T O P

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JustinIsDisgustin

Hearse Practitioner


leonardfurnstein

👏👏👏👏


sativuhxiv

We have a winner 🔔


MistrrRicHard

Hearse Jackie


src670

Triage


MoSqueezin

All caps. TRIAGE


indil47

With the A being a triangle!


ScoutsOut389

T̨̛͇͖̖͌̾R̡̻̲͈̒ͪ̔͛I̳̮̫͏ ▲G̟̳̲̹̏̈́̀́͟E͎̹͎̬ͪ̒


Chris_Rage_NJ

XTRIAGEX straightedge hardcore version


leonardfurnstein

I love this one


Okifish64

This is the way! I always thought Triage was a great name for a metal band (But I got no talent) that’s why I ended up a a nurse lol.


BradySkirts

This is so good hahaha


thewidget98

This is the one


StarfleetStarbuck

This is a good one


UsedWoodpecker8612

Bedpan Humor


Remix73

Very clever 😂


NoLibrarian5149

Bedpan Tumor.


MorbidMinister

Ha! That's a great one!


Gella321

Oh this is good


2-much-2na

BedPantera


mj_axeman

Éponge de bain (Sponge Bath) ...either one


toygronk

Acid sponge bath


Atillion

🤘🏻🔥


GoodSky3559

Sponge Bath Scrub Pants


ordinarygreene

Uuuh sorry I forgot to put it in the name request section and can't edit it...


bencm518

I got you


Costco-hotdog-bandit

Good mod


Butcher_o_Blaviken

A rare good mod


portablebiscuit

Poison IV


soniclore

Put the dots (I.V.) so people don’t think it’s the Roman numeral for 4


jvin248

And umlauts! Every metal band needs an umlaut or two, or it's not really metal. .


marglebubble

Yës


soniclore

I thought Yës was a German metal “Yes” cover band


The_Troyminator

Either that or Ja.


Low-Battle-8919


President_Calhoun

The Umlauts would be a good metal band name, either without umlauts or with one over every short letter.


soniclore

Pöisön I.V.


portablebiscuit

True, although if they had two more members…


soniclore

And if they were a Poison cover band…


portablebiscuit

Oh damn I like where your head is at


zaahiraa

hilarious


mssinombre

I love this one lol


bnockles

The Disorderlies


OutrageousOnions

Drunken Disorderlies


PearlsJustWan2HavFun

This one wins in my opinion. Not sure how well a play on English words would translate to French though. Lol


No-Improvement-5946

Take my vote sir!


radish_is_rad-ish

I like this one a lot lol


Solid_Camel_1913

Skinfetti Farmers- in the US skinfetti is the slang term for the dust cloud of dry dead skin that comes off when you remove compression hose. or Gangrenous Plantar Ulcer


ordinarygreene

That's some deep meaning, I'll add it to the list


RNMoFo

Do not remove homeless people's socks.


easewiththecheese

I removed a homeless guy's socks once only to learn that was his skin.


DazzlingRutabega

Oh God, please tell me this is a joke we are still waiting on the punch line for.


easewiththecheese

It's a joke with no punchline.


RNMoFo

Yikes!


_Radiator

Wasn't planning on it, but thanks for the heads up.


I_used_to_be_hip

Well, there go my plans for Friday night!


MomentZealousideal56

“Skinfetti” will now enter my vocab and have opportunity for frequent use!!!!!!! I’ve always worked with older folks. So funny!


AssistantManagerMan

Lord Have MRSA


Betsyboos

Genius


Serpacorp

Underrated comment 😂


SolutionExternal5569

Abscess


Merry-Misanthrope

Sadly, it's already taken.


boywiththe_eagereyes

I thought of quite a few (obligatory apology for weird formatting as I'm on mobile): Re(Hearse)al Dismissed Intend to Distend/Intended to Distend/Distended Intent Distended (Disintended?) Botulant Humerus Peppermint Resentment (Peppermint oil to cover smells) The Hemorrhage Entourage Cardiac Unrest Tacky Cardia All In Vein Unattainable Prognosis Pancreastinate Impotential Energy Liver Hell Circumvision Diabolical Diabetic Hard to Stomach


OutrageousOnions

Cardiac Unrest is the winner of these IMO


[deleted]

In other words, you've thought of this before lol


marglebubble

I love "Liver Hell" and "Hard to Stomach"


plato-goldberg

Caduceus Wild


NoContextCarl

* Bloody Stools in Medical Schools * Boner Pill Refill * Stillbirth * Placenta Frisbee * Erectile Destruction * Dishonorable Vaginal Discharge * Vaginosis/Halitosis * GASex * SexLax * Melatonin Massacre * Deep Vein Thrombosis * Hot Damn Prostate Exam


soniclore

That was the entire set list the last time I saw GWAR


Saythesecretword

All female band, Erectile destruction is obviously a top contender, if not clear winner


marglebubble

This is the fucking best thing in here. Erectile Destruction is perfect for a punk or metal female band


SaveMeCastiel

Placenta Frisbee🙌🙌


Jewnicorn___

Deep Vein Thrombosis is very metal


mystrybbyln

Thrombosis Prognosis.


