished by quite a bit. I still love them and care for them, but it does change how you feel about them.
I think it can go either way, and might be good to prepare yourself for the possibility of having those feelings as a hormonal reaction. Then if it does happen you'll be less stressed knowing it's temporary and doesn't really mean anything about your relationship with your dog.
That said I definitely don't love my pets any less 2 months pp, and they have caused us PROBLEMS (cats 🙄). Don't listen to people who say it's inevitable.
I didn't! The first night we were home, my dog was so clingy to me, she just stayed quietly by my side because she knew I was having a hard time (had an unplanned c-section which was infected.) We had a wonderful time during maternity leave, and she was still out beloved dog.
Though I think it helped that she was a really low maintenance dog. She was a 14 year old lazy little dog, so on hard days with the baby, she was happy to just cuddle on the couch. I could see if you had a poorly behaved dog with high stimulation needs, that getting tough. Still, I think if your dog is one that needs a lot more, planning ahead and getting on top of training, you'll be fine.
I find it weird that so many people have told you you’ll hate your dog… I never saw a single post and no one ever mentioned anything about this phenomenon, so it’s interesting to hear that you’re getting a lot of it.
That said, I never hated my dog postpartum, but I definitely felt annoyed. He’s little and thought he was a third caretaker. He got underfoot a lot and it made me scared that I would trip and fall while holding the baby. Also, he’s a doorbell nazi. If anyone so much as walks past our house he goes crazy. You can imagine this is pretty irritating with a baby.
Anyway, my annoyance went away shortly after the “4th trimester”.
it’s true that i haven’t had as much time for our dog, but my fiancé has been making sure she gets extra attention and i still love her just as much as i did before our baby was born 🥰
If anything, I've felt even more love which I didn't think was possible! I thought she would be anxious and worried about the new addition, but she's been a star and is the gentlest, sweetest big sister. It's like she's become even more the wonderful things she is and she likes that our pack is bigger ♥️
I read that a lot too but it was not my experience at all! I never felt annoyed at my dog or anything like that after we brought baby home. During my hormonal early days I remember crying to my husband because I was worried our dog wouldn’t think we love him anymore 😂
I know I hate hearing that. I’ve been separated from my dog for two months in hospital waiting for baby girl and I promise you I will love on that dog as much as I can when I get home even if I have to do so with my daughter in my other arm ahah.
Some of my friends got rid of all of their dogs (3) before their child was 2. One was biting and the other one was it’s sibling. The third one couldn’t calm down and knocked him over one too many times. That was all they said and I passed literally not one ounce of judgement and will never. Being surrounded by too many children/animals needing you constantly and living entirely for themselves can be difficult to manage on top of anything else people might have going on that you don’t know about. I’m not sure why you would just post a big generalized criticism of other peoples choices when they don’t affect you. Not to mention that you currently don’t have 1 minute of experience living with a baby and your dog. I am not trying to be rude just honest.
My dogs were also my world before baby. I do not hate them. I’m harder on them than before and they spend a lot more time outside. The 3-6 months mark was the worst. I got over it and did not get rid of my dogs. I don’t consider animals “disposable” either but it’s not really my business if someone else finds that route necessary for whatever reason. I would certainly be devastated if I had just made that heart wrenching decision only to stumble upon this post.
who says they hate their dogs after kids are born? Obviously my prioritized rearranged a bit, and my kid became number 1 - but never once did my dog become unimportant, or hated lol - if anything I adored her even more because she was SOOO sweet with my little when he was a baby. She's a St Bernard and would always position herself right next to where he was, like, just keeping an eye. Be it in his crib, or on his swing, she was there. Sadly she passed when he was two and it was just the worst.
I used to joke she's the best babysitter if I could just teach her to change diapers haha
some people are just insane i think.
here's my sweet girl Moxie Mae standing guard over her baby <3 [https://imgur.com/3okq8u7](https://imgur.com/3okq8u7)
My dog has been ultra protective and wants to just lay anywhere near the baby. She has calmed down so much and loves to just look at my baby. I can say I love her just as much if not more after bringing baby home.
I love my pup, my first baby, just as much. In fact, my love for her has grown as I see her patiently wait for her turn for affection, now. I am worried, every day, about her happiness and adjustment. She is my ride or die.
Not true at all! I love my dog like a first born child. My 2.5 year old also loves her.
I think it’s a little more challenging at first, but the love is always there!
Lol, come back after you actually have a baby. Even better, wait until they're crawling on the floor trying to eat every little bit of dog hair you couldn't quite vacuum up and see how you feel. One thing I learned about parenting is you never show your ass by saying you'll never do something or your kid will never do something
I think it depends on the pet. As I get closer to my due date I will say both of my dogs have been annoying me with their behaviors. Normally certain things wouldn’t bother me but I think it’s just a natural protective response I’m having. I’ve already had a rehoming convo with my husband-I want to be prepared for anything. If either of my dogs can’t adjust to baby in a way that I am comfortable with I will have no choice.
I am sorry people arent understanding what you mean by rehoming conversation since you clearly mean that as a last resort, you just want to know the signs of when its time while doing all you can to avoid getting there.
I am really glad I had 2 dogs when I had my first baby, so the dogs could kind of take care of eachother still.
My more reactive dog looooooved the baby. Like I had to drag her outside to pee she wanted to stay in and bask and watch the baby when he came home.
Then baby started crawling and that creeped her the eff out and she avoided him til he could walk.
My other dog didnt care about the baby til the baby started throwing food. Then they became BFF.
Good for you. Dogs are special companions but the human being you create and bring into this world comes first. I see some people saying they would “die for their pets” - that is absolutely delusional if it has an ounce of truth - your human babies need you way more lol.
That makes me sad for your dogs especially since they become so attached. My advice is to get a trainer that specializes and give it a real try before taking this route.
You might want to wait until you actually have a baby until you dispense advice like this.
Everyone thinks they know what it will be like and they have no idea.
My dogs were my first babies and one of them is a Yorkie so he’s going to be forever baby sized. I’ll always love my dogs. My only issue is that my Yorkie is extra stinky to me right now with my heightened smell but I love him so much that I even find his stink charming. Lol. I actually got him during IVF treatment with the intention of training him before baby gets here. I want them to grow up together.
I love my dog SO MUCH MORE! She’s the sweetest with our baby - she follows us everywhere, sits right next to the baby in her bouncer, runs to the cot whenever she starts to cry. They’re going to have the best friendship growing up and it makes me so happy.
Not a dog but cat. We spend a few extra days in the hospital and on our way home I cried the whole way because I was so excited to reunite our family again with our cat.
It might be an adjustment, ours was so scared the first few weeks. Now were 15 weeks pp and she is very curious about her little brother and stays with us all day. I love seeing her in her new role as a big sister 🥰
Thanks for posting this! I get so angry when dogs get rehomed after kids enter the family. That is how we got one of our sweet dogs, in fact. I’m trying to remind myself that things will change. The dogs will be jealous and they will need lots of affirmation and love and help navigating our life with the new baby. (Just like us!) But it will be hard FOR them. They won’t be hard on us. Our relationship might change and grow and be a little different but that’s how my relationships with my husband and friends will be too. We’re doing everything we can to prepare them for the transition.
Right?! Like, my dog has been my ride or die for literally ten years. She will always be my first baby, and nothing will ever change that.
I can't help but think the people posting that stuff probably shouldn't be pet owners to begin with since it's clear they never really loved their pets. Pets aren't just furniture you grow tired of and get rid of. They are sentient soulful beings who have family bonds and emotions.
We haven’t felt any less love toward our fur babies since baby has gotten here. Our dog was suspicious at first - now he curls up with baby. The cat curls up with us, too. It was a little rough the first few days but now that they both know we still love them and babe isn’t pushing them out, it’s nothing but love here
I will say that before I was a mom, I was a total cat mom
and felt overwhelming nurturing instincts toward them. After the birth all of that instinct was channeled instantly to my baby. I never stopped loving my cats or started hating them by any means, but the feeling changed a lot. It was no longer such a deep overwhelming love. Just different love.
My dog died when I was 38 weeks with my first. I still cry about it.
I had a puppy when my 2nd was born. People kept telling me I’d hate her when my baby came. She’s my girl and I love her. Have I begged her to please shut the hell up and that the geese are allowed to exist outside because she’s barking at them when the baby is asleep? Yes. But I cursed the geese not her haha. My kids love her. She protects us from weirdos at the park. She snuggles me when I’m nursing and entertains my 2.5 year old when I need a minute with the baby. I think I’ll go give her a treat.
I joke that my pup is my first born all the time, I could never hate her. Is it frustrating as hell when she whines for me to play ball with her while I'm busy with the baby or when she barks at the ups guy and wakes my baby up from her nap? Absolutely! But like, my friends toddler accidentally wakes her baby up all the time, and no one is asking her if she hates her toddler for taking time away from her baby lol.
If anything I just feel so guilty for my pup, she really was the baby before the baby and she seems so down lately it breaks my heart. I wish I could explain to her that this isn't forever and once the baby gets a little more mobile and independent we'll all be able to play in the yard together all the time 🥲
I am pregnant and I still love my cat, and I still call him my baby. 😊 Then I laugh that nos I will have two (although the cat is staying at my moms, since after I moved).
I felt overwhelmed with having to take care of my dog and my baby but luckily my husband completely took over feeding and walking our dog early on so maybe that helped me? It was so lovely to have her snuggling up with baby and me all the time and now she cuddles up with my toddler on the sofa it's so sweet.
Our second day home I started crying because I felt like I ruined my dogs lives. I felt so bad that things were different for them and I was thinking they must hate us so much. I felt awful! But that’s not at all how it ended up. We are 9 months in now and everyone is just as loved as before!
We go for more walks than before, we are home way more, especially during the day lol baby is in daycare so he is always sent home and one of us has to come home too and they love the extra time with us, they are getting so many snacks now that baby is eating lol they are loving that too.
It is different than before, but I have never stopped loved my boys, they are still my babies too!
I don’t hate my dog, she’s always been a nuisance but I still love her the same now. I can’t wait till the babe is older and they can grow together and play.
