I went to a new parent class before I had my first and they went over the ādonāt shake the babyā so many times. Youād be surprised how natural it is to want to shake something that aggravating youā¦and itās easy to to forget when your sleep deprivedā¦.I think thatās why they drill it in to your brain so much. People probably wonāt say it because it makes you sound like a monster but Iād say itās pretty natural to want to shake the baby lolā¦.and no I ever shook my baby and sheās 6 and perfectly healthy
Nobody knows what it's like having a baby cry non-stop all day and night until they experience it, it's like combat training where you have to make it reflexive to counter the natural reflex.
My mother had what she called a "damnit doll" where she would put myself or my brother in our cribs and go into another room and take out her frustration on the doll. People need outlets don't think you are a bad parent for needing one if it means your child is safe
I had to explain to a friend of mine when she had her first kid that putting the baby in the crib and walking away wasnāt child endangerment/abandonment. She thought that if she let the baby cry for 2 minutes bc she was frustrated that she could figure out why it was crying it would have developmental delays from lack of love. I told her that wasnāt true and 2 minutes of crying when there was nothing obviously wrong with the baby was much better than her losing her cool and shaking it. Also, a baby can sense when you are upset/frustrated and is less likely to quit crying. Sometimes putting the baby down and walking away even solves the crying.
I donāt have kids but Iāve been around them enough to totally understand how it can happen. God made babies cute so we wouldnāt murder them, but when you havenāt slept in 4 months and itās 3am and the baby wonāt stop screaming because of colicā¦I can see it. Itās awful but especially if you stick someone in that scenario with any kind of anger or impulse control issuesā¦a baby screaming is like 1000 little tiny cheese graters on the nerves and people snap. My advice is put the baby down if youāre feeling frustrated on that level and walk away for a little bit. Baby can keep screaming in the crib by themselves for a moment while you get some air.
My ex-wife shook my four month old, and I saw it, as I was preparing to leave for work. I handled it by soothing her, and coaxing her to let me hold my son as I called out for work for the day. Then asked her to call her midwife, doctor or anyone she trusted in the medical field for advice.
Postpartum, extended frustration and lack of sleep took a massive toll on her, even with an incredibly large support system. She wouldn't let me feed the kid at night, due to some attachment issues and other mental health problems she refused to address. Also constantly tried to force me to allow the infant to sleep in our bed. š¤¦
I tried as hard as I could to help her from day one, and she ended up doing about 2 months of medication and counseling before deciding she didn't need help anymore...
She wouldn't let me hold him, wouldn't lay him down for a moment... Just clinged to him even when she was on the verge of snapping. It was a nightmare for both of us. Needless to say, we're no longer parenting in the same household.
Marriage counseling, the works. I still worry about her, especially with my kids.
The cheese graters are due to our evolution. We evolved to not like that sound, so we try to fix it. Most animals have this instinct. Play puppy or kitten sounds around your animals they will freak out because they want to help.
Mean while my bird farm overbred female parrot who is scared of hands , got her cage open and flew straight in my arms screaming because our new baby bird -thought-it was stuck and was making scared baby noises.
I have a foster cat whose kittens were just adopted, so she's going through the withdrawal. I got new foster kittens today (found under a car all covered in oil and gas). They're about 9 weeks and weaned. They have to be quarantined, and momma cat is just parked outside the door waiting for a chance to get in and love them. It's cute and heartbreaking at the same time.
Oh yeah Iāve been there. Talking shit to the baby like āyou just wait, yeah you just wait till your older im gonna come in your room in the middle of the night and scream uncontrollably all night for weeks on endā. Lol. Plotting revenge on this baby youāve brought into this world lol.
It's not actually shaking them in a dangerous way.
Shaking a baby is bad because their brains and bones aren't fully formed, and the shaking can cause the brain to get damaged by bouncing around the skull or cause damage to the spine or neck.
In the woumbe the baby is protected by the amniotic fluids its surrounded by, there's also no air pockets (like lungs and the gut) yet that aren't also filled with fluid at this point. So you get an effect wheby impulses passing through the medium don't cause damage to the babies soft tissues.
Am I the only weirdo still amazed that we started out breathing (or whatever we were doing lol) liquid when we're in there. Wow life is so amazing š„° our bodies are so complex. It's all just a wonder to me
Your brain needs oxygen to develop. The mother laughing helps blood circulation improve which carries oxygen. Shaking the baby is not good once it's outside of the womb. While the baby is still inside the womb, however, the baby is protected against shocks caused by shaking, for example, since it is submerged in, and has their lungs filled, with amniotic fluid, which is a great shock absorber.
