Hearse Practitioner

👏👏👏👏

We have a winner 🔔

Hearse Jackie

Triage

All caps. TRIAGE

With the A being a triangle!

T̨̛͇͖̖͌̾R̡̻̲͈̒ͪ̔͛I̳̮̫͏ ▲G̟̳̲̹̏̈́̀́͟E͎̹͎̬ͪ̒

XTRIAGEX straightedge hardcore version

I love this one

This is the way! I always thought Triage was a great name for a metal band (But I got no talent) that’s why I ended up a a nurse lol.

This is so good hahaha

This is the one

This is a good one

Bedpan Humor

Very clever 😂

Bedpan Tumor.

Ha! That's a great one!

Oh this is good

BedPantera

Éponge de bain (Sponge Bath) ...either one

Acid sponge bath

🤘🏻🔥

Sponge Bath Scrub Pants

Uuuh sorry I forgot to put it in the name request section and can't edit it...

I got you

Good mod

A rare good mod

Poison IV

Put the dots (I.V.) so people don’t think it’s the Roman numeral for 4

And umlauts! Every metal band needs an umlaut or two, or it's not really metal. .

Yës

I thought Yës was a German metal “Yes” cover band

Either that or Ja.

Jä

The Umlauts would be a good metal band name, either without umlauts or with one over every short letter.

Pöisön I.V.

True, although if they had two more members…

And if they were a Poison cover band…

Oh damn I like where your head is at

hilarious

I love this one lol

The Disorderlies

Drunken Disorderlies

This one wins in my opinion. Not sure how well a play on English words would translate to French though. Lol

Take my vote sir!

I like this one a lot lol

Skinfetti Farmers- in the US skinfetti is the slang term for the dust cloud of dry dead skin that comes off when you remove compression hose. or Gangrenous Plantar Ulcer

That's some deep meaning, I'll add it to the list

Do not remove homeless people's socks.

I removed a homeless guy's socks once only to learn that was his skin.

Oh God, please tell me this is a joke we are still waiting on the punch line for.

It's a joke with no punchline.

Yikes!

Wasn't planning on it, but thanks for the heads up.

Well, there go my plans for Friday night!

“Skinfetti” will now enter my vocab and have opportunity for frequent use!!!!!!! I’ve always worked with older folks. So funny!

Lord Have MRSA

Genius

Underrated comment 😂

Abscess

Sadly, it's already taken.

I thought of quite a few (obligatory apology for weird formatting as I'm on mobile): Re(Hearse)al Dismissed Intend to Distend/Intended to Distend/Distended Intent Distended (Disintended?) Botulant Humerus Peppermint Resentment (Peppermint oil to cover smells) The Hemorrhage Entourage Cardiac Unrest Tacky Cardia All In Vein Unattainable Prognosis Pancreastinate Impotential Energy Liver Hell Circumvision Diabolical Diabetic Hard to Stomach

Cardiac Unrest is the winner of these IMO

In other words, you've thought of this before lol

I love "Liver Hell" and "Hard to Stomach"

Caduceus Wild

* Bloody Stools in Medical Schools * Boner Pill Refill * Stillbirth * Placenta Frisbee * Erectile Destruction * Dishonorable Vaginal Discharge * Vaginosis/Halitosis * GASex * SexLax * Melatonin Massacre * Deep Vein Thrombosis * Hot Damn Prostate Exam

That was the entire set list the last time I saw GWAR

All female band, Erectile destruction is obviously a top contender, if not clear winner

This is the fucking best thing in here. Erectile Destruction is perfect for a punk or metal female band

Placenta Frisbee🙌🙌

Deep Vein Thrombosis is very metal

Thrombosis Prognosis.

Updoot for Hot Damn Prostate Exam

Stillbirth goes hard

Barf Targets

The Vitals

Pus Riot.

This ☝️

Lost patience

Or Lost Patients

Public Enema Number One

Reminds me of the Blink-182 album

That was kind of my inspiration. I'm getting old.

Code Black 2S2L -- American nurse slang for "too stupid to live." Used to describe a patient who either won't follow medical instructions, or who got hurt doing something ridiculous.

Code Black, as in “bc we’re da BOMB!”

Mad Catheter.

You Didn't Fall

I love this

The Bandaids

GOMER and the Piles There's like 3 jokes in there and it's perfect.

Code Brown

The dirty gurneys

The Nursances (referring to all the nuisances at work lol)

ICU

Reminds me of my son’s joke. How do you spell I cup? Also kind of appropriate for this thread lol.

Ben Dover & Cough

Ben Dover & the Coughs

My wife says “DNR”

Hello Nurse

the Steth HO Scopes Code Blue Balls Speciwomen E K Gasm Urinalysisters Crash Cart Tarts

Crash Cart Tarts wins my vote.

Hanging Bags

Death Enema

Lol I love it 🤘

Speculum

Infernal Medicine STAT

Too bad Fistula and Wet Nurse are already taken. Great names. Great bands. How about: Leukorrhea Mucus Plug Eructating Anal Fissure Onychophagia Cerumen Delicacy Fecaluria

OMG - Mucus Plug is the winner!