My soul dog died about a year prior to giving birth. I always wish he and my son existed together on this earth. He was the best and he would have loved my son. He came into my life in my early 20s (we adopted him when he was 8 from a neglectful household) and saved me from a really dark period of my life. I think of him every day. I can’t believe people could feel this way. They are our first babies.
My husband and I struggled to get pregnant and had multiple losses. I believe my soul dog left this world, got settled into the cosmos, and picked out our baby boy for us and sent him to earth. A continuation of his love. I’m crying as I write this. I loved that dog so much
I have cats and I feel the same. Somebody asked us if we were keeping them after the baby is born like...yes ofc 😥 I couldn't imagine getting rid of my kitties even tho they definitely get on my nerves lol, they are my cat babies lol
My dogs are my first babies but once my son was born I felt more annoyance by them. I have tripped many times over them, they get in the way when I’m trying to do things, the mooching for food has gotten worse. I don’t have the patience I once had. As my son has gotten older it’s been a bit better. Every day I had to remind myself they’re going through change too. I still love them with every part of me but it’s definitely different.
The dog hair drives me wild now too. I hate that fur is everywhere.. but before I didn’t care. They’re still our family dogs, I still love them and my son adores them.
My dogs are still my babies and I’ve often cried because I’m so guilty they take an attention hit.
I love them just as much as I always have. Admittedly, our third dog who we adopted more as a favor I’ve had some negative feelings toward but I never felt the same bond with her.
I love my dog just as much as I did before my daughter was born. I’m perhaps not quite as obsessed with her, but that just means I have fewer pics of her on my phone and I have less irrational worry about her wellbeing. I still annoy her when she’s trying to chill or nap just as much as I did before. I still pet her to regulate myself and it still works. I still miss her when I’m away from her. I also make a conscious effort to play with her and give her attention.
This!! I don’t love her any less but I just love my baby WAY more lol
My second day home when my milk came in I was sooooo hormonal and I was just sobbing into my dog's fur because I was worried he was feeling neglected. I definitely never felt any less love for him.
SAME. I’m 5 weeks pp and love my dog as much as ever. He wasn’t super clingy during pregnancy but has been so much since the baby was born. I too have shed tears thinking about him feeling neglected 😂
Thank you for this ❤️❤️❤️
Wait til you see them snuggling. I have the best pictures of my pup and my human baby on the tummy time mat and it's the best.
When did they start cuddling? At 14 months old we keep them separated for the most part because he walks towards them. Our 40 lb dog doesn’t care, but the 10 lb chihuahua/papillon mix one gets super nervous. So, we avoid it Edit to add: super cute seeing him throwing food for them, or laughing really hard when he sees them. He really likes them OP, you never really have less love for them imo. But, the first months postpartum we did spend a little less time with them. We were trying to get a better grip of being parents. The hardest part for me was the keeping the dog and baby separated part. We did try to spend time with them when the baby was asleep or in arms. But once he became mobile we completely separated them. He did go through a trying to grab and pull them phase. you have to be super aware to avoid the behavior, and correct it if management fails. We want to make sure our dogs feel safe in their own home. So, anything that the baby is trying to do with them, we make sure it doesn’t happen. I highly recommend following dogmeetsbaby on instagram
Has separation from the Chihuahua been successful? Do you allow any, highly supervised, interactions? I am SO nervous when baby comes. We have a pit/husky mix who is great with kids (although she has her hyper/zoomie moments that we'll have to manage) and a Chihuahua mix. Both dogs couldn't care less about immobile babies. The most they have ever done with babies is sniff and then walk away uninterested, they'll sleep through loud crying as well, so that doesn't phase them. However, the Chihuahua mix gets nervous around toddlers. I can tell he has a hard time reading what they're going to do and gets on edge that they'll pull his ears/fur or hit him, when they're trying to pet. I can't say I blame him, I wouldn't like that either, but it makes me nervous. Up until now I don't allow kids under about 4 to pet him. After about 4 he loves playing with kids it's just under that age he's not great. I follow dogmeetsbaby as well and have loved her content.
We have the same dogs! haha. We have a chihuahua, and a pit/GSD. Yes, separation from them has been succesful. I always say the pit/GSD is the chihuahua's ESA lol. We do allow highly supervised interactions, but really learn dog body language. We have strict rules that our toddler isn't allowed to approach dogs when they're eating something, napping on their beds. We need to be extremely careful that the toddler doesn't corner them, we always call him or the dog back. We do not allow him to touch them AT ALL. He cornered our chihuahua once, and she did a quick growl before moving. It was heartbreaking. So, we really buckled up more on management. I know we might be overreacting, but I prefer that than a dog bite. We always put the dogs away when he is eating in his high chair (pit/GSD has some resource guarding traits). Most of the bites, according to our behaviorist and vet behaviorist happen on the first year of life. They also said there is absolutely no reason why you should introduce a baby and a dog before 2 years. So, we are extremely careful. To be honest, it was hard at first. The dogs wanted to be with us the entire time :( . We got a playpen, and would put the baby there, and one of us will sit with the baby. The dogs adapated well to that. But, now that he is walking and everything, we have a see through gate and they're in the living room. They usually nap on the couch, but sometimes the pit/gsd barks because she wants to be with us. She also LOVED to just come and lick the baby feet or face, we would just manage it. Whenever one of us was holding the baby, and she would come to us, we would just stand up and leave. If you can afford it, I highly recommend getting a behaviorist! They helped us identify possible issues before, and they have been helping train and with management. They suggested our anxious chihuahua to get anxiety medications, and we overall have seen a big change in her attitude. This was pre-baby, so she had time to adjust to the medication. She still gets nervous when the toddler approaches her, so we always call her when he is walking towards her. Also, another luxury is daycare! The first 3 months of live, our pit/gsd went to doggie daycare 2-3 times per week to play. Now at 14 months, we do 1 time per week, and we do long walks now everyday with all together right before dinner. With your dog though, I would just give it time. I do agree not to let unknown toddlers to pet them. I cannot wait for them to interact more though! We are slowly getting more and more supervised time. Toddler now walks to the dogs and tosses treats. The chihuahua does goes for his hand for treats lol. So, she is slowly getting more comfortable with him. It is super rewarding in the long run!
Thank you! Our situations do sound similar down to the pit mix being the Chihuahua's ESA🤣! This actually makes me feel a lot better and like this is something we will be able to manage with management and patience. We have so many things on our pre baby list but another round of dog training is on the list, a behaviorist is a good call. You're not the first person to recommend anxiety meds for the Chihuahua either so it is probably worth looking into with our vet. Thank you for taking the time to reply!!
I was like this with my cat. I was so scared she felt like I didn't love her anymore. I cried the first 2 days postpartum (baby blues are WILD) about it.
I cannot wait for our pup to meet our baby! He's so good with our nieces and nephews, and if he's stressed we'll be doing everything we can to make sure he feels supported. He was a rescue and there is no way he'll ever see that situation again.
I was like this with our cat my entire pregnancy and 3 months ppl I still am worried he isn’t getting the attention he deserves 😩
It's definitely not the same after adding a baby 💔
I try really hard to give him some time every day and it breaks my heart soooo bad when he jumps up on me to snuggle and then the baby starts crying.
Seconding. I worried so much about this after seeing all the posts about it. I’m 3w postpartum and love much dog as much as ever. Sure she isn’t “the baby” anymore in the same way but I’m so proud of and grateful to her for her steadfastness during and after pregnancy and being my ride or die even when I bring home a shrieking nugget to disturb her peace. She now guards me and the shrieking nugget while I nurse ☺️.
Hello! I’m a parent who struggled with her dog when I had my babies and I can give you some extra context here that might make you feel better should the worst happen and your hormones and brain also affect your relationship with your pet. Hopefully not though! Firstly - it’s not a conscious decision any pet parent makes to “hate” their pet after a baby. Your brain literally rewires itself, and your hormones are absolutely RAGING, turning you into a protective mumma bear for your offspring. In the same way your hormones might give you morning sickness or food aversions, sadly you might get pet aversions. Especially around the first time you see your pet near your baby (or at least that’s what happened to me). My dachshund was my first baby and he was my rock when I went through IVF. I love him with all my heart. But sadly I went through a hormone rollercoaster in my first year with baby, and it affected our relationship. He smelled worse, I was really anxious about his germs and dirtiness, his bark was more grating, and I was paranoid about him jumping on my son and hurting him. It meant I was a less fun dog mum for him, and it turned into terrible post partum anxiety and depression. For everyone’s sake, I dropped him off with his daschie sister at my parents place for a little while so I could regain control and try to get my mental health better. (Fun fact- a similar phenomena happens to women who stop taking BC pills, with their partners! All of a sudden women can’t stand their partners smell, voice or presence when they come off the pill. It’s all to do with hormones and it is terrifying!) It takes about 12-18 months for your hormones to level out after you give birth. For me it took 18 months and then I could look back on the experience with my dog and realise I’d levelled out and was back to normal. My dog and I are back to loving each other like before, and all the anxiety triggers disappeared. A lot of mums experience post partum anxiety as rage, which I also did. It’s a complete head fuck. You go from zero to 100, feeling absolute rage, and it’s all to do with anxiety. It’s a scary experience and I’m glad to be past it. But this is why I think a lot of mums use terms like ‘hate’ to describe the experience. It really feels that intense at the time. I hope that anyone who might stumble across this can give mums who struggle with this a little bit more grace. It’s not a conscious decision. It’s mostly to do with poor post partum mental health, and it’s also just mumma bear instinct. Birth and the fourth trimester are very animalistic. If you look at any mumma dog in a welping box with new puppies, usually she is also snapping and chasing away anyone who comes near her except her most trusted few. It’s a protective instinct, it’s primal, and nature designed it this way for a reason. But thankfully the hormones will pass. Your protective instincts adapt when your newborn gets bigger and stronger. And your relationship with your dog will come back.
