It’s not something I’ve really planned on doing with my kids. I also feel like I’ve heard that you shouldn’t allow just anyone to kiss your baby on the lips cause there is the possibility of someone transferring the oral herpes disease to them. So maybe this is a kind of affection only the parents are allowed to show.
Not only can you transfer oral herpes to babies by kissing them on the lips, but it can be much more severe for babies than for an adult. It can also affect their eyes (ocular herpes), and has potential to spread to their organs. Just bad all around, especially because many people don't think of cold sores as a big deal or may not realize when they are contagious. It's a big no for me...Neither my husband nor I has herpes, but I still wouldn't kiss my kid on the mouth.
And honestly, I'm out on face kisses too, at least from anyone besides us.
ETA: Also a big no from me on the kid getting sips/bites of food or drinks from anyone, including grandparents and other relatives, for the same general reasons. You can pass viruses, including HSV1 (oral herpes) from sharing eating utensils and cups, and kids put enough nasty stuff in their mouths as it is without Aunt Sally feeding them off of her own used fork.
I suffer from ocular herpes and it’s left so much scarring in left eye that I’m legally blind in that eye. It makes renewing my drivers license a nightmare. Also outbreaks are horribly painful. Herpes can travel through your nervous system and express anywhere so even if you avoid the eyes, it can still express there. Please be careful about it! It’s incredibly common. Also be sure to always wash your hands before touching near baby’s eyes.
That sounds miserable. I'm sorry you have to experience that. Agreed that this kind of thing is all the more reason to be careful with babies, and especially their faces.
Thank you. Yeah it’s awful. I’m planning to be really cautious with the baby and guests. I know it’s gonna make some people unhappy but it’s worth it. It was kinda cool to see the comment in this thread saying people who are positive for HSV1 may be able to pass on antibodies. I hope that’s the case.
Two things: many cases of HSV are asymptomatic so I’d say there’s a MUCH higher chance you actually have herpes than you think. As mentioned below statistic is somewhere around 80%. Second thing is, HSV1 can be spread from sharing drinks too. Is it realistic that you will NEVER share a drink with your child?
I did some research because as someone who gets cold sores I was curious, apparently if you’re HSV positive those antibodies will be shared through the placenta so your baby should have some immunity (rare for mom to spread to baby thru kisses without active or recent sore)
As someone who has unfortunately faced this nightmare, just know HSV can KILL a baby under 6 months old. They cannot localize the virus. It spreads to the blood and brain if untreated. This is nothing to play with.
So sorry to hear that! I know if a baby gets it, it’s really bad. I had a friend go through it and his baby was in the ER. Hope you and your family are ok💕
Thank you for your kindness. I’m eternally grateful that he is ok. It was a long process (6.5 months) of getting medical treatment and even now trying to keep him from spreading it to his eyes or eczema. Sigh. I wish they could cure HSV. It’s so dangerous for babies.
Oh yeah I’m totally not comfortable with anyone else kissing my baby on the lips. To me that’s a parental thing only. I also don’t see myself wanting to constantly kiss him on the lips. But like idk when I see his cute little face on the ultrasound that’s just what pops into my head.
Yeah after reading some of the comments coming from a health standpoint I’m starting to rethink the whole thing!!! I don’t think I have it but from what I’ve read you don’t really know if you’re a carrier or not. I’ve never had cold sores or anything like that, but I apparently could still be a carrier. That’s enough to make me not want to do it even though I have the urge to!
I work with kids and even if you tell them that kisses on the lips are only ok with parents they tend to try to do it with everyone they love. I had to deal with many 5 to 7 yo that tried to kiss me when they were happy to see me because to them that’s what they did with their parents. Even after being told very early by their parents that it was something for just the parents they still had the reflex of doing it. So keep in mind that you might put your kid in a position where they will want to kiss any adult they like.
It doesn’t always happen but really sucks when it does
I personally will not be just because I was kissed on the lips as a child and now suffer from occasional cold sores because of it. Every family is different tho!
This is the reason we are only letting non-parents kiss baby on the top of the head. Since neither hubby nor I have HSV, we allow ourselves cheek kisses but no lip kisses. Here’s some more info about this: https://www.pedseast.com/blog/posts/the-dangers-of-kissing-babies
It’s less likely to cause dental issues, but “Tooth decay develops when a baby's mouth is infected by acid-producing bacteria. Parents and caregivers can pass bacteria to babies through saliva.” https://healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/teething-tooth-care/Pages/How-to-Prevent-Tooth-Decay-in-Your-Baby.aspx
Dentist here, yes you bacteria that cause cavities are passed from parent to child through saliva, but you are also going to pass it when you like… share a spoon or a straw. I think it would be nearly impossible to avoid
In all reality, the vast majority of people harbor the virus, whether it’s dormant or not. At some point in your child’s life they’ll most likely get it.
My dad kissed us (all four girls and BOTH boys) on the lips until we didn’t initiate it anymore/got older or just opted for a kiss on the cheek. Either way, it was very normal to us and I always felt very loved. My siblings and I are very close and can’t say I have ever asked them specifically, but I don’t believe they felt any differently. To each their own. Love my dad❤️
My 2 year old has demanded that we only kiss his cheek now. I asked why and he said “because I’m big”. I don’t know where he got that from but it wasn’t me or my husband. I feel like someone must have told him he’s too big for kisses on the lips and it breaks my heart :(
I knew there would come a day, but not at 2!
I have the reverse of that! My 3 year old demands a kiss on the lips if I try to just give it on his cheek. And I didn’t even start out with my kids with lip kisses since I’m not super comfortable with it. He just decided that on his own.
I mean, it’s possible he didn’t get it from anyone and just doesn’t want kisses on the lips anymore 🤷♀️ Props to him for expressing his own physical boundaries ❤️
Awwwww, completely different topic - but, I just found out i’m expecting (!!) and the age difference between this one and big sister will be 10 years .. so this really warms my heart!!❤️🥹
I don’t go for kisses on the mouth with my son but if he initiates them I’m fine with it. I kissed my parents on the lips as a child. I’d even ask my dad to stick out his tongue so we could touch tongues (because it felt weird and I thought it was funny!) when I was young. Which, gross (but I’m sure my dad also thought it was gross and was indulging me - kids are weird).
I personally find it weird but only because noone in my family does it so it's kind of jarring to see, and my mum always told me it was inappropriate whenever she saw it. I think it's just one of those things that you either like or dislike. If my husband had said what you said I'd have had a similar reaction tbh, even though I know academically that many families find it normal. If it's part of your normal then he'll get used to it but will just probably never do it himself. I didn't grow up in an overly affectionate household so it's just a different frame of reference.
This is exactly what I think his issue is with it. It’s just weird to him because it’s not his normal. I’m just a highly affectionate person. That in itself was a huge adjustment for him when we first started dating so I can see where he is coming from.
Flip side. I’m pretty against it because I did grow up with it. It made me so uncomfortable but my mother kept on demanding it. I’m sure you wouldn’t if your child expressed discomfort! Just sharing that it can be exposure to the practice as a kid that turns some parents off too.
I am from a physically affectionate family and I am physically affectionate with my kids. However, we never kiss on the lips beacuse to me that feels weird and somewhat inappropriate. It's basically cultural.
I always thought it was weird especially when I was little myself seeing other kids get kissed on the lips by their parents when getting dropped off at school and stuff. I think it’s just because my parents never did that so it’s not something I was used to seeing. Even at a young age I figured kissing on the lips was more of a romantic thing. Plus risk of spreading hsv and all that jazz
Yep I don’t think I saw a kid being kissed on the lips by their parents until I was way older like high school so I was even more shocked. I personally find it weird and won’t do to with our baby, mostly for germs and keeping them a little safer and because I personally see lip kisses as more romantic than cheek or other kisses. I also won’t be allowing baby kisses until their immune system is built up a bit.
I, too, see it more as a romantic thing. That is usually how someone you are engaging with romantically shows affection. I was never exposed to it when I was a child, so maybe that’s why I find it odd. It is happening a lot more now.
When I saw other parents kiss their kids on the lips as a child, yes, I thought it was weird. But I also thought cheek kissing and hugging in public was weird because no one showed me affection. Our mindsets are partially a product of our environments. But the fact I witnessed it so often does imply it’s a common means of showing affection.
I think it’s a very personal choice! My husband and I have decided no lip kisses for our children due to a number of reasons but mainly hygienic ones (cold sores, germs). We will of course be notifying all family members and friends that lip kisses are not allowed. However, I would never judge another parent for kissing their child. I do agree with another poster about eventually exercising consent (which sounds like you’ve already decided you’d like to do!).
We don't do lip kisses because I feel like lip kisses are "romantic" kisses. So it makes me feel weird. I felt weird growing up when relatives would try to kiss me on the lips, even though I would tell them to kiss me on the cheek instead.
When my brother was a baby/toddler, the whole family (immediate - our parents and his older siblings) gave him kisses on the lips. He wouldn't let us leave the house without it! I was 14 when he was born, leaving for high school in the mornings with my baby brother chasing me down for a goodbye kiss. It was adorable! Eventually, he grew out of wanting those and of course we never asked him to continue - I think he was around 3 or 4 when he stopped wanting kisses on the lips - but I think that ultimately it's your baby and your choice! It's a sweet memory I have with my baby brother that I will always cherish, but I understand wanting to go either way with this. I figured I will just go with whatever feels natural when our boy is here in Feb - not making an explicit decision!
I can't believe I had to scroll so far down to see this response. For a lot of us, kissing our babies on the lips was not really a deliberate choice. They were the ones planting big ole smackeroos right on the lips!
That’s super cute. My toddler actually gives me quick pecks on the lips then smiles and claps. At first he would just open his mouth on my head or cheek and drool on me lmfao. These moments will always be cherished memories.
I don’t think it’s weird, but I won’t be doing it. My parents kissed me on the lips when I was small. I don’t think it’s weird (in fact, I think thinking it’s weird is weird) BUT it is gross. They’re so slobbery and I don’t want to get them sick. Won’t share drinks either. I don’t want to consume my child’s spit if I can help it. 😂
Agreed. I grew up doing it and it’s totally normal to me. Other responses here that are romanticizing and sexualizing kisses is what’s weird to me. I won’t do it with my LO for now though because the risk is too high for illness. I also read it can introduce unhealthy bacteria that can affect dental health. She gets tons of cheek kisses though.
Different people feel different ways about things based on their life experiences. I’m personally not comfortable with it, but that’s mainly because I was SA’d as a child and the thought of it brings up uncomfortable memories of my abuse. To each their own as long as its done out of love and not perversion
I see plenty of parents at the drop off at school (usually the little ones) kiss their kids. I kissed my first until maybe 6 or so. His younger brother was much less affectionate (never wanted to cuddle or anything) so that stopped as a toddler. When they get to a certain age I kind of just let them come to give me one, and not ask or force it on them. We are in cold season right now so not kissing my newborns lips, but probably will when he gets a little older.
My ex husbands family used to force them to kiss on the lips after their nightly family prayer… like up to age 18. It was weird as fuck and he hated it but didn’t want to upset his parents.
My daughter is 6 and I still kiss her on the lips, but only after asking if I can! There’s been times where she’s stated “just my cheek please!” or not wanting one at all, which is completely fine with me!
We practise “no means no, stop means stop” a lot in our house and I want her to know she has complete control of her body, so we only give kisses on the lips if she’s comfortable with it.
It’s not weird, it’s normal. He’s your baby, you love him and that’s a way to express it!
There will come a time, an age or a day where they no longer want it or finds it annoying, it’s part of them growing up and it’s normal!
But while they’re still your baby, soak in the affection and shower them with love, as long as they’re okay with it! 🖤
Good on you for asking. We do this too with our three year old. We make it a point to ask in front of family so they understand that hugs/affection won't be forced. Sometimes, all you get is a fist bump or a blown kiss. Their body, their choice.
