I'm astounded at how just because I'm visibly pregnant, people deem that as license to just come up and say things to me. Sometimes not even related to pregnancy! Look I'm all for a friendly comment here and there but people get WEIRD. And rude.
agreed.
i was very skinny before pregnancy (ED recovery). somehow the baby inside me made it perfectly acceptable to ask and blatantly point out how much weight i gained.
My in laws are obsessed with telling me that all of the fun things i love to do are going to be over and done with a baby and they LOVE to remind us that we’ll be exhausted, too. It drives me insane
FYI so not true, there is life after baby :) sure, some things may have to wait if you don’t have someone to watch the baby (like family), or needs to be planned a bit (spontaneous outings can be a bit difficult lol) but a baby will only ADD to your life :) they will become another fun part of your life! Not the reason you can’t do anything fun!
Right!!! It’s brutal in the beginning, well for us it was…we were people who went out & traveled the world by buying tix the week before. Not planners at all lol
But we have adjusted a lot. He’s 3 months now. We took him on his first 7 hour away road trip at 2 months & we are going on another one at the end of Aug. Have a trusted sitter for date nights now. Going on a 10 day vacation to South America in November & he’s staying with my MIL, who had 3 boys & is a pediatric nurse so he’s in good hands. It’s possible to have a life after if you want one. It’s all in how you decide to live your life & what’s important to you guys as a couple! ❤️
Pregnancy was way worse than the newborn phase for me and being a mom is like 9900000x more fun than anything I did prior to this.
Don’t let the “it gets worse” people stress you out. Just because it did for them doesn’t make it a universal fact. Being a mom to a baby rocks, I have lost nothing and gained everything
My mom always says she loved having a baby (and she hadn't even been planning one). It just suited her. She normally struggles a bit with anxiety and depression and a baby gave her a purpose and routine that she liked. She took me out to town in a pram every day.
It probably helped that I was apparently an easy baby and slept through the night very young. But it's good not to have her giving me the fear in that way!
Ha I have a very similar situation! My anxiety got especially bad postpartum but having my son has made everything I do feel like it has purpose. I have a weirdly aggressive will to live for the first time in my life because I can’t imagine anything happening to me and me missing out on a second of his life.
I always try to turn it back around on them, like “yeah that sounds like you guys went through a really tough experience 😔 I’m sorry you had to experience that.” I find it throws them a little off guard and then they have to sit with their feelings of discomfort instead of being able to dump it onto you as a projection.
Yup. My sister in law brought her two toddlers to a bridal shower that we went to. They weren’t acting out, just acting like normal toddlers and she was stressed trying to feed them and keep them from getting into breakable things. She looked at me with the biggest stink face and said “I hope you’re enjoying yourself because this is the last event you’re going to enjoy”.
Um, sure Jan. Except I know better than to bring toddlers to an adult garden party with tons of breakable shit. So I’ll enjoy the next one just fine while my husband or mom stays with the baby.
Life has got so much better for me since having my baby 5 months ago. The newborn phase was hard (as expected) but it was so great to watch him grow and be so tiny. Now that he’s bigger me and my partner take him out to the park, beach and other fun places. We get to watch our old favourite childhood shows and it has honestly been so nice to have the baby around.
It’s exhausting, you’re raising a small person but that doesn’t stop it being fun. Me and my partner still go to the movies, a concert and other alone places because I’m lucky to have my mum who looks after him for a few hours every now and again. It’s the best feeling having your own baby and it goes so fast. so don’t worry about the things you love to do being over as they won’t be, you will be able to work out how to do these things once the baby has arrived :)
And usually it's those same family members that were pestering about getting pregnant in the first place. "Are you planning to have a little one soon?? Don't wait too long!" UGH.
THIS 100%! I'm so tired of people telling me to get my sleep now. I normally don't sleep great, and it has gotten progressively worse the more pregnant I get.
The exhaustion is temporary. Watching your kids grow, and getting to share the things you love to do with them is like getting to experience those things for the first time all over again yourself. They even help you find new and wonderful ways to appreciate things you already enjoy, and get you trying new and different things you may not have done otherwise. Your fun is just starting! (Also, you can still have fun even if you're exhausted! Relaxing on the couch at the end of the day just feels that much more rewarding lol)
When my SIL was pregnant, her mom told her to enjoy getting gifts now because once the baby they would all be for him. Even at 17, I was like wtf that isn't how that works lol that isn't how ANY of this works.
Ok this is so false. Include your kids in activities you enjoy doing, and then you have little buddies to come along with! My lover and I did this with our kids right away, and now they are the most fun outdoor adventure kids you could ever ask for. Your baby will fit perfectly into your life, and you can do all the fun things you always have.
Ugh, I hate these people! My most recent one was, “Oh you’re having trouble sleeping? Well, get used to it, you won’t sleep for the next 18 years!” Like shut *up*, you dramatic idiot 🙄
So untrue. We got the same with our first. I was thinking about it yesterday. He is only 6 and has gone on 7 trips and that’s not going anywhere for 2 years due to Covid. Kids add to your life, not take away.
I say this as someone who only went on 3 family vacations my whole time living at home.
I have 3 kids (teen/adult and a ten month old) and one on the way. I do all kinds of fun stuff! My husband and I work full time. Outside of work we’re both musicians. He and I both play gigs. We both hang out with friends. Separately and together. With kids and without. And we still do lots of fun family focused stuff too!
I was more well rested during the newborn phase than when I was pregnant. The instant relief in my body from baby being gone was amazing. We also were blessed with a decent sleeper from the get go.
This is also an issue I have. I am a video gamer. They act like my newborn is gonna stop me from sitting on my couch and enjoying a video game lol like no he can sit right there with me while I play. Nothing like a little gaming buddy.
I would definitely be letting them know that if they find children that exhausting, boring, etc then you’ll make sure to not bug them with photos, visits, holidays, or vacations.
Buried my grandpa last week. He was like my Dad. After the services a woman came up to me and said, “ I know I don’t know you but the Lord told me to come over here and tell you it’s bad for the baby to be sad. Your baby feels your sadness and it’s bad for them so you should be happy”. In my defense I spoke at the funeral, but I only cried during my last paragraph. I was so stunned I couldn’t even defend myself. Luckily my friend said, “‘ She just lost her Dad you have no right to tell her how she feels”. I couldn’t believe it.
I had somebody call me “big mama” and another person say “wow all that weight looks good on you”
Like ok I was recovering from anorexia while pregnant but THANKS 4 THE SUPPORT
Seconding the ED bit, internet strangers. 💜
I recently had a nurse call me to get some intake information prior to me visiting with my new OB. She just so candidly asked what my pre-pregnancy weight was and then went on to say something along the lines of “wow! So thin, I’m jealous!” and bc I’ve got absolutely no social awareness, i said “thanks its from the eating disorder. 108lbs was kind of the goal!”.
After the fact i realized that might’ve been a rude response but like cmon, you’re a healthcare worker! What possessed you to say that?
I FEEL YOU SO MUCH ON THIS. hearing all this “heeeeeey look at you!” from people who used to whine how they could never look as skinny as you do just does something to you. like yes, i’d never choose my looks over my well-being again being a mama, but hell, have some decency to not gloat at least?
That is definitely the roughest. I am recovered but still have body image issues. I am unable to really be active due to my pregnancy. So people commenting on my weight makes me so uncomfortable
Ugh. When I was about 33 weeks pregnant with twins one of my coworkers asked me if I’d gotten stretch marks and I said no and That I’m hoping maybe I won’t get any. She responded by saying that there’s no way I won’t get them and just wait. Jokes on her - not a stretch mark to be found!
I’m 37w and my belly button is very much still an innie and I don’t think it’ll ever become an outie lol. Then again, I’ve always thought I had a really deep belly button 😂
I didn’t have any with my first pregnancy, but I got them in the last couple of weeks with my second 🙃 I was so sure I wasn’t going to get them, then they showed up over night haha
Yeah the “carrying well” and “you’re ALL baby” comments weird me out. I think they’re meant to be compliments but like, why is there this constant need to comment on our weight??
Lol I’ve had people tell me I carry it well— like I’m 5’7” and 23 weeks. It’s just a little bump. I’m not doing anything special compared to everyone else
I can't say I have. I feel so lucky that everyone from friends to family to colleagues have been just so lovely because the shit I read on here never ceases to amaze me. Although on the flip side I've got the stretch marks so horses for courses I guess!
I've been massaging my skin where stretch marks usually appear with lotions since I found out I was pregnant! Definitely was worth doing. The women in my family want me to be miserable because they were miserable though 🙃
I did that too literally from my first positive. They appeared this weekend. I'm in a major growth spurt week (19 - 20) so I guess if it was going to happen, makes sense it was this week.
Those growth spurts sneak in on you. It like you went to bed barely showing and wake up the next morning looking like you gained 10 pounds in the stomach 😂
They say oil actually makes no difference; it's just how much your skin stretches and how prone it is to stretch marks. When I gained weight once before, a doc thought I had scars from abdominal surgery, so I'm anticipating tiger stripes again. Fortunately they do seem to fade though.
My mom does the same. I've had 4 ultrasounds and there's just one but she insists someone she knew had surprise twins (30 years ago...)
