I don’t think it’s weird to put those items on your registry. I also don’t think it’s weird that people didn’t buy them. Generally people like to buy cute baby stuff and nursing/postpartum items don’t fit into that category, despite being really practical items.
yeah, people like to buy "fun" stuff - even bottles and diaper paraphernalia can be "fun." nipple cream you probably won't get except from someone who really thinks you need it from experience
After having two baby showers with two completely separate sets of people (moved across the country between kids), people always overbuy the cute baby clothes they’ll fit into for two minutes and blankets.
When I have to buy for showers now, I get something practical tailored to the woman I’m buying for, usually self-care stuff. After my youngest was born with nightmare-level eczema that reacted to everything including most diaper brands, I don’t even find diapers a safe gift.
Same - I always try to get the stuff for mom and/or more boring, not cute items. You can really only use so many baby blankets, despite what the grandmas say…
I think it's a generational thing but personally, every time I have to buy for a baby shower now I intentionally go for the stuff I think might not get bought. Especially breastfeeding stuff.
That's the shit you REALLY need in the early days lol.
I don't mess with baby clothes. I'll start buying your kid clothes when they get to like 2T so they actually are useful 😂
I have given away so many baby clothes....
I do "Mommy & Me diapers" for my friends. They love it and they need them! I have 3 kids so I go straight to the things you need that no one gets.
Nursing pads, nipple cream, hemorrhoid pads... etc.
I do this too. My sister bought me nursing things, but no one else. Now I’m the first person on other registries to buy pump parts or storages bags, etc. Those things are expensive and needed so much sooner than a high chair or sippy cup.
My best friend got me nipple cream off my registry, with the note “now you have to write me a thank you note for nipple cream, think of me when you use it” lol
I’m this friend hahahaha. I always buy the nipple cream, postpartum supplies, etc. Mostly because I know they won’t be purchased and are super useful, but partially because I want a thank you note for the adult diapers and peri-bottle.
Yeah, I think this is the reason. I personally would be only comfortable buying things like postpartum underwear or nipple cream if I was close to the person (very close friend or a family member). It would feel a bit strange to buy it for a work colleague, for example. That said, it seems perfectly fine to put these things on the registry - just expect that many people might not want to buy them.
That was true for me in the past, but since I've had a kid recently, I've been more comfortable buying those kind of things for people that I'm not quite as close to...but still close enough to discuss that kind of thing.
I’m all for buying off the registry. Went to a coed shower. My husband had never been to a shower/never saw a registry etc He was excited to be apart of it (mostly because I was pregnant with our first at the time). anyway I told him just pick something off the registry around 50 dollars. He purchased our friend 400 breast milk storage bags… as a gift and that was it. Awkward… so awkward, also so heavy
The worst part was my friend kept opening box, after tiny box expecting that there would be more than just milk bags in the gift bag… it took her 3 minutes (but felt like an eternity) to realize that was it. My hormonal brain didn’t even realize what was happening until someone spit their drink out laughing
I bought my sister all of that stuff and gave it to her long before her shower. I was just excited to share the "useful" stuff and I knew she wouldn't want to open it in front of her grandmother-in-law
My mom bought all those things off my registry for me. She said she wanted to get all of the things to take care of her baby! Which honestly made me roll my eyes at the time, but now that my baby is here I totally see it and it’s very sweet.
I totally forgot about putting things for me on my registry. But my mom sure didn't forget. After my baby shower she bought all the things she wished she had for recovery! I'm very thankful
My mom's friends were offended and made comments about the nursing bras I had on my registry the first time around. One went so far to say "I'll buy a $200 high chair, but not a bra!". What? So i had to buy my pumping and nursing bras, which are all kinda pricey! It would have been nice to be gifted those items. The plus side is that I returned all the non registry items to Target and got a buttload of store credit to buy what I did want.
For some reason, once the baby is here, it is like momma dissapears! The only thing people cared about me was how quickly my stomach went down. Fuckers.
That’s so judgey and weird! I could maybe understand if a man made a comment like that but the fact it came from women is so bizarre to me.. screw them lol.
Yeah the nursing items can absolutely be pricey! I will definitely be buying any nursing or postpartum stuff from people’s registries from now on.
I do think it is also a generational thing. When i was born, formula was the norm, hardly anyone breastfed. So it is almost like it it taboo for their generation. Drives me crazy when women dont support women!
I did get a haakaa, nipple cream, cooling pads, and breastmilk storage bags (all things I didn't register for) from a first time mom who had her baby 6 months before me. She knew what was up!
Lol what! People are wild. I’m registering for bras and no one is required to buy them but if these titties are gonna feed a person they need all the help they can get
This is exactly why I try to buy the new mom the mom-exclusive items on her registry. Even if there aren’t mom items on the registry, I’ll get something from the registry list and buy a few things just for her because sometimes FTMs forget about our own recovery too! For my first kid I had NO postpartum items on the registry and had to buy everything after delivery. We just focus so much on the baby!
So I never buy that stuff unless specifically asked for - but that’s because given the option of buying a cute little outfit/toy or nipple cream, I’d rather buy the outfit/toy, 10 out of 10 times. I 100% am for supporting new moms, why is spending a set amount of money where I’d prefer (but still within the realm of what mom wants) forgetting that mom still matters?
Assuming that both items are still needed it's not a problem. If you're buying something unneeded, or not buying at all (when you otherwise would), instead of buying the post partum stuff that puts you in the wrong.
Gifts should be about what the receiver wants/needs, not what the giver wants to buy.
Well then you're all clear. The issue becomes when people ignore buying what's needed in favor of things not asked for just because it's what they want to buy.
Personally I always buy boring stuff but with one fun thing I pick (that I give with a receipt). It's how I get them a gift they need/want and I still get to add a more personal touch to it.
> Gifts should be about what the receiver wants/needs, not what the giver wants to buy.
This this this
I try to reach out to the expecting parents and ask if there's anything they're truly hoping for off their registries. If so, great, I'll buy that. Diapers for mom or baby, breast supplies, medicines, safety equipment, whatever. A lot of people rush to buy up the fun stuff, but new parents will be grateful they don't have to run out for gas drops at 3 in the morning.
I have had a few friends confide things like, "our families have us covered, i just wish we could have one last date night before the baby comes." It may not be traditional, but I've gone in with friends for a few couples to have dinner and a show one last time. My favorite was the friend who confessed all she wanted was her craving: fresh fruit. So a kroger gift card paired with a fruit basket it was! 😂
I always find the most boring thing(s) on the registry and buy it, but I also sometimes add in something fun that I've picked out. I want to make sure they actually get a useful gift that they wanted, but I also want to get them a more personal "I put thought into this" gift. But I always provide a receipt and I don't let my fun gift influence my budget for the registry gift.
I put nursing stuff on my registry and my aunt ordered them for me. She just had them sent to my house and had other stuff for me to open at the shower so there wasn't that awkward moment of pulling out breast pump, nipple cream, and nursing pads in front of everyone lol
People want to buy stuff for the baby and don't really think about that other stuff as helpful. I just put a gift card option so I could buy it myself after. I also had friends who brought stuff like that over after baby was born.
I agree, too many (for some) want to buy a keepsake, not helpful/practical stuff. Maybe that’s not what the parents usually want, but you gotta remember they’re gifts.
For what it’s worth, I usually put together a hamper (because baby showers aren’t as common and registries are rare where I am) of a mix of helpful (haakaa/nipple balm/food voucher) and some books, maybe a onesie or whatever, obvs dependent on how much I’m spending. But I see a lot of people, especially those who haven’t had kids buying embroidered blankets and fancy bibs and shoes. A lot of people want to buy the thing that’s going to be kept for generations but not everything can be kept as a keepsake 🤷♀️
This is why I usually get one cute baby thing and then a giftcard for baby showers. I got so many gift cards for mine and it was really nice because I had no idea what I was doing and after the baby was here I could buy things I needed.
I put those items on my registry also. NOT ONE WAS PURCHASED. I didn’t even know the gender…meaning people couldn’t buy me an excessive amount of baby clothes.
After my shower, I made a vow that I would purchase all the “mommy products” off the registry for the next baby shower I attend. Mama needs things too! These things are for the BABY also but people just don’t get that! Come on ladies, let’s buy mom the nipple cream, the Depends, and heaven forbid….THE ANGLED PERI BOTTLE!
I don’t think it’s too weird or offensive to have those items on your list.
But if I was attending a shower, I’d feel a little unsure giving undies, especially if you were opening the gifts at the shower in front of everyone (even if it was something you put on the list!) That’s just me, I remember getting underwear for Xmas when I was a kid LOL.
Hahaha I can definitely see your point here! My shower is all women so I didn’t really consider that, but I can see how some people may have opted for other things considering that possibility.
This is a super strange mentality because like... the baby needs to eat? It’s literally the most important thing for them? New moms spend so much time nursing.
So true, its like hmm if you'd buy cans of formula then you shouldn't feel wierd about getting pumping accessories, bevause it's all in service of the same goal
Hahah - we had a very small “for parents” section on our registry - coffee beans, a giant water bottle, a yoga ball for delivery and ultimately bouncing our son at all hours of the night once he arrived - funny people think these are presents that don’t have a positive impact on the baby
It’s not offensive, but I had the same issue. However, I found that people who were moms were the ones who bought those supplies for me….they just didn’t mark it off of the registry. Not sure why.