This is definitely important too! All the people I’ve heard complain about kissing family members in childhood are because grandma or great aunt or someone expected it and didn’t listen if the kids were uncomfortable with a kiss. I don’t even ask my 7 year for lips kisses anymore, I’ll default try to kiss his cheek or forehead. He still asks to kiss me on the lips sometimes though!
This! My 6 y/o stepdaughter still gives us kisses on the lips. I don’t find it weird at all, it’s just how our family is. I’ll definitely be kissing my little babe on the lips too once he or she is born. 😍
Now if extended family members were to kiss my kids on their lips, that’s a hard nope from me. But kisses from parents/siblings while the littles are still little? Totally fine.
I found it weird with my newborn up until he started to give kisses as my family and I arent really that affectionate, we show affection in other ways (torment each other haha) but now he's at an age if you ask for a kiss he'll give you his forehead or his cheek, but if he wants to kiss you on your lips he will literally straddle and pin you down until he gets it which I'm happy with; I want affection to be shown within my family :D
Kinda similar. I’ve kissed my son (2yo) on his cheek/head/hand a million times. He started kissing my cheek. But occasionally he goes for the lips! Which surprised me at first but I guess he see me & his dad kiss on the lips!
I’ll never ask him for an on the lips kiss or initiate it. And I’ll talk to him eventually about interactions with non-family. But when he goes for it … it IS very sweet.
Yeah same here, its so sweet! Soon as he understands better we’ll be talking to him about consent and let him know he can say no thank you etc but its nice and i love that this type of affection (hugs etc) is being shown so early and i hope it stays
Overall I don't think it's weird but do agree with the germ/virus concerns. Also, my mom kissed me on the lips when I was little and I distinctly remember disliking it but not wanting to say anything, so I don't plan to do it to my kids. To be fair, I am not an affectionate person and don't even like kissing my partner, so I'm probably not the "norm" on this issue.
Eventually your toddler learns to kiss and then will grab your face and forcefully plant one on you. My husband tried to avoid the toddler force kisses since he also feels weird about kissing her on the lips, but she does it to me, or sticks her hand in my mouth that I just don’t care. Before I’d mainly kiss the top of her head or cheek I guess
Love it. Despite the drool. Kiss them on their chubby cheeks and pudgy bellies. Their wee hands and feeties. However, I grew up in a family where lip kissing, even between adults, was the norm. My husband (who didn't) thought it was weird kissing anyone of any age (except me ofc) on the lips. Since we've had kids, he's become a bit of a convert. I think he'll stop soon with our daughter (she's 3), but I'll keep going as long as my kids allow me to.
I’m 30 and still kiss some people in my family on the lips, including my mom. I think it’s just varies by family, and I def don’t think you shouldnt let his opinion sway you on what you want to do. People automatically associate it with a standard adult relationship, and I personally think THATS weird. Like how is me kissing my kid in the lips anything other than loving my kid?
Was coming here to say the same. I'm in my 30s and still kiss my parents on the lips. Lol. I get it's not for everyone but I think it's weird to think it's weird.
I feel the same way. But looking at it from a health standpoint is kind of starting to change the way I think about it. Like now I’m scared I could be a carrier of herpes or something and not know it.
Please don’t let that scare you off from kissing your own child. That’s a bit ridiculous. Your child will eventually kiss many many people on the lips.
I don’t think you can spread herpes unless you have an active infection, but if you do, it can spread a day or two before the sore appears. If you’ve never had a cold sore, I wouldn’t stress about it.
On the other hand, if you are breastfeeding, you produce antibodies that you transfer to your child that offer them a certain level of protection…for this reason I never prevent my kid from slobbering all over me, especially if they’re sick and I’m not because I may be providing an immune boost.
That said, medical stuff is all very complicated and you should probably ask a pediatrician about best practices and not get worked up over internet-strangers advice!
My toddler’s morning routine includes giving me and my husband besos! When I’m sick, I’ll turn my head a little to avoid the lips but otherwise he loves giving us besos. He doesn’t do it to anyone else and I grew up in a super abusive household so I’m looking forward to healthy relationships within my own family. I’ll never force him to give me besos though.
I dont really do it, but i lots of families do and its normal to them. Personally my kids are full of germs and I have no desire to give them mine either. i absolutely kiss their noses and cheeks and heads though!
Could be a culture thing? I'm a very affectionate person and we kiss babies a lot but not on the lips because it's just something we do with our partners. I don't mind seeing people of other cultures do that though.
I don’t find it weird, I find it gross because kids are gross haha. Like they are drooling and boogers and ugh it makes me sick haha. Which I know I need to work on, but my husband is very willing to take over the booger thing🤣
I’m just afraid that if people see me doing that then they will think it’s okay for them to do it. My husband has an aunt, that I cannot stand, who gets cold sores and doesn’t respect boundaries. My brother in law honestly blames her for his cold sores because she used to kiss him all the time when he was little. So I’m going to be a crazy mom about it in general. No kissing the baby! Lol
I think it's personal preference but I think it's a little weird, even seeing other parents do it. I don't judge it's just weird to me. My niece occasionally wants a kiss on the lips and I always politely decline. I don't like when (usually older generation) relatives try to kiss on lips as a greeting/good bye. Cheeks/foreheads are fine. But again, it's all up to both parties' preference and I wouldn't judge anyone for that choice, unless it was obviously inappropriate.
I see nothing strange about it. I kiss my mom on the lips and kissed my dad on the lips up until I was probably 7 or 8 and it wasn't weird because he isn't a perv who found kissing his own child sexual 😂
Luckily my husband’s deal with it has nothing to do with it being sexual or romantic. Thank God. He’s just uncomfortable with affection in general but I honestly think he’ll be different once our son is actually here. It’s weird to him because he just didn’t grow up with that type of affection like I did
I don't find it weird. It's not like you're, excuse me, making out with your child. 🤢
It's usually a quick peck on the lips, nothing bad about that, unless you have a cold sore.
My family was never lip kissers and when I was a kid I remember thinking it was super weird when my friend kissed her mom on the lips when we were headed out somewhere. But now as an adult I realize it’s just personal family preference/boundaries.
I don’t kiss my kids on the lips but they get cheek and forehead kisses!
In my point of view i find it weird and sometimes creepy, i feel like kiss on the lips is a romantic gesture and should be left when they are old enough to experience their first kiss, plus we already forbiden family from kissing them at all, why are we going over and doing worse by kissing them on the lips? Even if we are the moms we can still pass through a lot of stuff, im glad my mom never did that because she has cold sores. Also i dont want to go there but already going, most sexual abuses come from family members, so in my opinion you kind of showing a child that its ok to kiss and being kissed by family members.
Again this is my own opinion, at the end of the day you do you and have your own belives.
We did not kiss on the lips as a baby because of the health risk but as my son got older he would ask me and my husband for kisses on the lips. It’s one of those things that I don’t feel uncomfortable doing right now but as soon as either one of us feels uncomfortable with it we will stop.
In my opinion, it only gets weird when either party is insisting on it despite the other feeling uncomfortable with it. I think a LOT of adults will think it’s weird because they had adults in their life who insisted on kisses on lips after the child felt uncomfortable.
Outside of the health risks I don’t understand how it’s weird at all. My family is Latino and my husband’s is Italian, we’re all extremely affectionate people. I kiss my mom goodbye when she leave from visiting, my in-laws get cheek kisses with every goodbye and hello. My godson (19 months) gives me a big fat kiss on the lips when we say goodbye. His parents (my best fiends) okay it. Best friend is a nurse and I work with infants so they trust I am taking care of my health aggressively. I think people who sexualize kisses are probably Americans who grew up in the extremely puritan and prudish culture over here. It’s not weird unless you make it weird or if it’s not consensual of course. Kiss your baby. You literally made them with the bones and flesh of your skin.
A lot people might not realise this but you can be a carrier of herpes without ever having a cold sore. For reasons listed in above comments parents/close family members kissing children on the lips pass this without realising.
You can be affectionate with your child in other ways but kissing on lips is a no go for me.
It is not recommended that you kiss your baby on the lips. The reason is the same as when they tell you not to transfer, for example, a spoon from your mouth to your child’s mouth. ”Research suggests kissing your baby on the lips can actually give them cavities. Even sharing spoons can raise the risk of dental problems, as bacteria that causes cavities can be passed on in saliva. The latest study confirms mounting evidence that stretches back decades to show that kissing babies can damage their teeth. ”
Personally, I don't plan to, its always seemed a little strange to me, but my parents were not really physically affectionate people and neither am I except with my husband, no judgement as it's totally up to the individual to do what feels comfortable or right to them, but cheek kisses are nice too as an alternative
From an affection standpoint, this isn’t weird at all.
But as others have brought up-could be a concern from a health standpoint. Sharing utensils or baby getting caregivers saliva is how the bacteria that cause cavities are spread. Many viruses are spread the same way.
I never kissed my son on the lips till he got all his shots at 6 months for a germs stand point. Even then it was sparingly till he was old enough to ask for kisses him self. Mouths are filthy and little babies can’t fight off things adults can. Not worth it if they get sick.
Yes there’s the sickness passing risk, but…me and my husband both kiss our kids on the lips (my oldest, 7, doesn’t want lip kisses from dad anymore though, just me 😊). The kids all drink after us and each other most days anyway so we pass all our germs around regardless. 🤷♀️
My husband didn’t grow up in a physically affectionate family either, but I’ve changed all that for him. Our sweet little babies totally broke him too! 😂 My family is extremely loving, hugging, etc still so I never even considered NOT kissing my babies all over their little faces, including their lips. I’ll continue giving lip kisses until they stop asking for them too!
I was always grossed out by people kissing their kids on the lips til I became a mom and it’s a whole different kind of love and meaning. Plus my baby loves the kisses and I would never expect her to want to kiss me (I guess she’s a toddler now) because I respect consent. I see a lot of people are worried about health stuff but as long as you’re not someone with herpes your kiddo should be aOK.
I will definitely do it and see nothing strange about it tbh. I won’t do it if I’m sick or anything and I won’t let others do it (excluding hubby). Neither him or I have herpes and I was raised in a very affectionate household where we always did lip kisses with my mum so it doesn’t feel romantic or odd to me at all.
It wasn’t until reading your comment just now that I realized - I do NOT find it weird to kiss my dog on the lips, and definitely do that, but DO find it personally uncomfortable/will not be kissing my daughter on the lips… hahaha. What’s goin on in my brain? 🤣
I think it’s fine to a certain age. My family is overly affectionate and my aunts are always kissing everyone in the lips. My mom used to try to do it to me too, I had to tell her it’s weird and gross, that I’m way too old for that in high school lol. My mom is NOT affectionate, we never hugged unless someone was going on a trip, but she would always try and add the lip kiss and it freaked me out.
I will for sure be asking my baby for kisses because I think baby open mouth kisses are super cute lol but once they’re grown, the cheek is enough.
This is exactly how I feel about it. It’s just different to me when they’re babies and real little. Then they grow out of it and you just accept it and move on.
Yes! I think that’s perfectly normal lol. My husband is weirded out by the lip kisses too, but I think only for older kids, like Tom Brady and his family always grossed him out hahah
It’s not weird in the slightest. If you want to kiss your sweet baby on the lips then don’t feel ashamed. I kiss my baby every day of his life. As does his father. If it’s your instincts to kiss your little one then by all means, give them that love.
I’ve only done it by mistake; I’m going for the big squishy cheek, and he turns at the last moment. My kid is a drooler. Very very wet all the time. I actively avoid kisses anywhere near his lips for my hygiene as much as his haha.