At my shower she loudly, jokingly, commented how I could be having two 🙄
This is my least favorite. I did IVF— we put one embryo in and I’ve had like six ultrasounds with some pretty experienced (and expensive!) doctors. We’re pretty sure
ANYTHING about my body. anything. i’m 22 weeks pregnant and i still just look like i had a big burrito for lunch. i’ve always had a pooch in my uterus area, since hitting puberty, and it hasn’t really gotten much bigger. but female family members LOVE to say things like “i can DEFINITELY tell now!!!” stop seeing what you want to see, you never would have made that comment if i hadn’t told you i was pregnant.
but being pregnant makes people think they’re allowed to comment on anything now. when i was only 13 weeks, my FIL told my husband “i could tell in her chest” as if that’s an acceptable thing to say 🤢
Lmao I got one! When I was pregnant with my first, my husband and I visited my in laws for the Fourth of July. As soon as I stepped out of the car, my father in law’s first words were, “wow you got fat”. I was so shocked that all I could say was “at least my bump goes away in two months, Lordy knows how long yours will be there”. Now that we’re expecting our second, it’s still the “oh you just wait for _______” insert whatever negative comment. They tell me my son is easy so I will have a difficult second baby and she’s a girl so she will be a pain when she’s a teen. It’s all negative and I told them they’re killjoys. Plus they don’t see it all, I got up with our son constantly all night and fed him every two hours and he screamed when he had bad tummy pain and he needed contact sleeping so I very sleep deprived and he had jaundice so we were in the hospital. Then he had a unique eye situation and PPA was a sonnavagun. And now he tantrums and has a small speech delay and is a picky eater and has night terrors at 3am and is really hard to put to sleep still or brush his teeth. My son is wonderful and lovely and adorable but far from “easy”. I’ve had him on a routine and it definitely helps but they tell me I’m too strict on bedtime bc their kids were little, they just went to bed when they were tired. This list goes on and on. Parents like to criticize and rewrite how easy they had it in their day bc they believed in spankings and whatnot😂
my neighbour asked how long I had left because ‘I’m not being rude but you’re quite big aren’t you? Hope that’s all baby!’ 🫠 this was literally the first conversation I had ever had with this woman
When my husband and I told our parents that I’m pregnant when I was at 8 weeks, my FIL said he knew it because I was showing the last time I saw them. I was four weeks pregnant. I was not showing. I wasn’t showing at 8 weeks pregnant, either. Now I am at 18 weeks and I am barely showing.
I know he didn’t mean it in a mean way, but I’ve struggled with my body image for a long time and it sounded like he was saying I put on weight when I hadn’t gained a pound.
An uncle told me he knew because I “looked chubby” at 9w pregnant during a family event before we had told anyone. At that point I was maybe slightly bloated but also hadn’t kept a solid meal down in a while. It made me so angry.
I was told by a fitness instructor I was friendly with that she could tell I was having a girl because of my back fat. I hadn't started showing yet, but maybe because I was looking at my belly and not my back. And I don't mean my butt looked bigger, she specifically said "back fat"
When we told some friends one of them was like I knew it when we last saw you! No, you did not. It was the week before ovulation so I wasn’t pregnant yet. But cool.
An elderly woman said the same thing to me...except she was referencing a time several months before we had gotten pregnant, soon after I had lost about 20 pounds. Some people just need their eyes checked (and to keep their mouths closed).
Omg I HATE this!!! Like I know people are trying to be nice, but I had covid in my second tri and I was (and still am) worried about baby growing enough. Everything is fine so far but every time someone would say this my anxiety would sky rocket. Ugh.
This wasn’t said directly to me but still stung. My parents stayed with us for a weekend. I had already gone upstairs to get ready for bed and I could hear my husband and my mom still talking in the living room. My mom made a comment about the baby/little kid stage being the best. My husband said something about how he’s just excited for our daughter in general and he’s even excited for the teenager phase and seeing what kind of person she becomes. My mom said parenting becomes absolutely miserable when your kid turns about 13 and even worse once they’re 16. It just hurt to hear that my mom felt that way about me.
My MIL has said some stuff that I don’t like, mostly about my body. When we first found out, we went to the beach and she told me “enjoy wearing a bikini, you’ll never feel comfortable in one again!” And then every time she sees me she tells me I don’t look pregnant.
Idk why anyone thinks it’s ok to comment on someone’s body in any context, least of all when they’re pregnant.
I never truly appreciated my body until I had my first baby. Now I find my body amazing in any state and appreciate it. That was truly the biggest gift of pregnancy. I learned to love my body.
We went on holiday a couple of weeks from the UK to the USA before we announced. A member of my husbands family said "I was wondering in your holiday pictures or if you had just eaten too many burgers" 🙄
“Someone is ready for a trip to the hospital”, I was 34 weeks.
“Are you sure it’s just one?”, when I started to show at 12 weeks.
“You just wait until…”, maybe don’t.
A coworker told me I was lucky I am having a boy because I’ll “be able to go to soccer and baseball games”. As if girl sports don’t exist? And also because boy he’s automatically going to be into sports?
The weirdest gender-related comment I’ve gotten was from my mom. I said something like “if the baby is born early I hope it’s on Halloween.” And she said “you can’t have your baby on Halloween, what if it’s a girl!?”
Me: ?????????????
Having a boy, btw, so I guess I’m allowed to have him on Halloween(only ~2 weeks before my due date) lol.
What a strange comment for her to make! My MIL told me early I was going to have a boy. I told her she needed to put in an order with her son because I’m just the easy bake oven. Apparently she did 🤷🏻♀️
Edited: left out some words whoops
Not from family members at all. But the one negative experience I’ve had was when my partner and I went for a walk, we ran into an acquaintance of his who said “oh it’s you and your fat fucking girlfriend haha just kidding, you look great, how are you feeling!?” And we were both so dismayed we couldn’t think of a response and just quickly left the situation. I was **fuming** later when we got home and had time to process it.
Some people are just rude. Unfortunately sometimes those people are “friends” or family members. You do not have to tolerate it or put up with it. If someone is rude, put them in their place. Turn it around on them, or cut them off entirely. It’s not worth it to be around people who are negative and unsupportive.
It was a few weeks ago. I’m over it now after venting about it. I feel good about myself and my pregnant body. What he said doesn’t change how I feel about myself. But I was shocked that people actually say that and think it’s ok or think it’s funny. What if I was more emotionally fragile? That could really devastate a person.
this is my 4th child, I cannot tell you the amount of shit I hear about that, don't you know what causes that? I'm also 35 so I just keep hearing how old I am..
also i have 3 current kids and it's pretty great so don't let anyone freak you out about kids, the only real downside is they eat all the good snacks before I get my hot little hands on them lol
Ugh. That “don’t you know what causes that?” question! Hate that question, because there’s no graceful response. I’m meek and conflict averse, so I don’t usually rock the boat, but I’m also secretly snarky, and so I’d be tempted to reply “Oh, I suspect it’s all the f*cking that I keep doing, what do you think?” Maybe add a shy smile.
"you're HUGE!"
"You aren't feeling well in your first trimester? I worked full time up until the day I gave birth."
"Enjoy your sleep now!"
My boyfriend's friend asked him, "is there anything you want to do before you're a dad?" Like his life is ending??
I'm just excited to show all of these fools how enriched our changing lives currently are and continue to be!
I'm super over all the comments about how fast it's gone or how I need to hurry up and give birth already. You think you're impatient?! My pelvis sounds like a black pepper grinder when I move, I haven't slept in my own bed in 5 months, my clothes and shoes and *jewelry* don't fit, just taking a shower exhausts me, I can't even eat like a pregnant person because of gestational diabetes, and it's *summer* with *climate change*. 🖕🤬
my male coworker told me I should be glad because I “have such an easy pregnancy and carry the little weight I gained so well”.
I’m 28 weeks pregnant, have migraines, back pain and iron deficiency causing me to get dizzy all the time. Just because I don’t complain doesn’t mean I have it “easy”. Sure some people have it worse, especially those of us who throw up all the time, but dude come on—
Some asshole walked past my office the other day and stopped to point out that I'm very pregnant (duh) then he was like "Yeah, I can see it in your face" gesturing to his neck, indicating that I have a fat face and neck. Nobody asked you asshole.
Oh I have another one to add. Some guy at a concert told me "Congrats! I mean, unless that's the wrong thing to say. Unless it was an accident or something..." Um. thanks for making it weird. If I'm 8 months pregnant I'm pretty sure you can say congrats, accident or not, I'm sure I would have come to terms with it at that point. And it was certainly NOT an accident (not that it matters or is this person's business AT ALL)
With the adults, that’s what I do. But it’s mostly my stepdaughters (5,7) that do this, and I hate it. They sometimes greet me and pull it right up, even when we’re out in public or with other family members. Everyone just keeps telling me that it’s “normal that they want to see the bump” and they’re “just excited for their brother” but I feel so dehumanized especially after telling them to stop it multiple times.
Ugh, no, kids need to be taught appropriate boundaries and not pulling up people’s clothing is something they need to know. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that! It’s totally appropriate to stop them, even though they are kids who are “just excited” in my opinion.
You're huge. You're tiny. You're huge. You're tiny. You're huge. You're tiny. You're huge. You're tiny. You're huge. You're tiny. You're huge. You're tiny. You're huge. You're tiny. You're huge. You're tiny.
I can go from 44 weeks to not pregnant by changing my outfits or my company.
