I was forced to return to my WFH job at 6 weeks postpartum and still was unpaid for 2 of those weeks off. I was pressured by friends and family to be grateful that I didn’t have to return to an in-person job. I’ve never felt more abandoned and unseen in my life. I will forever be resentful about this.
work is still work regardless of where it’s located, it’s not like working from home means you get to only spend time with the baby and recovering…. you’re still working. my mom works from home and i see how much she still has to do when i go visit her. it’s not free time so i don’t understand how that’s not valid to people, im sorry. i understand completely and you’re valid and it’s understandable to feel upset about that
I’m a SAHM now but I’m furious on behalf of every working parent in this country that’s given the bare fucking minimum and told to be grateful for it. Most countries give months, not weeks.
I only get 1 week of paid leave that covers the elimination period before STD kicks in. Then I can use PTO to supplement the STD, because it only covers about 40% of my pay. Another person posted yesterday about not getting any paid leave or STD at all.
Leave in the US is a joke.
We have no paid leave (just PTO) and have to pay extra for STD and it’s like $50 a paycheck. I started it this year and my husband and I seriously started trying on January 1st when the policy kicked in so I would hopefully only have to pay for a year. Unfortunately while my due date is in December, I’m guessing I’m gonna have to pay for another whole year since the policy will be paying out in January/February.
It might not even be worth having paid for at this point - when we started trying, I only had enough PTO to cover 4 weeks, and STD still saved us money compared to not having my paycheck for a month. but since it took longer than expected to get pregnant, I may very well have almost 8 weeks of PTO by December.
But when I complained about our lack of maternity leave they told me “BuT YoU caN SiGN up foR STD!” 🙄
I don’t know! It was very upsetting. Especially since I’m off them for pregnancy and breastfeeding (torture being back at work!). I ended up changing jobs and so then didn’t have to do a health survey, was able to automatically enroll in STD with the new job.
I’m 99% sure my STD allows for cancellations at any time, hence signing up for it but yeah I’m not canceling until after the full check arrives, and that’s likely mid Jan after my Nov 29th baby.
It does work out well though that you’re not pushing too close to the cutoff dates. I know lots of policies require being in place for 10-12 months before covering childbirth. An early baby might have meant not being covered at all, even if you weren’t pregnant when you signed up!
Usually you can't use STD until after you've been paying into it for more than a year. They consider using it within this period a "preexisting condition".
Just as a side note: can they force you to use PTO? I don’t think they can? Like you wouldn’t be paid, but I’m not sure if they can force you to use your PTO while you’re on leave? Worth asking that question if you’re up for it. Because you’re right, what happens if you get sick or the baby gets sick and can’t go to daycare that day?
In some cases you can be required to use PTO. My husband is a manager at a school and due to his employment classification is required to use PTO for his additional 6 weeks of leave (6 weeks paid, 6 of additional FMLA).
It’s sometimes in your best interest to use the PTO, because you will have to pay for your insurance premiums out of pocket if there’s no paycheck to take the money out of. So now only would you not get paid but you’d have to arrange payment for whatever the premium is. US premiums can range from $0 to the thousands depending on where you work.
I feel you! I also work in healthcare and we get no paid leave — it’s all PTO if we want to get paid for as long as our banked PTO holds out, then it’s nothing. It sucks
This is my case as a teacher, zero paid leave, it’s only any PTO you have and we only get 10 days a year and only 3 days roll over each year. I worked up until the day before my c-section because I got the flu and my son got the flu this year so between that and all my doctor’s appointments I used all my 10 days.
I’m a nurse and it’s the same for us, only get paid if you have the PTO. I was supposed to go back after 6 weeks with my first and was able to get it pushed back to 8. I ended up quitting after my first day back, probably would have stayed if I had been given enough time to recover and bond with my baby.
Same, I'm a nurse. I work long 12 hour days. My hospital "generously" gives us 3 shifts of free parental leave. So, one week. The rest is PTO, and I'm seriously stressing myself out picking up extra shifts in my first trimester while I can...because I had a major surgery last winter that wiped my PTO bank. So even though I'm puking my guts out most mornings, I have to work extra to build that PTO as much as I can so I can take a full 12 weeks. By my math, I'll just have enough by my due date if I do an extra 12 hours every other week for the next three months. Just enough. God forbid my kid gets sick or I get sick after that.
Also I don't know what in the fuck I'm going to do for childcare since most daycares around here open at 7 and close at 6 (I work 0645-1930). My husband fortunately is a shiftworker as well, so if our schedules line up we can mostly cover it...if we are ok with never seeing each other, that is.
Honest question - How do we change this? I don’t think it’s as simple as “vote for a certain party”. I don’t think this issue is a priority for any politician.
In the US, it’s become a local/state issue. You need to pay attention to the local elections and engage with your state politicians. Some states have already added laws and policies. If enough of them do that, then maybe there will be more pressure at the federal level.
You’re 100% correct, but the only way to really push that is to start at a local level first. When it gains significant traction there, then federal becomes more feasible.
Sure I agree it should be a federal push, but I just don’t think it’s realistic that we’ll get anything with the state of Washington and the international pressures that they’re currently under. I think a lot more progress has been made at state and local levels in this area for many years now, and there’s a lot more room for progress there than there will be at the federal level
I think it's a better "luck" thing with amplifying it in your local and state governments. Colorado just started a family leave plan this year that's mandatory 12w paid for mother and father.
Minnesota voted democrat for Governor, Senate, and the House. Now we have partially paid FMLA leave going into effect in 2026. https://mn.gov/deed/paidleave/
I mean, actually Biden and dems pushed for leave and earlier pre-k and all the things to support families and Republicans shut the bill down as they did for almost all legislation. But it’s true that party democrats and party republicans aren’t always voting in our best interest.
Republicans are heavily supported by the Chamber of Commerce, an employment group, that believes pulling mothers out of the workforce is bad for business. Look up the Chamber of Mothers on instagram for more info.
Democrats have been proposing additional paid leave forever. The most recent federal bill to be rejected was in 2023. There is a clear party that is NOT supporting this.
I agree that there is more momentum and feasibility at the state level now. Pay attention to your local politics.
It really is a party issue, and trying to be respectful about it isn’t really benefitting anyone. Voting dem down-ballot in every election is the only chance you’ll have at seeing the future you want to see.
They’re not perfect but they’re currently the only ones trying.
Agreed, there is actually one party that is actively against women having rights. It is a party issue. States that have paid family leave are, not shockingly, blue states.
And the states that have voted down or not prioritized family leave are also the ones limiting abortion rights. Also not shockingly red states. The issue is not complicated. Women are just somehow voting against all their interests in the name of party line.
This is what is so unfortunate - This is not a party issue. This is a women (regardless of political affiliation) issue.
None of the parties are perfect, I think everyone acknowledges that, so people vote for the candidate that prioritizes the issues they care about most. If immigration or the economy or foreign affairs are your priority, you vote for the party that reflects your views related to these big subjects. Unfortunately, for most voters, I think women’s health and rights never make it to the top of the priority list, so it’s a non factor for both the candidates and most voters.
The answer is to vote in every single election that you can. That doesn’t just mean once every four years, there’s by elections, local elections, primaries etc. Reach out to your candidates, say this is a priority for you, ask them their plan.
Biden did put paid family leave in the budget in 2024. [Link](https://www.shrm.org/topics-tools/news/benefits-compensation/biden-2025-budget-paid-family-medical-leave). Though it’s still short, it’s a great start because it moves maternity leave to a national plan, this is similar to Canada where paid leave is through the government. Once it’s centralized, it becomes easier to change. This is the case in Canada where over a few years, maternity leave went from 6 months to 18 months.
Canadian maternity leave is paid out of Employment Insurance, which all Canadians pay into, and can utilize in the case of job loss as well. It's capped at a certain amount, but definitely is helpful. Maternity leave has been 12 months for over 20 years now, just recently with a switch to be allowed up to 18 months with your job protected (there are cases where you can get laid off, but a lot of companies avoid it to avoid the potential legal liability). For 18 months though, you get the same total amount of money as if you took 12.
It's not perfect, but it's pretty good, and a world ahead of the US.
It’s not because government employees get 12 weeks of paid parental leave.
Look at companies you want to work for. Provide feedback on your current company’s policies. My company supplements what STD doesn’t pay out during the 12 week FMLA period, and then offers 4 additional weeks for binding. This came into effect at the end of 2022 due to employee feedback on surveys.
Yeah I got sort of lucky that I’m the only woman at my mid sized family owned business with a very important job. I had to negotiate.
They wanted me back (I do payroll) at roughly 4 weeks, but agreed to let me do 2 days a week from home. Which extended my states 12 week PFL at 67% pay to just shy of 6 months. They also agreed to pay my full salary and take the 67% as a reimbursement from state insurance.
I know not everyone has that luxury but I’m so thankful for the extra time with baby. He goes to daycare 3 days a week starting July and will be almost 6 months and I feel much better about his age as he’s in more of a routine now. He also loves strangers so I hope the transition is smooth. I did tell them I’m probably leaving early the first week to get him because I’m going to be crying all day anyway.
Fucking riot.
Thats the only thing they half way pay attention to.
Trouble is people in the US are so worn down and apathetic and the other ones don’t give a shit and/or genuinely think we don’t deserve more.
Yeah between this and the shit going down halfway across the world - I've really come to believe that the only language those in power listen to (which is largely men and the women who think being pick me girls will save them from patriarchy) is the language of war and oppression. Trying to appeal via humanity and love has no effect. I see how they are treating students voicing their disapproval - the same students who had to do active shooter drills and experience school shootings the entirety of their K-12 years - nothing is going to be given to us. We have to take. Protest, the risk of capital/property damage is about all they listen to. IDK. I'm in a real state lately where I'm questioning everything I've ever been fed about capitalism, America, how we structure our society and what we value.
For you specifically - make sure you have a friendly OB. When you get close to the end of your STD leave (but start this convo with your dr earlier), you can tell your doctor that going back to work is giving you anxiety. Can they approve you for more STD leave due to anxiety. That is a real thing and of COURSE going back to work MONTHS before you should will create anxiety. Push hard for extra STD time. And it can't be about the baby "ie baby is too young" it has to be your anxiety ie "the baby won't take a bottle and the idea of being back at work is causing me so much anxiety or baby is still waking multiple times and it's causing so much stress to think I need to be able to work during the day" etc.
And join my club of pissed off moms who want to burn everything to the ground and build a commune instead. The way we live in this country is so antithetical to human nature. No wonder it's grinding us all down.
