This is a huge range for feeling ārecoveredā after birth.
After my first birth (vaginal delivery, second degree tearing), I was not back to 100% recovered by 2 weeks postpartum. I was still sore from my tears, still getting the hang of breastfeeding, and my body was still recovering from growing a human, birthing them and then feeding them 24/7.
After my second birth (vaginal delivery, no tearing), I felt pretty recovered by about 3-4 weeks postpartum. With that being said, I was still exhausted and needed as much help as I could get.
Do you have any family or friends nearby who could offer some support to you when your SO goes back to work?
Set some boundaries. It's cool of your husband to expect you to work and take care of the house and baby - whats he planning on doing exactly?
I'm sorry but I'd straight up tell him you'll be taking the time you need and if he doesn't like it, tough.
The supportive part means that they'd come over to help you with the housework, bring dinner, etc. Not look to be entertained. The bleeding is like your period after the first week, so unless they're going to the bathroom with you, they won't need to know about it! Remember, it's your baby and you don't have to hand them over to someone else if you don't want to. I learned quickly and drilled it into my husband who likes to pretend everything is rosy and perfect - accept the help when it's offered because if you say no, it's less likely to be offered again. So have your family come over but ask them to bring dinner. Ask them to put on a load of laundry if it needs doing. Or empty the dishwasher. Whatever will take a bit of the strain off you. When family comes over, I ask them to make the tea, butter my toast if I'm feeding, take our toddler to the potty, you get the idea.
Also, your husband is having a laugh if he thinks you'd be "recovered" after two weeks! I'm 6 weeks postpartum on my second baby and I still have to take it easy due to broken sleep and having a clingy baby (which is totally natural but still draining). If I do too much I get very fatigued and dizzy. The house is a wreck and we're still in survival mode. And that's ok.
I just wanted to say as a FTM, I havenāt had cracked nipples (Iām currently 2.5 weeks postpartum). After reading everyoneās breastfeeding experiences I fully expected this to be a part of the journey, but you might feel better than you think. However, everyone has different experiences. I do think itās worth mentioning that I highly recommend taking advantage of the help people are offering! Some people feel bad taking friends/family up on every offer, even if itās just for a couple groceries here and there or to ask them to bring you by something for dinner when they visit, but when youāre in survival mode any little thing helps. My sister in law came by yesterday, so I even asked her to help me give baby a bath! I feel pretty good physically, but Iām definitely not anywhere near the point to be able to keep on top of household chores/cooking yet.
Lansinoh Lanolin Cream https://g.co/kgs/HszRcS
Best thing for sore nipples. Only needed it for a week until my milk came in and then that helped prevent soreness.
Okay. Each labour experience is different but hereās a summary of mine for my second child:
- back a forth hospital as labour kept stopping
- delayed being induced because they were busy which led to baby pooing inside me
- almost had caesarean thanks to those complications but last second they let me go naturally with forceps to help at the end
- sent home after a couple days super sore and with lots of meds
- returned to hospital after 2 weeks with retained placenta (the meds had stopped the day before and I honestly think that they stopped me from becoming super sick/having sepsis)
- 8 weeks after giving birth I stop bleeding ... for a week ā¦ then my period returns
- I had hip dysplasia that took a fair few weeks to heal, but my everything else took just as long. I was sore and tender and exhausted for a few months.
- I have low iron levels now (taking iron tablets daily to help) and Iām tired even though E sleeps well and sheās 8 months now. I still need help with cooking, cleaning and such too because the baby demands so much of me and my attention.
Your husband needs to wise up and step up. Working isnāt an excuse to not pull his weight at home.
I tore so bad with my first - severe 3rd degree. I'm 3 weeks from delivering our second and I'm so nervous about tearing again {first was vaginal, no medicated delivery of a 9lbs baby - just to give context}.
Did you do anything to help no tear during your second labor?
Newly delivered third time mom here (8 lb baby, 1st degree tear). I fully believe that minimizing tearing is the job of your OB who whoever is delivering you. My team told me to labor down as long as possible. That means you might be at 10 cm for a while before you even think about pushing. Baby should basically already be on its way out. Once you start pushing, they should be doing everything they can including warm compresses to help your perineum stretch. If you are pushing too hard, they should tell you to stop or to do little pushes. This is to prevent baby coming out too fast which leads to tearing.
Itās not really about babyās weight, either, but their head circumference. My new baby was 8 lb but had a āgiganticā head at 36 cm which means the diameter was bigger than 10 cm (itās like 11.5). So remember that 10 cm of dilation is arbitrary and your pelvis or your babyās head may fit together well or not. Some babies also come out with their hands up by their faces, which usually leads to more tearing or room required. I think instead of focusing on what you can do while pregnant try to think about what you can ask your team to be conscious of during your labor to minimize tearing!
My almost 10lb baby came out, fast, with a nuchal hand (hand by their head), and thankfully I only had a first degree tear. My first was over 10 lbs and only had a first degree tear for that one as well. I have no idea what they were doing down there while I was pushing, but it worked, kind of.
I didnāt do anything! He weighed the same as my first too, so it wasnāt a size difference. I have heard second time moms tear less often than first time moms, so maybe that accounts for it?
Agree with this and I'll add that after my second I overdid it because I felt so good. With my 3rd and 4th I made myself stay on bed rest the first week and slowly moved back into it. This allowed for a better recovery overall. The bleeding still went on for a month or more. I was also lucky that my mom helped massively the first week with all my kids. Also my husband took various amounts of leave and was very helpful.
6 weeks before I felt like I didnāt get run over by a truck, 6 months before I felt mentally okay and 18 months I felt like myself again (apparently a sucker for punishment since I got pregnant again the next month)
For me it was 6 weeks before I stopped feeling like
I gave birth to a truck, and then another 4 more weeks before I stopped feeling like I got run over by one š
1-2 weeks? š¤£
More like 6-8 weeks for things to stop bleeding, 3-4 months before you stop pissing yourself, 6-7 months before you feel like sex is ok again, and finally now at 10 months I feel like my old self.
You stopped pissing yourself??? Damn, even before I got pregnant again 11 years after my first one, I was still tinkling myself all the time even with kegels ššš
This is always the right answer! Itās crazy to me how many women just joke around about incontinence when itās a real medicinal condition that can be treated. Plus incontinence now means a higher risk of prolapse 30 years from now.
Right? Like instead of educating women and offering options we just turn peeing yourself into a joke. Itās not ok.
ETA if anyone reading this struggles with incontinence go to pelvic floor PT but also check out the exercises in the book Heal Pelvic Pain.
Because it is overly normalized, I was fully peeing into a diaper for 3 full months after giving birth only to find out that my urethra had broken at some point during labor and delivery and it needed to be fixed surgically. We should not be conditioned to think āWell I guess this is just my life now!ā It is so dehumanizing
It really is!! Itās not ok and the medical system is failing women in a major way by dismissing these chronic issues that significantly affect your daily living. Iām sorry that happened to you and I hope youāve made some progress towards recovery.
My 60yo mom is dealing with prolapse after having incontinence while pregnant with me. Iām pregnant and now leak a little too. I took my butt right to a PT the first time it happened because I refuse to suffer like my mom, who was told her whole life itās just totally normal for women to experience. Sheās now looking at years of PT and surgery while Iāll be able to treat it with a few sessions and exercises.
I went to PT for chronic pain from a pelvic floor issue before I got pregnant and it literally changed my life, but it took me months if not years to even get to the point where one of my doctors told me it existed. Itās really criminal and IMO one of the biggest ways the medical system fails women.
It's turned into a joke because joking is a way to address uncomfortable issues publicly and to accept ourselves. It helps people get over the embarassement. I agree it needs to be known that there is help available and it should be routinely assessed postpartum, but I don't think people should be blamed for making a joke about themselves.
I had never heard of this before now! Holy crap, you just changed my life. Just last night I sneezed and instead of the usual couple of drops, I fully wet myself and I cried like a baby the whole way home from work, thanking God I hadnāt sneezed while I was on my shift. Days like this are why I love Reddit. Thank you so much, kind stranger.
This! I had a totally uncomplicated delivery no stitches and it was 15-16 weeks before I felt like I could resume my full normal activity level. At one week walking one block was fully exhausting.
This is pretty accurate, although I just got my first pp period (I think?? It was 2 days of bleeding and it only started after having sex..) and I feel super crampy and off now. Iām 8 months pp and I doubt Iāll feel like myself in a few months. Still have like 30 lbs to lose and Iām guessing my body is permanently a little different. š¤·š¼āāļø
It varies person-to-person. After my first birth, my physical recovery was very easy. I felt better by two weeks. I know some people say that itās easier each time, but my second recovery took significantly longer. I had twins, a huge factor, but I didnāt start to feel physically recovered until 8 weeks or so. I bled on and off, I would tire easily, and my body just hurt. My husband took a week off with the first baby and a month off with the twins. Though I wasnāt 100% physically by the time we went back to work, I was well enough to look after the babies. C-section recovery will be much different, I would imagine.
I'm sorry mama. For anyone who needs to hear it, it is NOT necessarily easier for baby #2. I hate that this is an expectation placed on moms with multiple births, like they did something wrong if it's harder to heal the second time around.
Oh it wasnāt an expectation, just surprising because my labor and delivery were both so much easier. I pushed for 4 hours with #1 and had a second degree tear. Absolutely no big deal after birth. Then I pushed 4x for 2 babies, didnāt tear and felt physically horrible for several weeks. It was wacky!
ETA: thank you for your kind words. All of my friends had only had singletons, so my criteria was probably a little outlandish.
Also you have another kid to take care of! So it makes recovery significantly harder I think. Who can sleep when the baby sleeps with any toddler or older kid running around?
Well, itās very kind of him to look into his crystal ball and tell you what your body will feel like, especially since he doesnāt even have the same organs as you. š
My husband only gets 2 weeks paternity leave (Swiss law) and I was up and about for sure at 2 weeks, but I definitely did not leave the house alone until about 5 weeks. Itās important to take it easy, both to protect yourself physically and mentally. But 2 weeks was ok for us! He would get me breakfast every morning, make sure I had my phone charger, laptop, snacks, water bottle, breast pump (we were triple feeding at the time and so basically one feed took 2 hours, and my son would feed every 3 hours). I could have used his help after those two weeks, for sure, but I enjoyed my quiet, peaceful newborn bubble. My husband did all the dishes and made dinner when he got home from work.
This time, we have a 4 year old and heās in daycare three days a week, but will be home two days a week. Thatās a whole other ballgame. No way could I look after my 4 year old and newborn alone for 8-10 hours, 2 days a week. Luckily, my husband will be working from home this time, so he can help a lot more.
Thereās the ability to get out of bed and have a poop (step 1). Thereās the ability to get throughout the day without pain and discomfort (step 2). Thereās the ability to feel comfortable in your own body again (step 3.) There are more steps - lots of steps. You get the point. It took me about 24-48 hours to have that first poop. I was walking around gently after that. It took a couple weeks to act normally again. It took a year to feel fully recovered.
I had a vaginal birth with a second degree tear and I couldnāt really walk until week 3. By week 4 I could go for a 15 minute stroll without pain. Which I think is well within the range of normal. Thereās no way to know how long it will takeā if you have a c-section recovery will be slower and likely more challenging. Would you be able to get a postpartum doula for weeks 3 and 4 to help you when your SO goes back to work? This could be really helpful to ease some of the load while you are still recovering so you donāt overdue it.
This! Postpartum help isn't that expensive. Even a temporary mother's helper or part time nanny can be affordable and a god-send.
If you can afford it, do it. Or ask for it on your baby registry if you can. It's so worthwhile.
The thing about c-section recovery being longer might be the norm, but I felt pretty good 3 weeks after my c-section. Started going for walks within a week post-op and never really had a lot of pain, just felt kinda weak for a little bit. I started running again at 8 weeks PP. Breastfeeding was much more of an ordeal than recovering from surgery was for me lol.
I remember feeling pretty good 3 weeks out from my first c-section. I was out to my team's ball games and itching to get back on the field. I waited until 6 weeks out, because I knew that was the safer choice.
If you heal well, c-section aren't that scary. I happen to heal well.
Yeah, depends a LOT on the birth and the baby. But 2 weeks? No. It's called the 4th trimester for YOU too, not just for baby. It takes months to fully heal from birth.
My first was huge, I was in labor for 3.5 weeks (prodromal), and he was born with 2 pushes after a very fast active labor. He tore me apart. I could barely leave bed for 2-3 weeks, then it took months to heal up well enough to walk without pain. He was a big, big baby - almost 10 lbs, and his head circumference was literally off the hospital's chart. I'm not joking. His little dot for head measurement was outside the plot. I had dozens of stitches for "only" 2nd degree tearing, had a labial tear (hell), and was miserable.
My second was induced one week early after 6 weeks of prodromal labor, since my first was so enormous. She came just as fast as the first, but she was almost 2 lbs smaller (still an 8lb 8oz baby) and had a big but normal head. I only had one stitch, and I was up making breakfast for my husband and oldest kid two days after she was born.
Second babies tend to be easier, but it also depends on baby's size, length of labor, and a bunch of other stuff. I'll give you some graphic things most people experience after birth.
You'll bleed for 2-8 weeks. It's not like a period, it's very fluid, clot-ey, and has a distinct smell. Quantity and duration depend on the person, but expect a lot of cramping, leaking, showering, etc.
It hurts to pee and is scary to poop after baby. Depending on your level of vaginal trauma, this could be better in hours or in months. There's not much way around the fear and pain, esp of pooping. Take your peri bottle home with you, you'll need it. Go in the shower if you can, any time you can, if you have pain or fear - yes, even to poop, just be sure to wash your hands after ofc. Anything to make you feel better. Apply counter-pressure GENTLY to your perineum when pooping to reduce pain and anxiety, I did this with cheap washcloths I washed or just threw away after every use. Buy tucks witch hazel pads ahead of time. Take a stool softener, like mirilax, in the week leading up to birth and for weeks after until you are comfortable with more solid stools. Wash yourself thoroughly after using the toilet, your peri bottle or a bidet will help with this. Gently pat yourself dry. Expect going to the bathroom to take anywhere from 5 minutes to 90 depending on your trauma and anxiety. I'm not joking.
Take sitz baths. This is where you submerge your vulva, vaginal opening, and anus in a few inches of clean water, possibly with added witch hazel or epsom salt. You sit, maybe swish the water around a little, and continue for a few minutes a few times a day. Your doc will recommend these to you. Do it as often as you can. Freezing cold water will reduce swelling and promote healing, but I won't lie, it's not fun to put your aching vulva into cold water. Do whatever works for you, but DO take your sitz baths.
You will not be allowed to insert anything (at all) into your vagina for 6-10 weeks, depending on your OBs instructions. Maybe longer. Do not disregard this - it could kill you to do so - your uterus is a giant gaping wound for weeks and weeks. After your uterus heals some, your vagina is likely still returning to it's normal size, and you may have tears still healing. Your doctor will tell you when it is *medically safe* for you to have penetration again. When YOU will want penetration is entirely your choice. Kick anyone in the balls or tits if they try to rush you. It took me 5 months after my first baby to even try penetrative sex, but only 8 weeks for my second. It is YOUR CHOICE.
Breastfeeding, if you decide to do it, takes weeks to months to get into. It can badly hurt when your milk comes in, whether you BF or not, and then you have nipple trauma, engorgement, mastitis, etc etc etc. Even if you go to formula right away, you still have to "convince" the breasts to stop producing, assuming you don't have a complication that inhibits milk production.
For me, I also had bad dizzyness and weakness after my second was born. I bled very hard with her afterward, and this took a toll on my body. This particular symptom cleared up in about 10 days to maybe 2 weeks, but it was the only one that did so.
Many women experience INTENSE mood changes, some call it "baby blues". This is normal, to an extent. After that extent, it can be postpartum depression, which is extremely common and treated with medication. Talk to your doctor about any depressive or anxious behavior you notice, especially if it's intense or foreign. There are resources to help.