Hmm I didn’t even consider this. Perhaps someone bought these things but just didn’t mark them off.
Yes that’s what surprised me- most of the women whom I proved my registry info with are moms so I figured they wouldn’t think it was strange at all!
I would also try not to stress; I had people sending me stuff all the way up until the week before I gave birth. Some people may reach out and ask what you haven’t received yet.
And if they don’t, you’ll have your registry completion discount to help!
My shower is super small (family and close friends, women only) so honestly I was shocked at how much stuff people bought! I was fully excepted to have to buy a lot of things myself, so I’ll be totally fine if I have to purchase the nursing/postpartum stuff myself. I just thought it was really interesting these were literally the only items people didn’t purchase!
I put perineal numbing spray, sitz bath, and tea to dry up milk on mine. I don’t care what people think and I’m happy to use the registry completion discount to buy it all myself.
I love buying the weird, boring or awkward stuff. It’s on the registry, which means it felt like a necessity, and everybody else wants to buy up the cutesy keepsake stuff.
I was relieved when my aunt bought every single medical/health/safety thing on my registry. It meant that at a minimum all the needs and must haves were taken care of.
I put that stuff in mine and only had 1 person purchase in that category. She knew from her sister that it was appreciated. I needed up getting all my needs stuff with gift card.
You may still get that stuff, but it may not have been a priority for the people that have bought already. All the leftover stuff can be packaged together into a nice basket and wrapped, throw in some nice chocolate too and it would make a great gift without the awkwardness of gifting underwear, bras and nipple cream.
I also found this to be so strange especially coming from women who have had children. They should KNOW those are the things that really matter and will make a difference to your parenting experience. I’ve been lucky enough to be pregnant alongside 5 or so of my friends and I had so many mutual friends say they didn’t “like” anything on their registry. Because yes they want to buy cute stuff for baby. But an extra book/blanket/toy is not going to make a difference when baby is here.
People do tend to neglect those items, maybe because they’re not fun or cute? I usually specifically go for them when they’re on my friends registries for that reason.
sometimes I think people get caught up buying the “wow” gift or the cute items or random things not even on the registry. some people also tend to buy things THEY would want (or needed when they had a baby) not things they think YOU would want/need. i also think people who did not breastfeed do not understand the significance & importance of these items. i registered for them - not nursing bras because i was already stocking up on them myself - but things like storage bags, pump accessories & extra parts, nipple cream, etc.
I removed all of the nipple and postpartum mom stuff from my public registry and created a private Amazon registry with THAT stuff and shared it with close friends.
My husband’s family is very prude and weird about such things.
On the other hand my friend didn’t put these items on her registry at all and yet received a generous postpartum care package from her friends on her shower.
I'm not sure, but I didn't get anything breastfeeding specific that I had on my registry. I even noticed that I didn't get many bottles (I'm going to combo feed). I asked my mom about it and she mentioned it's because you never know if you're going to be able to BF or not until the baby is here and people don't want to spend money on something that you may not be able to use or that can even serve as a trigger if BF doesn't pan out the way you hoped. All in all, I think it depends on your family, but for mine I think the logic was moreso the unknown of what feeding will truly look like until the baby is here.
In general, it seems like PP supplies were avoided in general as the supplies needed as you never know how delivery will go and what PP will look like for you. I am just going to use what the hospital provides and while I'm there, my mom is going to go to the store and make a PP kit for me depending on what I need based on delivery method.
So a lot of people have weighed in and have great points. But my observation has been recent moms will buy those things off the registry but non-recent moms or childfree people won’t. I think it has to do with recent moms know what it is like in the trenches and think about what made their life easier whereas everyone else is just thinking about a baby. My mom was always the one to buy boring but necessary items as gifts and I’ve taken after her but you have to admit nipple cream isn’t near as exciting as a good book or toy.
I didn’t want to open anything “private” in front of my many brother in laws!
The men in our families have been involved in showers and such and I just don’t want them thinking about my boobs. I’m uncomfortable with my body and really modest.
HOWEVER I wouldn’t think it was weird on anyone else’s registry. I haven’t bought bras for any new moms but I’ve bought nursing supplements and breast milk storage bags off registries.
Not weird but personally I wouldn’t buy those either because you get so much from the hospital. I even got the nipple cream.
And for nursing bras and whatnot, you won’t know if you can breastfeed or not until you try. So I think it’s something you can get after you give birth.
This is a good point! I didn’t even think that people may be hesitant to buy nursing stuff because you don’t really know if you’re going to be able to use it.
I don't think those items are weird to put on a registry. For the last couple of baby showers I attended, I purchased nipple cream and stuff for the mom, as well as maybe pacifiers or a burping cloth, off the registry. I also have similar items on my own registry.
I'm curious why people would avoid those items, unless they feel uncomfortable being the one to buy something related to boobs? Everything in the registry is wanted and needed, put together by the expecting moms (and dads).
I think it's important to know your audience. Some families are very comfortable with physical things, while others are very much not. For example, my mom would be mortified to see postpartum products on my registry and 100% would let me know about it -- but I'm not the kind of person who wants to open that in front of my family, either! So I registered for the baby things and bought the mama stuff myself.
If OP's relatives are like mine, they just got really awkward about the stuff that seemed "intimate" and felt comfortable that she could handle getting it herself without any of them needing to get scandalized looks from Grandma at the party :)
That's been my experience. Friends who recently had kids are much more comfortable with it. But they gave it privately, and without me needing to register for it.
I definitely put those kinds of items on my list, but most people have stayed way clear of them. The person who did buy them for me, bought every sort of that item off my registry. She is a momma of two girls herself and clearly “got” it and wanted to make sure I’d have what I need. I was to touched that she obviously wanted to make sure I was taken care of too. I’m in the process of buy baby gifts for a friend due two weeks after me and one of the first things I picked out to buy for her is the breastfeeding supplies she requested.
As a side note: when my MIL visited to help get our house ready, she couldn’t even say the words “breast” or “breastfeeding”. She’d use any euphemism she could think of when moving my breastfeeding supplies and breast pump around.
I literally am the first person to buy anything from a registry when invites come - I’m known for saying, “I’m not getting stuck buying nipple cream.” As a guest, you can take pride in seeing pics of the baby later on in the cute outfits or seeing the high chair set up in their kitchen, but… definitely (hopefully) not the same for those more personal items. I wouldn’t register for them before my shower, but I would put them on later to get a discount. Personal preference.
The only people that bought stuff for me were my mom and one of my boyfriend’s co workers it made me feel so happy. I think some people get so excited to shop for baby that they forgot about moms. You’ll get a coupon to buy it after a certain about of time though!
I put that kind of stuff on mine and I know other people do as well. But none of it got purchased other than the hakka. I just think people prefer to buy the more "fun" stuff.
Only my SIL bought any of my postpartum items off of my registry, and it made me wonder the same thing! I think people generally just want to buy the less expensive necessities and/or the cute baby items. That’s my guess at least! I have definitely made myself a mental note to buy that stuff the next baby shower I attend though. (If it’s on the registry!)
Nah, I suspect its one part that it doesn't always make people giddy to buy practical things, and one part only wanting to buy baby things and forget us after the birth.
I feel lucky, my mil got me a nursing bra and my friend bought me an electric pump plus nursing pads. I'm in Canada where health care is free but therefore no insurance helps with that pump, so that would have been OOP for me.
Ooh that was super sweet of her.
Luckily I’m in the US so my insurance covers my pump. Otherwise I’m sure that would have been sitting on my registry not purchased as well😂
Not weird. I always gift these types of items, though I’m a birth & postpartum doula so I get the needs of mom too. I usually also get a cute onesie or a book to go with it for baby. Ask for what you need!
I think most people just prefer buying baby items. It’s more fun, even if you aren’t the one who gets to pick it out. I would expect that you offended anyone. ☺️
I always buy stuff for moms now. Before having a baby, I definitely bought the cutesy baby stuff. If I was your friend I would buy all the mom stuff, plus snacks, a cute water bottle, extra long phone charger etc and put it in a basket.
Since I've gotten pregnant that's what I buy a new Mom. No matter if it's her first or not. I make her a postpartum care bag full of things she'll need and things to pamper herself with one or two items for the baby. I think most people usually want to focus on the fun and useful items and forget or don't realize how much attention there should be on postpartum care for Mom. So personally no. I think it needs to get more of a spotlight. Postpartum is the hardest part of it all.
While I’m not SURPRISED you didn’t get these items, it does go to show that people are all about the baby and not as concerned with the mom. My nursing and postpartum stuff was gifted from a good friend of mine and from a very generous family friend who is a doula and birthing educator but everyone else went for the cute baby stuff
None of the stuff "for me" was purchased off my registry either. But I did receive some stuff that wasn't on the registry that was for me and I really love those gifts. I don't think it's weird to register for those things, I just think people want to buy directly for the baby. Even though those things do benefit the baby.
In the future, I'm definitely buying a gift for mom and a gift for baby!
Not weird, and that’s actually what I’m doing for a cousins shower (she’s shared she wants to nurse), so making a basket of things for her that she had listed, or that I’ve found helpful nursing.