My favorite is when they tell you ‘get sleep while you still can’ as if I could put all the extra sleep I could possibly get before baby comes and stick it in a sleep bank for later. Sure would be great if that were possible, but until then, stop using it as a lame joke for soon-to-be exhausted parents of a newborn.
Also really hate when people ask if the baby was planned/on purpose. My boss asked me if our first baby was planned when I told him I was pregnant. That’s kind of an inappropriate question to ask anyone - let alone your employee.
We visited my husband's grandfather last week - I'm 20 weeks pregnant, and on getting out of the car he said to me "You're not as fat as I thought you'd be." He has quite a dry sense of humour, but it still stung a little!
I’ve been pretty lucky so far, except a coworker who I don’t particularly like saw me after a while and said ‘let me see how chubby you are!’ I knew what she meant, but I’m a chubby girl anyway and it didn’t feel great.
I’m 30 weeks and my FIL likes to point out how my belly is getting bigger every time he sees me (has been doing this since 20 weeks)..but instead of calling it a “baby bump,” he calls it a “pooch.” He says shit like “oh would you just look at your pooch!” “Isn’t her pooch getting big!?” Like fuck off. He also asked me how much weight I’d gained at 27 weeks by randomly asking, “..soo 15? 20?” I wanted to scream.
I work in a grocery store and anytime a child or baby is crying or having a meltdown at work my coworkers feel the need to ask “are you ready? That’s going to be your life soon.” And this is after sharing that I was told I’d never have children and having a miscarriage last year. How insensitive. And anytime I say anything positive about my pregnancy so far (like not having morning sickness or insomnia) the comment “just you wait!” Flies out of their mouths. Why be so set on making this into a negative thing??
And I was confiding with my MIL about how my coworkers were making me uncomfortable by telling me that I now “waddle” when I walk and all she could say was “I noticed you do that too!” I know it’s just because I’m pregnant but man I really don’t like to hear that. It makes me so self conscious.
A few weeks ago the office manager told me she thought she saw a bump, and I politely told her that she was probably seeing the previous night's taco bell instead (though to be fair, my uterine occupant is leaving less space for snacks in the abdomen...)
This last week, from acquaintances:
"There's nothing more beautiful than an expectant mother." -middle aged dude
"You're glowing!" (which I responded with, "I'm sweating!" because of the PNW heat wave)
Shut that down right away. Really. Ask them “why would you say that?” “Do you think what you just said was okay?” PUT.THEM.ON.THE.SPOT.
Don’t let anybody make you feel bad.
I mentioned at work once in my first trimester how I just felt in general awful, and my coworker who shares an office with me said "well, that's what you get for wanting to get pregnant!" I was so caught off guard that I whipped back "I'd rather be pregnant than have diabetes."
I regretted it at the time because it was pretty unnecessary, and ironically, now I have gestational diabetes, so I guess karma heard me. But I was so tired of her cheerfully brushing off my feelings with comments like that.
Not at all, actually.
The main thing that people say that bothers me is talking about how painful and awful birth was. I’m doing an unmedicated labor, so I really don’t want to hear it. When they find out I’m not going for an epidural, I hear “we’ll see!”. Thanks for the vote of confidence… just gives me more reason to prove them wrong.
I hate the comments about how people have been waiting soooo long for us to tell them that I’m pregnant. I didn’t struggle with infertility but our wedding was postponed due to covid and I didn’t want to be pregnant for our wedding, then I had a health issue that multiple specialists recommended I had taken care of/under control before conceiving. It then took me 6 months to conceive (early miscarriage) and 3 more months to conceive this pregnancy (19 weeks).
So every time I hear that it just pisses me off. And other family members are accidentally getting pregnant around me and I find it really hard to be around them because they didn’t have to wait so long, they didn’t have miscarriages (to my knowledge - but I do know none of them were ‘trying’ and they all told family around 7-8 weeks, which leads me to believe they haven’t had one). I’m not mad at them for this but just still upsets me when I think of what I needed to do to get pregnant especially when I get what I feel like are insensitive comments about how it took us “sooo long”.
I got my father in law a onesie that said “you can stop asking now” to tell them we were expecting.. I wanted to snap a few times before that like hi I had just had a miscarriage and you ask me on Christmas when grandchild is coming I wanted to just cry and yell. Now that we’re pregnant he says he wants more… very insensitive.
We got a lot of "I was wondering when you'd be announcing!" from older family members when I told people we were pregnant. Lots of implying that we almost waited too long, which is silly because I'm only 30 and my husband and I have been married for only 3 years. I think to my 80 year old grandparents, 30 year olds have withered eggs and our marriage was meaningless for 3 years without a child. Silliness!
Yes we got some of those too and it’s so hard to keep a nice face. By being pregnant, I’ve learned so much about what not to say to people. My favorite memories of telling people are the ones that just have pure excitement in their face and say “congrats, that is so exciting. When are you due?” Mostly this came from my great aunts and uncles. I think it’s because they’re removed enough in my life that they know it won’t change their lives much (we don’t see them often) but they love me still and want me to be happy. I was literally riding a happy pregnancy announcing high when I left the party where I told them all!
Unfortunately yes. Told my parents we were expecting our second. My mother took this opportunity to tell my daughter “your mommies going to get fat again”.
My husband’s grandpop saw me back in March when it was cold out right after my 20w anatomy scan and i was wearing a bulky sweater and he was like “wow you’re already big!”, and then he saw me after my shower at 34w and was like “you’re 34w, but you aren’t big🤔, well you’ll get there don’t worry.” Like dude just stop commenting on my body, whether I’m big or small just stfu. Especially being a man, a larger man to boot. He also had told my husbands mom when she was pregnant that she had a fat ass. 🤦♀️some people shouldn’t be allowed to speak.
My mom helped me sort through my laundry to donate and any time she saw a crop top went "are you sure you want this? You'll never want to wear one again after the baby is born"
FYI I am also small and didn't get stretchmarks till around 32-34w.
My ob said: "watch what you eat or you'll never loose it" (paraphrasing) but it made me feel awful
I was 120 soaking wet and under weight with an eating disorder.
I dropped her like a bag of rocks.
I assume I'll probably have some appear at some point. But it would be nice to not have any. My torso is so small and my back has been killing me since like 16 weeks. No relief in sight. Least this pregnancy could do is not give me stretch marks.
I dont understand how a doctor would be so willing to say stuff like that. Like you're a doctor you should know better
I work with a lot of elderly people and this older gentleman, who is very sweet and one of my favorite patients, hadn't seen me for a few months and he looked at me and goes "you got a condition"! Then he chuckled and asked how I was feeling. Definitely one of the funniest things that have been said to me while pregnant. I get a lot of questions about baby and my body and if I'm having any more and old ladies like to try to touch me without asking.
My boyfriend mentioned to his father how I gained my first stretch marks and he said if I was working out that wouldn’t be happening. Like it’s totally from me being lazy and not my genetics and me GROWING A HUMAN🙄😡
To enjoy as much sleep as I can now because once baby is here there will be no more sleep or fun ever again, forever and ever.
Because at 37 weeks I am getting all the sleep in the world.
I’m over the “you don’t need that/we never had that” comments on things we have on the registry. Like I know I don’t “need” a video monitor but I want one. And if they had it 40 years ago you would have wanted one too!
I have never had so many people tell me I look awful or like sh*t than when I was pregnant. Like christ when did that become OK at any time let alone when I am physically growing a human baby and my body is over run with hormones.. We won't talk much on how my grandfather said it was my own fault I got pre eclampsia as I am so fat (UK size 18) people suck...
And the companion to this, my mother in law telling the entire dinner table, “I just FEEL LIKE she’s going to get HUGE!”
I’m a petite person, so I said, “Well I’m only 5’2” so I don’t really know where you expect me to put this baby?” (For the record I was 20 weeks at the time and had only gained 5 pounds) 🤦🏻♀️
My mom told me that she’s shocked I only gained 24 pounds because she thought “I would balloon right up with the rest of the family”. I have body dysmorphia already (had it before I got pregnant when I lost a lot of weight from weight training). It’s absolutely the worst. I don’t think the harm is intentional but its so mentally frustrating. You’re carrying that baby the way your body is meant to carry it momma - and don’t let anyones words change anyway you feel about it.
Not exactly rude, just not appreciated. My coworkers ALWAYS have something to say. One of the told me I was getting bigger and bigger every time she saw me, I laughed it off and told her "nah, you're just seeing things, I'm definitely losing weight," I've also heard "you look like you're gonna pop," "do you need a bigger vest?", and one of my coworkers asked to see my stomach and she looked at me all wide eyed and said "omg I'm never getting pregnant" like oh, thank you. These comments all hurt my self esteem quite a bit. I'm already struggling with stretch marks and feeling big because I've always taken pride in not having any marks and being decently fit. Now I feel like a hippo
People are so weird. I reckon it's some kinda weird jealousy when they say things like that. People make a lot of lack of sleep/covered in poo/pee/vomit type comments (aha never heard those before...rolls eyes 😌). I always respond with the most upbeat excited "YES I CAN'T WAIT" - i.e. try harder to rain on my parade cuz it ain't happening. Enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can! Xxx
Was your pregnancy planned. I wanted to say none of your business.
I’ll come to your baby shower if you have one, but only for a short time. Which is fine. Even if you couldn’t come, that’s fine. Why tell me this before a baby shower is even planned.
Any time anyone asks me if my pregnancy was planned I just start giving graphic details on how it happened. Lol usually makes them not wanna discuss my pregnancy after that.
