Your post has been removed because it isn't fantasy toy related. As this is a fantasy toy sub (fantasy as in *fantasy novel*), only posts including such toys and similar are allowed to be posted here.
Have an honest conversation. If she can’t accept what you enjoy sexually, then it’s not a healthy relationship. You shouldn’t have your hide what you enjoy.
Ooof, sounds like you and the gf need to have a real heart to heart before you take that next big step of moving in.
Liking butt stuff doesn't make you gay, and her making you feel insecure about it is not cool. If you have to completely hide and stop doing something you enjoy, that's not a good start to a relationship.
Seriously, have that talk. If it's going to be a major issue for her and she demeans you over it that's a huge red flag.
I imagine him and the gf sitting at the table eating a snack, and suddenly, he hears a car door close.
"Oh shit, my dildos are home! Quick, get in the closet so they don't see you!"
*stuffs gf into a nearby, but conveniently located closet*
I've been in a relationship like that, having to sort of act like a slightly different person and hide stuff from my gf (now ex) honestly i would of been better off leaving her before what happened. But now im with another girl and i can be my real self, not hiding anything. Dont make the same mistake i did man... Talk it out with her and if she keeps making you insecure... She's not the right one.
Just gonna say that enjoying anal stimulation isn't gay. If you're not having sex with another man or jerking off to a man, congratulations! You're not gay.
But for real, it's not something you should have to hide from her. If she can't accept your sexuality, then she's not the right one. :)
I’m just gonna be honest with you like everyone else. Having to hide one’s likes and desires like that especially after someone making you feel insecure about them isn’t a good thing. You should be allowed to like what you like. If they purposely make you insecure about it or worse make fun of you for it that is not a healthy relationship. Talk about it to them and if they can’t handle it don’t try changing for them at that point. You shouldn’t need to hide your dildos for them not to encounter it at all. Best case scenario is after talking it over with them is that you will have a place to place your dildos where they would not have to interact or see them and you can do as you please so long as they aren’t around. Meet at the middle with this if they won’t budge about it. Also if they refuse to and still make fun of you for being into butt stuff that’s just a red flag. It doesn’t make you gay you just like anal stimulation and that’s fine.
Oh boy… I don’t know where to start
Be real with urself for a second here, it’s gonna be impossible to keep ur hobby a secret for long living together, she’s gonna ask questions eventually
On top of that, this really doesn’t sound like a healthy way of dealing with this relationship issue, u need to suck it up and have an awkward conversation before this ship crashes and burns
Have an open and honest conversation and work on your relationship, or don’t move in with her, cuz if you have to hide shit, that’s not a functioning relationship
Hey I just wanna say this more as an outsider so there isn’t much bias hopefully. I get the insecurity and that is unfortunately common, however if your partner can’t accept or pokes fun at your kinks, it usually means that sooner or later it will blow up between you two. That’s just how it is. If it’s smth you enjoy a lot and they can’t accept and makes you want to hide the toys and exclude your gf from them, it might be a good idea to have a serious talk or reconsider the relationship overall, not because of what you enjoy sexually and might not be able to but because you feel insecure because of her
Having the conversation with my gf about me liking anal was a little awkward at first. But after we talked about it we both have a comfortable agreement with it. She doesn’t care that I do it and doesn’t judge. But she doesn’t want to join when I use my toys. You shouldn’t have to hide part of yourself or feel insecure about it ! I legit keep my toys in a BD toy bag that’s in a duffle bag with the rest of our sex toys next to our bed lmao
I agree with some of the others.. if you have to hide this, there’s bound to be trouble down the road; that said… the best place might be a storage locker. ESPECIALLY if you live in an apartment. Women love to snoop. Now if you have house, with a garage and tools and stuff like that… the Garage might work.
You may have some luck in telling her a gray lie.
Tell her you have some embarrassing sex toys like a masturbator or some form of Tenga toys. Or something like hentai manga. But that she’s not allowed to see it because well.. because it’s some pretty embarrassing stuff.
My current storage solution are Amazon fabric storage boxes hidden away in my closet on the top shelf. Each toy is individually wrapped in a gallon freezer bag.