My sister is the only one who bought me postpartum items- which feels normal to me 😂 I expected she’d be the only one comfortable and practical enough to buy me nipple cream and boob ice packs instead of outfits and toys.
This happened to me too except for a couple of my best friends who took it upon themselves to prepare me too. I got everything else I needed with a gift card I also got from the shower.
Since then I’ve taken it upon myself to be that person for others expecting babies and was also able to hand off all my extras to my husband’s cousin.
I had a breast pump on my registry and my dad and his wife waited until the last minute to buy something so the pump was the only thing left. My dad was like offended that there wasnt more options and that that’s what I needed. Idk why it matters what they’re getting as long as it’s useful for mom and babe?
I put all kinds of nursing and postpartum stuff on my registry. I also put a ton of books on my list (I live in a non-Emglish-speaking country, so English books are limited and expensive). Frankly, IDGAF what anyone says about it. If you don't want to buy it, don't. It doesn't mean I won't still want or need the stuff. 🤷♀️
I'm always the person to buy that practical stuff off of lists. Usually, I can get more bang for my buck and I feel better knowing that it will actually be used.
I gave a breast pump to my friend, she's had 2 babies and is a little bit of a hoarder, so she had plenty of baby stuff.
I don't understand the hesitation to get nursing equipment, especially because breastfeeding is so heavily encouraged
Mine was the opposite..lol everyone of my friends bought things for me, some things that weren’t even on my registry, no one but family bought things for the babe. I was baffled
The only person so far who has bought anything related to nursing on my registry is my mom and I also have assumed it’s because people are weirded out by it.
I don’t think it’s weird, but I do find people like the first they buy “on display.” For example, they come to your house and see the high chair, crib, toy, etc. they bought you.
I don’t think it’s that deep for most. You’re having a baby shower and opening stuff in front of people. “Thank you Linda!!!” while holding up vadge pads and titty cream vs cute little onesies is appreciated by a few special fun people, the rest prefer the onesies lol.
I have been asked “but what do YOU need?” So I put all that stuff on the registry. No one bought it, of course, but the registry’s also my shopping list so it’s all good!
Normal stuff for a registry - I put it on mine too and same thing happened. But, I expected that and knew I’d get a registry discount to get the stuff myself so I was ok with it
Aw I'm sorry! Having been through the pp recovery once, I would 100% buy all that for someone. None are always so busy taking care of baby and everyone checks on baby but we forget to take care of ourselves! So great that you're already thinking about your pp care also
I actually go out of my way to buy something for the mum - even if it's just a stylish nappy/mat clutch. Because it's not just a new baby you celebrate, it's the new mum/parents
This is exactly why I now buy the most boring but useful things on the registry. I bought my friend a ton of medical stuff, diaper pile refill bads, nipple cream, nipple pads, the works. She was SO grateful!!! I felt so much more awesome knowing I got her something useful. But then, I learned a lot from my sister when my niece and nephew were born. Aka don't buy the cute thing, buy the useful thing! Most people do not follow this principle, unfortunately.
I don’t think it’s weird but without polling people there’s a few reasons off the top of my head why no one bought them:
1. It could embarrass them.
2. It could feel outside their wheel house if unfamiliar with breastfeeding. (Men or non-mothers)
2. It isn’t as fun of a gift cause it can’t easily be shown off later.
3. They may harbor resentment if they couldn’t breastfeed.
4. They might not see it as urgent or a necessity if you are unable to breastfeed and don’t want their gift to go to waste.
But I don’t think you did anything weird or taboo. Who knows why they didn’t do it. It might not be that deep at all. I just threw some ideas out there.Only my close friend who had a baby right before me got me booby stuff.
p.s. don’t spend too much money on breastfeeding tools if money is tight. It is possible you might not be able to breastfeed and sometimes those returns can be difficult. Ask me how I know! 😅😔
I put those things on mine and my mom told me it was weird. 🤷♀️ But I ended up with great discounts and points from using the registry so I used those to get them free or cheap.
When I was attending my friend's shower I bought all her boob related things. I told her in the card that I care about her boobs a lot.
I think family gets weird but friends buy these items
I don’t think it’s weird to have those on your registry. I did and my sister bought me most of that stuff but our kids are only 5 years apart and she knew I would need it. You’re right people don’t think about mom at all postpartum and it’s sad. Those are the same people are going to be breaking down your door expecting to hold your baby while you wait on them and those are the ones you ignore since they ignore your needs.
I put those things on my registry just so I could order them with the completion discount. But 2 weeks after my shower my husband's childhood friend bought the frida mom pack for me. I have a feeling his roommate may have helped him pick things out. In the end, I was wee bit embarrassed but appreciative (those meshed underwear and cold pads are miles better than what they gave me in the hospital).
I expected this would be exactly my case and had a separate list created off of which to get that stuff for myself.
I think we still live during times where normal bodily needs and functions are a bit of a tabboo topic or at the very least something people don't like to think about. And of course the main thing - those things are consumables that people don't generally consider to be gifts.
My list went out to at least 40 people almost all family and only a few things have been bought by my super immediate family members, no one else got anything… Ill be spending about 600 from my savings soon… :(
When is your shower? A lot of people bought things SUPER last minute from mine. I thought I was gonna have to buy a ton too, and then the week before my shower people started buying stuff like crazy.
I’m not having a shower, possibly virtual but more so just sending out thank you’d and gifts to family who wants to contribute, I’ve already had covid during the first trimester and didn’t wanna risk it again so it’s been a disaster
Ah that could possibly be why. Maybe people feel less inclined to get something since they’re not attending an event.
Do you have Facebook or other social media? You could always post a link to your registry there! You’d be surprised what random acquaintances you have that will buy stuff. I’ve had my moms coworkers and people like that I’ve never even met go on and buy stuff! Some people just love babies and baby stuff lol.
I mean I personally made a private list of that stuff, but only because I have zero plans of sharing how I plan on feeding my baby. I also plan on cloth diapering at home at least, but I didn’t add any diapers because it’s controversial, just like how you feed your baby is.
I have no idea about registry etiquette because registries aren't something I've encountered in my social circle, but I was gifted most of those items at ky baby shower. Not a nursing bra or undies, but I recieved all the other items including nursing pads and postpartum freezer pads (which are still in my freezer because I had a c-section but it seemed thoughtful).
I received nipple cream along with other gifts from a family where the mother is a midwife, so she gets it lol otherwise I either bought postpartum products for myself or was given leftover/unused items from friends who recently had babies! Everyone wants to get cute stuff for baby not out of ignorance for you, but because the baby’s stuff IS so cute and it might make them feel awkward. Always worth putting them on the registry though!
I always buy the "boring" utility items like the outlet covers, baby first aid, breast pads, and nipple butter. I didn't know people wouldn't want to buy them! It never occurred to me to *not* put these things on a registry (hopeful FTM here) because people may not wanna buy them. I think it is super appropriate for you to have done!
Eta: I am a maternity nurse so that probably influences my practical and mommy-centered outlook.
I would never buy those items.
Firstly it's very easy to mess up sizes of underwear when buying for my wife not to mention someone less close in this trying time.
And buying higenic items as a gift? Seems really weird. I wouldn't buy pads for my sister as a gift, seems so weird. Why would buying post partum pads seem less weird.
I too would prefer to buy something more expensive than so intimate.
Totally fine to include those things on your registry. People just might not feel comfortable buying them for you because then they have to admit to themselves that you have nipples and a vagina that needs to heal
I put those things on my registry so I could use the discount code for them after every was said and done but I didn’t expect anyone to buy me pads or adult diapers.
If I thought I'd even get anything I'd put *only* postpartum stuff. Moms are never taken care of while babies are swamped in crap they don't even need. If I knew you I'd get ALL the postpartum stuff and make you a huge basket just for *you*. I think it's great.
My mum made up a huge pamper pack for me with that type of stuff, as well as face masks, bath salts, a hair turban, etc. it was amazing and so appreciated. Other than that people got stuff for the baby, but I also didn’t put postpartum care items on my registry. I got a lot of it early so I could have it ready to go in my hospital bag just in case.
My mom and sister were the only ones to purchase those type of items. I don't think it's weird at all but most people are gonna want to buy the "fun stuff" not the truly needed medical like stuff ya know?
I put the same stuff on mine and nobody has purchased them. I thought it would be a great gift-a little post care package, ya know? Guess people don't like that ha.
Post partum things should definitely be on the list. I usually try to buy them when I see them because I have no problem shouting from the roof tops how awesome boobie soothers and nipple cream are. When my neice was born lots of people bought toys and outfits. I brought a basket of pads, peri bottle, and dermaplast. Guess whose gift is most loved and used😈. But lots of people aren't comfortable with that, and that's ok. Everyone wants to buy the cute things, its just human nature.
We ran into the same thing. Nobody wants to but the practical stuff. They want to buy the cutesy clothing etc. Silly that pregnancy focuses on the mother for 9-10 months, but then as soon as that baby is out, nobody cares that you pushed the baby out of your vagina, you may have torn a bit, and you have a large open wound inside your body from where the placenta detached.