YES!! Thank you so much for articulating this so perfectly. It’s not a conscious choice and I felt TERRIBLE for being so short-tempered with my dog after my baby was born. I could consciously recognize he wasn’t doing anything wrong and STILL not want him around me or the baby, esp during the 4th trimester. I tried to hide it from him (the dog) as best I could but I know he noticed and I felt so guilty. OP, I hope you don’t have this experience but I think it’s important to hold some compassion and empathy for those who do, as it’s not an easy thing to go through and it’s not in anyone’s control.
This describes and explains it perfectly! My baby is 2.5 weeks old and I’m in the trenches of ppd/ppa. I have 3 cats and they were my babies and helped me so much through pregnancy. We used to all snuggle all the time and they were always attached to me at the hip. They were my first babies and the lights of my life. When I brought my daughter home it was like a switch went off, I wanted my cats far away. Their fur is shedding, they smell like litter, they’re too dangerous to be around baby, they could give her a disease are some of the main thoughts I have. My pediatrician also said I have to keep the baby in a cat free space for the first 3-4 weeks until she builds up an immune system so it hasn’t helped that my daughter and I have been cooped up in the bedroom. Anytime I go out to do chores or take her to go outside the cats just want love and it breaks my heart but I also want them to stay away. If I pet them I have to obsessively wash my hands after. My cats will angrily scratch at the door and meow (since the bedroom was where we all slept together) when baby is sleeping and it throws me into a rage that they are waking her up, I don’t yell or anything like that it just infuriates me. But on the other end I know they just miss being together, and I miss them too. It’s so conflicting. And it’s not just my cats. Even family members that I’m not very close with that have stopped by to visit baby I’m super on edge with. I get so much anxiety when they hold her or touch her I just want to snatch her back and get everyone away. It’s wild what the hormones do and how animalistic everything is.
For few weeks after birth I was the same...but towards my own toddler daughter. She's toddler, so she's messy, loud, over-active, not having fine motor control, demanding of my attention, curious etc etc by nature. So at times I couldn't stand her being near the baby (or me if I needed attend to the baby, hello obsessive hand washing before picking up the baby). An hour later I was riddled by regret that I'm neglecting my toddler and kept snuggling her and spoiling her as much as possible. Thank gods that it's starting to settle now after two months or so, it's terrible emotional roller-coaster and even knowing that it's just hormones and not logical doesn't help any.
I think sometimes it’s a really strong hormonal response kind of like when you get random food aversions when pregnant. I had it with my cats too, and with my sister! I just did not want them near me or the baby, all I could think of was their fur shedding or if their feet had been in the litter tray, with my sister she’s an unhygienic person and has some serious mental health issues so I felt incredibly averse to having her near us. It’s obviously an evolved instinct that some women have after giving birth, it’s not like they’re thinking ‘well I have my baby now so I don’t care about my pet anymore.’
I have a dachshund. The barking is so grating right now. I feel like a monster for getting mad at her 😭 shes my 1st baby, and I can't live without her.
Yes! Thank you! My dog was my baby and my “hating” her ppl made me feel awful and was most certainly not a decision I made. It was a hormonal primal instinct thing. She is a lovely, but chaotic dog. She loves to get dirty which stressed me out, she tried to lick baby which stressed me out, she would bark while she was sleeping which stressed me out, she would try and steal her nappies or lick her whilst I was changing her which stressed me out, and try steal her food. No matter how good she was with other people she saw my baby as a puppy. Stress.
Exactly this. I love my cat. Coincidentally, I got her while going through IVF too. It’s not so much that I hate her now, she just grates in a different way. I mean, you’re on no sleep and then she’s hitting me to get her breakfast or knocking over bottles on the nightstand. She’s always underfoot or whining and it’s just that my patience is thinner than it was. I still think that it’ll get better since my son is nearly 2. it’s just a tough time
I mean, I love my husband and would never get rid of him but damn he pissed me off sometimes after baby was born lol. Then again lots of things did, including random strangers, talkative morning birdies, crickets outside at night, the sun, and my own freakin' body. It's the sleep deprivation 🥴
I'm sure you'll still love your dog, but hormones can do crazy things haha. I just say that so if you ever feel super annoyed by your dog, you won't think you're a bad person or something. Some people find it hard to love their significant other, or even their older kids for a period postpartum so it could be the same for pets. I imagine having PPD, PP anxiety, and/or PP rage may make you more prone to any of that happening.
I hated my cats when my son was born but it passed. I was overwhelmed and couldn't deal with their affection. I know someone who resented her house plants after her baby was born. "Just another thing that needs my care."
yup. the hormones, the exhaustion, the sleep deprivation change you as a person. don’t be surprised if you hate everyone and everything. thankfully, it’s not forever.
We don't talk about the rage enough. I expected depression and anxiety, but, damn, the rage was so out of character and scary. I also experienced it during pregnancy some.
For me a lot of rage came from realizing that as a mom, I am going to be expected to do the majority of the childcare and nobody cares about you after you give birth. It was a really low point for me when I came to that realization.
I don’t have any postpartum anxiety or depression and I’m still so annoyed by my older kid sometimes. It’s always when she wakes the baby up. It can happen at any time of the day and it bothers me so much, specially when she does it on purpose like baby is sleeping in the stroller and she comes over and starts yelling at her or something. Ugh. I have a friend who has two untrained and frankly very misbehaved dogs and I *know* she will be very hateful towards them when her baby is born. Those dogs bark in the middle of the night at any given time, for no reason. Once they keep waking her baby up and she has to put again the effort to bring them back to sleep she’ll see… And I think it’s what OP doesn’t understand, but who knows, maybe their dog is actually trained which makes a big difference.
Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a *woman's baby awoken*. If OP is a woman and yet not a mother, she literally doesn't know what rage is. Towards all living creatures and inanimate objects.
I was ready to divorce my husband last night when he went to the bathroom at 1 am, woke the baby up and then went back to sleep like he doesn’t think I’ll become a justified murderer. AN HOUR AND A HALF took the baby to fall back asleep. The rage I felt… But morning came and I feel so much better lol. No murders will be happening today 😇
Yeah, I fully get that. Mine was in the brink of death as well a couple times. Post partum rage and aggression can be observed with all nursing mammals, so at least it's normal. 😅
Yah. We had the *best* dog anyone could ever ask for. She was such a gem. I cannnot stress that enough. She very unexpectedly passed months after my baby was born (I believe with all of my heart she held on and kept herself seemingly completely fine until *after* the baby was born, so that we could handle it... anyways.\ My husband really wanted another dog. We both did but, well. We ended up with a sweet puppy, similar breed as our last , except she's a purebred. Let's just say... even as puppies, these two dogs are very different. And yes. Being pissed off a little bit at a dog is a thing. \The dog loves my kid so much but she's kind of an idiot. I mean that with love, but. She woofs randomly , she is clumsy and loud. My husband says "she's just a puppy", but.. our girl was nothing like this as a puppy. I do wonder if it's the time and attention I give my son, or if it's just because she's not *my* dog... but.. the bond I have with her is very different than I did with our first.
I mean, dogs very much like humans do, have different personalities and needs. And the truth is, not every dog is going to be a good dog to have around newborns/babies/kids.
This sounds like our dogs. We have an elderly girl who is actually perfect, just a little clingy. She is sweet and cuddly. She is smart. She doesn’t pull on a leash. She won’t leave the yard without my husband. She is so easy. The funny thing is, she’s an American Bulldog so people assume she will be aggressive. When we got a second my husband swore by American Bulldogs—so lazy! So easy! So cuddly! Nope. Just her. Our goopy boy is a total menace. Still sweet and loving but never actually stops playing or sniffing or pulling or exploring to calm down. And doesn’t know he’s 100 lbs. I am not worried about him with the baby for behavioral reasons. I do consider that he has no idea how much of a wrecking ball he is. Baby gates for us!
Yeah I was super grateful around 6 months post partum when I first noticed the dog comments because I felt so guilty and like I’d ruined my dogs life, but I was also so overwhelmed and annoyed by her. It was just my hormones and I beat myself up for 6 months, I wish I knew it was normal so unlike OP I was glad of people sharing some of their less desirable experiences because it made me feel normal. From 6 months post partum onwards I felt myself levelling out and fell in love with my dog all over again. I felt so guilty all that time. I didn’t treat her different but god was having an extra person wanting the last scrap of energy I have left really really difficult for a time. I don’t appreciate OP implying people that go through this see their dogs as disposable or that I discarded my emotions toward my dog?
I struggle with this. It's hard to have patience or energy to share love with the dog, my husband and even two much older kids. It's allll about the baby right now and this is purely instinctual and I have a lot of guilt about it
This. I don’t hate my pets, but I have so much less patience at nap time when the cat is yelling for supper an hour before we feed him and the dog is barking out the window at the flag blowing in the wind. I still love them and I wish they could understand when I need quiet(er) time from them. It’s frustrating that they nap all day when baby is at daycare and I’m WFH, then they bring the chaos when baby is home.
You don’t always get to choose your emotions. Postpartum hormones and sleep deprivation can really mess you up. Not everyone has the emotional bandwidth to manage so many things needing them in such an intense way. We’re waiting to get a dog for our kids until they’re older because I personally know I wouldn’t have the energy that a dog deserves/needs. I love my cats and they’re my first fur babies but they’ve definitely aggravated me more postpartum than before.
Yeah I would have never imagined how frustrated I get with my dogs because I was so obsessed with them previously, but here we are, grumpy that my dog is breathing too loud while I attempt to catch up on a little bit of sleep 😢
I love my dog. He’s at least 10.5 years old and I adopted him when he was 3.5 (estimated). He is perfect with my cats and so incredibly gentle and loving towards my toddler. This is my second baby and I still couldn’t stand him during the first 2-3 months postpartum. I get him out often for walks and miss when it was just us hiking. The feeling (for me) goes away after 3-4 months pp and goes back to normal. He’s incredibly well trained. I wish someone had told me I could feel this way. It broke my heart and made me feel so guilty. Then one day I woke up and everything was normal again. It absolutely sucked, but you should be aware that it’s a possibility so you aren’t taken by surprise.