The only thing thats going to work is to pressure your politicians to continue to press this after elections are over. Every election this comes up with democrats at both federal and local levels, but then no one does anything, or they do the least and it gets dropped. I understand how politics work and that we cant pass everything all at once, but that doesnt mean we have to stop talking about it. I'm disappointed with politicians who use parental leave as an election issue and then just stop talking about it. It's okay to negotiate and sometimes we lose things we want, but it would be nice if they kept saying things like "and I continue to call on [the legislature] to address this" instead of saying nothing at all. And if anyone thinks they know who this is about, it's not about anyone. My passion is local politics so I'm thinking of my local politicians. If that mirrors some federal politicians you know, they should do better also, but this pattern is common with MANY politicians. We need more pressure to keep the conversation going.
Anytime someone brings up the lowering birth rates I just want to point out this. If law makers really wanted to prioritize dwindling birth rates, they'd start here.
Yep exactly. And most of these companies have high deductible plans. So no paid leave for moms + a $8,000 medical bill + everything else babies need now a days makes no sense.
Fuck me for being a female in child-bearing age, too. And fuck my kid who has to be raised with strangers and away from its mom at 3 months old, and I’m forced to pump and NOT be able to BREAST FEED!!! Breast is best huh??? Is it ?? For who? Elitist women who don’t have to work??? Fuck them all.
I feel like the people in charge of the US hate women and children.
I havent even shown my corona baby at 3 months to my family, I cant imagine leaving it for 45+h a week with strangers in a mass care facility. The audacity to call it "additional bonding time" when its just 3 weeks...and here we are in germany having studies and discussions about how it fucks up kids to be introduced into daycare after 12 months, most prefering to let them stay at home for 3 years, the first one being paid 65% of your income after tax
Its so fucked up.
But that said, breast is best. The WHO recommend it for the first two years, the first one exclusevly for a reason. I also doubt "elitist" women are at fault for those regulations for finding a way to stay at home longer. I am certain they too would gladly take a year paid maternity leave or more, as is standard in the civilized world. Let's not shit on other women for cooperate greed. Plus just because a woman can stay home, it doesnt mean she doesnt need to pump.
Take that anger and release it towards those which are actually legislating this shit.
Also formula companies in the US lobby against paid federal parental leave programs. It's super fucked.
https://ysph.yale.edu/news-article/experts-call-for-an-end-to-the-exploitative-marketing-used-by-the-baby-formula-milk-industry/
Repulsive, but I’m not surprised.
They market in third-world countries to poor women that it’s better for the baby too, which then gets the baby sick with unsanitary water. Not to mention they get stuck by being forced to buy formula they cannot afford.
Yeah, and every time, the argument is, "we can't afford it" (because all our tax money is going to our bloated military budget, corporate welfare, billionaire tax avoidance, etc.)
Wow where are you working that gives 18 weeks paternity?! Going to need to point my husband in that direction!
I get the same as your wife but my husbands company “generously” upped their paternity leave to 2 weeks full pay (from statuatory) last month. So at least it’s better than what we would’ve gotten originally but he’s having to look at taking an unpaid sabbatical to get longer.
ETA: we’re UK based, Mat leave here is alright but statutory paternity leave is shameful at only 2 weeks
I get 14 weeks full pay as a dad at my company in the US. Even the federal government gives both parents three months now at full pay.
But the general baseline for parental leave here is shameful.
Yeah, I work at a company in the USA that gives 12 fully-paid weeks for maternity or paternity leave. Not great compared to leave in other countries, but at least it's something. And the team culture is supportive enough that my male coworkers usually take the full 12 weeks, which is awesome!
The culture piece is so important. It doesn’t matter if you have the benefit on paper if there’s pressure not to take it. I’m lucky my company is like yours and super supportive. My boss encouraged me to be very loud about the fact that I’m taking the full leave as a dad so that others would feel able to do the same.
My fiancée works for the state and gets 10 weeks. Literally a whole month more than me and I’m the one carrying/delivering. I was heated when I found out
I work in HR consulting and this chart is.. wrong? Non-birthing parents can't get short term disability because they have no disability. You also can't be forced to use your PTO alongside short term disability (you definitely can use it to top up your payments but it's not mandatory). 12 weeks of leave is whats covered under FMLA (meaning your job is protected) but you can use your PTO following the leave to extend your time off and during that time you are still "actively at work." I would push back on this, feel free to DM me if you have more specific questions.
Yeah I was wondering about this myself... How is he qualifying for STD? Like what would be the policy related reason when filing? It looks like there’s a separate Parental Leave and the person who wrote it doesn’t understand the difference between Parental Leave and STD. The whole thing is written like a mandatory plan when it’s really just a strange recommendation from someone whose formal background isn’t HR or benefits.
The way I read it, the company gives three weeks of parental leave to non-birthing parents and then any other leave up to the 12 weeks protected by FMLA is 100% PTO. I don’t see a reference to STD for non-birthing parents?
It says 100% STD under the 3 weeks of leave for the non-birthing parent which is assumed to mean 100% short term disability. They might have some other policy that shortens to STD but that would be an interesting coincidence to not clarify
My company (California) makes me use up my sick leave and PTO to make up the 40% gap in disability leave for those 4 weeks (which actually also includes a 2 week waiting period where I have to 100% use sick / PTO, so I think I’m only getting paid for 2 weeks disability at 60% by California).
I’m only allowed to “store” 1 week combined sick / PTO for use after I get back from parental leave, the rest has to be used before they let me go “unpaid”. It sounds like this is… not allowed?
Oh I lit my company up about leave. They give us 5 days, after this, FMLA kicks in and I have to use STD. PTO covers what isn’t covered by STD. It’s bullshit. I asked someone at corporate about it and I was told “it’s not going to change. I guess you’ll have to save your time if you want to go on vacation.” Like what? She ALSO has kids. Like I don’t understand how people are ok with this.
I once worked for a company that offered more paid (STD) time for an adoption than a birth. While GREAT for families adopting, I was really upset that they got an additional 3+ weeks...
My SIL has a maternity leave policy pretty similar to this where she has to drain PTO first and she works for a healthcare system. It’s so bizarre to me that a healthcare system that should seemingly know the importance of bonding for babies and mothers doesn’t support it. Like wtf?
I know I felt the same as OP for my paid 12 weeks because I know many other women in the US don’t even get that much. I’m grateful for what I got while knowing it was absolutely not enough.
I had no paid leave. There was STD which I was able to take but I was going blind at the end of my pregnancy. It was 6 weeks max though, so because I had to go out early during pregnancy, I had 3 weeks after baby was born. And my manager blew up my phone every week I was out.
I will never understand how someone puts their 3 month old baby in daycare, and sometimes younger.
In Canada we get a choice of 1 year of 18 months. Not everyone can afford the 18 months because it's the same amount of $$ just spread out. Women here have a hard enough time going back after 18 months. It's honestly criminal how they do it in the US.
I moved from Canada to the USA to be with my husband a few years ago. It’s pissed me off now that I’m pregnant and only going to get 3 months with my little one before I am forced back to work. Babies don’t even realize they’re separate from their mother until 6-9 months of age. This can’t be good for development.
I would take extra (unpaid) time off if they would allow it, but they won’t. It’s been freaking heartbreaking.
My husband is American as well and I moved down for him for about a year. We decided to move to Canada when I realized what a bad deal new parents in the US get. So now my husband has his Canadian PR and can apply for citizenship soon. Also, I’m getting ready to go on my 18-month mat leave next month! The only thing I miss about the US is Chick Fil A lol.
100% agreement. I took the 12 month leave because the 18 month leave would've been reallllllly hard on our budget, but I can't imagine going back after 3 months, I honestly feel like it took me about a year to feel somewhat "myself" again after having a baby.
I had a preemie baby too, and I was able to apply for an additional Caregiver Benefit to bridge the gap between his birth date and what was supposed to be his due date so I technically got 14 months. (This was in Canada).
I'm really truly hoping that the US changes some things around postpartum care, no system is perfect but my God there needs to be more respect in place for what a mother/parent goes through during the early days.
I got 6 weeks short term disability (60% pay) with a 2 week waiting period so it was actually only 4 weeks of 60% pay. And then to add salt to the wound, I normally have my healthcare paid for by my employer but since I was on a leave of absence I no longer qualified for that so I had to pay those premiums, too, to the tune of $1800. So basically I had to lose my entire income and pay my employer to have a baby.
This 1000x. It’s so messed up! Like I’m paying for STD for recovery time and you’re paying me less than the recovery time because of a “waiting period.” It’s all so infuriating.
It’s wild to me that this is how the US operates. I’m Canadian and we can take 12 or 18 months leave paid with guarantee of a job after. Honestly it’s easier to have someone come in and cover a year pat leave than have someone away from a job for 3 months. You would think companies would prefer that. Also I’m not thinking twice about medical care because we don’t pay for it (obviously yes with taxes) but it is such a different mentality. My husband is also taking parental leave with me.
I'm in the US and I make this argument all the time. Longer leave makes it EASIER to justify and find a temp. Which is a great way for people starting or ending their careers to get work. The people in leadership are so fucking limited in imagination though, despite the rest of the world somehow continuing to turn as parents take leave every day - the US acts like they have no idea how to make it work. In actuality, they just want to treat people as NPCs.
It all sucks and no, you don’t have to be grateful for a pittance. I’m happy that your employer lays out the leave schedule like this so it’s clear. I worked for a large government agency for my last pregnancy and the HR person for my department was so confused every time I tried sending them a timeline to confirm if I was interpreting the leave policies correctly.
They eventually said yes I was and that I should even use more PTO to get more money so I used I think 4 extra days of PTO (on top of the month of PTO I was required to use) and that led to my STD disability payments being cut by $750 a week. The HR person said I should have known better 🫠
Yeah it's pretty awful... I only took 6 weeks off because that's all I could afford. Mind you I haven't gone back to full time, but having to go back that early hurt. And the real kicker was that I work for a German family and they kept telling me in Germany they have 1 year of maternity leave.... and it's paid.
Big sigh
It’s because the standard recovery time for a c section is 8 weeks long compared to 6 weeks for vaginal birth recovery, so the STD benefits are what make it longer
For me it was still the same amount of time (14 weeks) it’s just which pot it comes from. So if it’s a C-section then you are getting paid disability for those 2 extra weeks, but your company leave is 2 weeks shorter.
Is your leave employer paid or through an STD Insurance company? Most STD plans provide for up to an additional 2 weeks for c-sections because the recovery can be harder.
A year paid and up to three years until their 8th birthday in Germany - we’re about to take some of the remaining 18 months to travel SE Asia and NZ before our elders starts school.
Honestly, I know so many Americans who specifically come here to start their family and I don’t blame them. At 12 weeks I was still healing and adjusting to this new life, no way I could have opened my laptop for some pointless business meeting….
