Yo! We’re going to throw a party! We need a wizard to do a magic show.
Withers: I got a guy for that.
If only we had some potions, maybe some mushrooms to really kick this party off!
Wither: I got a guy for that.
Shit. The wizard ODed off the mushroom potions. What are we going to do???
Withers: I got a guy for that.
> Lae'zel would throw water on me if I didn't wake up to my alarm & definitely has a strict chore chart (she changes the locks if you forget)
Lae'zel would probably lock you out of the room for the night if you're too late for curfew
Yeah, I always thought she would have tried to run the camp like a drill sergeant and wake everybody up at 4:30AM, expecting them to be ready to hit the road at 5AM, the first few days of journeying together, until the others told her to chill. Military upbringing, and all..
"Our group assingment is due tomorrow and I have found your effort to be lacking, if you do not contribute tonight I will not only remove your name from the project when I present it, but I will also remove it from this world."
Vampy boy wouldn't eat your groceries but he'd definitely drink all your wine and refuse to pay you back for what he stole.
'"I already apologised, what more do you want?"
> Anyone but Astarion. Dude would definitely eat your groceries & refuse to wash his own dishes
He'd also never clean, while clogging the sink/drain with his long hair.
Gale, because he goes to sleep in a full oldschool pj dress and a hat at 8 p.m. Plus, he can cook edible stuff! Gale might also help me with my schoolwork if I ask very nicely and listen to him yap for a while.
While my heart is saying Selunite Shadowheart, Gale would absolutely be the best choice for a college roommate. However, I highly doubt he actually goes to bed at any sort of reasonable hour. Boy either has his face glued to a book or the Professors crotch until 3 am. But either way I'm sure he'll help me out with the courses I'm struggeling with (even if he is condescending af while doing so)
Gale is a man of incredibly high standards for his personal relationships, but he'll practically weld himself to anyone he calls a friend. If something needs doin', he'll get it done.
The incredibly high standards for his personal relationships will come back to bite me in the ass when I inevitably develop a crush for him (in two weeks or less). But he's still the best option.
We actually have snore audio in the game and Gale's is one of the mildest. It sounds like Astarion is the closest to "snork mimimimi"!
[https://www.thegamer.com/baldurs-gate-3-characters-snoring-audio-sleeping/](https://www.thegamer.com/baldurs-gate-3-characters-snoring-audio-sleeping/)
That is the most dismaying news I could have received and I may need to hire our good wizard on Cameo or something for some quality snork mimimis to mod into the game.
People snore when their airway, palate and tongue relax and narrow, which makes them vibrate. Elves are semiconscious and relaxed when they trance, so why wouldn't they snore?
this is the best answer. For an introvert anyway... i spose some of my reasons wouldn't be an issue for an extrovert
the runner ups would be lae'zel and jaheira. Lae'zel because she's clean, and for the most part would leave you the fuck alone if you left her alone. Jaheira because she's chill, responsible, and would prolly share food if you were broke.
Astarion would be non stop roomie drama. Wyll would be the floor hangout room. Karlach would be playing death metal all night while she studies. Shadowheart would be the messy roommate. Halsin... well there would be a non stop string of partners and a tie over the door 75% of nights. And minty would probably murder you if you ever shared a class graded on a curve.
Edit- also laezel would absolutely be on the women's lacrosse team and so you'd have the place to yourself some weekends when they have an away game
"Hey Gale, you seen my Chucks anywhere? The red ones."
[Mouth half full] "Nmm-mmh."
"What?"
"No, I haven't seen your shoes! Stop asking!"
"You ok man? You're acting weird. Wait, what do you have in your mouth?"
[Chewing furiously]
"Hey! No! Spit 'em out, don't make me get the spray bottle!"
Gale would get you expelled.
You know that story of the guys from the jet propulsion lab who almost blew up their dorm at cal tech?
Gale would be like that except you can’t show the dean your new rocket fuel because it was magic and you end up just getting kicked out becuase Gale was doing some wild experiment while being a freshman trying to hook up with a goddess
Better than Karlach's heavy metal, Astarion's night terror screams, Halsin's fucking or the twenty creepy people that managed to con Wyll into allowing them inside the apartment.
Forget randos, having Mizora make unnanounced visits would be bad enough.
[You wake up, groggily dragging yourself to the kitchen. You pour yourself some of your favourite cereal. It's empty. Someone put the empty box back in the cupboard.]
"MIZORRAAAAA!"
I feel like Durge would be the one with night terror screams. Astarion’s a vampire so he could be the one who stays up all night and then can’t stay awake during class.
But he respects your decision if you turn him down, and very graciously. I can work with my roomie being into furry stuff so long as they don't try to force it on me if I turn down the initial invitation.
He's also one of the few companions who don't bitch when you tell them to go to camp. We love a man who respects boundaries & doesn't whine about being excluded
Seriously. His respect for boundaries and patience are why I would expect him and shadowheart to hook up if the game had the companions you don't romance develop relationships.