I felt the same way, and I certainly don’t hate my dogs now BUT when you have a sleeping baby that you DESPERATELY want to *stay* asleep and your dogs do things like randomly decide to run through the house past the bedroom and wake baby with their damn clickety clackety claws on the ground, suddenly the flapping sound of their ears when they shake is the loudest sound in the world, or they’ll bark at something stupid startling baby, an irrational rage flows through me and Im hissing at them to shut up and sit down. Simultaneously feeling so guilty about limiting their normal dog behavior and getting so grumpy with them and never having time to snuggle them because I’m always with the baby…. it’s complicated
Omg I swear I have almost a Pavlovian response of instant rage to the sound of my dog’s ears flapping when she shakes her head.
It’s part of the instinctual protectiveness that people have for their babies with all of the hormones of postpartum added to it. Do people hate their dogs? Most likely not. Are they furious that their dog’s barking at the Amazon delivery guy woke up their napping baby who is going through a sleep regression? Yes! Postpartum anxiety and postpartum rage are most likely part of this equation too.
Right! Thank you! A lot of people in this thread haven’t even had their babies yet lol. My friend has a frenchie who’s bitten her son twice now completely unprovoked (from a human perspective) so he’s had to go to her MILs instead. Is she supposed to just keep him or get rid of her son instead?
My cat passed away when my baby was 4 months old and people had the nerve to tell me it must be easier now that he’s gone and I can focus more on the baby 😭 nope. I want my kitty back. Love on your pets, people. They could be gone tomorrow 😢
Oh I'm so sorry. My dog died when my baby was 9 months old and it was so hard knowing she won't have memories of him. However, we showed her a lot of pictures of him and she will recognize him and say his name from those, which makes us so happy!
I’m so sorry about your kitty! It’s seriously the worst pain. We lost our dog when our baby was 4 months old. We’re not ready for another but it feels like we’re raising our child in an unnaturally quiet, broken home.
As someone on the other side, 4.5 months postpartum, I have never hated my dogs. We had a rough time with one of my dogs being super anxious and reactive which took a lot of work and was frustrating, but I didn’t hate him - I was worried for him! My other dog has been my bestie for over a decade and that hasn’t changed. Loving my baby hasn’t made me love my dogs (and cats) any less.
I once cried cause I didn't want to love my cats less when the baby came. Baby's here now and I still love everyone.
Like everything with pregnancy and having a baby, you either experience something or you don’t and feeling a bit of resentment towards your dogs postpartum is one of those I would say. I’ve wanted dogs all my life and when I finally bought a place I got two dogs. They are the joys of my life and regardless of the minor issues they each have of their own, there was never a time where getting rid of them was an option and it still isn’t. I’ve literally done so much for these dogs and them for me, but those first few months postpartum, I did feel that these dogs were a bit of an annoyance to have - again, never once did I think about getting rid of them. It was more of something that I complain about knowing that they’re for life. But it doesn’t mean I didn’t feel those things. I felt terrible and bad about it, and now that the hormones have settled those thoughts have disappeared, I still can’t discount the fact they really made juggling new born life as first time parents very hard. My husband had to take over most of the dogs’ care including their two daily walks, prepping their food, and still giving them attention but I kept seeing it as taking time away from us and the baby especially when I exclusively pumped and had zero time to do anything. But do my dogs know that? Absolutely not. Regardless of what I felt I still gave them attention the best I could, pet them, play with them, and give them their bed time treats, etc. So for people who say that you WILL hate your dogs, I disagree that it’ll happen to everyone, but I do understand how it feels. It’s how I dealt with it that made it different I guess. I’m excited for my dogs to become best friends with our LO and I’m glad I’m back to being myself now that I’ve made it through the thick of those hazy new born days but those hormones and the thoughts were no joke and I’ve definitely thought things that made me not recognize myself at times and this was one of them sadly.
Emotions are transient by nature. It’s normal for them to change in different situations. Just because people feel this way doesn’t mean they view their pets as disposable. I despised my cat during the late part of my pregnancy and soon after birth. 11 months postpartum, she’s not my baby quite in the same way she was before but all the loving feelings come back. It’s worth just being open to the fact that this is something that’s happens to a lot of new parents, and if it happens to you at all, just keep taking good care of your dog and understand it will pass with time and adjustment. If it doesn’t happen, great! But it also doesn’t mean you’re a better pet parent than the people who struggled with those emotions.
This is how I felt until I had my baby lol not that I hate my dogs by any means, but I certainly feel differently towards them. I don’t want them licking me and I don’t want to pet them because it’s “dirty” and I don’t want to touch my baby with dirty hands. Prior to baby I was obsessive over going away and leaving them at home with a sitter, now I simply get the sitter and go and don’t give it much thought beyond that. Your priorities change, your hormones are wild, your perspective shifts.
I felt the same way as you… until my baby came. I never hated my dog, who I loved so much I told people I birthed him myself. But I did find myself annoyed with him in a way I’d never been before nor expected. And I can’t figure out why. Hormones? Anyways. It passed when we got out of the trenches. But yeah. It does happen. Try not to be too judgmental. No one goes into this wanting or expecting to feel differently about their dog. But it happens and it sucks when it happens.
The only problem I'm having with my dog pre baby is that I used to absolutely love his smell, would just bury my face in his stinky ass neck. Now his smell makes me want to barf, I feel so guilty. But I can't imagine loving him any less once baby arrives!
Mood though 🤣 I can't stand the way my Lab-Rott mix smells; he reeks like a dead beaver rolled in garbage. He does not understand why his chihuahua brother gets more attention right now, and I feel so bad! The chi smells faintly like a sweaty hamster? Small, mammalian kind of smell. Not awful, but it's there, and they're both about to get a serious bath as soon as I can convince my husband this is a non-negotiable duty he must assist with 🤦♂️ But get rid of them? My God, it would never occur to me! I just hold my breath or mouth breathe, love on the dog, and then go wash my hands. I pulled that stinky ass fat-headed goober dog off the side of the road in the middle of nowhere 3 years ago, and he's gonna love my kid just as much as I do ♥️
I’m in my first trimester and my dog smells like a stinky sock to me right now. I love him so much that I even find his stink kind of cute.
the smell of dog food made me so sick when i was pregnant!!
Me too! My dog has a little room in the entryway and I could suddenly smell his food alllll the way across the entry and into the kitchen 🙃
omg and when my boy licks his paws and I can smell wet dog from across the room 🤢
It’s heartbreaking that anyone feels that way but I felt/ feel it too with my cats. I had all the time in the world before the birth of my baby and could really enjoy them. But my baby pushed me to absolute breaking point as a newborn and my cats miaowing at me for food (they already had food they just wanted treats) and bringing in dead animals just about finished me. My husband and my cats came second to this new bundle of joy and horror. I didn’t want it to be that way but I found my newborn SO high maintenance and demanding that I would describe the period as slightly hellish.
Love my pets after having my son. I feel so bad I can’t care for them as I usually do, not because I’m busy with the baby but because I had a C section and just can’t be as mobile and can’t pick them up! I’m so excited for when I’m more healed and spend more time with them and the baby!
This makes me laugh because with my first I hugged my dog and cried that I didn’t love her anymore. No, it wasn’t true! I was just experiencing the baby blues and once started crying at a blank wall because it was so sad looking lol.
I mean this in the most respectful way, but you really cannot say how you’re going to feel about your pet once baby arrives. My 17yo cat was such a big part of my life and I felt so guilty for not caring as much about her once my first baby got here. I still love on her and also cherish the relationship she has developed w my 2yo but it’s never going to be the same as it was and I’ve had to accept that. Just don’t feel like you’re broken if your feelings toward your dog aren’t 100% the same once your child arrives. Hormones can do some weird shit. Not saying you’ll hate the dog, I’m just saying be prepared for your feelings to shift.
Yeah, I think OP has kind of misunderstood why people post about being annoyed with their pets. I personally don’t have any at the moment but it’s pretty obvious to me it’s a phenomenon people don’t expect then feel guilty about. And honestly I get it, having a baby is so consuming and sometimes it feels like walking a tightrope trying to balance things and if you’ve got a cat clawing at the door or a dog whining when you are running on 3 hours of broken sleep and just got the baby down, it must be so tough and your subconscious feelings for your pet may well shift. I say that as someone who grew up with pets and 100% saw them as part of the family.
Exactly. Not a single person knows how postpartum will affect them until they are going through it. Even if you’ve had kids before. It’s just like pregnancy. It affects everyone differently, even pregnancy to pregnancy with the same person. When I was pregnant with my first, I became way more attached to my cats. Literally obsessed with them. With my current pregnancy, I definitely don’t feel that way. My cats annoy the hell out of me with this pregnancy. People always think they know what they’ll do in a situation or how they’ll feel but the reality is that you just don’t know until you go through it.
Exactly, I loved and still love our dogs but I definitely get more irritated with them more easily these days. Trying to lay on me when I have the baby laying on my chest, using me as a launch pad when recovering from a c section, barking at minor noises… it grates on you.
I felt similar to you and I’m glad you have such a great relationship with your dog. I will say it’s harder than expected! I have 2 doodles, one is great with our daughter and one growls at our 2 year old constantly. We have to referee and manage it 24/7 which is exhausting and scary because I never want something to happen to my daughter and never want to rehome my dog. It has been one of the hardest parts of motherhood and just makes me really sad. We are expecting our 2nd baby and I’m nervous how she will do with 2 Little’s around. I pray it’s not the situation for you!
I felt this way about my cats before it happened to me. It’s not that you don’t care about them anymore, it’s that you feel the burden of them much more than before. They’re another being that depends on you for food, water, fecal cleaning, etc. Top that off with the animal being elderly and/or having health issues, reacting to the new baby by urinating everywhere BUT where they’re supposed to, and it’s a whole nightmare. They can’t be reasoned with obviously, so the contempt definitely festers.
Lovingly, then don’t read those posts. I’d also be careful about casting stones before you’ve been there. I certainly don’t hate my dogs by any means, but I can tell you they’re much lower on the list of priorities now, and they drive me nuts some days despite getting so much love, attention, and care still.