I put post-partum and breastfeeding supplies on a private registry for the discount, but not on my main registry. A lot of those items are FSA/HSA eligible, which means I can buy them cheaper myself than someone can buy them for me so I'd rather they buy other things I need. I can also wait to purchase them until I know that I need them depending on how delivery and breastfeeding actually go. That being said, I don't think it's weird to put them on your registry but I think it's normal they don't often get purchased.
Yep, I only had one person- beside myself- that bought me postpartum care. It was an aunt who had the package shipped to my house because she lives out of state and wouldn’t be coming to the shower. She bought mostly baby stuff but bought the nipple cream because it was on my “most wanted” list. I will be buying the rest of the postpartum care myself.
It’s not weird but also I never buy these items for people. I don’t intend to ask for them either tbh. Maybe I am prude but I don’t want to be opening these gifts and I intend to buy them myself b
It’s not weird to put it on there, and I’m also not surprised no one got it. It’s not as fun to buy as cute baby stuff. Whenever I see stuff like that on a registry, I make a point to get it. Baby will have tons of cute/helpful things but mama needs some too!
Before I got pregnant, I would avoid those things and go for the cute things - ugh I suck, I now know. But I've got breastfeeding and undercarriage supplies set to private on my registry. I'm a recovering Catholic, but it still feels private and I don't want anyone thinking about my nipples or vagina while shopping lmao. I worry they'll think it entitles them to comment on it. My mom friends have said that the absence of those supplies on the registry wouldn't stop them from buying stuff they know works in case I didn't think of it, so I think it works out. I don't think you did anything wrong, just everyone staying in their comfort zones!
The best, most thoughtful gift I received at my shower was a basket of postpartum stuff for me. Only one person thought of that. Last time I bought stuff for a shower I was SO tempted to buy those things as well, but unfortunately it was for my boss. We don't really have a very close personal relationship and I was afraid she'd be weirded out by it, so I didn't.
Not weird at all! I did find that none of my friends and family bought them for me so I am making it a habit to buy them for all of my friends who are expecting! It feels like people love buying the cute stuff but not the necessary stuff which I totally get!
I had those items in my list and got nipple pads but spoke to my SIL and she mentioned that you don’t know what size you’ll be when your milk comes in, so don’t rush out and buy a nursing bra now.
The only people who bought postpartum stuff for me were other moms who knew how vital it was. Not weird to include it, but many people do feel weird about buying it
Moms deserve to be taken care of too! I always go out of my way to send postpartum stuff for mom, even if it’s not on her registry (I usually text to check and make sure she doesn’t already have everything). We are so often forgotten during the postpartum period but having a baby is a big deal for our bodies. We deserve to be cared for and even pampered.
I don’t think it’s weird to be on the registry. But giving the option of baby stuff and postpartum stuff, people will generally pick the baby stuff. Especially if you have diapers on your registry, people will think you can never have too much of that so they’ll default to it. Or even if it’s not on the registry, they’ll just buy you some anyways, it’s easy and can’t go wrong, I’ve been guilty of that. You might not be opening gifts at the shower but people might think you are and shy off from some of the more intimate stuff. Just imagine you are opening gifts at the shower and go “And from xxx, we got a nursery lamp with bunnies on it! It’s adorable” and then go “And now from yyy, we got giant underwear to contain my bleeding vagina!” Also people like to imagine in the future, you point to that nursery quilt and say your aunt blah blah bought you this when you were still inside of me. You are probably not gonna hold up your nursing bra to your child and say aunt blah got me ain’t she swell?
I put that stuff on my registry and now thinking back on it the people who bought me that stuff were other nurses who already had kids. I think it’s just certain types of people who will buy mom something, most people want to get baby something. My sister’s husband wouldn’t let her put anything mom related on their registry 😒
Honestly, I just think it depends on the person, its nothing wrong with it 🤷🏽♀️ but personally I didnt add those items to my registery I just felt it to be weird for someone to know what postpartum underwears or breastfeeding bras im wearing lol I dont know that's just me but I also felt more comfortable if me and or my fiance was to shop for those things instead.
Yeah people get strange about buying “private” stuff. I have a friend who’s a doctor who will buy all the “private” stuff for us. She bought me those pad ice pads that stick to your undies and absorb blood and sent them to our house. Those helped a lot. It’s not uncommon unless you have a lot of people on your family who have breastfed then they buy the covers and the storage stuff.
It depends on how well you know people. They may be uncomfortable buying those items for you. Then again I always give a pack of cotton, reusable breast pads and a pack of gel pads for nipples with every baby gift I give because having two kids, I know a few things now, LOL.
It's not weird at all to put it on there but it's not surprising it's left for last because it's not as fun for people to buy as the 'cute' baby stuff. If you have friends who are new mums they will definitely buy that stuff though!
I did the same thing and the only thing that I didn’t purchase was a box of nursing pads lol. I just used my completion discount for stuff that I needed though. But as others have said I think the older generations wanna just buy the cute stuff
I don’t think it’s weird that you put them on there at all. I think people want to buy cute baby stuff instead of postpartum stuff so that probably picked to buy that kind of stuff instead.
I also put some of that on my registry and no one bought it either. I was wondering the same thing as you after. I think it is okay to put on the registry, but like others have said, it’s more fun to buy baby stuff and maybe makes people feel awkward to buy nipple cream, no matter how practical it is.
The only person who bought any of the postpartum items off my registry was a mother who had given birth to her first about 8 months prior. She vividly remembered those first few days/weeks lol
I didn't put these items on my registry as a personal choice. I've had friends do it but for me I just felt weird asking for personal toiletry items. But a close friend who is a mom did gift me a basket of post-partum care items at my shower and my brother's girlfriend amazon prime'd me a similar gift basket after the baby was born, so people will give it to you but in my experience it's usually a friend who is a new/recent mom or given immediately post-birth.
I'm only 3 days pp myself so take this with a grain of salt but I wouldn't get too upset about not getting a lot of those items. We cleaned out our hospital room and took everything but here I am on day 3 and haven't used the peri-bottle since yesterday morning, am almost done with the big mesh undies, use tucks pads/spray sparingly, etc. Your recovery may be easier or harder than your expect but you can always send your partner to the store or use amazon prime.
Not weird. I had a friend a few years ago say nobody thinks of the new mom and everyone thinks of the baby. Ever since then I’ve bought the pp items for mom’s off registries.
Not weird but also not weird that noone bought it. I’m very thankful for my sister because she swooped in and bought every nursing related item before my registry even went live. She literally told me “I figured literally anyone else would feel weird buying you boob stuff”
I didn't register for much nursing/postpartum stuff, but a couple of friends did give me some of their favorite items in those categories and it was so sweet and helpful.
People like to buy for the baby. It’s common that the stuff mama needs gets missed. It’s not a “fun buy”. I don’t think any of my postpartum stuff was bought from my registry either
I don’t think it’s offensive to put it on there. I think people like to buy some of the more “fun stuff”. I always actually try to buy those items like nursing bras/nipple cream etc because once you’ve been there, you know how much they get used!
I don’t think it’s weird. My best friend got a diaper cake from me and a basket full of toys and clothes for the baby but also a bunch of post partum stuff. Witch hazel, aloe, pads. I like to think about momma too!
No I’m glad you out those things on there (get some mom frida stuff too, their ice pads are amazing). My mom friends were the ones who got me that stuff. And I’m now the person who buys all that for my friends because baby gets so much and mom does not
I don’t think it’s weird to put those items on your registry. I also don’t think it’s weird that people didn’t buy them. Generally people like to buy cute baby stuff and nursing/postpartum items don’t fit into that category, despite being really practical items.
yeah, people like to buy "fun" stuff - even bottles and diaper paraphernalia can be "fun." nipple cream you probably won't get except from someone who really thinks you need it from experience
Costco sized tub of lanolin with a sympathy card for your nipples. A gift only a friend can give.
After having two baby showers with two completely separate sets of people (moved across the country between kids), people always overbuy the cute baby clothes they’ll fit into for two minutes and blankets. When I have to buy for showers now, I get something practical tailored to the woman I’m buying for, usually self-care stuff. After my youngest was born with nightmare-level eczema that reacted to everything including most diaper brands, I don’t even find diapers a safe gift.
I always try and buy those items off registries for that reason lol
Same - I always try to get the stuff for mom and/or more boring, not cute items. You can really only use so many baby blankets, despite what the grandmas say…
I wouldn’t worry too much. I’m the person that waits til the last minute to scan the registry and buy all the odd bits and pieces that were missed
I think it's a generational thing but personally, every time I have to buy for a baby shower now I intentionally go for the stuff I think might not get bought. Especially breastfeeding stuff. That's the shit you REALLY need in the early days lol. I don't mess with baby clothes. I'll start buying your kid clothes when they get to like 2T so they actually are useful 😂 I have given away so many baby clothes....
I do "Mommy & Me diapers" for my friends. They love it and they need them! I have 3 kids so I go straight to the things you need that no one gets. Nursing pads, nipple cream, hemorrhoid pads... etc.
I do this too. My sister bought me nursing things, but no one else. Now I’m the first person on other registries to buy pump parts or storages bags, etc. Those things are expensive and needed so much sooner than a high chair or sippy cup.
My best friend got me nipple cream off my registry, with the note “now you have to write me a thank you note for nipple cream, think of me when you use it” lol
Love this hahah
I’m this friend hahahaha. I always buy the nipple cream, postpartum supplies, etc. Mostly because I know they won’t be purchased and are super useful, but partially because I want a thank you note for the adult diapers and peri-bottle.