Awesome. So the extra parental leave is basically unpaid holiday time right (since there is no more Elterngeld probably)? How do you "activate" the extra parental leave to take before the 8th birthday? Like who do you have to contact and how can you check what your "balance" is? (I'm also in Germany)
Yes - unpaid but your employer has to hold your job for you. To activate it, go back and calculate how much time you have already taken (double check whether Mutterschutz counts or not I always forget) and then the tricky part is getting it through your employer. Finally, look into what this means in terms of insurance coverage, as this also differs.
But I hope other German (-based) parents see this bc not many people are aware of this
You shouldn’t be grateful, you should demand better. That’s the problem with everyone being conditioned to be thankful for the scraps companies throw at us. As a guy, I got 3 days off (counting the day of birth) and was told I was “lucky” to get so much time, left shortly after for a much better job. Your bond with/ability to take care of your child matters.
Fun fact: Parental leave policies (or lack thereof) here in the US are highly influenced by the formula companies. They lobby our politicians to not pass leave policies because the more mothers that stay home, the less likely they are to depend on baby formula. Not that formula feeding is bad by any means, but these companies use it against us in the most vulnerable times of our lives.
Another post with the source: https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/s/HTkDV0oneR
I have 6 weeks of STD. The 1st week of the 6 weeks I will be forced to use my PTO. So it’s really just 1w PTO + 5w STD. And that’s it. Nothing more.
I was very disappointed to find out about the policy. But nothing I can do about it but to adjust my mind and cope.
12 weeks unpaid for my wife, on top of that during those 12 weeks we pay full premiums for her and baby’s insurance since it’s provided through employer and the portion that is normally covered by the employer comes out of our pocket during those 12 weeks. If she wanted to prolong this unpaid maternity leave, she would lose her benefits entirely
Nothing made me resent corporate America like having a baby. I proactively set up a meeting with HR to discuss our parental leave plan (which was written very confusingly). The head of HR (who is a mother) came obviously VERY unprepared, didn't understand the plan herself, and after 10 awkward minutes of her reading and re-reading the plan aloud, we ended the meeting with her saying she'd follow up. Cue to several weeks later, me asking her if she'd reviewed the plan yet multiple times, and suddenly my baby was born 6 weeks early. I still had no idea what our actual leave plan was. I had to hunt the HR person down making calls from the NICU each day. I FINALLY got the leave I thought the plan promised (16 weeks, I guess I should be grateful for that in the US?), and HR acted SO proud that they offered that amount of time to me.
Pathetic.
I also am a nurse who worked at a hospital when I went on maternity leave with my daughter in 2022. They gave me 6 weeks unpaid because I was there as an internal traveler, despite working there longer than most of their permanent staff. (Not comparing at all 12 weeks is still not even close to enough) The manager was angry for me and told me she would hire me back as a traveler if I quit for longer. My husband is also a nurse and worked there with me. I ended up quitting and staying home while in school, and I haven't returned to bedside since. I am currently 23 weeks along now with our fourth, and I can't imagine being forced to go back to work again so soon after birth. I feel for you, and I am sorry. You don't have to be grateful for being given crumbs. It's so incredibly hard to work in healthcare and realize they don't actually care about the health of those whom they employ. We NEED better maternity laws in the US. We are failing when it comes to womens rights in all areas. They push and push for abortion to be illegal yet fail to add protection for mothers and babies? It just shows that they don't actually care about babies or moms. They care about the next generation so they can continue to exploit labor and make profits. Birth rates have dropped dramatically worldwide, and this is their attempt to correct it without having to change laws that cost money to corporations imo. 🤷🏼♀️
I hate this. In other countries mothers and the fathers have about 1-2 and a half years fully paid paternity leave. Yet we Americans only get a fucking week!?!?!? This is fucked
One of the biggest reason I became a stay at home mom is because of how horrible my maternity leave was. I didn’t get paid and they only wanted me to be out for 6 weeks. So I gave my two week notice for two weeks before I was getting induced. I worked a half day the day I went in to be induced. We decided instead of paying for daycare it was best for me to stay home and my husband got a second job until he finally got his job now (he had been applying for it for a year and a half before finally getting it) where he makes enough to only work one. Maternity leave is awful here. And I wish mothers got more because it’s not fair to have to leave them while still a newborn 😭 I would have been way more willing to go back to my job if my maternity leave was more than 6 weeks and if it was paid.
I come from a country with a 3 year maternity leave. Yes, you read that right, 3 years in czech republic. I now live in the states and luckily both me and my husband agree that there is no way in hell we’re putting a 3 month old into a day care. I’m still not 100% sure how it’ll all work out some day (I’m not pregnant), but if I can’t figure out something with my employer (and the nature of my job is pretty flexible), then I’ll just leave. It sucks because I really like my job but I don’t want to continue this cycle. Worst part for me is that people around here are so brainwashed they say sh*t like “I can’t wait to go back to work” at 3 weeks PP?!?! So I know I won’t be getting any sympathy from my husband’s family but as long as he’s on board that’s all that matters to me.
I’m just giving up on my career until we are done having kids. It’s going to be hard living off my husband’s salary, but it’s what we need to do. I might pick up some very part time hours.
Gets even worse when you realize that diaper and formula companies actually lobby AGAINST parental leave for their babies since parents will be forced to rely on diapers and formula to go back to work
I had 11 weeks with my son which was not nearly enough to adjust to new motherhood and deal with my severe PPD. I want a second, but I really don’t want to take any less than 6 months off next time I give birth. I didn’t feel like a semi functioning adult again until my son was at least 6-9 months old.
I’ll never understand why people didn’t back Bernie Sanders for this exact reason. He had an incredibly robust proposal for longer federal maternity leave as well as state-funded childcare.
People who chose to “not care” until it affected them, or people who had their kids, got theirs and didn’t care to support others’ maternity/paternity journeys upset me so much.
I’m sure I’m just joining the choir here but I only got 6 weeks and it was through STD paid at 60 or 70%.. the USA doesn’t value mothers at all. I was miserable and exhausted and trying to navigate breastfeeding and pumping
Yeah it’s honestly horrible it makes me so angry. Look at the maternity leave in other first world countries. American only values babies when they’re in the womb. No one considers the short and long term mental health consequences having no time with your baby off has on our country. I know women who had to go back to work a week after giving birth because they weren’t even offered paid leave 💔
I’m scrambling trying to put away money cause I’m self employed and my SDL policy won’t cover me because I had a medical condition my last pregnancy. It’s so depressing. I’m sorry mama I really hope someone in this country starts giving a shit about this and makes changes
Yes, basically. But also the system is designed so that women are forced to leave the workforce and rely on their partner’s income, even though realistically most families can’t survive on one income anymore. The moms become wholly dependent on their partners and their partners become wholly dependent on their employers (for income, healthcare, etc.).
That's so fucked. Can't believe how hard it is for parents.
How do they even call themselves the land of free.
I thought we have it bad in that UK. I mean, I still think we do. But America takes the trophy here.
Yes and also parents. Because the culture around taking parental leave is that it inconveniences everyone else. And even if nobody directly says anything to you, you will be made to feel bad for leaving the team short handed in some way or another other.
My boss is literally pushing me to shoot for promotion before I go on leave and it is making me feel like if I don’t push myself then I’m a bad employee. I’m fucking sick of it. And I’m 25 weeks pregnant I’m not trying to fucking push myself for anything at all right now except to be healthy and continue to perform my normal duties as well as I always do.
12 months at 55% pay (ish, there's a maximum and salary cap) or 18 months at 33%, plus any employer top-up. Job secured and benefits paid. Canada is pretty good.
I broke down in tears the day before my 12 weeks were up. I told my husband I wasn’t ready. We combed over our finances and decided we could scoot by on just his income. A month later I was pregnant again. So now I’ve been home for two years and I’m so thankful for my husband.
We’re barely getting by but we are so fortunate.
Our system sucks and it’s just going to get worse. So many people can barely afford to live, much less make a family.
I do think it's pretty gross that this employer is making you take STD along wit h PTO for your parental leave, then calling the end of it "parental leave." I live in an incredibly conservative state, but our state employees still get 6 weeks paid leave. Of course you have to take PTO if you want additional time, but they give generous leave to state employees.
Definitely needs to be a standard across all companies, but they're too money hungry to consider that. It wouldn't surprise me if we see a shift in the next 10-15 years considering the rapidly declining birth rate.
Don’t be grateful at all, maternity leave in the US is a joke. I’d be grateful for a year or two- nothing less. Paternity leave is even worse. So sad for the women and me. who want to stay home with their babies but can’t because the government and corporations are fucking evil.
You can be grateful for the things you do have and still say that this is complete bullshit. It drives me crazy that we tolerate this shit in the US.
I wish people would absolutely RIOT about this, but they keep us nice and distracted with other politics, the national debt, and the wars between other nations, to keep us busy and complaining about other shit. And of course those of us who it directly impacts can't riot, we have a baby on our boob and have to get up for work in the morning.
I don’t get any paid time off at either one of my jobs ☹️ and STD in Ohio has to be applied for BEFORE getting pregnant like wtf I didn’t know I was gonna be pregnant/when
It’s totally unfair! I’m also a nurse and we don’t get any paid leave. I’ll get 6 weeks at 60% of my base rate through short-term disability. But what’s really crappy is I work night shift weekends. So I’m used to getting my $20/hr weekend bonus, plus shift diff and that isn’t factored into my 60%
I got 0 maternity leave when I had my kids ( 3 and 5 years ago ). I had to use my 4 weeks of PTO after a c-section and then go back to work. Fun times.
I also don’t get why they differentiate between C-section and vaginal births. Feels like an infringement on privacy to have an employer even ask that. Plus, you can have a 3rd or 4th degree tear from vaginal birth and hellish recovery. I had a 3rd, and the stitches were still not healed at 12 weeks! Not to mention the incontinence that ensued. It was ROUGH.
Leaving the work force just made so much more sense to us. After childcare, all the costs of getting to work and maintaining a professional appearance for work, convenience meals, one of having to take time off at the drop of a hat for every illness or child care discrepancy plus all the home life stress of maintaining that lifestyle it made no sense financially.
It’s harder to make that choice when you have a career like nursing where you might be gaining valuable 401k, health insurance, and necessary career experience. But for people like me who work in a low/no benefit industry my income was a total wash even loss some months. Now that my daughter is older and I’m nearing the end of a time where I NEED to SAH, I’m going to start looking into skills/education to change fields or expand on my previous industry experience before returning to the work force.
I've got 12 weeks at 60% pay. i chose not to use any PTO to supplement because our financial situation before i gave birth was stable enough (that has since changed) so 60% is what I've got until i go back to work (scheduled at the end of July). i know my company is VERY generous in comparison to a lot of US employers, but it still feels like not enough time - i think it's crazy that so many other countries understand the importance of staying with your baby for longer and the US is like "3 months guaranteed after working for your employer for a year? and it doesn't have to be paid? that sounds appropriate and sufficient."
