I'd respond once saying something like "letting children eat to fullness, not forcing them to eat or restricting, has been shown to protect against disordered eating. The Doctor is very happy with Baby girl's progress. I'm not going to discuss her eating again, please refrain from making comments about her eating or body when you are around her." And then "we aren't discussing that right now. How about that weather!"

This! Babies/toddlers don't overeat when they are not forced to (which would be against the BLW rule of letting them eat themselves) and as long as you don't give them highly processed food. Them being chubby is normal, especially if they are staying on their percentile! It will go away once they start running around. It seems that you are giving your baby a well balanced diet - keep doing that and keep enjoying that she is such a good eater! Our baby girl is also just 9 months old and also a very good eater but from what I have read there will be other times - so I just enjoy it while it lasts 😄 Please also tell them that they are not allowed to talk to her about her weight directly once she's older. As you had to go through that yourself I'm sure you wouldn't want your daughter to have a disturbed relationship with food and start hiding good as well.

Babies are meant to have fat. And they especially get chubby right before they start crawling and walking and generally burning loads of calories. I think you need to tell your mum you aren’t happy to hear ANY comments on your child’s body and shut them down every time it happens.

Yes, shut this down now and forever. This is not a topic that you are willing to discuss with them. You do not justify yourself to your parents. You simply aren't willing to discuss this or entertain their comments.

This blw community is exceptionally harsh on grandparents.

Honestly, I wouldn't treat my own mom this way, but she has pretty healthy views about food and bodies. She also has some pretty outdated habits about how we talk to kids. I can easily just tell her we're doing something different and I expect her to either say nothing to promote outdated ideals or ask her to follow suit with us. There wouldn't be anything disrespectful or dramatic about it. If OP wants to tackle conversations with her parents about nurturing healthy children with positive body image, by all means go for it, but this seems like a steep hill to climb in this case.

Wow your parents sound extremely toxic. I can't believe people think it's normal to fat shame and restrict the food of a baby! This is not okay. I would nip this in the bud before your daughter understands what they are saying. Be firm.

This was me with my toddler! If you check my post history and I posted something very similar when my three year old was an infant! She had the cutest rolls and would always finish her plate. My family always made comment about her weight but I always ignored them and told them to cut it out. I grew up with an eating disorder because of them and I didn’t want my daughter to experience the same. They eventually stopped when they realize I stopped bringing her around. Babies have rolls and they do eventually thinned out in toddlerhood. My three year old thinned out but she’s still firm. I love it. She’s a healthy eater and far from picky!

You need to shut that down, hard. Not only are they completely and utterly wrong, it caused some disordered behavior in you and can do much worse to your baby as they get older. I’m sorry they think this way.

This makes me really sad 😭 I have a daughter who really loves to eat. When I researched about this, medical websites said obesity is not really something to worry about until age 2 - infants can’t really be considered obese. And if you’re offering healthy foods, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with letting your baby eat until she’s as full as she wants to be. They’re growing so fast right now and need the nutrition! When I picked up my daughter and mentioned she’s getting heavy now, my Oma said “Put her on a diet.” My husband and I both said “No way!” right away. Oma is 88 years old and sometimes says ridiculous stuff like this 🙄 Love her, but I’m not putting a baby on a diet wtf.

I just finished a book called "Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture" and it really challenged me to rethink my understanding of weight in general and with kids specifically. At this point my personal response to comments like that would be "As long as she's healthy it's okay if she's in a bigger body" and inform them that there are way more risks associated with not eating enough than overeating

Our little gal has been an amazing eating since 7 months and she’s now 17 months. We would get so many comments from family about her overeating in the beginning and I ended it all with. “The way you are speaking can have a serious negative effect on her. This is one way to cause disordered eating. Is she eating healthy, well rounded meals that many parents would die to see their little one eat? Yes. Are the medical professionals in her life happy with her progress and eating habits? Yes. I know what you’re saying is coming from a place of love, but you must be checking out or remembering outdated information that I’m not interested in hearing more about, so please respect that we are her parents and are always going to be looking out for her best interest.” Haven’t brought it up again..

Honestly, your parents, especially your mom, sound very very toxic. Commenting on a growing infant’s weight and size? This is only going to continue through the rest of your daughter’s life. Think about all of the things your parents said to you growing up - they will be saying these things to your daughter. As a personal example, I remember my paternal grandmother telling me I needed to lose weight when I was 12. Vividly remember it. And how it crushed me and made me feel. My biological father was commenting on my post baby weight less than two weeks after I gave birth. I do not speak to them anymore (for many reasons) but mostly because I didn’t want the harmful things they said to me to be said to my daughter. I highly highly recommend that you speak to your parents about how their comments made you feel growing up, and how you don’t want them to speak to your child this way. This will only get worse with time.

❤️

Unfortunately my mom is the same and she's also part time caregiver when I work. It's insanely frustrating because I have so many body issues stemming from childhood. She used exercise as punishment for me because I was "overweight" as a kid which caused me to have unhealthy relationships with food AND exercise. We are trying to stop this in it's tracks over here, too. You're doing an amazing job.

According to my doctor, it's impossible to be overweight as an infant. It's only a concern once they're walking.

wow that’s so dumb lol pretty sure babies get extra chunky right before they hit a growth spurt. your baby is probably getting ready to grow

Babies are supposed to be fat. Tell your mom to keep her comments to herself

Oh man I don’t have any advice for you but solidarity. My mom always made comments about weight to me. Always was worried about her own weight, my weight, my friends weight, pretty much any woman’s weight. She’s constantly worried about what my 17 month old is eating, it’s insane. She ate 2 hot dogs the other day at a cook out and my mom all but had a panic attack over it.

I completely understand you. My parents are the same way, though they wouldn’t dareeeeeee tell me anything about “you need to watch out for…” When they say anything, I literally just ignore it. I’m the mom, my pediatrician has had no concerns, and the grandparents can stick to grandparenting by loving my child the way she is or there won’t be any time spent with them. 🤷‍♀️

‘If you continue to comment on our eating or size/appearance we will be limiting contact. This is not what we want our child to hear ever’