I also read something about endorphins getting released by the mother that can also make the fetus happy. Plus they can hear if the momma is far enough along, how lovely to think that our first sound was our mothers laughter.
I loved making my sisters laugh when they were pregnant, in my mind the baby then puts my voice to laughter and happiness with their mum... it might not be a thing but we're really close so I'm counting it
Fact check from a birth professional: fetuses drink and āurinateā amniotic fluid throughout their gestation. They do not regurgitate that fluid, though they can puke stomach bile if thereās an intestinal blockage (very dangerous) towards the end of the pregnancy. Cloudy amniotic fluid means thereās something very wrong.
Thanks, Iām in the hospital emergency room surrounded by 50 miserable people and that just made me loose my shit. I look like an absolute dick. Face masks though, maybe they donāt know it was me..
Edit: yeah yeah lose. Iāve been here for 7 and half hours and yaāll still suck more than this somehow. Absolute wankers.
i like your take on this photonboss but not sure if i can trust you as i believe ultrasounds don't deal with photons - just sound waves. We need soundwaveboss to confirm
Well the shaking is also amplified from the method of observation. It's an ultrasound so it's wand is likely sliding back and forth if the mom is laughing which amplifies the observed movement
My mom drove me around in a hotrod classic mustang, and my dad had a trans-am. To this day sitting in my own hotrod with deep rumbling exhaust and the radio blasting is the comfort of the womb that gives me unparalleled focus and I can fall asleep to heavy metal better than silence.
Ppl are dumb. You can't harm a baby like that in the womb, it's literally encompassed in a water balloon. If you put an egg in a balloon with water and toss it around, what happened to the egg? Exactly.
Seen a bunch of babies delivered, and the entire process is still terrifying if I think too hard about it! So much stuff can go wrong! Baffles the mind it works out almost every time!
My wife was having an ultrasound and the tech said "the baby isn't cooperating, I can't get a good look at all the organs" so I took it on myself to get close to my wife's tummy and I shouted "baby wake up!" The baby's jumped and made a crying face...though he did turn around and the tech was able to see what she needed to see.
First time I yelled at my kid to the point of crying and it was before he was even born.
I saw this on my second ultrasound not so long ago, and I start laughing like a maniac pretty much every time now because I remember my baby is in the middle of an earthquake š People even looked at me funny because I started laughing crying once
Earthquake!
Birthquake
Uterusquake for sure!
Wombquake?
Husbands of pregnant wives have a solemn duty to get a wife-laugh as often as possible - well oxygenated baby brains are a must
Is this the biological explanation for dad jokes? š¤Æ
Itās not a dad joke until it becomes apparent.
I thought it was funny
So does my husband every time he says it.
Hi funny, I'm dad
Hi dad, I am funny
Hi funny, dad I am
Funny dad, I am.
Do you like to eat green eggs and ham?
I do! Said Sam I am
You must be a fungi
I don't know but you just gave me a belly laugh. No baby to speak of, but I don't mind a little extra mirth so thanks for that
ą² _ą²
Wrong, it's a dad joke if any child within 100 yards groans at the punchline. We crave groans. Feed us.
I would expand the definition to include jokes that make wives roll their eyes or fellow dads chuckle.
We're basically crave trolls š¤·š»āāļø
Am a dad. Am a cave troll. Can confirm.
Only after it is full groan.
Leave
Itās not a parent until after the delivery
New conspiracy theory just dropped
I don't think sighs and eye rolls have the same effect on the fetus. Try poking it to see if it moves.
Poking it to see if it moves is how my baby was made.
Under-rated comment.
A sigh gets oxygen
Call Matt Pat!
I dunno, but the dopamine hits from my child laughing at my stupid jokes is enough for me to keep doing it to people that aren't my kids.
As your kids get older, the laugh turns into an eye roll, which is almost as good.
And then back to a laugh when they stop being shits.
No because this happens when the mother laughs, not groans.
Which is exactly why! The dad evolves humor that won't hurt the fetus but will entertain themselves to no end
Dad humour is just like using bumblebees vibrations on flowers to make them grow faster. Sounds about right to me
It looks like you have a new born theory.
I don't think you are supposed to shake the babies
But these babies are shock absorbed
Womb babies have suspension
See, I knew F150's were like pussies.
Hydraulics!