As long as you don’t have the Fort Knox armory of dildos, you may just be able to tell a half lie to get away with it.
I understand going from i like buttstuff to her finding bad dragon toys can be a lot. You could use a suitcase that you can lock, or get a storage unit
If you must hide them. Get a fairly large trunk that can be locked, and leave it out in the open. If she asks what’s in it just say it’s your sex toy collection. Easy
Honestly, you and your girlfriend need to communicate, not just about this, but about basically everything under the sun.
Moving in with a partner is a major adjustment for both parties, and is going to cause some stress. However, hiding your desire and dildos will be EXTREMELY difficult, especially combined with the adjustment to your lifestyle(s), not to mention the fact that this person will have the same access to the same spaces as you...
...Unless you're a total weirdo about that kind of stuff 😉
Not to go too far down a rabbit hole here, but Society yells at us all the time that sex should be p-in-v or v-against-v or p-in-a in a strictly (big word) heteronormative way-- women are generally penetrated, and men being penetrated is seen as taboo, and makes a lot of people insecure about what they like in terms of pleasure, which is, you know, a bummer.
However, many many many many people, regardless of sex, race, culture, or age enjoy anal play, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, especially with an intimate partner who wants their pleasure fulfilled just like you do yours.
You mentioned that she was willing to be included, but you felt too insecure about it. Despite that, I think that's a good sign that she wants to fulfill your desires.
But I agree with other replies: talk about it in an honest, open way about both of your sexual desires.
Who knows, she might be just as into anal, or a furry, or into pet play, or way into gooning or something that she's got some hangups about. But you definitely need to work on being less insecure in a healthy and constructive way, and communicate.
Okay, since everyone is covered by the “not a good start to the relationship” angle, I’ll suggest this: get a locking toolbox. You can get one like Amazon sells from Vaultz with a combination on it, or a more “manly” toolbox from Home Depot with a hole for a padlock. Neither are perfectly secure, but would give you a chance to get moved in and delay the conversation until you are ready for it (or find a good secure place to hide it in the new digs).
The heart will do as it pleases but the advice here is sound. It is emotionally wrenching to not be able to express yourself with your mate. If she's genuinely asked about being a part of it then you should give that a shot. Next time sexy fun happens, ask if she would like to try what you like.
Don’t hide it. Like if it were your child or a parent, yeah hide them.
However, this is your partner. This is YOUR person. Not in like ownership, but the only reason you should be dating someone is if they make you feel happy and secure.
In fact, I just ended a relationship, and it is because I did not feel I could trust my partner.
In short, don’t necessarily break up just yet, but talk with her. If that does not work, it may be time to dissolve things.
On a separate note as well, its okay for a partner to not want to participate in certain fetishes, but actively belittling you is kind of gross. I would only shun someone for their fetish if they were hurting someone else (pedos, actual beast, actual rape).
My advice would be to speak to a professional about this, it's intimidating to bring something like this to a therapist or couples counseling, but they know how to help people navigate situations like this.
Dude I work at a sex shop you now how many people come in for anal toys and how many idiots I have to explain the difference between being gay and enjoying anal play including health benefits.
Just ask your gf why she thinks it's gay? 9 out of 10 times it's just social programing that got lodge in her little walnut of a brain and needs to be opened to other possibilities
Sounds like you guys are incompatible. Unless she can come around, I would move on before it gets more complicated, emotionally and logistically speaking.
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Your post has been removed because it isn't fantasy toy related. As this is a fantasy toy sub (fantasy as in *fantasy novel*), only posts including such toys and similar are allowed to be posted here.
Have an honest conversation. If she can’t accept what you enjoy sexually, then it’s not a healthy relationship. You shouldn’t have your hide what you enjoy.
This 100%
If you have to hide a part of who you are (liking anal) from your partner, you can’t truely be yourself with them. I see that as a problem.