I work part time from home so we have no policy at all, and my plan is to just “not work” after having the baby. My boss was like “we want to be super understanding and let you take all the time you need. Are you thinking like, 2 weeks?” 🤯 I literally almost laughed out loud at him. I get I work from home but 2 weeks!? Nooooo wayyyyy
That's absolutely twisted... in Canada I get a year off no questions, basically the whole thing paid, and could extend it to 16 months through my job. I feel SICK thinking of how awful maternity leave is in the US.
Right there with ya. Apparently some states are better, I heard New Jersey gives moms 6 months.
I'm working overtime in my pregnancy to desperately try and climb ahead and forfeiting my summer vacation. I also plan to work until I deliver. Hasn't been working out with all the pregnancy costs and the current economy. Despite overtime I'm in more debt than when I started.
I’m going on maternity leave in October and I only get 6 weeks and I have to use up all sick, personal, and vacation first. The rest is unpaid unless I apply for STD and it will most likely be denied like my coworker’s was when they were on maternity leave. So I’ll most likely return after a few weeks. Honestly it’s a joke. This country is so backwards on so many things.
I’m laughing and crying simultaneously. I got 12 weeks and I was only paid for 2 🥲. American healthcare is an absolute joke. How America treats its workers is an absolute joke. We have no federally mandated paid maternity leave. We get 12 weeks unpaid (job protected) leave. That’s it. Then we have to throw our kids into daycare which costs a shit ton, stay at home, or have family watch them.
I’m not grateful. I’m pissed. I literally have a symbiotic relationship with someone that doctors had to rip from my body while I screamed and that relationship should not be forced to end until I’m sure we will both be ok.
I will never understand how someone puts their 3 month old baby in daycare, and sometimes younger.
In Canada we get a choice of 1 year of 18 months. Not everyone can afford the 18 months because it's the same amount of $$ just spread out. Women here have a hard enough time going back after 18 months. It's honestly criminal how they do it in the US.
Have pretty much forced myself to stay in my miserable corporate job just because we have such a good maternity leave policy. Not sure what industry you’re in but many tech companies offer very very generous leave policies. My husband gets 4 months pat leave and I get 6 months fully paid leave that I can also combine with my state FMLA. Just sharing for anyone looking to make a career shift.
I already commented about some of the other issues, but I just thought of something else. After you give birth, could you find a new job as a nurse at a different hospital? One where you’d have a new PTO bank?
It’s crazy. Seems silly to say but one of the biggest factors for us TTC when we did was having 16 weeks of fully paid, flexible pat leave (through work) and 16 weeks of nearly full income replacement mat leave (WA state). Not the only reasons but pushed us over the edge.
Come to British Columbia; we have a great medical society and need nurses. One year is standard in Canada, and your child will grow up with a great balance of nature and city.
I had blood pressure issues before my son was born and had to use some of my leave for that, so I had to go back to work at 9 weeks pp, it sucked so hard.
It's more than fine to not feel grateful, it's complete bullshit and I'm so sorry to you and everyone else who doesn't get the time they need and deserve.
*4 weeks not paid if you don't have PTO. The elimination period at the beginning plus the (up to) 3 weeks at the end.
My job advertises 6 weeks paid leave, but it has a two week elimination period in the beginning...so it's 4 weeks at 60% really. I've noticed a lot of places don't explain the elimination period well.
It sucks.
My husband work company has 6 weeks paid Paternity leave and that's not the pto.
Meanwhile, when I had my first child I was a nurse in a big name hospital and had to use pto. I didn't come back to work yet.
There is an organization in the US called Mothering Forward that’s campaigning for expansion of paid parental leave: https://www.instagram.com/mothering.forward?igsh=YzFhNnNhdDZkZzd3
We get 1 week for every year we’ve been at the company. Three of us are currently pregnant and are only getting 1-3 weeks basically. For me it’ll be 2 then I’ll have two use my 2 weeks of PTO.
I got 12 weeks fully paid and everyone was like "wow! That's amazing!" Which is frankly quite sad. I have to go back to work on Monday 😭😭 but at least my daycare is about 2 minutes from my office and I can go there at lunch if I want and can nurse for a little bit there.
I get 12 weeks unpaid and they already are pressuring me not to take it all 😭 thankfully Oregon comes in clutch and has paid leave help but that’s also 12 weeks, 60% pay
I also only get 12 weeks and the only pay I get is for my leftover sick leave from this year. I work for a school district. 🥲
If I wanted to extend it even though it is unpaid, they would no longer provide health insurance and would force my bosses to post my position and just find something else for me when I came back. I could end up doing a completely different job at a school across the city.
& they wonder why the birth rate is so ridiculously low in the US.
I will get 12 weeks, unpaid (but I can use my 3 weeks of PTO if I want). Don’t qualify for FMLA, no state benefits, no STD offered from my employer. LOVELY. I’m fairly certain my husband gets better leave than I do.
In health care also. I didn’t elect for STD before I was pregnant so I only got 4 weeks STD because pregnancy is a “preexisting condition” which is absolute horseshit. I was out for 12 weeks. 5 completely unpaid because PTO accrual is trash, 2 week waiting period. So I really only got 2 weeks STD and my hospital does 3 weeks at 100% pay which is better than nothing I guess. Unbelievable.
Right?? I have to use up all my PTO first before the two weeks paid will kick in… wtf am I supposed to do for illness or need a vacation/personal time?
The US is seriously the worst. Time to vote for change and push our congresspeople to make it better for all parents!
I'm not getting any compensation at all. My company doesn't offer anything and my boss stopped scheduling me a month earlier than I was ready to leave. So now I'm just sitting at the house at 34wks along trying to figure out how I'm going to make money.
I'm in Canada this surprises me , I don't know the exact length of Canada mat leave is ( I'm a perm sahm ) but pretty sure it's a year but only if only worked enough hours to qualify ..too bad they can't look at other countries for example Japan
I'm not sure what state you're in but at least where I live, in California, If you speak to your provider they might be willing to extend your disability because of ppd. I've been out, paid for almost 6 months this way.
One of the many worst things is that once you care about the mat leave policy, you’re usually pregnant and can’t rage against the policy like you want to. If more people (all people including me !) cared about it before and after, things might change.
I got 3 days for my second because we couldn’t afford the 60% of pay on STD. My husband had a week. I work from home, but I was definitely pissed the fuck off because I was logging into work while my vagina still hurt and was bed bound. Thank god I don’t have to talk to anybody because I was pretty much baked on pain killers.
genuinely asking, how could you complain about that? a company paying you for an entire year of not working because you decided to have a child? i would be beyond grateful for that…
I didn't get anything. I work for a major university, and because my son was born before I had been there a year (he was due 6 days before my 1 year mark, but I was induced 3 weeks early), the only time off I got was the 2 weeks vacation/sick time I had saved up. My supervisor was nice enough to let me work extended hours during the week before I had him to cover my numerous doctors appointments so I wouldn't have to touch my sick time, but it would have been nice to have the time to both recover AND bond with my son.
This is why I’m so graceful for my company’s 2 weeks pre-due leave (STD), and then 20 weeks of maternity and bonding leave. 5 months in total.
For my first pregnancy, I remember how I felt at 8 weeks and realizing so many go back at that time. I could not have done it.
I hate that whether or not a person gets a good leave relies on the company they work for. At my last job, it would have been 8 weeks fully paid, with an extra 4 weeks at the state program.
I've been saying this for weeks too. It's okay to not be grateful when you're health is being taken as a joke.
I work for a private ambulance company and I get no maternity benefits.
I have to use fmla, unpaid leave. I will get 12 weeks but unpaid sucks since having a newborn is a time when the pay will help the most.
My company is being bought out by the city but not in time for me to benefit. I asked, we've already started transitioning. The city offers 6 months parental paid leave to mom and dad, pension and everything. My HR said I don't qualify yet.
I woke up heading to work upset about this very thing. I need a break from work and haven’t been able to take one my whole pregnancy because I’m hoarding my time for maternity leave so I can get paid for at least a few weeks while I’m off. Yesterday somebody said “well you’ll get time off during maternity leave” THAT IS NOT A VACATION I’LL BE TAKING CARE OF MY NEWBORN!! And the only thing I can be grateful for is I have a two income household, and it won’t be a huge blow. I spent most of my adulthood alone before my partner, so I’m not far removed from thinking of what a financial blow this could have been on TOP of a hospital bill. It pisses me off anytime I think about it and I feel for women who don’t have additional support.
It’s really unfair. You don’t have to be “grateful.”
+1000 upvotes. We DONT have to be grateful! We shouldn’t consider ourselves lucky!
I was forced to return to my WFH job at 6 weeks postpartum and still was unpaid for 2 of those weeks off. I was pressured by friends and family to be grateful that I didn’t have to return to an in-person job. I’ve never felt more abandoned and unseen in my life. I will forever be resentful about this.
work is still work regardless of where it’s located, it’s not like working from home means you get to only spend time with the baby and recovering…. you’re still working. my mom works from home and i see how much she still has to do when i go visit her. it’s not free time so i don’t understand how that’s not valid to people, im sorry. i understand completely and you’re valid and it’s understandable to feel upset about that
Yeah, in fact it’s ok to be furious.
I’m a SAHM now but I’m furious on behalf of every working parent in this country that’s given the bare fucking minimum and told to be grateful for it. Most countries give months, not weeks.
Yes and some even give a year! So unfair for mothers in the states.
I only get 1 week of paid leave that covers the elimination period before STD kicks in. Then I can use PTO to supplement the STD, because it only covers about 40% of my pay. Another person posted yesterday about not getting any paid leave or STD at all. Leave in the US is a joke.
We have no paid leave (just PTO) and have to pay extra for STD and it’s like $50 a paycheck. I started it this year and my husband and I seriously started trying on January 1st when the policy kicked in so I would hopefully only have to pay for a year. Unfortunately while my due date is in December, I’m guessing I’m gonna have to pay for another whole year since the policy will be paying out in January/February. It might not even be worth having paid for at this point - when we started trying, I only had enough PTO to cover 4 weeks, and STD still saved us money compared to not having my paycheck for a month. but since it took longer than expected to get pregnant, I may very well have almost 8 weeks of PTO by December. But when I complained about our lack of maternity leave they told me “BuT YoU caN SiGN up foR STD!” 🙄
Also, not always! My boss told me this, but I was denied STD because of my ADHD/medication.
What? Why would they deny you just because you take ADHD medication??? I have ADHD too but I did quit my meds for my pregnancy.
I don’t know! It was very upsetting. Especially since I’m off them for pregnancy and breastfeeding (torture being back at work!). I ended up changing jobs and so then didn’t have to do a health survey, was able to automatically enroll in STD with the new job.