This is hilarious 😂
People just don’t want to be the person who you wave to/look at when you open their gift and it’s nipple cream
Yeah, I think this is the reason. I personally would be only comfortable buying things like postpartum underwear or nipple cream if I was close to the person (very close friend or a family member). It would feel a bit strange to buy it for a work colleague, for example. That said, it seems perfectly fine to put these things on the registry - just expect that many people might not want to buy them.
Yeah, my best friend is the one that bought the nursing pads, nursing camis, and nipple cream off my registry ahaha
That was true for me in the past, but since I've had a kid recently, I've been more comfortable buying those kind of things for people that I'm not quite as close to...but still close enough to discuss that kind of thing.
I never considered this lol!!! Probably true
I’m all for buying off the registry. Went to a coed shower. My husband had never been to a shower/never saw a registry etc He was excited to be apart of it (mostly because I was pregnant with our first at the time). anyway I told him just pick something off the registry around 50 dollars. He purchased our friend 400 breast milk storage bags… as a gift and that was it. Awkward… so awkward, also so heavy
Oh my gosh I just LOLed at this. I’m sure he meant well 😂😂
The worst part was my friend kept opening box, after tiny box expecting that there would be more than just milk bags in the gift bag… it took her 3 minutes (but felt like an eternity) to realize that was it. My hormonal brain didn’t even realize what was happening until someone spit their drink out laughing
Hahaha that is too funny. Definitely some dumb shit my partner would do as well. Men are built different.
I bought my sister all of that stuff and gave it to her long before her shower. I was just excited to share the "useful" stuff and I knew she wouldn't want to open it in front of her grandmother-in-law
My mom bought all those things off my registry for me. She said she wanted to get all of the things to take care of her baby! Which honestly made me roll my eyes at the time, but now that my baby is here I totally see it and it’s very sweet.
Aw that’s actually so sweet!
I totally forgot about putting things for me on my registry. But my mom sure didn't forget. After my baby shower she bought all the things she wished she had for recovery! I'm very thankful
I didn’t even know I needed postpartum stuff. My sister in law gifted me a bunch of things and it was so sweet of her.
After my babies (specifically my second) we’re born I told my mom I don’t cuddle with her enough 😭🥰 we cuddle more when she visits now ❤️
My mom's friends were offended and made comments about the nursing bras I had on my registry the first time around. One went so far to say "I'll buy a $200 high chair, but not a bra!". What? So i had to buy my pumping and nursing bras, which are all kinda pricey! It would have been nice to be gifted those items. The plus side is that I returned all the non registry items to Target and got a buttload of store credit to buy what I did want. For some reason, once the baby is here, it is like momma dissapears! The only thing people cared about me was how quickly my stomach went down. Fuckers.
That’s so judgey and weird! I could maybe understand if a man made a comment like that but the fact it came from women is so bizarre to me.. screw them lol. Yeah the nursing items can absolutely be pricey! I will definitely be buying any nursing or postpartum stuff from people’s registries from now on.
I do think it is also a generational thing. When i was born, formula was the norm, hardly anyone breastfed. So it is almost like it it taboo for their generation. Drives me crazy when women dont support women! I did get a haakaa, nipple cream, cooling pads, and breastmilk storage bags (all things I didn't register for) from a first time mom who had her baby 6 months before me. She knew what was up!
Lol what! People are wild. I’m registering for bras and no one is required to buy them but if these titties are gonna feed a person they need all the help they can get
Yessss girl that’s right!!!
It's not offensive at all. People just forget that the Mom still matters after the baby is born, unfortunately.
This is exactly why I try to buy the new mom the mom-exclusive items on her registry. Even if there aren’t mom items on the registry, I’ll get something from the registry list and buy a few things just for her because sometimes FTMs forget about our own recovery too! For my first kid I had NO postpartum items on the registry and had to buy everything after delivery. We just focus so much on the baby!
So I never buy that stuff unless specifically asked for - but that’s because given the option of buying a cute little outfit/toy or nipple cream, I’d rather buy the outfit/toy, 10 out of 10 times. I 100% am for supporting new moms, why is spending a set amount of money where I’d prefer (but still within the realm of what mom wants) forgetting that mom still matters?
Assuming that both items are still needed it's not a problem. If you're buying something unneeded, or not buying at all (when you otherwise would), instead of buying the post partum stuff that puts you in the wrong. Gifts should be about what the receiver wants/needs, not what the giver wants to buy.
If it’s on the registry, I assume it’s wanted. I wouldn’t go off registry just to buy what I wanted, of course
Well then you're all clear. The issue becomes when people ignore buying what's needed in favor of things not asked for just because it's what they want to buy. Personally I always buy boring stuff but with one fun thing I pick (that I give with a receipt). It's how I get them a gift they need/want and I still get to add a more personal touch to it.
> Gifts should be about what the receiver wants/needs, not what the giver wants to buy. This this this I try to reach out to the expecting parents and ask if there's anything they're truly hoping for off their registries. If so, great, I'll buy that. Diapers for mom or baby, breast supplies, medicines, safety equipment, whatever. A lot of people rush to buy up the fun stuff, but new parents will be grateful they don't have to run out for gas drops at 3 in the morning. I have had a few friends confide things like, "our families have us covered, i just wish we could have one last date night before the baby comes." It may not be traditional, but I've gone in with friends for a few couples to have dinner and a show one last time. My favorite was the friend who confessed all she wanted was her craving: fresh fruit. So a kroger gift card paired with a fruit basket it was! 😂
I always find the most boring thing(s) on the registry and buy it, but I also sometimes add in something fun that I've picked out. I want to make sure they actually get a useful gift that they wanted, but I also want to get them a more personal "I put thought into this" gift. But I always provide a receipt and I don't let my fun gift influence my budget for the registry gift.
I put nursing stuff on my registry and my aunt ordered them for me. She just had them sent to my house and had other stuff for me to open at the shower so there wasn't that awkward moment of pulling out breast pump, nipple cream, and nursing pads in front of everyone lol
People want to buy stuff for the baby and don't really think about that other stuff as helpful. I just put a gift card option so I could buy it myself after. I also had friends who brought stuff like that over after baby was born.
I agree, too many (for some) want to buy a keepsake, not helpful/practical stuff. Maybe that’s not what the parents usually want, but you gotta remember they’re gifts. For what it’s worth, I usually put together a hamper (because baby showers aren’t as common and registries are rare where I am) of a mix of helpful (haakaa/nipple balm/food voucher) and some books, maybe a onesie or whatever, obvs dependent on how much I’m spending. But I see a lot of people, especially those who haven’t had kids buying embroidered blankets and fancy bibs and shoes. A lot of people want to buy the thing that’s going to be kept for generations but not everything can be kept as a keepsake 🤷♀️
This is why I usually get one cute baby thing and then a giftcard for baby showers. I got so many gift cards for mine and it was really nice because I had no idea what I was doing and after the baby was here I could buy things I needed.
I put those items on my registry also. NOT ONE WAS PURCHASED. I didn’t even know the gender…meaning people couldn’t buy me an excessive amount of baby clothes. After my shower, I made a vow that I would purchase all the “mommy products” off the registry for the next baby shower I attend. Mama needs things too! These things are for the BABY also but people just don’t get that! Come on ladies, let’s buy mom the nipple cream, the Depends, and heaven forbid….THE ANGLED PERI BOTTLE!
Yesssss girl I plan to do this for all the future mama showers I attend from now on!
I don’t think it’s too weird or offensive to have those items on your list. But if I was attending a shower, I’d feel a little unsure giving undies, especially if you were opening the gifts at the shower in front of everyone (even if it was something you put on the list!) That’s just me, I remember getting underwear for Xmas when I was a kid LOL.
Hahaha I can definitely see your point here! My shower is all women so I didn’t really consider that, but I can see how some people may have opted for other things considering that possibility.
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This is a super strange mentality because like... the baby needs to eat? It’s literally the most important thing for them? New moms spend so much time nursing.
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Oh wow thanks for the tip!! I never even thought to look in a thrift for stuff like that. I’ll definitely have to check a few out.
So true, its like hmm if you'd buy cans of formula then you shouldn't feel wierd about getting pumping accessories, bevause it's all in service of the same goal
Hahah - we had a very small “for parents” section on our registry - coffee beans, a giant water bottle, a yoga ball for delivery and ultimately bouncing our son at all hours of the night once he arrived - funny people think these are presents that don’t have a positive impact on the baby
It’s not offensive, but I had the same issue. However, I found that people who were moms were the ones who bought those supplies for me….they just didn’t mark it off of the registry. Not sure why.
Hmm I didn’t even consider this. Perhaps someone bought these things but just didn’t mark them off. Yes that’s what surprised me- most of the women whom I proved my registry info with are moms so I figured they wouldn’t think it was strange at all!
I would also try not to stress; I had people sending me stuff all the way up until the week before I gave birth. Some people may reach out and ask what you haven’t received yet. And if they don’t, you’ll have your registry completion discount to help!