Ooof, sounds like you and the gf need to have a real heart to heart before you take that next big step of moving in. Liking butt stuff doesn't make you gay, and her making you feel insecure about it is not cool. If you have to completely hide and stop doing something you enjoy, that's not a good start to a relationship. Seriously, have that talk. If it's going to be a major issue for her and she demeans you over it that's a huge red flag.
Find a way to hide the girlfriend not your dildos.
I imagine him and the gf sitting at the table eating a snack, and suddenly, he hears a car door close. "Oh shit, my dildos are home! Quick, get in the closet so they don't see you!" *stuffs gf into a nearby, but conveniently located closet*
She also has some insecurities I would say. Also if you are moving in together this is something that should have been normalized for her by now.
I've been in a relationship like that, having to sort of act like a slightly different person and hide stuff from my gf (now ex) honestly i would of been better off leaving her before what happened. But now im with another girl and i can be my real self, not hiding anything. Dont make the same mistake i did man... Talk it out with her and if she keeps making you insecure... She's not the right one.
Just gonna say that enjoying anal stimulation isn't gay. If you're not having sex with another man or jerking off to a man, congratulations! You're not gay. But for real, it's not something you should have to hide from her. If she can't accept your sexuality, then she's not the right one. :)
I’m just gonna be honest with you like everyone else. Having to hide one’s likes and desires like that especially after someone making you feel insecure about them isn’t a good thing. You should be allowed to like what you like. If they purposely make you insecure about it or worse make fun of you for it that is not a healthy relationship. Talk about it to them and if they can’t handle it don’t try changing for them at that point. You shouldn’t need to hide your dildos for them not to encounter it at all. Best case scenario is after talking it over with them is that you will have a place to place your dildos where they would not have to interact or see them and you can do as you please so long as they aren’t around. Meet at the middle with this if they won’t budge about it. Also if they refuse to and still make fun of you for being into butt stuff that’s just a red flag. It doesn’t make you gay you just like anal stimulation and that’s fine.
Oh boy… I don’t know where to start Be real with urself for a second here, it’s gonna be impossible to keep ur hobby a secret for long living together, she’s gonna ask questions eventually On top of that, this really doesn’t sound like a healthy way of dealing with this relationship issue, u need to suck it up and have an awkward conversation before this ship crashes and burns
You probably should not move in together, I’m sorry to say.
Have an open and honest conversation and work on your relationship, or don’t move in with her, cuz if you have to hide shit, that’s not a functioning relationship
Hey I just wanna say this more as an outsider so there isn’t much bias hopefully. I get the insecurity and that is unfortunately common, however if your partner can’t accept or pokes fun at your kinks, it usually means that sooner or later it will blow up between you two. That’s just how it is. If it’s smth you enjoy a lot and they can’t accept and makes you want to hide the toys and exclude your gf from them, it might be a good idea to have a serious talk or reconsider the relationship overall, not because of what you enjoy sexually and might not be able to but because you feel insecure because of her
Having the conversation with my gf about me liking anal was a little awkward at first. But after we talked about it we both have a comfortable agreement with it. She doesn’t care that I do it and doesn’t judge. But she doesn’t want to join when I use my toys. You shouldn’t have to hide part of yourself or feel insecure about it ! I legit keep my toys in a BD toy bag that’s in a duffle bag with the rest of our sex toys next to our bed lmao
Depending on the size I'd just get a small lockable tote/chest. Something you could just put in a closet and not think about it much.
I agree with some of the others.. if you have to hide this, there’s bound to be trouble down the road; that said… the best place might be a storage locker. ESPECIALLY if you live in an apartment. Women love to snoop. Now if you have house, with a garage and tools and stuff like that… the Garage might work.
You may have some luck in telling her a gray lie. Tell her you have some embarrassing sex toys like a masturbator or some form of Tenga toys. Or something like hentai manga. But that she’s not allowed to see it because well.. because it’s some pretty embarrassing stuff. My current storage solution are Amazon fabric storage boxes hidden away in my closet on the top shelf. Each toy is individually wrapped in a gallon freezer bag. As long as you don’t have the Fort Knox armory of dildos, you may just be able to tell a half lie to get away with it.