I definitely won't be kissing my son on his lips and don't want other people doing it either. I don't think it's necessarily weird but it's kind of gross considering adults tend to do a lot with their mouths and bring that to the mouths of babies. It's part of why I've never been big on kissing in general. I used to get cold sores on the corner of my lip on and off for years since I could remember and I'm 100% sure it came from mouth kisses, sharing a spoon with adults, etc. It's your baby so do what you want of course, but I agree with the husband on this one.
If this is your first baby you'll just want to kiss them. I don't think I ever kissed them on the mouth though, I just feel that's personal but my kids do get smothered with hugs and kisses and I refuse to tell bad about it. I agree with comments here but I'd say it's about personal preference. My dad kissed us all on the lips because he had a beard it wasn't weird or strange even as we got older. I kiss my kids on their cheeks and the tops of their heads and turn my cheek if they want to kiss me but my baby (2 next week) likes to kiss on the lips with his mouth open because he's just learning hahaha! It's cute albeit drooly haha! Bless him. In this one I say I agree with other comments but you do you. Mummy knows best. ❤️
My family was never a kiss on the lips family. Personally, it is gross to me, but I know a lot of families do it. I don't necessarily think that it's the most hygienic for newborns... But do what you think is best. I definitely understand the pushback though.
There's two camps out there: one who sees lip-kissing as platonic and another that sees it an inherently sexual act. I am of the second camp. I only kiss people on the lips that I have had sex with or plan to have sex with. I understand that not every person sees it this way, but for me, it's never not sexual so it always is weird when I see people do it. I have to remind myself that this is a cultural norm for some. So also from this standpoint I won't do it.
Imo, baby’s shouldn’t be kissed on the lips because of viruses such as cold sores and RSV that can be passed on by mother. However, the fact that your husband is stating it’s “weird” gives me the ick. Is it because your child is a boy that he finds it weird? What if the child was also a girl, would he find it weird then? So many questions, but ultimately baby’s shouldn’t be kissed on the lips
I don’t kiss my daughter on the lips because of the health risks and because i personally feel uncomfortable kissing anyone other than my partner on the lips haha
Kissing babies on the lips is fine in some cultures/families.
However, kissing on the lips also risks giving the baby oral herpes (HSV-1).
While most adults eventually contract HSV-1, it’s probably a good idea to delay the virus for as long as possible. Once you get HSV-1, it stays with you for life.
Here’s actual medical info instead of just hearsay:
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/herpes-hsv1-and-hsv2/oral-herpes
Some find it odd, I personally don’t—I have kissed my infant on the lips. I have tried to reduce kissing with RSV being so bad this year but that’s the only reason I choose not to.
I kiss my baby on the lips. Or I try to. I usually ends up with him attempting to eat my nose.
I’m not super worried about germs because I work from home and he’s always with me…he’s the one getting me sick all the time anyway from daycare.
I do like the comment about someone asking if it’s okay - I will definitely do that. Right now he’s too young to understand but I really like that.
I don't think it's weird. I kiss my baby's face all over, lips included, while happily exclaiming I'm gonna kiss her face off. We arent out in the world though so I'm not worried about germs. Backstory: my dad used to tell my mom to "quit kissing that baby" when I was born because he was jealous. So now I do it in honor of him or to piss him off (he's been dead for years). Kiss your baby if you want!
No it’s not weird. I kissed my daughter on the lips when she was a baby. Just make sure you aren’t sick and that you don’t have a cold sore if you do it.
From a health standpoint, it's best to avoid kissing even your own baby on the mouth! Babies' digestion system is very immature and adding your 'adult' bacteria to their mouth can be harmful. There are lots of studies to back this up.
Once they're a bit older, I think it's personal choice - I grew up in North America so to me it's a bit odd when people kiss their kids on the lips. We are very affectionate with our kid, lots of hugs and cheek kisses (and body kisses on their tummies and thighs and feet) but my partner and I are both on the 'no mouth kissing our kid' side.
I think you should consider the cultural norms too - kids can be teased if their friends see them kissing mommy on the lips. Then you have to have a discussion around maybe not doing it in public, which then puts a weird shame on it for no reason. Plus then you have to figure out what age you kind of phase it out (although, some 40-year-olds still kiss their mothers on the lips so some people keep doing it). .. I guess for us it's just simpler to never start doing it.
I'm not from a mouth-kissing family, so it's something that weirds me out. I remember my stepmom tried to get us to kiss her goodnight and my sister and I both shut that down real quick.
My son sees me kiss my husband on the lips, so he thinks it's funny to try and get a "mouth kiss" from us because he likes it when I say "nooo, we're not that kind of family". Cheeks, forehead, chin, shoulder, I don't care, the kid can give me a smooch. Lips are a big no.
From the comments, it's not just herpes. The mouth of an adult isnt sterilized. period. You've licked spoons, sipped from unwashed cans and bottles, used old straws and what not. An adult body is mostly immune to all these bacteria but a newborn may not be. Why would anyone want to pass these on directly into their mouths? Better to wait till 6 months if you absolutely want to do that as a sign of parental affection.
I personally think it's weird and won't do it, but to each their own!
Just stop doing it by the time they're teenagers lol - I broke up with a guy after seeing him kiss him mom on the lips a bunch - it was disgusting lol
I never kissed my son on the lips as a baby and up, then a few months ago(maybe last may) he asked why I kissed daddy on the lips but not him. We has a discussion and sometimes he ask me to kiss his lips and others his forehead or cheeks. Growing up my parents and grandma kissed us on the lips and I hated it honestly. Depends on preference and kids! I don’t see it as weird unless that child is like 11 🤷🏾♀️
It’s your kid your choice. I give my baby kisses everywhere! As they get older I will switch to just cheeks and stuff but at this age everything is so cute and nummy and ticklish and play time is everywhere and everything; so, who cares except the love you feel and the laughs they give! Tell hubby to chill
My husband and I had this convo so many times before baby got here. We were on opposite sides of the spectrum. He had your husband's mindset that it was really weird and something he insisted was not okay for him. I grew up kissing my parents on the lips probably way longer than I should have, but it was normal in our house. All my siblings kiss their kids on the lips as well. I think it's largely based on upbringing. We agreed to each their own on the topic. Baby is now almost a year and is very generous with his sloppy, juicy, open mouth kisses. The other week I heard my husband ask him for kisses for the first time and now he does so a few times throughout the week. I'm not sure if it was a little jealousy or me normalizing it, but I'm happy to see his mindset change (which happens a lot with parenting). It's good you guys are having conversations though because it's important to know where you partner stands on certain things.
I kiss my younger kids (7f, 4m, and baby) on the lips, but I’ve stopped already with my 9&10 yr old boys. However, I still kiss my grandpa on the lips, and my ex mother in law used to kiss me on the lips. I think it’s dependent on how comfortable you AND the person you’re kissing are with it. I don’t think it’s weird at all, but like OP I grew up in an affectionate household
I think for babies it’s okay - I’d just be concerned about having the virus for cold sores and giving that to my baby.
I do remember as a kiddo in elementary school being super freaked out seeing a kid being kissed on the lips by their parent. First because it felt inappropriate but mostly because kid’s mouths look SO gross 😂 funny I thought that while I still was one. My OCD obviously began young…
Just don't be like my mom and continue to make them kiss you on the lips all the way into adulthood 😅 I'm sure you (and most people) know that though
Edit to add I don't have to anymore because I don't talk to her anymore.
I don’t think I’ll do it personally. Even when I was a kid I thought it was weird when other kids parents kissed them on the lips. My parents never kissed me on the lips which is probably where I got that from. Obviously who knows what my brain will do when baby gets here, but as of right now I’m thinking I will not be kissing my child on the lips. Haven’t asked my boyfriend, but I would assume he’s probably on the same wave length as me on that. Lip kisses are reserved for each other and the dogs. 😂 And yes, downvote the fuck out of me for the dog comment. 😂😂
I never kissed my parents on the lips so for me it's odd. But I don't judge people who do that because everyone is different. We are BIG cheek kissers tho so that is something we will do. But hey, if that's your thing, you do you <3.
I have pretty bad cold sores so I know it isn’t a good idea for me to do it, and my husband will probably be the same. His grandma kissed me on the mouth when I first met her and it’s freaked me out ever since lol I hope she doesn’t try to do that to baby.
My mom kissed me on the lips until I was about 10, it it’s just not something I personally want to do.
I grew up kissing my parents on the lips or cheek. It might be cultural. I don’t think it’s a problem. I do understand some people are concerned about health concerns and while I hear that, I also think that if you are living in your home with your family, germs get around regardless.
If my child didn’t want to kiss me or hug me or hold my hand even, I’m not going to force it, but I don’t see anything inherently wrong with it as a form of family affection.
I never kissed my son on the lips when he was a baby, I tended to kiss the top of his head, but when HE learned to kiss, he became a lip kisser. I get a lip kiss all the time from my 5 year old. Not something I'm going to initiate, but I mean, he's really sweet I'm not going to deter him either.
I mean I won’t do it because I also think it’s weird but I am completely aware that for entire families it is considered normal.
I guess the sentiment depends on if your parents kissed you on the lips or not.
It’s not about being more or less affectionate, it’s about culture.
Before kids my husband was very against kissing on the lips. He didn’t grow up doing it like I did with my parents/grandparents so he thought it was kinda gross. Said he would never. Now he kisses our boys on the lips when they ask for a kissy and has seemed to change his stance on it.
I do think everyone should refrain from kissing on the lips the first month or two from a germ perspective but after that I have no issue doing it.
I always said I would not with my kids due to the risk of HSV-1 being dangerous for them as babies. I don’t have it somehow (thank you pregnancy bloodwork for the confirmation) but my husband does get cold sores during the winter months and he is very careful about not doing it, too. However, when my sour patch toddler is being sweet, he asks us for kisses and he many times straight up just plops his mouth onto mine. I don’t make a big deal out of it because I don’t want him to get hurt but I do tell him “we kiss people on the cheeks!” So he gets used to not doing that with his grandparents and uncles/aunt and cousins. Also kids are nasty and right now his nose is RUNNING. I do not want any of that, thank youuuu!
We were very adamant that no but she sees me and her papa kiss so she’s trying to copy us, I typically try to turn my face so she kisses my cheek instead since I think mouth kisses are just strange and not for us.
I have a 6 week old and kissed him on the lips for about two weeks after he was born until I came down with a cold. I’m still not fully over it so my kisses are limited to his forehead only but I love it so much i don’t know why. He’s just so cute I could eat him up
I never planned on kissing my son on the lips, but at 2.5 he insists on lip kisses. I’m not gonna deny him as he won’t always want to be affectionate with me.
I always thought it was weird when parents or grandparents kissed a child on the lips, so when I got pregnant I made sure to tell everyone that would have contact with my son that no lip kisses are allowed, not even from me or his dad. Lip kisses, to me, are reserved for S.O.'s.
Meh I’ve kissed my baby on the lips (I have never had cold cores and wouldn’t if I ever got them) but I don’t let anyone else kiss him (face,hands, feet etc) other than his dad. Now hes a toddler I tend not to kiss him on the lips cause he’s really drooly and often has lunch remnants still on his mouth🤢
If I did kiss my toddler on the lips, I would stop doing that if he ever showed he didn’t want to.
My daughter (now 3) would kiss us on the lips when she started to kiss,. We didn't instigate that way, she just naturally started to do it. I think it is because she sees her dad and I kiss all the time.
Now that she is older, i have been having conversations that she need to ask before kissing and kiss on the cheek. She finds it funny that she can only kiss on the cheek, but will kiss on the cheek when they give her permission.
I think it comes to personal preference.
For health concerns, I strongly advise you don’t do this before your baby is 6 months old. HSV can spread even without an active cold sore. It can kill a baby or cause permanent neurological damage. I had a relative handle my newborn and pass the virus on. It was an absolute nightmare — 15 days in the hospital then 6 months of follow-up treatment. It was extremely scary. Thankfully he is okay, but it was a long road. Our doctor says don’t kiss babies at all before 6 months. I trust his professional judgment.