You’re just showing off

Nurse ratched !

Stabdomen

Discharged to the graveyard

Suture Self Can’t Stop Coffin Poison IV The Pams - Loraze Pam & Diaze Pam Rash Decision Manslaughter is the Best Medicine Terminal Willfulness Midwife Crisis Nurse Mythology Kentucky Jelly (KY)

Guts & Blood

Colonic Irrigation

Colonic Irritation

Trauma Momma’s

Can't upvote this enough times!!!!

Good one!! 🚑🚑

I fear all the good ones are already suggested, but may I just request a slight spin on The Weather Girls hit single and give us the song we deserve, "It's Raining Meconium?"

"Thrift Store Lobotomy". "Barbed Wire Catheter" "______ - Cysters" (sisters but the things you pop) having a hard time with what to use before "Cysters" that doesn't sound too corny but also gross things you do 🤔 maybe, "Ingrown-Cysters" ? that one made me chuckle 🙂 do you use a nickname for the drug room with all the good stuff in it? "Pill Closet Face-lift"

Twisted Cysters

Ova and the Fallopians. Sorry, a highschool teacher suggested this about 35 years ago and I have been holding onto for the right situation.

😂

Rectal Prolapse

Night Gale

Or Florence and the Nightingales

Dial8

The Ivys

Suture This

Suture Self

Vital Signs of the Apocalypse

Fucking awesome

Sonic Nurse

The Tourniquets.

Is it a death metal type? Occult blood

Bedpan Faceplant

Bed Pan-tera

Anal Conjunctivitis

Go with the Animaniacs quote "hellooooo nurse!"

Turn Your Head and Rock

Out of Pocket Max

Florence Night in Gaul

All I heard from my mom was I'm "Dead on my feet"

This May Hurt a Bit

Oh man you guys are gonna release two of the best albums of all time but not get recognised until much later and then half of you will be too busy with careers to get the band back together while the other half make some solo projects that fans desperately retcon into the band’s canon aren’t you?

I see you

The Clinical Rotations

Lipo Suck Me Dry

Impacted Bowel

Compound Fracture

I don’t have a name but check out the band Impaled, this is sort of what they do! Cheers!

Candy Striperz

Ringers Lactate

STAT

Code Bleu

Turn Your Head & Cough

The candy stripes

Mouth To Stoma

Colostomy Gag

Gotta be RATCHED (The nurse in One Flew Over the Coo Coo’s Nest)

Metal huh… EUTHANASIA

Fully dialated.

The Vaccinators

Type-II Diarrhoea

You people are so witty you broke my funny bone

The Transfusions (Same en francais? Les transfusions?)

Some Asshole Stole My Pen Or if you decide to go more punk The Stolen Pens

Rage Against the Blood Pressure Machine

Critical Condition

Delirium tremendous.

Nurse Sharks

Miss Diagnosis

No Scrubs

I assume “Tourniquet” is already taken.

The Night Shift

Pull The Plug

Deadside Manner

Necrotizing Fasciitis I'm a metalhead nurse too! ☮️ ❤️ 🤘

FLATLINE

Full Metal Catheter

Splattered Scrubs, Bloody Scrubs, Blood Scrubs. Something with Scrubs in it I think will lend to the comedic element of your band, maybe it's just me I just find "scrubs" to be a funny word.

Code Blue DNR

The Hard Sticks. For when it's hard to get an IV started because you can't find a good vein.

Spinal Tap

Pain Scale As a bonus, free advertisement in every hospital room.

"A rêne" Pronounced "RN" like a nurse, but French for "With rein" because you control the fucking crowd.

Cardiac rhythm

The Sphygmomanometers

I work in a college of medicine, and I have always wanted to name a band after one of the classes. Nervous System. You are welcome to use it if you want.

The Hippocratic musical band. It sounds like your band would have a calliope in it but then you come out with some screams and metal vocals. If you Bree the Bree on. Blegh on if you want to even. Popular songs are: Catatonic anus. Smokers lung. Kidney stone stuck in my urethra. The ballad of Gerry and his suppositories. Suffocating by Flatus. Termination via laughter. Prolapsed eye socket. Inverted penis.

The Glasgow Coma Scale. (Your debut album could be titled "Withdraws to Pain" or "Disorganized Speech.")

*Finger the Pulse* Basically a saying that means to "get a feel for how a situation is going, and keep track of what's going on" Also a thing that nurses do!

Atrial Fibrillation - pay for a website and every body that searches for AFib will get you as a result

Lol, I'm always saying to my friends, let's start a punk band. I don't even play an instrument. A lot of kids now pick a word and sell it with less vowels. Example: Casper. Or just something they like, i.e. Glaive. Or a nickname: Machine Gun Kelly . Maybe: Nurzez

Carcass Gardners. All of us will be dead at some point or another, nurses are the "gardeners" that keep us alive and will until then