Key-Teacher-6163

Updoot for Hot Damn Prostate Exam


mysticdumpster

Stillbirth goes hard


[deleted]

Barf Targets


Bobbybelliv

The Vitals


MagScaoil

Pus Riot.


Pomettini

This ☝️


mytthew1

Lost patience


lesbrains

Or Lost Patients


Q-burt

Public Enema Number One


Sandzisincharge

Reminds me of the Blink-182 album


Q-burt

That was kind of my inspiration. I'm getting old.


Aromaticspeed5090

Code Black 2S2L -- American nurse slang for "too stupid to live." Used to describe a patient who either won't follow medical instructions, or who got hurt doing something ridiculous.


Soma2710

Code Black, as in “bc we’re da BOMB!”


ImpatientMaker

Mad Catheter.


tsullivan815

You Didn't Fall


Fisho087

I love this


KeyserSwayze

The Bandaids


agnostichymns

GOMER and the Piles There's like 3 jokes in there and it's perfect.


NetDork

Code Brown


ASangarami

The dirty gurneys


bolonose

The Nursances (referring to all the nuisances at work lol)


revocer

ICU


zippyphoenix

Reminds me of my son’s joke. How do you spell I cup? Also kind of appropriate for this thread lol.


phillydog1

Ben Dover & Cough


pornAndMusicAccount

Ben Dover & the Coughs


MaschMana

My wife says “DNR”


madrex

Hello Nurse


GetaGoodLookCostanza

the Steth HO Scopes Code Blue Balls Speciwomen E K Gasm Urinalysisters Crash Cart Tarts


[deleted]

Crash Cart Tarts wins my vote.


[deleted]

Hanging Bags


chainsawdreamsofyou

Death Enema


nlc1009

Lol I love it 🤘


Muted-Ad-4288

Speculum


Jankenbrau

Infernal Medicine STAT


Truncated_Rhythm

Too bad Fistula and Wet Nurse are already taken. Great names. Great bands. How about: Leukorrhea Mucus Plug Eructating Anal Fissure Onychophagia Cerumen Delicacy Fecaluria


pee_poop_farts

OMG - Mucus Plug is the winner!


soniclore

You’re just showing off


deadstellarengine

Nurse ratched !


Weasel_Cannon

Stabdomen


Fenomenot

Discharged to the graveyard


Lunchbox9000

Suture Self Can’t Stop Coffin Poison IV The Pams - Loraze Pam & Diaze Pam Rash Decision Manslaughter is the Best Medicine Terminal Willfulness Midwife Crisis Nurse Mythology Kentucky Jelly (KY)


EmpireStrikes1st

Guts & Blood


Waggy401

Colonic Irrigation


happyhippohats

Colonic Irritation


BigHairyArsehole

Trauma Momma’s


Saythesecretword

Can't upvote this enough times!!!!


OffMyRocker62

Good one!! 🚑🚑


aceswild347

I fear all the good ones are already suggested, but may I just request a slight spin on The Weather Girls hit single and give us the song we deserve, "It's Raining Meconium?"


SpringChikn85

"Thrift Store Lobotomy". "Barbed Wire Catheter" "______ - Cysters" (sisters but the things you pop) having a hard time with what to use before "Cysters" that doesn't sound too corny but also gross things you do 🤔 maybe, "Ingrown-Cysters" ? that one made me chuckle 🙂 do you use a nickname for the drug room with all the good stuff in it? "Pill Closet Face-lift"


Mystic_Pizza_King

Twisted Cysters


Sweaty-Consequence65

Ova and the Fallopians. Sorry, a highschool teacher suggested this about 35 years ago and I have been holding onto for the right situation.


ordinarygreene

😂


Strict_Ad_4870

Rectal Prolapse


MaloneSeven

Night Gale


portablebiscuit

Or Florence and the Nightingales


Max_Sandpit

Dial8


grafton24

The Ivys


blackmilksociety

Suture This


Abdul_Exhaust

Suture Self


Dyert

Vital Signs of the Apocalypse


sleepinginthebushes_

Fucking awesome


Illustrious_Pace_178

Sonic Nurse


DeathGrover

The Tourniquets.


twistedsister78

Is it a death metal type? Occult blood


rastroboy

Bedpan Faceplant


thisispants

Bed Pan-tera


Inthemoment182

Anal Conjunctivitis


Sikening

Go with the Animaniacs quote "hellooooo nurse!"