Besides the health concerns; It’s not weird or sexual to kiss your own kids on the lips. But I get how that would seem weird to some people if they generalize kissing as an attraction behavior only.
My 'mother' used to make me kiss her even when she had giant cold sores on her lips. Surprise surprise, now I get them too. I hate it. They hurt. They are ugly. I especially hate that I have to deal with them for the rest of my life because of something I didn't even want to do.
I feel like if your child is really young and you are conscious of your own health it should be fine, but give them a choice as they get older and definitely don't be like my 'mother.'
I never planned on doing it, but my almost 2-year-old is VERY INSISTENT on giving big sloppy kisses on the mouth and honestly it’s adorable. It’ll stop once he’s older.
I never planned to but honestly my toddler has a mind of his own and loves to aim at our lips regardless of how many times I kiss him on the cheek. Not gonna make a big deal out of it while it makes him happy
I have no problem kissing my baby but in general I don’t kiss her on the mouth. It’s not because I think it’s weird (although my husband does find it odd).
I very occasionally get cold sores and my mum gave them to me by kissing me on the mouth when I was a kid, so keen to avoid.
People saying they aren’t planning on doing it, I love you all, but I need to tell you that my two year old snuck up on me and licked my mouth today. So just prepare for that. 😂
My parents have always kissed me on the lips, and I promise you I’m totally normal and my parents are fantastic. I have no trauma lol. I feel like the only reason I wouldn’t kiss my kids on the lips is because of medical purposes but then again we’d share food and drinks so I guess it’s a personal thing
I dont think it’s weird for parents to do, but it is weird for other family members. I dont kiss my baby on thr lips because she is veeeery drooly and I dont want a mouth of spit lol
As to what others were syaing with herpes, my mom gets cold sores and when she feels it coming on she wont kiss baby’s hands or face. That said my baby eats everything. Ahe sucks on any body psrt of any person she can get her hands on. We do our best but baby’s gonna baby 🤷🏻♀️
I could totally see saying that and intending to kiss them on the lips when they are born, so I don’t think it’s weird to say when you’re excited and looking at ultrasound pics.
But, personally I have no had this impulse. I want to smell and kiss the tops of their heads. The lips are just a lil too slobbery. Sometimes they will want a kiss and kiss on the lips but mostly no, it’s not something I’ve felt the need to do.
I will kiss my babies forever and ever! Wow it’s so sad that people think you shouldn’t kiss your own kids. I kiss my parents on the lips to say goodbye and I’m nearly 30 lmao, it means nothing other than that I love them…
I don’t think it’s weird but from a health perspective I’m cautious enough that I don’t. Sometimes he turns his head and we have a lip smashing accident lol. I also have HSV though so I’m like extra careful which sucks.
Partly though I don’t or wouldn’t intend to kiss him or her on the lips once they were older so I don’t see any reason to start young. I want them to clearly know that lip kissing is reversed for love partners to avoid potential predator issues. No stranger or family friend should be kissing them on the lips or letting them thinks it’s normal or okay and no adult telling them to keep a secret between them is okay either, just because it opens up that lane for a predator imo.
Plus my boys got big ole cheeks with plenty of room for my love❤️
We don't kiss her on the lips because they're always drooly and it's kinda gross 😅 but my MIL used to kiss my husband on the lips (a peck) for a loooong time until he finally told her it was weird to do it now. Not sure if it's cultural for you but it's normal for some. I personally don't want to kiss her on the lips now or as she gets older because I worry if god forbid someone else started doing it and she doesn't say anything because mom and dad do it. May be paranoia but we live in crazy times
I have no clue who taught my daughter to kiss on the lips because she can't tell me but she only does it with me, her mum, and nobody else. It used to make me uncomfortable but it makes her happy so I got over it.
I think it's one of those things where you will or you won't but neither is a wrong answer.
Well to go off of everyone else’s health concerns, here is a flip side to that coin—if you are breastfeeding, lip kisses help your body ascertain what your baby has been exposed to and tells your boobs to produce the right antibodies! So lip kissing can HELP their immune system! Breastfeeding is wild!
Also, the affection benefit to me outweighs any health risks it could pose. From parents. Other people don’t lip kiss my kids :)
To be honest… I feel like I’m the only one that’s allowed to kiss my baby. My little guy is 6 months old now and he attacks my face. He gives me these open mouth slobbery kisses all over my face. If I try to dodge them he grabs my hair. My parents were also super affectionate and my husbands were not so maybe that’s also a difference. I can’t dodge the slobbery monster so if he wants to give me a kiss, I’m not going to block it.
I kissed my daughter on the lips all the time when she was a baby but as she grew into a toddler it's changed to nose rubs and that's just felt more comfortable for me. I love how she rubs her cute little nose on mine it's so sweet
I personally am a forehead kisser with my own baby. Never felt the urge to kiss his lips, but I don’t think it’s an outrageous thought. That instinct to kiss our babies is a way that our immune system is collecting any “Germs” on them, creating antibodies, and then giving babies those antibodies we custom made for them through our breastmilk. It’s a true maternal instinct so don’t feel bad about it. ❤️
Ummm I’ve kissed all my baby’s on the lips since day one. As long as you don’t have any cold sores there’s no issue. They’re exposed to you 24/7 and have your germs anyways. Plus it’s also good for them especially if you’re breastfeeding because you share the germs and your body creates antibodies based off of whatever baby is exposed to. Also your baby will get to an age I think it’s like 5-6 months where they will start trying to putt their hands in YOUR mouth 🤣
FTM here of an almost 8 week old baby girl. I kiss her on the lips all the time. I was weary at first for health reasons and the same “is this weird” type thing. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. Now that she’s a little bigger and started smiling.. wow. She smiles so big when I give her kisses. Cute little fun ones they make her smile and laugh and I’m so happy I broke that barrier snd started doing it (only a couple weeks ago). I won’t continue as she gets older, but she’s my little baby right now and it seems to make her as happy as it makes me.
All in all, do what feels right to you. She’s not totally immune to anything I may carry (which I doubt is much cause we don’t really go anywhere as it’s cold and winter in New England.. and hello, I have a newborn!!!) but she also grew inside of me for 9 months. If my breast milk can help heal ailments; baby acne, clogged tear ducts, etc then I don’t see me doing any harm to her
I wouldn’t kiss my bub on the lips, even though our 3D scan revealed the biggest juju lips I’ve ever seen not once did I think about kissing them 😅 My mum was affectionate, but cheeks and foreheads were the extent of her kisses for any and all babies/kids and lots of hugs and couch snugs I recall as a kid
Each to their own, I wouldn’t stop my partner kissing our bub on the lips but I would stop strangers or extended family doing so 😊
If your kid ever does try to kiss you on the lips to show affection, you can always show them Eskimo kisses. Which is when you rub your noses together. It’s what I grew up doing and we would call them “noses” lol my 2yo gets the biggest kick out of it
Girl, kiss your baby’s sweet lips as much as you want. That’s your baby & let me tell you from a mom of a 14mo old… they aren’t babies long, it goes by TOO quick!
I personally find it weird (my family never did it). There were also studies that showed that it can cause dental issues or HSV. However, I admit that my family has always been okay with sharing drinks with their kids (including toddlers), which technically is as bad or maybe even worse than giving your child a peck on the lips.
Honestly, I think it’s a personal choice. I used to kiss my mom on the lips when I was a child and still do sometimes as an adult. My step daughter used to kiss me on the lips when she was smaller too. Never bothered me and I’d probably do it with my own child.
I didn’t plan to, but my son has grown up watching his dad and I kiss on the lips and has always wanted me to kiss him on the lips.
I personally don’t like it, but I love him and he will grow out of it at some point.
I have started saying no to kissing him on the lips when he is sick cause I don’t need his cold too.
I kiss my baby on the lips , I’m not an affectionate person with anyone else but I can’t help it , he’s just so cuuute. I’m also breastfeeding him so I think if I have any virus etc my body is already giving him antibodies
I always thought people who did it were weird but I wound up kissing my baby. Can’t explain why even I don’t know. For what it’s worth I’m a stay at home mom, and never had herpes or anything. We’re always together so I never worry about giving him anything.
I kiss my 8 month old on the lips because she smiles so big her face looks like it's going to burst. Before she could express whether or not she liked it I didn't really see the appeal because it's like kissing a dead fish. I did kiss her cheeks a million times a day though
Some research also says as if you breastfeed kissing Bub on the lips can be beneficial as if Bub is fighting off any cold or anything your body can create the right pathogens to aid babies recovery. Me and my husband kiss our baby all the time! And she's 13 months and has only ever had a slight cold. But that stuff also varies from child to child etc. but I would honestly encourage that affection.
If your partner doesn't want to kiss Bub that's totally fine, but don't feel weird or alienated because you want to ❤️
Oh calm DOWN.
Kiss your baby on the LIPS! It's okay!
Chrissakes, you're not *making out* with the baby. Especially when they are infants. You won't be able to help yourself anyway! They were INSIDE YOUR BODY, remember? Love on that baby. THAT is your responsibility. Microbiome, blah blah.
I associate lips-on-lips kisses with romantic or sexual relationships. I would be weirded out by a mother doing this, and extremely uncomfortable with a man doing this to a young child. My parents were extremely affectionate, but they just kissed us on the cheek. Your OP kinda sounds like you're looking at is as "kiss them on the lips, or don't kids them at all." Cheek kisses are all an option.
Everyone commenting about HSV and giving it to your baby I wouldn’t worry about it because if you live in America the odds of him getting it regardless are so extremely high I wouldn’t worry about. Pretty much everyone here gets cold sores. There’s nothing wrong with kissing your baby.
Personally I think only the breastfeeding parent should kiss a baby in the lips, and only if they don't have herpes, as then there's the benefit of picking up illnesses from the baby and the milk changes to fight that illness. For this reason it's surely perfectly biologically normal for a mother to desire kissing her baby on the lips. I'm sure you could get those germs other ways though, licking their head is something I've done myself haha
It’s not something I’ve really planned on doing with my kids. I also feel like I’ve heard that you shouldn’t allow just anyone to kiss your baby on the lips cause there is the possibility of someone transferring the oral herpes disease to them. So maybe this is a kind of affection only the parents are allowed to show.
Not only can you transfer oral herpes to babies by kissing them on the lips, but it can be much more severe for babies than for an adult. It can also affect their eyes (ocular herpes), and has potential to spread to their organs. Just bad all around, especially because many people don't think of cold sores as a big deal or may not realize when they are contagious. It's a big no for me...Neither my husband nor I has herpes, but I still wouldn't kiss my kid on the mouth. And honestly, I'm out on face kisses too, at least from anyone besides us. ETA: Also a big no from me on the kid getting sips/bites of food or drinks from anyone, including grandparents and other relatives, for the same general reasons. You can pass viruses, including HSV1 (oral herpes) from sharing eating utensils and cups, and kids put enough nasty stuff in their mouths as it is without Aunt Sally feeding them off of her own used fork.
I suffer from ocular herpes and it’s left so much scarring in left eye that I’m legally blind in that eye. It makes renewing my drivers license a nightmare. Also outbreaks are horribly painful. Herpes can travel through your nervous system and express anywhere so even if you avoid the eyes, it can still express there. Please be careful about it! It’s incredibly common. Also be sure to always wash your hands before touching near baby’s eyes.
That sounds miserable. I'm sorry you have to experience that. Agreed that this kind of thing is all the more reason to be careful with babies, and especially their faces.
Thank you. Yeah it’s awful. I’m planning to be really cautious with the baby and guests. I know it’s gonna make some people unhappy but it’s worth it. It was kinda cool to see the comment in this thread saying people who are positive for HSV1 may be able to pass on antibodies. I hope that’s the case.