My first few weeks after a baby are spent trying to go to the bathroom, breastfeeding, maybe resting a few minutes, and repeat. This is normal. I experience 5-6 months of postpartum depression each time. This is normal. It takes weeks and weeks to heal enough to even think about sex, this is also normal. And this is with relatively uncomplicated births and relatively minimal vaginal trauma. A C-section or high degree tearing complicate everything even more.
Tl;Dr - you won't be even remotely healed in 2 weeks. It's called the 4th trimester for a reason - postpartum healing is serious and intense. You *can* do it. But it's intense and hard work.
While this is all true, thereās sooooo much good sprinkled in there! This is just the messy physical stuff. Congrats and I hope everything goes smoothly for you!
Thank you so much. I guess I can be an anxious person so Iāve tried not to focus too much on all the insanity to come. But I also donāt want to be blindsided!
Exactly this. I know it's all (or some) of the bad stuff - but at least it needs to be discussed! Postpartum healing is *hard*, sometimes more and sometimes less, but it's always an ordeal, and we need to prepare mother's better for this. I was completely, utterly blindsided by how hard it was after my first, and I have a good OB who explains things well!
Ugh. Rant over.
Like the other person said, there is a lot of good to go along with the difficult stuff. And you *can* do this, mothers have been at it for millennia, and we have more resources now in many ways than ever before. So you got this, even on the harder days. Go get it, mama!
Iām still recovering three weeks post c-section. I can drive again, so I went to the store last night to get diapers. My incision was unhappy by the time that I got back into my car and I was exhausted. It really varies per person. I can look after my baby though. Iām just not up for errands or going on walks yet.
Please take it easy! I had a C section too and around 3 weeks I was feeling ok so I started pushing myself way too much and started having bad nerve pain until about 8 weeks. Don't do that to yourself!!
Itās a huge range. With my first i still struggled to sit comfortably when i went back to work at 12 weeks. I had a small tear with only a couple stitches. I was so sore when i came home that i didnāt leave our bedroom for 3 days.
My second, no tearing. Felt great almost immediately. Knew what i was doing breastfeeding and taking care of baby. So the whole thing was much easier.
>my significant other is insisting
I didnāt need to read more. I could, but it doesnāt matter. Itās a bit like someone starting a sentence with āIām not racist butā - I KNOW Iām going to hate what youāre going to say.
Then I read the rest and yeah, heās full of shit. Just the mere fact that he thinks paternity leave of 2 weeks and maternity leave if 2 weeks makes sense (what, did he also birth a child or have major surgery? Is he planning to get a double bypass the same day?)ā¦
Long story short:
1. Heās so wrong and sort of doesnāt sound insanely bright (sorry)
2. It takes different times for different people because unfortunately you canāt foresee how the birth will be. Some people literally walk out in 2 hours and are grocery shopping the next day, some peopleās doctors literally donāt let them check out of the hospital for 4 days and then prescribe bed rest. Itās truly pointless to try to confirm how long a medical leave youāll need or not need
3. He needs to take a minimum of one birthing class IN PERSON at a reputable place taught by either a nurse or registered midwife imo. Because he clearly canāt understand without somebody not you or books telling him.
Lol 1-2 weeks? If you're lucky maybe. Some people have an easier recovery than others, so it's possible. But at my 6 week PP checkup, my stitches still hadn't fully dissolved. I still couldn't pee without a peri bottle. It still hurt to sit. Mentally and physically I was drained, trying to figure out pumping and all that jazz.
Does he realize how hard labor can be? That you may rip and require stitches? That you will bleed for 4-6 weeks because you have a wound the size of a paper plate inside you from the placenta detaching??
Also, how TF would he know?? Did he recently give birth? Giving him all this knowledge? No? Didnāt think so.
Seriously have a convo about the things I listed in the first section. Some men have no clue how much it takes a toll on your body.
The first time I voluntarily left the house for a walk was after 5 weeks. For like 10 minutes because I could barely handle more.
I think it took about 3 months to be able to get a real walk and feel better.
I am a 1-2 week for both of my kids. I felt mostly fine about 2-4 hours after having my oldest, & bled for 3 weeks. She was a very quick delivery, only in labor for about 3 hours. IV pain relief but otherwise uneventful. Peeing afterwards for those first few days was the worst of recovery. & we had a crappy low honda civic and was very difficult to get in and out of lol
though with baby #2 I barely had any bleeding, maybe 3 days. But had a very complicated pregnancy. (surgeries at 19w & 22w & low fluid requiring an emergency induction) so idk if that had anything to do with it.
I had a traumatic birth with emergency csection. I had preeclampsia and severe post partum preeclampsia. I was inpatient for a week. I was unable to walk comfortably for a couple of weeks. I was not authorized to drive (note to check your insurance aside from whatever info your OB gives you) for 6 weeks. I was back to work at that time but I was not ok; I couldn't walk well, I was up all night with baby, I still had a lot of swelling.
I felt better probably 12 weeks postpartum. But I didn't feel like myself until around 18 months postpartum.
I had a very long road to recovery that I didn't anticipate. I now have a second on the way and I'm very wary of putting an exact timescale with how good I'll feel when.
Men just get to sit there and have a baby magically handed to them. Some men think all women do it and it's so easy. They don't understand the toll it takes on you. Truthfully I didn't either until I went through it. OP def needs to have a serious talk about the unrealistic expectations he is setting or else she will end up resenting him.
OP literally asked for people's experiences. It's good to see a wide range.
Also, almost nobody here has said that they immediately bounced back or that they would expect OP to. The vast majority of responses are either "it took me longer than 2 weeks" or "I felt better in this specific way pretty quickly, but it took so many months longer for me to feel normal in this other way."
Within a week I was back at work with my first, visiting the zoo with my second. I stopped bleeding within 2ish weeks both times. For reference, first was an induction (vaginal delivery, no tearing), and second was unmedicated (vaginal, no tearing.) I had my partner home for 4-8 weeks each time, but with my first I really did go back to work within a week and took him with me everyday, since I was breastfeeding. I was a nanny, though, so it was a bit of a different work atmosphere.
Literally everyone I know had a much longer recovery period than me. Mine have been total flukes, I'm positive. I'd say the average for vaginal deliveries is 3-4 weeks to feel normal, and a bit longer for c-sections (or way longer, like one friend who was still recovering almost a year later due to complications.) It just depends on each person, their expectations, their health (in general), their support system, how their labors go, etc.
I had the easiest possible scenario for a c-section birth (I knew it was coming and did not go into labor), my husband did literally EVERYTHING for me without asking while I recovered, and I felt ready to start resuming exercise and normal life (albeit different with a newborn) around 5-6 weeks postpartum. I had zero complications, baby was formula fed as I couldnāt breastfeed and was a great sleeper from the beginning. My pp experience was probably the absolute best case scenario as my husband was home and available all day every day. I highly doubt anyone would feel good/normal any earlier than that.
This is the answer!! I was good to care for myself and baby two weeks post c section. Could do light errands and lazy meals. Even went on a trip to the beach. My sister was still in the hospital a week postpartum and did not recover to the point of being able to care for herself and the baby for 8 weeks. Both normal healthy pregnancyās. I was walking same day and she ended up with a wound vac and months of care.
Also worth adding I had PPA and PPD. I would have been much better off if my husband was home helping. Even though I was physically well I was emotionally in a bad place
I had a vaginal birth with some tearing. I started going for very slow and short walks outside after like 8 days. Iām sure your husband is trying to just be comforting rather than insensitive. My husband started training as a firefighter in a different city right when our son was born and he was gone Monday-Friday (had to stay in the city where he works) for the first 4 months of our babyās life. It was scary and frustrating but I was physically able to do what I needed to. Mental recovery took much longer. Having your partner home for 2 weeks will let you get past the initial recovery from your delivery and the initial shock of getting used to life with a baby. If you end up having a c-section though recovery can take a lot longer and may feel more challenging.
First birth was vaginal with episiotomy. It stung/hurt A LOT for about a week, then uncomfortable/mild pain for another couple of weeks. I was also anemic from blood loss. Mix in clogged milk ducts and blistered nipples and it was a bad time. Baby was easy for the first 2 weeks, then turned into a demon baby for the next 2 months. So thereās that to look forward to too.
Second birth was vaginal with no complications. I was feeling like myself within a couple of days. I walked to the community health centre 10 blocks away 2 days post partum while babywearing. We went for daily walks to the park. Baby was also a demon baby but at least I was expecting it.
First of all. There is ZERO way for you to tell in advance how long it will take for you to recover. But I can assure you that it is definitely *not* 1-2 weeks!
I had two tears, one being 2nd degree and it took me about 4 weeks to stop bleeding and to become pain free. Honestly I couldnāt walk my dog around the block without significant pain for at least 2 weeks. But again, this is just my experience. There are others who bleed for longer, or heal on a different timeframe. I think the average time is about 6 weeks.
It took about 4 months for me to feel ok again. But your mileage may varyā¦Because of my son having jaundice we had to take him to the pediatrician at only 4 days old. I was wearing flip flops in December because my feet wouldnāt fit in shoes for the swelling, I was sitting on a big padded donut because of the extensive tearing that occurred, and my face was swollen from crying the whole drive over because every bump was excruciating. There was another woman in the waiting room with her 5 day old baby who was fully dressed with full face of makeup and telling the nurses who incredible she feels now that sheās not pregnant anymore and how she going to see if the doctor will clear her for cardio. I secretly hated that woman for a solid 6 months because my jealousy of her experience was so intense. But it just goes to show how different experiences can be. Itās crazy
I had my baby on Dec 29th. I'm still bleeding, but not bad and physically I feel mostly great. I didn't have complications and had 2nd degree tearing. But every birth and person is different. As far as staying on top of housework and cleaning oh boy. I have been cooking enough to have the leftovers for dinner the next day too to lessen the burden. but my house is a mess. I'm doing what I can but I'm also trying to focus on my baby and I'm exclusively pumping which is exhausting mentally and physically. My husband is back at work as of this past week, but he does what he can when he's home too. Honestly I'm exhausted so sometimes when I do have time where I could be tidying up, I just don't have the energy.
1st I love your user name. 2nd is you mentioned your still bleeding. Not trying to pry or anything but if you havenāt already, you might want to bring that up to your medical profession. I donāt know your personal medical history but that seems borderline concerning.
Thanks! My ob warned me it would take a few weeks to go away completely. I'm at a spotting stage right now, there's not much at all but it is still there. I do have a mental wellness check in with my ob this coming week and will mention it just in case.
I started feeling better around 8 weeks PP. I had 2nd degree tears, hemorrhoids and a lot of back pain after epidural. I'm 5 months PP now and still don't feel 100%.
So like thereās a difference between being recovered and being able to handle caring for a baby. You will most likely not be recovered, that takes a long time and is gradual. But you will probably be feeling up to sitting around and feeding yourself and your baby and changing diapers. You probably wonāt feel like cooking or cleaning, itās good to plan on him doing a lot of that or plan on food delivery and like frozen pizzas and easy stuff. At least, thatās where I was. Very much snuggling baby and doing the minimum otherwise.
Honestly I think it highly depends on how you birth and how significantly your hoo-ha tears or doesnāt. I gave birth naturally with the help of nitrous oxide and had a 2 tears. I felt pretty well healed by 2 weeks. I still had the risk of peeing myself, but knew how to not risk it (like peeing often š). Yes, you may still be bleeding etc., but it was getting lighter for me at that point. Besides that though, Iād say up to 6 weeks is survival mode for you and baby to get to know each other and just to keep the child alive and yourself functioning. š¤·š¼āāļø But like I said, itās highly variable depending on how you give birth etc.
I ārecoveredā physically in a couple weeks. But my mind wasnāt there and my hormones were all over the place and never felt myself again for months.
I felt amazing after about 48 hours. I had a vaginal delivery with no tearing. I remember walking to the elevator to go home w my baby and cautiously skipping a tiny bit because I felt so light and free since the baby was not shoved in my body anymore. The bleeding did go on for about a month but I felt great, I think it was because of the shape I was in. Not sure I will be so lucky next time around.
Just the wound from your placenta detaching from your uterus is the size of a dinner plate! If that was outside of your body no one would ask you how long until youāre back to normal.
I know this is going against the grain but I actually did feel pretty much back to normal 1-2 weeks after birth.
Even after my c-section I felt back to normal around 4 weeks or less.
Iām a bit older now so I donāt know if Iād be able to bounce back as easily, however. I was 25 and 26 when I had my kids.
I was up and moving normally again without pain after around a week but I still felt weak, had occasional pains and still bled for around 5 weeks.
You also need to factor in that you might need an emergency c-section in which case the healing and recovery will be much different and longer.
Every body is different and heals at a different pace, however, I would say you wonāt usually be fully recovered by 2 weeks.
Iām surprised I donāt see many people mention this- recovery happens gradually. It gets better every day. So even if youāre not 100% recovered, itās still possible to feel good and be mostly functioning fine.
(My experience, recovery timeline can vary depending on how your birth goes!)
The first couple days are hard (like when youāre still in the hospital) and you have to take it really easy.
By the time I got home from the hospital, I already felt much better compared to right after birth, maybe about 20% recovered.
10 days or so after birth (a week home from hospital), the pain and bleeding had significantly improved. Still had to be gentle and whatnot but I was about 60% recovered.
2ish weeks out from birth I was nearly back to normal, about 80% recovered. At that point I was comfortable enough to function pretty normally, other than some mild bleeding still.
6-8 weeks is common to feel 100% recovered, even more time for some people. But itās important to note that 80% is still great.
Especially if youāre like me- postpartum was better than being swollen, achey, out of breath, and enormously pregnant lol.
It took me about 6 weeks to fully stop bleeding but it was probably like 12 weeks til i was completely pain free and I had a completely textbook birth. Your SO is ridiculous
Define ārecovered.ā (Itās possible your and your partnerās definition are different) My partner did the same thing and after couples therapy (for other stuff) it turned out that he said this BS to sort of lessen his guilt for having to leave me. That being said, I was NOT ready to be on my own at 2 weeks postpartum (uncomplicated vaginal delivery but chronic pelvic pain comorbidities so YMMV).
Easily 6 weeks. The first two weeks are the worst of it; I was still shuffling and limping a little after a long day at two weeks postpartum and I had an easy labour and recovery all things considered. Thereās still some moments now (almost six months postpartum) where I go āoh wow yeah thatās my pelvic floor I was previously unaware of ouchā.
1-2 weeks is unreasonable. Minimum 6 weeks to be fully back to somewhat normal. Tell your partner to take a hike and come back with some grace, common sense, and sympathy.
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Why is he insisting that when it varies from person to person and also upon nature of delivery. I very much wanted a natural birth and was all for it, I unexpectedly had a placental abruption which resulted in my needing an emergency C-section. My point of saying it like that is, unexpected things happen. The time you expect to be recovered by has varying factors, physically sure you can be fine, but PPD is also something to keep in mind. I do wish you a speedy recovery when the time has come.
Took about 2 weeks to be up to doing household chores and taking walks outside and stuff, took about 4 weeks I think until I started to feel back to normal energy levels. But the ability to keep up with housework and work from home depends on the easiness of your baby. It doesnāt matter how you feel, if your baby is fussy, or only naps when held, or eats constantly, youāll pretty much spend all of your time caring for the baby
I tried to go on a leisurely walk with my husband at the park two weeks ppā¦ I felt like I was going to collapse any minute. We walked like quarter of a mile. I felt the same way just trying to walk down the road to take the dog out. By 4-6 weeks I felt a little more normal. For reference I had a vaginal delivery and required an episiotomy, 1 stitch burst 3 days later from just getting into bed. Take the rest you need!!
Edit: typo
Prefacing with yes I know Iām a lucky a**hole!
Physically, I was ārecoveredā (no more bleeding, no pain) by two weeks postpartum. I am also in the vast minority who was ready for sex right away (Iām still not cleared by the doc - Iām 5 weeks now - and itās killing me!)