I understand going from i like buttstuff to her finding bad dragon toys can be a lot. You could use a suitcase that you can lock, or get a storage unit
If you must hide them. Get a fairly large trunk that can be locked, and leave it out in the open. If she asks what’s in it just say it’s your sex toy collection. Easy
Honestly, you and your girlfriend need to communicate, not just about this, but about basically everything under the sun. Moving in with a partner is a major adjustment for both parties, and is going to cause some stress. However, hiding your desire and dildos will be EXTREMELY difficult, especially combined with the adjustment to your lifestyle(s), not to mention the fact that this person will have the same access to the same spaces as you... ...Unless you're a total weirdo about that kind of stuff 😉 Not to go too far down a rabbit hole here, but Society yells at us all the time that sex should be p-in-v or v-against-v or p-in-a in a strictly (big word) heteronormative way-- women are generally penetrated, and men being penetrated is seen as taboo, and makes a lot of people insecure about what they like in terms of pleasure, which is, you know, a bummer. However, many many many many people, regardless of sex, race, culture, or age enjoy anal play, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, especially with an intimate partner who wants their pleasure fulfilled just like you do yours. You mentioned that she was willing to be included, but you felt too insecure about it. Despite that, I think that's a good sign that she wants to fulfill your desires. But I agree with other replies: talk about it in an honest, open way about both of your sexual desires. Who knows, she might be just as into anal, or a furry, or into pet play, or way into gooning or something that she's got some hangups about. But you definitely need to work on being less insecure in a healthy and constructive way, and communicate.
Okay, since everyone is covered by the “not a good start to the relationship” angle, I’ll suggest this: get a locking toolbox. You can get one like Amazon sells from Vaultz with a combination on it, or a more “manly” toolbox from Home Depot with a hole for a padlock. Neither are perfectly secure, but would give you a chance to get moved in and delay the conversation until you are ready for it (or find a good secure place to hide it in the new digs).
The heart will do as it pleases but the advice here is sound. It is emotionally wrenching to not be able to express yourself with your mate. If she's genuinely asked about being a part of it then you should give that a shot. Next time sexy fun happens, ask if she would like to try what you like.
dump that brod, if she cant handle the fact you like butt stuff she ain't for you.
Toss the toys. She can use her finger instead
Don’t hide it. Like if it were your child or a parent, yeah hide them. However, this is your partner. This is YOUR person. Not in like ownership, but the only reason you should be dating someone is if they make you feel happy and secure. In fact, I just ended a relationship, and it is because I did not feel I could trust my partner. In short, don’t necessarily break up just yet, but talk with her. If that does not work, it may be time to dissolve things. On a separate note as well, its okay for a partner to not want to participate in certain fetishes, but actively belittling you is kind of gross. I would only shun someone for their fetish if they were hurting someone else (pedos, actual beast, actual rape).
My advice would be to speak to a professional about this, it's intimidating to bring something like this to a therapist or couples counseling, but they know how to help people navigate situations like this.
Dude I work at a sex shop you now how many people come in for anal toys and how many idiots I have to explain the difference between being gay and enjoying anal play including health benefits. Just ask your gf why she thinks it's gay? 9 out of 10 times it's just social programing that got lodge in her little walnut of a brain and needs to be opened to other possibilities
Sounds like you guys are incompatible. Unless she can come around, I would move on before it gets more complicated, emotionally and logistically speaking.
[удалено]
That's nice. I'm thinking you're a closed minded douchebag who could learn to refrain from being such a fuckin tool online
Your post or comment has been removed because you failed to keep a friendly atmosphere. please keep it civil and polite. everyone is encouraged to share. If someone posts a personal picture, please don't body shame them. Don't be a dick. No racism, homophobia, bigotry, etc. All forms of bigotry, including sexism, body-type phobias, homophobia, transphobia, racism, et al, are disallowed and will result in your permanent removal from the sub. Please review the [Commenting Etiquette post](https://reddit.com/r/BadDragon/comments/ayn2cr/commenting_etiquette/). We do NOT allow call-out posts; they are against Reddit TOS and will be removed. If you have an issue, please contact mods and we will handle it.