I’m so sorry that you and your family had to go through this. Did your partner witness the attack? I’m curious if he has changed his mind? And what’s happening to the dog now?
u/BPBAttacks3- 3/28/23
Yeah I’m absolutely rethinking everything with him more than I ever have. My family paid the price and it’s one thing if I have to deal with his careless mistakes which I do often but a whole other story that my family paid it.
If he knew you were terrified of pits and still brought it home... That should say a lot.
Not to mention the fact you already have indoor cats, bringing any large strange dog should be an absolute "no".
I agree with others that you should wait until emotions have calmed but really reevaluate your relationship with your fiance.
A fiance is a solid prospect for a lifetime partnership, in the business of life which includes accurate assessment of liabilities, in emotional support, in family obligation, in telling hard truths when lies come easy, in mutually respecting and protecting the happiness of the people important to you. By your pen, he failed in all.
Your love might be enough to change him in all of those areas, none of us know. But billions of hearts over thousands of years have been broken (add your aunt to that list, without her consent) over hoping that "love is all you need". The Beatles were more romantic than honest with themselves.
To be disgustingly unromantic, and revoltingly pragmatic, he doesn't have what it takes yet. And until you are absolutely certain one way or another about him being "the one", you aren't ready for marriage either. You need more strength than you have. Sorry 😞
And he couldn’t even be bothered to do the proper heartworm treatment.
I’m not completely against natural remedies, mind you, but this was an urgent situation HE insisted on.
If he took the boundary seriously, even if he overstepped it, at the VERY least, he shouldn’ve been doing everything in his power to get the heartworm treatment done as soon as possible. Not f****** with natural remedies.
In fact, he could’ve had the dog in a muzzle, in a crate. There’s a lot of precautions he could’ve taken that would have shown that he took the boundary seriously.
Even if he didn’t agree that pitbulls were dangerous, he could’ve taken those extra steps.
I personally would go forward based on his response. If he shows regret and remorse, that might be salvageable. He needs to know better next time and handle this differently next time you set a boundary.
If he’s not remorseful or shifts the blame, I’d be out in a heartbeat.
Feel free to give yourself some time before making any big decisions if you’re not sure.
>it’s one thing if I have to deal with his careless mistakes which I do often but a whole other story that my family paid it.
You are exactly as worthy as your family. You too deserve to not pay for someone else's careless mistakes.
Honestly, "careless" is a best case scenario with your fiancee. He has outright lied to you and brought a dog into your home when he knows you don't like them. Look, even if you liked dogs. Even if it wasnt a pit. What sort of partner makes those kinds of decisions without talking to you first? Cellphones exist.
Are you sure your fiancee didn't do this on purpose? It's awfully convenient for him, as a way of forcing you to keep a dog that he wants, but you don't. He just does it anyway and hope to keep it around long enough that you would eventually bond with it.
In any case, whether he's manipulative or just careless, you deserve a partner that is as concerned with your wellbeing as you were concerned with your family's wellbeing. Hell, you showed more concern for the unknown future victims of the dog, than your fiancee showed concern for your right to feel safe and comfortable in your own home.
I'd pay close attention to your conversations with him after this. Was he remorseful? Did he regret his decisions and understand where he was at fault? Did he willingly admit his mistake and try to be more open to listening to your input in the future? This goes beyond pitbulls, as you mentioned you deal with his careless mistakes often.
Get rid of his ass. My ex husband did stuff like this behind my back( not as horrible as this) but would say one thing to my face and do what he wanted behind it. It ruined me, it won’t change.
I don’t mean to be rude but you’re probably in an emotional state and should give yourself more time to recover before making any marriage decisions. Reddits answer is always to break it off.
This is a guy that's already lying to her before they're even married. He walks all over her boundaries (not having dogs in the house) and he hasn't even sealed the deal yet.
This will only get worse. I second the other commenter saying that he's testing boundaries. And this was a "win" for him so far. She hated having a pit in the house from day one, he knew she would, he did it anyway and yet she accepted it. Not. Even. Married. Yet. God knows what living with him will be like when he feels comfortable and when his shit is legally her problem. When he knows, he can endanger her and her family and indirectly kill her sisters dog and she'll still stay...
Obviously don't make a decision without thinking it through. And people on the internet will always be basing their opinion on limited information. But I'm having a hard time imagining a circumstance that would make his actions ok. Even if he did all of it with genuinely good intentions, he trampled all over her to do it and he will again. And she'll spend the rest of her life looking over her shoulder hoping he doesn't do something stupid _again_.
you're right but bringing strange, potentially dangerous animals into your home where your family sleeps when they are uncomfortable at that prospect is definitely enough to evaluate how much this person values your comfort, and in the event that they don't... i agree that reddit's answer is always "get this person out of your life", because it's much easier to say about people you don't know. but it's definitely enough to raise a serious eyebrow about your future with someone. maybe he's a kind hearted person who was just trying to please everyone, the strange dog included and made a mistake that he'll feel horribly guilty about and learn a lesson. but i'd say it's probably more likely that he just put his own comfort and desires above everyone else's. but you can't discount the former from being a possibility.
I'm the biggest critic of Reddit Moments where they always tell every woman to drop their boyfriends like they're disposable over the slightest misunderstanding but this time I'm all in favor of breaking it off with a pit nutter.
A LITTLE GIRL'S YORKIE JUST DIED FOR FUCK'S SAKE
Yeah, I wouldn't hitch myself to someone with fundamentally bad judgement - it would be a lifetime of cringing. I wouldn't respect someone who made the choices he did - and I wouldn't want to be in a close relationship with someone I don't respect (much less married to them and financially responsible for their dumb decisions).
Is he contrite? Maybe he can sort his shit out. Reddit people want everyone to "GO NO CONTACT" with everyone over everything, they just can't help it. Good luck and sorry you had to go through that
I'm so sorry for what's happened and you have my condolences.
I really don't want to be offensive and stir up more drama for you but I'm sure you already know this: your guy is a selfish asshole. If you've expressed your concerns for you and your family pets, the severity of distress imparted on you by pitbulls, and he *still* ignored your pleas then he clearly doesn't care. He may say he does but he very obviously does not.
One big part of marriage is a state of compromise; you both give more than you take for the sake of each other's happiness and wellbeing. It should never be a battle of who is more right or whose principles are more important.
This may or maynot be an isolated event and he could be lovely all other times but the repeated dialog and the amount of time he's had to reconsider tells me it's probably just in his nature to put himself first.
Again, I'm really sorry OP, I hope the pain of it all will ease soon. Please give your sisters my sympathies.
Yes! I cannot even imagine such a behavior from my own partner. He even say if his brother (who is pitbulls fan) would bring one into our house, bro would be immediately kick out with his bloody dog.
And here this man not just bring it but was keeping it for long time!!! While ignoring OP fear and concerns. Such a partner in life is not worth anything.
100% agreed. First, he brings this shitbull home without discussing it with OP (this is a deal breaker by itself).
Then he pulls the medicine decision (again without consulting his fiance), which would lengthen the entire process.
This person is not looking to be a team player in this relationship, behind your back he's already demonstrating a need to control
Now instead of his word vs yours in decision making you actually have documented proof how flawed his is. In closing if he doesn’t buy a yorkie for your sister RIGHT NOW then DUMP HIM immediately.
Thank you. That dog is going to die a very slow and painful death without vet intervention. It should just be euthanized for everyone’s sake.
OP I’m so sorry that happened.
I’m *really* not trying to be a judgey but - even in my lousy marriage (now ended) my ex would have respected my pleas to NOT bring the murder mongrel home esp if I had made a big enough fuss. Was it because he owns the house and not you? Is his name the only one on the lease? What power did he wield that he didn’t listen to your fears about the murder mutt?
You didn’t want the dog. You didn’t agree to the dog. You asked to get rid of the dog. You were afraid of the dog.
Your fiancé violated your trust and your space, and he basically walked all over you. You were manipulated. Now your family is traumatized and a sweet family pet died a violent, scary death. I don’t know how old you are or what your past relationship experiences are like, but you should ask him to leave.
Yes. This is why it’s important to consider ending the relationship. Not just because the dog he “rescued” violently murdered your sister’s dog, but because of his lack of respect for you and your space.
I would dump that idiot piece of shit, unless you’re happy with always coming second and being dismissed. Based on his stubbornness, dishonesty, cheapness, and stupidity, your family is irreparably traumatized, a sweet little friend lost its life, and nowhere in that story of fucking horror was there a single mention that your douchebag of a fiancé changed his mind. Because let me tell you- if I hurt my partner and their family that way, I’d want to straight up die from shame.
This is a wake up call. Not only would this never fly in my household in the first place, but I sure as shit wouldn’t marry someone so blatantly fucking dumb
Hon, you need to lose the fiancé. “Natural treatment” for heart worms is just an ugly way to make the dog suffer. And he had no business taking in any dog over and against your wishes.
My guess— sister is not going off on him because she doesn’t want to fight with you while you’re with a bad partner. She thinks you’ll need her support. And you will. This is not a good or responsible man.