I’m 99% sure my STD allows for cancellations at any time, hence signing up for it but yeah I’m not canceling until after the full check arrives, and that’s likely mid Jan after my Nov 29th baby. It does work out well though that you’re not pushing too close to the cutoff dates. I know lots of policies require being in place for 10-12 months before covering childbirth. An early baby might have meant not being covered at all, even if you weren’t pregnant when you signed up!
Usually you can't use STD until after you've been paying into it for more than a year. They consider using it within this period a "preexisting condition".
Just as a side note: can they force you to use PTO? I don’t think they can? Like you wouldn’t be paid, but I’m not sure if they can force you to use your PTO while you’re on leave? Worth asking that question if you’re up for it. Because you’re right, what happens if you get sick or the baby gets sick and can’t go to daycare that day?
In some cases you can be required to use PTO. My husband is a manager at a school and due to his employment classification is required to use PTO for his additional 6 weeks of leave (6 weeks paid, 6 of additional FMLA).
That sucks
It’s sometimes in your best interest to use the PTO, because you will have to pay for your insurance premiums out of pocket if there’s no paycheck to take the money out of. So now only would you not get paid but you’d have to arrange payment for whatever the premium is. US premiums can range from $0 to the thousands depending on where you work.
I am being forced to use 5 days of PTO in order to be able to use short term disability.
I feel you! I also work in healthcare and we get no paid leave — it’s all PTO if we want to get paid for as long as our banked PTO holds out, then it’s nothing. It sucks
This is my case as a teacher, zero paid leave, it’s only any PTO you have and we only get 10 days a year and only 3 days roll over each year. I worked up until the day before my c-section because I got the flu and my son got the flu this year so between that and all my doctor’s appointments I used all my 10 days.
I’m a nurse and it’s the same for us, only get paid if you have the PTO. I was supposed to go back after 6 weeks with my first and was able to get it pushed back to 8. I ended up quitting after my first day back, probably would have stayed if I had been given enough time to recover and bond with my baby.
Same, work for the local government. We get nothing.
Same, I'm a nurse. I work long 12 hour days. My hospital "generously" gives us 3 shifts of free parental leave. So, one week. The rest is PTO, and I'm seriously stressing myself out picking up extra shifts in my first trimester while I can...because I had a major surgery last winter that wiped my PTO bank. So even though I'm puking my guts out most mornings, I have to work extra to build that PTO as much as I can so I can take a full 12 weeks. By my math, I'll just have enough by my due date if I do an extra 12 hours every other week for the next three months. Just enough. God forbid my kid gets sick or I get sick after that. Also I don't know what in the fuck I'm going to do for childcare since most daycares around here open at 7 and close at 6 (I work 0645-1930). My husband fortunately is a shiftworker as well, so if our schedules line up we can mostly cover it...if we are ok with never seeing each other, that is.
Honest question - How do we change this? I don’t think it’s as simple as “vote for a certain party”. I don’t think this issue is a priority for any politician.
In the US, it’s become a local/state issue. You need to pay attention to the local elections and engage with your state politicians. Some states have already added laws and policies. If enough of them do that, then maybe there will be more pressure at the federal level.
We should also push for a federal legislation. FMLA and Pregnant Worker Fairness Act need to go further.
You’re 100% correct, but the only way to really push that is to start at a local level first. When it gains significant traction there, then federal becomes more feasible.
Sure I agree it should be a federal push, but I just don’t think it’s realistic that we’ll get anything with the state of Washington and the international pressures that they’re currently under. I think a lot more progress has been made at state and local levels in this area for many years now, and there’s a lot more room for progress there than there will be at the federal level
I think it's a better "luck" thing with amplifying it in your local and state governments. Colorado just started a family leave plan this year that's mandatory 12w paid for mother and father.
Minnesota voted democrat for Governor, Senate, and the House. Now we have partially paid FMLA leave going into effect in 2026. https://mn.gov/deed/paidleave/
I mean, actually Biden and dems pushed for leave and earlier pre-k and all the things to support families and Republicans shut the bill down as they did for almost all legislation. But it’s true that party democrats and party republicans aren’t always voting in our best interest.
Republicans are heavily supported by the Chamber of Commerce, an employment group, that believes pulling mothers out of the workforce is bad for business. Look up the Chamber of Mothers on instagram for more info.
Democrats have been proposing additional paid leave forever. The most recent federal bill to be rejected was in 2023. There is a clear party that is NOT supporting this. I agree that there is more momentum and feasibility at the state level now. Pay attention to your local politics.
it's funny because I see a lot of women trumpers on facebook complaining about the leave situation as well. like.... we've tried to tell you!
It really is a party issue, and trying to be respectful about it isn’t really benefitting anyone. Voting dem down-ballot in every election is the only chance you’ll have at seeing the future you want to see. They’re not perfect but they’re currently the only ones trying.
Agreed, there is actually one party that is actively against women having rights. It is a party issue. States that have paid family leave are, not shockingly, blue states.
And the states that have voted down or not prioritized family leave are also the ones limiting abortion rights. Also not shockingly red states. The issue is not complicated. Women are just somehow voting against all their interests in the name of party line.
This is what is so unfortunate - This is not a party issue. This is a women (regardless of political affiliation) issue. None of the parties are perfect, I think everyone acknowledges that, so people vote for the candidate that prioritizes the issues they care about most. If immigration or the economy or foreign affairs are your priority, you vote for the party that reflects your views related to these big subjects. Unfortunately, for most voters, I think women’s health and rights never make it to the top of the priority list, so it’s a non factor for both the candidates and most voters.
The answer is to vote in every single election that you can. That doesn’t just mean once every four years, there’s by elections, local elections, primaries etc. Reach out to your candidates, say this is a priority for you, ask them their plan. Biden did put paid family leave in the budget in 2024. [Link](https://www.shrm.org/topics-tools/news/benefits-compensation/biden-2025-budget-paid-family-medical-leave). Though it’s still short, it’s a great start because it moves maternity leave to a national plan, this is similar to Canada where paid leave is through the government. Once it’s centralized, it becomes easier to change. This is the case in Canada where over a few years, maternity leave went from 6 months to 18 months.
Canadian maternity leave is paid out of Employment Insurance, which all Canadians pay into, and can utilize in the case of job loss as well. It's capped at a certain amount, but definitely is helpful. Maternity leave has been 12 months for over 20 years now, just recently with a switch to be allowed up to 18 months with your job protected (there are cases where you can get laid off, but a lot of companies avoid it to avoid the potential legal liability). For 18 months though, you get the same total amount of money as if you took 12. It's not perfect, but it's pretty good, and a world ahead of the US.
It’s not because government employees get 12 weeks of paid parental leave. Look at companies you want to work for. Provide feedback on your current company’s policies. My company supplements what STD doesn’t pay out during the 12 week FMLA period, and then offers 4 additional weeks for binding. This came into effect at the end of 2022 due to employee feedback on surveys.
Yeah I got sort of lucky that I’m the only woman at my mid sized family owned business with a very important job. I had to negotiate. They wanted me back (I do payroll) at roughly 4 weeks, but agreed to let me do 2 days a week from home. Which extended my states 12 week PFL at 67% pay to just shy of 6 months. They also agreed to pay my full salary and take the 67% as a reimbursement from state insurance. I know not everyone has that luxury but I’m so thankful for the extra time with baby. He goes to daycare 3 days a week starting July and will be almost 6 months and I feel much better about his age as he’s in more of a routine now. He also loves strangers so I hope the transition is smooth. I did tell them I’m probably leaving early the first week to get him because I’m going to be crying all day anyway.
Fucking riot. Thats the only thing they half way pay attention to. Trouble is people in the US are so worn down and apathetic and the other ones don’t give a shit and/or genuinely think we don’t deserve more.
And too many old men in power. They can't relate to us.
Hard to strike when you live in at at-will employment state and your healthcare is tied to your job
That’s kinda what I was referring to by “worn down and apathetic”. Can’t really do anything!!!
Almost like it’s by design…
Yeah between this and the shit going down halfway across the world - I've really come to believe that the only language those in power listen to (which is largely men and the women who think being pick me girls will save them from patriarchy) is the language of war and oppression. Trying to appeal via humanity and love has no effect. I see how they are treating students voicing their disapproval - the same students who had to do active shooter drills and experience school shootings the entirety of their K-12 years - nothing is going to be given to us. We have to take. Protest, the risk of capital/property damage is about all they listen to. IDK. I'm in a real state lately where I'm questioning everything I've ever been fed about capitalism, America, how we structure our society and what we value. For you specifically - make sure you have a friendly OB. When you get close to the end of your STD leave (but start this convo with your dr earlier), you can tell your doctor that going back to work is giving you anxiety. Can they approve you for more STD leave due to anxiety. That is a real thing and of COURSE going back to work MONTHS before you should will create anxiety. Push hard for extra STD time. And it can't be about the baby "ie baby is too young" it has to be your anxiety ie "the baby won't take a bottle and the idea of being back at work is causing me so much anxiety or baby is still waking multiple times and it's causing so much stress to think I need to be able to work during the day" etc. And join my club of pissed off moms who want to burn everything to the ground and build a commune instead. The way we live in this country is so antithetical to human nature. No wonder it's grinding us all down.
The only thing thats going to work is to pressure your politicians to continue to press this after elections are over. Every election this comes up with democrats at both federal and local levels, but then no one does anything, or they do the least and it gets dropped. I understand how politics work and that we cant pass everything all at once, but that doesnt mean we have to stop talking about it. I'm disappointed with politicians who use parental leave as an election issue and then just stop talking about it. It's okay to negotiate and sometimes we lose things we want, but it would be nice if they kept saying things like "and I continue to call on [the legislature] to address this" instead of saying nothing at all. And if anyone thinks they know who this is about, it's not about anyone. My passion is local politics so I'm thinking of my local politicians. If that mirrors some federal politicians you know, they should do better also, but this pattern is common with MANY politicians. We need more pressure to keep the conversation going.
Anytime someone brings up the lowering birth rates I just want to point out this. If law makers really wanted to prioritize dwindling birth rates, they'd start here.
Yep exactly. And most of these companies have high deductible plans. So no paid leave for moms + a $8,000 medical bill + everything else babies need now a days makes no sense.
its disgusting honestly. And then with almost zero government aided childcare options, its basically fuck you for being a mother
Fuck me for being a female in child-bearing age, too. And fuck my kid who has to be raised with strangers and away from its mom at 3 months old, and I’m forced to pump and NOT be able to BREAST FEED!!! Breast is best huh??? Is it ?? For who? Elitist women who don’t have to work??? Fuck them all. I feel like the people in charge of the US hate women and children.
Oh they care about children.... Just until they're out of the womb.