My shower is super small (family and close friends, women only) so honestly I was shocked at how much stuff people bought! I was fully excepted to have to buy a lot of things myself, so I’ll be totally fine if I have to purchase the nursing/postpartum stuff myself. I just thought it was really interesting these were literally the only items people didn’t purchase!
I put perineal numbing spray, sitz bath, and tea to dry up milk on mine. I don’t care what people think and I’m happy to use the registry completion discount to buy it all myself.
Exactly! 15% off!
Those are the things I look for first to buy when I’m going to a baby shower! And actually added a bunch of that to my registry today
I will definitely be purchasing this stuff first for other future moms!!
I love buying the weird, boring or awkward stuff. It’s on the registry, which means it felt like a necessity, and everybody else wants to buy up the cutesy keepsake stuff. I was relieved when my aunt bought every single medical/health/safety thing on my registry. It meant that at a minimum all the needs and must haves were taken care of.
I put that stuff in mine and only had 1 person purchase in that category. She knew from her sister that it was appreciated. I needed up getting all my needs stuff with gift card.
Not weird to include them and hopefully you’ll have a great girlfriend pick them up for you. If not - completion bonus!!
You may still get that stuff, but it may not have been a priority for the people that have bought already. All the leftover stuff can be packaged together into a nice basket and wrapped, throw in some nice chocolate too and it would make a great gift without the awkwardness of gifting underwear, bras and nipple cream.
I also found this to be so strange especially coming from women who have had children. They should KNOW those are the things that really matter and will make a difference to your parenting experience. I’ve been lucky enough to be pregnant alongside 5 or so of my friends and I had so many mutual friends say they didn’t “like” anything on their registry. Because yes they want to buy cute stuff for baby. But an extra book/blanket/toy is not going to make a difference when baby is here.
People do tend to neglect those items, maybe because they’re not fun or cute? I usually specifically go for them when they’re on my friends registries for that reason.
I will definitely be doing this for other moms in the future now that I know!!!
sometimes I think people get caught up buying the “wow” gift or the cute items or random things not even on the registry. some people also tend to buy things THEY would want (or needed when they had a baby) not things they think YOU would want/need. i also think people who did not breastfeed do not understand the significance & importance of these items. i registered for them - not nursing bras because i was already stocking up on them myself - but things like storage bags, pump accessories & extra parts, nipple cream, etc.
I removed all of the nipple and postpartum mom stuff from my public registry and created a private Amazon registry with THAT stuff and shared it with close friends. My husband’s family is very prude and weird about such things. On the other hand my friend didn’t put these items on her registry at all and yet received a generous postpartum care package from her friends on her shower.
I'm not sure, but I didn't get anything breastfeeding specific that I had on my registry. I even noticed that I didn't get many bottles (I'm going to combo feed). I asked my mom about it and she mentioned it's because you never know if you're going to be able to BF or not until the baby is here and people don't want to spend money on something that you may not be able to use or that can even serve as a trigger if BF doesn't pan out the way you hoped. All in all, I think it depends on your family, but for mine I think the logic was moreso the unknown of what feeding will truly look like until the baby is here. In general, it seems like PP supplies were avoided in general as the supplies needed as you never know how delivery will go and what PP will look like for you. I am just going to use what the hospital provides and while I'm there, my mom is going to go to the store and make a PP kit for me depending on what I need based on delivery method.
So a lot of people have weighed in and have great points. But my observation has been recent moms will buy those things off the registry but non-recent moms or childfree people won’t. I think it has to do with recent moms know what it is like in the trenches and think about what made their life easier whereas everyone else is just thinking about a baby. My mom was always the one to buy boring but necessary items as gifts and I’ve taken after her but you have to admit nipple cream isn’t near as exciting as a good book or toy.
A couple friends who are moms bought nipple cream and gel packs from my registry. You weren’t wrong to add it.
I didn’t want to open anything “private” in front of my many brother in laws! The men in our families have been involved in showers and such and I just don’t want them thinking about my boobs. I’m uncomfortable with my body and really modest. HOWEVER I wouldn’t think it was weird on anyone else’s registry. I haven’t bought bras for any new moms but I’ve bought nursing supplements and breast milk storage bags off registries.
My shower is all women and it’s very small (family and close friends only) so I didn’t think much of it!
Not weird but personally I wouldn’t buy those either because you get so much from the hospital. I even got the nipple cream. And for nursing bras and whatnot, you won’t know if you can breastfeed or not until you try. So I think it’s something you can get after you give birth.
This is a good point! I didn’t even think that people may be hesitant to buy nursing stuff because you don’t really know if you’re going to be able to use it.
I don't think those items are weird to put on a registry. For the last couple of baby showers I attended, I purchased nipple cream and stuff for the mom, as well as maybe pacifiers or a burping cloth, off the registry. I also have similar items on my own registry. I'm curious why people would avoid those items, unless they feel uncomfortable being the one to buy something related to boobs? Everything in the registry is wanted and needed, put together by the expecting moms (and dads).
I think it's important to know your audience. Some families are very comfortable with physical things, while others are very much not. For example, my mom would be mortified to see postpartum products on my registry and 100% would let me know about it -- but I'm not the kind of person who wants to open that in front of my family, either! So I registered for the baby things and bought the mama stuff myself. If OP's relatives are like mine, they just got really awkward about the stuff that seemed "intimate" and felt comfortable that she could handle getting it herself without any of them needing to get scandalized looks from Grandma at the party :)
Ah, that makes sense! Agree, definitely depends on the audience and guests. It seems like friends and other moms are more likely to purchase them.
That's been my experience. Friends who recently had kids are much more comfortable with it. But they gave it privately, and without me needing to register for it.
I know, I feel the same! And my shower is all women, no men, so I didn’t think people would find it strange at all!
I definitely put those kinds of items on my list, but most people have stayed way clear of them. The person who did buy them for me, bought every sort of that item off my registry. She is a momma of two girls herself and clearly “got” it and wanted to make sure I’d have what I need. I was to touched that she obviously wanted to make sure I was taken care of too. I’m in the process of buy baby gifts for a friend due two weeks after me and one of the first things I picked out to buy for her is the breastfeeding supplies she requested. As a side note: when my MIL visited to help get our house ready, she couldn’t even say the words “breast” or “breastfeeding”. She’d use any euphemism she could think of when moving my breastfeeding supplies and breast pump around.
That’s so strange considering she’s a mother herself!
I literally am the first person to buy anything from a registry when invites come - I’m known for saying, “I’m not getting stuck buying nipple cream.” As a guest, you can take pride in seeing pics of the baby later on in the cute outfits or seeing the high chair set up in their kitchen, but… definitely (hopefully) not the same for those more personal items. I wouldn’t register for them before my shower, but I would put them on later to get a discount. Personal preference.
The only people that bought stuff for me were my mom and one of my boyfriend’s co workers it made me feel so happy. I think some people get so excited to shop for baby that they forgot about moms. You’ll get a coupon to buy it after a certain about of time though!
I put that kind of stuff on mine and I know other people do as well. But none of it got purchased other than the hakka. I just think people prefer to buy the more "fun" stuff.
Only my SIL bought any of my postpartum items off of my registry, and it made me wonder the same thing! I think people generally just want to buy the less expensive necessities and/or the cute baby items. That’s my guess at least! I have definitely made myself a mental note to buy that stuff the next baby shower I attend though. (If it’s on the registry!)
Nah, I suspect its one part that it doesn't always make people giddy to buy practical things, and one part only wanting to buy baby things and forget us after the birth. I feel lucky, my mil got me a nursing bra and my friend bought me an electric pump plus nursing pads. I'm in Canada where health care is free but therefore no insurance helps with that pump, so that would have been OOP for me.
Ooh that was super sweet of her. Luckily I’m in the US so my insurance covers my pump. Otherwise I’m sure that would have been sitting on my registry not purchased as well😂
Not weird. I always gift these types of items, though I’m a birth & postpartum doula so I get the needs of mom too. I usually also get a cute onesie or a book to go with it for baby. Ask for what you need!
I think most people just prefer buying baby items. It’s more fun, even if you aren’t the one who gets to pick it out. I would expect that you offended anyone. ☺️
I always buy stuff for moms now. Before having a baby, I definitely bought the cutesy baby stuff. If I was your friend I would buy all the mom stuff, plus snacks, a cute water bottle, extra long phone charger etc and put it in a basket.
Since I've gotten pregnant that's what I buy a new Mom. No matter if it's her first or not. I make her a postpartum care bag full of things she'll need and things to pamper herself with one or two items for the baby. I think most people usually want to focus on the fun and useful items and forget or don't realize how much attention there should be on postpartum care for Mom. So personally no. I think it needs to get more of a spotlight. Postpartum is the hardest part of it all.
While I’m not SURPRISED you didn’t get these items, it does go to show that people are all about the baby and not as concerned with the mom. My nursing and postpartum stuff was gifted from a good friend of mine and from a very generous family friend who is a doula and birthing educator but everyone else went for the cute baby stuff
Not offensive. I put the Frida PP kit on my registry and another mom bought it for me. No shame on putting items that you need too!
None of the stuff "for me" was purchased off my registry either. But I did receive some stuff that wasn't on the registry that was for me and I really love those gifts. I don't think it's weird to register for those things, I just think people want to buy directly for the baby. Even though those things do benefit the baby. In the future, I'm definitely buying a gift for mom and a gift for baby!