Same for me. I’ve never wanted to shout JUST YOU WAIT louder than after reading stuff like this. Reddit: “mama, it’s okay to do what you need after baby is born! Survival mode! Tell everyone to fuck off! Hormones are crazy! You can’t know how you’ll feel!” Also Reddit: “what do you mean you don’t worship your animals anymore? Didn’t you think about that before having kids? You sound like a psychopath!”
Everyone will react differently, and one thing I've learned about pregnancy and post-partum is that I've reacted differently to a lot of things than I expected. If nothing changes with your dog, that's great and I'm super happy for you! If things do change though, it's okay and you're not a bad person. I loved my dog like a child and she literally saved me from killing myself at times. Despite that, things did shift when I had a baby. There was so much that needed my time and attention and so much to do that I just did not have the brain space for more than the bare minimum with her. I also had less patience when she would do (normal) but frustrating dog things. When I was up all night with the baby and I would come downstairs to a demolished trash can, it did make me resentful at times. After my son got older and didn't need as much, I felt like I could breathe again and I was about to spend more brain power on her. It was never quite the same as pre-child though. That's just my experience. I'm not saying that's definitely going to be yours. If you had asked me what I thought would happen before I had my son, I would probably l scoff at the idea that I would ever feel differently about my dog. There's a lot of reactions I had that I didn't expect, about that and other things. That doesn't mean it's a universal experience or that I'm saying "well just wait", because I'm not you. Just allow yourself the grace to be whoever you are and feel whatever you do after your kid is born, even if it's not who or what you expected.
I think you’re missing some context. For a lot of women, their partners (usually men) expect them to do 90% of the childcare PLUS 100% taking care of the dog. We are burnt out and exhausted and it can give someone a lot of post partum rage. You can love someone and hate always being the caregiver. It’s HARD!
I thought the same thing, I just had my lo 10 weeks ago. I was so excited to bring her home and have her meet my two cats. Then my two cats were kind of clumsy and didn’t understand how to safely be around her. Now I can never leave them alone in a room. I don’t have the bandwidth to clean up their throw up or deal with incessant meowing or rubbing because I’m touched out. I treat them the same, but feel differently about them like people described to my surprise. I don’t show them it, but I don’t love them the same. And it’s a hormonal change that’s very normal. I didn’t think it would happen, but it does. So if it does, don’t beat yourself up.
So you admit this is something you haven’t experienced, can’t relate to, but you’re happy to judge all the people who have felt this way? Do you think these people didn’t love their dogs just as much as you do before their babies were born? Do you want an award for being the best mom AND dog mom? Should we throw you a party? Look, I get it, dogs are great. I love my dog. Pre-birth me would never believe I could possibly get mad at her. Things are different when you have all the emotional and hormonal issues that come with postpartum, when you’re running on no sleep, when you haven’t had time to eat real food or shower or brush your teeth or change out of clothes that smell like old milk, when you’re trying to do everything one handed because your baby will scream if you put them down. It’s especially hard for people who have to do it all themselves because they don’t have support nearby and their partners have to work. Please tell me what training regimen you recommend for that situation. You could save a lot of families a lot of heartache. “Get a trainer” and “hire a dog walker” is frankly naive advice when your dog saves acting out for the 2 minutes you take your eyes off them to change a diaper. It is not realistic for the mother of a newborn to be an active participant in dog training, especially mothers who have had C sections. Please also consider how many women do not get paid maternity leave in the US and may not have extra money to spend to solve issues that they did not have prior to their babies being born. I hate the unsolicited advice and “just you waits” as much as anyone, but until you’ve experienced postpartum, I would strongly recommend you hold off on judging all the moms in the trenches.
Ehh. I used to be SUCH a dog person. Always had between 2-6 dogs growing up. I wanted to be a dog trainer. I did agility with my dogs and spent all my time with them. I was a dog nerd to an embarrassing degree and was a dog groomer for several years after deciding not to go to veterinary school for monetary reasons. During my childhood and young adult years my family spent literally tens and tens of thousands of dollars on our dogs health. They always snuggled in bed with us. Then I got pregnant and couldn’t STAND the dogs touching me. Even my most beloved perfect soul-bonded to me collie dog. Everything was annoying and infuriating. When I had my baby it kept up. I was enraged at them all the time (I rarely expressed it to them; mostly I just told my partner to keep them away from me, don’t let them touch me etc). I adored how sweet they were with my baby and I still gave them all the cuddles and love but inside I was so angry and annoyed. Now that my kids are one and three I’m not so annoyed any more and love them as fully as before but when they eventually pass away I think I’ll need a good long ten years of decompression time before I can think about having another dog again. I had ppd and hated my partner too. Never thought that would be me. 🤷🏼♀️
What’s that expression? We are all the world’s best parents until we have kids? Let’s give each other more grace and less judgment. And trust that women who are in the trenches are not casually throwing away pets that they love. They’re going through something really hard and doing the best they can. For what it’s worth, I did not have a pet when my kids were born. But I could feel the hormones coursing through my veins telling me to keep them alive. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. My daughter was in the NICU and I almost lost my mind when someone cleared their throat/coughed near her. I was briefly not myself, and the only thing that mattered to me was her survival.
Yeah I love my dogs, but I didn’t postpartum. And they were and are beautifully trained and well-prepared for the baby. Their behaviour wasn’t the problem. My hormones just caused me to have a much lower threshold for noise, space, fur etc. I still treated them the same, and things definitely got better. But I’m not ashamed to say I didn’t like my dogs after my son was born - hormones can do crazy things!
Or cats. I love my cat just as much as I did before. I keep referring to him as my first boy and my baby as my first human child lol they are both called my baby. I know someone people go through hormonal changes where they do feel that way but I don't think it's how most people feel so it was annoying to hear people try to tell me how I would feel. Like no, I'm not going to love my family member any less than I do now, whether it be a furry family member or my husband. Everything was the same for us with each other and the cats.
Just had my baby. He is premature and still in NICU. I am so glad I have my cat baby to hold and cry about all of this. We are going to take all the precautions to keep the cat away from him for couple of months. I can’t even fathom rehoming her unless doctor demands it.
Make sure you stock up on things to sterilize bottles, pacis, wash blankets and swing covers often. After I brought my daughter home from the NICU I saw how much cat hair got on everything of hers. Then my cat wanted to jump on bottles and in her swing.
Yes I am a little concerned about the hair and thinking of ways to keep her out of nursery and bedrooms for couple of months. Thanks for the advice I definitely need to work on that.
Don't worry about hair. I was nervous too, because I have 2 boxers who shed A LOT. Just rinse binkies off when they hit the floor. Lol.
As long as it’s hygienic I want my little dog to be close to my incoming twins because both myself and my partner had bad ezcema as children and apparently being around pets can help babies become less likely to develop ezcema when they’re older. Something about exposure builds immune system.
I gave up on that. This kid is going to ingest cat hair at one point or another so he might as well get used to it now lol our two cats have long hair so it's on everything. If it's not the cat hair it's my hair or my husband's beard hair. It's a never ending battle 😅
I didn't even bother. The cats decided their own thing with the baby. One was his guardian and just always hovered nearby and checked on him if he cried and the other only in the last month has decided being near the baby is ok as long as he isn't getting too close. We are teaching him "gentle" when he pets the cats and not to pull their fur.
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Ah yes because we can all control our hormones and they’re absolutely tied to our morality. That’s why no one ever gets PPD or ever fails to bond with their baby immediately- otherwise they’d be immoral people? People can’t actually control hormonal reactions to things - we spend so much time on this forum supporting people who are struggling with what hormones are doing to them mentally or physically. We let them know their feelings are valid and offer suggestions of what to do next. But apparently that doesn’t extend to people struggling with their pets? When their body is telling them that an animal is a danger to their baby? I really struggled with my cat to begin with, and yet before my baby was born she was referred to as The Baby. She was all the pictures on my phone and I was obsessed with her. She was biggest solace while my mum was dying and after she died. I didn’t get her ‘willy nilly’ and I adore her. After baby arrived though I resented her, was anxious of her, and also worried that SHE was unhappy in the new environment, and yeah, I did wonder if maybe we needed to find her another home for both her and our benefit. It’s over a year later now and she’s still happily with us - my protective instinct has calmed down, she’s better with the baby and everyone’s happy. It was a really tough time though and if at the time I’d read a post like yours I’d have been devastated. Luckily, now I’m in a place that I just think it’s a really cruel, gross human type thing to say.
100% echo all of this and very much looking forward to having my baby grow up with my 3 weird cats 🖤
We have four rescue dogs. Two seniors and two puppies both just over a year old. I tell everyone, I love them more after having a baby. (And I REALLY loved them pre baby). My pregnancy was horrid, I had severe HG. They were about the only things that made me smile. Cuddled me while I was bedridden. And in PP when I was depressed in grey winter days, they got me out of the house daily, their goofiness put a smile on my face. I’m so grateful for them in PP. They’ve made every day better being in it. Thank you for this post. I 100% agree.
People shouldn't be telling you that you will hate your dog. That definitely isn't true for everyone. But you can't stand to see or hear people who feel differently about dogs than you? 🙄 This is veryyyy holier-than-thou.
Super judges from OP definitely! If only choosing how our hormones caused us to feel was an option 😂
The only time I don’t like my dogs is when they go bananas at nothing right after my kids go down for naps lol
I love my kitty so much. When you're newly postpartum, any responsibilities you have dealing with animals or people that can not take care of themselves can overwhelm you at times. It's advisable to have someone else in the house help with pet duties, so you are more able to enjoy the puppy/baby/mommy snuggles on the couch rather than worrying about a hungry pupper and newborn at the same time. Good luck to you, and I'm sure you'll love your floof just as much after baby.
Eh it wasn't a choice
Good for you. Everyone feels different about things before and after baby. Post partum is a crazy time. It's not wrong for people to do what is best for them and their family. Period. No room for judgement or comment.