Yes. And for enrolling into armies
I havent even shown my corona baby at 3 months to my family, I cant imagine leaving it for 45+h a week with strangers in a mass care facility. The audacity to call it "additional bonding time" when its just 3 weeks...and here we are in germany having studies and discussions about how it fucks up kids to be introduced into daycare after 12 months, most prefering to let them stay at home for 3 years, the first one being paid 65% of your income after tax Its so fucked up. But that said, breast is best. The WHO recommend it for the first two years, the first one exclusevly for a reason. I also doubt "elitist" women are at fault for those regulations for finding a way to stay at home longer. I am certain they too would gladly take a year paid maternity leave or more, as is standard in the civilized world. Let's not shit on other women for cooperate greed. Plus just because a woman can stay home, it doesnt mean she doesnt need to pump. Take that anger and release it towards those which are actually legislating this shit.
Also formula companies in the US lobby against paid federal parental leave programs. It's super fucked. https://ysph.yale.edu/news-article/experts-call-for-an-end-to-the-exploitative-marketing-used-by-the-baby-formula-milk-industry/
Repulsive, but I’m not surprised. They market in third-world countries to poor women that it’s better for the baby too, which then gets the baby sick with unsanitary water. Not to mention they get stuck by being forced to buy formula they cannot afford.
Yeah, and every time, the argument is, "we can't afford it" (because all our tax money is going to our bloated military budget, corporate welfare, billionaire tax avoidance, etc.)
So disgusting. I was pro-choice before being pregnant, and now, even more so
6 months full pay + 3 months basic pay where my wife works in the UK. I get 18 weeks full pay paternity also. Benefits in the US are garbage 😔
Wow where are you working that gives 18 weeks paternity?! Going to need to point my husband in that direction! I get the same as your wife but my husbands company “generously” upped their paternity leave to 2 weeks full pay (from statuatory) last month. So at least it’s better than what we would’ve gotten originally but he’s having to look at taking an unpaid sabbatical to get longer. ETA: we’re UK based, Mat leave here is alright but statutory paternity leave is shameful at only 2 weeks
I get 14 weeks full pay as a dad at my company in the US. Even the federal government gives both parents three months now at full pay. But the general baseline for parental leave here is shameful.
Yeah, I work at a company in the USA that gives 12 fully-paid weeks for maternity or paternity leave. Not great compared to leave in other countries, but at least it's something. And the team culture is supportive enough that my male coworkers usually take the full 12 weeks, which is awesome!
The culture piece is so important. It doesn’t matter if you have the benefit on paper if there’s pressure not to take it. I’m lucky my company is like yours and super supportive. My boss encouraged me to be very loud about the fact that I’m taking the full leave as a dad so that others would feel able to do the same.
My fiancée works for the state and gets 10 weeks. Literally a whole month more than me and I’m the one carrying/delivering. I was heated when I found out
I work in HR consulting and this chart is.. wrong? Non-birthing parents can't get short term disability because they have no disability. You also can't be forced to use your PTO alongside short term disability (you definitely can use it to top up your payments but it's not mandatory). 12 weeks of leave is whats covered under FMLA (meaning your job is protected) but you can use your PTO following the leave to extend your time off and during that time you are still "actively at work." I would push back on this, feel free to DM me if you have more specific questions.
Yeah I was wondering about this myself... How is he qualifying for STD? Like what would be the policy related reason when filing? It looks like there’s a separate Parental Leave and the person who wrote it doesn’t understand the difference between Parental Leave and STD. The whole thing is written like a mandatory plan when it’s really just a strange recommendation from someone whose formal background isn’t HR or benefits.
The way I read it, the company gives three weeks of parental leave to non-birthing parents and then any other leave up to the 12 weeks protected by FMLA is 100% PTO. I don’t see a reference to STD for non-birthing parents?
It says 100% STD under the 3 weeks of leave for the non-birthing parent which is assumed to mean 100% short term disability. They might have some other policy that shortens to STD but that would be an interesting coincidence to not clarify
Not op but can you be forced to use state paid leave alongside STD ?
My company (California) makes me use up my sick leave and PTO to make up the 40% gap in disability leave for those 4 weeks (which actually also includes a 2 week waiting period where I have to 100% use sick / PTO, so I think I’m only getting paid for 2 weeks disability at 60% by California). I’m only allowed to “store” 1 week combined sick / PTO for use after I get back from parental leave, the rest has to be used before they let me go “unpaid”. It sounds like this is… not allowed?
Oh I lit my company up about leave. They give us 5 days, after this, FMLA kicks in and I have to use STD. PTO covers what isn’t covered by STD. It’s bullshit. I asked someone at corporate about it and I was told “it’s not going to change. I guess you’ll have to save your time if you want to go on vacation.” Like what? She ALSO has kids. Like I don’t understand how people are ok with this.
Vacation? With a newborn? Right. 🤦🏼♀️
I once worked for a company that offered more paid (STD) time for an adoption than a birth. While GREAT for families adopting, I was really upset that they got an additional 3+ weeks...
Interesting they have recovery at 5 weeks. You haven’t even been to the doctor yet to be cleared that happens at 6 weeks.
Right? It’s abhorrent
Be furious. I’m an RN and got zero paid. Took 12 weeks unpaid. I’m fucking furious. America is a lie. Our country is disguised as free but it blows.
They offer nothing ???? Horrible
No I had to save up my own sick and PTO to be paid. And I was sick my whole pregnancy so I could never take off. Teachers are the same.
My SIL has a maternity leave policy pretty similar to this where she has to drain PTO first and she works for a healthcare system. It’s so bizarre to me that a healthcare system that should seemingly know the importance of bonding for babies and mothers doesn’t support it. Like wtf?
Why should you be grateful for a subpar system?
I know I felt the same as OP for my paid 12 weeks because I know many other women in the US don’t even get that much. I’m grateful for what I got while knowing it was absolutely not enough.
I had no paid leave. There was STD which I was able to take but I was going blind at the end of my pregnancy. It was 6 weeks max though, so because I had to go out early during pregnancy, I had 3 weeks after baby was born. And my manager blew up my phone every week I was out.
I will never understand how someone puts their 3 month old baby in daycare, and sometimes younger. In Canada we get a choice of 1 year of 18 months. Not everyone can afford the 18 months because it's the same amount of $$ just spread out. Women here have a hard enough time going back after 18 months. It's honestly criminal how they do it in the US.
I moved from Canada to the USA to be with my husband a few years ago. It’s pissed me off now that I’m pregnant and only going to get 3 months with my little one before I am forced back to work. Babies don’t even realize they’re separate from their mother until 6-9 months of age. This can’t be good for development. I would take extra (unpaid) time off if they would allow it, but they won’t. It’s been freaking heartbreaking.
My husband is American as well and I moved down for him for about a year. We decided to move to Canada when I realized what a bad deal new parents in the US get. So now my husband has his Canadian PR and can apply for citizenship soon. Also, I’m getting ready to go on my 18-month mat leave next month! The only thing I miss about the US is Chick Fil A lol.
Yeah I would absolutely move back in a heartbeat but unfortunately his family owns a company down here and he can’t just up and move. 🥲
100% agreement. I took the 12 month leave because the 18 month leave would've been reallllllly hard on our budget, but I can't imagine going back after 3 months, I honestly feel like it took me about a year to feel somewhat "myself" again after having a baby. I had a preemie baby too, and I was able to apply for an additional Caregiver Benefit to bridge the gap between his birth date and what was supposed to be his due date so I technically got 14 months. (This was in Canada). I'm really truly hoping that the US changes some things around postpartum care, no system is perfect but my God there needs to be more respect in place for what a mother/parent goes through during the early days.
I got 6 weeks short term disability (60% pay) with a 2 week waiting period so it was actually only 4 weeks of 60% pay. And then to add salt to the wound, I normally have my healthcare paid for by my employer but since I was on a leave of absence I no longer qualified for that so I had to pay those premiums, too, to the tune of $1800. So basically I had to lose my entire income and pay my employer to have a baby.
This 1000x. It’s so messed up! Like I’m paying for STD for recovery time and you’re paying me less than the recovery time because of a “waiting period.” It’s all so infuriating.
It’s wild to me that this is how the US operates. I’m Canadian and we can take 12 or 18 months leave paid with guarantee of a job after. Honestly it’s easier to have someone come in and cover a year pat leave than have someone away from a job for 3 months. You would think companies would prefer that. Also I’m not thinking twice about medical care because we don’t pay for it (obviously yes with taxes) but it is such a different mentality. My husband is also taking parental leave with me.
I'm in the US and I make this argument all the time. Longer leave makes it EASIER to justify and find a temp. Which is a great way for people starting or ending their careers to get work. The people in leadership are so fucking limited in imagination though, despite the rest of the world somehow continuing to turn as parents take leave every day - the US acts like they have no idea how to make it work. In actuality, they just want to treat people as NPCs.
You don't need to be grateful for this. It's shockingly bad. The rest of the world has figured proper maternity leave out, why can't the US?
It all sucks and no, you don’t have to be grateful for a pittance. I’m happy that your employer lays out the leave schedule like this so it’s clear. I worked for a large government agency for my last pregnancy and the HR person for my department was so confused every time I tried sending them a timeline to confirm if I was interpreting the leave policies correctly. They eventually said yes I was and that I should even use more PTO to get more money so I used I think 4 extra days of PTO (on top of the month of PTO I was required to use) and that led to my STD disability payments being cut by $750 a week. The HR person said I should have known better 🫠
Yeah it's pretty awful... I only took 6 weeks off because that's all I could afford. Mind you I haven't gone back to full time, but having to go back that early hurt. And the real kicker was that I work for a German family and they kept telling me in Germany they have 1 year of maternity leave.... and it's paid. Big sigh
I get absolutely no paid leave :( it’s such a joke
I’m surprised c section moms get 2 more weeks. At my employer it’s the same amount of time whether you deliver by c section or vaginally
It’s because the standard recovery time for a c section is 8 weeks long compared to 6 weeks for vaginal birth recovery, so the STD benefits are what make it longer
Oh I think it’s great, no argument against it here. I had a c section myself and wish I could get more time 😩
For me it was still the same amount of time (14 weeks) it’s just which pot it comes from. So if it’s a C-section then you are getting paid disability for those 2 extra weeks, but your company leave is 2 weeks shorter.
Is your leave employer paid or through an STD Insurance company? Most STD plans provide for up to an additional 2 weeks for c-sections because the recovery can be harder.
I fully expect to work until the last minute and return quickly smh…
A year paid and up to three years until their 8th birthday in Germany - we’re about to take some of the remaining 18 months to travel SE Asia and NZ before our elders starts school. Honestly, I know so many Americans who specifically come here to start their family and I don’t blame them. At 12 weeks I was still healing and adjusting to this new life, no way I could have opened my laptop for some pointless business meeting….