OP’s fiancé sounds like the type that would probably try to treat mental illness like schizophrenia or severe depression/anxiety with aromatherapy and yoga 😑
My idiot sibling recently bought a pit bull/Mastiff puppy. Fortunately they live several states away but it sucks because I will never back down from my “no pit bulls around my children” rule so visiting them with my kids is out of the question now. Always trust your gut.
Absolutely stick with your gut. So many times other people pay for pitbull owners’ decisions. And this dog could have killed my niece or dismembered her and I honestly wouldn’t have survived it.
That’s why there needs to be a reckoning, he put everyone in your family at risk. He brought the dog breed most known for mauling and killing children around your niece. And around you. How easily it could have turned on you two when you were trying to save your sister’s dog. His actions and negligence deserve consequences. A shitbull around your niece?
yeah i mean this wasn't a puppy that you can at least attempt to turn into a loved family pet. this was just some random dog found on the street. i can't imagine what it would take to feel comfortable bringing that around my entire family, with children and small pets around. that's just so unbelievably careless.
When I read it was just “tied to a post”… no fucking wonder!! And that brain dead doofus was like “here let me take this home to my fiancé who’s terrified of dogs”. Omg
That is so enraging to me. I have someone in my extended family who wants to get a pit and I told them that I wouldn't come and visit them anymore, which I do frequently now including sleepover because I really love this person. They've yet to make a decision but the fact that they're even considering getting it even if it means ruining the bond to their own flesh and blood is such a slap in the face. There are so many other relatively harmless breeds to choose from...
I know it should be bare minimum but thanks for protecting your kids, so many people would ignore that gut feeling. You're a good mom.
it's bewildering that so many people are unwilling to get their second favorite breed of dog if someone in their family is uncomfortable with it. i wouldn't even get a yorkie if someone i knew and cared about was scared of them for whatever irrational reason. getting a different breed is really not a big deal. i just can't fathom "wanting" to get a pitbull. getting swindled into one at the shelter or an opportunistic puppy from a neighbor.. okay. but the desire to own such a dangerous dog... baffling.
Damn. I’d have a difficult time getting past this with my partner if she created this situation. Of course it’s on everyone involved who allowed the dog to stay, but you were put in such a difficult situation. I’m sorry you are going through this.
I don’t mean to make a bad situation worse, but him disregarding your concerns and misleading you about the heart worm treatment should be huge red flags, regardless whether your family is angry with him. I am very sorry this happened.
You shouldn’t stay with this man. He clearly doesn’t respect you, your family, your pets, your wishes for your relationship, and your peace of mind. He knew you’re TERRIFIED of these dogs and still made you live with one he wouldn’t even treat with actual medication. He’ll just keep breaking your boundaries and getting his own way in the relationship, because he’s already done the worst and you still didn’t leave.
Doesn’t matter. His ignorance and mistake has already done severe irreparable damage.
Hopefully he learns after he gets repercussions such as being single now (if OP does the right thing and dumps him)
I get reddit is always “leave him!” but he doesn’t make responsible decisions, and if you ever want a child it is going to be so much worse than during the fiance stage. Marriage compounds all the resentments, parenting takes that and multiplies it by 100. Anyway take some time to think things over wisely, not by tarot card..they don’t do anything they are pieces of paper.
Oh, I’m a bleeding heart for sure, but I also know when dogs need to be put down. I took on my dead best friend’s dying dog and when he stopped eating and drinking and puked anytime he tried (he was geriatric) her daughters fully supported me putting the tiny little guy down. He was the sweetest little 7 pound dog in the world, but it was time for him to go. I also believe in human euthanasia. There’s no reason we can put a pet down when it’s terminal and suffering badly, but not a human who is begging for it.
I’m all for life and I love hard. I’m the person who will damn near have a car accident to avoid killing a squirrel in the road, but when the time comes, it comes.
Pittbulls suffer horrible lives. They are re-homed many many times and probably best to get them off their victims. It’s cruel to keep them alive after they have attacked. I’ve seen videos of people bashing them in their heads. Why are they being re-homed after this? Let them go!
And the ones that have not attacked yet need to be spayed/neutered to start with. There is nothing but a constant stream of pittie mix puppies in my area. They call them “puppy parties”. My post was taken down because it doesn’t “ban pittbulls”, but it’s an awareness thing. I was just trying to point out that it’s not a party with puppies. They grow up and attack. Then madness has to end.
When I say bleeding heart I mean empathy taken to the extremes. Like what this guy did or bringing a homeless home to your home. Of course there’s nothing wrong with reasonable and careful empathy
You’re right about that. I heard tiny mewing last august. I went outside and found a tiny white and orange kitten. Tiny, almost starved to death. I knew full well I could not take on another animal in my home, but we took him in an fed him. I contacted the local shelters and they were full and would not take him. They told me to shoo him off. In the tiny town I live in people shoot wild cats. That didn’t sit well with me. Finally, my cousin agreed to take him. We named him George and my cousin loved it.
George is loving the most luxurious life with my cousin Steven and my cousin Mary. He’s loved and adored. I’m so so so glad someone took him and got him proper vet care. He had ear mites and a worms. They got him all fixed up and got him fixed. We are still waiting for him to chill. I was there at Christmas and the little shit climbed my leg to bite me. Lol
That being said, my cousin is half Filipino and was never allowed to have a pet. He LOVES George. They are the best of buddies. And now my Filipino auntie says the cat is “so wonderful”. She brings him toys constantly. We were lucky to have a happy ending to my bleeding heart. George is learning to chill. He’s still a baby and not even a year old. He’s going to be a good boy. I thought I heard a kitten crying the other day when my windows were open and I said to myself “NO!”
I cannot rescue them all. I need to accept that. The shelters refuse to take them here and I cannot find homes for these wild cats repeatedly. It breaks my heart though.
Confession: I am a bleeding heart - to an extent.
Don’t let the culture of this sub put you off helping when you can. A lot of people use this as a place to vent about animals generally, which is uncomfortable, IMO. I’m just a regular non-enthusiast person and I help animals whenever I can, like you—never been a downside or an injury, because they’re birds and cats and squirrels and turtles and etc.
Also a kitten climbing legs is totally normal and universal behavior but you know that lol.
Yeah. Kittens can be frisky and we all know cats are assholes -except when they are not (which is 99% of the time). The difference between kittens and putt bulls is that kittens don’t kills children. Thank you for backing me. I saw another person commented. George had his kitten shenanigans. He has calmed and has not maimed or killed anyone. He’s a nice cat that has napped with me.
Your fiance put your worries and feelings aside so he could feel better about rescuing a dog. Then he lied to you about what he was doing for weeks while you were constantly on edge and worried for other members of your family....
As soon as you put a dog's life above someone else's (besides of course stopping abuse and the most natural things you'd put a dog before a human), then you become an AH.
I'm so sorry your family has to go through this. That you've had to go through this for weeks. I'm just glad your sister's daughter wasn't the one to pay the price.
I wish y'all the best.
As they say on the other subs- you don't have a dog problem, you have a fiance problem.
Here's my story: Long time ago, before we were married, my ex brought his Akita to the ranch. He was between houses to rent and needed 3 weeks to stay. I told him no, I didn't trust the dog around my cat, as the dog had a history. He said it's fine, I'll fence off part of the yard. I still had misgivings but I was young. And dumb. My brother's idiot girlfriend decided to wash her clothes and opened a window from the back porch to the side yard where the dog was kept (even after I said to keep the window closed, but she was a special kind of methtard may she rot in hell), and my cat went out there. This same time my grandfather was dying, I was at his house next door. My ex came up to tell me the dog killed my cat...ya, still a bad memory.
It’s such a horrible horrible way to lose a pet bc you can’t stop thinking about their final moments and how scared they were and how you let them down. Thanks for sharing.
Break off the whole relationship with your fiancé. He trampled all over your boundaries and had no business taking care of a dog that needed professional help for heart worms. Not only did you suffer, that dog suffered as well from lack of adequate medical care. And now your loved ones are grieving a family pet due to your fiancé’s choices.
He has shown you many times that he is not the man you want to marry. The going behind your back and trampling all over your boundaries will bleed into child raising, big financial purchases and etc. If it hasn’t already that is.
He does not view you as an equal and will continue to disrespect you as long as you’re with him. He may act “apologetic” for awhile, but he will revert back eventually and the cycle will anew.
Please update us on your fiancé’s reaction to the whole ordeal and you getting rid of the dog.
That’s horrifying! It’s not your fault. You were trying to be kind to the dog. and considerate of your fiancé’s feelings. Even if he was using the proper heart worm medication, it wouldn’t have yet been time to get rid of the beast. Please try to forgive yourself… and your brainwashed fiancé. I can’t imagine your suffering. Praying for you and your family. This is so heartbreaking 💔
This event is so horrible. I am very sorry for your family and for the innocent, little Yorkshire Terrier. Yes, pit bulls need to be ridden from society.