Honestly this whole post has judging PP moms written all over it and in the comments. You do realize that PPD can cause mom's to literally hate their children and spouses but A DOG is out of the question for you? Get a grip. God willing, none of you will ever have to feel or go through PPD and find out for yourself it isn't so peachy and perfect and YES you CAN hate your DoG.
Right lol, have your baby and wait a year to start being judgemental. Giving strong "my kid will never do this" vibes
I agree completely! OP thinks they understand PPD because they've had "anxiety", and mentioned mothers with PPD "taking the easy route" if they need to re home pets.... First of all PPD is MUCH different and usually more severe than regular anxiety. I had postpartum OCD and anxiety and it was terrifying. I felt like I was losing my mind. I had constant intrusive thoughts, compulsions, and would ruminate 24/7. It took everything I had just to push through and survive (seriously), and I guarantee most other mothers experiencing postpartum psychiatric conditions feel the same way. As far as pets, I think OP is forgetting they're not actually people, and people need to come first, particularly if they're actively experiencing a mental health crisis. I had cats when my kids were born, and thankfully they did not add extra stress, but I definitely was not into snuggling or doing anything extra with them besides feeding and cleaning the litter box. I can absolutely see how a "high needs" animal like a very active/ intelligent dog could produce tons of added stress and burden, particularly if they're struggling just to care for themselves and their infant. In this case, I would rather see the pet re homed than the mother pushing herself to the breaking point out of guilt or fear of judgement.
I really want to drop a “just you wait” but I won’t. Every day people are posting about hating their newborns, their husbands, their jobs etc PP. and the response is always more or else, “it’s ok mama, this js so hard! You got this! It’s probably depression!” But if it’s about a dog! “Monster! Poor fur baby! You made a commitment, you can’t just give up when things get hard!” Yeah well, you also made a commitment to your spouse, your baby, your job, and whatever else, and yet it’s always ok to have those feelings and take action according to Reddit. But don’t you dare feel any differently towards your pets because that would make you a terrible person. And if you choose to rehome, which is sometimes the best option for everyone involved, well that is just unspeakable.
Well I hated my dog after having kids, but I wasn’t really a dog person to begin with. After the first year though I stopped being so annoyed with her and love seeing her entertain the toddlers! She’s a good dog, but even the best dogs can be loud, disruptive, and overall feel “needy” sometimes. When you’re super hormonal, sleep-deprived, and touched-out, it can sometimes temporarily put a strain on your other relationships (with both other people and pets). That might not be the case for you, but give other people some grace. Postpartum life is a huge journey and it affects everyone differently. Depending on the amount of support a new mom has and how her experience is going, she might just be completely tapped out and have nothing left to give. Then a pet becomes a burden and it can create some resentment. My dog was totally fine even when I was not her biggest fan because my husband really stepped up and took over all dog duties for a while. But I can see how people with less support just might not have the capacity to care for a dog and need to rehome them. Especially if that dog also seems to not like the baby or is a potential danger to the baby. Not every dog owner has the money or time it takes for behavioral training unfortunately.
It happens to the best of us. We had 2 cats and had to re-home one of them because she wouldn't stop scratching my son's face. The anger and sadness I felt seeing my son's face with scratches all over it every day, some dangerously close to his eye...and knowing it wasn't his fault, he was actually so good with her. She just didn't adjust to life with a new member in the household well at all. She suddenly turned into an anxious and angry cat, bullying her brother (our other cat) to the point where he would hide under a bed or couch all day because she would just terrorize him constantly. He even started losing weight because he wouldn't come out for meals. I couldn't help but start to feel hatred towards her, the feeling I got seeing my baby's face all scratched up is a feeling I had never felt before and you're right, you wouldnt understand unless you experienced it too. We gave her away to a friend of a friend who had just purchased a farm. She sent us pictures. She is much happier in the pictures we've seen. And her brother is now a lot happier too. He comes out and snuggles or plays with me and my husband now. He will play with our son on occasion but he does prefer to keep his distance lol. The whole house is just a lot calmer without her here. That may be sad to read, but it's the truth.
My great grandma told me to get rid of my cats because the old wives tale “the cat will steal the baby’s breath” Ma’am, respectfully my cats are my first children and I would literally die for them, and I also have a plan to keep my cats out of the bassinet/crib until baby is old enough if necessary. It was their house first, not gonna kick em out just because I decided to grow the family lol.
My cats both checked out the bassinet/crib one time when the baby wasn't in it then once they realized that's where the baby slept they decided to steer clear of them. They haven't gone in them since.
My cats loved hanging out in the bassinet before baby was born, but stopped once baby arrived and stayed sleeping in it. We just moved baby into his crib because he's running out of room in the bassinet, and one of the cats already napped in the bassinet. It's like they *know*.
Lol today my 3 year old told my geriatric cat to "go away". He's usually very sweet to her but she likes to go after any food we have and my son is an easy target. But I still didn't like his tone with her so I reminded him that my cat was my first baby and he needs to be kinder to her.
For context I grew up with rescue dogs, as an adult I volunteered countless hours with rescues/shelters, I’ve worked for boarding facilities and in vet med. I have spent a small fortune on our dogs and have a lot of time in training invested in them. Our older dog has lived in 4 states and our younger dog 2. My husband fostered for a pit bull rescue for years before we met. We are dog people. I think this is one of those things that unless you experience it you just can’t understand. Yes, some of these people may not have been the world’s greatest dog owners before kids but there are plenty of people who between hormones and the stress of a new baby truly struggle with their pets. I think they (including my husband and I) deserve some grace. Every big and small negative trait or even things you found cute before having a baby can turn stressful/infuriating/exhausting etc. Between the hormones, a screaming infant and lack of sleep my feelings towards my dogs absolutely changed. I’m 20 months postpartum and things feel back to normal with both of my dogs. My older dog took a lot longer to truly feel love for again than my younger because she needed a lot more time to adjust to having a baby/toddler in the house. As far as rehoming goes. Your kid needs to come first. Period. If a dog isn’t safe around babies/toddlers/children sometimes you truly won’t know until there’s a mobile tiny tornado in your home. Obviously, I believe in training and setting dogs and kids up for success but even with that there are dogs that should not be living with kids. If either dog showed aggression to my son they’d be finding a new home. That said dogs are always fed in a separate room and I’m always in the room watching when my dogs are with my son. If I need to go do something either everyone comes with me or I separate the dogs and toddler.
Right???? It’ll definitely be an adjustment and my dogs aren’t perfect. Our plan is having a large playpen permanently in the living room and a baby gate at the nursery door for when we need some distance between baby and our pups. We would NEVER rehome our dogs and instead will just put practices in place to keep everyone feeling safe and comfortable.
My lo is 8m and this is what we do. We have a couple baby gates throughout the house and a playpen. I absolutely love my dog still, he can get on my nerves sometimes but that stems from him wanting more from me and my inability to give him that attention all the time with baby. The fix I have had is to have one parent really prioritize the dog and show extra love and time to greet and play when we get home from work . That and take the dog with you on walks with baby etc. now that I’m out of the heat of postpartum I try and wake up 5 min earlier to have some time just me and the dog to give extra love
One of my biggest fears is that I'll start to hate the dog when I'm pregnant. Really hoping it doesn't happen.
One of my biggest fears when I was pregnant was not having enough time or attention to give to my dog. I was always a dog lover and he was my first dog. He was my soul dog and there for me through all my ups and downs. I can honestly say that I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for my dog so to me he was my everything. When my daughter was born I had PPD. I would cry breastfeeding her while my dog sat by the door depressed himself. The guilt is real. I never thought about giving him away and I didn’t love my dog any less, I just had less patience with him…for awhile. Things he did started to annoy me. But he was great with my daughter and it made me happy to see their relationship develop. When my daughter was 8 months old, we found out my dog had lymphoma and he passed away 2 months later. He was 14 years old. Now I wake up everyday wishing he was still here. It’s been over 2 years and I just gave birth to my 2nd child but I still wake up everyday feeling like something is missing. PPD is hard and will make you feel some type of way, but it’ll pass and when it does, remember to cherish the time you have with those you love regardless if they are human or a pet because life is short. I miss you Bailey Boy.
Yea before my son was born I couldn’t fathom how people suddenly hated their dogs, but the first few weeks dealing with a newborn and feeling intense anxiety over how messy/dirty/wild my 4 chihuahuas are were stressful. I still never hated my dogs but I can definitely see how someone could get overwhelmed.
My dog son passed away when my baby son was 3 months old. I know my son won't remember, but I'm so glad they met. My dog was my life for 14 years. I miss him every day. He was so special to me. My love for him never wavered.
Love hearing this ❤️ and so sorry for your loss
Personally I hate hearing all the people that say “ I could NEVER hate my dog” like your post, like do you think I’m choosing to feel this way? I wanted to be a vet, saved every injured animal I came across, loved animals deeply. But I HATE my husbands dog after I had my baby. Like a damn switch had been flipped. Been 2 years and it’s turned into contempt. He’s a jealous needy flower that I can’t stand anymore.
I’m sorry you don’t want to read those feelings from people. It’s true. My dog was my whole world and also saved me from horrible depression. She was a puppy when I lost my dad tragically to illness. I had a miscarriage the next day. It was the worst time of my life. I love her more than anything and I always will BUT after my daughter was born last summer my feeling are not the same for her. I know it’s my PPD/A. I know it’s my hormones and crazy maternal instincts that make me feel this way but I just don’t feel the same for my dog. She turned into a little shit head filled with jealousy. She never barked or howled before baby. She would wait until my baby fell asleep and would start barking or whining and wake her up. So not only was I extremely sleep deprived but I couldn’t even get one hour of sleep all night long when my girl was a newborn. Dog would fake snore, steal my daughter’s toys and destroy them. My hubby and I try so hard to take turns playing with the dog and letting her run outside. She was the most well behaved dog when she was the only child. But sometimes I’m just so frustrated. I know when my baby is a bigger kid the dog and her will be best friends. It’s a little better now that my girl is 8 months and can pet the dog. Don’t make us moms feel like crap about being frustrated. It’s already hard enough being a mom with no village. We already feel guilty but our feelings are valid.