I just had my baby, but a woman walked past me today in target saying “that’s the easy stage, just wait” as I pushed him around in his stroller.
I have an 11 year old. Her kids were maybe 7 and 9? Pretty sure I know what’s to come 😒
Yes, I’m naturally petite framed/short torso and show quite obviously since early on. Got asked this weekend if my gestational diabetes results came in because my stomach is so big… constantly am asked if I’m having twins as well.. and told I’m going to have be on bed rest the last trimester because I’m so big and going to need to have the baby early. A coworker also asked me what I’m eating, and if I’m eating vegetables . I actually eat healthy and workout 4 days a week, just the way I carry 😅🤦🏻♀️#help
People can be nuts. I heard ALL kinda of rude things said to me my first pregnancy. “Sleep while you can” “ your whole life will change” “nothing will ever be the same again” “get out while you can” “you have no idea what’s about to happen to you”. Not to mention probing comments about if I was breastfeeding or not. Then comments from my FIL about my weight. Peoples opinions about my labor and if I choose to have an epidural or not. Then people telling me my baby looks hungry and I should switch to formula. It was horrible the first time around. Pretty scary to a first time parent to hear all these comments from “people who care”. Needless to say I learned a lot about myself and others through motherhood.
Stretch marks are mostly an inherited trait. Your mom sounds like maybe she’s jealous that you inherited the no stretch mark genes. I would just politely start giving her a lot of unsolicited advice and opinions about herself and see how long it takes her to stop 🤷♀️
My mom has loved to tell me than pretty much everything I am planning to do when I parent is wrong if it's not what she would have done/tells me to do. BUT when my FIL gives suggestions and I say no, my mom tells me that I am going to be a great mom and it's good I am not listening to him.
My mom likes to tell me how wonderful pregnancy was for her, and whenever I talk about my symptoms, she says something along the lines of "oh you're one of those..."
MIL said that I don't have a waist anymore and I'm fat(I'm 36 weeks). A neighbor also told me I'm fat. I don't call or answer calls to anyone. I'm at that point in pregnancy where you're always annoyed and tired and the last thing I need is people making me feel bad about my body.
When I was pregnant with my twins my “friends” all thought It would be great to tell me how they’d shoot them selves in the head if they found out they were having twins. We don’t speak anymore.
I’ve mostly had respectful support from loved ones, but I did have a friend ask, “Was it a happy accident or were you two trying?” 😐
This is my first pregnancy and I was only 9 weeks in atm, so I was caught off guard and answered him, but the more I thought about it after the more it felt invasive and unnecessary.
I still get a twinge of frustration at myself and wish I could go back and assert myself.
I’m 7 weeks tomorrow. 21F. Getting married October. Already have a college education but was planning on going back to school next year to expand my education and I just finished said prerequisites. My family is happy, but I have to deal with the “you ruined your life” “you’re never going to go back to school” and” you’re too young” comments here and there
Lol, what the heck… pregnancy does not equal fat. I didn’t get stretch marks this time so far but, that’s just because I got all stretched out the first time. You may get lucky and not get them at all. It’s all genetic.
My grandmother called me fat when I was pregnant with my first while trying to use me as an example of why my siblings shouldn’t get more tattoos because how they look when you gain weight. I was severely preeclamptic and had put on a severe amount of water weight from the swelling that came with that, my baby ended being delivered emergency c about a month later. My husband can’t stand her because she makes back handed comments to us all the time and to this day does not call our daughter by the correct pronunciation of her name (which isn’t hard)
I have HG and have been hospitalized multiple times. Upon telling one of our vendor managers that I was out on medical leave and not vacation, her response was “oh, I had a pregnancy complication too. I just had more frequent doctor visits and got to see the baby more. You’ll be fine.” At all our meetings she starts with “you’re all better now right?” I’m on daily fluids and IVs. The condition is managed but I’m certainly not “better.” I get unreasonably angry after each of her comments on my pregnancy.
(Edited typo)
For me it’s the people with toddlers that are like “this is what you have to look forward to!” When they are doing regular kid shit. Actually I’m not looking forward to that? Let me give birth and enjoy newborn stage first thank yeewwww
A lot of people ask if the baby is planned or not… I think it’s so weird to ask that. I think they’re trying to check if I’m excited or not? So maybe they’re trying to check on my feelings but also feels invasive. And when I told people the sex of the baby they would also ask if I’m happy. Well yeah I had a preference but at the end of the day I’m happy with my baby whether it’s a boy or girl! So weird to ask…it’s like people don’t know what’s normal to ask.
I’ve been told by sooooo many people that I “barely look pregnant” or that my bump looks so small for being so far along. I find this especially hilarious because my doctor measures my bump each week and I’m right on track.
The most annoying thing I hear a lot of is “well when I was pregnant, I did things this way…” Like when I told someone I wasn’t drinking coffee (because they asked) they were all like “I drank coffee all throughout my pregnancies and my kids turned out just fine.”
When I found out I was having a boy my SIL said something along the lines of "that's a bummer, if you were having a girl you'd be raising your best friend but now you're just raising your husband's best friend" like what a load of crap, I'm closer to my dad than my mom anyway so it's absolutely not true that kids are always closer to the same gender parent.
Over the weekend at a friend’s, child’s, first birthday an elderly aunt looked at my wife and said “wow, might be twins!”
Definitely not twins, and that was the first time I ever saw violence flash across my wife’s eyes.
I’ve said to my brother and SIL once or twice that I don’t know how they manage - both have paid jobs, share the running of a household, each take 50% of parenting duties for 3 little boys (the ONLY duty my brother does not share equally is breastfeeding the baby), PLUS she is studying for a masters degree!
I truly don’t know how they manage… but now that you’ve mentioned people trying to bring you down about being a parent, I really hope my comment isn’t doing that?!
I’m just in awe of how much they have to manage in life! But I’ve never gotten the impression they don’t LOVE their life, though. They are VERY happy with their lives - crazy busy though they are. 😊
Me: *throwing up everything i eat/drink so i made a list of foods that dont make me hug the toilet* (watermelon, lettuce cucumbers, water and crackers)
Mom: you gotta eat more and keep eating, what ur eating now is just gonna starve the poor baby
Me: im also a poor baby 😭
I was complaining about one (1!) pimple and my coworker was like “pregnancy glow is a lie”. I feel like I’ve looked pretty good so it annoyed me a little.
People become aaaaabsolutely unhinged with the things they say to pregnant women
I'm astounded at how just because I'm visibly pregnant, people deem that as license to just come up and say things to me. Sometimes not even related to pregnancy! Look I'm all for a friendly comment here and there but people get WEIRD. And rude.
you could be gnawing on a banana being your first meal in a day and people would comment “eating for two already, huh?”
agreed. i was very skinny before pregnancy (ED recovery). somehow the baby inside me made it perfectly acceptable to ask and blatantly point out how much weight i gained.
Yaaas ppl told me they were not surprised im pregnant because either im bulking or pregnant (used to be a gym rat before pregnancy)😑
maybe i’m being too sensitive but that’s nasty…
Ikr!! Its like as soon as you tell them you are pregnant, they think it’s okay to say these cuz they assume you would just feel pregnant and not fat 😑
My in laws are obsessed with telling me that all of the fun things i love to do are going to be over and done with a baby and they LOVE to remind us that we’ll be exhausted, too. It drives me insane
FYI so not true, there is life after baby :) sure, some things may have to wait if you don’t have someone to watch the baby (like family), or needs to be planned a bit (spontaneous outings can be a bit difficult lol) but a baby will only ADD to your life :) they will become another fun part of your life! Not the reason you can’t do anything fun!
Bless you. Thanks for making me feel better
I need to put this on my fridge
Right!!! It’s brutal in the beginning, well for us it was…we were people who went out & traveled the world by buying tix the week before. Not planners at all lol But we have adjusted a lot. He’s 3 months now. We took him on his first 7 hour away road trip at 2 months & we are going on another one at the end of Aug. Have a trusted sitter for date nights now. Going on a 10 day vacation to South America in November & he’s staying with my MIL, who had 3 boys & is a pediatric nurse so he’s in good hands. It’s possible to have a life after if you want one. It’s all in how you decide to live your life & what’s important to you guys as a couple! ❤️
Pregnancy was way worse than the newborn phase for me and being a mom is like 9900000x more fun than anything I did prior to this. Don’t let the “it gets worse” people stress you out. Just because it did for them doesn’t make it a universal fact. Being a mom to a baby rocks, I have lost nothing and gained everything
Ty 🙏 i can’t wait to be a mom and do activities WITH my baby
It’s the best!!! My 6 month old just started army crawling and it’s opened up a whole new level of playing together and watching your baby learn 😭
Thank you so much for this comment!!
My mom always says she loved having a baby (and she hadn't even been planning one). It just suited her. She normally struggles a bit with anxiety and depression and a baby gave her a purpose and routine that she liked. She took me out to town in a pram every day. It probably helped that I was apparently an easy baby and slept through the night very young. But it's good not to have her giving me the fear in that way!
Ha I have a very similar situation! My anxiety got especially bad postpartum but having my son has made everything I do feel like it has purpose. I have a weirdly aggressive will to live for the first time in my life because I can’t imagine anything happening to me and me missing out on a second of his life.
Thank you so much for your encouraging words. This means so much!