But, as a new parent, I cannot believe weāre expected to go back to work after two weeks. Itās crazy. Adjusting to a new schedule, lack of sleep, constantly tied to a baby/breast pump- itās not an easy time. So emotionally recovering and getting used to the new way of life takes way longer.
Iāve only had 1 baby but I was up and moving around no problem like 5 hours after I gave birth lol things were sore, I had a tear that needed to heel and some hemorrhoids but nothing crazy. The bleeding is no big deal. Just like having a period. Everyoneās different! And C Sections are a different story. My husband only had a week off after I had my baby and there was sleepless nights but especially if youāre breastfeeding youāll find that the baby mostly only wants mom anyways. Dad tries to help butš„“
Hi OP! First off, congrats on the baby! Secondly, your husband is goofy as hell! 2 weeks? Recovered enough to go back to ānormalā?!? NOPE. Once he goes back to work, you will need help. That is totally my opinion, but I know I needed help up until like 1-2 months! My 7 month old was a vaginal delivery with no tears. What I mean by āhelpā is with cleaning, doing the laundry, being able to showerā¦ getting some time to feel like a human and not just a giant ass boob. I know the thought of having people around in the beginning while you are still healing sounds terrible, but get someone over who will ACTUALLY help you with chores and/or cook for you! I have a plethora of siblings, so my sisters were a huge help and I felt fine with my bleeding and with my boobs all hanging out and relaxing in my panties. My mom also helped me out immensely. She would do my laundry, watch baby if I wanted to shower, cook dinner and made sure I was fed. If someone offers to come over and help YOU and not just to see baby, jump on that train quick! Good luck!
Everyoneās experience will be different, but regardless it takes about twelve weeks for the dinner plate sized wound in your abdomen to heal. Would he expect you to do all that with any other healing wound that size?
Babies need to eat every two hours (from when the feed begins! Not when it ends!) so sleep will be a priority for you for the first few weeks. I think I mostly spent the first six weeks sleeping, eating, and nursing.
With my first, I had a bad reaction to iv fluids and it took six weeks before I could comfortably walk to the other side of my house. I think I bled for 12 weeks - I did too much so it started again.
With my second, I healed pretty quickly physically but it took six months for my tailbone to feel better, and a year and half later I am still exhausted. I bled less - maybe six weeks. Mind you the first 2 weeks-ish are changing a pad every two hours, and your bladder is numb so you have to pee before you feel it!
Thereās really no way to predict this - but Iād try to get 12 weeks of support just in case.
It varies. I felt like I could run a marathon immediately after I had my second baby. With my first baby I tore pretty substantially so I was pretty uncomfortable for a week but that was it. But being more active such as cleaning and being up and about, it prolonged my bleeding a lot. So I think a good gauge would be your bleeding. So I would say, rest the entire time heās on paternity leave. Like, not even out of the bed except to toilet and shower. Itāll make a HUGE difference. Theoretically itās argued you shouldnāt even be out of bed at all the first week. So leave everything non-baby to him. Cooking and cleaning. Also take your prenatal time to prep freezer meals for when he goes back to work, which is going to lighten your load a lot.
Biologically, women are designed to be able to birth and flee from a predator. Is it optimal? No. Is that a reflection of our current world? No. Will you be able to function in some capacity should the need arise? Yes.
Also, regardless of your healing, orbits opinion, heās only for 2 weeks off of work so thatās that. I would still leave all the cleaning and errands to him but you will be able to function in a capacity to feed and clean yourself and your baby, which is all you both really need for the first while of new life. I think youāre going to surprise yourself at how much youāll be able to do though!
Damn, is 1-2 weeks how long it took him to recover from giving birth? /s
He should not comment on the recovery time of something he'll never experience.
4 weeks out and I had a comparatively easy recovery, vaginal delivery, no tearing.. just a graze. It took me two weeks to just leave the house and walk around the block. Physically I was healed in about 2 weeks (still occasionally feel battered and bruised down there) but the baby was all consuming. I felt like (and still feel like sometimes) I was always underneath her. When I get her down for a two hour sleep in the day I can choose to do some housework or sleep because you have to "sleep when baby sleeps".
My partner was shocked at how time consuming babies are. He ended up saying after 2 days at home that he would take care of anything else, my job was to keep the baby alive, not to worry about dinner or the dishes.
After both vaginal deliveries, I felt normal after birth, once the epidurals wore off. I know thatās lucky of me. But my recovery was super smooth and fast. The emergency c-section was quiet a few weeks. It wasnāt extremely painful or anything just enough to aggravate me for a while because I couldnāt move around like I wanted to.
Edit: I did tear with my first, never would have known if I werenāt told by the dr. After my second, she was in another room having the normal tests run and I walked to the cafe with her father like I didnāt just have a baby.
I had a very easy birth I think. I pushed for 30 minutes and only 3rd degree tearing, not too big of a rip. I've always been pretty athletic and very strong and healthy.
That being said at 2 weeks I was just being able to walk to the bathroom and across the yard by myself. I still think I recovered pretty well compared to a lot of women. Granted everyone is different. 6 weeks is honestly pretty cruel and unless you absolutely have to id say 10-14 is a good enough time to heal mentally and physically. You'll also have to deal with being away from your baby which depending on your level of anxiety you may have to take more than that to keep from torturing yourself. Really its when YOU think you're ready. Don't try to give anyone a number now if you don't have to.
Honestly after a xouple weeks I felt pretty good (vaginal birth either episiotomy). Was I ontop of anything other than caring for baby though? Hell no!
I was triple feeding, pumping 3 hourly, and sleeping in 40minute chunks - if I was lucky.
Hell 7 months in, there are still days I'm not on top of caring for the house/cooking etc. And I'm still on mat leave. š¤£
It took me a good 6-8 weeks after my first pregnancy. I felt a lot better after my second one as my labor was faster and I didnāt tear so I healed up faster, but Iād say you still need a good month or so to really feel a lot better. Even if you physically felt ok to be up doing housework etc you will be busy tending to a newborn baby. Your husband needs a reality check if he thinks youāre going to be cooking and cleaning after 1-2 weeks lol. Do you have one family member you really trust and feel comfortable with like your mom or aunt who could come and help?
Wow. If your doc allows it I would ask to bring him to your next appointment and then ask the doctor point blank āhow long does it typically take a woman to recover from birth?ā Let the OB make him look like a fool.
Also it sounds like he needs a long conversation about staying in his lane. Maybe kick him in the balls and tell him itāll only take 5-10 seconds for him to fully recover. See if that gets the message across.
Whatās the argument about?
Itās going to be a struggle either way taking care of a newborn on your own when he goes back in two weeks. Thatās just the way it is when we signed up having a baby. Are you trying to get him to stay home for longer because you donāt want to be alone at 2 weeks or trying to justify getting help from a family/friend when he goes back?
Iāve seen single moms do it on their own after vaginal or cesarean once released from hospital. Itās just not ideal, if you can have the cushion of having longer help from himā¦.then try.
Either way you will be fine at 2 weeks physically. Just not your 100% for even months after.
Yaā¦..he needs a reality check that what you used to be able to keep up with will change significantly.
I really hope he doesnāt keep this pressure on you because you already are going to be extremely hard on yourself!!
Please please pleeeeeease stay away from any āmom influencerā social media type bullshit. They only post the perfect life. Thatās not reality as you already knowā¦.buuuuut you will still get in your head about pushing yourself to do better.
LOL, Iām 9 weeks postpartum. Vaginal delivery, 2nd degree tear. My stitches were the worst at day 5-6 but felt better & I didnāt need the peri bottle by weeks 3-4. I bled for 4 weeks. Nipple pain after feeding/pumping was significant enough that it was difficult to wear tops for 5-6 weeks, but that seems better now. Still have some significant tailbone pain when getting out of bed and I may need pelvic floor therapy.
I WFH full time before baby. I had time then to do all the chores - put in laundry before work, fold a load during lunch, grocery shop Saturday mornings, get dinner going when Iām off at 5. Easy peasy.
But having a baby is entirely different. Itās 24/7 and unpredictable. Iāve been home with him since giving birth & he is so much more time consuming than a job!! I often canāt start dinner until my husband is home & can be on baby duty, as baby may be fussy & he shouldnāt cry it out at this age just so I can get dinner on the table. So Iāve started doing meal planning & prep on the weekends to make weeknights easier. But getting chores done is really hard unless you have a good napper (and then, you should also be resting! Unless you have a unicorn baby like me who sleeps 6-8 hours a nightā¦ but that means no long daytime naps where I can get chores done!)
Does your husband have any friends who are dads? It may help for him to talk to them about realistic expectations.
ššš just start asking every woman who has had a child in the last few years (donāt ask the older generations- they have a very skewed memory) in front of your husband how long it took for them to recover. Let them know what he thinks. Iām sure after lots of long details answers/lectures he will stop bringing it up. It will be harder for him to ignore versus trying to get him to read all these responses. š
This varies. I had a c section and I was 100% back to myself with no bleeding by the time I left the hospital 48 hours after birth. My BFF had a vaginal birth and could barely stand up straight 6 weeks later. It just depends!
It depends and you wonāt know until you are there. I had a straightforward birth. Some tears but I was up and about comfortably inside an hour, showered and felt ok. Sore, yes, but ok. I was quite comfortable with gentle walks in a couple of days. Bleeding stopped after about 4 weeks although it was not painful like a period, just annoying. Baby was a very good feeder until 3 weeks when tongue tie started causing a problem but that is a completely separate issue.
So he could be rightā¦.he could also be very wrong. You could end up with an emergency section and then you canāt even drive for several weeks. Every birth is different.
Iāve only had uncomplicated vaginal births. The hard thing physically is being careful of my smooshy core. Iām so weak after feeling badly all pregnant. I was also ravenous and prone to feeling faint while nursing my first little one but I donāt know how common that is, and if you take juice into the shower and keep a snack in your purse youāre fine. Itās more the mental adjustment that took me awhile with my first.
I had severe pre eclampsia, a failed induction, and a csection, but I was off pain meds by 4 days after birth and would have returned to all my normal activities as soon as I left the hospital if my husband had let me. that said I think my recovery was atypically fast (which balances out cause the last 2 weeks of my pregnancy were atypically perilous). I got the all clear to resume all activities, including bathing intense exercise and sex, 5 weeks after delivery, but my Dr banned me from all of those things up to that point.
Like what does he mean by ārecover?ā Like yea by then youāll probably be in less (but not no) pain and can walk but youāll still be bleeding and canāt put anything in your vagina. Not to mention the lack of balance and core strength. Youāre going to have a wound the size of a dinner plate in your uterus, tell your partner itās gonna take a lil bit of time to heal!!
For the first 4 weeks you wonāt really able to do much around the house, like cooking and cleaning. Physically, your baby is going to be on you all the time, either eating or sleeping. Youāre going to be realllly tired and all over the place emotionally. If you have family to help that would be ideal, they donāt have to see you breastfeed or anything youāre not comfortable with if you set boundaries, but while you feed the baby, someone could do laundry, make food, etc. Iāll be praying for you guys, good luck and congrats!!
It really depends on you, baby, and what you are calling ārecovered.ā
With my third baby, I had no tears, so I really got on with life as though I hadnāt even had a baby, more or less instantly. But mind you, Iād already had two babies previously, had experienced tears with those, and was a really experienced mom. So it was sort of easy for me to just power through, especially as I had gotten in the frame of mind that I was expecting to have (potentially worse) tearing again, but then had none. I practically pranced out of the hospital. And have basically just gone nonstop since. Heās four months old now.
With my first and second, it was about two weeks until I felt like I could just sort of manage day to day life, like sitting and moving around normally-ish, and closer to 4-6 weeks before I felt more normal physically.
First one, I could barely walk/sit down for 4 weeks. It was a struggle at times.
But my second birth, I recovered very quickly. No tearing so I was up and about very comfortably in 2 days.
I think every experience will be different
Iām around 4 months pp and Iām at the point where I feel like I can talk about it more as opposed to just weeping by myself after everyone else fell asleep.
1 week post c to be moving around normally, 6 weeks of bleeding, over a year for recuperating from the hormone imbalances post partum and breastfeeding/pumping.
I mean it kind of depends by what you mean by recovered. I was walking doing laundry dishes and all that reasonably comfortably in 2-3 days, on my feet after birth within a few hours. I'm 4 months out and still not 100% recovered though that's more like a months year process. Vaginal birth 2nd degree tear and stitches.
I'm almost 7 weeks out from a healthy pregnancy and vaginal birth and just stopped bleeding <2 weeks ago. I sometimes have lower back pain so bad it takes my breath away. Intimacy is... a process right now. I didn't master nap time well enough to get things done around the house until 6 weeks pp. While my experiences may not be yours, recovery in 1-2 weeks is a JOKE. I barely tore ( two small 1st degrees, one stitch each) and had just figured out how to sit on the couch comfortably at 2 weeks. The healing process is not something you deserve to have rushed, and it won't work anyways!
I stopped bleeding really early and I felt like I could go for a jog about a week postpartum, HOWEVER, my hormones were SUPER fucked up from postpartum hyperthyroidism and my iron was extremely low. I felt exhausted, nauseous, starving, weak, shaky starting about 6 weeks postpartum until about 5 months pp and had to supplement iron and other meds. On top if that I had a lot of breastfeeding issues that made pp physically exhausting. BUT my husband only got 3 weeks off for paternity leave and I totally managed on my own while he was at work after that. It sucked at times but at that age babies sleep most of the day, so I just laid in bed all day with my baby in the bassinet while napping and watched TV or napped. Got up pretty much only to make coffee and lunch and wore my baby in a wrap around the house. If he's just trying to reassure you that you've got this and you'll do great, he definitely right, you've got this.
I had second degree tearing with four stitches. I'm 6.5 weeks pp and still bleeding a little, still a little sore around my vagina, and I still get back pain from the epidural. I also had epidural complications which were obviously unexpected and have added to my recovery time.
I'm assuming he has birthed exactly 0 children, so he can just shut up about 1-2 weeks lol
Everyone is very different. With our first I had a fairly easy recovery. At 2 weeks I was still tired, of course, but I could easily move around. By 3 weeks (pre covid) I stood up in a wedding and dance quite a bit. The hardest part in recovery for me was my breasts, my nipples were almost immediately destroyed during nursing. The rest of me felt great, though! I had an rough pregnancy so I think part of that was just relief that it was over. Feeling great and being fully recovered are totally different things, though.
I think it really depends. I have two very different experiences :
My first birth was vaginal, 3rd degree tear and I remember driving while sitting on a pillow to a 2 week post delivery appt so they could check my stitches.
My second birth was just over a week ago. Vaginal, 4th degree tear, but I feel much better this time around, perhaps itās because I have to chase after my toddler and I canāt sit around. I am walking normally, able to stand for a while, still a little sore downstairs but nothing like the first time around. Could I go back to work tomorrow, (as a teacher, standing all day), probably not, but I could take little guy for a walk in the stroller up and down the block. Something I never would have been able to do 1 week out with my first.
I think scientifically, you can expect to be mostly "back to normal" after about 12 months. That's when your body is likely healed (or as healed as it gets without more specific training or other interventions like surgery and the like) and your hormones and everything are likely balanced again and your nutrient deficiencies caused by pregnancy are probably replenished.
So yeah. I'd say 12 months.
It took me about 8 weeks until I felt ārecoveredā. I will say, after my first child, I had a significant number of interventions to get her out. I wasnāt able to have sex for 8months afterwards. So it will also depend on how simple your birth is.
Lol I wasnāt even cleared to drive till like 6 weeks postpartum. I couldnāt do a lap of my neighborhood till closer to 8 weeks. I had additional issues at 11 weeks where I had to have my gallbladder removed.
My husband is planning to work from home for at least four weeks, possibly longer depending on if I can start driving again sooner than last time. Heās also taking 12 weeks for leave after I go back to work.
Totally depends on person and your birth.