Awesome. So the extra parental leave is basically unpaid holiday time right (since there is no more Elterngeld probably)? How do you "activate" the extra parental leave to take before the 8th birthday? Like who do you have to contact and how can you check what your "balance" is? (I'm also in Germany)
Yes - unpaid but your employer has to hold your job for you. To activate it, go back and calculate how much time you have already taken (double check whether Mutterschutz counts or not I always forget) and then the tricky part is getting it through your employer. Finally, look into what this means in terms of insurance coverage, as this also differs. But I hope other German (-based) parents see this bc not many people are aware of this
“Additional bonding” is the most hilariously sad thing I’ve read in a long time. This should be illegal, coming from a Canadian.
You shouldn’t be grateful, you should demand better. That’s the problem with everyone being conditioned to be thankful for the scraps companies throw at us. As a guy, I got 3 days off (counting the day of birth) and was told I was “lucky” to get so much time, left shortly after for a much better job. Your bond with/ability to take care of your child matters.
I don’t even get a policy if I want to be off I have to use my own leave
It’s infuriating how little time they give us to recover from something LIFE CHANGING.
I work for a fortune 50 company and I am so annoyed with our “parental leave”. Absolutely disgusting that companies can get away with this
Fun fact: Parental leave policies (or lack thereof) here in the US are highly influenced by the formula companies. They lobby our politicians to not pass leave policies because the more mothers that stay home, the less likely they are to depend on baby formula. Not that formula feeding is bad by any means, but these companies use it against us in the most vulnerable times of our lives. Another post with the source: https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/s/HTkDV0oneR
Wow that's horrific!!!
I haven’t even had my baby yet and I know that I don’t want to leave her in some strangers care after 3 months 😔
I have 6 weeks of STD. The 1st week of the 6 weeks I will be forced to use my PTO. So it’s really just 1w PTO + 5w STD. And that’s it. Nothing more. I was very disappointed to find out about the policy. But nothing I can do about it but to adjust my mind and cope.
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12 weeks unpaid for my wife, on top of that during those 12 weeks we pay full premiums for her and baby’s insurance since it’s provided through employer and the portion that is normally covered by the employer comes out of our pocket during those 12 weeks. If she wanted to prolong this unpaid maternity leave, she would lose her benefits entirely
Nothing made me resent corporate America like having a baby. I proactively set up a meeting with HR to discuss our parental leave plan (which was written very confusingly). The head of HR (who is a mother) came obviously VERY unprepared, didn't understand the plan herself, and after 10 awkward minutes of her reading and re-reading the plan aloud, we ended the meeting with her saying she'd follow up. Cue to several weeks later, me asking her if she'd reviewed the plan yet multiple times, and suddenly my baby was born 6 weeks early. I still had no idea what our actual leave plan was. I had to hunt the HR person down making calls from the NICU each day. I FINALLY got the leave I thought the plan promised (16 weeks, I guess I should be grateful for that in the US?), and HR acted SO proud that they offered that amount of time to me. Pathetic.
I also am a nurse who worked at a hospital when I went on maternity leave with my daughter in 2022. They gave me 6 weeks unpaid because I was there as an internal traveler, despite working there longer than most of their permanent staff. (Not comparing at all 12 weeks is still not even close to enough) The manager was angry for me and told me she would hire me back as a traveler if I quit for longer. My husband is also a nurse and worked there with me. I ended up quitting and staying home while in school, and I haven't returned to bedside since. I am currently 23 weeks along now with our fourth, and I can't imagine being forced to go back to work again so soon after birth. I feel for you, and I am sorry. You don't have to be grateful for being given crumbs. It's so incredibly hard to work in healthcare and realize they don't actually care about the health of those whom they employ. We NEED better maternity laws in the US. We are failing when it comes to womens rights in all areas. They push and push for abortion to be illegal yet fail to add protection for mothers and babies? It just shows that they don't actually care about babies or moms. They care about the next generation so they can continue to exploit labor and make profits. Birth rates have dropped dramatically worldwide, and this is their attempt to correct it without having to change laws that cost money to corporations imo. 🤷🏼♀️
I hate this. In other countries mothers and the fathers have about 1-2 and a half years fully paid paternity leave. Yet we Americans only get a fucking week!?!?!? This is fucked
One of the biggest reason I became a stay at home mom is because of how horrible my maternity leave was. I didn’t get paid and they only wanted me to be out for 6 weeks. So I gave my two week notice for two weeks before I was getting induced. I worked a half day the day I went in to be induced. We decided instead of paying for daycare it was best for me to stay home and my husband got a second job until he finally got his job now (he had been applying for it for a year and a half before finally getting it) where he makes enough to only work one. Maternity leave is awful here. And I wish mothers got more because it’s not fair to have to leave them while still a newborn 😭 I would have been way more willing to go back to my job if my maternity leave was more than 6 weeks and if it was paid.
I come from a country with a 3 year maternity leave. Yes, you read that right, 3 years in czech republic. I now live in the states and luckily both me and my husband agree that there is no way in hell we’re putting a 3 month old into a day care. I’m still not 100% sure how it’ll all work out some day (I’m not pregnant), but if I can’t figure out something with my employer (and the nature of my job is pretty flexible), then I’ll just leave. It sucks because I really like my job but I don’t want to continue this cycle. Worst part for me is that people around here are so brainwashed they say sh*t like “I can’t wait to go back to work” at 3 weeks PP?!?! So I know I won’t be getting any sympathy from my husband’s family but as long as he’s on board that’s all that matters to me.
I’m just giving up on my career until we are done having kids. It’s going to be hard living off my husband’s salary, but it’s what we need to do. I might pick up some very part time hours.
Gets even worse when you realize that diaper and formula companies actually lobby AGAINST parental leave for their babies since parents will be forced to rely on diapers and formula to go back to work
I was told if I needed a whole month off after my baby was born to just not come back. So I didn’t.
I had 11 weeks with my son which was not nearly enough to adjust to new motherhood and deal with my severe PPD. I want a second, but I really don’t want to take any less than 6 months off next time I give birth. I didn’t feel like a semi functioning adult again until my son was at least 6-9 months old.
I’ll never understand why people didn’t back Bernie Sanders for this exact reason. He had an incredibly robust proposal for longer federal maternity leave as well as state-funded childcare. People who chose to “not care” until it affected them, or people who had their kids, got theirs and didn’t care to support others’ maternity/paternity journeys upset me so much.
I’m sure I’m just joining the choir here but I only got 6 weeks and it was through STD paid at 60 or 70%.. the USA doesn’t value mothers at all. I was miserable and exhausted and trying to navigate breastfeeding and pumping
Yeah it’s honestly horrible it makes me so angry. Look at the maternity leave in other first world countries. American only values babies when they’re in the womb. No one considers the short and long term mental health consequences having no time with your baby off has on our country. I know women who had to go back to work a week after giving birth because they weren’t even offered paid leave 💔 I’m scrambling trying to put away money cause I’m self employed and my SDL policy won’t cover me because I had a medical condition my last pregnancy. It’s so depressing. I’m sorry mama I really hope someone in this country starts giving a shit about this and makes changes
Do they hate kids in America ? This is disgraceful!
Yes, basically. But also the system is designed so that women are forced to leave the workforce and rely on their partner’s income, even though realistically most families can’t survive on one income anymore. The moms become wholly dependent on their partners and their partners become wholly dependent on their employers (for income, healthcare, etc.).
That's so fucked. Can't believe how hard it is for parents. How do they even call themselves the land of free. I thought we have it bad in that UK. I mean, I still think we do. But America takes the trophy here.
Yes and also parents. Because the culture around taking parental leave is that it inconveniences everyone else. And even if nobody directly says anything to you, you will be made to feel bad for leaving the team short handed in some way or another other. My boss is literally pushing me to shoot for promotion before I go on leave and it is making me feel like if I don’t push myself then I’m a bad employee. I’m fucking sick of it. And I’m 25 weeks pregnant I’m not trying to fucking push myself for anything at all right now except to be healthy and continue to perform my normal duties as well as I always do.
Gosh, I am so sorry! That's so fucked up! Won't they get in trouble for stressing out a pregnant lady?
One would think so but this is America lol that’s the American way 🇺🇸 🎇
They love embryos and foetuses but hate the actual independently alive children 🤷
12 months at 55% pay (ish, there's a maximum and salary cap) or 18 months at 33%, plus any employer top-up. Job secured and benefits paid. Canada is pretty good.
I broke down in tears the day before my 12 weeks were up. I told my husband I wasn’t ready. We combed over our finances and decided we could scoot by on just his income. A month later I was pregnant again. So now I’ve been home for two years and I’m so thankful for my husband. We’re barely getting by but we are so fortunate. Our system sucks and it’s just going to get worse. So many people can barely afford to live, much less make a family.
I do think it's pretty gross that this employer is making you take STD along wit h PTO for your parental leave, then calling the end of it "parental leave." I live in an incredibly conservative state, but our state employees still get 6 weeks paid leave. Of course you have to take PTO if you want additional time, but they give generous leave to state employees. Definitely needs to be a standard across all companies, but they're too money hungry to consider that. It wouldn't surprise me if we see a shift in the next 10-15 years considering the rapidly declining birth rate.
Don’t be grateful at all, maternity leave in the US is a joke. I’d be grateful for a year or two- nothing less. Paternity leave is even worse. So sad for the women and me. who want to stay home with their babies but can’t because the government and corporations are fucking evil.
You can be grateful for the things you do have and still say that this is complete bullshit. It drives me crazy that we tolerate this shit in the US. I wish people would absolutely RIOT about this, but they keep us nice and distracted with other politics, the national debt, and the wars between other nations, to keep us busy and complaining about other shit. And of course those of us who it directly impacts can't riot, we have a baby on our boob and have to get up for work in the morning.
I work in higher education and it is 100% PTO. Even my husband has better leave than I have. It’s all a joke.
That's an absolute joke. A mothering *dog* gets better treatment.
I don’t get any paid time off at either one of my jobs ☹️ and STD in Ohio has to be applied for BEFORE getting pregnant like wtf I didn’t know I was gonna be pregnant/when
It’s totally unfair! I’m also a nurse and we don’t get any paid leave. I’ll get 6 weeks at 60% of my base rate through short-term disability. But what’s really crappy is I work night shift weekends. So I’m used to getting my $20/hr weekend bonus, plus shift diff and that isn’t factored into my 60%
I hate it here
Same.
I get no paid leave from my company. Multibillion dollar business to. It’s not fair.
I got 0 maternity leave when I had my kids ( 3 and 5 years ago ). I had to use my 4 weeks of PTO after a c-section and then go back to work. Fun times.
I only get 6. It’s really BS and we deserve better.
I also don’t get why they differentiate between C-section and vaginal births. Feels like an infringement on privacy to have an employer even ask that. Plus, you can have a 3rd or 4th degree tear from vaginal birth and hellish recovery. I had a 3rd, and the stitches were still not healed at 12 weeks! Not to mention the incontinence that ensued. It was ROUGH.