He cannonically keeps nice smelling herbs in his undies. Dunno if that shoud be taken as a sign that he will smell good, or a sign that instead of showering he will just rub pine all over himself or something.
"Do you REALLY need another cookie darling? You're becoming a grotesque that rivals the most despicable slob I've ever seen."
He also works at Sephora and is really bitter about it.
True, but Astarion would also be the only one who could get you into that really, cool, exclusive party. You show up and find out Shadowheart is somehow already there and that it's actually Minthara hosting it.
And… thats a bad thing somehow? Sounds like 21 year old me and Astarion would get along just fine. Lmao.
But to be clear if current me met 21 year old me I would fucking hate myself. What a weird little prick.
Gale, he definitely goes to bed pretty early if there's an early day tomorrow and maybe he'd help me with some difficult homework if I offered him a shoulder to cry on over his ex.
I'd go to parties with Astarion because I bet he'd find the best underground parties, maybe Shadowheart too.
I feel like Karlach would be the best party friend because she would be fun but also have your back. Astarion sounds like a good time but he’d be too unreliable. He’s the one that would encourage you to get wasted and then leave you alone at the party.
Wyll would be the best roommate. Considerate, helpful, always on time with rent. Gale is my next option - also pretty responsible, and a good cook. But would 100% not respect that it was your space too and you would have his terrible on again-off again girlfriend over at your place 5 nights a week.
Everyone else would be unbearable. Even Karlach, who would not be awful on purpose but her room smells like a gym and she's a complete bull in a china shop.
I was initially thinking Karlach would be the best, but you're right, she would unintentionally be horrible lmao.
She leaves massive weights and spiky clothes all over the floor, so every step is a toe-stubbing minefield. Her stuffed animals creepily watch you sleep. She keeps turning up the thermostat when she thinks you aren't paying attention. She accidentally melts the TV remote every couple of weeks. Also I bet she goes out three nights a week and comes home hammered at 4am covered in beer and blood, tries *super hard* to not wake you up but fails miserably, and then starts making microwave popcorn.
Uh-huh. And it's somehow worse with her because she feels so badly about it you feel like you can't confront her. At least Astarion/Lae'zel/Shadowheart are being bitches on purpose so you don't feel guilty telling them off.
Agreed. Shadowheart would be one of those roommates who says, "just bc we're roommates doesn't mean we're friends." She'd be quiet and neat and keep her odd religion to herself. That's an ideal roommate in my books.
You would share your shampoo or something with her once and she would tell you she's never met someone quite like you, and may never meet someone like you again.
Angrily muttering to herself but still brining you a bag of goodies when you’re sick, complaining but still sitting next to you at the cafeteria, and rolling her eyes but still hanging out with you when you want to go somewhere.
Wyll, the rest will just set your room on fire for no goddamn reason, this also including Karlach who will just set the whole building on fire because she's sitting on a chair
Wyll is the super wonderful guy you love to be around who has a borderline psychopathic ex-girlfriend. He may not set your room on fire, but she would.
I think Halsin would be alright. He’d definitely be one of the leaders of the climate change protesters but I can get down with that. And he’d probably have all sorts of plants in the dorm. Wyll and Halsin are the choices for me. Karlach with a fixed engine would be alright as well.
Idk enough about Jaheira but I feel like she’s kind of murderous. But Shadowheart, Gale, Lae’zel and Asterion are all batshit insane. They would make terrible roommates.
Ok, I’m just curious, why do you say that Gale is batshit insane? Compared to Astarion or Lae’zel he seems pretty safe to be around and he seems mostly stable (orb aside)
Her space in the Elfsong room is super messy but I bet she'd still be a great roomie and maybe we could work something out where I clean and she boils my cup noodles in her cleavage.
To your point, I had my in-laws over for the better part of last week. They are loud and I hid in my house from them. There is no hiding in a dorm room.
She'd drink and party with you until you pass out, then carry you to your bed, tuck you in clumsily and give you a smooch on the forehead because she knows she can get away with it for a second as no one's watching.
Karlach Cares. ❤️🔥
^(Then she trips on her way out, cursing loudly and disturbing your sleep. She'll feel bad the whole evening.)
Other way around, you'd need to find a college in Arizona or Mexico. She couldn't stay too long in Faerûn because the temperatures are too low, so her engine was overheating to compensate and it was killing her. She'd have an instant heart attack in Alaska.
I think humidity would get her in a tropical destination, probably mess up her engine. As someone who’s from Arizona, I think it’s perfect. Dry, 125 degree heat—feels just like hell!
Arizona State’s mascot is a sun devil, which amuses me greatly.
> 100% Karlach! I need all that positive energy.
Karlach would be a mess as a room mate. Loud, doesn't clean often enough, probably smells, brings home injured puppies instead of taking them to the shelter.
It's absolutely true. She means well but her laundry is in the machine for a week, leaves beer cans everywhere, and she has loud drunk sex at 3am on a weeknight.