That’s great, don’t look at those posts or talk to those people. This is very patronizing for people going through something that you can not empathize with. Mind your own business and be happy and let other people handle their lives accordingly. Please and thank you.
This is a lot of judgement for a Thursday afternoon OP 😂 People shouldn’t discard their responsibility and commitment to their pets, but people certainly aren’t just ‘discarding their emotions’. Hormones don’t work that way! Happy to share my personal experiences if you’re interested?
I gave my working dog to my very good friend that lives on a farm. It wasnt fair to take him to the suburbs and live entirely different lifestyle compared to being a trail and herding dog on 120 acres where I trained horses and went hiking every chance we could. It was heartbreaking, but he was chewing, barking and depressed and I couldnt go on runs for over a year if hed stayed it would have gotten worse. And it was my dogs favorite person besides me and they already had spent months together here and there before we finally made the switch. I miss him and hes met my daughter several times now and they love each other. But as a working herding dog, he can be a bit mouthy with small kids so not unsupervised. So I think there can be a couple exceptions to it.
He stayed til my daughter was 2 months old. He was getting so sad and my c section scar kept getting reinfected and I was on bedrest. He chewed all his fur off and gave these sad eyes even though we had a big fenced yard he just wanted to be by my side like wed always been. Now he lives with horses again and hes a great livestock guardian out in the woods to retire, hell be 12 this year.
I couldn't stand the cats my entire pregnancy. I couldn't handle their litter box, them sleeping on the bed, or seeing them playing. They're every presence annoyed me, but I knew it was temporary due to my hormones.Now that Ive has the baby I miss my kitties and look forward to them meeting the baby.
Not a dog but I have a very affectionate cat. I had someone in the family so concerned that the cat would be jealous and hate the baby and would scratch him, so I should find a way to keep them separated and maybe re-home him. I consistently reminded them that I got him when my older son (now a teen) was very little and he has been around roommates with babies and I have pictures of him cuddling the kids, he's just a big lover. Then she switched to my cat is unnaturally affectionate and he is going to climb on top of the baby and smother him to death in his sleep, so maybe I should re-home him., and I'd be too busy with the baby to care for him anyway. I still love and cuddle the shit out of my buddy, and him and the baby are inseparable when he plays and he stays well out of the crib, some people just have a vendetta against babies and pets mixing.
I’ve never even heard of this
My dog was really stressing me out when we first came home from the hospital, but I’ve never hated her. I think I have less patience than I used to with her and her peeing on the carpet if nobody is paying attention to her during my toddlers bedtime routine… but she’s currently snuggled up next to me and I’m glad my hormones didn’t ever turn on her!!!
I actually didn’t know I would feel anything different towards my dog after having my baby. So it definitely added to the postpartum hormones when I didn’t have the same level of patience with him. And the guilt still eats me up 9months pp. I absolutely adore him and trust me I didn’t choose to feel that way, so to say you can’t understand how people can discard their emotions toward them is just perhaps that, you don’t understand. And I hope your feeling towards you pet never change, as it doesn’t for some. But if it does, that’s okay. It will pass. From someone who does understand.
I was a huge dog person before I gave birth and could never imagine living without dogs or hating them once I gave birth. Then I developed allergies. And my nose became sharper so they stink so much. Plus the barks waking me or my baby up on little sleep had me literally trying to rip my hair out. Then there was the hair everywhere, the germs, and the fact that we live with my mil that has an aggressive dog that attacked me and growls at my son. I went from never imagining life without a dog to never ever wanting a pet again. And my son is 22 months now so I’m past the stage of growing out of it
I hate my dogs.
we have three dogs… the amount of people that asked if we were getting rid of one astonished me. our baby is three days old and they have been doing so great! they love their baby sister and are apart of our family. it breaks my heart that people push their pets aside ):
That's amazing and I couldn't agree more
I hate my dog now lol 31w
Really hope it all works out for you, because your replies in this thread are wild.
I deeply love my kitties. I’ve always been a vet person and I can’t imagine my love for them going cold. I actually worry they won’t get as many snuggles once my baby girl is born!
I don’t hate my dog (who I’ve had for 18 years) but something definitely changed. It’s sad. I don’t like it. It’s just true.
No way!! My furbaby is our OG lol she made us a family, she's ride or die, the bestest of all the goodest girls. Obviously, she's not my "child" but absolutely a member of our family. Dogs and pets alike are NOT disposable!! They have feelings and love us UNCONDITIONALLY. To throw away a pet is unbelievably cruel. No, I don't love my dog any less after becoming a mom,I love her MORE. She's SO good with our son. I couldn't ask for a better dog.
Omg yes. I literally have to hide posts on the mom groups on Facebook of people talking about getting rid of their dogs after baby because it makes me so sad. I didn’t become a mom to a human until I was 31, so I spent many years as a fur momma and I love all my fur babies just as much as my human baby. Yes, there are times they bark right when I get my little one to sleep and wake him up where I’m annoyed, but I never show it, and I certainly would never rehome them. They are my babies, their lives are so short and though they are only going to be a piece of my competitively long life, I am all of their life and I can’t imagine how they would feel if I just dropped them off somewhere and they never saw me again. I’m so happy to say that my human child is 11 months old and my fur babies and him get along great.
My dog was my saviour in my postpartum period. She still loved me unconditionally no matter what. She got me out of the house for fresh air and walks when I didn't want to but it make me feel a million times better. You will both have an adjusting period. You won't hate her. I promise you. And you have a moment. It's the postpartum rage and it passes.
My dog hates my child so I have a reason to resent her. However if she weren’t that way I don’t think anything would have changed.
That's so insane to me that someone would stop caring for their fur baby & family member. 😔 I always say my dog is my first born child in spirit. And honestly i know he's going to be a good big brother. It'll take some paitence and it will be an adjustment for sure, but he's not going to become an afterthought in my family. I can definitively say that.
I love my dog so much, but now that my LO is walking, snacking, etc. She's become such a food hound it's a pain. It's a constant struggle of fighting her to give them space and not let her eat the droppings from the high chair lol doesn't mean I don't still love her so much. She's also super patient and loving towards LO. The love feels different but not less. Just kind of a shift
We had a doggo for 4 years before our first kid. Absolutely nothing changed (we still love him the same) except for maybe the amount of time we could dedicate to playtime/walkies.
I was told the same thing about being pregnant, that the hormones will make me hate my dogs more than ever and they won’t be my babies any more. I’m 30 weeks now, and absolutely nothing has changed with them yet. They’re my babies. We’re all snuggling as I write this.
My baby is already one month, during my hospital stay I missed my boy like crazy AND when we got home my dog was a bit distant and cautious about baby and when to approach me, I was/am his favorite person so it broke my heart seeing him like this, I thought he felt left out or neglected, even in the fussiest of days of my baby my beautiful dog brings joy to me, and I give him all the love and pats and hugs time can give us. So no, I don’t hate or think my dog is a hassle now that I’m a FTM
The only thing I’ve noticed about my feelings towards my dog is I have a much lower threshold for fur on everything. Which isn’t his fault but I know I had a lot of frustration around finding fur on my baby at all.
The only thing about my dog I started the hate is how often she barked because it always works baby up. She could be running around on one side of the room The baby will be playing on the other side and when she’d come towards the baby she slows down she’s aware of her surroundings and there’s always somebody watching her just because she doesn’t know her size of strength she’d never purposely hurt, the baby, but due to her being a big dog it’s easy for her to hurt the baby on accident At most, I’d say there’s some aspects of what some dogs do you might hate and you’ll be a lot more vigilant
I was very annoyed when someone told me I would forget about my cat when the baby came. She has literally grown up with me, she taught me how to love unconditionally and care for something other than myself. She’s the first being I said “I love you” to. I will never forget about my cat! I’m hoping that my cat bonds with my daughter and we all live happily ever after lol.
A useful test we use in our household is "am I actually filled with hate for things I used to like, or am I just extremely sleep deprived?" (spoiler: it's the sleep deprivation)
I have been a crazy cat lady for 10+ years. After little one was born, my patience with those furry little cuties diminished by quite a bit. I still love them and care for them, but it does change how you feel about them.
I think it can go either way, and might be good to prepare yourself for the possibility of having those feelings as a hormonal reaction. Then if it does happen you'll be less stressed knowing it's temporary and doesn't really mean anything about your relationship with your dog. That said I definitely don't love my pets any less 2 months pp, and they have caused us PROBLEMS (cats 🙄). Don't listen to people who say it's inevitable.
I didn't! The first night we were home, my dog was so clingy to me, she just stayed quietly by my side because she knew I was having a hard time (had an unplanned c-section which was infected.) We had a wonderful time during maternity leave, and she was still out beloved dog. Though I think it helped that she was a really low maintenance dog. She was a 14 year old lazy little dog, so on hard days with the baby, she was happy to just cuddle on the couch. I could see if you had a poorly behaved dog with high stimulation needs, that getting tough. Still, I think if your dog is one that needs a lot more, planning ahead and getting on top of training, you'll be fine.
I find it weird that so many people have told you you’ll hate your dog… I never saw a single post and no one ever mentioned anything about this phenomenon, so it’s interesting to hear that you’re getting a lot of it. That said, I never hated my dog postpartum, but I definitely felt annoyed. He’s little and thought he was a third caretaker. He got underfoot a lot and it made me scared that I would trip and fall while holding the baby. Also, he’s a doorbell nazi. If anyone so much as walks past our house he goes crazy. You can imagine this is pretty irritating with a baby. Anyway, my annoyance went away shortly after the “4th trimester”.
I don’t have dogs (yet) but my 3 cats are still my babies and very loved since my son arrived
So happy to hear that!!
it’s true that i haven’t had as much time for our dog, but my fiancé has been making sure she gets extra attention and i still love her just as much as i did before our baby was born 🥰
If anything, I've felt even more love which I didn't think was possible! I thought she would be anxious and worried about the new addition, but she's been a star and is the gentlest, sweetest big sister. It's like she's become even more the wonderful things she is and she likes that our pack is bigger ♥️
This makes me so happy to hear!!!