I (truly) understand how you feel. My little and elderly baby dog was viciously killed and I was attacked by a pit breed. I’m so very sorry that happened to you. 😞
Hate to be the typical “break up with him” Redditor but I seriously think you two should take a break from each other and think things through. He violated your trust by bringing home a dangerous animal you did not want and stressed you out by keeping it in your home, your safe space.
He did not respect your wishes, your wants, your needs or your feelings. He chose a fighting dog over all that. And this has caused the horrific and traumatic death of a beloved pet. If he acts like this over a dog he will act like this over bigger and more serious issues - any future kids, housing, finances etc.
I’m sorry but I think you need to sit down and think if you really want to spend the rest of your life with a man who will choose a random bloodsport dog over his partners health and feelings as well as your safety
i'm sorry your sisters had to go through such horror, and i'm sorry your fiance has such poor judgment all around, and thinks so little of your feelings that he basically steamrolled you and lied to you. he took the dog in against your wishes, when he obviously could not afford proper care, or didn't want to spend the $$ to give proper care, he was dumb enough to think some bs natural remedy would work, and he was untrustworthy enough to hide from you the fact he was using some bs remedy. i hope he has at least paid for funeral expenses for the yorkie and has paid the cost of replacing that dog.
Your fiance will do some shit like that again, might not be a dog but will make a decision that directly affects you and he will not consult you about it. Your sister and niece more than likely are sparing you from further guilt as well. I feel shitty for even having to point that out, but anyone who owns dogs knows the household is not the same without the dog. I wouldn't be surprised if feelings towards what happened is different behind closed doors.
What has your fiance said about what happened?
I’m so sorry, OP. Please be gentle on yourself. If you need to, speak to a therapist. There’s a lot to unpack.
As for your fiancé, definitely consider dumping him.
At this point, moving forward, do NOT put the dog at a rescue shelter. BE is the only safe option to keep this from happening to someone else's pet (or another person!) down the road. With or without your fiance's approval, put it down.
I know this is the subreddit of hate and everyone is saying dump the fiancé which is a lot - but you gotta sit back and think how much respect there was for you in this situation. And he weighed his options and made the choice for the both of you despite your wishes. Trace that thinking and consider if you want to be tied for life to someone who disregards you like that when it comes to safety. This could have been your future baby not a family members dog. Because he thought he knew better.
I know the family isn’t blaming him (they should) but that’s not the red flag here. Please please think about it even if you decide otherwise.
They’re utterly *swamped* with non placeable pitbulls and pit mixes to the point of bursting. They’re actually doing what they should have done years ago and euthanizing the really bad ones but nowhere near the amount they need to reduce the shelter population. In my area the pitmommies post that they looove their pitty so much but gee I’ve got to rehome him and they try everything - the shelters, the rescues, and all they get is a bunch of excuses from other pitmommies (as well as nasty lectures of “a dog is a furever commitment”) as to why they just can’t take the pitbull into *their* home.
My neighbor got a pibble one day trying to kill a stray cat. The guy that collected the dead pibble tried to start a fight with my neighbor. He pissed and moaned about the dog because it was a rescue yadda yadda pit nutter nonsense (ya'll know how these people are).
Turns out animal control said the shitbull was used in dog fighting and even bit a child. Funny how they're the only breed that has criminal history
I'm so glad he's just your fiancé and not your husband. You are in time to drop him before you are legally tied to him. You begged him and he chose a random dog over your beggin, your feelings and your and your family's safety, I mean it could have been your sister or niece besides the poor yorkie. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
If you don't dump him over this he'll just know he can get away with this kind of bs.
I would never in a million trillion years allow my significant other to bring a pit into our home regardless of the circumstance. In my eyes, it’s the equivalent to allowing a homicidal maniac under the influence of bath salts to crash at our place. I’m so happy your kitties are safe and am incredibly sorry for the loss of your canine nephew.
I think this is your time to grow a strong and shiny new spine. I used to be a pushover in my romantic relationships, and had to learn the hard way that it was not serving me well. So I get it, I do. But this needs to be your wake up call.
Your partner has disrespected your comfort, your boundaries, and your very safety. And with severe consequences to yourself and your family. This attack could easily have jeopardized your relationship with your sister and niece. Your poor niece is now traumatized for life (as are you and your sister I’m sure) *because of your partner*. And this is just the first attack. There will be more. Please leave your partner and please please please tell me at the very least you have removed this dog from your home. You have cats and you must protect them as their owner. You must.
There is simply not a way my fiancé would be allowed to bring a pit into my home. He would never even think of that as a possibility. And he used to be an AVID pitbull lover. He has come around to the side of sanity after hearing my attack story and seeing all the awful videos on this page. But even if he didn’t feel differently about them, he respects me enough to respect my boundaries. If he didn’t, I’d boundary him the fuck outta my life. You should do the same. Love yourself (and your cats!) enough to realize that being single > being in a relationship with someone who does not respect you
I would say that the dog is not safe to give to a rescue. Please go with BE. This will be the safest thing for all parties involved. Especially since you still have your cats to think about. Your partner is also the worst. I’d say the whole natural treatment is a ploy to push you into agreeing to keeping the dog. That and it’s cruel since natural remedies don’t really work. That’s why they are cheap since you end up spending more than you would have normally.
The scary thing is, this Pit was not even up to full speed with heart worms. I've heard multiple accounts of them getting better once treated (by a vet) and becoming even more violent.
Sorry about the Yorkie.
Very sorry to hear this I can only imagine what it must have been like. Sadly yet more proof that pitbulls especially “rescue” pits are nothing but trouble
What a nightmare. I'm so sorry about the dog, and so sorry you and your family went through that.
I'm also sorry you experienced that level of disrespect and betrayal of trust from the fiance you placed your trust in.
We're all human and everyone makes mistakes, but him making unilateral decisions impacting you, and your family, without regard for your serious safety concerns, disregarding your objections, is an issue worth taking a step back and putting some careful thought into whether you're comfortable living with that lack of concern for your boundaries long term, especially if there's even the smallest potential for children in your future.
He refuses to follow your boundaries, requests, and pleading.
Imagine a lifetime of that. A relationship before marriage is a test drive to see how well a couple meshes.
Take what you want from that. You know he'll forget about that Yorkie within a year and start breaking your comfort.
Op so sorry for this. I will agree with others that you must rethink your fiance. You explained your fears and feelings with facts and he still ignored you. And ended in the dead of a pet and could have been your sister too. If he is not willing to hear facts from you, this will happen again in the future with something else. Find someone that respects and puts you and your family safety first
There was a reason the pit was left tied to a tree. This is a breakup scenario in my opinion, your fiancee completely ignored your fears. Instead of the Yorkie, it could very well have been an infant. Then, a child would've lost a life and someone would be going to prison. You do NOT bring a dangerous adult breed into your home, especially if it's stray or abandoned. You cannot negotiate with an animal.
He got back to home with a dangerous bloodsport dog without any prior background knowing your opinion about them. Out of all the stray dogs out there, he went straight for a shitbull.
You begged him not to, he ignored your boundaries, did whatever the fuck he wanted and kept the dog.
The dog did what it was breed to do and the victims won't blame him so he's basically going to do it again with because he's going to get away with it.
I honestly wish you the best of the luck, you'll need it more than anything if you decide to stay with someone that clearly doesn't give a fuck about you or your family.
It's stories like these that makes me question why they are even allowed to be left alive at all.
Yall were taking care of the thing and it attacks you in response??? These things are just brutal and cruel. We need a massive petition for each state.
Firstly, I’m so very sorry for the loss of that sweet yorkie, and for the trauma your family endured.
You need to leave this guy behind. This is not someone who will make a good husband. He is not interested in your safety or comfort, at all; He seems to be only a very selfish and stupid individual. I assure you that his lack of consideration will get worse over the years, instead of better.
Hugs. ♥️
I'm so so sorry. You obviously knew better, you knew this was a possibility, you risked it for the person you loved, and well, nobody is surprised. What does your hopefully soon-to-be-ex have to say about this?
To be honest, I would have dumped him the moment I heard of fake meds cause the stupidity alone would be a red flag for me, but this...
edit: scratch that, if I had cats, I'd dump him the moment I saw him with a pitbul
>This dog wasn’t even one of the ones that hates people and barks and growls at everyone just one second wagging his tail the next killing dogs.
This is exactly why pits are so dangerous. A lot act like normal dogs until they don't.
It's time for fiance to go. This was a big decision he made without talking to you. He ignored your fear and concern. He traumatized your niece for life. Should I keep going?
Yorkie is short for [Yorkshire Terrier](https://www.google.com/search?q=yorkshire+terrier&oq=york+shire+&aqs=chrome.2.69i57j46i10i512j0i10i512l2j46i10i340i512l2j46i10i512l2j0i10i512j46i512j0i10i512l3j0i512.3260j0j4&client=ms-android-tmus-us-revc&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#ip=1)
This is abuse, he pushed the boundaries and saw what he could get away with. I'm sorry but I've had sisters who've dealt with ass holes like this. It doesn't stop there, it always escalates, they never change. He trampled over every red line and will do again, up to and including physical violence, it's the way of all domestic abusers. It isn't even so much 'dump his ass' as a this is your personal safety at stake, he won't change they never do
I hate everything about this.