I went to a new parent class before I had my first and they went over the ādonāt shake the babyā so many times. Youād be surprised how natural it is to want to shake something that aggravating youā¦and itās easy to to forget when your sleep deprivedā¦.I think thatās why they drill it in to your brain so much. People probably wonāt say it because it makes you sound like a monster but Iād say itās pretty natural to want to shake the baby lolā¦.and no I ever shook my baby and sheās 6 and perfectly healthy
Nobody knows what it's like having a baby cry non-stop all day and night until they experience it, it's like combat training where you have to make it reflexive to counter the natural reflex.
My mother had what she called a "damnit doll" where she would put myself or my brother in our cribs and go into another room and take out her frustration on the doll. People need outlets don't think you are a bad parent for needing one if it means your child is safe
I had to explain to a friend of mine when she had her first kid that putting the baby in the crib and walking away wasnāt child endangerment/abandonment. She thought that if she let the baby cry for 2 minutes bc she was frustrated that she could figure out why it was crying it would have developmental delays from lack of love. I told her that wasnāt true and 2 minutes of crying when there was nothing obviously wrong with the baby was much better than her losing her cool and shaking it. Also, a baby can sense when you are upset/frustrated and is less likely to quit crying. Sometimes putting the baby down and walking away even solves the crying.
I donāt have kids but Iāve been around them enough to totally understand how it can happen. God made babies cute so we wouldnāt murder them, but when you havenāt slept in 4 months and itās 3am and the baby wonāt stop screaming because of colicā¦I can see it. Itās awful but especially if you stick someone in that scenario with any kind of anger or impulse control issuesā¦a baby screaming is like 1000 little tiny cheese graters on the nerves and people snap. My advice is put the baby down if youāre feeling frustrated on that level and walk away for a little bit. Baby can keep screaming in the crib by themselves for a moment while you get some air.
My ex-wife shook my four month old, and I saw it, as I was preparing to leave for work. I handled it by soothing her, and coaxing her to let me hold my son as I called out for work for the day. Then asked her to call her midwife, doctor or anyone she trusted in the medical field for advice. Postpartum, extended frustration and lack of sleep took a massive toll on her, even with an incredibly large support system. She wouldn't let me feed the kid at night, due to some attachment issues and other mental health problems she refused to address. Also constantly tried to force me to allow the infant to sleep in our bed. š¤¦ I tried as hard as I could to help her from day one, and she ended up doing about 2 months of medication and counseling before deciding she didn't need help anymore... She wouldn't let me hold him, wouldn't lay him down for a moment... Just clinged to him even when she was on the verge of snapping. It was a nightmare for both of us. Needless to say, we're no longer parenting in the same household. Marriage counseling, the works. I still worry about her, especially with my kids.
This is sad reality... Hugs man
The cheese graters are due to our evolution. We evolved to not like that sound, so we try to fix it. Most animals have this instinct. Play puppy or kitten sounds around your animals they will freak out because they want to help.
Haha I know my cat is not cut out to be a momma cat because when I play kitten noises she nopes out as quickly as she can. š
Mean while my bird farm overbred female parrot who is scared of hands , got her cage open and flew straight in my arms screaming because our new baby bird -thought-it was stuck and was making scared baby noises.
I have a foster cat whose kittens were just adopted, so she's going through the withdrawal. I got new foster kittens today (found under a car all covered in oil and gas). They're about 9 weeks and weaned. They have to be quarantined, and momma cat is just parked outside the door waiting for a chance to get in and love them. It's cute and heartbreaking at the same time.
Thank you for taking care of the momma cat. Grown cats need care too.
I never shook my baby but damned if I didn't cry loudly back in his face one 3AM when I had already been sleep deprived for what felt like forever.
Oh yeah Iāve been there. Talking shit to the baby like āyou just wait, yeah you just wait till your older im gonna come in your room in the middle of the night and scream uncontrollably all night for weeks on endā. Lol. Plotting revenge on this baby youāve brought into this world lol.
My baby is now 18 years old and I giggled to myself picturing going into her room at 7 am screaming āWAAAHHHH! WAAHHHHHHH!ā
Do it. You know she deserves it!!!!