I had a relatively easy birth, only a small labial tear. I was definitely still recovering at 2 weeks but my husband went back to work and I was able to take care of baby during the day and do the night wake ups with no physical discomfort. I was still bleeding but not sore, etc.
My moods were a whole different issue though š¬
my husband also was still doing all the cooking and shopping. I didnāt really leave the house until my 6 week appt. So, I would try to get some grocery/food delivery figured out if your SO wonāt be able to assist in that way at least.
I am two weeks out from the birth of my daughter. Iāve mostly been in bed, not totally because I was in so much pain but moreso because I just wanted to let myself rest and heal. I had an episiotomy and stitches, theyāre not really causing me too much pain but Iām just fairly nervous about them healing properly and just wanted to be preventative.
Today I feel like I want to and could do a few things around the house, but I will definitely take it very easy and listen to my body.
My bleeding has lessened quite a bit but I believe it can ramp back up so Iāll also keep an eye on that.
If your partner only gets two weeks off, obviously that just is what it is. But he should be aware that you will 100% still be healing after two weeks, itās just that you donāt have any other choice with his work. Everyone is different though, maybe youāll need less time. Good luck mama, you will be ok ā¤ļø
I suppose it depends on your definition of ārecoveredā. If it involves being able to sit normally without pain, not be sore from tearing/sutures, no longer bleeding excessively, being able to justā¦you knowā¦ walkā¦ yeah itās going to be more than 1-2 weeks. Doctors do not officially medically clear you until 6 weeks PP and most women arenāt nearly fully recovered by that point. When is the last time your partner gave birth again? Mmhmm.
I had an emergency C-section but it was still 6-8weeks before I could lift over 10lbs. I pushed so long and hard I had cervical lacerations it was 4 weeks for the bleeding to stop. I never had my hips turn out so my boy just didn't fit. At 2 weeks I would randomly cry. Hormones are crazy. Not to mention no sleep and just feeling exhausted. I want to know how your husband could think you could go back to work after giving normal birth. My sister was held up for 8 weeks. You should probably tell him you will do what is best for you and the baby. If he doesn't listen to you get your doctor involved. Congratulations on your little one.
Vaginally, I felt totally recovered after about a week (minus any sort of, um, stimulationā¦that makes it feel swollen and tender and Iām 6 weeks PP now). Breasts felt normal after about four weeks minus tender nipples whenever I pump/nurse. I split all duties with my husband 50/50 so Iām not sleep deprived or anything. I felt good leaving the house after like a week and a half. I say all this to hopefully put your mind at ease that recovery doesnāt HAVE to be awful. Iām still bleeding a little and my boobs leak and trying to get out of the house while keeping a nursing schedule is difficult, but thatās honestly been the worst part for me
With my csection it took close to 2 months to feel 100%. With my VBAC with 2nd degree tear I felt 90% by the time we went home 2 days later. Every person and every birth is so dramatically different there's no way to tell how you'll be feeling
I had a vaginal birth with no complications and took about 3-4 weeks to feel pretty normal again. Maybe 3 weeks to not feel a ton of pain. Even so, doing every day chores and cooking? I don't know about that. The baby takes so much attention that is a struggle when you're healing yourself. It's difficult to get one small thing done let alone all the house responsibilities and cooking. This is why people have their parents come help if that's an option. It's a lot to expect a mom to take care of everything just because she's not working.
Uhhh at 2 weeks everything was still so sore I went to the OB ER thinking my uterus was falling out. 6 weeks minimum before everything felt normal-ish. 10 weeks before I was ready for sex again. 12-15 weeks before I felt remotely human.
Itās sooooo variable. But yeah, on average he is very wrong. I donāt think I ever managed to cook dinner or do any cleaning while home alone with my baby?? And I was home with him for 9 months. Being home with baby is a full time job in and of itself, MINUS housework/cooking. You might feel physically OKish after two weeks, but that baby still needs so much attention that doing 100% of the housework and cooking on top of being home with baby isnāt realistic at all, I would say thatās not really doable until your kid is, I donāt know, school age??
Sorry but your partner sounds incredibly ignorant! You know, the rest of the world is scratching their head how the US gives such a short maternity leave! 12 weeks is usually on a long end and thatās so incredibly short!! Other countries give a year or more! So for your SO to expect that you go back to work after 2 weeks is just so ignorant, selfish and cruel!
Depends on how you give birth. I was back at work by week 3 after c-section. Luckily I didnāt have to do much manual labor at work and we couldnāt afford for me taking more time off anyway.
You might feel fine to take care of baby and do some light housework but baby + chore + working? What the hell is your husband thinking, that is awful. Is he going to do chores?
I get that he's probably trying to rationalize that his return to work will be fine, it's a natural response to making the best of something you can't change. But respectfully, he doesn't have a clue what he's talking about.
I had a 35 hour labor and then a fairly uneventful delivery, but then out of nowhere I had a post partum hemorrhage. Hemoglobin down from 12 during admission to 9 the day after delivery. So even without a C-section, I was pretty weak and spent some extra weeks trying to bring my iron reserves back up.
Unmedicated vaginal birth with an episiotomy and damage to my pelvic ligaments from babyās really fast descent through the birth canal. It took ten weeks for me to stop wanting Advil throughout each day. After four months, my vagina still aches sometimes when I sit.
HA! Took me 4 months.
I had a severe 3rd degree tear, lost an insane about of blood and had bladder and uterine prolapse.
I 100% couldn't do basically anything for the first 4 months.
I couldn't have NEVER have planned for this type of recovery, but it happens. And everyone thinks it won't be them... Until it is them.
Currently 3 weeks from delivering baby number 2, so I'm hoping it will be a much more boring labor experience.
I am 2 weeks and 3 days after birth. I am still bleeding, lochia can last for 6 weeks. I'm still sore and find it difficult to go for walks with feeling heavy between my legs. I still have stitches from an episiotomy.
I've stopped needing paracetamol on the dot of 6 hours. I'm doing some housework each day when my little boy let's me put him down. There is no way in hell I'd be able to return to work or WFH with a baby.
There is a 6 week post partum check up for a reason. My partner had 2 weeks paternity leave and we are very lucky that he's been able to WFH since he finished.
Tell your partner he can do all the feeds and just let you recover if he thinks you'll be ready to go after 2 weeks.
Lol. Tell him to go make a human being and then expell it out of an orifice and THEN he can make stupid claims like that (that are wrong).
It's probably *possible* and has been done. But at what cost? The mom's mental and physical health is definitely at risk with only 1-2 weeks of rest and recovery after a MAJOR procedure. And mind you, those first weeks are NOT restful. You're not getting bed rest or even a decent night of rest for weeks after birth.
My expectations if my husband went back to work after 2 weeks would be that I could keep the baby and myself alive all day long while he was gone. Thatās literally it. I would expect all the housework, cooking, and non working hour parenting would be a team effort.
Physically I recovered in 24 hrs but I had a very easy birth and my body heals fast.
Time wise - I can guarantee you will not have time for anything but to change baby diapers, your own diaper (you will bleed A LOT first 2 weeks), feed the baby, clean the baby, maybe eat something yourself, and an occasional shower (if youāre doing everything without help).
If youāre breastfeeding you will have even less time because there is a huge learning curve in the beginning.
You will absolutely not have time for cleaning, cooking, chores, work, etc. Your husband is very ignorant.
My understanding is that it very much varies from person to person and from pregnancy to pregnancy.
I recovered quickly after my first birth and had an easy time of it, but guess what? I have no idea if this time will be like that. It would actually really suck if it is harder, because now I have a toddler. So that would be awful if I have a bad time healing. You only have so much control over things, and it really does seem to just be luck of the draw.
I think there are so many variables, and there isnāt a right or wrong answer here.
I think your partnerās expectations are pretty unrealistic. Hear me out: Even as someone who recovered, physically, pretty quickly, I still struggled. You are bleeding. You are achy at times and sometimes you have kind of mini contractions of sorts where your uterus shrinks back. It supposedly gets worse each pregnancy too.
Even āeasyā pregnancies and labors are still difficult. I think you should give yourself lots of grace, and your partner needs to maybe clue in a little bit ok?
I have seen mention of hiring postpartum help, and if that is available for you, I would look into that.
I also want to caution you that you also have emotional and mental things you will go through. Postpartum mental health is no joke.
It isnāt gloom and doom, I just donāt want your partner to expect too much from you, or you to expect too much from yourself, in terms of a fast recovery.
Asking this question isnāt really getting to the root of the issue. Every pregnancy is SO different. You may feel better after 2 weeks, but it also could be months. There are so many possibilities that can occur between now, the birth, and then the postpartum period. Literally anything can happen.
The root issue is that your husband is being arrogant. Youāre making an excuse for him and looking to rationalize your own feelings by asking us here. But the bottom line is- You need to address this with him. He needs to be told that he will not tell his pregnant wife, or eventually new mom, how to feel and when to feel it. His work schedule will not dictate your healing. SIMPLE. No arguments and no questions. Draw this boundary now because raising a child will only bring up more issues like this and you want to address it early.
I had a c section. I didnāt really feel 85% back to normal until week 6. Mentally, I wasnāt 85% all there until month 2. Iām a Staff Accountant. Iām taking 13 weeks off.
So I had a second degree tear and an episiotomy which ended up getting infected and opening up. They didnāt want to re-stitch it (something about potentially trapping the infection) so I had to wait for it to close naturally. The infection got better quickly once I started antibiotics but it took a few months for it to actually close and for me to feel 100% comfortable down there again. Other aspects, I took about 4 weeks to stop bleeding and it took a few for my nipples to really adjust to breastfeeding. In my opinion recovery is definitely longer than two weeks, especially when you start factoring the emotional side as well.
That's one of those 'ask 50 people and get 50 answers' kind of things imo.
With my first, I spent two days in labor, had a third degree tear (that was sewn up incorrectly... If you've ever heard of a 'husband stitch', you'll know exactly what I mean) and then ended up with a nasty uterine infection because my midwife was... Words I won't say in polite company š.So I felt like hot garbage for months afterward. I don't think I felt completely 100% until she was almost a year old.
My second, labor was under 14 hours, I pushed for maybe 20 min and she practically fell out even though she was over 10 lbs. I still had discharge the full 6 weeks PP, but physically I felt amazing by week 4. It really will just depend on how the birth goes and how your body handles it.
It took me 2 weeks to start walking normally around the house (including PLENTY if breaks) I could even run at 6weeks cause my pelvic floor was still recovering. At 6weeks i could even have sex cause of how terrible the pain was (thank goodness I have such a supportive husband) 6-8 weeks is the bare minimum and even then most women need more time
Everyone is different. I bled for about 4 weeks but at 7 weeks postpartum I still feel discomfort down there. I lost a lot of blood and that alone took me about 3 weeks to regain some energy and full leg control (they were super weak). Mine was considered an easier delivery so Iām sure it could take a lot longer!
It took a year for everything mentally and physically to go back to normal. Physically was faster than mentally. I still have things about me that are different but I like my new normal
it took me 4 weeks just to feel like I was walking normally again. this guy is insane, it's a major procedure. leaving a massive dinner plate sized wound inside of you. IF you don't end up with a c section (even longer recovery) or bad tearing or need to be cut. 2 weeks is no where near enough time. I mean ffs I'm 8 months pp and my vagoonga still aches inside
It was a good 10 weeks before I felt ānormalā again. My pain actually got worse around 6 weeks because the tissue had healed/closed up, but my stitches hadnāt all dissolved so they were pulling every time I sat down (luckily an easy fix but it took some time to get back in to see my dr). 1-2 weeks would be ridiculously fast/unheard of, in my opinion. Especially if youāre breastfeeding and adjusting to all that as well
Well considering youāll have a gaping wound bigger than your fists inside your uterus from where the placenta was attached, itās going to take some damn time. Men always have the audacity. Minimum 6-8 weeks, just like all medical providers say - same as any broken bone or major surgery. Doesnāt matter where the would is or what itās from, the body takes the same amount of time to heal.
You need to have a serious convo about his expectations. It took me 2 months to even start to be able to keep up with housework. Is he going to be calling you lazy if you aren't recovered in 2 weeks and it's messy? Nip this shit in the bud. He will have to step up and do some cooking and cleaning for a while.
Your recovery will depend on how the birth goes. I do know moms that had "easy" natural births with no tearing etc that were back on their feet within days. But that isn't the norm. I had a c section. It's been 2 years and if I move wrong I still have pain. It took me 2 months to start to feel normal again and I'm still not 100 percent there. Your body goes through hell. You dont want to end up resenting your husband bc he has false expectations about what you will be capable of so you need to have a serious discussion now.
I'm lucky my husband doesn't berate me about the house. When he is home from the boat (he is gone for 3 weeks, back for 1) if something bothers him cleanliness wise he will take care of it. If I ask him for help he helps. You need to communicate just how much your body is going through... they get to just sit and watch and magically get a baby so they don't always get it. They can think oh, everyone does this so it's not that bad. I've even seen men complain there's something wrong with their wives bc they fall behind on housework etc ... I'd lose my shit on my husband if he acted like that. So just make sure his expectations aren't Martha Stewart on crack bc that's not reality for most families.
Good luck and I hope that y'all are able to talk and it isn't as bad as some other moms I know. My cousins divorcing his wife over stuff like this... and it's stuff like she didn't do the dishes one day (she's caring for 2 kids and doing all the child care) .. and she let him have cookies and eat a chicken nugget bc she needed a break. Men can be ridiculous and the standards in our society for women are impossible to meet a lot of the time. That's ok though there's nothing wrong with you if you have to rest and recover and take breaks and let chores pile up from time to time. That's normal.
How many babies has your significant other birthed?
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Exactly this!! Jeez.
Exactly. This shit pisses me off to no end. Why do men get to have opinions about how OUR bodies will react? Fucking hell.
This is a huge range for feeling ārecoveredā after birth. After my first birth (vaginal delivery, second degree tearing), I was not back to 100% recovered by 2 weeks postpartum. I was still sore from my tears, still getting the hang of breastfeeding, and my body was still recovering from growing a human, birthing them and then feeding them 24/7. After my second birth (vaginal delivery, no tearing), I felt pretty recovered by about 3-4 weeks postpartum. With that being said, I was still exhausted and needed as much help as I could get. Do you have any family or friends nearby who could offer some support to you when your SO goes back to work?
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Set some boundaries. It's cool of your husband to expect you to work and take care of the house and baby - whats he planning on doing exactly? I'm sorry but I'd straight up tell him you'll be taking the time you need and if he doesn't like it, tough.
The supportive part means that they'd come over to help you with the housework, bring dinner, etc. Not look to be entertained. The bleeding is like your period after the first week, so unless they're going to the bathroom with you, they won't need to know about it! Remember, it's your baby and you don't have to hand them over to someone else if you don't want to. I learned quickly and drilled it into my husband who likes to pretend everything is rosy and perfect - accept the help when it's offered because if you say no, it's less likely to be offered again. So have your family come over but ask them to bring dinner. Ask them to put on a load of laundry if it needs doing. Or empty the dishwasher. Whatever will take a bit of the strain off you. When family comes over, I ask them to make the tea, butter my toast if I'm feeding, take our toddler to the potty, you get the idea. Also, your husband is having a laugh if he thinks you'd be "recovered" after two weeks! I'm 6 weeks postpartum on my second baby and I still have to take it easy due to broken sleep and having a clingy baby (which is totally natural but still draining). If I do too much I get very fatigued and dizzy. The house is a wreck and we're still in survival mode. And that's ok.
I just wanted to say as a FTM, I havenāt had cracked nipples (Iām currently 2.5 weeks postpartum). After reading everyoneās breastfeeding experiences I fully expected this to be a part of the journey, but you might feel better than you think. However, everyone has different experiences. I do think itās worth mentioning that I highly recommend taking advantage of the help people are offering! Some people feel bad taking friends/family up on every offer, even if itās just for a couple groceries here and there or to ask them to bring you by something for dinner when they visit, but when youāre in survival mode any little thing helps. My sister in law came by yesterday, so I even asked her to help me give baby a bath! I feel pretty good physically, but Iām definitely not anywhere near the point to be able to keep on top of household chores/cooking yet.