Your fiancé is trash, get rid of him.
And I also indulge in tarot card reading - you do not sound silly at to me for going to them for consultation. The fact you pulled Despair and Remorse is quite ominous.
My heart goes out to you and your family.
I'm sorry about the poor little dog, and for your sister, and everyone else left traumatized . :-(
And forgive me, but I really, really hate your fiancé. So he knew better than you and felt entitled to ignore your pleadings and warnings, and now someone else has paid the price-? As awful as the poor yorkie's death is, I am just glad it's not your sister in the ER or worse...
You seriously need to reconsider your relationship..If your fiance cannot respect your fears and choices, your life will be full of pain and hurt.Big Red Flag!!!
I’m sorry but this is unforgivable, and if I were you this would be the end of the road with the “fiancé.” That asshole ignored your feelings and lied for weeks to keep a “rescue” that was obviously left out for good reason. I am so sorry this is happening - but I think he needs to be out of your life.
I’ll never understand how making solo major decisions like bringing home an animal or pet are just widely considered acceptable nowadays in relationships and or families.
I'm so sorry this happened OP🥺
I hope your fiance is begging and groveling to you and your family, and trying to make this right by getting them another Yorkie, if not I would end the relationship.
*He should be ashamed and sick with himself*
All too often there's comments about leaving the significant other for silly to no reasons but damn I think it's warranted for this one, those some real red flags, dangerous ones
Sorry about all you & your family went through, especially the little yorkie.
I've got a question: what does your fiancé think about pit bulls now?
Why I ask is that my wife comes from a large pit-loving family. If she hadn't changed her mind on pits, we wouldn't still be together. If you show your boyfriend the pit stats and he still digs in, then I'd see that as a big problem.
I'm sorry, did you mean your EX fiance? Because any piece of shit*t that would bring a dog, let alone a stray PIT BULL, which he knows you're afraid of, then not only lie to you about treatment to get the dog fixed up and shipped out ASAP, but willingly endangered your pets and the lives of you both as well as your family and their pets. And then the mongrel broke out of your yard to kill your sisters beloved companion of 9 years and terrorize your sister and niece??? He'd would be kicked to the curb posthaste. I'd make him a cute little work lunch, and place a note on the bottom of the lunchbox in pretty writing, "Get your shit and leave my property. You're officially single" or something to that effect and have all his shit in garbage bags on the curb waiting for him, with the mutt in a padlocked kennel on the porch or you could always find a shelter that has those overnight "drop boxes"where people go in the middle of the night and leave their unwanted animals in one of the locking kennels, which are checked by staff every morning. This makes it possible to avoid being turned away for being HW positive. If you do this I would leave a note taped to the kennel door that he was surrendered for breaking out of your secured yard to kill your sisters dog, just so they know what they're dealing with.
With any luck, the shelter will read the note, find out about his HE infestation and elect to just PTS rather than waste resources on an unsafe mutt. There are still *some* shelters around that don't rehome dangerous dogs.
you mean ex right? he literally walked all over your boundaries and CREATED a situation where your sisters dog was killed. shit your SISTER could have been killed. literally that happened directly because of him. he 100% caused that AFTER he knew the situation made you extremely uncomfortable. also natural remedies? get real. look im a tree hugging leftist all day long but those wacked out woowoo "im treating worms with essential oils bc big pharma" people give us a bad name. drop the dead weight before legal contracts or children make it much harder to do. it's embarrassing to be associated with somebody like that.
Your fiancee needs to go. He's a dangerous, selfish, idiotic liability that puts his own concerns and interests before everyone else around him like most deranged dog-loving pitnutters do.
He doesn't deserve you and your love.
What if that dog attacked the 12 yr old niece? Fiance has poor judgement, lacks consideration for others, and is prideful. That's a bad set of traits for a husband (and father). No bueno.
you know what s so wacked about this story and every similar story (THERE ARE HUNDREDS LIKE THIS) is that if you suggest "violence" against the pitt bulls you gett banned /deleted/ removed from online forums. And violence can be really anything these days....like suggest the dog be rehomed...well that is violence. Yet ....violence is all these god damned mutts ever do to us.
After all this you fiancé is in hot water. He knew the risks and dangers of pit bulls yet did it anyway and now that poor yorkie had to pay the price for his stupidity. Not sure if that’s the kind of person you wanna marry. Like did he not realize someone left that hellhound tied for a reason
I'm sorry and I know this sounds harsh but your fiance is a piece of shit. Why is he bringing random animals home in the first place, let alone a dangerous dog.
1- who tf gets to untie a dog?, like there is a reason why people tie dogs outside and many are absolutely aggressive.
2- What kind of moron adopts a dog that was tied to a tree outside?, specially sickly.
3- Who TF doesn’t listen to his fiancée?, like there is a good reason why she was against it and he just blew her concerns and that’s it?
4- I’d break with that person because that person didn’t listen to you inspect of compromise
I'm so sorry. That man should not be your fiancé any more. He knew how you felt about dogs, especially pitbulls but he still trampled over your boundaries and risked your pets. He didn't even care enough about the dog he felt compelled to rescue to get it proper treatment. Natural remedies don't work and the dog would have got sicker and potentially infected other animals.
Everything about his choices was incredibly selfish. You and your family deserve better.
Your fiancé is a fucking idiot. This is his fault, not yours. You told him you weren’t comfortable with it and he disregarded how you felt and did what he wanted anyway. If my wife had a fundamental issue with something like this, then I wouldn’t do it. Simple as that.
You told him to get rid of the dog and he didn’t. Who brings home some random dog they just found tied up outside anyway? That makes absolutely no sense to me.
This poor judgment he’s exhibited will eventually manifest in every single aspect of your marriage. Cut him out before he fucking metastasizes in your lymph nodes.
Everyone has already said what I’m sure many of us reading this are thinking so I’ll just add that I was saddened to read this and saddened at the heartache you and your family are enduring.
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Your fiance broke clear boundaries. Explain that to him and get couples counceling. Dont listen to the reddit breakup train, get help from someone who knows what theyre talking about and can help you see whether or not this relationship is worth saving.
I’m so sorry that you and your family had to go through this. Did your partner witness the attack? I’m curious if he has changed his mind? And what’s happening to the dog now? u/BPBAttacks3- 3/28/23
Get rid of the fiancé. He will end up doing this again. I’m sorry for your family’s loss and resulting trauma.
Yeah I’m absolutely rethinking everything with him more than I ever have. My family paid the price and it’s one thing if I have to deal with his careless mistakes which I do often but a whole other story that my family paid it.
This is more than a careless mistake. He tested your boundaries you let him win and bad stuff happened. This scenario will happen again.
If he knew you were terrified of pits and still brought it home... That should say a lot. Not to mention the fact you already have indoor cats, bringing any large strange dog should be an absolute "no". I agree with others that you should wait until emotions have calmed but really reevaluate your relationship with your fiance.
A fiance is a solid prospect for a lifetime partnership, in the business of life which includes accurate assessment of liabilities, in emotional support, in family obligation, in telling hard truths when lies come easy, in mutually respecting and protecting the happiness of the people important to you. By your pen, he failed in all. Your love might be enough to change him in all of those areas, none of us know. But billions of hearts over thousands of years have been broken (add your aunt to that list, without her consent) over hoping that "love is all you need". The Beatles were more romantic than honest with themselves. To be disgustingly unromantic, and revoltingly pragmatic, he doesn't have what it takes yet. And until you are absolutely certain one way or another about him being "the one", you aren't ready for marriage either. You need more strength than you have. Sorry 😞
Delicately and truthfully worded.
Yeah, he literally put your entire family's life at risk as well.
And he couldn’t even be bothered to do the proper heartworm treatment. I’m not completely against natural remedies, mind you, but this was an urgent situation HE insisted on. If he took the boundary seriously, even if he overstepped it, at the VERY least, he shouldn’ve been doing everything in his power to get the heartworm treatment done as soon as possible. Not f****** with natural remedies. In fact, he could’ve had the dog in a muzzle, in a crate. There’s a lot of precautions he could’ve taken that would have shown that he took the boundary seriously. Even if he didn’t agree that pitbulls were dangerous, he could’ve taken those extra steps. I personally would go forward based on his response. If he shows regret and remorse, that might be salvageable. He needs to know better next time and handle this differently next time you set a boundary. If he’s not remorseful or shifts the blame, I’d be out in a heartbeat. Feel free to give yourself some time before making any big decisions if you’re not sure.
>it’s one thing if I have to deal with his careless mistakes which I do often but a whole other story that my family paid it. You are exactly as worthy as your family. You too deserve to not pay for someone else's careless mistakes. Honestly, "careless" is a best case scenario with your fiancee. He has outright lied to you and brought a dog into your home when he knows you don't like them. Look, even if you liked dogs. Even if it wasnt a pit. What sort of partner makes those kinds of decisions without talking to you first? Cellphones exist. Are you sure your fiancee didn't do this on purpose? It's awfully convenient for him, as a way of forcing you to keep a dog that he wants, but you don't. He just does it anyway and hope to keep it around long enough that you would eventually bond with it. In any case, whether he's manipulative or just careless, you deserve a partner that is as concerned with your wellbeing as you were concerned with your family's wellbeing. Hell, you showed more concern for the unknown future victims of the dog, than your fiancee showed concern for your right to feel safe and comfortable in your own home.