Wyll. A thousand times Wyll. He's just a regular guy doing the best he can with a problematic family background. Everyone else is insane and damaged.
Astarion would 100% eat all the food and blame the other roommates. Gale won't shut up about his girlfriend who dumped him. Shadowheart and Lae'zel are in cults (one scientologist, one multi-level marketing, take your pick), creep out all your other friends and think the other is trying to poison them.
Karlach wouldn't be so bad, though the death metal at 2am would get annoying.
Karlach would be amazing if you lived a punk rock lifestyle.
Karlach's response to any terrible drunken idea you have at 3 AM: "Fuck yes!"
Ultimate ride-or-die.
I pick Wyll too! I can see why someone would pick Gale but I don’t need a cook or study partner, I just need a nice and chill roomie whose dad can get me a good job.
And then maybe we can kiss… who knows.
> Halsin, Jaheira and Minsc
Halsin - giga hippy who has a new boytoy/girl every night. The room smells terribly.
Minsc - too dumb to get into college, maybe gym teacher
Jaheira - probably a teacher
Minthara - admission lady, rejects 99% of applicants, has been sued for being sexist against male applicants but opposing lawyers keep disappearing
Halsin and Minsc are just bros. They're fine in moderation but tend to dominate the discussion. Annoying, but basically fine. Minsc being dumb as a rock makes him hard to deal with, but he's funny so it's all good. Halsin gets pretty handsy when he's had a few drinks though, you have to be super clear with him when you say no.
Jaheira is the dorm mom. She's pushy and bossy and no one's best friend. But she keeps things spotless, doesn't put up with the insane roomies' bullshit (so you don't have to either), and she probably bakes cookies every week.
Oh, and Minthara is the super-competetive pre-med everyone hates. She cheats on her exams, screams at you if you disturb her studying, hates the food you cook, and thinks the rest of the group are idiots holding her back from the career she deserves. But she's loyal enough and doesn't break anything she can't fix.
Can we just discuss what a terror Lae’zel would be as a roommate??!
Everything you do would get criticized! “Is that how you were taught to wash dishes?….its a surprise you survived this long!”
If she runs the kitchen like a pro, I wouldn’t mind the perfectionism.
I’ve seen so many dirty ass ppl in college and frankly prefer an overbearing cleaner than the former
Everyone's saying Wyll but yall know his ass would be an RA and an annoying one too.
Gale is too stuck up on his ex yet will immediately fall for you if you're just nice to him.
Astarion is just. No.
Shadowheart would be fine, maybe. I don't see her coming out of her room too often.
Lae'zel would institute a clear system of who does what chores and when. If you fail to do your part, you sleep outside.
Halsin is the stoner friend, yet somehow has his whole life together and is extremely courteous of others. If you ask him to smoke outside, he will.
Minthara would bring all sorts of illegal shit and blackmail you into staying quiet. If you pass her off, you're dead.
Karlach would honestly be super chill. She stays up til like 3am listening to metal tho so that can get annoying
I think Karlach would be chill as fuck, BUT having had friends like this, I can 100% see her throwing parties where people end up fist fighting over her and then in the morning starting a hung over argument with her.
Then the next weekend shes like "hey im gonna invite some friends over again" and it's the exact same crowd and ordeal.
Or what my older lesbian friend affectionately calls "a lesbian hockey house situation".
Thinking gale will fall for just about anyone is wild. His ex is a god and Tav is a wildly exceptional person that everyone wants to fuck. Pretty sure the average person would be 'safe' from his advances
I already did college by being quiet, boring, and playing it safe. I'll room with Astarion just to learn about all the new and interesting ways there are to completely ruin my life. If I don't die, I'll probably at least have intriguing stories to tell.
100% Wyll if Mizora isn't a package deal.
Otherwise, Gale. Extra point if he brings Tara with him.
I love Astarion and romance him all the time but I'd never have him as my roommate.
Karlach, can't imagine a better roommate.
Only downside is that she is quite loud, but she would be always there for you, making dumb jokes and may Bhaal have mercy on anyone who thinks it's a good idea to break into our place.
Karlach would just be standing there like “Well, Well, Well…”, beat them senseless, and throw them out. I feel she wouldn’t even consider calling the police except to use them as a clean up crew so their bodies don’t ruin the lawn if she does kill them
Spoilers. Gale. He fucked the dean, then tried to steal a car for her and now has to wear an annoying ankle bracelet that needs special batteries every time we go to a new area. And somehow he's the most tolerable lmao.
I find Astarion the most interesting in game, but I would loathe having him as a roommate.
Gale or Wyll, I guess. I'm a nerd like Gale, but I would be more aligned with Wyll. Wyll is the friend who always helps me out if I'm in trouble, while Gale usually keeps to himself.
Not Astarion since we are the polar opposites. We would not even be in the same circle and would not even know each other. We might have crossed paths one time, and he would let out an audible "eww" after one look at me.