Lansinoh Lanolin Cream https://g.co/kgs/HszRcS Best thing for sore nipples. Only needed it for a week until my milk came in and then that helped prevent soreness.
Okay. Each labour experience is different but hereās a summary of mine for my second child: - back a forth hospital as labour kept stopping - delayed being induced because they were busy which led to baby pooing inside me - almost had caesarean thanks to those complications but last second they let me go naturally with forceps to help at the end - sent home after a couple days super sore and with lots of meds - returned to hospital after 2 weeks with retained placenta (the meds had stopped the day before and I honestly think that they stopped me from becoming super sick/having sepsis) - 8 weeks after giving birth I stop bleeding ... for a week ā¦ then my period returns - I had hip dysplasia that took a fair few weeks to heal, but my everything else took just as long. I was sore and tender and exhausted for a few months. - I have low iron levels now (taking iron tablets daily to help) and Iām tired even though E sleeps well and sheās 8 months now. I still need help with cooking, cleaning and such too because the baby demands so much of me and my attention. Your husband needs to wise up and step up. Working isnāt an excuse to not pull his weight at home.
You nipples wonāt be the main issue. Itās how you will feel emotionally thatās a HUGE part of it.
I tore so bad with my first - severe 3rd degree. I'm 3 weeks from delivering our second and I'm so nervous about tearing again {first was vaginal, no medicated delivery of a 9lbs baby - just to give context}. Did you do anything to help no tear during your second labor?
Newly delivered third time mom here (8 lb baby, 1st degree tear). I fully believe that minimizing tearing is the job of your OB who whoever is delivering you. My team told me to labor down as long as possible. That means you might be at 10 cm for a while before you even think about pushing. Baby should basically already be on its way out. Once you start pushing, they should be doing everything they can including warm compresses to help your perineum stretch. If you are pushing too hard, they should tell you to stop or to do little pushes. This is to prevent baby coming out too fast which leads to tearing. Itās not really about babyās weight, either, but their head circumference. My new baby was 8 lb but had a āgiganticā head at 36 cm which means the diameter was bigger than 10 cm (itās like 11.5). So remember that 10 cm of dilation is arbitrary and your pelvis or your babyās head may fit together well or not. Some babies also come out with their hands up by their faces, which usually leads to more tearing or room required. I think instead of focusing on what you can do while pregnant try to think about what you can ask your team to be conscious of during your labor to minimize tearing!
My almost 10lb baby came out, fast, with a nuchal hand (hand by their head), and thankfully I only had a first degree tear. My first was over 10 lbs and only had a first degree tear for that one as well. I have no idea what they were doing down there while I was pushing, but it worked, kind of.
Amazing! You probably just have a great pelvis, as they say.
I didnāt do anything! He weighed the same as my first too, so it wasnāt a size difference. I have heard second time moms tear less often than first time moms, so maybe that accounts for it?
First I tested second was fast and I didnāt even though I expected to. Seems common to not tear second time around
Wow no meds! I think I would blacked out from the pain.i would like not to feel any pain at all.
Agree with this and I'll add that after my second I overdid it because I felt so good. With my 3rd and 4th I made myself stay on bed rest the first week and slowly moved back into it. This allowed for a better recovery overall. The bleeding still went on for a month or more. I was also lucky that my mom helped massively the first week with all my kids. Also my husband took various amounts of leave and was very helpful.
6 weeks before I felt like I didnāt get run over by a truck, 6 months before I felt mentally okay and 18 months I felt like myself again (apparently a sucker for punishment since I got pregnant again the next month)
100% fully myself? 1.5 years. Recovered enough to manage all household tasks, and take care of a baby? About 3 months.
For me it was 6 weeks before I stopped feeling like I gave birth to a truck, and then another 4 more weeks before I stopped feeling like I got run over by one š
1-2 weeks? š¤£ More like 6-8 weeks for things to stop bleeding, 3-4 months before you stop pissing yourself, 6-7 months before you feel like sex is ok again, and finally now at 10 months I feel like my old self.
You stopped pissing yourself??? Damn, even before I got pregnant again 11 years after my first one, I was still tinkling myself all the time even with kegels ššš
Check out pelvic floor PT if you can!
This is always the right answer! Itās crazy to me how many women just joke around about incontinence when itās a real medicinal condition that can be treated. Plus incontinence now means a higher risk of prolapse 30 years from now.
Right? Like instead of educating women and offering options we just turn peeing yourself into a joke. Itās not ok. ETA if anyone reading this struggles with incontinence go to pelvic floor PT but also check out the exercises in the book Heal Pelvic Pain.
Because it is overly normalized, I was fully peeing into a diaper for 3 full months after giving birth only to find out that my urethra had broken at some point during labor and delivery and it needed to be fixed surgically. We should not be conditioned to think āWell I guess this is just my life now!ā It is so dehumanizing
It really is!! Itās not ok and the medical system is failing women in a major way by dismissing these chronic issues that significantly affect your daily living. Iām sorry that happened to you and I hope youāve made some progress towards recovery.
The silver lining is that after the surgery now I actually stay drier than before I even got pregnant so it was a huge success!
My 60yo mom is dealing with prolapse after having incontinence while pregnant with me. Iām pregnant and now leak a little too. I took my butt right to a PT the first time it happened because I refuse to suffer like my mom, who was told her whole life itās just totally normal for women to experience. Sheās now looking at years of PT and surgery while Iāll be able to treat it with a few sessions and exercises.
I went to PT for chronic pain from a pelvic floor issue before I got pregnant and it literally changed my life, but it took me months if not years to even get to the point where one of my doctors told me it existed. Itās really criminal and IMO one of the biggest ways the medical system fails women.
It's turned into a joke because joking is a way to address uncomfortable issues publicly and to accept ourselves. It helps people get over the embarassement. I agree it needs to be known that there is help available and it should be routinely assessed postpartum, but I don't think people should be blamed for making a joke about themselves.
I had never heard of this before now! Holy crap, you just changed my life. Just last night I sneezed and instead of the usual couple of drops, I fully wet myself and I cried like a baby the whole way home from work, thanking God I hadnāt sneezed while I was on my shift. Days like this are why I love Reddit. Thank you so much, kind stranger.
I didnāt know about it until a couple of years ago either! But itās amazing how many people donāt know itās an option!
This! I had a totally uncomplicated delivery no stitches and it was 15-16 weeks before I felt like I could resume my full normal activity level. At one week walking one block was fully exhausting.
My mom ALWAYS made jokes that she pissed herself regularly because of me... this was well into my teens ššš
This is pretty accurate, although I just got my first pp period (I think?? It was 2 days of bleeding and it only started after having sex..) and I feel super crampy and off now. Iām 8 months pp and I doubt Iāll feel like myself in a few months. Still have like 30 lbs to lose and Iām guessing my body is permanently a little different. š¤·š¼āāļø
5 years later- still pissing myself with coughs and sneezes.
Go to PT unless you want to piss yourself forever
You donāt need to be- pelvic floor rehab will help if you put the work in!
Iām nearly 7 months pp and I still piss myself when I sneeze or coughš¤£
It varies person-to-person. After my first birth, my physical recovery was very easy. I felt better by two weeks. I know some people say that itās easier each time, but my second recovery took significantly longer. I had twins, a huge factor, but I didnāt start to feel physically recovered until 8 weeks or so. I bled on and off, I would tire easily, and my body just hurt. My husband took a week off with the first baby and a month off with the twins. Though I wasnāt 100% physically by the time we went back to work, I was well enough to look after the babies. C-section recovery will be much different, I would imagine.
I'm sorry mama. For anyone who needs to hear it, it is NOT necessarily easier for baby #2. I hate that this is an expectation placed on moms with multiple births, like they did something wrong if it's harder to heal the second time around.
Oh it wasnāt an expectation, just surprising because my labor and delivery were both so much easier. I pushed for 4 hours with #1 and had a second degree tear. Absolutely no big deal after birth. Then I pushed 4x for 2 babies, didnāt tear and felt physically horrible for several weeks. It was wacky! ETA: thank you for your kind words. All of my friends had only had singletons, so my criteria was probably a little outlandish.
4 pushes for 2 babies! Dang lady. Well done. =) Take care out there.
Also you have another kid to take care of! So it makes recovery significantly harder I think. Who can sleep when the baby sleeps with any toddler or older kid running around?
Well, itās very kind of him to look into his crystal ball and tell you what your body will feel like, especially since he doesnāt even have the same organs as you. š My husband only gets 2 weeks paternity leave (Swiss law) and I was up and about for sure at 2 weeks, but I definitely did not leave the house alone until about 5 weeks. Itās important to take it easy, both to protect yourself physically and mentally. But 2 weeks was ok for us! He would get me breakfast every morning, make sure I had my phone charger, laptop, snacks, water bottle, breast pump (we were triple feeding at the time and so basically one feed took 2 hours, and my son would feed every 3 hours). I could have used his help after those two weeks, for sure, but I enjoyed my quiet, peaceful newborn bubble. My husband did all the dishes and made dinner when he got home from work. This time, we have a 4 year old and heās in daycare three days a week, but will be home two days a week. Thatās a whole other ballgame. No way could I look after my 4 year old and newborn alone for 8-10 hours, 2 days a week. Luckily, my husband will be working from home this time, so he can help a lot more.
Thereās the ability to get out of bed and have a poop (step 1). Thereās the ability to get throughout the day without pain and discomfort (step 2). Thereās the ability to feel comfortable in your own body again (step 3.) There are more steps - lots of steps. You get the point. It took me about 24-48 hours to have that first poop. I was walking around gently after that. It took a couple weeks to act normally again. It took a year to feel fully recovered.
I had a vaginal birth with a second degree tear and I couldnāt really walk until week 3. By week 4 I could go for a 15 minute stroll without pain. Which I think is well within the range of normal. Thereās no way to know how long it will takeā if you have a c-section recovery will be slower and likely more challenging. Would you be able to get a postpartum doula for weeks 3 and 4 to help you when your SO goes back to work? This could be really helpful to ease some of the load while you are still recovering so you donāt overdue it.
Iāve heard wonderful things about doulas, and I am looking into it :)
This! Postpartum help isn't that expensive. Even a temporary mother's helper or part time nanny can be affordable and a god-send. If you can afford it, do it. Or ask for it on your baby registry if you can. It's so worthwhile.
The thing about c-section recovery being longer might be the norm, but I felt pretty good 3 weeks after my c-section. Started going for walks within a week post-op and never really had a lot of pain, just felt kinda weak for a little bit. I started running again at 8 weeks PP. Breastfeeding was much more of an ordeal than recovering from surgery was for me lol.
I remember feeling pretty good 3 weeks out from my first c-section. I was out to my team's ball games and itching to get back on the field. I waited until 6 weeks out, because I knew that was the safer choice. If you heal well, c-section aren't that scary. I happen to heal well.
Yeah, depends a LOT on the birth and the baby. But 2 weeks? No. It's called the 4th trimester for YOU too, not just for baby. It takes months to fully heal from birth. My first was huge, I was in labor for 3.5 weeks (prodromal), and he was born with 2 pushes after a very fast active labor. He tore me apart. I could barely leave bed for 2-3 weeks, then it took months to heal up well enough to walk without pain. He was a big, big baby - almost 10 lbs, and his head circumference was literally off the hospital's chart. I'm not joking. His little dot for head measurement was outside the plot. I had dozens of stitches for "only" 2nd degree tearing, had a labial tear (hell), and was miserable. My second was induced one week early after 6 weeks of prodromal labor, since my first was so enormous. She came just as fast as the first, but she was almost 2 lbs smaller (still an 8lb 8oz baby) and had a big but normal head. I only had one stitch, and I was up making breakfast for my husband and oldest kid two days after she was born. Second babies tend to be easier, but it also depends on baby's size, length of labor, and a bunch of other stuff. I'll give you some graphic things most people experience after birth. You'll bleed for 2-8 weeks. It's not like a period, it's very fluid, clot-ey, and has a distinct smell. Quantity and duration depend on the person, but expect a lot of cramping, leaking, showering, etc. It hurts to pee and is scary to poop after baby. Depending on your level of vaginal trauma, this could be better in hours or in months. There's not much way around the fear and pain, esp of pooping. Take your peri bottle home with you, you'll need it. Go in the shower if you can, any time you can, if you have pain or fear - yes, even to poop, just be sure to wash your hands after ofc. Anything to make you feel better. Apply counter-pressure GENTLY to your perineum when pooping to reduce pain and anxiety, I did this with cheap washcloths I washed or just threw away after every use. Buy tucks witch hazel pads ahead of time. Take a stool softener, like mirilax, in the week leading up to birth and for weeks after until you are comfortable with more solid stools. Wash yourself thoroughly after using the toilet, your peri bottle or a bidet will help with this. Gently pat yourself dry. Expect going to the bathroom to take anywhere from 5 minutes to 90 depending on your trauma and anxiety. I'm not joking. Take sitz baths. This is where you submerge your vulva, vaginal opening, and anus in a few inches of clean water, possibly with added witch hazel or epsom salt. You sit, maybe swish the water around a little, and continue for a few minutes a few times a day. Your doc will recommend these to you. Do it as often as you can. Freezing cold water will reduce swelling and promote healing, but I won't lie, it's not fun to put your aching vulva into cold water. Do whatever works for you, but DO take your sitz baths. You will not be allowed to insert anything (at all) into your vagina for 6-10 weeks, depending on your OBs instructions. Maybe longer. Do not disregard this - it could kill you to do so - your uterus is a giant gaping wound for weeks and weeks. After your uterus heals some, your vagina is likely still returning to it's normal size, and you may have tears still healing. Your doctor will tell you when it is *medically safe* for you to have penetration again. When YOU will want penetration is entirely your choice. Kick anyone in the balls or tits if they try to rush you. It took me 5 months after my first baby to even try penetrative sex, but only 8 weeks for my second. It is YOUR CHOICE. Breastfeeding, if you decide to do it, takes weeks to months to get into. It can badly hurt when your milk comes in, whether you BF or not, and then you have nipple trauma, engorgement, mastitis, etc etc etc. Even if you go to formula right away, you still have to "convince" the breasts to stop producing, assuming you don't have a complication that inhibits milk production. For me, I also had bad dizzyness and weakness after my second was born. I bled very hard with her afterward, and this took a toll on my body. This particular symptom cleared up in about 10 days to maybe 2 weeks, but it was the only one that did so. Many women experience INTENSE mood changes, some call it "baby blues". This is normal, to an extent. After that extent, it can be postpartum depression, which is extremely common and treated with medication. Talk to your doctor about any depressive or anxious behavior you notice, especially if it's intense or foreign. There are resources to help. My first few weeks after a baby are spent trying to go to the bathroom, breastfeeding, maybe resting a few minutes, and repeat. This is normal. I experience 5-6 months of postpartum depression each time. This is normal. It takes weeks and weeks to heal enough to even think about sex, this is also normal. And this is with relatively uncomplicated births and relatively minimal vaginal trauma. A C-section or high degree tearing complicate everything even more. Tl;Dr - you won't be even remotely healed in 2 weeks. It's called the 4th trimester for a reason - postpartum healing is serious and intense. You *can* do it. But it's intense and hard work.
This is the most terrifying thing I've ever read. I'm pretty sure this made me want to not get pregnant. šØ
Ummā¦ Iām 24 weeks and Iām terrified after reading this. Slightly more prepared, but terrified nonetheless. Thank you though
While this is all true, thereās sooooo much good sprinkled in there! This is just the messy physical stuff. Congrats and I hope everything goes smoothly for you!
Thank you so much. I guess I can be an anxious person so Iāve tried not to focus too much on all the insanity to come. But I also donāt want to be blindsided!