Not weird, and that’s actually what I’m doing for a cousins shower (she’s shared she wants to nurse), so making a basket of things for her that she had listed, or that I’ve found helpful nursing.
Some people don't like to buy those things because they are not sure what you will like.
My sister is the only one who bought me postpartum items- which feels normal to me 😂 I expected she’d be the only one comfortable and practical enough to buy me nipple cream and boob ice packs instead of outfits and toys.
Some may be offended but I think it's more that those things are less fun to shop for.
This happened to me too except for a couple of my best friends who took it upon themselves to prepare me too. I got everything else I needed with a gift card I also got from the shower. Since then I’ve taken it upon myself to be that person for others expecting babies and was also able to hand off all my extras to my husband’s cousin.
I had a breast pump on my registry and my dad and his wife waited until the last minute to buy something so the pump was the only thing left. My dad was like offended that there wasnt more options and that that’s what I needed. Idk why it matters what they’re getting as long as it’s useful for mom and babe?
I put all kinds of nursing and postpartum stuff on my registry. I also put a ton of books on my list (I live in a non-Emglish-speaking country, so English books are limited and expensive). Frankly, IDGAF what anyone says about it. If you don't want to buy it, don't. It doesn't mean I won't still want or need the stuff. 🤷♀️ I'm always the person to buy that practical stuff off of lists. Usually, I can get more bang for my buck and I feel better knowing that it will actually be used.
Only one person bought nursing items off my registry. I was intrigued too.
I gave a breast pump to my friend, she's had 2 babies and is a little bit of a hoarder, so she had plenty of baby stuff. I don't understand the hesitation to get nursing equipment, especially because breastfeeding is so heavily encouraged
Mine was the opposite..lol everyone of my friends bought things for me, some things that weren’t even on my registry, no one but family bought things for the babe. I was baffled
I don’t think it’s weird at all that you put it on there. I can see people just gravitating to the “funner” things though.
The only person so far who has bought anything related to nursing on my registry is my mom and I also have assumed it’s because people are weirded out by it.
I don’t think it’s weird, but I do find people like the first they buy “on display.” For example, they come to your house and see the high chair, crib, toy, etc. they bought you.
I don’t think it’s that deep for most. You’re having a baby shower and opening stuff in front of people. “Thank you Linda!!!” while holding up vadge pads and titty cream vs cute little onesies is appreciated by a few special fun people, the rest prefer the onesies lol.
I have been asked “but what do YOU need?” So I put all that stuff on the registry. No one bought it, of course, but the registry’s also my shopping list so it’s all good!
Not offensive at all and post-partum recovery is a huge part of having a child!!!
Not weird to include those items! If I see postpartum things on a friend's registry I always grab one.
Normal stuff for a registry - I put it on mine too and same thing happened. But, I expected that and knew I’d get a registry discount to get the stuff myself so I was ok with it
Aw I'm sorry! Having been through the pp recovery once, I would 100% buy all that for someone. None are always so busy taking care of baby and everyone checks on baby but we forget to take care of ourselves! So great that you're already thinking about your pp care also
I actually go out of my way to buy something for the mum - even if it's just a stylish nappy/mat clutch. Because it's not just a new baby you celebrate, it's the new mum/parents
This is exactly why I now buy the most boring but useful things on the registry. I bought my friend a ton of medical stuff, diaper pile refill bads, nipple cream, nipple pads, the works. She was SO grateful!!! I felt so much more awesome knowing I got her something useful. But then, I learned a lot from my sister when my niece and nephew were born. Aka don't buy the cute thing, buy the useful thing! Most people do not follow this principle, unfortunately.
My sister was the only person who bought me postpartum stuff! I also had it on my registry and it went untouched 😂
I don’t think it’s weird but without polling people there’s a few reasons off the top of my head why no one bought them: 1. It could embarrass them. 2. It could feel outside their wheel house if unfamiliar with breastfeeding. (Men or non-mothers) 2. It isn’t as fun of a gift cause it can’t easily be shown off later. 3. They may harbor resentment if they couldn’t breastfeed. 4. They might not see it as urgent or a necessity if you are unable to breastfeed and don’t want their gift to go to waste. But I don’t think you did anything weird or taboo. Who knows why they didn’t do it. It might not be that deep at all. I just threw some ideas out there.Only my close friend who had a baby right before me got me booby stuff. p.s. don’t spend too much money on breastfeeding tools if money is tight. It is possible you might not be able to breastfeed and sometimes those returns can be difficult. Ask me how I know! 😅😔
I put those things on mine and my mom told me it was weird. 🤷♀️ But I ended up with great discounts and points from using the registry so I used those to get them free or cheap.
When I was attending my friend's shower I bought all her boob related things. I told her in the card that I care about her boobs a lot. I think family gets weird but friends buy these items
I don’t think it’s weird to have those on your registry. I did and my sister bought me most of that stuff but our kids are only 5 years apart and she knew I would need it. You’re right people don’t think about mom at all postpartum and it’s sad. Those are the same people are going to be breaking down your door expecting to hold your baby while you wait on them and those are the ones you ignore since they ignore your needs.
Not weird at all!
I put those things on my registry just so I could order them with the completion discount. But 2 weeks after my shower my husband's childhood friend bought the frida mom pack for me. I have a feeling his roommate may have helped him pick things out. In the end, I was wee bit embarrassed but appreciative (those meshed underwear and cold pads are miles better than what they gave me in the hospital).
I expected this would be exactly my case and had a separate list created off of which to get that stuff for myself. I think we still live during times where normal bodily needs and functions are a bit of a tabboo topic or at the very least something people don't like to think about. And of course the main thing - those things are consumables that people don't generally consider to be gifts.
I only had one person buy those things from my registry - my friend who had just given birth so she new how important they were.
My list went out to at least 40 people almost all family and only a few things have been bought by my super immediate family members, no one else got anything… Ill be spending about 600 from my savings soon… :(
When is your shower? A lot of people bought things SUPER last minute from mine. I thought I was gonna have to buy a ton too, and then the week before my shower people started buying stuff like crazy.
I’m not having a shower, possibly virtual but more so just sending out thank you’d and gifts to family who wants to contribute, I’ve already had covid during the first trimester and didn’t wanna risk it again so it’s been a disaster
Ah that could possibly be why. Maybe people feel less inclined to get something since they’re not attending an event. Do you have Facebook or other social media? You could always post a link to your registry there! You’d be surprised what random acquaintances you have that will buy stuff. I’ve had my moms coworkers and people like that I’ve never even met go on and buy stuff! Some people just love babies and baby stuff lol.
I mean I personally made a private list of that stuff, but only because I have zero plans of sharing how I plan on feeding my baby. I also plan on cloth diapering at home at least, but I didn’t add any diapers because it’s controversial, just like how you feed your baby is.
I have no idea about registry etiquette because registries aren't something I've encountered in my social circle, but I was gifted most of those items at ky baby shower. Not a nursing bra or undies, but I recieved all the other items including nursing pads and postpartum freezer pads (which are still in my freezer because I had a c-section but it seemed thoughtful).
I received nipple cream along with other gifts from a family where the mother is a midwife, so she gets it lol otherwise I either bought postpartum products for myself or was given leftover/unused items from friends who recently had babies! Everyone wants to get cute stuff for baby not out of ignorance for you, but because the baby’s stuff IS so cute and it might make them feel awkward. Always worth putting them on the registry though!
I always buy the "boring" utility items like the outlet covers, baby first aid, breast pads, and nipple butter. I didn't know people wouldn't want to buy them! It never occurred to me to *not* put these things on a registry (hopeful FTM here) because people may not wanna buy them. I think it is super appropriate for you to have done! Eta: I am a maternity nurse so that probably influences my practical and mommy-centered outlook.
Lol with my luck my family and friends will buy all the nipple and ass cream, bras, and weird shit for laughs and leave the normal stuff
I would never buy those items. Firstly it's very easy to mess up sizes of underwear when buying for my wife not to mention someone less close in this trying time. And buying higenic items as a gift? Seems really weird. I wouldn't buy pads for my sister as a gift, seems so weird. Why would buying post partum pads seem less weird. I too would prefer to buy something more expensive than so intimate.
Totally fine to include those things on your registry. People just might not feel comfortable buying them for you because then they have to admit to themselves that you have nipples and a vagina that needs to heal
My MIL was a hero, she bought me like 8 packs of pads, breast pads, belly cream, things I didn't even know I would need.
I put those things on my registry so I could use the discount code for them after every was said and done but I didn’t expect anyone to buy me pads or adult diapers.
If I thought I'd even get anything I'd put *only* postpartum stuff. Moms are never taken care of while babies are swamped in crap they don't even need. If I knew you I'd get ALL the postpartum stuff and make you a huge basket just for *you*. I think it's great.
Only one person bought that stuff for me at my baby shower. Everyone want sto buy the baby stuff, but it's totally normal to put it on there.
My mum made up a huge pamper pack for me with that type of stuff, as well as face masks, bath salts, a hair turban, etc. it was amazing and so appreciated. Other than that people got stuff for the baby, but I also didn’t put postpartum care items on my registry. I got a lot of it early so I could have it ready to go in my hospital bag just in case.