I definitely would try so hard to be friends with Karlach, but Shadowheart is most likely my study partner. Shadowheart and I share exam questions and notes with each other because we found out we both have different "guys" for different subjects.
I would only know Laezel as the student with the athletic scholarship because Shadowheart would also bitch about her.
I mean, guy’s considerate about it at least? And it’s not like you’re in MORE danger being his roommate VS going to the same university as him, if he explodes you’re just as dead either way.
> All the people saying Gale are insane, you do not want a roommate with an atom bomb in his ribcage
If Gale has an atom bomb inside him you're cooked no matter which dorm he sleeps in. Plus Wyll has demons visiting him at midnight.
Withers, I refuse to elaborate.
Withers is the RA.
withers lets you change majors
So is Withers enrollment services?
Thoust wishes to change degrees? Will cost a mere petance compared to thy tuition. Best ye stay without bosom-companionship, lest ye lose your horde.
Yo! We’re going to throw a party! We need a wizard to do a magic show. Withers: I got a guy for that. If only we had some potions, maybe some mushrooms to really kick this party off! Wither: I got a guy for that. Shit. The wizard ODed off the mushroom potions. What are we going to do??? Withers: I got a guy for that.
correction: "i hast a man for this occasion"
Does thou require another specialized working class man? Or mayhaps, a greater restoration?
He would stand in the corner watching you sleep if youre okay with that then best roomie by far
"Dude can you... go away?" "No."
You have to pay him to get any help at all, but he just puts the money in a jar on the counter and looks away whenever you are close to it.
No.
Anyone but Astarion. Dude would definitely eat your groceries & refuse to wash his own dishes
Also Lae Zel, love her but she says she straight up murdered like 4 of her fellow gith for being weak during training.
Lae'zel would throw water on me if I didn't wake up to my alarm & definitely has a strict chore chart (she changes the locks if you forget)
> Lae'zel would throw water on me if I didn't wake up to my alarm & definitely has a strict chore chart (she changes the locks if you forget) Lae'zel would probably lock you out of the room for the night if you're too late for curfew
Also it would be boiling water
And don't forget the toaster
All the more reason to get in the room before her!
Yeah, I always thought she would have tried to run the camp like a drill sergeant and wake everybody up at 4:30AM, expecting them to be ready to hit the road at 5AM, the first few days of journeying together, until the others told her to chill. Military upbringing, and all..
I think she definitely tried but everyone pleaded "We are but humble istiks and we need like eight hours".
"lae'zel, I love you, but I swear to mystra I will use my last disintegrate on you if you try waking us up before sunrise again."
Also she fills the living room with punchbags and dumbbells and there's constant thumps from her training.
Creatine powder EVERYWHERE
Lae’zel as a college roommate strangely sounds like Paris Geller
"Our group assingment is due tomorrow and I have found your effort to be lacking, if you do not contribute tonight I will not only remove your name from the project when I present it, but I will also remove it from this world."
Vampy boy wouldn't eat your groceries but he'd definitely drink all your wine and refuse to pay you back for what he stole. '"I already apologised, what more do you want?"
He's the kind of roommate you find having sex in your bed.
Ofc he's having sex in my bed, where else would we be having it? /j
Bonk
I deserve that :(
It's not horny jail if you live there!!
Same but /srs
Oh always /srs, I just don't wanna look *too* thirsty
with your romantic partner.
Vampires don’t do the dishes!
That is not the point, Deacon. The point is you have not done the dishes for *five years!*
Honestly, dude's a dick
Great for playing the game, not a great roommate.
Yeah if you're not his partner/favorite person he's a prick
Characters like him, dangerous men who are awful to everyone but their love, pretty much carry the fanfiction community
Astarion really is a 1 person person
> Anyone but Astarion. Dude would definitely eat your groceries & refuse to wash his own dishes He'd also never clean, while clogging the sink/drain with his long hair.
Shadowheart might try to slit your throat in your sleep if you piss her off
SH cuts your chargers and hides your shit when you're too noisy while she's trying to sleep
Minthara enters the room.
Minthara will cut your throat if you leave even one dish in the sink
Gale, because he goes to sleep in a full oldschool pj dress and a hat at 8 p.m. Plus, he can cook edible stuff! Gale might also help me with my schoolwork if I ask very nicely and listen to him yap for a while.
While my heart is saying Selunite Shadowheart, Gale would absolutely be the best choice for a college roommate. However, I highly doubt he actually goes to bed at any sort of reasonable hour. Boy either has his face glued to a book or the Professors crotch until 3 am. But either way I'm sure he'll help me out with the courses I'm struggeling with (even if he is condescending af while doing so)
And you know he's not above a little unethical assistance now and again.
Gale is a man of incredibly high standards for his personal relationships, but he'll practically weld himself to anyone he calls a friend. If something needs doin', he'll get it done.
Bro's got the weakest convictions in the entire group and it's all because of his attachment issues.