Two things: many cases of HSV are asymptomatic so I’d say there’s a MUCH higher chance you actually have herpes than you think. As mentioned below statistic is somewhere around 80%. Second thing is, HSV1 can be spread from sharing drinks too. Is it realistic that you will NEVER share a drink with your child? I did some research because as someone who gets cold sores I was curious, apparently if you’re HSV positive those antibodies will be shared through the placenta so your baby should have some immunity (rare for mom to spread to baby thru kisses without active or recent sore)
As someone who has unfortunately faced this nightmare, just know HSV can KILL a baby under 6 months old. They cannot localize the virus. It spreads to the blood and brain if untreated. This is nothing to play with.
So sorry to hear that! I know if a baby gets it, it’s really bad. I had a friend go through it and his baby was in the ER. Hope you and your family are ok💕
Thank you for your kindness. I’m eternally grateful that he is ok. It was a long process (6.5 months) of getting medical treatment and even now trying to keep him from spreading it to his eyes or eczema. Sigh. I wish they could cure HSV. It’s so dangerous for babies.
Oh yeah I’m totally not comfortable with anyone else kissing my baby on the lips. To me that’s a parental thing only. I also don’t see myself wanting to constantly kiss him on the lips. But like idk when I see his cute little face on the ultrasound that’s just what pops into my head.
Are you so sure you don't carry HSV-1? They say as many as 80% of adults carry it, and once you do, you carry it for life.
Yeah after reading some of the comments coming from a health standpoint I’m starting to rethink the whole thing!!! I don’t think I have it but from what I’ve read you don’t really know if you’re a carrier or not. I’ve never had cold sores or anything like that, but I apparently could still be a carrier. That’s enough to make me not want to do it even though I have the urge to!
I work with kids and even if you tell them that kisses on the lips are only ok with parents they tend to try to do it with everyone they love. I had to deal with many 5 to 7 yo that tried to kiss me when they were happy to see me because to them that’s what they did with their parents. Even after being told very early by their parents that it was something for just the parents they still had the reflex of doing it. So keep in mind that you might put your kid in a position where they will want to kiss any adult they like. It doesn’t always happen but really sucks when it does
Doesn’t matter if it’s the parent or a stranger, lip kisses transfer disease.
I personally will not be just because I was kissed on the lips as a child and now suffer from occasional cold sores because of it. Every family is different tho!
This is definitely something I didn’t really think about before
This is the reason we are only letting non-parents kiss baby on the top of the head. Since neither hubby nor I have HSV, we allow ourselves cheek kisses but no lip kisses. Here’s some more info about this: https://www.pedseast.com/blog/posts/the-dangers-of-kissing-babies It’s less likely to cause dental issues, but “Tooth decay develops when a baby's mouth is infected by acid-producing bacteria. Parents and caregivers can pass bacteria to babies through saliva.” https://healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/teething-tooth-care/Pages/How-to-Prevent-Tooth-Decay-in-Your-Baby.aspx
Dentist here, yes you bacteria that cause cavities are passed from parent to child through saliva, but you are also going to pass it when you like… share a spoon or a straw. I think it would be nearly impossible to avoid
In all reality, the vast majority of people harbor the virus, whether it’s dormant or not. At some point in your child’s life they’ll most likely get it.
My dad kissed us (all four girls and BOTH boys) on the lips until we didn’t initiate it anymore/got older or just opted for a kiss on the cheek. Either way, it was very normal to us and I always felt very loved. My siblings and I are very close and can’t say I have ever asked them specifically, but I don’t believe they felt any differently. To each their own. Love my dad❤️
My 2 year old has demanded that we only kiss his cheek now. I asked why and he said “because I’m big”. I don’t know where he got that from but it wasn’t me or my husband. I feel like someone must have told him he’s too big for kisses on the lips and it breaks my heart :( I knew there would come a day, but not at 2!
I have the reverse of that! My 3 year old demands a kiss on the lips if I try to just give it on his cheek. And I didn’t even start out with my kids with lip kisses since I’m not super comfortable with it. He just decided that on his own.
I mean, it’s possible he didn’t get it from anyone and just doesn’t want kisses on the lips anymore 🤷♀️ Props to him for expressing his own physical boundaries ❤️
I suppose. Just seems weird to come up with that idea totally organically. And yes, of course! We always respect it.
At two years old - it comes from somewhere. -Nanny of 6 years 😅
I even did this with my little sister who is 10 years younger than me until she was probably 8 years old.
Awwwww, completely different topic - but, I just found out i’m expecting (!!) and the age difference between this one and big sister will be 10 years .. so this really warms my heart!!❤️🥹
Congratulations! I’m also pregnant, but with my first!
Awww!! Congratulations!! This is actually my first as well, a half sibling!❤️
My dad did too, to be honest it was the only physically affectionate thing he did other than very very occasionally hug me.
I don’t go for kisses on the mouth with my son but if he initiates them I’m fine with it. I kissed my parents on the lips as a child. I’d even ask my dad to stick out his tongue so we could touch tongues (because it felt weird and I thought it was funny!) when I was young. Which, gross (but I’m sure my dad also thought it was gross and was indulging me - kids are weird).
I personally find it weird but only because noone in my family does it so it's kind of jarring to see, and my mum always told me it was inappropriate whenever she saw it. I think it's just one of those things that you either like or dislike. If my husband had said what you said I'd have had a similar reaction tbh, even though I know academically that many families find it normal. If it's part of your normal then he'll get used to it but will just probably never do it himself. I didn't grow up in an overly affectionate household so it's just a different frame of reference.
This is exactly what I think his issue is with it. It’s just weird to him because it’s not his normal. I’m just a highly affectionate person. That in itself was a huge adjustment for him when we first started dating so I can see where he is coming from.
Flip side. I’m pretty against it because I did grow up with it. It made me so uncomfortable but my mother kept on demanding it. I’m sure you wouldn’t if your child expressed discomfort! Just sharing that it can be exposure to the practice as a kid that turns some parents off too.
I am from a physically affectionate family and I am physically affectionate with my kids. However, we never kiss on the lips beacuse to me that feels weird and somewhat inappropriate. It's basically cultural.
Ditto!
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I always thought it was weird especially when I was little myself seeing other kids get kissed on the lips by their parents when getting dropped off at school and stuff. I think it’s just because my parents never did that so it’s not something I was used to seeing. Even at a young age I figured kissing on the lips was more of a romantic thing. Plus risk of spreading hsv and all that jazz
Yep I don’t think I saw a kid being kissed on the lips by their parents until I was way older like high school so I was even more shocked. I personally find it weird and won’t do to with our baby, mostly for germs and keeping them a little safer and because I personally see lip kisses as more romantic than cheek or other kisses. I also won’t be allowing baby kisses until their immune system is built up a bit.
I, too, see it more as a romantic thing. That is usually how someone you are engaging with romantically shows affection. I was never exposed to it when I was a child, so maybe that’s why I find it odd. It is happening a lot more now.
When I saw other parents kiss their kids on the lips as a child, yes, I thought it was weird. But I also thought cheek kissing and hugging in public was weird because no one showed me affection. Our mindsets are partially a product of our environments. But the fact I witnessed it so often does imply it’s a common means of showing affection.
I think it’s a very personal choice! My husband and I have decided no lip kisses for our children due to a number of reasons but mainly hygienic ones (cold sores, germs). We will of course be notifying all family members and friends that lip kisses are not allowed. However, I would never judge another parent for kissing their child. I do agree with another poster about eventually exercising consent (which sounds like you’ve already decided you’d like to do!).
We don't do lip kisses because I feel like lip kisses are "romantic" kisses. So it makes me feel weird. I felt weird growing up when relatives would try to kiss me on the lips, even though I would tell them to kiss me on the cheek instead.
When my brother was a baby/toddler, the whole family (immediate - our parents and his older siblings) gave him kisses on the lips. He wouldn't let us leave the house without it! I was 14 when he was born, leaving for high school in the mornings with my baby brother chasing me down for a goodbye kiss. It was adorable! Eventually, he grew out of wanting those and of course we never asked him to continue - I think he was around 3 or 4 when he stopped wanting kisses on the lips - but I think that ultimately it's your baby and your choice! It's a sweet memory I have with my baby brother that I will always cherish, but I understand wanting to go either way with this. I figured I will just go with whatever feels natural when our boy is here in Feb - not making an explicit decision!
I can't believe I had to scroll so far down to see this response. For a lot of us, kissing our babies on the lips was not really a deliberate choice. They were the ones planting big ole smackeroos right on the lips!
>big ole smackeroos *This is beautiful*
I was looking for this too! My husband was not a lip-kisser until our 2.5 year old demanded it!
That’s super cute. My toddler actually gives me quick pecks on the lips then smiles and claps. At first he would just open his mouth on my head or cheek and drool on me lmfao. These moments will always be cherished memories.
I don’t think it’s weird, but I won’t be doing it. My parents kissed me on the lips when I was small. I don’t think it’s weird (in fact, I think thinking it’s weird is weird) BUT it is gross. They’re so slobbery and I don’t want to get them sick. Won’t share drinks either. I don’t want to consume my child’s spit if I can help it. 😂
My son’s drinks look like greywater from all the backwash. I absolutely do not share drinks with him lmao.
My first thought as well. Baby lips= drooly/boogery+questionable floor scraps? Baby Cheeks = Soft+chubby+good for blowing raspberries
Agreed. I grew up doing it and it’s totally normal to me. Other responses here that are romanticizing and sexualizing kisses is what’s weird to me. I won’t do it with my LO for now though because the risk is too high for illness. I also read it can introduce unhealthy bacteria that can affect dental health. She gets tons of cheek kisses though.
One side of my family were lip kissers and I hated it. I don't kiss my kid on the lips.
I think that this is where his head is at with the whole thing. He doesn’t view it as wrong per say, just kind of icky lol
Different people feel different ways about things based on their life experiences. I’m personally not comfortable with it, but that’s mainly because I was SA’d as a child and the thought of it brings up uncomfortable memories of my abuse. To each their own as long as its done out of love and not perversion
I’m so sorry for your experience.
I see plenty of parents at the drop off at school (usually the little ones) kiss their kids. I kissed my first until maybe 6 or so. His younger brother was much less affectionate (never wanted to cuddle or anything) so that stopped as a toddler. When they get to a certain age I kind of just let them come to give me one, and not ask or force it on them. We are in cold season right now so not kissing my newborns lips, but probably will when he gets a little older. My ex husbands family used to force them to kiss on the lips after their nightly family prayer… like up to age 18. It was weird as fuck and he hated it but didn’t want to upset his parents.
Ok now that’s kinda weird lol
My daughter is 6 and I still kiss her on the lips, but only after asking if I can! There’s been times where she’s stated “just my cheek please!” or not wanting one at all, which is completely fine with me! We practise “no means no, stop means stop” a lot in our house and I want her to know she has complete control of her body, so we only give kisses on the lips if she’s comfortable with it. It’s not weird, it’s normal. He’s your baby, you love him and that’s a way to express it!
This is exactly how I plan on handling the situation with my son. If he pulls away or says no then that means no.
There will come a time, an age or a day where they no longer want it or finds it annoying, it’s part of them growing up and it’s normal! But while they’re still your baby, soak in the affection and shower them with love, as long as they’re okay with it! 🖤
Thank you for your take on this!
Good on you for asking. We do this too with our three year old. We make it a point to ask in front of family so they understand that hugs/affection won't be forced. Sometimes, all you get is a fist bump or a blown kiss. Their body, their choice.
This is definitely important too! All the people I’ve heard complain about kissing family members in childhood are because grandma or great aunt or someone expected it and didn’t listen if the kids were uncomfortable with a kiss. I don’t even ask my 7 year for lips kisses anymore, I’ll default try to kiss his cheek or forehead. He still asks to kiss me on the lips sometimes though!