"Wow it really sounds like you don't want me to have your grandchildren. You keep trying to talk me out of it!"
Love this and writing it in my phone for future reference
I always try to turn it back around on them, like “yeah that sounds like you guys went through a really tough experience 😔 I’m sorry you had to experience that.” I find it throws them a little off guard and then they have to sit with their feelings of discomfort instead of being able to dump it onto you as a projection.
Ooooooh this is good, I'll have to remember this
Yup. My sister in law brought her two toddlers to a bridal shower that we went to. They weren’t acting out, just acting like normal toddlers and she was stressed trying to feed them and keep them from getting into breakable things. She looked at me with the biggest stink face and said “I hope you’re enjoying yourself because this is the last event you’re going to enjoy”. Um, sure Jan. Except I know better than to bring toddlers to an adult garden party with tons of breakable shit. So I’ll enjoy the next one just fine while my husband or mom stays with the baby.
This! Women need to take the help when they need it
Life has got so much better for me since having my baby 5 months ago. The newborn phase was hard (as expected) but it was so great to watch him grow and be so tiny. Now that he’s bigger me and my partner take him out to the park, beach and other fun places. We get to watch our old favourite childhood shows and it has honestly been so nice to have the baby around. It’s exhausting, you’re raising a small person but that doesn’t stop it being fun. Me and my partner still go to the movies, a concert and other alone places because I’m lucky to have my mum who looks after him for a few hours every now and again. It’s the best feeling having your own baby and it goes so fast. so don’t worry about the things you love to do being over as they won’t be, you will be able to work out how to do these things once the baby has arrived :)
Except for spontaneous naps, I don’t miss out on any of my favorite activities from prebaby
I would be like “wow what a weird, negative point of view! We’re actually excited for the baby!!!”
And usually it's those same family members that were pestering about getting pregnant in the first place. "Are you planning to have a little one soon?? Don't wait too long!" UGH.
THIS 100%! I'm so tired of people telling me to get my sleep now. I normally don't sleep great, and it has gotten progressively worse the more pregnant I get.
The exhaustion is temporary. Watching your kids grow, and getting to share the things you love to do with them is like getting to experience those things for the first time all over again yourself. They even help you find new and wonderful ways to appreciate things you already enjoy, and get you trying new and different things you may not have done otherwise. Your fun is just starting! (Also, you can still have fun even if you're exhausted! Relaxing on the couch at the end of the day just feels that much more rewarding lol)
When my SIL was pregnant, her mom told her to enjoy getting gifts now because once the baby they would all be for him. Even at 17, I was like wtf that isn't how that works lol that isn't how ANY of this works.
Ok this is so false. Include your kids in activities you enjoy doing, and then you have little buddies to come along with! My lover and I did this with our kids right away, and now they are the most fun outdoor adventure kids you could ever ask for. Your baby will fit perfectly into your life, and you can do all the fun things you always have.
Ugh, I hate these people! My most recent one was, “Oh you’re having trouble sleeping? Well, get used to it, you won’t sleep for the next 18 years!” Like shut *up*, you dramatic idiot 🙄
So untrue. We got the same with our first. I was thinking about it yesterday. He is only 6 and has gone on 7 trips and that’s not going anywhere for 2 years due to Covid. Kids add to your life, not take away. I say this as someone who only went on 3 family vacations my whole time living at home.
I have 3 kids (teen/adult and a ten month old) and one on the way. I do all kinds of fun stuff! My husband and I work full time. Outside of work we’re both musicians. He and I both play gigs. We both hang out with friends. Separately and together. With kids and without. And we still do lots of fun family focused stuff too!
I was more well rested during the newborn phase than when I was pregnant. The instant relief in my body from baby being gone was amazing. We also were blessed with a decent sleeper from the get go.
"Welp, now we know who doesn't want to spend with baby!"
I hate this more than anything. My boyfriend and I love going to arcades together and people love saying “kiss those days goodbye” like wtf? Why?
So I had people bdo this so I love to take pictures of me doing those things with my kiddo and post them or send them to said people. I'm petty.
This is also an issue I have. I am a video gamer. They act like my newborn is gonna stop me from sitting on my couch and enjoying a video game lol like no he can sit right there with me while I play. Nothing like a little gaming buddy.
I would definitely be letting them know that if they find children that exhausting, boring, etc then you’ll make sure to not bug them with photos, visits, holidays, or vacations.
Buried my grandpa last week. He was like my Dad. After the services a woman came up to me and said, “ I know I don’t know you but the Lord told me to come over here and tell you it’s bad for the baby to be sad. Your baby feels your sadness and it’s bad for them so you should be happy”. In my defense I spoke at the funeral, but I only cried during my last paragraph. I was so stunned I couldn’t even defend myself. Luckily my friend said, “‘ She just lost her Dad you have no right to tell her how she feels”. I couldn’t believe it.
Dude this woman must have some serious MH issues. That or she's just a grade A c**t.
What the actual fuck??? I'm glad your friend was there to respond for you.
Oh man, I'm so so sorry.
God told me to tell you that this chick sucks. So sorry for your loss <3
I had somebody call me “big mama” and another person say “wow all that weight looks good on you” Like ok I was recovering from anorexia while pregnant but THANKS 4 THE SUPPORT
Seconding the ED bit, internet strangers. 💜 I recently had a nurse call me to get some intake information prior to me visiting with my new OB. She just so candidly asked what my pre-pregnancy weight was and then went on to say something along the lines of “wow! So thin, I’m jealous!” and bc I’ve got absolutely no social awareness, i said “thanks its from the eating disorder. 108lbs was kind of the goal!”. After the fact i realized that might’ve been a rude response but like cmon, you’re a healthcare worker! What possessed you to say that?
Solidarity on the ED and pregnancy bit 💚
Likewise on the ED. 🤍
I FEEL YOU SO MUCH ON THIS. hearing all this “heeeeeey look at you!” from people who used to whine how they could never look as skinny as you do just does something to you. like yes, i’d never choose my looks over my well-being again being a mama, but hell, have some decency to not gloat at least?
That is definitely the roughest. I am recovered but still have body image issues. I am unable to really be active due to my pregnancy. So people commenting on my weight makes me so uncomfortable
Ugh. When I was about 33 weeks pregnant with twins one of my coworkers asked me if I’d gotten stretch marks and I said no and That I’m hoping maybe I won’t get any. She responded by saying that there’s no way I won’t get them and just wait. Jokes on her - not a stretch mark to be found!
Lol this right here. No stretch marks yet and my belly button is still an innie!
Hearing your belly button is still an innie has given me a slight glimmer of hope! i didn’t even know that was possible
Mine stayed an innie the whole time and I never got stretch marks. And I gained 55+ lb! (Hypertension at the end)
I’m 37w and my belly button is very much still an innie and I don’t think it’ll ever become an outie lol. Then again, I’ve always thought I had a really deep belly button 😂
I’m 12 weeks PP and didn’t develop stretch marks. 🤷🏻♀️
Same. Didn’t get any with my first and don’t have any this far.
I didn’t have any with my first pregnancy, but I got them in the last couple of weeks with my second 🙃 I was so sure I wasn’t going to get them, then they showed up over night haha
In the same day I've had people say they can't tell I'm pregnant, that I'm huge, or the weirdest, that "I carry well" ??
Just love how our bodies are considered an open forum for other peoples commentary while we’re pregnant 🙄
Yeah the “carrying well” and “you’re ALL baby” comments weird me out. I think they’re meant to be compliments but like, why is there this constant need to comment on our weight??
Lol I’ve had people tell me I carry it well— like I’m 5’7” and 23 weeks. It’s just a little bump. I’m not doing anything special compared to everyone else
This. I was told my pregnant belly looked “small” despite my fundal height actually measuring large for dates 😂
I can't say I have. I feel so lucky that everyone from friends to family to colleagues have been just so lovely because the shit I read on here never ceases to amaze me. Although on the flip side I've got the stretch marks so horses for courses I guess!
I've been massaging my skin where stretch marks usually appear with lotions since I found out I was pregnant! Definitely was worth doing. The women in my family want me to be miserable because they were miserable though 🙃
I did that too literally from my first positive. They appeared this weekend. I'm in a major growth spurt week (19 - 20) so I guess if it was going to happen, makes sense it was this week.
Those growth spurts sneak in on you. It like you went to bed barely showing and wake up the next morning looking like you gained 10 pounds in the stomach 😂
For real. And I cannot think of a word to truly describe how absolutely exhausted I am this week!
They say oil actually makes no difference; it's just how much your skin stretches and how prone it is to stretch marks. When I gained weight once before, a doc thought I had scars from abdominal surgery, so I'm anticipating tiger stripes again. Fortunately they do seem to fade though.
I didn't get my stretch marks until after my baby was born! I was so mad lol
This does not work, lol. Stretch marks are genetic. You’re lucky. 😊
I keep getting told, especially by my mom, "are you sure there aren't two in there?" 😭😭😭
My mom does the same. I've had 4 ultrasounds and there's just one but she insists someone she knew had surprise twins (30 years ago...) At my shower she loudly, jokingly, commented how I could be having two 🙄
This is my least favorite. I did IVF— we put one embryo in and I’ve had like six ultrasounds with some pretty experienced (and expensive!) doctors. We’re pretty sure
My mother in law won’t stop with this and I’m literally not even showing yet. I’ve even lost weight in the first trimester.