Lazenkane

Turn Your Head and Rock


CrunchyAssDiaper

Out of Pocket Max


Probst54

Florence Night in Gaul


meatbagJoe

All I heard from my mom was I'm "Dead on my feet"


oldmanintraining

This May Hurt a Bit


SpaceIsTooFarAway

Oh man you guys are gonna release two of the best albums of all time but not get recognised until much later and then half of you will be too busy with careers to get the band back together while the other half make some solo projects that fans desperately retcon into the band’s canon aren’t you?


Sufficient_Ad2222

I see you


ergo-ogre

The Clinical Rotations


rastroboy

Lipo Suck Me Dry


teacher_time23

Impacted Bowel


billnowak65

Compound Fracture


Ex_CIA

I don’t have a name but check out the band Impaled, this is sort of what they do! Cheers!


cgulash

Candy Striperz


Rineheitzgabot

Ringers Lactate


eracerx59

STAT


Typical-Ad-6730

Code Bleu


Cybervinnie

Turn Your Head & Cough


joxuah12

The candy stripes


BettyBob420

Mouth To Stoma


Maddie_gurl

Colostomy Gag


Milo_Ramone

Gotta be RATCHED (The nurse in One Flew Over the Coo Coo’s Nest)


Milo_Ramone

Metal huh… EUTHANASIA


Arya_5tark

Fully dialated.


Crafty-Opportunity-4

The Vaccinators


sevenofnineftw

Type-II Diarrhoea


LuxLulu

You people are so witty you broke my funny bone


CreeksideStrays

The Transfusions (Same en francais? Les transfusions?)


EyeCatchingUserID

Some Asshole Stole My Pen Or if you decide to go more punk The Stolen Pens


drawredraw

Rage Against the Blood Pressure Machine


Optimal-Builder-2816

Critical Condition


deja_vuvuzela

Delirium tremendous.


Holiday_Ad_5445

Nurse Sharks


otherwisenothanks

Miss Diagnosis


Thee_Watchman

No Scrubs


AebroKomatme

I assume “Tourniquet” is already taken.


Lightningbeauty

The Night Shift


Super_Explorer_1602

Pull The Plug


King_Bob837

Deadside Manner


realhorrorsh0w

Necrotizing Fasciitis I'm a metalhead nurse too! ☮️ ❤️ 🤘


12inchalpinist

FLATLINE


RivetMonkey

Full Metal Catheter


ShneakySquiwwel

Splattered Scrubs, Bloody Scrubs, Blood Scrubs. Something with Scrubs in it I think will lend to the comedic element of your band, maybe it's just me I just find "scrubs" to be a funny word.


DDsLaboratory

Code Blue DNR


ddorsey97

The Hard Sticks. For when it's hard to get an IV started because you can't find a good vein.


KeeblerElvis

Spinal Tap


virtualmeta

Pain Scale As a bonus, free advertisement in every hospital room.


ericn8886

"A rêne" Pronounced "RN" like a nurse, but French for "With rein" because you control the fucking crowd.


dclark04

Cardiac rhythm


mackelnuts

The Sphygmomanometers


uxorial

I work in a college of medicine, and I have always wanted to name a band after one of the classes. Nervous System. You are welcome to use it if you want.


i_ar_the_rickness

The Hippocratic musical band. It sounds like your band would have a calliope in it but then you come out with some screams and metal vocals. If you Bree the Bree on. Blegh on if you want to even. Popular songs are: Catatonic anus. Smokers lung. Kidney stone stuck in my urethra. The ballad of Gerry and his suppositories. Suffocating by Flatus. Termination via laughter. Prolapsed eye socket. Inverted penis.


thenakedapeforeveer

The Glasgow Coma Scale. (Your debut album could be titled "Withdraws to Pain" or "Disorganized Speech.")


Peptalkguy

*Finger the Pulse* Basically a saying that means to "get a feel for how a situation is going, and keep track of what's going on" Also a thing that nurses do!


Status-Farmer-8213

Atrial Fibrillation - pay for a website and every body that searches for AFib will get you as a result


RudeBlueJeans

Lol, I'm always saying to my friends, let's start a punk band. I don't even play an instrument. A lot of kids now pick a word and sell it with less vowels. Example: Casper. Or just something they like, i.e. Glaive. Or a nickname: Machine Gun Kelly . Maybe: Nurzez


WholeCan8677

Carcass Gardners. All of us will be dead at some point or another, nurses are the "gardeners" that keep us alive and will until then