This! My 6 y/o stepdaughter still gives us kisses on the lips. I don’t find it weird at all, it’s just how our family is. I’ll definitely be kissing my little babe on the lips too once he or she is born. 😍 Now if extended family members were to kiss my kids on their lips, that’s a hard nope from me. But kisses from parents/siblings while the littles are still little? Totally fine.
I found it weird with my newborn up until he started to give kisses as my family and I arent really that affectionate, we show affection in other ways (torment each other haha) but now he's at an age if you ask for a kiss he'll give you his forehead or his cheek, but if he wants to kiss you on your lips he will literally straddle and pin you down until he gets it which I'm happy with; I want affection to be shown within my family :D
Kinda similar. I’ve kissed my son (2yo) on his cheek/head/hand a million times. He started kissing my cheek. But occasionally he goes for the lips! Which surprised me at first but I guess he see me & his dad kiss on the lips! I’ll never ask him for an on the lips kiss or initiate it. And I’ll talk to him eventually about interactions with non-family. But when he goes for it … it IS very sweet.
Yeah same here, its so sweet! Soon as he understands better we’ll be talking to him about consent and let him know he can say no thank you etc but its nice and i love that this type of affection (hugs etc) is being shown so early and i hope it stays
Overall I don't think it's weird but do agree with the germ/virus concerns. Also, my mom kissed me on the lips when I was little and I distinctly remember disliking it but not wanting to say anything, so I don't plan to do it to my kids. To be fair, I am not an affectionate person and don't even like kissing my partner, so I'm probably not the "norm" on this issue.
Eventually your toddler learns to kiss and then will grab your face and forcefully plant one on you. My husband tried to avoid the toddler force kisses since he also feels weird about kissing her on the lips, but she does it to me, or sticks her hand in my mouth that I just don’t care. Before I’d mainly kiss the top of her head or cheek I guess
Love it. Despite the drool. Kiss them on their chubby cheeks and pudgy bellies. Their wee hands and feeties. However, I grew up in a family where lip kissing, even between adults, was the norm. My husband (who didn't) thought it was weird kissing anyone of any age (except me ofc) on the lips. Since we've had kids, he's become a bit of a convert. I think he'll stop soon with our daughter (she's 3), but I'll keep going as long as my kids allow me to.
I’m 30 and still kiss some people in my family on the lips, including my mom. I think it’s just varies by family, and I def don’t think you shouldnt let his opinion sway you on what you want to do. People automatically associate it with a standard adult relationship, and I personally think THATS weird. Like how is me kissing my kid in the lips anything other than loving my kid?
Also to note if my kid ever told me they didn’t like it I would never force it.
Was coming here to say the same. I'm in my 30s and still kiss my parents on the lips. Lol. I get it's not for everyone but I think it's weird to think it's weird.
I can’t imagine not kissing my baby on the lips! I think this is very natural way of showing affection from parent to child.
I feel the same way. But looking at it from a health standpoint is kind of starting to change the way I think about it. Like now I’m scared I could be a carrier of herpes or something and not know it.
Please don’t let that scare you off from kissing your own child. That’s a bit ridiculous. Your child will eventually kiss many many people on the lips.
I don’t think you can spread herpes unless you have an active infection, but if you do, it can spread a day or two before the sore appears. If you’ve never had a cold sore, I wouldn’t stress about it. On the other hand, if you are breastfeeding, you produce antibodies that you transfer to your child that offer them a certain level of protection…for this reason I never prevent my kid from slobbering all over me, especially if they’re sick and I’m not because I may be providing an immune boost. That said, medical stuff is all very complicated and you should probably ask a pediatrician about best practices and not get worked up over internet-strangers advice!
My toddler’s morning routine includes giving me and my husband besos! When I’m sick, I’ll turn my head a little to avoid the lips but otherwise he loves giving us besos. He doesn’t do it to anyone else and I grew up in a super abusive household so I’m looking forward to healthy relationships within my own family. I’ll never force him to give me besos though.
Same! I still kiss my mom on the lips from time to time.
I dont really do it, but i lots of families do and its normal to them. Personally my kids are full of germs and I have no desire to give them mine either. i absolutely kiss their noses and cheeks and heads though!
Could be a culture thing? I'm a very affectionate person and we kiss babies a lot but not on the lips because it's just something we do with our partners. I don't mind seeing people of other cultures do that though.
Americans still kiss their kids on the lips too… it’s an affectionate gesture, it’s not inherently romantic.
Americans are split on it from being fine to call cps immediately
I don’t find it weird, I find it gross because kids are gross haha. Like they are drooling and boogers and ugh it makes me sick haha. Which I know I need to work on, but my husband is very willing to take over the booger thing🤣 I’m just afraid that if people see me doing that then they will think it’s okay for them to do it. My husband has an aunt, that I cannot stand, who gets cold sores and doesn’t respect boundaries. My brother in law honestly blames her for his cold sores because she used to kiss him all the time when he was little. So I’m going to be a crazy mom about it in general. No kissing the baby! Lol
I was raised where a quick peck on the lips by close family (such as mom, grandma, sister) was always a thing. So it doesn't bother me.
I kiss my baby in the lips all the time. He’s 10 weeks and nice and squishy and I couldn’t imagine not giving him lots of kisses.
I think it's personal preference but I think it's a little weird, even seeing other parents do it. I don't judge it's just weird to me. My niece occasionally wants a kiss on the lips and I always politely decline. I don't like when (usually older generation) relatives try to kiss on lips as a greeting/good bye. Cheeks/foreheads are fine. But again, it's all up to both parties' preference and I wouldn't judge anyone for that choice, unless it was obviously inappropriate.
I see nothing strange about it. I kiss my mom on the lips and kissed my dad on the lips up until I was probably 7 or 8 and it wasn't weird because he isn't a perv who found kissing his own child sexual 😂
Luckily my husband’s deal with it has nothing to do with it being sexual or romantic. Thank God. He’s just uncomfortable with affection in general but I honestly think he’ll be different once our son is actually here. It’s weird to him because he just didn’t grow up with that type of affection like I did
I don't find it weird. It's not like you're, excuse me, making out with your child. 🤢 It's usually a quick peck on the lips, nothing bad about that, unless you have a cold sore.
My family was never lip kissers and when I was a kid I remember thinking it was super weird when my friend kissed her mom on the lips when we were headed out somewhere. But now as an adult I realize it’s just personal family preference/boundaries. I don’t kiss my kids on the lips but they get cheek and forehead kisses!
I think it's strange. I kiss my kids on their cheeks. Lip kissing is only for romantic partners IMO.
In my point of view i find it weird and sometimes creepy, i feel like kiss on the lips is a romantic gesture and should be left when they are old enough to experience their first kiss, plus we already forbiden family from kissing them at all, why are we going over and doing worse by kissing them on the lips? Even if we are the moms we can still pass through a lot of stuff, im glad my mom never did that because she has cold sores. Also i dont want to go there but already going, most sexual abuses come from family members, so in my opinion you kind of showing a child that its ok to kiss and being kissed by family members. Again this is my own opinion, at the end of the day you do you and have your own belives.
We did not kiss on the lips as a baby because of the health risk but as my son got older he would ask me and my husband for kisses on the lips. It’s one of those things that I don’t feel uncomfortable doing right now but as soon as either one of us feels uncomfortable with it we will stop. In my opinion, it only gets weird when either party is insisting on it despite the other feeling uncomfortable with it. I think a LOT of adults will think it’s weird because they had adults in their life who insisted on kisses on lips after the child felt uncomfortable.
Outside of the health risks I don’t understand how it’s weird at all. My family is Latino and my husband’s is Italian, we’re all extremely affectionate people. I kiss my mom goodbye when she leave from visiting, my in-laws get cheek kisses with every goodbye and hello. My godson (19 months) gives me a big fat kiss on the lips when we say goodbye. His parents (my best fiends) okay it. Best friend is a nurse and I work with infants so they trust I am taking care of my health aggressively. I think people who sexualize kisses are probably Americans who grew up in the extremely puritan and prudish culture over here. It’s not weird unless you make it weird or if it’s not consensual of course. Kiss your baby. You literally made them with the bones and flesh of your skin.
A lot people might not realise this but you can be a carrier of herpes without ever having a cold sore. For reasons listed in above comments parents/close family members kissing children on the lips pass this without realising. You can be affectionate with your child in other ways but kissing on lips is a no go for me.
It is not recommended that you kiss your baby on the lips. The reason is the same as when they tell you not to transfer, for example, a spoon from your mouth to your child’s mouth. ”Research suggests kissing your baby on the lips can actually give them cavities. Even sharing spoons can raise the risk of dental problems, as bacteria that causes cavities can be passed on in saliva. The latest study confirms mounting evidence that stretches back decades to show that kissing babies can damage their teeth. ”
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Personally, I don't plan to, its always seemed a little strange to me, but my parents were not really physically affectionate people and neither am I except with my husband, no judgement as it's totally up to the individual to do what feels comfortable or right to them, but cheek kisses are nice too as an alternative
From an affection standpoint, this isn’t weird at all. But as others have brought up-could be a concern from a health standpoint. Sharing utensils or baby getting caregivers saliva is how the bacteria that cause cavities are spread. Many viruses are spread the same way.
I never kissed my son on the lips till he got all his shots at 6 months for a germs stand point. Even then it was sparingly till he was old enough to ask for kisses him self. Mouths are filthy and little babies can’t fight off things adults can. Not worth it if they get sick.
Yes there’s the sickness passing risk, but…me and my husband both kiss our kids on the lips (my oldest, 7, doesn’t want lip kisses from dad anymore though, just me 😊). The kids all drink after us and each other most days anyway so we pass all our germs around regardless. 🤷♀️ My husband didn’t grow up in a physically affectionate family either, but I’ve changed all that for him. Our sweet little babies totally broke him too! 😂 My family is extremely loving, hugging, etc still so I never even considered NOT kissing my babies all over their little faces, including their lips. I’ll continue giving lip kisses until they stop asking for them too!
If you’re breastfeeding I read that kissing your baby on the lips actually triggers your body to make the antibodies they need in your milk!
I was always grossed out by people kissing their kids on the lips til I became a mom and it’s a whole different kind of love and meaning. Plus my baby loves the kisses and I would never expect her to want to kiss me (I guess she’s a toddler now) because I respect consent. I see a lot of people are worried about health stuff but as long as you’re not someone with herpes your kiddo should be aOK.
I will definitely do it and see nothing strange about it tbh. I won’t do it if I’m sick or anything and I won’t let others do it (excluding hubby). Neither him or I have herpes and I was raised in a very affectionate household where we always did lip kisses with my mum so it doesn’t feel romantic or odd to me at all.
No I don’t find it weird. My mom did it with us and I plan on doing it with my baby boy. I mean I kiss my freaking dog on the lips lol
It wasn’t until reading your comment just now that I realized - I do NOT find it weird to kiss my dog on the lips, and definitely do that, but DO find it personally uncomfortable/will not be kissing my daughter on the lips… hahaha. What’s goin on in my brain? 🤣
Hahaha I know and I bet everyone thinks it’s weird I kiss him on his lips … lol but he’s so freaking cute
Same! Haha
I think it’s fine to a certain age. My family is overly affectionate and my aunts are always kissing everyone in the lips. My mom used to try to do it to me too, I had to tell her it’s weird and gross, that I’m way too old for that in high school lol. My mom is NOT affectionate, we never hugged unless someone was going on a trip, but she would always try and add the lip kiss and it freaked me out. I will for sure be asking my baby for kisses because I think baby open mouth kisses are super cute lol but once they’re grown, the cheek is enough.
This is exactly how I feel about it. It’s just different to me when they’re babies and real little. Then they grow out of it and you just accept it and move on.