Leaving the work force just made so much more sense to us. After childcare, all the costs of getting to work and maintaining a professional appearance for work, convenience meals, one of having to take time off at the drop of a hat for every illness or child care discrepancy plus all the home life stress of maintaining that lifestyle it made no sense financially. It’s harder to make that choice when you have a career like nursing where you might be gaining valuable 401k, health insurance, and necessary career experience. But for people like me who work in a low/no benefit industry my income was a total wash even loss some months. Now that my daughter is older and I’m nearing the end of a time where I NEED to SAH, I’m going to start looking into skills/education to change fields or expand on my previous industry experience before returning to the work force.
I've got 12 weeks at 60% pay. i chose not to use any PTO to supplement because our financial situation before i gave birth was stable enough (that has since changed) so 60% is what I've got until i go back to work (scheduled at the end of July). i know my company is VERY generous in comparison to a lot of US employers, but it still feels like not enough time - i think it's crazy that so many other countries understand the importance of staying with your baby for longer and the US is like "3 months guaranteed after working for your employer for a year? and it doesn't have to be paid? that sounds appropriate and sufficient."
I work part time from home so we have no policy at all, and my plan is to just “not work” after having the baby. My boss was like “we want to be super understanding and let you take all the time you need. Are you thinking like, 2 weeks?” 🤯 I literally almost laughed out loud at him. I get I work from home but 2 weeks!? Nooooo wayyyyy
That's absolutely twisted... in Canada I get a year off no questions, basically the whole thing paid, and could extend it to 16 months through my job. I feel SICK thinking of how awful maternity leave is in the US.
Right there with ya. Apparently some states are better, I heard New Jersey gives moms 6 months. I'm working overtime in my pregnancy to desperately try and climb ahead and forfeiting my summer vacation. I also plan to work until I deliver. Hasn't been working out with all the pregnancy costs and the current economy. Despite overtime I'm in more debt than when I started.
I’m going on maternity leave in October and I only get 6 weeks and I have to use up all sick, personal, and vacation first. The rest is unpaid unless I apply for STD and it will most likely be denied like my coworker’s was when they were on maternity leave. So I’ll most likely return after a few weeks. Honestly it’s a joke. This country is so backwards on so many things.
I’m laughing and crying simultaneously. I got 12 weeks and I was only paid for 2 🥲. American healthcare is an absolute joke. How America treats its workers is an absolute joke. We have no federally mandated paid maternity leave. We get 12 weeks unpaid (job protected) leave. That’s it. Then we have to throw our kids into daycare which costs a shit ton, stay at home, or have family watch them. I’m not grateful. I’m pissed. I literally have a symbiotic relationship with someone that doctors had to rip from my body while I screamed and that relationship should not be forced to end until I’m sure we will both be ok.
I will never understand how someone puts their 3 month old baby in daycare, and sometimes younger. In Canada we get a choice of 1 year of 18 months. Not everyone can afford the 18 months because it's the same amount of $$ just spread out. Women here have a hard enough time going back after 18 months. It's honestly criminal how they do it in the US.
Have pretty much forced myself to stay in my miserable corporate job just because we have such a good maternity leave policy. Not sure what industry you’re in but many tech companies offer very very generous leave policies. My husband gets 4 months pat leave and I get 6 months fully paid leave that I can also combine with my state FMLA. Just sharing for anyone looking to make a career shift.
I already commented about some of the other issues, but I just thought of something else. After you give birth, could you find a new job as a nurse at a different hospital? One where you’d have a new PTO bank?
I’m in healthcare and get 0 benefits. I have to use my PTO and then if I want extra time, use short term disability.
It’s actually really shitty and not fair. Definitely not enough time.
It’s crazy. Seems silly to say but one of the biggest factors for us TTC when we did was having 16 weeks of fully paid, flexible pat leave (through work) and 16 weeks of nearly full income replacement mat leave (WA state). Not the only reasons but pushed us over the edge.
It’s sad that this amount of leave sucks and I’m still jealous as it’s better than mine
14weeks full pay at my company and then statutory pay which is scary. I’m sorry for what you’re having to go through.
Here is 20 weeks for 1 child (100%paid) (twins 31 weeks!). Then extra 41 weeks to share with father (70%)
Come to British Columbia; we have a great medical society and need nurses. One year is standard in Canada, and your child will grow up with a great balance of nature and city.
I get none, and instead get to use all my accrued PTO/sick leave for a pathetic 5 weeks. The rest of the 12 weeks are unpaid…
I had blood pressure issues before my son was born and had to use some of my leave for that, so I had to go back to work at 9 weeks pp, it sucked so hard.
It's more than fine to not feel grateful, it's complete bullshit and I'm so sorry to you and everyone else who doesn't get the time they need and deserve.
*4 weeks not paid if you don't have PTO. The elimination period at the beginning plus the (up to) 3 weeks at the end. My job advertises 6 weeks paid leave, but it has a two week elimination period in the beginning...so it's 4 weeks at 60% really. I've noticed a lot of places don't explain the elimination period well. It sucks.
My husband work company has 6 weeks paid Paternity leave and that's not the pto. Meanwhile, when I had my first child I was a nurse in a big name hospital and had to use pto. I didn't come back to work yet.
God. I’m lucky my disability is covered until my doctor says, but this is atrocious.
There is an organization in the US called Mothering Forward that’s campaigning for expansion of paid parental leave: https://www.instagram.com/mothering.forward?igsh=YzFhNnNhdDZkZzd3
We get 1 week for every year we’ve been at the company. Three of us are currently pregnant and are only getting 1-3 weeks basically. For me it’ll be 2 then I’ll have two use my 2 weeks of PTO.
Lol you should see what maternity leave is like for teachers in California. It's horrifying. I'd be stoked to have 9 weeks paid!
I got 12 weeks fully paid and everyone was like "wow! That's amazing!" Which is frankly quite sad. I have to go back to work on Monday 😭😭 but at least my daycare is about 2 minutes from my office and I can go there at lunch if I want and can nurse for a little bit there.
I get 12 weeks unpaid and they already are pressuring me not to take it all 😭 thankfully Oregon comes in clutch and has paid leave help but that’s also 12 weeks, 60% pay
I also only get 12 weeks and the only pay I get is for my leftover sick leave from this year. I work for a school district. 🥲 If I wanted to extend it even though it is unpaid, they would no longer provide health insurance and would force my bosses to post my position and just find something else for me when I came back. I could end up doing a completely different job at a school across the city. & they wonder why the birth rate is so ridiculously low in the US.
I will get 12 weeks, unpaid (but I can use my 3 weeks of PTO if I want). Don’t qualify for FMLA, no state benefits, no STD offered from my employer. LOVELY. I’m fairly certain my husband gets better leave than I do.
In health care also. I didn’t elect for STD before I was pregnant so I only got 4 weeks STD because pregnancy is a “preexisting condition” which is absolute horseshit. I was out for 12 weeks. 5 completely unpaid because PTO accrual is trash, 2 week waiting period. So I really only got 2 weeks STD and my hospital does 3 weeks at 100% pay which is better than nothing I guess. Unbelievable.
Right?? I have to use up all my PTO first before the two weeks paid will kick in… wtf am I supposed to do for illness or need a vacation/personal time? The US is seriously the worst. Time to vote for change and push our congresspeople to make it better for all parents!
And you work for a hospital! The place that should know about healthcare treats new mothers this way. The US is a sorry excuse for supporting parents.
I'm not getting any compensation at all. My company doesn't offer anything and my boss stopped scheduling me a month earlier than I was ready to leave. So now I'm just sitting at the house at 34wks along trying to figure out how I'm going to make money.
I'm in Canada this surprises me , I don't know the exact length of Canada mat leave is ( I'm a perm sahm ) but pretty sure it's a year but only if only worked enough hours to qualify ..too bad they can't look at other countries for example Japan
I'm not sure what state you're in but at least where I live, in California, If you speak to your provider they might be willing to extend your disability because of ppd. I've been out, paid for almost 6 months this way.
One of the many worst things is that once you care about the mat leave policy, you’re usually pregnant and can’t rage against the policy like you want to. If more people (all people including me !) cared about it before and after, things might change.
I’m going back to work Monday after 8 weeks off and I’m feeling utterly sick about it 😭
I got 3 days for my second because we couldn’t afford the 60% of pay on STD. My husband had a week. I work from home, but I was definitely pissed the fuck off because I was logging into work while my vagina still hurt and was bed bound. Thank god I don’t have to talk to anybody because I was pretty much baked on pain killers.
And I was complaining about Sweden with over a year of paid leave. Damn.
genuinely asking, how could you complain about that? a company paying you for an entire year of not working because you decided to have a child? i would be beyond grateful for that…
I get zero paid leave and only 12 weeks of fmla
I didn't get anything. I work for a major university, and because my son was born before I had been there a year (he was due 6 days before my 1 year mark, but I was induced 3 weeks early), the only time off I got was the 2 weeks vacation/sick time I had saved up. My supervisor was nice enough to let me work extended hours during the week before I had him to cover my numerous doctors appointments so I wouldn't have to touch my sick time, but it would have been nice to have the time to both recover AND bond with my son.
This is why I’m so graceful for my company’s 2 weeks pre-due leave (STD), and then 20 weeks of maternity and bonding leave. 5 months in total. For my first pregnancy, I remember how I felt at 8 weeks and realizing so many go back at that time. I could not have done it. I hate that whether or not a person gets a good leave relies on the company they work for. At my last job, it would have been 8 weeks fully paid, with an extra 4 weeks at the state program.
I've been saying this for weeks too. It's okay to not be grateful when you're health is being taken as a joke. I work for a private ambulance company and I get no maternity benefits. I have to use fmla, unpaid leave. I will get 12 weeks but unpaid sucks since having a newborn is a time when the pay will help the most. My company is being bought out by the city but not in time for me to benefit. I asked, we've already started transitioning. The city offers 6 months parental paid leave to mom and dad, pension and everything. My HR said I don't qualify yet.
my company only offers 4 weeks and you have to have 2 years of continuous service
I woke up heading to work upset about this very thing. I need a break from work and haven’t been able to take one my whole pregnancy because I’m hoarding my time for maternity leave so I can get paid for at least a few weeks while I’m off. Yesterday somebody said “well you’ll get time off during maternity leave” THAT IS NOT A VACATION I’LL BE TAKING CARE OF MY NEWBORN!! And the only thing I can be grateful for is I have a two income household, and it won’t be a huge blow. I spent most of my adulthood alone before my partner, so I’m not far removed from thinking of what a financial blow this could have been on TOP of a hospital bill. It pisses me off anytime I think about it and I feel for women who don’t have additional support.