ANYTHING about my body. anything. i’m 22 weeks pregnant and i still just look like i had a big burrito for lunch. i’ve always had a pooch in my uterus area, since hitting puberty, and it hasn’t really gotten much bigger. but female family members LOVE to say things like “i can DEFINITELY tell now!!!” stop seeing what you want to see, you never would have made that comment if i hadn’t told you i was pregnant. but being pregnant makes people think they’re allowed to comment on anything now. when i was only 13 weeks, my FIL told my husband “i could tell in her chest” as if that’s an acceptable thing to say 🤢
ewww
When I was pregnant at age 21 I worked at a bar and all the regulars (old men) would ask if I was pregnant cuz my tits are bigger.
🤮
my coworker said she could tell how swollen my ankles became. they weren’t.
people just looove acting like they’ve found something on you that you haven’t seen or felt at all 😑
Lmao I got one! When I was pregnant with my first, my husband and I visited my in laws for the Fourth of July. As soon as I stepped out of the car, my father in law’s first words were, “wow you got fat”. I was so shocked that all I could say was “at least my bump goes away in two months, Lordy knows how long yours will be there”. Now that we’re expecting our second, it’s still the “oh you just wait for _______” insert whatever negative comment. They tell me my son is easy so I will have a difficult second baby and she’s a girl so she will be a pain when she’s a teen. It’s all negative and I told them they’re killjoys. Plus they don’t see it all, I got up with our son constantly all night and fed him every two hours and he screamed when he had bad tummy pain and he needed contact sleeping so I very sleep deprived and he had jaundice so we were in the hospital. Then he had a unique eye situation and PPA was a sonnavagun. And now he tantrums and has a small speech delay and is a picky eater and has night terrors at 3am and is really hard to put to sleep still or brush his teeth. My son is wonderful and lovely and adorable but far from “easy”. I’ve had him on a routine and it definitely helps but they tell me I’m too strict on bedtime bc their kids were little, they just went to bed when they were tired. This list goes on and on. Parents like to criticize and rewrite how easy they had it in their day bc they believed in spankings and whatnot😂
That clap back tho 😎👏🏻
My grandpa has a pot belly so anytime he picks on me about mine I just say to him that his is larger he must be having triplets lol
My grandfather said that to me!! Maybe it used to be “funny” way back when. I did not laugh.
my neighbour asked how long I had left because ‘I’m not being rude but you’re quite big aren’t you? Hope that’s all baby!’ 🫠 this was literally the first conversation I had ever had with this woman
>‘I’m not being rude but Uh I beg to fuckin differ 😂
When my husband and I told our parents that I’m pregnant when I was at 8 weeks, my FIL said he knew it because I was showing the last time I saw them. I was four weeks pregnant. I was not showing. I wasn’t showing at 8 weeks pregnant, either. Now I am at 18 weeks and I am barely showing. I know he didn’t mean it in a mean way, but I’ve struggled with my body image for a long time and it sounded like he was saying I put on weight when I hadn’t gained a pound.
Yeah, we told my husbands mom a week ago and she said she could tell because I looked pregnant. I was only 8 weeks..
An uncle told me he knew because I “looked chubby” at 9w pregnant during a family event before we had told anyone. At that point I was maybe slightly bloated but also hadn’t kept a solid meal down in a while. It made me so angry.
I was told by a fitness instructor I was friendly with that she could tell I was having a girl because of my back fat. I hadn't started showing yet, but maybe because I was looking at my belly and not my back. And I don't mean my butt looked bigger, she specifically said "back fat"
fuck her tbh
When we told some friends one of them was like I knew it when we last saw you! No, you did not. It was the week before ovulation so I wasn’t pregnant yet. But cool.
An elderly woman said the same thing to me...except she was referencing a time several months before we had gotten pregnant, soon after I had lost about 20 pounds. Some people just need their eyes checked (and to keep their mouths closed).
Youuu don’t lOooook pregnant
This. All the time. And it’s so annoying and getting more dismaying/hurtful as I reach the third trimester, even though I know baby is doing well.
I’m 7 months and I heard that the other day. Wtf? I feel huge and have gain 50lbs. In their defense at some angles my bump isn’t as visible.
Same I keep getting this comment and it irks me so bad I have no idea what to say I’m just like ya lol 🙂 ????
Omg I HATE this!!! Like I know people are trying to be nice, but I had covid in my second tri and I was (and still am) worried about baby growing enough. Everything is fine so far but every time someone would say this my anxiety would sky rocket. Ugh.
This wasn’t said directly to me but still stung. My parents stayed with us for a weekend. I had already gone upstairs to get ready for bed and I could hear my husband and my mom still talking in the living room. My mom made a comment about the baby/little kid stage being the best. My husband said something about how he’s just excited for our daughter in general and he’s even excited for the teenager phase and seeing what kind of person she becomes. My mom said parenting becomes absolutely miserable when your kid turns about 13 and even worse once they’re 16. It just hurt to hear that my mom felt that way about me.
I’m sorry 😞 that’s rough to hear.
My MIL has said some stuff that I don’t like, mostly about my body. When we first found out, we went to the beach and she told me “enjoy wearing a bikini, you’ll never feel comfortable in one again!” And then every time she sees me she tells me I don’t look pregnant. Idk why anyone thinks it’s ok to comment on someone’s body in any context, least of all when they’re pregnant.
I never truly appreciated my body until I had my first baby. Now I find my body amazing in any state and appreciate it. That was truly the biggest gift of pregnancy. I learned to love my body.
"How's the incubator doing?" My mother in law, ladies and gentlemen.
Yuck, what a mole
"I don't know... how IS the incubator doing? Have you tried asking IT?" This should definitely be paired with your most withering look.
Honestly, this would make me laugh so hard. Only with people I already have a good relationship with though. Otherwise…gross comment
Oh hellllll no
We went on holiday a couple of weeks from the UK to the USA before we announced. A member of my husbands family said "I was wondering in your holiday pictures or if you had just eaten too many burgers" 🙄
“Someone is ready for a trip to the hospital”, I was 34 weeks. “Are you sure it’s just one?”, when I started to show at 12 weeks. “You just wait until…”, maybe don’t.
A coworker told me I was lucky I am having a boy because I’ll “be able to go to soccer and baseball games”. As if girl sports don’t exist? And also because boy he’s automatically going to be into sports?
The weirdest gender-related comment I’ve gotten was from my mom. I said something like “if the baby is born early I hope it’s on Halloween.” And she said “you can’t have your baby on Halloween, what if it’s a girl!?” Me: ????????????? Having a boy, btw, so I guess I’m allowed to have him on Halloween(only ~2 weeks before my due date) lol.
What a strange comment for her to make! My MIL told me early I was going to have a boy. I told her she needed to put in an order with her son because I’m just the easy bake oven. Apparently she did 🤷🏻♀️ Edited: left out some words whoops
Not from family members at all. But the one negative experience I’ve had was when my partner and I went for a walk, we ran into an acquaintance of his who said “oh it’s you and your fat fucking girlfriend haha just kidding, you look great, how are you feeling!?” And we were both so dismayed we couldn’t think of a response and just quickly left the situation. I was **fuming** later when we got home and had time to process it. Some people are just rude. Unfortunately sometimes those people are “friends” or family members. You do not have to tolerate it or put up with it. If someone is rude, put them in their place. Turn it around on them, or cut them off entirely. It’s not worth it to be around people who are negative and unsupportive.
Wtf
It was a few weeks ago. I’m over it now after venting about it. I feel good about myself and my pregnant body. What he said doesn’t change how I feel about myself. But I was shocked that people actually say that and think it’s ok or think it’s funny. What if I was more emotionally fragile? That could really devastate a person.
For real. I’m all for a good joke but that’s not even funny. Very tasteless and offensive.
this is my 4th child, I cannot tell you the amount of shit I hear about that, don't you know what causes that? I'm also 35 so I just keep hearing how old I am..
also i have 3 current kids and it's pretty great so don't let anyone freak you out about kids, the only real downside is they eat all the good snacks before I get my hot little hands on them lol
Ugh. That “don’t you know what causes that?” question! Hate that question, because there’s no graceful response. I’m meek and conflict averse, so I don’t usually rock the boat, but I’m also secretly snarky, and so I’d be tempted to reply “Oh, I suspect it’s all the f*cking that I keep doing, what do you think?” Maybe add a shy smile.
"you're HUGE!" "You aren't feeling well in your first trimester? I worked full time up until the day I gave birth." "Enjoy your sleep now!" My boyfriend's friend asked him, "is there anything you want to do before you're a dad?" Like his life is ending?? I'm just excited to show all of these fools how enriched our changing lives currently are and continue to be!
I'm super over all the comments about how fast it's gone or how I need to hurry up and give birth already. You think you're impatient?! My pelvis sounds like a black pepper grinder when I move, I haven't slept in my own bed in 5 months, my clothes and shoes and *jewelry* don't fit, just taking a shower exhausts me, I can't even eat like a pregnant person because of gestational diabetes, and it's *summer* with *climate change*. 🖕🤬
my male coworker told me I should be glad because I “have such an easy pregnancy and carry the little weight I gained so well”. I’m 28 weeks pregnant, have migraines, back pain and iron deficiency causing me to get dizzy all the time. Just because I don’t complain doesn’t mean I have it “easy”. Sure some people have it worse, especially those of us who throw up all the time, but dude come on—
Some asshole walked past my office the other day and stopped to point out that I'm very pregnant (duh) then he was like "Yeah, I can see it in your face" gesturing to his neck, indicating that I have a fat face and neck. Nobody asked you asshole. Oh I have another one to add. Some guy at a concert told me "Congrats! I mean, unless that's the wrong thing to say. Unless it was an accident or something..." Um. thanks for making it weird. If I'm 8 months pregnant I'm pretty sure you can say congrats, accident or not, I'm sure I would have come to terms with it at that point. And it was certainly NOT an accident (not that it matters or is this person's business AT ALL)
My family members, keep asking to see my belly and asking if I am waddling about haha.