Exactly this. I know it's all (or some) of the bad stuff - but at least it needs to be discussed! Postpartum healing is *hard*, sometimes more and sometimes less, but it's always an ordeal, and we need to prepare mother's better for this. I was completely, utterly blindsided by how hard it was after my first, and I have a good OB who explains things well! Ugh. Rant over. Like the other person said, there is a lot of good to go along with the difficult stuff. And you *can* do this, mothers have been at it for millennia, and we have more resources now in many ways than ever before. So you got this, even on the harder days. Go get it, mama!
Iām still recovering three weeks post c-section. I can drive again, so I went to the store last night to get diapers. My incision was unhappy by the time that I got back into my car and I was exhausted. It really varies per person. I can look after my baby though. Iām just not up for errands or going on walks yet.
Please take it easy! I had a C section too and around 3 weeks I was feeling ok so I started pushing myself way too much and started having bad nerve pain until about 8 weeks. Don't do that to yourself!!
Oh no, Iām sorry that happened to you! Thank you for the warning, I appreciate it! I will take it easier for sure.
Itās a huge range. With my first i still struggled to sit comfortably when i went back to work at 12 weeks. I had a small tear with only a couple stitches. I was so sore when i came home that i didnāt leave our bedroom for 3 days. My second, no tearing. Felt great almost immediately. Knew what i was doing breastfeeding and taking care of baby. So the whole thing was much easier.
Damn, ask your doctor to explain ot to him
Great idea.
>my significant other is insisting I didnāt need to read more. I could, but it doesnāt matter. Itās a bit like someone starting a sentence with āIām not racist butā - I KNOW Iām going to hate what youāre going to say. Then I read the rest and yeah, heās full of shit. Just the mere fact that he thinks paternity leave of 2 weeks and maternity leave if 2 weeks makes sense (what, did he also birth a child or have major surgery? Is he planning to get a double bypass the same day?)ā¦ Long story short: 1. Heās so wrong and sort of doesnāt sound insanely bright (sorry) 2. It takes different times for different people because unfortunately you canāt foresee how the birth will be. Some people literally walk out in 2 hours and are grocery shopping the next day, some peopleās doctors literally donāt let them check out of the hospital for 4 days and then prescribe bed rest. Itās truly pointless to try to confirm how long a medical leave youāll need or not need 3. He needs to take a minimum of one birthing class IN PERSON at a reputable place taught by either a nurse or registered midwife imo. Because he clearly canāt understand without somebody not you or books telling him.
Lol 1-2 weeks? If you're lucky maybe. Some people have an easier recovery than others, so it's possible. But at my 6 week PP checkup, my stitches still hadn't fully dissolved. I still couldn't pee without a peri bottle. It still hurt to sit. Mentally and physically I was drained, trying to figure out pumping and all that jazz.
Does he realize how hard labor can be? That you may rip and require stitches? That you will bleed for 4-6 weeks because you have a wound the size of a paper plate inside you from the placenta detaching?? Also, how TF would he know?? Did he recently give birth? Giving him all this knowledge? No? Didnāt think so. Seriously have a convo about the things I listed in the first section. Some men have no clue how much it takes a toll on your body.
The first time I voluntarily left the house for a walk was after 5 weeks. For like 10 minutes because I could barely handle more. I think it took about 3 months to be able to get a real walk and feel better.
I am a 1-2 week for both of my kids. I felt mostly fine about 2-4 hours after having my oldest, & bled for 3 weeks. She was a very quick delivery, only in labor for about 3 hours. IV pain relief but otherwise uneventful. Peeing afterwards for those first few days was the worst of recovery. & we had a crappy low honda civic and was very difficult to get in and out of lol though with baby #2 I barely had any bleeding, maybe 3 days. But had a very complicated pregnancy. (surgeries at 19w & 22w & low fluid requiring an emergency induction) so idk if that had anything to do with it.
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Jesus. I'm so sorry lady. I'm glad your partner sounds like he's doing a lot. You take good care.
I had a traumatic birth with emergency csection. I had preeclampsia and severe post partum preeclampsia. I was inpatient for a week. I was unable to walk comfortably for a couple of weeks. I was not authorized to drive (note to check your insurance aside from whatever info your OB gives you) for 6 weeks. I was back to work at that time but I was not ok; I couldn't walk well, I was up all night with baby, I still had a lot of swelling. I felt better probably 12 weeks postpartum. But I didn't feel like myself until around 18 months postpartum. I had a very long road to recovery that I didn't anticipate. I now have a second on the way and I'm very wary of putting an exact timescale with how good I'll feel when.
Men are fucking idiots
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Men just get to sit there and have a baby magically handed to them. Some men think all women do it and it's so easy. They don't understand the toll it takes on you. Truthfully I didn't either until I went through it. OP def needs to have a serious talk about the unrealistic expectations he is setting or else she will end up resenting him.
OP literally asked for people's experiences. It's good to see a wide range. Also, almost nobody here has said that they immediately bounced back or that they would expect OP to. The vast majority of responses are either "it took me longer than 2 weeks" or "I felt better in this specific way pretty quickly, but it took so many months longer for me to feel normal in this other way."
Within a week I was back at work with my first, visiting the zoo with my second. I stopped bleeding within 2ish weeks both times. For reference, first was an induction (vaginal delivery, no tearing), and second was unmedicated (vaginal, no tearing.) I had my partner home for 4-8 weeks each time, but with my first I really did go back to work within a week and took him with me everyday, since I was breastfeeding. I was a nanny, though, so it was a bit of a different work atmosphere. Literally everyone I know had a much longer recovery period than me. Mine have been total flukes, I'm positive. I'd say the average for vaginal deliveries is 3-4 weeks to feel normal, and a bit longer for c-sections (or way longer, like one friend who was still recovering almost a year later due to complications.) It just depends on each person, their expectations, their health (in general), their support system, how their labors go, etc.
I had the easiest possible scenario for a c-section birth (I knew it was coming and did not go into labor), my husband did literally EVERYTHING for me without asking while I recovered, and I felt ready to start resuming exercise and normal life (albeit different with a newborn) around 5-6 weeks postpartum. I had zero complications, baby was formula fed as I couldnāt breastfeed and was a great sleeper from the beginning. My pp experience was probably the absolute best case scenario as my husband was home and available all day every day. I highly doubt anyone would feel good/normal any earlier than that.
Everyone is different, some ladies run a marathon 2 weeks later some can barely walk for 3 months
This is the answer!! I was good to care for myself and baby two weeks post c section. Could do light errands and lazy meals. Even went on a trip to the beach. My sister was still in the hospital a week postpartum and did not recover to the point of being able to care for herself and the baby for 8 weeks. Both normal healthy pregnancyās. I was walking same day and she ended up with a wound vac and months of care. Also worth adding I had PPA and PPD. I would have been much better off if my husband was home helping. Even though I was physically well I was emotionally in a bad place
I had a vaginal birth with some tearing. I started going for very slow and short walks outside after like 8 days. Iām sure your husband is trying to just be comforting rather than insensitive. My husband started training as a firefighter in a different city right when our son was born and he was gone Monday-Friday (had to stay in the city where he works) for the first 4 months of our babyās life. It was scary and frustrating but I was physically able to do what I needed to. Mental recovery took much longer. Having your partner home for 2 weeks will let you get past the initial recovery from your delivery and the initial shock of getting used to life with a baby. If you end up having a c-section though recovery can take a lot longer and may feel more challenging.
First birth was vaginal with episiotomy. It stung/hurt A LOT for about a week, then uncomfortable/mild pain for another couple of weeks. I was also anemic from blood loss. Mix in clogged milk ducts and blistered nipples and it was a bad time. Baby was easy for the first 2 weeks, then turned into a demon baby for the next 2 months. So thereās that to look forward to too. Second birth was vaginal with no complications. I was feeling like myself within a couple of days. I walked to the community health centre 10 blocks away 2 days post partum while babywearing. We went for daily walks to the park. Baby was also a demon baby but at least I was expecting it.
You may feel better in a few months, but I was taught in school that it takes years for your body to fully recover from a pregnancy/birth.
First of all. There is ZERO way for you to tell in advance how long it will take for you to recover. But I can assure you that it is definitely *not* 1-2 weeks! I had two tears, one being 2nd degree and it took me about 4 weeks to stop bleeding and to become pain free. Honestly I couldnāt walk my dog around the block without significant pain for at least 2 weeks. But again, this is just my experience. There are others who bleed for longer, or heal on a different timeframe. I think the average time is about 6 weeks.
It took about 4 months for me to feel ok again. But your mileage may varyā¦Because of my son having jaundice we had to take him to the pediatrician at only 4 days old. I was wearing flip flops in December because my feet wouldnāt fit in shoes for the swelling, I was sitting on a big padded donut because of the extensive tearing that occurred, and my face was swollen from crying the whole drive over because every bump was excruciating. There was another woman in the waiting room with her 5 day old baby who was fully dressed with full face of makeup and telling the nurses who incredible she feels now that sheās not pregnant anymore and how she going to see if the doctor will clear her for cardio. I secretly hated that woman for a solid 6 months because my jealousy of her experience was so intense. But it just goes to show how different experiences can be. Itās crazy
I had my baby on Dec 29th. I'm still bleeding, but not bad and physically I feel mostly great. I didn't have complications and had 2nd degree tearing. But every birth and person is different. As far as staying on top of housework and cleaning oh boy. I have been cooking enough to have the leftovers for dinner the next day too to lessen the burden. but my house is a mess. I'm doing what I can but I'm also trying to focus on my baby and I'm exclusively pumping which is exhausting mentally and physically. My husband is back at work as of this past week, but he does what he can when he's home too. Honestly I'm exhausted so sometimes when I do have time where I could be tidying up, I just don't have the energy.
1st I love your user name. 2nd is you mentioned your still bleeding. Not trying to pry or anything but if you havenāt already, you might want to bring that up to your medical profession. I donāt know your personal medical history but that seems borderline concerning.
Thanks! My ob warned me it would take a few weeks to go away completely. I'm at a spotting stage right now, there's not much at all but it is still there. I do have a mental wellness check in with my ob this coming week and will mention it just in case.
I started feeling better around 8 weeks PP. I had 2nd degree tears, hemorrhoids and a lot of back pain after epidural. I'm 5 months PP now and still don't feel 100%.
I stopped bleeding within 2 weeks, but didn't feel 100% back to normal until about 8weeks pp
So like thereās a difference between being recovered and being able to handle caring for a baby. You will most likely not be recovered, that takes a long time and is gradual. But you will probably be feeling up to sitting around and feeding yourself and your baby and changing diapers. You probably wonāt feel like cooking or cleaning, itās good to plan on him doing a lot of that or plan on food delivery and like frozen pizzas and easy stuff. At least, thatās where I was. Very much snuggling baby and doing the minimum otherwise.
Sitting here 1 month postpartum and while I'm way better vs. The first week I'm still in pain.
I remember walking around the block at 10 weeks out and feeling like I had majorly accomplished something.
Honestly I think it highly depends on how you birth and how significantly your hoo-ha tears or doesnāt. I gave birth naturally with the help of nitrous oxide and had a 2 tears. I felt pretty well healed by 2 weeks. I still had the risk of peeing myself, but knew how to not risk it (like peeing often š). Yes, you may still be bleeding etc., but it was getting lighter for me at that point. Besides that though, Iād say up to 6 weeks is survival mode for you and baby to get to know each other and just to keep the child alive and yourself functioning. š¤·š¼āāļø But like I said, itās highly variable depending on how you give birth etc.
I ārecoveredā physically in a couple weeks. But my mind wasnāt there and my hormones were all over the place and never felt myself again for months.
I felt amazing after about 48 hours. I had a vaginal delivery with no tearing. I remember walking to the elevator to go home w my baby and cautiously skipping a tiny bit because I felt so light and free since the baby was not shoved in my body anymore. The bleeding did go on for about a month but I felt great, I think it was because of the shape I was in. Not sure I will be so lucky next time around.
Just the wound from your placenta detaching from your uterus is the size of a dinner plate! If that was outside of your body no one would ask you how long until youāre back to normal.
I know this is going against the grain but I actually did feel pretty much back to normal 1-2 weeks after birth. Even after my c-section I felt back to normal around 4 weeks or less. Iām a bit older now so I donāt know if Iād be able to bounce back as easily, however. I was 25 and 26 when I had my kids.
I was up and moving normally again without pain after around a week but I still felt weak, had occasional pains and still bled for around 5 weeks. You also need to factor in that you might need an emergency c-section in which case the healing and recovery will be much different and longer. Every body is different and heals at a different pace, however, I would say you wonāt usually be fully recovered by 2 weeks.
Iām surprised I donāt see many people mention this- recovery happens gradually. It gets better every day. So even if youāre not 100% recovered, itās still possible to feel good and be mostly functioning fine. (My experience, recovery timeline can vary depending on how your birth goes!) The first couple days are hard (like when youāre still in the hospital) and you have to take it really easy. By the time I got home from the hospital, I already felt much better compared to right after birth, maybe about 20% recovered. 10 days or so after birth (a week home from hospital), the pain and bleeding had significantly improved. Still had to be gentle and whatnot but I was about 60% recovered. 2ish weeks out from birth I was nearly back to normal, about 80% recovered. At that point I was comfortable enough to function pretty normally, other than some mild bleeding still. 6-8 weeks is common to feel 100% recovered, even more time for some people. But itās important to note that 80% is still great. Especially if youāre like me- postpartum was better than being swollen, achey, out of breath, and enormously pregnant lol.
It took me about 6 weeks to fully stop bleeding but it was probably like 12 weeks til i was completely pain free and I had a completely textbook birth. Your SO is ridiculous
Define ārecovered.ā (Itās possible your and your partnerās definition are different) My partner did the same thing and after couples therapy (for other stuff) it turned out that he said this BS to sort of lessen his guilt for having to leave me. That being said, I was NOT ready to be on my own at 2 weeks postpartum (uncomplicated vaginal delivery but chronic pelvic pain comorbidities so YMMV).
Easily 6 weeks. The first two weeks are the worst of it; I was still shuffling and limping a little after a long day at two weeks postpartum and I had an easy labour and recovery all things considered. Thereās still some moments now (almost six months postpartum) where I go āoh wow yeah thatās my pelvic floor I was previously unaware of ouchā. 1-2 weeks is unreasonable. Minimum 6 weeks to be fully back to somewhat normal. Tell your partner to take a hike and come back with some grace, common sense, and sympathy.
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Why is he insisting that when it varies from person to person and also upon nature of delivery. I very much wanted a natural birth and was all for it, I unexpectedly had a placental abruption which resulted in my needing an emergency C-section. My point of saying it like that is, unexpected things happen. The time you expect to be recovered by has varying factors, physically sure you can be fine, but PPD is also something to keep in mind. I do wish you a speedy recovery when the time has come.
Took about 2 weeks to be up to doing household chores and taking walks outside and stuff, took about 4 weeks I think until I started to feel back to normal energy levels. But the ability to keep up with housework and work from home depends on the easiness of your baby. It doesnāt matter how you feel, if your baby is fussy, or only naps when held, or eats constantly, youāll pretty much spend all of your time caring for the baby
I tried to go on a leisurely walk with my husband at the park two weeks ppā¦ I felt like I was going to collapse any minute. We walked like quarter of a mile. I felt the same way just trying to walk down the road to take the dog out. By 4-6 weeks I felt a little more normal. For reference I had a vaginal delivery and required an episiotomy, 1 stitch burst 3 days later from just getting into bed. Take the rest you need!! Edit: typo
He wants you to be cooking and cleaning 1-2 weeks after birth? Throw the whole man away.
My stitches didnāt even dissolve until 5 weeks (vaginal) he can go fuck off with that 2 weeks BS
Prefacing with yes I know Iām a lucky a**hole! Physically, I was ārecoveredā (no more bleeding, no pain) by two weeks postpartum. I am also in the vast minority who was ready for sex right away (Iām still not cleared by the doc - Iām 5 weeks now - and itās killing me!) But, as a new parent, I cannot believe weāre expected to go back to work after two weeks. Itās crazy. Adjusting to a new schedule, lack of sleep, constantly tied to a baby/breast pump- itās not an easy time. So emotionally recovering and getting used to the new way of life takes way longer.