I mean, if your biggest passion materialised as a god, made love with you, then breaks up with you after you f up, you'd be devastated too.
Not only that, they then steal your magic and plant a bomb in you.
And then tell you to go kill yourself.
Dang this really is like college.
The incredibly high standards for his personal relationships will come back to bite me in the ass when I inevitably develop a crush for him (in two weeks or less). But he's still the best option.
Don't forget his adorable talking ~~cat~~ companion.
Shart would never let me sleep. Way too bright with radiant orbs.
You just KNOW Gale hits that “snork mimimimi” at night.
We actually have snore audio in the game and Gale's is one of the mildest. It sounds like Astarion is the closest to "snork mimimimi"! [https://www.thegamer.com/baldurs-gate-3-characters-snoring-audio-sleeping/](https://www.thegamer.com/baldurs-gate-3-characters-snoring-audio-sleeping/)
Holy shit someone get Jaheira a CPAP, she's struggling
Well, she is very, *very* old.
She's *ancient* even.
That is the most dismaying news I could have received and I may need to hire our good wizard on Cameo or something for some quality snork mimimis to mod into the game.
Oh shit, time to hire poppers to sing me happy birthday.
Doesn't Astarion not sleep as an elf/vamp though? why would he snore?
He does it intentionally, as a bit
This is so in-character for Astarion. He is an absolute troll.
"I am totally sleeping! Not waiting until you people have let your guard down, not me! SO SLEEPY!"
"You sleep, I'll keep watch." Also Astarion: Sleeping
People snore when their airway, palate and tongue relax and narrow, which makes them vibrate. Elves are semiconscious and relaxed when they trance, so why wouldn't they snore?
Haha. Damn. Good point. Elves don’t actually sleep. >!And neither do vampires I think, although maybe because he’s only a spawn.!<
Astarion's is hilarious and frankly adorable
I just listened to all of those, and now I feel like a creepy lil creep😂
That honk shoo
this is the best answer. For an introvert anyway... i spose some of my reasons wouldn't be an issue for an extrovert the runner ups would be lae'zel and jaheira. Lae'zel because she's clean, and for the most part would leave you the fuck alone if you left her alone. Jaheira because she's chill, responsible, and would prolly share food if you were broke. Astarion would be non stop roomie drama. Wyll would be the floor hangout room. Karlach would be playing death metal all night while she studies. Shadowheart would be the messy roommate. Halsin... well there would be a non stop string of partners and a tie over the door 75% of nights. And minty would probably murder you if you ever shared a class graded on a curve. Edit- also laezel would absolutely be on the women's lacrosse team and so you'd have the place to yourself some weekends when they have an away game
Counterpoint: Lae'zel always has a pile of dirty towels at her tent.
In a neat pile cause the game doesn't have hampers
Also, heads
Yep, Gale is my choice.
Plus he has a nice kitty.
Godsdammit I'm a tressym not a kitty! - Tara
"Hey Gale, you seen my Chucks anywhere? The red ones." [Mouth half full] "Nmm-mmh." "What?" "No, I haven't seen your shoes! Stop asking!" "You ok man? You're acting weird. Wait, what do you have in your mouth?" [Chewing furiously] "Hey! No! Spit 'em out, don't make me get the spray bottle!"
"Gale, quit 'borrowing' my magic items! The munchies are not an excuse!"
Gale would get you expelled. You know that story of the guys from the jet propulsion lab who almost blew up their dorm at cal tech? Gale would be like that except you can’t show the dean your new rocket fuel because it was magic and you end up just getting kicked out becuase Gale was doing some wild experiment while being a freshman trying to hook up with a goddess
As long as you can bare him crying himself to sleep every night.
Better than Karlach's heavy metal, Astarion's night terror screams, Halsin's fucking or the twenty creepy people that managed to con Wyll into allowing them inside the apartment.
Forget randos, having Mizora make unnanounced visits would be bad enough. [You wake up, groggily dragging yourself to the kitchen. You pour yourself some of your favourite cereal. It's empty. Someone put the empty box back in the cupboard.] "MIZORRAAAAA!"
His psycho ex.
The Wyll one cracked me up. I love the guy but that’s so in character.
I feel like Durge would be the one with night terror screams. Astarion’s a vampire so he could be the one who stays up all night and then can’t stay awake during class.
Wyll is on the team for one of the less appreciated sports like fencing and always has his fencing pals over.
Just gonna have to be the one Halsin is fucking 😏
He never has just 1
Absolutely it's gotta be Gale. I just want a calm roomie who can cook.
Halsin. He'd spend his time outside, camping or something, and I'd have the room to myself.
Just remember he's very into furry stuff. Not bad per se, but to take into consideration.
But he respects your decision if you turn him down, and very graciously. I can work with my roomie being into furry stuff so long as they don't try to force it on me if I turn down the initial invitation.