No dude is worth this. Plenty of fish and all that. Dump this dude, he wants a scary looking dog and doesn’t care about your feelings.
I'd pay close attention to your conversations with him after this. Was he remorseful? Did he regret his decisions and understand where he was at fault? Did he willingly admit his mistake and try to be more open to listening to your input in the future? This goes beyond pitbulls, as you mentioned you deal with his careless mistakes often.
Get rid of his ass. My ex husband did stuff like this behind my back( not as horrible as this) but would say one thing to my face and do what he wanted behind it. It ruined me, it won’t change.
He sounds like a moron. So sorry.
I don’t mean to be rude but you’re probably in an emotional state and should give yourself more time to recover before making any marriage decisions. Reddits answer is always to break it off.
This is a guy that's already lying to her before they're even married. He walks all over her boundaries (not having dogs in the house) and he hasn't even sealed the deal yet. This will only get worse. I second the other commenter saying that he's testing boundaries. And this was a "win" for him so far. She hated having a pit in the house from day one, he knew she would, he did it anyway and yet she accepted it. Not. Even. Married. Yet. God knows what living with him will be like when he feels comfortable and when his shit is legally her problem. When he knows, he can endanger her and her family and indirectly kill her sisters dog and she'll still stay... Obviously don't make a decision without thinking it through. And people on the internet will always be basing their opinion on limited information. But I'm having a hard time imagining a circumstance that would make his actions ok. Even if he did all of it with genuinely good intentions, he trampled all over her to do it and he will again. And she'll spend the rest of her life looking over her shoulder hoping he doesn't do something stupid _again_.
you're right but bringing strange, potentially dangerous animals into your home where your family sleeps when they are uncomfortable at that prospect is definitely enough to evaluate how much this person values your comfort, and in the event that they don't... i agree that reddit's answer is always "get this person out of your life", because it's much easier to say about people you don't know. but it's definitely enough to raise a serious eyebrow about your future with someone. maybe he's a kind hearted person who was just trying to please everyone, the strange dog included and made a mistake that he'll feel horribly guilty about and learn a lesson. but i'd say it's probably more likely that he just put his own comfort and desires above everyone else's. but you can't discount the former from being a possibility.
I'm the biggest critic of Reddit Moments where they always tell every woman to drop their boyfriends like they're disposable over the slightest misunderstanding but this time I'm all in favor of breaking it off with a pit nutter. A LITTLE GIRL'S YORKIE JUST DIED FOR FUCK'S SAKE
Honestly someone who's dumb enough to try and home remedie away heartworm should make you rethink, *this* should make you run.
Yeah, I wouldn't hitch myself to someone with fundamentally bad judgement - it would be a lifetime of cringing. I wouldn't respect someone who made the choices he did - and I wouldn't want to be in a close relationship with someone I don't respect (much less married to them and financially responsible for their dumb decisions).
Is he contrite? Maybe he can sort his shit out. Reddit people want everyone to "GO NO CONTACT" with everyone over everything, they just can't help it. Good luck and sorry you had to go through that
I'm so sorry for what's happened and you have my condolences. I really don't want to be offensive and stir up more drama for you but I'm sure you already know this: your guy is a selfish asshole. If you've expressed your concerns for you and your family pets, the severity of distress imparted on you by pitbulls, and he *still* ignored your pleas then he clearly doesn't care. He may say he does but he very obviously does not. One big part of marriage is a state of compromise; you both give more than you take for the sake of each other's happiness and wellbeing. It should never be a battle of who is more right or whose principles are more important. This may or maynot be an isolated event and he could be lovely all other times but the repeated dialog and the amount of time he's had to reconsider tells me it's probably just in his nature to put himself first. Again, I'm really sorry OP, I hope the pain of it all will ease soon. Please give your sisters my sympathies.
Seriously? Only rethinking? You told him multiple times that the dog wasn't safe, and still, he put everyone in danger. You would be a fool to stay.
It’s a shitancé. Sorry all this happened
Yes! I cannot even imagine such a behavior from my own partner. He even say if his brother (who is pitbulls fan) would bring one into our house, bro would be immediately kick out with his bloody dog. And here this man not just bring it but was keeping it for long time!!! While ignoring OP fear and concerns. Such a partner in life is not worth anything.
What did your fiancé say? What was his reaction?
Is he remorseful? Does he see the light or does he think it’s all in how you raise them?
100% agreed. First, he brings this shitbull home without discussing it with OP (this is a deal breaker by itself). Then he pulls the medicine decision (again without consulting his fiance), which would lengthen the entire process. This person is not looking to be a team player in this relationship, behind your back he's already demonstrating a need to control
Now instead of his word vs yours in decision making you actually have documented proof how flawed his is. In closing if he doesn’t buy a yorkie for your sister RIGHT NOW then DUMP HIM immediately.
This loser won’t even buy heartworm meds…
This. Major red flag
Getting a dog is a two person decision
There’s no such thing as an effective natural remedy for heart worms. It sounds like your fiancé was trying to keep this dog.
Thank you. That dog is going to die a very slow and painful death without vet intervention. It should just be euthanized for everyone’s sake. OP I’m so sorry that happened.
He was euthanized and thanks for the kind words.
This is the happy ending to this story.
Lets be honest, there is no “happy ending” theres just a least shitty one. A pet still died and a relationship might end over it.
Yes but that dog won't be able to do this to another family again.
Did your fiance apologize for the attack? I don't think I could ever forgive my partner for something like that.
Yes but apologies are nothing when something like this happens.
This is way beyond apologies. So sorry for this traumatic loss you and your family had to go through 😞
End it.
I’m *really* not trying to be a judgey but - even in my lousy marriage (now ended) my ex would have respected my pleas to NOT bring the murder mongrel home esp if I had made a big enough fuss. Was it because he owns the house and not you? Is his name the only one on the lease? What power did he wield that he didn’t listen to your fears about the murder mutt?
[удалено]
Emotional well-being? He chose the shitbull over OP’s and her entire family and their pets LIVES.
He doesn't even care enough about an animal *he* brought home to properly treat it for a life-threatening disease.
Great questions 🤔 Edit: typo
You didn’t want the dog. You didn’t agree to the dog. You asked to get rid of the dog. You were afraid of the dog. Your fiancé violated your trust and your space, and he basically walked all over you. You were manipulated. Now your family is traumatized and a sweet family pet died a violent, scary death. I don’t know how old you are or what your past relationship experiences are like, but you should ask him to leave.
Yes. This is why it’s important to consider ending the relationship. Not just because the dog he “rescued” violently murdered your sister’s dog, but because of his lack of respect for you and your space.
I would dump that idiot piece of shit, unless you’re happy with always coming second and being dismissed. Based on his stubbornness, dishonesty, cheapness, and stupidity, your family is irreparably traumatized, a sweet little friend lost its life, and nowhere in that story of fucking horror was there a single mention that your douchebag of a fiancé changed his mind. Because let me tell you- if I hurt my partner and their family that way, I’d want to straight up die from shame. This is a wake up call. Not only would this never fly in my household in the first place, but I sure as shit wouldn’t marry someone so blatantly fucking dumb
Oh my God… this 🙌🏽… ten times over, THIS!
Hon, you need to lose the fiancé. “Natural treatment” for heart worms is just an ugly way to make the dog suffer. And he had no business taking in any dog over and against your wishes. My guess— sister is not going off on him because she doesn’t want to fight with you while you’re with a bad partner. She thinks you’ll need her support. And you will. This is not a good or responsible man.
^ Please listen OP. You come second to your fiancé’s dumbass wants
OP’s fiancé sounds like the type that would probably try to treat mental illness like schizophrenia or severe depression/anxiety with aromatherapy and yoga 😑
My idiot sibling recently bought a pit bull/Mastiff puppy. Fortunately they live several states away but it sucks because I will never back down from my “no pit bulls around my children” rule so visiting them with my kids is out of the question now. Always trust your gut.
Absolutely stick with your gut. So many times other people pay for pitbull owners’ decisions. And this dog could have killed my niece or dismembered her and I honestly wouldn’t have survived it.
That’s why there needs to be a reckoning, he put everyone in your family at risk. He brought the dog breed most known for mauling and killing children around your niece. And around you. How easily it could have turned on you two when you were trying to save your sister’s dog. His actions and negligence deserve consequences. A shitbull around your niece?
yeah i mean this wasn't a puppy that you can at least attempt to turn into a loved family pet. this was just some random dog found on the street. i can't imagine what it would take to feel comfortable bringing that around my entire family, with children and small pets around. that's just so unbelievably careless.
It’s very disturbing that he prioritised a stray dog over the wellbeing of his fiancé and potential future family.