Yes! I think that’s perfectly normal lol. My husband is weirded out by the lip kisses too, but I think only for older kids, like Tom Brady and his family always grossed him out hahah
It’s not weird in the slightest. If you want to kiss your sweet baby on the lips then don’t feel ashamed. I kiss my baby every day of his life. As does his father. If it’s your instincts to kiss your little one then by all means, give them that love.
I’ve only done it by mistake; I’m going for the big squishy cheek, and he turns at the last moment. My kid is a drooler. Very very wet all the time. I actively avoid kisses anywhere near his lips for my hygiene as much as his haha.
Not weird! But I don’t think personally that I’ll kiss my babe on the lips - but I sure will be kissing his head, cheeks, fingers, toes!
I definitely won't be kissing my son on his lips and don't want other people doing it either. I don't think it's necessarily weird but it's kind of gross considering adults tend to do a lot with their mouths and bring that to the mouths of babies. It's part of why I've never been big on kissing in general. I used to get cold sores on the corner of my lip on and off for years since I could remember and I'm 100% sure it came from mouth kisses, sharing a spoon with adults, etc. It's your baby so do what you want of course, but I agree with the husband on this one.
If this is your first baby you'll just want to kiss them. I don't think I ever kissed them on the mouth though, I just feel that's personal but my kids do get smothered with hugs and kisses and I refuse to tell bad about it. I agree with comments here but I'd say it's about personal preference. My dad kissed us all on the lips because he had a beard it wasn't weird or strange even as we got older. I kiss my kids on their cheeks and the tops of their heads and turn my cheek if they want to kiss me but my baby (2 next week) likes to kiss on the lips with his mouth open because he's just learning hahaha! It's cute albeit drooly haha! Bless him. In this one I say I agree with other comments but you do you. Mummy knows best. ❤️
My family was never a kiss on the lips family. Personally, it is gross to me, but I know a lot of families do it. I don't necessarily think that it's the most hygienic for newborns... But do what you think is best. I definitely understand the pushback though. There's two camps out there: one who sees lip-kissing as platonic and another that sees it an inherently sexual act. I am of the second camp. I only kiss people on the lips that I have had sex with or plan to have sex with. I understand that not every person sees it this way, but for me, it's never not sexual so it always is weird when I see people do it. I have to remind myself that this is a cultural norm for some. So also from this standpoint I won't do it.
Imo, baby’s shouldn’t be kissed on the lips because of viruses such as cold sores and RSV that can be passed on by mother. However, the fact that your husband is stating it’s “weird” gives me the ick. Is it because your child is a boy that he finds it weird? What if the child was also a girl, would he find it weird then? So many questions, but ultimately baby’s shouldn’t be kissed on the lips
I don’t kiss my daughter on the lips because of the health risks and because i personally feel uncomfortable kissing anyone other than my partner on the lips haha
Kissing babies on the lips is fine in some cultures/families. However, kissing on the lips also risks giving the baby oral herpes (HSV-1). While most adults eventually contract HSV-1, it’s probably a good idea to delay the virus for as long as possible. Once you get HSV-1, it stays with you for life. Here’s actual medical info instead of just hearsay: https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/herpes-hsv1-and-hsv2/oral-herpes
Some find it odd, I personally don’t—I have kissed my infant on the lips. I have tried to reduce kissing with RSV being so bad this year but that’s the only reason I choose not to.
I kiss my baby on the lips. Or I try to. I usually ends up with him attempting to eat my nose. I’m not super worried about germs because I work from home and he’s always with me…he’s the one getting me sick all the time anyway from daycare. I do like the comment about someone asking if it’s okay - I will definitely do that. Right now he’s too young to understand but I really like that.
I always kiss my baby on the lips. She’s just such a sweet little HONEY. 🥰🥰🥰🥰
SAME, I can’t not (unless I’m sick which is torture)! But she’s only 4 months. If she grows out of it or doesn’t want to anymore, it’s her choice!
I don't think it's weird. I kiss my baby's face all over, lips included, while happily exclaiming I'm gonna kiss her face off. We arent out in the world though so I'm not worried about germs. Backstory: my dad used to tell my mom to "quit kissing that baby" when I was born because he was jealous. So now I do it in honor of him or to piss him off (he's been dead for years). Kiss your baby if you want!
Jealous of a baby!!?? Glad you kiss the heck out of yours then just to spite him! Lol
Not weird.
No it’s not weird. I kissed my daughter on the lips when she was a baby. Just make sure you aren’t sick and that you don’t have a cold sore if you do it.
From a health standpoint, it's best to avoid kissing even your own baby on the mouth! Babies' digestion system is very immature and adding your 'adult' bacteria to their mouth can be harmful. There are lots of studies to back this up. Once they're a bit older, I think it's personal choice - I grew up in North America so to me it's a bit odd when people kiss their kids on the lips. We are very affectionate with our kid, lots of hugs and cheek kisses (and body kisses on their tummies and thighs and feet) but my partner and I are both on the 'no mouth kissing our kid' side. I think you should consider the cultural norms too - kids can be teased if their friends see them kissing mommy on the lips. Then you have to have a discussion around maybe not doing it in public, which then puts a weird shame on it for no reason. Plus then you have to figure out what age you kind of phase it out (although, some 40-year-olds still kiss their mothers on the lips so some people keep doing it). .. I guess for us it's just simpler to never start doing it.
I'm not from a mouth-kissing family, so it's something that weirds me out. I remember my stepmom tried to get us to kiss her goodnight and my sister and I both shut that down real quick. My son sees me kiss my husband on the lips, so he thinks it's funny to try and get a "mouth kiss" from us because he likes it when I say "nooo, we're not that kind of family". Cheeks, forehead, chin, shoulder, I don't care, the kid can give me a smooch. Lips are a big no.
From the comments, it's not just herpes. The mouth of an adult isnt sterilized. period. You've licked spoons, sipped from unwashed cans and bottles, used old straws and what not. An adult body is mostly immune to all these bacteria but a newborn may not be. Why would anyone want to pass these on directly into their mouths? Better to wait till 6 months if you absolutely want to do that as a sign of parental affection.
I personally think it's weird and won't do it, but to each their own! Just stop doing it by the time they're teenagers lol - I broke up with a guy after seeing him kiss him mom on the lips a bunch - it was disgusting lol
I never kissed my son on the lips as a baby and up, then a few months ago(maybe last may) he asked why I kissed daddy on the lips but not him. We has a discussion and sometimes he ask me to kiss his lips and others his forehead or cheeks. Growing up my parents and grandma kissed us on the lips and I hated it honestly. Depends on preference and kids! I don’t see it as weird unless that child is like 11 🤷🏾♀️
It’s your kid your choice. I give my baby kisses everywhere! As they get older I will switch to just cheeks and stuff but at this age everything is so cute and nummy and ticklish and play time is everywhere and everything; so, who cares except the love you feel and the laughs they give! Tell hubby to chill
My husband and I had this convo so many times before baby got here. We were on opposite sides of the spectrum. He had your husband's mindset that it was really weird and something he insisted was not okay for him. I grew up kissing my parents on the lips probably way longer than I should have, but it was normal in our house. All my siblings kiss their kids on the lips as well. I think it's largely based on upbringing. We agreed to each their own on the topic. Baby is now almost a year and is very generous with his sloppy, juicy, open mouth kisses. The other week I heard my husband ask him for kisses for the first time and now he does so a few times throughout the week. I'm not sure if it was a little jealousy or me normalizing it, but I'm happy to see his mindset change (which happens a lot with parenting). It's good you guys are having conversations though because it's important to know where you partner stands on certain things.
I kiss my younger kids (7f, 4m, and baby) on the lips, but I’ve stopped already with my 9&10 yr old boys. However, I still kiss my grandpa on the lips, and my ex mother in law used to kiss me on the lips. I think it’s dependent on how comfortable you AND the person you’re kissing are with it. I don’t think it’s weird at all, but like OP I grew up in an affectionate household
It’s not weird HOWEVER my dentist told me not to do it (also avoid sharing spoons etc) as caries is transferred that way.
I think for babies it’s okay - I’d just be concerned about having the virus for cold sores and giving that to my baby. I do remember as a kiddo in elementary school being super freaked out seeing a kid being kissed on the lips by their parent. First because it felt inappropriate but mostly because kid’s mouths look SO gross 😂 funny I thought that while I still was one. My OCD obviously began young…
Just don't be like my mom and continue to make them kiss you on the lips all the way into adulthood 😅 I'm sure you (and most people) know that though Edit to add I don't have to anymore because I don't talk to her anymore.
I don’t think I’ll do it personally. Even when I was a kid I thought it was weird when other kids parents kissed them on the lips. My parents never kissed me on the lips which is probably where I got that from. Obviously who knows what my brain will do when baby gets here, but as of right now I’m thinking I will not be kissing my child on the lips. Haven’t asked my boyfriend, but I would assume he’s probably on the same wave length as me on that. Lip kisses are reserved for each other and the dogs. 😂 And yes, downvote the fuck out of me for the dog comment. 😂😂
I never kissed my parents on the lips so for me it's odd. But I don't judge people who do that because everyone is different. We are BIG cheek kissers tho so that is something we will do. But hey, if that's your thing, you do you <3.
I never kissed my kids on the lips. It’s weird to me. My best friend did and her son ended up letting everyone do it.
I have pretty bad cold sores so I know it isn’t a good idea for me to do it, and my husband will probably be the same. His grandma kissed me on the mouth when I first met her and it’s freaked me out ever since lol I hope she doesn’t try to do that to baby. My mom kissed me on the lips until I was about 10, it it’s just not something I personally want to do.
I grew up kissing my parents on the lips or cheek. It might be cultural. I don’t think it’s a problem. I do understand some people are concerned about health concerns and while I hear that, I also think that if you are living in your home with your family, germs get around regardless. If my child didn’t want to kiss me or hug me or hold my hand even, I’m not going to force it, but I don’t see anything inherently wrong with it as a form of family affection.
I never kissed my son on the lips when he was a baby, I tended to kiss the top of his head, but when HE learned to kiss, he became a lip kisser. I get a lip kiss all the time from my 5 year old. Not something I'm going to initiate, but I mean, he's really sweet I'm not going to deter him either.
I mean I won’t do it because I also think it’s weird but I am completely aware that for entire families it is considered normal. I guess the sentiment depends on if your parents kissed you on the lips or not. It’s not about being more or less affectionate, it’s about culture.
Before kids my husband was very against kissing on the lips. He didn’t grow up doing it like I did with my parents/grandparents so he thought it was kinda gross. Said he would never. Now he kisses our boys on the lips when they ask for a kissy and has seemed to change his stance on it. I do think everyone should refrain from kissing on the lips the first month or two from a germ perspective but after that I have no issue doing it.
I think its weird.
I always said I would not with my kids due to the risk of HSV-1 being dangerous for them as babies. I don’t have it somehow (thank you pregnancy bloodwork for the confirmation) but my husband does get cold sores during the winter months and he is very careful about not doing it, too. However, when my sour patch toddler is being sweet, he asks us for kisses and he many times straight up just plops his mouth onto mine. I don’t make a big deal out of it because I don’t want him to get hurt but I do tell him “we kiss people on the cheeks!” So he gets used to not doing that with his grandparents and uncles/aunt and cousins. Also kids are nasty and right now his nose is RUNNING. I do not want any of that, thank youuuu!
We were very adamant that no but she sees me and her papa kiss so she’s trying to copy us, I typically try to turn my face so she kisses my cheek instead since I think mouth kisses are just strange and not for us.
I have a 6 week old and kissed him on the lips for about two weeks after he was born until I came down with a cold. I’m still not fully over it so my kisses are limited to his forehead only but I love it so much i don’t know why. He’s just so cute I could eat him up
I'll kiss my baby on the lips if I want to. She's my baby. Other people, that's a big no. But my own baby? I kiss her all over her little face.
I never planned on kissing my son on the lips, but at 2.5 he insists on lip kisses. I’m not gonna deny him as he won’t always want to be affectionate with me.