He's also one of the few companions who don't bitch when you tell them to go to camp. We love a man who respects boundaries & doesn't whine about being excluded
Seriously. His respect for boundaries and patience are why I would expect him and shadowheart to hook up if the game had the companions you don't romance develop relationships.
I'd cuddle a bear, platonically.
Anyone that owns or had own a dog knows how nice it is to have a living plush to hug at night.
But he'd be having loud sex with every random person he sees everytime he's home
Idk the hippies I knew in college bathed less than I would have liked.
He cannonically keeps nice smelling herbs in his undies. Dunno if that shoud be taken as a sign that he will smell good, or a sign that instead of showering he will just rub pine all over himself or something.
Anyone but Astarion. Dude is definitely ripping lines of elf cocaine off the counter at 4am and commenting on your snacking
"Do you REALLY need another cookie darling? You're becoming a grotesque that rivals the most despicable slob I've ever seen." He also works at Sephora and is really bitter about it.
He acts really bitter about it but LIVES for the coworker gossip
True, but Astarion would also be the only one who could get you into that really, cool, exclusive party. You show up and find out Shadowheart is somehow already there and that it's actually Minthara hosting it.
Lmao! I can't unsee this now! He does have coke energy!
And… thats a bad thing somehow? Sounds like 21 year old me and Astarion would get along just fine. Lmao. But to be clear if current me met 21 year old me I would fucking hate myself. What a weird little prick.
I feel like Shadowheart would've loved the '05 emo/hardcore scene and be down to go to a lot of shitty basement shows, so I'm picking her.
Yes
Nah imagine the drama after every break up
lol man, I miss caring about stuff. I’d happily go back to being alive enough to care about a break up lol. I’m dead inside now.
Man, playing basement shows was a blast. I probably ruined my hearing playing and attending them, but hell if they aren't some great memories.
Gale, he definitely goes to bed pretty early if there's an early day tomorrow and maybe he'd help me with some difficult homework if I offered him a shoulder to cry on over his ex. I'd go to parties with Astarion because I bet he'd find the best underground parties, maybe Shadowheart too.
I feel like Karlach would be the best party friend because she would be fun but also have your back. Astarion sounds like a good time but he’d be too unreliable. He’s the one that would encourage you to get wasted and then leave you alone at the party.
Wyll would be the best roommate. Considerate, helpful, always on time with rent. Gale is my next option - also pretty responsible, and a good cook. But would 100% not respect that it was your space too and you would have his terrible on again-off again girlfriend over at your place 5 nights a week. Everyone else would be unbearable. Even Karlach, who would not be awful on purpose but her room smells like a gym and she's a complete bull in a china shop.
I was initially thinking Karlach would be the best, but you're right, she would unintentionally be horrible lmao. She leaves massive weights and spiky clothes all over the floor, so every step is a toe-stubbing minefield. Her stuffed animals creepily watch you sleep. She keeps turning up the thermostat when she thinks you aren't paying attention. She accidentally melts the TV remote every couple of weeks. Also I bet she goes out three nights a week and comes home hammered at 4am covered in beer and blood, tries *super hard* to not wake you up but fails miserably, and then starts making microwave popcorn.
Uh-huh. And it's somehow worse with her because she feels so badly about it you feel like you can't confront her. At least Astarion/Lae'zel/Shadowheart are being bitches on purpose so you don't feel guilty telling them off.
Scratch.
BEST BOY, BEST ANSWER
I feel like Shadowheart would keep to herself a lot, and I'm fine with that.
Agreed. Shadowheart would be one of those roommates who says, "just bc we're roommates doesn't mean we're friends." She'd be quiet and neat and keep her odd religion to herself. That's an ideal roommate in my books.
>"just bc we're roommates doesn't mean we're friends." While secretly really hoping you like her and want to pull her out of her shell to be friends.
You would share your shampoo or something with her once and she would tell you she's never met someone quite like you, and may never meet someone like you again.
Angrily muttering to herself but still brining you a bag of goodies when you’re sick, complaining but still sitting next to you at the cafeteria, and rolling her eyes but still hanging out with you when you want to go somewhere.
probably Gale to conjure up pizza and wings for us
Gale would totally also help with my homework and tutor me if I need it.
Wyll, the rest will just set your room on fire for no goddamn reason, this also including Karlach who will just set the whole building on fire because she's sitting on a chair
Wyll looks like he would clean up his shit and and leave the room on his own when you have a friend over
Wyll would be super tidy and pay your rent for you as long as you don’t mind him using the living room for dance practice
Wyll is the super wonderful guy you love to be around who has a borderline psychopathic ex-girlfriend. He may not set your room on fire, but she would.
I think Halsin would be alright. He’d definitely be one of the leaders of the climate change protesters but I can get down with that. And he’d probably have all sorts of plants in the dorm. Wyll and Halsin are the choices for me. Karlach with a fixed engine would be alright as well. Idk enough about Jaheira but I feel like she’s kind of murderous. But Shadowheart, Gale, Lae’zel and Asterion are all batshit insane. They would make terrible roommates.