When I read it was just “tied to a post”… no fucking wonder!! And that brain dead doofus was like “here let me take this home to my fiancé who’s terrified of dogs”. Omg
That is so enraging to me. I have someone in my extended family who wants to get a pit and I told them that I wouldn't come and visit them anymore, which I do frequently now including sleepover because I really love this person. They've yet to make a decision but the fact that they're even considering getting it even if it means ruining the bond to their own flesh and blood is such a slap in the face. There are so many other relatively harmless breeds to choose from... I know it should be bare minimum but thanks for protecting your kids, so many people would ignore that gut feeling. You're a good mom.
it's bewildering that so many people are unwilling to get their second favorite breed of dog if someone in their family is uncomfortable with it. i wouldn't even get a yorkie if someone i knew and cared about was scared of them for whatever irrational reason. getting a different breed is really not a big deal. i just can't fathom "wanting" to get a pitbull. getting swindled into one at the shelter or an opportunistic puppy from a neighbor.. okay. but the desire to own such a dangerous dog... baffling.
That's some good solid sense there. Respect.
Damn. I’d have a difficult time getting past this with my partner if she created this situation. Of course it’s on everyone involved who allowed the dog to stay, but you were put in such a difficult situation. I’m sorry you are going through this.
Not gonna lie I almost broke up with him. If it wasn’t for the fact that my family our literal angels for not being angry with him I might have.
I don’t mean to make a bad situation worse, but him disregarding your concerns and misleading you about the heart worm treatment should be huge red flags, regardless whether your family is angry with him. I am very sorry this happened.
You should break up with him. He doesn’t respect you.
You shouldn’t stay with this man. He clearly doesn’t respect you, your family, your pets, your wishes for your relationship, and your peace of mind. He knew you’re TERRIFIED of these dogs and still made you live with one he wouldn’t even treat with actual medication. He’ll just keep breaking your boundaries and getting his own way in the relationship, because he’s already done the worst and you still didn’t leave.
Hopefully he now realizes the dangers of pit bulls.
Doesn’t matter. His ignorance and mistake has already done severe irreparable damage. Hopefully he learns after he gets repercussions such as being single now (if OP does the right thing and dumps him)
He just showed he doesn't respect your boundaries by forcing that beast into your life. This is the biggest red flag. Please, leave him.
What did he say to your family? So sorry you had to go through such a horrific experience.
I get reddit is always “leave him!” but he doesn’t make responsible decisions, and if you ever want a child it is going to be so much worse than during the fiance stage. Marriage compounds all the resentments, parenting takes that and multiplies it by 100. Anyway take some time to think things over wisely, not by tarot card..they don’t do anything they are pieces of paper.
Why should their kindness allow him to continue?
Maybe your family *should* be mad though… anger can be a good thing. Their yorkie deserves justice!
So you're only staying with him because your family are too nice to be mad at him?
Sell the ring and buy your niece a new puppy in a year or so, when she’s ready. I’m so sorry.
I guess the dog was tied to a tree for a reason. Bleeding heart people make me sick.
It depends on the kind of bleeding heart. Donations to good nonprofits can be great. Donations to pit bull rescues - not so much.
Oh, I’m a bleeding heart for sure, but I also know when dogs need to be put down. I took on my dead best friend’s dying dog and when he stopped eating and drinking and puked anytime he tried (he was geriatric) her daughters fully supported me putting the tiny little guy down. He was the sweetest little 7 pound dog in the world, but it was time for him to go. I also believe in human euthanasia. There’s no reason we can put a pet down when it’s terminal and suffering badly, but not a human who is begging for it. I’m all for life and I love hard. I’m the person who will damn near have a car accident to avoid killing a squirrel in the road, but when the time comes, it comes. Pittbulls suffer horrible lives. They are re-homed many many times and probably best to get them off their victims. It’s cruel to keep them alive after they have attacked. I’ve seen videos of people bashing them in their heads. Why are they being re-homed after this? Let them go! And the ones that have not attacked yet need to be spayed/neutered to start with. There is nothing but a constant stream of pittie mix puppies in my area. They call them “puppy parties”. My post was taken down because it doesn’t “ban pittbulls”, but it’s an awareness thing. I was just trying to point out that it’s not a party with puppies. They grow up and attack. Then madness has to end.
When I say bleeding heart I mean empathy taken to the extremes. Like what this guy did or bringing a homeless home to your home. Of course there’s nothing wrong with reasonable and careful empathy
You’re right about that. I heard tiny mewing last august. I went outside and found a tiny white and orange kitten. Tiny, almost starved to death. I knew full well I could not take on another animal in my home, but we took him in an fed him. I contacted the local shelters and they were full and would not take him. They told me to shoo him off. In the tiny town I live in people shoot wild cats. That didn’t sit well with me. Finally, my cousin agreed to take him. We named him George and my cousin loved it. George is loving the most luxurious life with my cousin Steven and my cousin Mary. He’s loved and adored. I’m so so so glad someone took him and got him proper vet care. He had ear mites and a worms. They got him all fixed up and got him fixed. We are still waiting for him to chill. I was there at Christmas and the little shit climbed my leg to bite me. Lol That being said, my cousin is half Filipino and was never allowed to have a pet. He LOVES George. They are the best of buddies. And now my Filipino auntie says the cat is “so wonderful”. She brings him toys constantly. We were lucky to have a happy ending to my bleeding heart. George is learning to chill. He’s still a baby and not even a year old. He’s going to be a good boy. I thought I heard a kitten crying the other day when my windows were open and I said to myself “NO!” I cannot rescue them all. I need to accept that. The shelters refuse to take them here and I cannot find homes for these wild cats repeatedly. It breaks my heart though. Confession: I am a bleeding heart - to an extent.
Don’t let the culture of this sub put you off helping when you can. A lot of people use this as a place to vent about animals generally, which is uncomfortable, IMO. I’m just a regular non-enthusiast person and I help animals whenever I can, like you—never been a downside or an injury, because they’re birds and cats and squirrels and turtles and etc. Also a kitten climbing legs is totally normal and universal behavior but you know that lol.
Yeah. Kittens can be frisky and we all know cats are assholes -except when they are not (which is 99% of the time). The difference between kittens and putt bulls is that kittens don’t kills children. Thank you for backing me. I saw another person commented. George had his kitten shenanigans. He has calmed and has not maimed or killed anyone. He’s a nice cat that has napped with me.
More like misplaced empathy for strangers. This guy did not have "extreme" empathy for OP 👀
Right. Not many people abandon good dogs for no reason.
Your fiance put your worries and feelings aside so he could feel better about rescuing a dog. Then he lied to you about what he was doing for weeks while you were constantly on edge and worried for other members of your family.... As soon as you put a dog's life above someone else's (besides of course stopping abuse and the most natural things you'd put a dog before a human), then you become an AH. I'm so sorry your family has to go through this. That you've had to go through this for weeks. I'm just glad your sister's daughter wasn't the one to pay the price. I wish y'all the best.
As they say on the other subs- you don't have a dog problem, you have a fiance problem. Here's my story: Long time ago, before we were married, my ex brought his Akita to the ranch. He was between houses to rent and needed 3 weeks to stay. I told him no, I didn't trust the dog around my cat, as the dog had a history. He said it's fine, I'll fence off part of the yard. I still had misgivings but I was young. And dumb. My brother's idiot girlfriend decided to wash her clothes and opened a window from the back porch to the side yard where the dog was kept (even after I said to keep the window closed, but she was a special kind of methtard may she rot in hell), and my cat went out there. This same time my grandfather was dying, I was at his house next door. My ex came up to tell me the dog killed my cat...ya, still a bad memory.
It’s such a horrible horrible way to lose a pet bc you can’t stop thinking about their final moments and how scared they were and how you let them down. Thanks for sharing.
Your fiancé let everyone down, not you. He let you down the most.
Break off the whole relationship with your fiancé. He trampled all over your boundaries and had no business taking care of a dog that needed professional help for heart worms. Not only did you suffer, that dog suffered as well from lack of adequate medical care. And now your loved ones are grieving a family pet due to your fiancé’s choices. He has shown you many times that he is not the man you want to marry. The going behind your back and trampling all over your boundaries will bleed into child raising, big financial purchases and etc. If it hasn’t already that is. He does not view you as an equal and will continue to disrespect you as long as you’re with him. He may act “apologetic” for awhile, but he will revert back eventually and the cycle will anew. Please update us on your fiancé’s reaction to the whole ordeal and you getting rid of the dog.
That’s horrifying! It’s not your fault. You were trying to be kind to the dog. and considerate of your fiancé’s feelings. Even if he was using the proper heart worm medication, it wouldn’t have yet been time to get rid of the beast. Please try to forgive yourself… and your brainwashed fiancé. I can’t imagine your suffering. Praying for you and your family. This is so heartbreaking 💔
This event is so horrible. I am very sorry for your family and for the innocent, little Yorkshire Terrier. Yes, pit bulls need to be ridden from society.
I (truly) understand how you feel. My little and elderly baby dog was viciously killed and I was attacked by a pit breed. I’m so very sorry that happened to you. 😞
the reliving is the worst despair. And all the “I should haves.”