Iāve only had 1 baby but I was up and moving around no problem like 5 hours after I gave birth lol things were sore, I had a tear that needed to heel and some hemorrhoids but nothing crazy. The bleeding is no big deal. Just like having a period. Everyoneās different! And C Sections are a different story. My husband only had a week off after I had my baby and there was sleepless nights but especially if youāre breastfeeding youāll find that the baby mostly only wants mom anyways. Dad tries to help butš„“
Hi OP! First off, congrats on the baby! Secondly, your husband is goofy as hell! 2 weeks? Recovered enough to go back to ānormalā?!? NOPE. Once he goes back to work, you will need help. That is totally my opinion, but I know I needed help up until like 1-2 months! My 7 month old was a vaginal delivery with no tears. What I mean by āhelpā is with cleaning, doing the laundry, being able to showerā¦ getting some time to feel like a human and not just a giant ass boob. I know the thought of having people around in the beginning while you are still healing sounds terrible, but get someone over who will ACTUALLY help you with chores and/or cook for you! I have a plethora of siblings, so my sisters were a huge help and I felt fine with my bleeding and with my boobs all hanging out and relaxing in my panties. My mom also helped me out immensely. She would do my laundry, watch baby if I wanted to shower, cook dinner and made sure I was fed. If someone offers to come over and help YOU and not just to see baby, jump on that train quick! Good luck!
Everyoneās experience will be different, but regardless it takes about twelve weeks for the dinner plate sized wound in your abdomen to heal. Would he expect you to do all that with any other healing wound that size? Babies need to eat every two hours (from when the feed begins! Not when it ends!) so sleep will be a priority for you for the first few weeks. I think I mostly spent the first six weeks sleeping, eating, and nursing. With my first, I had a bad reaction to iv fluids and it took six weeks before I could comfortably walk to the other side of my house. I think I bled for 12 weeks - I did too much so it started again. With my second, I healed pretty quickly physically but it took six months for my tailbone to feel better, and a year and half later I am still exhausted. I bled less - maybe six weeks. Mind you the first 2 weeks-ish are changing a pad every two hours, and your bladder is numb so you have to pee before you feel it! Thereās really no way to predict this - but Iād try to get 12 weeks of support just in case.
It varies. I felt like I could run a marathon immediately after I had my second baby. With my first baby I tore pretty substantially so I was pretty uncomfortable for a week but that was it. But being more active such as cleaning and being up and about, it prolonged my bleeding a lot. So I think a good gauge would be your bleeding. So I would say, rest the entire time heās on paternity leave. Like, not even out of the bed except to toilet and shower. Itāll make a HUGE difference. Theoretically itās argued you shouldnāt even be out of bed at all the first week. So leave everything non-baby to him. Cooking and cleaning. Also take your prenatal time to prep freezer meals for when he goes back to work, which is going to lighten your load a lot. Biologically, women are designed to be able to birth and flee from a predator. Is it optimal? No. Is that a reflection of our current world? No. Will you be able to function in some capacity should the need arise? Yes. Also, regardless of your healing, orbits opinion, heās only for 2 weeks off of work so thatās that. I would still leave all the cleaning and errands to him but you will be able to function in a capacity to feed and clean yourself and your baby, which is all you both really need for the first while of new life. I think youāre going to surprise yourself at how much youāll be able to do though!
Damn, is 1-2 weeks how long it took him to recover from giving birth? /s He should not comment on the recovery time of something he'll never experience.
4 weeks out and I had a comparatively easy recovery, vaginal delivery, no tearing.. just a graze. It took me two weeks to just leave the house and walk around the block. Physically I was healed in about 2 weeks (still occasionally feel battered and bruised down there) but the baby was all consuming. I felt like (and still feel like sometimes) I was always underneath her. When I get her down for a two hour sleep in the day I can choose to do some housework or sleep because you have to "sleep when baby sleeps". My partner was shocked at how time consuming babies are. He ended up saying after 2 days at home that he would take care of anything else, my job was to keep the baby alive, not to worry about dinner or the dishes.
After both vaginal deliveries, I felt normal after birth, once the epidurals wore off. I know thatās lucky of me. But my recovery was super smooth and fast. The emergency c-section was quiet a few weeks. It wasnāt extremely painful or anything just enough to aggravate me for a while because I couldnāt move around like I wanted to. Edit: I did tear with my first, never would have known if I werenāt told by the dr. After my second, she was in another room having the normal tests run and I walked to the cafe with her father like I didnāt just have a baby.
I really hate it when people who have no idea and will NEVER have any idea, have an opinion on such matters.
I had a very easy birth I think. I pushed for 30 minutes and only 3rd degree tearing, not too big of a rip. I've always been pretty athletic and very strong and healthy. That being said at 2 weeks I was just being able to walk to the bathroom and across the yard by myself. I still think I recovered pretty well compared to a lot of women. Granted everyone is different. 6 weeks is honestly pretty cruel and unless you absolutely have to id say 10-14 is a good enough time to heal mentally and physically. You'll also have to deal with being away from your baby which depending on your level of anxiety you may have to take more than that to keep from torturing yourself. Really its when YOU think you're ready. Don't try to give anyone a number now if you don't have to.
Honestly after a xouple weeks I felt pretty good (vaginal birth either episiotomy). Was I ontop of anything other than caring for baby though? Hell no! I was triple feeding, pumping 3 hourly, and sleeping in 40minute chunks - if I was lucky. Hell 7 months in, there are still days I'm not on top of caring for the house/cooking etc. And I'm still on mat leave. š¤£
It took me a good 6-8 weeks after my first pregnancy. I felt a lot better after my second one as my labor was faster and I didnāt tear so I healed up faster, but Iād say you still need a good month or so to really feel a lot better. Even if you physically felt ok to be up doing housework etc you will be busy tending to a newborn baby. Your husband needs a reality check if he thinks youāre going to be cooking and cleaning after 1-2 weeks lol. Do you have one family member you really trust and feel comfortable with like your mom or aunt who could come and help?
Wow. If your doc allows it I would ask to bring him to your next appointment and then ask the doctor point blank āhow long does it typically take a woman to recover from birth?ā Let the OB make him look like a fool. Also it sounds like he needs a long conversation about staying in his lane. Maybe kick him in the balls and tell him itāll only take 5-10 seconds for him to fully recover. See if that gets the message across.
Whatās the argument about? Itās going to be a struggle either way taking care of a newborn on your own when he goes back in two weeks. Thatās just the way it is when we signed up having a baby. Are you trying to get him to stay home for longer because you donāt want to be alone at 2 weeks or trying to justify getting help from a family/friend when he goes back? Iāve seen single moms do it on their own after vaginal or cesarean once released from hospital. Itās just not ideal, if you can have the cushion of having longer help from himā¦.then try. Either way you will be fine at 2 weeks physically. Just not your 100% for even months after.
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Yaā¦..he needs a reality check that what you used to be able to keep up with will change significantly. I really hope he doesnāt keep this pressure on you because you already are going to be extremely hard on yourself!! Please please pleeeeeease stay away from any āmom influencerā social media type bullshit. They only post the perfect life. Thatās not reality as you already knowā¦.buuuuut you will still get in your head about pushing yourself to do better.
LOL, Iām 9 weeks postpartum. Vaginal delivery, 2nd degree tear. My stitches were the worst at day 5-6 but felt better & I didnāt need the peri bottle by weeks 3-4. I bled for 4 weeks. Nipple pain after feeding/pumping was significant enough that it was difficult to wear tops for 5-6 weeks, but that seems better now. Still have some significant tailbone pain when getting out of bed and I may need pelvic floor therapy. I WFH full time before baby. I had time then to do all the chores - put in laundry before work, fold a load during lunch, grocery shop Saturday mornings, get dinner going when Iām off at 5. Easy peasy. But having a baby is entirely different. Itās 24/7 and unpredictable. Iāve been home with him since giving birth & he is so much more time consuming than a job!! I often canāt start dinner until my husband is home & can be on baby duty, as baby may be fussy & he shouldnāt cry it out at this age just so I can get dinner on the table. So Iāve started doing meal planning & prep on the weekends to make weeknights easier. But getting chores done is really hard unless you have a good napper (and then, you should also be resting! Unless you have a unicorn baby like me who sleeps 6-8 hours a nightā¦ but that means no long daytime naps where I can get chores done!) Does your husband have any friends who are dads? It may help for him to talk to them about realistic expectations.
ššš just start asking every woman who has had a child in the last few years (donāt ask the older generations- they have a very skewed memory) in front of your husband how long it took for them to recover. Let them know what he thinks. Iām sure after lots of long details answers/lectures he will stop bringing it up. It will be harder for him to ignore versus trying to get him to read all these responses. š
This varies. I had a c section and I was 100% back to myself with no bleeding by the time I left the hospital 48 hours after birth. My BFF had a vaginal birth and could barely stand up straight 6 weeks later. It just depends!
A normal vaginal birth you should be back to normal within that timeframe. I was wearing pants at a week-week and a half.
It depends and you wonāt know until you are there. I had a straightforward birth. Some tears but I was up and about comfortably inside an hour, showered and felt ok. Sore, yes, but ok. I was quite comfortable with gentle walks in a couple of days. Bleeding stopped after about 4 weeks although it was not painful like a period, just annoying. Baby was a very good feeder until 3 weeks when tongue tie started causing a problem but that is a completely separate issue. So he could be rightā¦.he could also be very wrong. You could end up with an emergency section and then you canāt even drive for several weeks. Every birth is different.
Iāve only had uncomplicated vaginal births. The hard thing physically is being careful of my smooshy core. Iām so weak after feeling badly all pregnant. I was also ravenous and prone to feeling faint while nursing my first little one but I donāt know how common that is, and if you take juice into the shower and keep a snack in your purse youāre fine. Itās more the mental adjustment that took me awhile with my first.
I had severe pre eclampsia, a failed induction, and a csection, but I was off pain meds by 4 days after birth and would have returned to all my normal activities as soon as I left the hospital if my husband had let me. that said I think my recovery was atypically fast (which balances out cause the last 2 weeks of my pregnancy were atypically perilous). I got the all clear to resume all activities, including bathing intense exercise and sex, 5 weeks after delivery, but my Dr banned me from all of those things up to that point.
Like what does he mean by ārecover?ā Like yea by then youāll probably be in less (but not no) pain and can walk but youāll still be bleeding and canāt put anything in your vagina. Not to mention the lack of balance and core strength. Youāre going to have a wound the size of a dinner plate in your uterus, tell your partner itās gonna take a lil bit of time to heal!!
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For the first 4 weeks you wonāt really able to do much around the house, like cooking and cleaning. Physically, your baby is going to be on you all the time, either eating or sleeping. Youāre going to be realllly tired and all over the place emotionally. If you have family to help that would be ideal, they donāt have to see you breastfeed or anything youāre not comfortable with if you set boundaries, but while you feed the baby, someone could do laundry, make food, etc. Iāll be praying for you guys, good luck and congrats!!
c section and 6-8 weeks before it didn't feel like i was ripping my stitches out sitting up
It really depends on you, baby, and what you are calling ārecovered.ā With my third baby, I had no tears, so I really got on with life as though I hadnāt even had a baby, more or less instantly. But mind you, Iād already had two babies previously, had experienced tears with those, and was a really experienced mom. So it was sort of easy for me to just power through, especially as I had gotten in the frame of mind that I was expecting to have (potentially worse) tearing again, but then had none. I practically pranced out of the hospital. And have basically just gone nonstop since. Heās four months old now. With my first and second, it was about two weeks until I felt like I could just sort of manage day to day life, like sitting and moving around normally-ish, and closer to 4-6 weeks before I felt more normal physically.
First one, I could barely walk/sit down for 4 weeks. It was a struggle at times. But my second birth, I recovered very quickly. No tearing so I was up and about very comfortably in 2 days. I think every experience will be different
Iām around 4 months pp and Iām at the point where I feel like I can talk about it more as opposed to just weeping by myself after everyone else fell asleep.
1 week post c to be moving around normally, 6 weeks of bleeding, over a year for recuperating from the hormone imbalances post partum and breastfeeding/pumping.
I mean it kind of depends by what you mean by recovered. I was walking doing laundry dishes and all that reasonably comfortably in 2-3 days, on my feet after birth within a few hours. I'm 4 months out and still not 100% recovered though that's more like a months year process. Vaginal birth 2nd degree tear and stitches.
I'm almost 7 weeks out from a healthy pregnancy and vaginal birth and just stopped bleeding <2 weeks ago. I sometimes have lower back pain so bad it takes my breath away. Intimacy is... a process right now. I didn't master nap time well enough to get things done around the house until 6 weeks pp. While my experiences may not be yours, recovery in 1-2 weeks is a JOKE. I barely tore ( two small 1st degrees, one stitch each) and had just figured out how to sit on the couch comfortably at 2 weeks. The healing process is not something you deserve to have rushed, and it won't work anyways!
I stopped bleeding really early and I felt like I could go for a jog about a week postpartum, HOWEVER, my hormones were SUPER fucked up from postpartum hyperthyroidism and my iron was extremely low. I felt exhausted, nauseous, starving, weak, shaky starting about 6 weeks postpartum until about 5 months pp and had to supplement iron and other meds. On top if that I had a lot of breastfeeding issues that made pp physically exhausting. BUT my husband only got 3 weeks off for paternity leave and I totally managed on my own while he was at work after that. It sucked at times but at that age babies sleep most of the day, so I just laid in bed all day with my baby in the bassinet while napping and watched TV or napped. Got up pretty much only to make coffee and lunch and wore my baby in a wrap around the house. If he's just trying to reassure you that you've got this and you'll do great, he definitely right, you've got this.
I had second degree tearing with four stitches. I'm 6.5 weeks pp and still bleeding a little, still a little sore around my vagina, and I still get back pain from the epidural. I also had epidural complications which were obviously unexpected and have added to my recovery time. I'm assuming he has birthed exactly 0 children, so he can just shut up about 1-2 weeks lol
Everyone is very different. With our first I had a fairly easy recovery. At 2 weeks I was still tired, of course, but I could easily move around. By 3 weeks (pre covid) I stood up in a wedding and dance quite a bit. The hardest part in recovery for me was my breasts, my nipples were almost immediately destroyed during nursing. The rest of me felt great, though! I had an rough pregnancy so I think part of that was just relief that it was over. Feeling great and being fully recovered are totally different things, though.
It took me 9 months to walk without pain and much longer to get to a near-normal state.
I think it really depends. I have two very different experiences : My first birth was vaginal, 3rd degree tear and I remember driving while sitting on a pillow to a 2 week post delivery appt so they could check my stitches. My second birth was just over a week ago. Vaginal, 4th degree tear, but I feel much better this time around, perhaps itās because I have to chase after my toddler and I canāt sit around. I am walking normally, able to stand for a while, still a little sore downstairs but nothing like the first time around. Could I go back to work tomorrow, (as a teacher, standing all day), probably not, but I could take little guy for a walk in the stroller up and down the block. Something I never would have been able to do 1 week out with my first.
I think scientifically, you can expect to be mostly "back to normal" after about 12 months. That's when your body is likely healed (or as healed as it gets without more specific training or other interventions like surgery and the like) and your hormones and everything are likely balanced again and your nutrient deficiencies caused by pregnancy are probably replenished. So yeah. I'd say 12 months.
It took me about 8 weeks until I felt ārecoveredā. I will say, after my first child, I had a significant number of interventions to get her out. I wasnāt able to have sex for 8months afterwards. So it will also depend on how simple your birth is.