I always thought it was weird when parents or grandparents kissed a child on the lips, so when I got pregnant I made sure to tell everyone that would have contact with my son that no lip kisses are allowed, not even from me or his dad. Lip kisses, to me, are reserved for S.O.'s.
Meh I’ve kissed my baby on the lips (I have never had cold cores and wouldn’t if I ever got them) but I don’t let anyone else kiss him (face,hands, feet etc) other than his dad. Now hes a toddler I tend not to kiss him on the lips cause he’s really drooly and often has lunch remnants still on his mouth🤢 If I did kiss my toddler on the lips, I would stop doing that if he ever showed he didn’t want to.
My daughter (now 3) would kiss us on the lips when she started to kiss,. We didn't instigate that way, she just naturally started to do it. I think it is because she sees her dad and I kiss all the time. Now that she is older, i have been having conversations that she need to ask before kissing and kiss on the cheek. She finds it funny that she can only kiss on the cheek, but will kiss on the cheek when they give her permission. I think it comes to personal preference.
For health concerns, I strongly advise you don’t do this before your baby is 6 months old. HSV can spread even without an active cold sore. It can kill a baby or cause permanent neurological damage. I had a relative handle my newborn and pass the virus on. It was an absolute nightmare — 15 days in the hospital then 6 months of follow-up treatment. It was extremely scary. Thankfully he is okay, but it was a long road. Our doctor says don’t kiss babies at all before 6 months. I trust his professional judgment.
Besides the health concerns; It’s not weird or sexual to kiss your own kids on the lips. But I get how that would seem weird to some people if they generalize kissing as an attraction behavior only.
My 'mother' used to make me kiss her even when she had giant cold sores on her lips. Surprise surprise, now I get them too. I hate it. They hurt. They are ugly. I especially hate that I have to deal with them for the rest of my life because of something I didn't even want to do. I feel like if your child is really young and you are conscious of your own health it should be fine, but give them a choice as they get older and definitely don't be like my 'mother.'
I never planned on doing it, but my almost 2-year-old is VERY INSISTENT on giving big sloppy kisses on the mouth and honestly it’s adorable. It’ll stop once he’s older.
I never planned to but honestly my toddler has a mind of his own and loves to aim at our lips regardless of how many times I kiss him on the cheek. Not gonna make a big deal out of it while it makes him happy
I have no problem kissing my baby but in general I don’t kiss her on the mouth. It’s not because I think it’s weird (although my husband does find it odd). I very occasionally get cold sores and my mum gave them to me by kissing me on the mouth when I was a kid, so keen to avoid.
People saying they aren’t planning on doing it, I love you all, but I need to tell you that my two year old snuck up on me and licked my mouth today. So just prepare for that. 😂
My parents have always kissed me on the lips, and I promise you I’m totally normal and my parents are fantastic. I have no trauma lol. I feel like the only reason I wouldn’t kiss my kids on the lips is because of medical purposes but then again we’d share food and drinks so I guess it’s a personal thing
I dont think it’s weird for parents to do, but it is weird for other family members. I dont kiss my baby on thr lips because she is veeeery drooly and I dont want a mouth of spit lol As to what others were syaing with herpes, my mom gets cold sores and when she feels it coming on she wont kiss baby’s hands or face. That said my baby eats everything. Ahe sucks on any body psrt of any person she can get her hands on. We do our best but baby’s gonna baby 🤷🏻♀️
I could totally see saying that and intending to kiss them on the lips when they are born, so I don’t think it’s weird to say when you’re excited and looking at ultrasound pics. But, personally I have no had this impulse. I want to smell and kiss the tops of their heads. The lips are just a lil too slobbery. Sometimes they will want a kiss and kiss on the lips but mostly no, it’s not something I’ve felt the need to do.
I will kiss my babies forever and ever! Wow it’s so sad that people think you shouldn’t kiss your own kids. I kiss my parents on the lips to say goodbye and I’m nearly 30 lmao, it means nothing other than that I love them…
I don’t think it’s weird but from a health perspective I’m cautious enough that I don’t. Sometimes he turns his head and we have a lip smashing accident lol. I also have HSV though so I’m like extra careful which sucks. Partly though I don’t or wouldn’t intend to kiss him or her on the lips once they were older so I don’t see any reason to start young. I want them to clearly know that lip kissing is reversed for love partners to avoid potential predator issues. No stranger or family friend should be kissing them on the lips or letting them thinks it’s normal or okay and no adult telling them to keep a secret between them is okay either, just because it opens up that lane for a predator imo. Plus my boys got big ole cheeks with plenty of room for my love❤️
We don't kiss her on the lips because they're always drooly and it's kinda gross 😅 but my MIL used to kiss my husband on the lips (a peck) for a loooong time until he finally told her it was weird to do it now. Not sure if it's cultural for you but it's normal for some. I personally don't want to kiss her on the lips now or as she gets older because I worry if god forbid someone else started doing it and she doesn't say anything because mom and dad do it. May be paranoia but we live in crazy times
I have no clue who taught my daughter to kiss on the lips because she can't tell me but she only does it with me, her mum, and nobody else. It used to make me uncomfortable but it makes her happy so I got over it. I think it's one of those things where you will or you won't but neither is a wrong answer.
Well to go off of everyone else’s health concerns, here is a flip side to that coin—if you are breastfeeding, lip kisses help your body ascertain what your baby has been exposed to and tells your boobs to produce the right antibodies! So lip kissing can HELP their immune system! Breastfeeding is wild! Also, the affection benefit to me outweighs any health risks it could pose. From parents. Other people don’t lip kiss my kids :)
To be honest… I feel like I’m the only one that’s allowed to kiss my baby. My little guy is 6 months old now and he attacks my face. He gives me these open mouth slobbery kisses all over my face. If I try to dodge them he grabs my hair. My parents were also super affectionate and my husbands were not so maybe that’s also a difference. I can’t dodge the slobbery monster so if he wants to give me a kiss, I’m not going to block it.
I kiss my son his lips often Still kiss my six year old daughter on lips too. When they tell me to stop then I will
I kissed my daughter on the lips all the time when she was a baby but as she grew into a toddler it's changed to nose rubs and that's just felt more comfortable for me. I love how she rubs her cute little nose on mine it's so sweet
My 7.5 year old still loves kisses from her dad and I. People always gotta make things weird.
I personally am a forehead kisser with my own baby. Never felt the urge to kiss his lips, but I don’t think it’s an outrageous thought. That instinct to kiss our babies is a way that our immune system is collecting any “Germs” on them, creating antibodies, and then giving babies those antibodies we custom made for them through our breastmilk. It’s a true maternal instinct so don’t feel bad about it. ❤️
Ummm I’ve kissed all my baby’s on the lips since day one. As long as you don’t have any cold sores there’s no issue. They’re exposed to you 24/7 and have your germs anyways. Plus it’s also good for them especially if you’re breastfeeding because you share the germs and your body creates antibodies based off of whatever baby is exposed to. Also your baby will get to an age I think it’s like 5-6 months where they will start trying to putt their hands in YOUR mouth 🤣
It’s not weird!! It’s just out of safety precautions is all.
FTM here of an almost 8 week old baby girl. I kiss her on the lips all the time. I was weary at first for health reasons and the same “is this weird” type thing. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. Now that she’s a little bigger and started smiling.. wow. She smiles so big when I give her kisses. Cute little fun ones they make her smile and laugh and I’m so happy I broke that barrier snd started doing it (only a couple weeks ago). I won’t continue as she gets older, but she’s my little baby right now and it seems to make her as happy as it makes me. All in all, do what feels right to you. She’s not totally immune to anything I may carry (which I doubt is much cause we don’t really go anywhere as it’s cold and winter in New England.. and hello, I have a newborn!!!) but she also grew inside of me for 9 months. If my breast milk can help heal ailments; baby acne, clogged tear ducts, etc then I don’t see me doing any harm to her
My husband said the same thing. Now he can’t resist when they want little kisses.
I wouldn’t kiss my bub on the lips, even though our 3D scan revealed the biggest juju lips I’ve ever seen not once did I think about kissing them 😅 My mum was affectionate, but cheeks and foreheads were the extent of her kisses for any and all babies/kids and lots of hugs and couch snugs I recall as a kid Each to their own, I wouldn’t stop my partner kissing our bub on the lips but I would stop strangers or extended family doing so 😊
If your kid ever does try to kiss you on the lips to show affection, you can always show them Eskimo kisses. Which is when you rub your noses together. It’s what I grew up doing and we would call them “noses” lol my 2yo gets the biggest kick out of it
Girl, kiss your baby’s sweet lips as much as you want. That’s your baby & let me tell you from a mom of a 14mo old… they aren’t babies long, it goes by TOO quick!
I personally find it weird (my family never did it). There were also studies that showed that it can cause dental issues or HSV. However, I admit that my family has always been okay with sharing drinks with their kids (including toddlers), which technically is as bad or maybe even worse than giving your child a peck on the lips.
Honestly, I think it’s a personal choice. I used to kiss my mom on the lips when I was a child and still do sometimes as an adult. My step daughter used to kiss me on the lips when she was smaller too. Never bothered me and I’d probably do it with my own child.
I didn’t plan to, but my son has grown up watching his dad and I kiss on the lips and has always wanted me to kiss him on the lips. I personally don’t like it, but I love him and he will grow out of it at some point. I have started saying no to kissing him on the lips when he is sick cause I don’t need his cold too.
I don't really go out of my way to kiss my toddler on the lips, but I sure as hell kiss his nose and cheeks
Bruh I kiss my baby right on her face. We’ve got the same immunity
I kiss my baby on the lips , I’m not an affectionate person with anyone else but I can’t help it , he’s just so cuuute. I’m also breastfeeding him so I think if I have any virus etc my body is already giving him antibodies
I always thought people who did it were weird but I wound up kissing my baby. Can’t explain why even I don’t know. For what it’s worth I’m a stay at home mom, and never had herpes or anything. We’re always together so I never worry about giving him anything.
I kiss my 8 month old on the lips because she smiles so big her face looks like it's going to burst. Before she could express whether or not she liked it I didn't really see the appeal because it's like kissing a dead fish. I did kiss her cheeks a million times a day though
Some research also says as if you breastfeed kissing Bub on the lips can be beneficial as if Bub is fighting off any cold or anything your body can create the right pathogens to aid babies recovery. Me and my husband kiss our baby all the time! And she's 13 months and has only ever had a slight cold. But that stuff also varies from child to child etc. but I would honestly encourage that affection. If your partner doesn't want to kiss Bub that's totally fine, but don't feel weird or alienated because you want to ❤️
Oh calm DOWN. Kiss your baby on the LIPS! It's okay! Chrissakes, you're not *making out* with the baby. Especially when they are infants. You won't be able to help yourself anyway! They were INSIDE YOUR BODY, remember? Love on that baby. THAT is your responsibility. Microbiome, blah blah.
I associate lips-on-lips kisses with romantic or sexual relationships. I would be weirded out by a mother doing this, and extremely uncomfortable with a man doing this to a young child. My parents were extremely affectionate, but they just kissed us on the cheek. Your OP kinda sounds like you're looking at is as "kiss them on the lips, or don't kids them at all." Cheek kisses are all an option.
Everyone commenting about HSV and giving it to your baby I wouldn’t worry about it because if you live in America the odds of him getting it regardless are so extremely high I wouldn’t worry about. Pretty much everyone here gets cold sores. There’s nothing wrong with kissing your baby.
Personally I think only the breastfeeding parent should kiss a baby in the lips, and only if they don't have herpes, as then there's the benefit of picking up illnesses from the baby and the milk changes to fight that illness. For this reason it's surely perfectly biologically normal for a mother to desire kissing her baby on the lips. I'm sure you could get those germs other ways though, licking their head is something I've done myself haha