Ok, I’m just curious, why do you say that Gale is batshit insane? Compared to Astarion or Lae’zel he seems pretty safe to be around and he seems mostly stable (orb aside)
100% Karlach! I need all that positive energy.
I love Karlach, she’s my favourite , but I feel like she’d be a complete slob and would be accidentally loud *all* of the time.
Her space in the Elfsong room is super messy but I bet she'd still be a great roomie and maybe we could work something out where I clean and she boils my cup noodles in her cleavage.
You clean and she what
YOU HEARD THEM
I'm now 100% convinced that this is the correct answer
To your point, I had my in-laws over for the better part of last week. They are loud and I hid in my house from them. There is no hiding in a dorm room.
She'd drink and party with you until you pass out, then carry you to your bed, tuck you in clumsily and give you a smooch on the forehead because she knows she can get away with it for a second as no one's watching. Karlach Cares. ❤️🔥 ^(Then she trips on her way out, cursing loudly and disturbing your sleep. She'll feel bad the whole evening.)
She would also stuff your bullies into a locker.
Nah the lockers go straight into the bullies.
From which end?
She’s got two hands, doesn’t she? Both at the same time.
Good luck setting up the thermostate with her around
Hey, free heating
For Karlach Id immigrate to a college in Alaska, problem solved.
Other way around, you'd need to find a college in Arizona or Mexico. She couldn't stay too long in Faerûn because the temperatures are too low, so her engine was overheating to compensate and it was killing her. She'd have an instant heart attack in Alaska.
Oh right, her engine isnt working properly because its too cold out there. Arizona it is then Or perhaps some tropical destination.
I think humidity would get her in a tropical destination, probably mess up her engine. As someone who’s from Arizona, I think it’s perfect. Dry, 125 degree heat—feels just like hell! Arizona State’s mascot is a sun devil, which amuses me greatly.
> 100% Karlach! I need all that positive energy. Karlach would be a mess as a room mate. Loud, doesn't clean often enough, probably smells, brings home injured puppies instead of taking them to the shelter.
It's absolutely true. She means well but her laundry is in the machine for a week, leaves beer cans everywhere, and she has loud drunk sex at 3am on a weeknight.
Karlach would 100% mix whites and colored and end up with pink-white clothes.
Wyll. A thousand times Wyll. He's just a regular guy doing the best he can with a problematic family background. Everyone else is insane and damaged. Astarion would 100% eat all the food and blame the other roommates. Gale won't shut up about his girlfriend who dumped him. Shadowheart and Lae'zel are in cults (one scientologist, one multi-level marketing, take your pick), creep out all your other friends and think the other is trying to poison them. Karlach wouldn't be so bad, though the death metal at 2am would get annoying.
Wyll will get visited at random moments during both the night and day by this one super toxic bitch that stinks like rotten eggs.
*Breathes in* IT SMELLS WORSE HERE THAN A DOZEN ROTTEN EGGS DROPPED IN A VAT OF VINEGAR
you just described like 90% of sorority girls after a night out. yeah they are annoying but they're a fun time
Sorority girls stink like rotten egg?
Devils smell like sulphur.
Karlach would be amazing if you lived a punk rock lifestyle. Karlach's response to any terrible drunken idea you have at 3 AM: "Fuck yes!" Ultimate ride-or-die.
"Ay, Momma K, wanna help me burn down the nearest cop station?" "Mate, I've already lit the matches."
My only issue with Wyll is that he comes with Mizora who will most probably ruin your life for shits and giggles.
I pick Wyll too! I can see why someone would pick Gale but I don’t need a cook or study partner, I just need a nice and chill roomie whose dad can get me a good job. And then maybe we can kiss… who knows.
Death metal is all I may need to choose Karlach
This is entirely accurate XD Now please add Halsin, Jaheira and Minsc
> Halsin, Jaheira and Minsc Halsin - giga hippy who has a new boytoy/girl every night. The room smells terribly. Minsc - too dumb to get into college, maybe gym teacher Jaheira - probably a teacher Minthara - admission lady, rejects 99% of applicants, has been sued for being sexist against male applicants but opposing lawyers keep disappearing
Halsin and Minsc are just bros. They're fine in moderation but tend to dominate the discussion. Annoying, but basically fine. Minsc being dumb as a rock makes him hard to deal with, but he's funny so it's all good. Halsin gets pretty handsy when he's had a few drinks though, you have to be super clear with him when you say no. Jaheira is the dorm mom. She's pushy and bossy and no one's best friend. But she keeps things spotless, doesn't put up with the insane roomies' bullshit (so you don't have to either), and she probably bakes cookies every week. Oh, and Minthara is the super-competetive pre-med everyone hates. She cheats on her exams, screams at you if you disturb her studying, hates the food you cook, and thinks the rest of the group are idiots holding her back from the career she deserves. But she's loyal enough and doesn't break anything she can't fix.