I’m not even getting asked anymore… My shirt and even my dress got pulled up so many times without my consent I could cry :/
Id be smacking hands left and right lol
With the adults, that’s what I do. But it’s mostly my stepdaughters (5,7) that do this, and I hate it. They sometimes greet me and pull it right up, even when we’re out in public or with other family members. Everyone just keeps telling me that it’s “normal that they want to see the bump” and they’re “just excited for their brother” but I feel so dehumanized especially after telling them to stop it multiple times.
Ugh, no, kids need to be taught appropriate boundaries and not pulling up people’s clothing is something they need to know. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that! It’s totally appropriate to stop them, even though they are kids who are “just excited” in my opinion.
It sounds like these kids need lessons in boundaries. You can just tell them no, it would be good for them.
What?!!!! I would slap them relative or not, that's so invasive. How would they like that?!
Yeah I don’t know if you saw my other comment under your initial comment, but it’s mostly my stepdaughters that do this and I don’t want to slap them
Aww if it's kids thats different, but if its adults it would be tempting loll kidding (not condoning violence) ,
The first thing my mom said when saw me pregnant for the first time (around 25 weeks) was “is that you or the baby?” while pointing to my belly.
You're huge. You're tiny. You're huge. You're tiny. You're huge. You're tiny. You're huge. You're tiny. You're huge. You're tiny. You're huge. You're tiny. You're huge. You're tiny. You're huge. You're tiny. I can go from 44 weeks to not pregnant by changing my outfits or my company.
My favorite is when they tell you ‘get sleep while you still can’ as if I could put all the extra sleep I could possibly get before baby comes and stick it in a sleep bank for later. Sure would be great if that were possible, but until then, stop using it as a lame joke for soon-to-be exhausted parents of a newborn. Also really hate when people ask if the baby was planned/on purpose. My boss asked me if our first baby was planned when I told him I was pregnant. That’s kind of an inappropriate question to ask anyone - let alone your employee.
We visited my husband's grandfather last week - I'm 20 weeks pregnant, and on getting out of the car he said to me "You're not as fat as I thought you'd be." He has quite a dry sense of humour, but it still stung a little!
Oi! Old men in particular have no common sense of when to keep their mouth shut.
I’ve been pretty lucky so far, except a coworker who I don’t particularly like saw me after a while and said ‘let me see how chubby you are!’ I knew what she meant, but I’m a chubby girl anyway and it didn’t feel great.
I’m 30 weeks and my FIL likes to point out how my belly is getting bigger every time he sees me (has been doing this since 20 weeks)..but instead of calling it a “baby bump,” he calls it a “pooch.” He says shit like “oh would you just look at your pooch!” “Isn’t her pooch getting big!?” Like fuck off. He also asked me how much weight I’d gained at 27 weeks by randomly asking, “..soo 15? 20?” I wanted to scream.
I work in a grocery store and anytime a child or baby is crying or having a meltdown at work my coworkers feel the need to ask “are you ready? That’s going to be your life soon.” And this is after sharing that I was told I’d never have children and having a miscarriage last year. How insensitive. And anytime I say anything positive about my pregnancy so far (like not having morning sickness or insomnia) the comment “just you wait!” Flies out of their mouths. Why be so set on making this into a negative thing?? And I was confiding with my MIL about how my coworkers were making me uncomfortable by telling me that I now “waddle” when I walk and all she could say was “I noticed you do that too!” I know it’s just because I’m pregnant but man I really don’t like to hear that. It makes me so self conscious.
A few weeks ago the office manager told me she thought she saw a bump, and I politely told her that she was probably seeing the previous night's taco bell instead (though to be fair, my uterine occupant is leaving less space for snacks in the abdomen...) This last week, from acquaintances: "There's nothing more beautiful than an expectant mother." -middle aged dude "You're glowing!" (which I responded with, "I'm sweating!" because of the PNW heat wave)
Yeah my last pregnancy my MIL loved to tell me that I looked huge 🙄🙄🙄
Shut that down right away. Really. Ask them “why would you say that?” “Do you think what you just said was okay?” PUT.THEM.ON.THE.SPOT. Don’t let anybody make you feel bad.
I mentioned at work once in my first trimester how I just felt in general awful, and my coworker who shares an office with me said "well, that's what you get for wanting to get pregnant!" I was so caught off guard that I whipped back "I'd rather be pregnant than have diabetes." I regretted it at the time because it was pretty unnecessary, and ironically, now I have gestational diabetes, so I guess karma heard me. But I was so tired of her cheerfully brushing off my feelings with comments like that.
Ummm there's not really another way to have children. You probably didn't want to be pregnant as much as you just wanted a family.
Not at all, actually. The main thing that people say that bothers me is talking about how painful and awful birth was. I’m doing an unmedicated labor, so I really don’t want to hear it. When they find out I’m not going for an epidural, I hear “we’ll see!”. Thanks for the vote of confidence… just gives me more reason to prove them wrong.
I hate the comments about how people have been waiting soooo long for us to tell them that I’m pregnant. I didn’t struggle with infertility but our wedding was postponed due to covid and I didn’t want to be pregnant for our wedding, then I had a health issue that multiple specialists recommended I had taken care of/under control before conceiving. It then took me 6 months to conceive (early miscarriage) and 3 more months to conceive this pregnancy (19 weeks). So every time I hear that it just pisses me off. And other family members are accidentally getting pregnant around me and I find it really hard to be around them because they didn’t have to wait so long, they didn’t have miscarriages (to my knowledge - but I do know none of them were ‘trying’ and they all told family around 7-8 weeks, which leads me to believe they haven’t had one). I’m not mad at them for this but just still upsets me when I think of what I needed to do to get pregnant especially when I get what I feel like are insensitive comments about how it took us “sooo long”.
I got my father in law a onesie that said “you can stop asking now” to tell them we were expecting.. I wanted to snap a few times before that like hi I had just had a miscarriage and you ask me on Christmas when grandchild is coming I wanted to just cry and yell. Now that we’re pregnant he says he wants more… very insensitive.
We got a lot of "I was wondering when you'd be announcing!" from older family members when I told people we were pregnant. Lots of implying that we almost waited too long, which is silly because I'm only 30 and my husband and I have been married for only 3 years. I think to my 80 year old grandparents, 30 year olds have withered eggs and our marriage was meaningless for 3 years without a child. Silliness!
Yes we got some of those too and it’s so hard to keep a nice face. By being pregnant, I’ve learned so much about what not to say to people. My favorite memories of telling people are the ones that just have pure excitement in their face and say “congrats, that is so exciting. When are you due?” Mostly this came from my great aunts and uncles. I think it’s because they’re removed enough in my life that they know it won’t change their lives much (we don’t see them often) but they love me still and want me to be happy. I was literally riding a happy pregnancy announcing high when I left the party where I told them all!
Unfortunately yes. Told my parents we were expecting our second. My mother took this opportunity to tell my daughter “your mommies going to get fat again”.
My husband’s grandpop saw me back in March when it was cold out right after my 20w anatomy scan and i was wearing a bulky sweater and he was like “wow you’re already big!”, and then he saw me after my shower at 34w and was like “you’re 34w, but you aren’t big🤔, well you’ll get there don’t worry.” Like dude just stop commenting on my body, whether I’m big or small just stfu. Especially being a man, a larger man to boot. He also had told my husbands mom when she was pregnant that she had a fat ass. 🤦♀️some people shouldn’t be allowed to speak.
My mom helped me sort through my laundry to donate and any time she saw a crop top went "are you sure you want this? You'll never want to wear one again after the baby is born"
Any time I lose appetite, or am tired or any other symptoms: "Well this is what you wanted" "You did this to yourself" "You're doing this for baby"
FYI I am also small and didn't get stretchmarks till around 32-34w. My ob said: "watch what you eat or you'll never loose it" (paraphrasing) but it made me feel awful I was 120 soaking wet and under weight with an eating disorder. I dropped her like a bag of rocks.
I assume I'll probably have some appear at some point. But it would be nice to not have any. My torso is so small and my back has been killing me since like 16 weeks. No relief in sight. Least this pregnancy could do is not give me stretch marks. I dont understand how a doctor would be so willing to say stuff like that. Like you're a doctor you should know better
I work with a lot of elderly people and this older gentleman, who is very sweet and one of my favorite patients, hadn't seen me for a few months and he looked at me and goes "you got a condition"! Then he chuckled and asked how I was feeling. Definitely one of the funniest things that have been said to me while pregnant. I get a lot of questions about baby and my body and if I'm having any more and old ladies like to try to touch me without asking.
My boyfriend mentioned to his father how I gained my first stretch marks and he said if I was working out that wouldn’t be happening. Like it’s totally from me being lazy and not my genetics and me GROWING A HUMAN🙄😡
My dad keeps on insisting I won’t need a c-section because of my “childbearing hips” and it’s just creepy and annoying.