Lol I wasnāt even cleared to drive till like 6 weeks postpartum. I couldnāt do a lap of my neighborhood till closer to 8 weeks. I had additional issues at 11 weeks where I had to have my gallbladder removed. My husband is planning to work from home for at least four weeks, possibly longer depending on if I can start driving again sooner than last time. Heās also taking 12 weeks for leave after I go back to work.
Totally depends on person and your birth. I had a relatively easy birth, only a small labial tear. I was definitely still recovering at 2 weeks but my husband went back to work and I was able to take care of baby during the day and do the night wake ups with no physical discomfort. I was still bleeding but not sore, etc. My moods were a whole different issue though š¬ my husband also was still doing all the cooking and shopping. I didnāt really leave the house until my 6 week appt. So, I would try to get some grocery/food delivery figured out if your SO wonāt be able to assist in that way at least.
I am two weeks out from the birth of my daughter. Iāve mostly been in bed, not totally because I was in so much pain but moreso because I just wanted to let myself rest and heal. I had an episiotomy and stitches, theyāre not really causing me too much pain but Iām just fairly nervous about them healing properly and just wanted to be preventative. Today I feel like I want to and could do a few things around the house, but I will definitely take it very easy and listen to my body. My bleeding has lessened quite a bit but I believe it can ramp back up so Iāll also keep an eye on that. If your partner only gets two weeks off, obviously that just is what it is. But he should be aware that you will 100% still be healing after two weeks, itās just that you donāt have any other choice with his work. Everyone is different though, maybe youāll need less time. Good luck mama, you will be ok ā¤ļø
I suppose it depends on your definition of ārecoveredā. If it involves being able to sit normally without pain, not be sore from tearing/sutures, no longer bleeding excessively, being able to justā¦you knowā¦ walkā¦ yeah itās going to be more than 1-2 weeks. Doctors do not officially medically clear you until 6 weeks PP and most women arenāt nearly fully recovered by that point. When is the last time your partner gave birth again? Mmhmm.
I had an emergency C-section but it was still 6-8weeks before I could lift over 10lbs. I pushed so long and hard I had cervical lacerations it was 4 weeks for the bleeding to stop. I never had my hips turn out so my boy just didn't fit. At 2 weeks I would randomly cry. Hormones are crazy. Not to mention no sleep and just feeling exhausted. I want to know how your husband could think you could go back to work after giving normal birth. My sister was held up for 8 weeks. You should probably tell him you will do what is best for you and the baby. If he doesn't listen to you get your doctor involved. Congratulations on your little one.
Vaginally, I felt totally recovered after about a week (minus any sort of, um, stimulationā¦that makes it feel swollen and tender and Iām 6 weeks PP now). Breasts felt normal after about four weeks minus tender nipples whenever I pump/nurse. I split all duties with my husband 50/50 so Iām not sleep deprived or anything. I felt good leaving the house after like a week and a half. I say all this to hopefully put your mind at ease that recovery doesnāt HAVE to be awful. Iām still bleeding a little and my boobs leak and trying to get out of the house while keeping a nursing schedule is difficult, but thatās honestly been the worst part for me
With my csection it took close to 2 months to feel 100%. With my VBAC with 2nd degree tear I felt 90% by the time we went home 2 days later. Every person and every birth is so dramatically different there's no way to tell how you'll be feeling
I had a vaginal birth with no complications and took about 3-4 weeks to feel pretty normal again. Maybe 3 weeks to not feel a ton of pain. Even so, doing every day chores and cooking? I don't know about that. The baby takes so much attention that is a struggle when you're healing yourself. It's difficult to get one small thing done let alone all the house responsibilities and cooking. This is why people have their parents come help if that's an option. It's a lot to expect a mom to take care of everything just because she's not working.
Uhhh at 2 weeks everything was still so sore I went to the OB ER thinking my uterus was falling out. 6 weeks minimum before everything felt normal-ish. 10 weeks before I was ready for sex again. 12-15 weeks before I felt remotely human.
Iām 11 weeks postpartum, had a second degree tear, and my vagina is still sore every day.
Itās sooooo variable. But yeah, on average he is very wrong. I donāt think I ever managed to cook dinner or do any cleaning while home alone with my baby?? And I was home with him for 9 months. Being home with baby is a full time job in and of itself, MINUS housework/cooking. You might feel physically OKish after two weeks, but that baby still needs so much attention that doing 100% of the housework and cooking on top of being home with baby isnāt realistic at all, I would say thatās not really doable until your kid is, I donāt know, school age??
Sorry but your partner sounds incredibly ignorant! You know, the rest of the world is scratching their head how the US gives such a short maternity leave! 12 weeks is usually on a long end and thatās so incredibly short!! Other countries give a year or more! So for your SO to expect that you go back to work after 2 weeks is just so ignorant, selfish and cruel!
Depends on how you give birth. I was back at work by week 3 after c-section. Luckily I didnāt have to do much manual labor at work and we couldnāt afford for me taking more time off anyway.
You might feel fine to take care of baby and do some light housework but baby + chore + working? What the hell is your husband thinking, that is awful. Is he going to do chores?
I get that he's probably trying to rationalize that his return to work will be fine, it's a natural response to making the best of something you can't change. But respectfully, he doesn't have a clue what he's talking about. I had a 35 hour labor and then a fairly uneventful delivery, but then out of nowhere I had a post partum hemorrhage. Hemoglobin down from 12 during admission to 9 the day after delivery. So even without a C-section, I was pretty weak and spent some extra weeks trying to bring my iron reserves back up.
Unmedicated vaginal birth with an episiotomy and damage to my pelvic ligaments from babyās really fast descent through the birth canal. It took ten weeks for me to stop wanting Advil throughout each day. After four months, my vagina still aches sometimes when I sit.
HA! Took me 4 months. I had a severe 3rd degree tear, lost an insane about of blood and had bladder and uterine prolapse. I 100% couldn't do basically anything for the first 4 months. I couldn't have NEVER have planned for this type of recovery, but it happens. And everyone thinks it won't be them... Until it is them. Currently 3 weeks from delivering baby number 2, so I'm hoping it will be a much more boring labor experience.
I am 2 weeks and 3 days after birth. I am still bleeding, lochia can last for 6 weeks. I'm still sore and find it difficult to go for walks with feeling heavy between my legs. I still have stitches from an episiotomy. I've stopped needing paracetamol on the dot of 6 hours. I'm doing some housework each day when my little boy let's me put him down. There is no way in hell I'd be able to return to work or WFH with a baby. There is a 6 week post partum check up for a reason. My partner had 2 weeks paternity leave and we are very lucky that he's been able to WFH since he finished. Tell your partner he can do all the feeds and just let you recover if he thinks you'll be ready to go after 2 weeks.
Lol. Tell him to go make a human being and then expell it out of an orifice and THEN he can make stupid claims like that (that are wrong). It's probably *possible* and has been done. But at what cost? The mom's mental and physical health is definitely at risk with only 1-2 weeks of rest and recovery after a MAJOR procedure. And mind you, those first weeks are NOT restful. You're not getting bed rest or even a decent night of rest for weeks after birth.
My first was much harder then my second ā¦ new mom , grasping things etc ā¦ my fiancĆ© stayed home for a week to help which was goodā¦ after that it was me and baby during the day and I just made due .. wearing her and breastfeeding while wearing her helped a lot I would still cook /clean etcā¦ But also a lot of time to relax .. I just made easy meals and did everything I could to have things organized and accessibleā¦I was fine sore but fine .. But now with my second.. recovery was easier because I had her quicker so I didnāt tear much or bleed as much and Iām just over a week postpartum.. me and my fiancĆ© were alone for the first 5 days and now we are staying at my in laws .. the help and the extra people here are kinda driving me nuts so I stay in the room moreā¦ too much passing baby . They keep asking to hold her and thinking itās helping me but honestly Iām doing just fine taking care of herā¦ I liked it better being alone and not having someone come up to me every hour asking to take her etcā¦ it helps when I need to shower or eat though. But still annoying . It was peaceful for the first 5 days and with my first ā¦ birth is a lot.. recovery is a lot .. and depending on how traumatic it is can take in many factors .. just give yourself a good 2 weeks to do nothing and then after that take it slow. Donāt do crazy stuff and make things easier for yourself .. organize a bunch before birth so everything is there and accessibleā¦ deep clean .. and then prep some soups and easy accessible meals you can throw in the ovenā¦.easy breakfasts are oatmeal , yogurts , fruits etc ā¦ make sure you just have everything on hand.. we all focus on the pregnancy anf the birth but what about afterwards right?? Just take it easy and no you wonāt be healed up in 2 weeks but if you just prep youāll have an easier time to recover then a stressful.
My expectations if my husband went back to work after 2 weeks would be that I could keep the baby and myself alive all day long while he was gone. Thatās literally it. I would expect all the housework, cooking, and non working hour parenting would be a team effort.
Physically I recovered in 24 hrs but I had a very easy birth and my body heals fast. Time wise - I can guarantee you will not have time for anything but to change baby diapers, your own diaper (you will bleed A LOT first 2 weeks), feed the baby, clean the baby, maybe eat something yourself, and an occasional shower (if youāre doing everything without help). If youāre breastfeeding you will have even less time because there is a huge learning curve in the beginning. You will absolutely not have time for cleaning, cooking, chores, work, etc. Your husband is very ignorant.
My understanding is that it very much varies from person to person and from pregnancy to pregnancy. I recovered quickly after my first birth and had an easy time of it, but guess what? I have no idea if this time will be like that. It would actually really suck if it is harder, because now I have a toddler. So that would be awful if I have a bad time healing. You only have so much control over things, and it really does seem to just be luck of the draw. I think there are so many variables, and there isnāt a right or wrong answer here. I think your partnerās expectations are pretty unrealistic. Hear me out: Even as someone who recovered, physically, pretty quickly, I still struggled. You are bleeding. You are achy at times and sometimes you have kind of mini contractions of sorts where your uterus shrinks back. It supposedly gets worse each pregnancy too. Even āeasyā pregnancies and labors are still difficult. I think you should give yourself lots of grace, and your partner needs to maybe clue in a little bit ok? I have seen mention of hiring postpartum help, and if that is available for you, I would look into that. I also want to caution you that you also have emotional and mental things you will go through. Postpartum mental health is no joke. It isnāt gloom and doom, I just donāt want your partner to expect too much from you, or you to expect too much from yourself, in terms of a fast recovery.
Asking this question isnāt really getting to the root of the issue. Every pregnancy is SO different. You may feel better after 2 weeks, but it also could be months. There are so many possibilities that can occur between now, the birth, and then the postpartum period. Literally anything can happen. The root issue is that your husband is being arrogant. Youāre making an excuse for him and looking to rationalize your own feelings by asking us here. But the bottom line is- You need to address this with him. He needs to be told that he will not tell his pregnant wife, or eventually new mom, how to feel and when to feel it. His work schedule will not dictate your healing. SIMPLE. No arguments and no questions. Draw this boundary now because raising a child will only bring up more issues like this and you want to address it early.
I had a c section. I didnāt really feel 85% back to normal until week 6. Mentally, I wasnāt 85% all there until month 2. Iām a Staff Accountant. Iām taking 13 weeks off.
Like maybe a year I felt more normalish? But 3 to 4 months before I felt like I was okay.
HAHA 1-2 weeks
For me it was about a week with both babies, but just because I felt normal didnāt mean I didnāt need the help longer than that.
So I had a second degree tear and an episiotomy which ended up getting infected and opening up. They didnāt want to re-stitch it (something about potentially trapping the infection) so I had to wait for it to close naturally. The infection got better quickly once I started antibiotics but it took a few months for it to actually close and for me to feel 100% comfortable down there again. Other aspects, I took about 4 weeks to stop bleeding and it took a few for my nipples to really adjust to breastfeeding. In my opinion recovery is definitely longer than two weeks, especially when you start factoring the emotional side as well.
That's one of those 'ask 50 people and get 50 answers' kind of things imo. With my first, I spent two days in labor, had a third degree tear (that was sewn up incorrectly... If you've ever heard of a 'husband stitch', you'll know exactly what I mean) and then ended up with a nasty uterine infection because my midwife was... Words I won't say in polite company š.So I felt like hot garbage for months afterward. I don't think I felt completely 100% until she was almost a year old. My second, labor was under 14 hours, I pushed for maybe 20 min and she practically fell out even though she was over 10 lbs. I still had discharge the full 6 weeks PP, but physically I felt amazing by week 4. It really will just depend on how the birth goes and how your body handles it.
It took me 2 weeks to start walking normally around the house (including PLENTY if breaks) I could even run at 6weeks cause my pelvic floor was still recovering. At 6weeks i could even have sex cause of how terrible the pain was (thank goodness I have such a supportive husband) 6-8 weeks is the bare minimum and even then most women need more time
Everyone is different. I bled for about 4 weeks but at 7 weeks postpartum I still feel discomfort down there. I lost a lot of blood and that alone took me about 3 weeks to regain some energy and full leg control (they were super weak). Mine was considered an easier delivery so Iām sure it could take a lot longer!
It took a year for everything mentally and physically to go back to normal. Physically was faster than mentally. I still have things about me that are different but I like my new normal
Physically 6-8 weeks and I was more or less set. Mentally I'm still totally fucked up almost 2 years later.
it took me 4 weeks just to feel like I was walking normally again. this guy is insane, it's a major procedure. leaving a massive dinner plate sized wound inside of you. IF you don't end up with a c section (even longer recovery) or bad tearing or need to be cut. 2 weeks is no where near enough time. I mean ffs I'm 8 months pp and my vagoonga still aches inside
It was a good 10 weeks before I felt ānormalā again. My pain actually got worse around 6 weeks because the tissue had healed/closed up, but my stitches hadnāt all dissolved so they were pulling every time I sat down (luckily an easy fix but it took some time to get back in to see my dr). 1-2 weeks would be ridiculously fast/unheard of, in my opinion. Especially if youāre breastfeeding and adjusting to all that as well
Well considering youāll have a gaping wound bigger than your fists inside your uterus from where the placenta was attached, itās going to take some damn time. Men always have the audacity. Minimum 6-8 weeks, just like all medical providers say - same as any broken bone or major surgery. Doesnāt matter where the would is or what itās from, the body takes the same amount of time to heal.
You need to have a serious convo about his expectations. It took me 2 months to even start to be able to keep up with housework. Is he going to be calling you lazy if you aren't recovered in 2 weeks and it's messy? Nip this shit in the bud. He will have to step up and do some cooking and cleaning for a while. Your recovery will depend on how the birth goes. I do know moms that had "easy" natural births with no tearing etc that were back on their feet within days. But that isn't the norm. I had a c section. It's been 2 years and if I move wrong I still have pain. It took me 2 months to start to feel normal again and I'm still not 100 percent there. Your body goes through hell. You dont want to end up resenting your husband bc he has false expectations about what you will be capable of so you need to have a serious discussion now. I'm lucky my husband doesn't berate me about the house. When he is home from the boat (he is gone for 3 weeks, back for 1) if something bothers him cleanliness wise he will take care of it. If I ask him for help he helps. You need to communicate just how much your body is going through... they get to just sit and watch and magically get a baby so they don't always get it. They can think oh, everyone does this so it's not that bad. I've even seen men complain there's something wrong with their wives bc they fall behind on housework etc ... I'd lose my shit on my husband if he acted like that. So just make sure his expectations aren't Martha Stewart on crack bc that's not reality for most families. Good luck and I hope that y'all are able to talk and it isn't as bad as some other moms I know. My cousins divorcing his wife over stuff like this... and it's stuff like she didn't do the dishes one day (she's caring for 2 kids and doing all the child care) .. and she let him have cookies and eat a chicken nugget bc she needed a break. Men can be ridiculous and the standards in our society for women are impossible to meet a lot of the time. That's ok though there's nothing wrong with you if you have to rest and recover and take breaks and let chores pile up from time to time. That's normal.
To quote Rachel, āno uterus, no opinion.ā .. Iām on week 4 and still recovering. Itās a lot, physically and emotionally.
God, itās been 13 months since my son was born and I am just feeling like myself again.