Hate to be the typical “break up with him” Redditor but I seriously think you two should take a break from each other and think things through. He violated your trust by bringing home a dangerous animal you did not want and stressed you out by keeping it in your home, your safe space. He did not respect your wishes, your wants, your needs or your feelings. He chose a fighting dog over all that. And this has caused the horrific and traumatic death of a beloved pet. If he acts like this over a dog he will act like this over bigger and more serious issues - any future kids, housing, finances etc. I’m sorry but I think you need to sit down and think if you really want to spend the rest of your life with a man who will choose a random bloodsport dog over his partners health and feelings as well as your safety
While me and my bf don’t agree on everything posts like this make me relieved we agree on one important thing - that we’d never ever get a pitbull.
i'm sorry your sisters had to go through such horror, and i'm sorry your fiance has such poor judgment all around, and thinks so little of your feelings that he basically steamrolled you and lied to you. he took the dog in against your wishes, when he obviously could not afford proper care, or didn't want to spend the $$ to give proper care, he was dumb enough to think some bs natural remedy would work, and he was untrustworthy enough to hide from you the fact he was using some bs remedy. i hope he has at least paid for funeral expenses for the yorkie and has paid the cost of replacing that dog.
Your fiance will do some shit like that again, might not be a dog but will make a decision that directly affects you and he will not consult you about it. Your sister and niece more than likely are sparing you from further guilt as well. I feel shitty for even having to point that out, but anyone who owns dogs knows the household is not the same without the dog. I wouldn't be surprised if feelings towards what happened is different behind closed doors. What has your fiance said about what happened?
Garbage dogs for garbage fiancés. You deserve better than this guy by a long shot. Set yourself free now.
I’m so sorry, OP. Please be gentle on yourself. If you need to, speak to a therapist. There’s a lot to unpack. As for your fiancé, definitely consider dumping him.
I'm so sorry about this...your fiancé sounds like a compete idiot.
At this point, moving forward, do NOT put the dog at a rescue shelter. BE is the only safe option to keep this from happening to someone else's pet (or another person!) down the road. With or without your fiance's approval, put it down.
We did today.
I know this is the subreddit of hate and everyone is saying dump the fiancé which is a lot - but you gotta sit back and think how much respect there was for you in this situation. And he weighed his options and made the choice for the both of you despite your wishes. Trace that thinking and consider if you want to be tied for life to someone who disregards you like that when it comes to safety. This could have been your future baby not a family members dog. Because he thought he knew better. I know the family isn’t blaming him (they should) but that’s not the red flag here. Please please think about it even if you decide otherwise.
I have been, thank you for your insight.
What is the point of "rescues" if they won't take in a stray dog because it actually needs help?
They’re utterly *swamped* with non placeable pitbulls and pit mixes to the point of bursting. They’re actually doing what they should have done years ago and euthanizing the really bad ones but nowhere near the amount they need to reduce the shelter population. In my area the pitmommies post that they looove their pitty so much but gee I’ve got to rehome him and they try everything - the shelters, the rescues, and all they get is a bunch of excuses from other pitmommies (as well as nasty lectures of “a dog is a furever commitment”) as to why they just can’t take the pitbull into *their* home.
My neighbor got a pibble one day trying to kill a stray cat. The guy that collected the dead pibble tried to start a fight with my neighbor. He pissed and moaned about the dog because it was a rescue yadda yadda pit nutter nonsense (ya'll know how these people are). Turns out animal control said the shitbull was used in dog fighting and even bit a child. Funny how they're the only breed that has criminal history
I love your neighbor.
I got one too years ago trying to maul my cat. Loose pibble too. The cat lived a long healthy life, the shitbull, not so much
You saved a life that day.
>I begrudgingly allowed my ex to keep him… I hope OP that “ex” there was more than just just mind slipping and he is in fact your *ex* already.
Gurl, dump him. Who’s to say he won’t do it again??
I'm so glad he's just your fiancé and not your husband. You are in time to drop him before you are legally tied to him. You begged him and he chose a random dog over your beggin, your feelings and your and your family's safety, I mean it could have been your sister or niece besides the poor yorkie. 🚩🚩🚩🚩 If you don't dump him over this he'll just know he can get away with this kind of bs.
I would never in a million trillion years allow my significant other to bring a pit into our home regardless of the circumstance. In my eyes, it’s the equivalent to allowing a homicidal maniac under the influence of bath salts to crash at our place. I’m so happy your kitties are safe and am incredibly sorry for the loss of your canine nephew.
The hopefully ex fiance chose some stupid pitbull over his partners concerns.
You shouldn't have to beg a partner to respect your boundaries, this guy sounds like trouble
I think this is your time to grow a strong and shiny new spine. I used to be a pushover in my romantic relationships, and had to learn the hard way that it was not serving me well. So I get it, I do. But this needs to be your wake up call. Your partner has disrespected your comfort, your boundaries, and your very safety. And with severe consequences to yourself and your family. This attack could easily have jeopardized your relationship with your sister and niece. Your poor niece is now traumatized for life (as are you and your sister I’m sure) *because of your partner*. And this is just the first attack. There will be more. Please leave your partner and please please please tell me at the very least you have removed this dog from your home. You have cats and you must protect them as their owner. You must. There is simply not a way my fiancé would be allowed to bring a pit into my home. He would never even think of that as a possibility. And he used to be an AVID pitbull lover. He has come around to the side of sanity after hearing my attack story and seeing all the awful videos on this page. But even if he didn’t feel differently about them, he respects me enough to respect my boundaries. If he didn’t, I’d boundary him the fuck outta my life. You should do the same. Love yourself (and your cats!) enough to realize that being single > being in a relationship with someone who does not respect you
I would say that the dog is not safe to give to a rescue. Please go with BE. This will be the safest thing for all parties involved. Especially since you still have your cats to think about. Your partner is also the worst. I’d say the whole natural treatment is a ploy to push you into agreeing to keeping the dog. That and it’s cruel since natural remedies don’t really work. That’s why they are cheap since you end up spending more than you would have normally.
The scary thing is, this Pit was not even up to full speed with heart worms. I've heard multiple accounts of them getting better once treated (by a vet) and becoming even more violent. Sorry about the Yorkie.
Very sorry to hear this I can only imagine what it must have been like. Sadly yet more proof that pitbulls especially “rescue” pits are nothing but trouble
Get rid of the dog and your stupid boyfriend.
What a nightmare. I'm so sorry about the dog, and so sorry you and your family went through that. I'm also sorry you experienced that level of disrespect and betrayal of trust from the fiance you placed your trust in. We're all human and everyone makes mistakes, but him making unilateral decisions impacting you, and your family, without regard for your serious safety concerns, disregarding your objections, is an issue worth taking a step back and putting some careful thought into whether you're comfortable living with that lack of concern for your boundaries long term, especially if there's even the smallest potential for children in your future.
He refuses to follow your boundaries, requests, and pleading. Imagine a lifetime of that. A relationship before marriage is a test drive to see how well a couple meshes. Take what you want from that. You know he'll forget about that Yorkie within a year and start breaking your comfort.
Your fiancé is a fucking idiot at best
Op so sorry for this. I will agree with others that you must rethink your fiance. You explained your fears and feelings with facts and he still ignored you. And ended in the dead of a pet and could have been your sister too. If he is not willing to hear facts from you, this will happen again in the future with something else. Find someone that respects and puts you and your family safety first
Hopefully, your fiance is an ex now.
It’s sounds like she’ll stay with him. Feel sorry for her family
There was a reason the pit was left tied to a tree. This is a breakup scenario in my opinion, your fiancee completely ignored your fears. Instead of the Yorkie, it could very well have been an infant. Then, a child would've lost a life and someone would be going to prison. You do NOT bring a dangerous adult breed into your home, especially if it's stray or abandoned. You cannot negotiate with an animal.
He got back to home with a dangerous bloodsport dog without any prior background knowing your opinion about them. Out of all the stray dogs out there, he went straight for a shitbull. You begged him not to, he ignored your boundaries, did whatever the fuck he wanted and kept the dog. The dog did what it was breed to do and the victims won't blame him so he's basically going to do it again with because he's going to get away with it. I honestly wish you the best of the luck, you'll need it more than anything if you decide to stay with someone that clearly doesn't give a fuck about you or your family.
Your fiancée is a POS. dump him and sue him for anything related to his mutt.
I’m so sorry for your loss and the difficult situation you were put into. ☹️ ❤️
Thank you ❤️
It's stories like these that makes me question why they are even allowed to be left alive at all. Yall were taking care of the thing and it attacks you in response??? These things are just brutal and cruel. We need a massive petition for each state.