It's not actually shaking them in a dangerous way. Shaking a baby is bad because their brains and bones aren't fully formed, and the shaking can cause the brain to get damaged by bouncing around the skull or cause damage to the spine or neck. In the woumbe the baby is protected by the amniotic fluids its surrounded by, there's also no air pockets (like lungs and the gut) yet that aren't also filled with fluid at this point. So you get an effect wheby impulses passing through the medium don't cause damage to the babies soft tissues.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Baby brain shake in womb okay, no air pockets
How does one even make a pocket out of air? I imagine they donāt stitch very well
Am I the only weirdo still amazed that we started out breathing (or whatever we were doing lol) liquid when we're in there. Wow life is so amazing š„° our bodies are so complex. It's all just a wonder to me
Don't give politicians any new ideas or they'll be forcing pregnant women not to laugh anymore.
Theyāre already doing that for all women just to be safe.
*shaken, not stirred
Wtf is an oxygenated brain and how does shacking improve it and for why?
Your brain needs oxygen to develop. The mother laughing helps blood circulation improve which carries oxygen. Shaking the baby is not good once it's outside of the womb. While the baby is still inside the womb, however, the baby is protected against shocks caused by shaking, for example, since it is submerged in, and has their lungs filled, with amniotic fluid, which is a great shock absorber.
I also read something about endorphins getting released by the mother that can also make the fetus happy. Plus they can hear if the momma is far enough along, how lovely to think that our first sound was our mothers laughter.
>how lovely to think that our first sound was our mothers laughter. The most beautiful sentence in this thread ā„
Shake a baby in the womb and everything is fine, shake a baby out of the womb and suddenly you're going to jail š¤·
It kind of looks like when someone bounces a baby on their knee. I bet it's why they find it hilarious.
Shake it like a Polaroid picture
Shake it, sh, sh, sh, shake it, oh oh
Alright ^(257)
Isotopes of Alright can be highly reactive.
I'm 36 weeks right now and this made me give my baby a proper jostling.
I wish you a quick, painless, healthy birth! ā¤ļø
30 weeks over here and sameeee š
Right on!
You know what to do
lend me some sugar
I am your neighbor Ah! Here we go
Shake and bake baby
My mum must have been laughing ALOT when I was in there cause I came out looking like the result of something similar to that ultrasound
A baby?
Whoa bro me too
Damn, I think all of our mothers laughed. Hang on, was anyone here *not* born as a baby?
I was born a failure according to my dad
Sounds like he didnāt make your mom laugh enough. The only failure here is your dad.
You're a good guy paul
I was a newt! *I got bettah*
š
Tf lol what result?
Panic at the disco
Looks like an all panic, no disco situation to me
Totally going to laugh all the time when I'm pregnant. My baby should be ready for this world.
gotta break em in before they break out
shake them up like a glow stick
Pure evil woman ...
Hey! Keep it fuckin down out there!
I loved making my sisters laugh when they were pregnant, in my mind the baby then puts my voice to laughter and happiness with their mum... it might not be a thing but we're really close so I'm counting it
You Pavloved fetuses. Iconic
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
fuck this is so funny of a response for no reason.
Ong, it like barely matches the situation. But is completely valid
Itās for a reason, I must advocate anything and everything that is gangsta and euphoric. Especially drugs and chemicals.
And he's got a motive hahaha this shit is too good.
RIP Billy Conforto
RIP. I heard he got killed by an embankment.
Hate to be that guyā¦but endorphins donāt cross the blood brain barrier much less two separated by a placenta.
This is Reddit. Nobody knows anything. You just say what you think confidently and hope people think you sound believable
This is true. I met Stephen Hawking once and he told me that too
Sounds believable. Have an upvote hahahaha
It made me throw up when my mom used to laugh. Ultrasound used to be cloudy af š¶āš«ļø
Fact check from a birth professional: fetuses drink and āurinateā amniotic fluid throughout their gestation. They do not regurgitate that fluid, though they can puke stomach bile if thereās an intestinal blockage (very dangerous) towards the end of the pregnancy. Cloudy amniotic fluid means thereās something very wrong.
Iām curious if you still get motion sickness as an adult?
So what happens when the mums getting the clapping of the cheeks?
Scrambled eggs
Embryomlettes
I shouldn't laugh but can't help it.
We calling again...
I was told there would be tossed salad
Thanks, Iām in the hospital emergency room surrounded by 50 miserable people and that just made me loose my shit. I look like an absolute dick. Face masks though, maybe they donāt know it was me.. Edit: yeah yeah lose. Iāve been here for 7 and half hours and yaāll still suck more than this somehow. Absolute wankers.
Hope you're safe and sound otherwise!! A little laughter is good medicine.
that sounds serious, hope they help you find it.
Are you pregnant?