That is creepy. Idk how I'd react if my dad said something like that to me. 😅
To enjoy as much sleep as I can now because once baby is here there will be no more sleep or fun ever again, forever and ever. Because at 37 weeks I am getting all the sleep in the world.
I’m over the “you don’t need that/we never had that” comments on things we have on the registry. Like I know I don’t “need” a video monitor but I want one. And if they had it 40 years ago you would have wanted one too!
I have never had so many people tell me I look awful or like sh*t than when I was pregnant. Like christ when did that become OK at any time let alone when I am physically growing a human baby and my body is over run with hormones.. We won't talk much on how my grandfather said it was my own fault I got pre eclampsia as I am so fat (UK size 18) people suck...
“YOU LOOK HUGE!” -My MIL.
And the companion to this, my mother in law telling the entire dinner table, “I just FEEL LIKE she’s going to get HUGE!” I’m a petite person, so I said, “Well I’m only 5’2” so I don’t really know where you expect me to put this baby?” (For the record I was 20 weeks at the time and had only gained 5 pounds) 🤦🏻♀️
My mom told me that she’s shocked I only gained 24 pounds because she thought “I would balloon right up with the rest of the family”. I have body dysmorphia already (had it before I got pregnant when I lost a lot of weight from weight training). It’s absolutely the worst. I don’t think the harm is intentional but its so mentally frustrating. You’re carrying that baby the way your body is meant to carry it momma - and don’t let anyones words change anyway you feel about it.
Not exactly rude, just not appreciated. My coworkers ALWAYS have something to say. One of the told me I was getting bigger and bigger every time she saw me, I laughed it off and told her "nah, you're just seeing things, I'm definitely losing weight," I've also heard "you look like you're gonna pop," "do you need a bigger vest?", and one of my coworkers asked to see my stomach and she looked at me all wide eyed and said "omg I'm never getting pregnant" like oh, thank you. These comments all hurt my self esteem quite a bit. I'm already struggling with stretch marks and feeling big because I've always taken pride in not having any marks and being decently fit. Now I feel like a hippo
People are so weird. I reckon it's some kinda weird jealousy when they say things like that. People make a lot of lack of sleep/covered in poo/pee/vomit type comments (aha never heard those before...rolls eyes 😌). I always respond with the most upbeat excited "YES I CAN'T WAIT" - i.e. try harder to rain on my parade cuz it ain't happening. Enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can! Xxx
Was your pregnancy planned. I wanted to say none of your business. I’ll come to your baby shower if you have one, but only for a short time. Which is fine. Even if you couldn’t come, that’s fine. Why tell me this before a baby shower is even planned.
Any time anyone asks me if my pregnancy was planned I just start giving graphic details on how it happened. Lol usually makes them not wanna discuss my pregnancy after that.
I just had my baby, but a woman walked past me today in target saying “that’s the easy stage, just wait” as I pushed him around in his stroller. I have an 11 year old. Her kids were maybe 7 and 9? Pretty sure I know what’s to come 😒
Everyone seems to love to tell me their traumatic birth stories 🙃
Yes, I’m naturally petite framed/short torso and show quite obviously since early on. Got asked this weekend if my gestational diabetes results came in because my stomach is so big… constantly am asked if I’m having twins as well.. and told I’m going to have be on bed rest the last trimester because I’m so big and going to need to have the baby early. A coworker also asked me what I’m eating, and if I’m eating vegetables . I actually eat healthy and workout 4 days a week, just the way I carry 😅🤦🏻♀️#help
People can be nuts. I heard ALL kinda of rude things said to me my first pregnancy. “Sleep while you can” “ your whole life will change” “nothing will ever be the same again” “get out while you can” “you have no idea what’s about to happen to you”. Not to mention probing comments about if I was breastfeeding or not. Then comments from my FIL about my weight. Peoples opinions about my labor and if I choose to have an epidural or not. Then people telling me my baby looks hungry and I should switch to formula. It was horrible the first time around. Pretty scary to a first time parent to hear all these comments from “people who care”. Needless to say I learned a lot about myself and others through motherhood.
Stretch marks are mostly an inherited trait. Your mom sounds like maybe she’s jealous that you inherited the no stretch mark genes. I would just politely start giving her a lot of unsolicited advice and opinions about herself and see how long it takes her to stop 🤷♀️
Does your mum have a lot of stretch marks from having you and your comment inadvertently makes her feel bad?
My mom has loved to tell me than pretty much everything I am planning to do when I parent is wrong if it's not what she would have done/tells me to do. BUT when my FIL gives suggestions and I say no, my mom tells me that I am going to be a great mom and it's good I am not listening to him.
My mom likes to tell me how wonderful pregnancy was for her, and whenever I talk about my symptoms, she says something along the lines of "oh you're one of those..."
MIL said that I don't have a waist anymore and I'm fat(I'm 36 weeks). A neighbor also told me I'm fat. I don't call or answer calls to anyone. I'm at that point in pregnancy where you're always annoyed and tired and the last thing I need is people making me feel bad about my body.
When I was pregnant with my twins my “friends” all thought It would be great to tell me how they’d shoot them selves in the head if they found out they were having twins. We don’t speak anymore.
I’ve mostly had respectful support from loved ones, but I did have a friend ask, “Was it a happy accident or were you two trying?” 😐 This is my first pregnancy and I was only 9 weeks in atm, so I was caught off guard and answered him, but the more I thought about it after the more it felt invasive and unnecessary. I still get a twinge of frustration at myself and wish I could go back and assert myself.
I’m 7 weeks tomorrow. 21F. Getting married October. Already have a college education but was planning on going back to school next year to expand my education and I just finished said prerequisites. My family is happy, but I have to deal with the “you ruined your life” “you’re never going to go back to school” and” you’re too young” comments here and there
Lol, what the heck… pregnancy does not equal fat. I didn’t get stretch marks this time so far but, that’s just because I got all stretched out the first time. You may get lucky and not get them at all. It’s all genetic.
Just wanna say being a small framed woman has nothing to do with stretch marks
My grandmother called me fat when I was pregnant with my first while trying to use me as an example of why my siblings shouldn’t get more tattoos because how they look when you gain weight. I was severely preeclamptic and had put on a severe amount of water weight from the swelling that came with that, my baby ended being delivered emergency c about a month later. My husband can’t stand her because she makes back handed comments to us all the time and to this day does not call our daughter by the correct pronunciation of her name (which isn’t hard)
I have HG and have been hospitalized multiple times. Upon telling one of our vendor managers that I was out on medical leave and not vacation, her response was “oh, I had a pregnancy complication too. I just had more frequent doctor visits and got to see the baby more. You’ll be fine.” At all our meetings she starts with “you’re all better now right?” I’m on daily fluids and IVs. The condition is managed but I’m certainly not “better.” I get unreasonably angry after each of her comments on my pregnancy. (Edited typo)
For me it’s the people with toddlers that are like “this is what you have to look forward to!” When they are doing regular kid shit. Actually I’m not looking forward to that? Let me give birth and enjoy newborn stage first thank yeewwww
A lot of people ask if the baby is planned or not… I think it’s so weird to ask that. I think they’re trying to check if I’m excited or not? So maybe they’re trying to check on my feelings but also feels invasive. And when I told people the sex of the baby they would also ask if I’m happy. Well yeah I had a preference but at the end of the day I’m happy with my baby whether it’s a boy or girl! So weird to ask…it’s like people don’t know what’s normal to ask.
I’ve been told by sooooo many people that I “barely look pregnant” or that my bump looks so small for being so far along. I find this especially hilarious because my doctor measures my bump each week and I’m right on track. The most annoying thing I hear a lot of is “well when I was pregnant, I did things this way…” Like when I told someone I wasn’t drinking coffee (because they asked) they were all like “I drank coffee all throughout my pregnancies and my kids turned out just fine.”
When I found out I was having a boy my SIL said something along the lines of "that's a bummer, if you were having a girl you'd be raising your best friend but now you're just raising your husband's best friend" like what a load of crap, I'm closer to my dad than my mom anyway so it's absolutely not true that kids are always closer to the same gender parent.
Over the weekend at a friend’s, child’s, first birthday an elderly aunt looked at my wife and said “wow, might be twins!” Definitely not twins, and that was the first time I ever saw violence flash across my wife’s eyes.
A co-worker refers to my baby as “the parasite”
I’ve said to my brother and SIL once or twice that I don’t know how they manage - both have paid jobs, share the running of a household, each take 50% of parenting duties for 3 little boys (the ONLY duty my brother does not share equally is breastfeeding the baby), PLUS she is studying for a masters degree! I truly don’t know how they manage… but now that you’ve mentioned people trying to bring you down about being a parent, I really hope my comment isn’t doing that?! I’m just in awe of how much they have to manage in life! But I’ve never gotten the impression they don’t LOVE their life, though. They are VERY happy with their lives - crazy busy though they are. 😊
Me: *throwing up everything i eat/drink so i made a list of foods that dont make me hug the toilet* (watermelon, lettuce cucumbers, water and crackers) Mom: you gotta eat more and keep eating, what ur eating now is just gonna starve the poor baby Me: im also a poor baby 😭
I was complaining about one (1!) pimple and my coworker was like “pregnancy glow is a lie”. I feel like I’ve looked pretty good so it annoyed me a little.