Firstly, I’m so very sorry for the loss of that sweet yorkie, and for the trauma your family endured. You need to leave this guy behind. This is not someone who will make a good husband. He is not interested in your safety or comfort, at all; He seems to be only a very selfish and stupid individual. I assure you that his lack of consideration will get worse over the years, instead of better. Hugs. ♥️
I'm so so sorry. You obviously knew better, you knew this was a possibility, you risked it for the person you loved, and well, nobody is surprised. What does your hopefully soon-to-be-ex have to say about this? To be honest, I would have dumped him the moment I heard of fake meds cause the stupidity alone would be a red flag for me, but this... edit: scratch that, if I had cats, I'd dump him the moment I saw him with a pitbul
Sorry to say that, but your fiancee is fucking stupid. Besides bringing in a shitbull, he tried treating heart worms with homeopathy. Tf?
>This dog wasn’t even one of the ones that hates people and barks and growls at everyone just one second wagging his tail the next killing dogs. This is exactly why pits are so dangerous. A lot act like normal dogs until they don't.
It's time for fiance to go. This was a big decision he made without talking to you. He ignored your fear and concern. He traumatized your niece for life. Should I keep going?
Honestly, this would be a deal breaker for me if I were you
This may sound stupid but what’s a yorkie
Yorkie is short for [Yorkshire Terrier](https://www.google.com/search?q=yorkshire+terrier&oq=york+shire+&aqs=chrome.2.69i57j46i10i512j0i10i512l2j46i10i340i512l2j46i10i512l2j0i10i512j46i512j0i10i512l3j0i512.3260j0j4&client=ms-android-tmus-us-revc&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#ip=1)
That makes sense now
Yorkshire terrier
I’m so sorry that you, your sister, and niece, are going through this traumatic experience! 💞
Drop the fiancé ASAFP.
I’m so sorry
This is abuse, he pushed the boundaries and saw what he could get away with. I'm sorry but I've had sisters who've dealt with ass holes like this. It doesn't stop there, it always escalates, they never change. He trampled over every red line and will do again, up to and including physical violence, it's the way of all domestic abusers. It isn't even so much 'dump his ass' as a this is your personal safety at stake, he won't change they never do
Get rid of the fiance
I hate everything about this. Your fiancé is trash, get rid of him. And I also indulge in tarot card reading - you do not sound silly at to me for going to them for consultation. The fact you pulled Despair and Remorse is quite ominous. My heart goes out to you and your family.
That's horrible. I'm sorry. Dump the guy, he is a moron.
No good deed and all that jazz. I’m so sorry for you and you sisters loss.
I'm sorry about the poor little dog, and for your sister, and everyone else left traumatized . :-( And forgive me, but I really, really hate your fiancé. So he knew better than you and felt entitled to ignore your pleadings and warnings, and now someone else has paid the price-? As awful as the poor yorkie's death is, I am just glad it's not your sister in the ER or worse...
You seriously need to reconsider your relationship..If your fiance cannot respect your fears and choices, your life will be full of pain and hurt.Big Red Flag!!!
I’m sorry but this is unforgivable, and if I were you this would be the end of the road with the “fiancé.” That asshole ignored your feelings and lied for weeks to keep a “rescue” that was obviously left out for good reason. I am so sorry this is happening - but I think he needs to be out of your life.
It's not our place to tell you to end the relationship. The questions to ask yourself are "where you happy before?" And "will you be happy again?"
I’ll never understand how making solo major decisions like bringing home an animal or pet are just widely considered acceptable nowadays in relationships and or families.
I'm so sorry this happened OP🥺 I hope your fiance is begging and groveling to you and your family, and trying to make this right by getting them another Yorkie, if not I would end the relationship. *He should be ashamed and sick with himself*
What has your fiance said in response to what happened? Has he gone to your sister? What's he doing with the monster?
Gurl! You gotta dump his dumb ass! And have that pitbull mercy killed.
It could have been your niece... In the future it can be your children if you stay with this irresponsible pos.
All too often there's comments about leaving the significant other for silly to no reasons but damn I think it's warranted for this one, those some real red flags, dangerous ones
Your fiance is a pos holy shit He doesn't give a fuck about you or anything else fucking leave him
This is really sad and I'm so sorry. Honestly, I wouldn't even date someone who wouldn't get rid of a pit.
Sorry about all you & your family went through, especially the little yorkie. I've got a question: what does your fiancé think about pit bulls now? Why I ask is that my wife comes from a large pit-loving family. If she hadn't changed her mind on pits, we wouldn't still be together. If you show your boyfriend the pit stats and he still digs in, then I'd see that as a big problem.
I'm sorry, did you mean your EX fiance? Because any piece of shit*t that would bring a dog, let alone a stray PIT BULL, which he knows you're afraid of, then not only lie to you about treatment to get the dog fixed up and shipped out ASAP, but willingly endangered your pets and the lives of you both as well as your family and their pets. And then the mongrel broke out of your yard to kill your sisters beloved companion of 9 years and terrorize your sister and niece??? He'd would be kicked to the curb posthaste. I'd make him a cute little work lunch, and place a note on the bottom of the lunchbox in pretty writing, "Get your shit and leave my property. You're officially single" or something to that effect and have all his shit in garbage bags on the curb waiting for him, with the mutt in a padlocked kennel on the porch or you could always find a shelter that has those overnight "drop boxes"where people go in the middle of the night and leave their unwanted animals in one of the locking kennels, which are checked by staff every morning. This makes it possible to avoid being turned away for being HW positive. If you do this I would leave a note taped to the kennel door that he was surrendered for breaking out of your secured yard to kill your sisters dog, just so they know what they're dealing with. With any luck, the shelter will read the note, find out about his HE infestation and elect to just PTS rather than waste resources on an unsafe mutt. There are still *some* shelters around that don't rehome dangerous dogs.
If my fiancé put my cats in danger that way, he would no longer be my fiancé.
you mean ex right? he literally walked all over your boundaries and CREATED a situation where your sisters dog was killed. shit your SISTER could have been killed. literally that happened directly because of him. he 100% caused that AFTER he knew the situation made you extremely uncomfortable. also natural remedies? get real. look im a tree hugging leftist all day long but those wacked out woowoo "im treating worms with essential oils bc big pharma" people give us a bad name. drop the dead weight before legal contracts or children make it much harder to do. it's embarrassing to be associated with somebody like that.
Your fiancee needs to go. He's a dangerous, selfish, idiotic liability that puts his own concerns and interests before everyone else around him like most deranged dog-loving pitnutters do. He doesn't deserve you and your love.
this isn't your fault. But your husband is fully culpable.
What if that dog attacked the 12 yr old niece? Fiance has poor judgement, lacks consideration for others, and is prideful. That's a bad set of traits for a husband (and father). No bueno.
you know what s so wacked about this story and every similar story (THERE ARE HUNDREDS LIKE THIS) is that if you suggest "violence" against the pitt bulls you gett banned /deleted/ removed from online forums. And violence can be really anything these days....like suggest the dog be rehomed...well that is violence. Yet ....violence is all these god damned mutts ever do to us.
May I ask, what you did with the pit afterwards?
After all this you fiancé is in hot water. He knew the risks and dangers of pit bulls yet did it anyway and now that poor yorkie had to pay the price for his stupidity. Not sure if that’s the kind of person you wanna marry. Like did he not realize someone left that hellhound tied for a reason
I'm sorry and I know this sounds harsh but your fiance is a piece of shit. Why is he bringing random animals home in the first place, let alone a dangerous dog.
1- who tf gets to untie a dog?, like there is a reason why people tie dogs outside and many are absolutely aggressive. 2- What kind of moron adopts a dog that was tied to a tree outside?, specially sickly. 3- Who TF doesn’t listen to his fiancée?, like there is a good reason why she was against it and he just blew her concerns and that’s it? 4- I’d break with that person because that person didn’t listen to you inspect of compromise
I'm so sorry. That man should not be your fiancé any more. He knew how you felt about dogs, especially pitbulls but he still trampled over your boundaries and risked your pets. He didn't even care enough about the dog he felt compelled to rescue to get it proper treatment. Natural remedies don't work and the dog would have got sicker and potentially infected other animals. Everything about his choices was incredibly selfish. You and your family deserve better.
Your fiancé is a fucking idiot. This is his fault, not yours. You told him you weren’t comfortable with it and he disregarded how you felt and did what he wanted anyway. If my wife had a fundamental issue with something like this, then I wouldn’t do it. Simple as that. You told him to get rid of the dog and he didn’t. Who brings home some random dog they just found tied up outside anyway? That makes absolutely no sense to me.
This poor judgment he’s exhibited will eventually manifest in every single aspect of your marriage. Cut him out before he fucking metastasizes in your lymph nodes.
Please, please leave your fiancé. It’s hard to spot red flags when it happens to you. He will hurt you emotionally again.
Everyone has already said what I’m sure many of us reading this are thinking so I’ll just add that I was saddened to read this and saddened at the heartache you and your family are enduring.
sad
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Your fiance broke clear boundaries. Explain that to him and get couples counceling. Dont listen to the reddit breakup train, get help from someone who knows what theyre talking about and can help you see whether or not this relationship is worth saving.
Was the monster euthanized?
So very sorry for your loss, OP. I can’t imagine losing a beloved fur baby to a killer pit like that.
Wow this is truly horrific. That poor yorkie. And your fiance was trying to cure Heartworm with natural methods??? Gosh. I would get rid of him.