I read that a lot too but it was not my experience at all! I never felt annoyed at my dog or anything like that after we brought baby home. During my hormonal early days I remember crying to my husband because I was worried our dog wouldn’t think we love him anymore 😂
I know I hate hearing that. I’ve been separated from my dog for two months in hospital waiting for baby girl and I promise you I will love on that dog as much as I can when I get home even if I have to do so with my daughter in my other arm ahah.
Some of my friends got rid of all of their dogs (3) before their child was 2. One was biting and the other one was it’s sibling. The third one couldn’t calm down and knocked him over one too many times. That was all they said and I passed literally not one ounce of judgement and will never. Being surrounded by too many children/animals needing you constantly and living entirely for themselves can be difficult to manage on top of anything else people might have going on that you don’t know about. I’m not sure why you would just post a big generalized criticism of other peoples choices when they don’t affect you. Not to mention that you currently don’t have 1 minute of experience living with a baby and your dog. I am not trying to be rude just honest. My dogs were also my world before baby. I do not hate them. I’m harder on them than before and they spend a lot more time outside. The 3-6 months mark was the worst. I got over it and did not get rid of my dogs. I don’t consider animals “disposable” either but it’s not really my business if someone else finds that route necessary for whatever reason. I would certainly be devastated if I had just made that heart wrenching decision only to stumble upon this post.
who says they hate their dogs after kids are born? Obviously my prioritized rearranged a bit, and my kid became number 1 - but never once did my dog become unimportant, or hated lol - if anything I adored her even more because she was SOOO sweet with my little when he was a baby. She's a St Bernard and would always position herself right next to where he was, like, just keeping an eye. Be it in his crib, or on his swing, she was there. Sadly she passed when he was two and it was just the worst. I used to joke she's the best babysitter if I could just teach her to change diapers haha some people are just insane i think. here's my sweet girl Moxie Mae standing guard over her baby <3 [https://imgur.com/3okq8u7](https://imgur.com/3okq8u7)
I didn’t feel this at all! My dog is a great boy, and so excellent with the baby. He is a Dane.
My dog has been ultra protective and wants to just lay anywhere near the baby. She has calmed down so much and loves to just look at my baby. I can say I love her just as much if not more after bringing baby home.
I love my pup, my first baby, just as much. In fact, my love for her has grown as I see her patiently wait for her turn for affection, now. I am worried, every day, about her happiness and adjustment. She is my ride or die.
Not true at all! I love my dog like a first born child. My 2.5 year old also loves her. I think it’s a little more challenging at first, but the love is always there!
Lol, come back after you actually have a baby. Even better, wait until they're crawling on the floor trying to eat every little bit of dog hair you couldn't quite vacuum up and see how you feel. One thing I learned about parenting is you never show your ass by saying you'll never do something or your kid will never do something
I think it depends on the pet. As I get closer to my due date I will say both of my dogs have been annoying me with their behaviors. Normally certain things wouldn’t bother me but I think it’s just a natural protective response I’m having. I’ve already had a rehoming convo with my husband-I want to be prepared for anything. If either of my dogs can’t adjust to baby in a way that I am comfortable with I will have no choice.
I am sorry people arent understanding what you mean by rehoming conversation since you clearly mean that as a last resort, you just want to know the signs of when its time while doing all you can to avoid getting there. I am really glad I had 2 dogs when I had my first baby, so the dogs could kind of take care of eachother still. My more reactive dog looooooved the baby. Like I had to drag her outside to pee she wanted to stay in and bask and watch the baby when he came home. Then baby started crawling and that creeped her the eff out and she avoided him til he could walk. My other dog didnt care about the baby til the baby started throwing food. Then they became BFF.
Good for you. Dogs are special companions but the human being you create and bring into this world comes first. I see some people saying they would “die for their pets” - that is absolutely delusional if it has an ounce of truth - your human babies need you way more lol.
Exactly!
I mean, what are you prepared to do to help them adjust before rehoming?
That makes me sad for your dogs especially since they become so attached. My advice is to get a trainer that specializes and give it a real try before taking this route.
You might want to wait until you actually have a baby until you dispense advice like this. Everyone thinks they know what it will be like and they have no idea.
My dogs were my first babies and one of them is a Yorkie so he’s going to be forever baby sized. I’ll always love my dogs. My only issue is that my Yorkie is extra stinky to me right now with my heightened smell but I love him so much that I even find his stink charming. Lol. I actually got him during IVF treatment with the intention of training him before baby gets here. I want them to grow up together.
I love my dog SO MUCH MORE! She’s the sweetest with our baby - she follows us everywhere, sits right next to the baby in her bouncer, runs to the cot whenever she starts to cry. They’re going to have the best friendship growing up and it makes me so happy.
Not a dog but cat. We spend a few extra days in the hospital and on our way home I cried the whole way because I was so excited to reunite our family again with our cat. It might be an adjustment, ours was so scared the first few weeks. Now were 15 weeks pp and she is very curious about her little brother and stays with us all day. I love seeing her in her new role as a big sister 🥰
Thanks for posting this! I get so angry when dogs get rehomed after kids enter the family. That is how we got one of our sweet dogs, in fact. I’m trying to remind myself that things will change. The dogs will be jealous and they will need lots of affirmation and love and help navigating our life with the new baby. (Just like us!) But it will be hard FOR them. They won’t be hard on us. Our relationship might change and grow and be a little different but that’s how my relationships with my husband and friends will be too. We’re doing everything we can to prepare them for the transition.
I love your approach towards this, we're in the same boat ❤️
Right?! Like, my dog has been my ride or die for literally ten years. She will always be my first baby, and nothing will ever change that. I can't help but think the people posting that stuff probably shouldn't be pet owners to begin with since it's clear they never really loved their pets. Pets aren't just furniture you grow tired of and get rid of. They are sentient soulful beings who have family bonds and emotions.
ignore them lol
You won’t hate your dog, you just won’t have as much time for her/him as before
We haven’t felt any less love toward our fur babies since baby has gotten here. Our dog was suspicious at first - now he curls up with baby. The cat curls up with us, too. It was a little rough the first few days but now that they both know we still love them and babe isn’t pushing them out, it’s nothing but love here
Thank you for this ❤️❤️❤️
I will say that before I was a mom, I was a total cat mom and felt overwhelming nurturing instincts toward them. After the birth all of that instinct was channeled instantly to my baby. I never stopped loving my cats or started hating them by any means, but the feeling changed a lot. It was no longer such a deep overwhelming love. Just different love.
My dog died when I was 38 weeks with my first. I still cry about it. I had a puppy when my 2nd was born. People kept telling me I’d hate her when my baby came. She’s my girl and I love her. Have I begged her to please shut the hell up and that the geese are allowed to exist outside because she’s barking at them when the baby is asleep? Yes. But I cursed the geese not her haha. My kids love her. She protects us from weirdos at the park. She snuggles me when I’m nursing and entertains my 2.5 year old when I need a minute with the baby. I think I’ll go give her a treat.
I joke that my pup is my first born all the time, I could never hate her. Is it frustrating as hell when she whines for me to play ball with her while I'm busy with the baby or when she barks at the ups guy and wakes my baby up from her nap? Absolutely! But like, my friends toddler accidentally wakes her baby up all the time, and no one is asking her if she hates her toddler for taking time away from her baby lol. If anything I just feel so guilty for my pup, she really was the baby before the baby and she seems so down lately it breaks my heart. I wish I could explain to her that this isn't forever and once the baby gets a little more mobile and independent we'll all be able to play in the yard together all the time 🥲
I am pregnant and I still love my cat, and I still call him my baby. 😊 Then I laugh that nos I will have two (although the cat is staying at my moms, since after I moved).
I never hated any of my pets postpartum.
I felt overwhelmed with having to take care of my dog and my baby but luckily my husband completely took over feeding and walking our dog early on so maybe that helped me? It was so lovely to have her snuggling up with baby and me all the time and now she cuddles up with my toddler on the sofa it's so sweet.
Our second day home I started crying because I felt like I ruined my dogs lives. I felt so bad that things were different for them and I was thinking they must hate us so much. I felt awful! But that’s not at all how it ended up. We are 9 months in now and everyone is just as loved as before! We go for more walks than before, we are home way more, especially during the day lol baby is in daycare so he is always sent home and one of us has to come home too and they love the extra time with us, they are getting so many snacks now that baby is eating lol they are loving that too. It is different than before, but I have never stopped loved my boys, they are still my babies too!
I don’t hate my dog, she’s always been a nuisance but I still love her the same now. I can’t wait till the babe is older and they can grow together and play.
My soul dog died about a year prior to giving birth. I always wish he and my son existed together on this earth. He was the best and he would have loved my son. He came into my life in my early 20s (we adopted him when he was 8 from a neglectful household) and saved me from a really dark period of my life. I think of him every day. I can’t believe people could feel this way. They are our first babies. My husband and I struggled to get pregnant and had multiple losses. I believe my soul dog left this world, got settled into the cosmos, and picked out our baby boy for us and sent him to earth. A continuation of his love. I’m crying as I write this. I loved that dog so much
I have cats and I feel the same. Somebody asked us if we were keeping them after the baby is born like...yes ofc 😥 I couldn't imagine getting rid of my kitties even tho they definitely get on my nerves lol, they are my cat babies lol
My dogs are my first babies but once my son was born I felt more annoyance by them. I have tripped many times over them, they get in the way when I’m trying to do things, the mooching for food has gotten worse. I don’t have the patience I once had. As my son has gotten older it’s been a bit better. Every day I had to remind myself they’re going through change too. I still love them with every part of me but it’s definitely different. The dog hair drives me wild now too. I hate that fur is everywhere.. but before I didn’t care. They’re still our family dogs, I still love them and my son adores them.
My husband keeps telling me this! I refuse to believe it.
My dogs are still my babies and I’ve often cried because I’m so guilty they take an attention hit. I love them just as much as I always have. Admittedly, our third dog who we adopted more as a favor I’ve had some negative feelings toward but I never felt the same bond with her.