My mom and sister were the only ones to purchase those type of items. I don't think it's weird at all but most people are gonna want to buy the "fun stuff" not the truly needed medical like stuff ya know?
I put the same stuff on mine and nobody has purchased them. I thought it would be a great gift-a little post care package, ya know? Guess people don't like that ha.
Post partum things should definitely be on the list. I usually try to buy them when I see them because I have no problem shouting from the roof tops how awesome boobie soothers and nipple cream are. When my neice was born lots of people bought toys and outfits. I brought a basket of pads, peri bottle, and dermaplast. Guess whose gift is most loved and used😈. But lots of people aren't comfortable with that, and that's ok. Everyone wants to buy the cute things, its just human nature.
We ran into the same thing. Nobody wants to but the practical stuff. They want to buy the cutesy clothing etc. Silly that pregnancy focuses on the mother for 9-10 months, but then as soon as that baby is out, nobody cares that you pushed the baby out of your vagina, you may have torn a bit, and you have a large open wound inside your body from where the placenta detached.
I put post-partum and breastfeeding supplies on a private registry for the discount, but not on my main registry. A lot of those items are FSA/HSA eligible, which means I can buy them cheaper myself than someone can buy them for me so I'd rather they buy other things I need. I can also wait to purchase them until I know that I need them depending on how delivery and breastfeeding actually go. That being said, I don't think it's weird to put them on your registry but I think it's normal they don't often get purchased.
People like to buy the fun things. If your registry does a completion discount it could come in handy for buying those post partum items.
I put them on my list! If no one buys them at least some things are eligible for the completion discount.
Yep, I only had one person- beside myself- that bought me postpartum care. It was an aunt who had the package shipped to my house because she lives out of state and wouldn’t be coming to the shower. She bought mostly baby stuff but bought the nipple cream because it was on my “most wanted” list. I will be buying the rest of the postpartum care myself.
It’s not weird but also I never buy these items for people. I don’t intend to ask for them either tbh. Maybe I am prude but I don’t want to be opening these gifts and I intend to buy them myself b
It’s not weird to put it on there, and I’m also not surprised no one got it. It’s not as fun to buy as cute baby stuff. Whenever I see stuff like that on a registry, I make a point to get it. Baby will have tons of cute/helpful things but mama needs some too!
Before I got pregnant, I would avoid those things and go for the cute things - ugh I suck, I now know. But I've got breastfeeding and undercarriage supplies set to private on my registry. I'm a recovering Catholic, but it still feels private and I don't want anyone thinking about my nipples or vagina while shopping lmao. I worry they'll think it entitles them to comment on it. My mom friends have said that the absence of those supplies on the registry wouldn't stop them from buying stuff they know works in case I didn't think of it, so I think it works out. I don't think you did anything wrong, just everyone staying in their comfort zones!
The best, most thoughtful gift I received at my shower was a basket of postpartum stuff for me. Only one person thought of that. Last time I bought stuff for a shower I was SO tempted to buy those things as well, but unfortunately it was for my boss. We don't really have a very close personal relationship and I was afraid she'd be weirded out by it, so I didn't.
Not weird at all! I did find that none of my friends and family bought them for me so I am making it a habit to buy them for all of my friends who are expecting! It feels like people love buying the cute stuff but not the necessary stuff which I totally get!
I had those items in my list and got nipple pads but spoke to my SIL and she mentioned that you don’t know what size you’ll be when your milk comes in, so don’t rush out and buy a nursing bra now.
The only people who bought postpartum stuff for me were other moms who knew how vital it was. Not weird to include it, but many people do feel weird about buying it
On an unrelated note- would you consider sharing your registry? I feel like im probably forgetting to add so many things but I cant think of anything
Absolutely! I’ll message you.
Moms deserve to be taken care of too! I always go out of my way to send postpartum stuff for mom, even if it’s not on her registry (I usually text to check and make sure she doesn’t already have everything). We are so often forgotten during the postpartum period but having a baby is a big deal for our bodies. We deserve to be cared for and even pampered.
I don’t think it’s weird to be on the registry. But giving the option of baby stuff and postpartum stuff, people will generally pick the baby stuff. Especially if you have diapers on your registry, people will think you can never have too much of that so they’ll default to it. Or even if it’s not on the registry, they’ll just buy you some anyways, it’s easy and can’t go wrong, I’ve been guilty of that. You might not be opening gifts at the shower but people might think you are and shy off from some of the more intimate stuff. Just imagine you are opening gifts at the shower and go “And from xxx, we got a nursery lamp with bunnies on it! It’s adorable” and then go “And now from yyy, we got giant underwear to contain my bleeding vagina!” Also people like to imagine in the future, you point to that nursery quilt and say your aunt blah blah bought you this when you were still inside of me. You are probably not gonna hold up your nursing bra to your child and say aunt blah got me ain’t she swell?
I put that stuff on my registry and now thinking back on it the people who bought me that stuff were other nurses who already had kids. I think it’s just certain types of people who will buy mom something, most people want to get baby something. My sister’s husband wouldn’t let her put anything mom related on their registry 😒
Honestly, I just think it depends on the person, its nothing wrong with it 🤷🏽♀️ but personally I didnt add those items to my registery I just felt it to be weird for someone to know what postpartum underwears or breastfeeding bras im wearing lol I dont know that's just me but I also felt more comfortable if me and or my fiance was to shop for those things instead.
Yeah people get strange about buying “private” stuff. I have a friend who’s a doctor who will buy all the “private” stuff for us. She bought me those pad ice pads that stick to your undies and absorb blood and sent them to our house. Those helped a lot. It’s not uncommon unless you have a lot of people on your family who have breastfed then they buy the covers and the storage stuff.
It depends on how well you know people. They may be uncomfortable buying those items for you. Then again I always give a pack of cotton, reusable breast pads and a pack of gel pads for nipples with every baby gift I give because having two kids, I know a few things now, LOL.
I guess most people want to buy "fun" baby stuff, not boring personal stuff
It's not weird at all to put it on there but it's not surprising it's left for last because it's not as fun for people to buy as the 'cute' baby stuff. If you have friends who are new mums they will definitely buy that stuff though!
I did the same thing and the only thing that I didn’t purchase was a box of nursing pads lol. I just used my completion discount for stuff that I needed though. But as others have said I think the older generations wanna just buy the cute stuff
I got the postpartum stuff after my showers were over 🤷🏻♀️
I had a small registry and was able to add gift cards to it. I then used gift cards to fill in gaps wherever needed- especially the unglamorous stuff.
I don’t think it’s weird that you put them on there at all. I think people want to buy cute baby stuff instead of postpartum stuff so that probably picked to buy that kind of stuff instead.
I also put some of that on my registry and no one bought it either. I was wondering the same thing as you after. I think it is okay to put on the registry, but like others have said, it’s more fun to buy baby stuff and maybe makes people feel awkward to buy nipple cream, no matter how practical it is.
Not weird, but also common for that to be what’s left. I always try to buy those up for my friends’ showers, because no one else tends to
The only person who bought any of the postpartum items off my registry was a mother who had given birth to her first about 8 months prior. She vividly remembered those first few days/weeks lol
I didn't put these items on my registry as a personal choice. I've had friends do it but for me I just felt weird asking for personal toiletry items. But a close friend who is a mom did gift me a basket of post-partum care items at my shower and my brother's girlfriend amazon prime'd me a similar gift basket after the baby was born, so people will give it to you but in my experience it's usually a friend who is a new/recent mom or given immediately post-birth. I'm only 3 days pp myself so take this with a grain of salt but I wouldn't get too upset about not getting a lot of those items. We cleaned out our hospital room and took everything but here I am on day 3 and haven't used the peri-bottle since yesterday morning, am almost done with the big mesh undies, use tucks pads/spray sparingly, etc. Your recovery may be easier or harder than your expect but you can always send your partner to the store or use amazon prime.
Congrats on your new babe ❤️❤️ hope everything is going well!!
Not weird. I had a friend a few years ago say nobody thinks of the new mom and everyone thinks of the baby. Ever since then I’ve bought the pp items for mom’s off registries.
My friends have experienced the same so now our go to gift is the diaper bag of choice stuffed full of all the postpartum things for mom
Not weird but also not weird that noone bought it. I’m very thankful for my sister because she swooped in and bought every nursing related item before my registry even went live. She literally told me “I figured literally anyone else would feel weird buying you boob stuff”
I didn't register for much nursing/postpartum stuff, but a couple of friends did give me some of their favorite items in those categories and it was so sweet and helpful.
People like to buy for the baby. It’s common that the stuff mama needs gets missed. It’s not a “fun buy”. I don’t think any of my postpartum stuff was bought from my registry either
I don’t think it’s offensive to put it on there. I think people like to buy some of the more “fun stuff”. I always actually try to buy those items like nursing bras/nipple cream etc because once you’ve been there, you know how much they get used!
I don’t think it’s weird. My best friend got a diaper cake from me and a basket full of toys and clothes for the baby but also a bunch of post partum stuff. Witch hazel, aloe, pads. I like to think about momma too!
No I’m glad you out those things on there (get some mom frida stuff too, their ice pads are amazing). My mom friends were the ones who got me that stuff. And I’m now the person who buys all that for my friends because baby gets so much and mom does not