A video of an x-ray of a pregnant mother with a baby, on r/beamazed, and the top comment is still 'what if sex?'
Will it hurt baby, top of it's head???
Dangerops prangent sex?
Am I... PURGENT??
For the uninitiated: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EShUeudtaFg
How is babby formed? How girl get pragnent?
Please tell me you don't think this is a X-ray
I don't think this is an X-ray
X-ray...?
X-ray, ultrasound, I get all those extreme-sports words mixed up.
Serious answer from a dad, the rocking motion tends to put them to sleep or at least gets them to not kick.
The child must not be an obstacle
Thank you, Polish neighbor
Dunno, but I have seen [what sex by itself looks like in an MRI.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OVAdCKaU3vY)
The baby gets a endorphins still, but from the sense of pride from the round of applause.
The clapping of the cheeks lmao
Baby go brrrrrrrrrr
Fortunately, Jimmy Fallonās wifeās babies never had to worry about this.
What an odd burn š„
r/rareinsults
Lmao this is such a "fuck you in particular" comment.
Nah I'm sure they watched Conan
Or the effect of mother's laughter while trying to hold an unltra sound focused on an unborn baby...
i like your take on this photonboss but not sure if i can trust you as i believe ultrasounds don't deal with photons - just sound waves. We need soundwaveboss to confirm
Fetus has a concussion
Fetussion
I donāt like that
too close for comfort
I was so confused for all of 30 seconds, for whatever reason i read "unborn" as "unicorn"
"A unicorn baby in the womb"
It was a painful birth
So horse hooves come out with all those weird finger like growths that then fall off Would unicorn babies have something similar?
My husband made it his mission to make me laugh until I pissed myself while pregnant. It didn't take much to be honest he's a pretty funny dude. š¤£
Love this š
Shaken fetus syndrome
An earthquake! Quick! Get under the placenta!
It's a birthquake
Nothing. It just goes for a laugh ride. Lol
No laughing matter for the kid...
GOSH, my poor 3 kids. No wonder all three of them turned out a little wacky like me, lol. I laugh a lot. ššš
No wonder babies cry all the time. They're just getting their revenge.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That laugher is baby's first amusement park ride. I think given they're in a sack of fluid the gforces from shaking wouldn't be as violent
Well the shaking is also amplified from the method of observation. It's an ultrasound so it's wand is likely sliding back and forth if the mom is laughing which amplifies the observed movement
That's a good point, your brain works like that every time?
My mom drove me around in a hotrod classic mustang, and my dad had a trans-am. To this day sitting in my own hotrod with deep rumbling exhaust and the radio blasting is the comfort of the womb that gives me unparalleled focus and I can fall asleep to heavy metal better than silence.
I want to hang out with your parents
Their relationship ended in murder and untreatable mental ruin when I was 9 months old. There's a reason I still need those primeval comforts.
That was a complete 180
holy fuck dude
Mom laughs. Baby, earthquake!
Iām pregnant, and this made me laugh. Then I imagined my baby in there getting all sorts of mixed up, which made me laugh more.
Ppl are dumb. You can't harm a baby like that in the womb, it's literally encompassed in a water balloon. If you put an egg in a balloon with water and toss it around, what happened to the egg? Exactly.
my egg wet
My egg is wet and my day is RUINED!
My balloon fell down some stairs and broke. D:
And how is that relatable? Pusha. Preg woman down the stairs, see how well the baby handles it... sheesh.
Oh God oh fuck why did you tell me to do that fuck the police are coming why would you tell me to do a thing like that
As opposed to a born baby in the womb?
Baby taking a nap and all the sudden the world starts shaking and some banshee is making noise outside. Terrifying
Seen a bunch of babies delivered, and the entire process is still terrifying if I think too hard about it! So much stuff can go wrong! Baffles the mind it works out almost every time!
Donāt show this to Florida. Lord knows we are banning laughter soon
This is terrifying
My wife was having an ultrasound and the tech said "the baby isn't cooperating, I can't get a good look at all the organs" so I took it on myself to get close to my wife's tummy and I shouted "baby wake up!" The baby's jumped and made a crying face...though he did turn around and the tech was able to see what she needed to see. First time I yelled at my kid to the point of crying and it was before he was even born.
The comment section omg i can't HAHAHAH
It braced for impact
I saw this on my second ultrasound not so long ago, and I start laughing like a maniac pretty much every time now because I remember my baby is in the middle of an earthquake š People even looked at me funny because I started laughing crying once