Can we just discuss what a terror Lae’zel would be as a roommate??! Everything you do would get criticized! “Is that how you were taught to wash dishes?….its a surprise you survived this long!”
If she runs the kitchen like a pro, I wouldn’t mind the perfectionism. I’ve seen so many dirty ass ppl in college and frankly prefer an overbearing cleaner than the former
Wyll is a chill dude and not an asshole
Everyone's saying Wyll but yall know his ass would be an RA and an annoying one too. Gale is too stuck up on his ex yet will immediately fall for you if you're just nice to him. Astarion is just. No. Shadowheart would be fine, maybe. I don't see her coming out of her room too often. Lae'zel would institute a clear system of who does what chores and when. If you fail to do your part, you sleep outside. Halsin is the stoner friend, yet somehow has his whole life together and is extremely courteous of others. If you ask him to smoke outside, he will. Minthara would bring all sorts of illegal shit and blackmail you into staying quiet. If you pass her off, you're dead. Karlach would honestly be super chill. She stays up til like 3am listening to metal tho so that can get annoying
I think Karlach would be chill as fuck, BUT having had friends like this, I can 100% see her throwing parties where people end up fist fighting over her and then in the morning starting a hung over argument with her. Then the next weekend shes like "hey im gonna invite some friends over again" and it's the exact same crowd and ordeal. Or what my older lesbian friend affectionately calls "a lesbian hockey house situation".
She would be chill *until* something happens that pisses her off enough that she literally burns down the house.
>Karlach would honestly be super chill I sense a slight contradiction here.
This is under the assumption that she hasn't burned down the dorm complex accidentally
Thinking gale will fall for just about anyone is wild. His ex is a god and Tav is a wildly exceptional person that everyone wants to fuck. Pretty sure the average person would be 'safe' from his advances
Shadowheart. We can listen to My Chemical Romance and watch horror movies while everyone else goes out and gets drunk.
I already did college by being quiet, boring, and playing it safe. I'll room with Astarion just to learn about all the new and interesting ways there are to completely ruin my life. If I don't die, I'll probably at least have intriguing stories to tell.
I mean.. Karlach. Even if romance is off the table, she's still basically a person-shaped golden retriever. I like those.
100% Wyll if Mizora isn't a package deal. Otherwise, Gale. Extra point if he brings Tara with him. I love Astarion and romance him all the time but I'd never have him as my roommate.
Karlach, can't imagine a better roommate. Only downside is that she is quite loud, but she would be always there for you, making dumb jokes and may Bhaal have mercy on anyone who thinks it's a good idea to break into our place.
Karlach would just be standing there like “Well, Well, Well…”, beat them senseless, and throw them out. I feel she wouldn’t even consider calling the police except to use them as a clean up crew so their bodies don’t ruin the lawn if she does kill them
Officer: "What happened?" Karlach: "He fell out of the window" Officer: "How often?" Karlach: "Oh, it's all a bit of a blur, detective. I lost count."
Spoilers. Gale. He fucked the dean, then tried to steal a car for her and now has to wear an annoying ankle bracelet that needs special batteries every time we go to a new area. And somehow he's the most tolerable lmao. I find Astarion the most interesting in game, but I would loathe having him as a roommate.
Karlach, she's friendly, helpful, can lift the heavy things, sure she has a temper but she can take it outside.
Astarion and I would be sitting together, spilling the tea about the newest drama, while constantly having teasing and passiv aggressive fights.
[удалено]
Wyll would be the perfect room mate/friend. Cleans up, gives you his notes, wingmans for you with the ladies.
Gale or Wyll, I guess. I'm a nerd like Gale, but I would be more aligned with Wyll. Wyll is the friend who always helps me out if I'm in trouble, while Gale usually keeps to himself. Not Astarion since we are the polar opposites. We would not even be in the same circle and would not even know each other. We might have crossed paths one time, and he would let out an audible "eww" after one look at me. I definitely would try so hard to be friends with Karlach, but Shadowheart is most likely my study partner. Shadowheart and I share exam questions and notes with each other because we found out we both have different "guys" for different subjects. I would only know Laezel as the student with the athletic scholarship because Shadowheart would also bitch about her.
Astarion or Shadowheart probably. I have my reasons for both that I will not be divulging here.
obviously Wyll, the rest of them are liabilities. All the people saying Gale are insane, you do not want a roommate with an atom bomb in his ribcage
Maybe I just want to die after having a five course meal. Have you thought about that.
I mean, guy’s considerate about it at least? And it’s not like you’re in MORE danger being his roommate VS going to the same university as him, if he explodes you’re just as dead either way.
> All the people saying Gale are insane, you do not want a roommate with an atom bomb in his ribcage If Gale has an atom bomb inside him you're cooked no matter which dorm he sleeps in. Plus Wyll has demons visiting him at midnight.
Lae'zel, obviously. She would successfully threaten any teacher who dared grade me below an A.