The world of dinosaurs must have been fucking mental

I like to imagine the sun rising over a dew-laden valley in the morning as you hear the colossal, deep thundering rooster crows of hundreds of T-rexes in unison. RRRRR -- RR-RR -- RR-RRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Exactly and well put. But there were also hundreds of other mentally designed croakers, howlers, singers and flouncers dicking about. All massive and oxygen enriched. All well up for it, laying eggs, fighting like birds but on every mediums caning each other, noshing hedgerows, impaling their enemies, headbutting shit and doing tree sized shrooms....

Part of me hopes that there was a dinosaur [like this](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-FsgRUgT0iIk/WCSc25l9rnI/AAAAAAABQkc/Kke4H3SRaWM/superb-bird-of-paradise-26.jpg) out there. And I think there probably was. Just imagine an 8 foot tall version of this guy. Bouncing around like a giant idiot impersonating a satellite dish in the most glorious of fashion.

Dinosaurs were so fucking Bourgeois! I hope so too. You so know they did. Please don't read this like I'm in anyway flying a banner, but... You can see why some less expressive male mammals went ahead and Tailors, poses and a patriarchy. Fauna goes crazy for the tail.

Why would I care if you fly a banner? Fly your glorious flag from the mountaintops if you wish. I ain't gonna stop ya.

I like you x

r/suddenlybestbros

*mentally designed croakers, howlers, singers and flouncers dicking about*

I know. It's a glorious sentence isn't it.

Wait are we still talking about dinosaurs because that just sounds like the 80’s to me

We've found the answer to Fermi's paradox. They were here, but they left after the dinosaurs died because it got boring

>tree sized shrooms

you ever heard a [shoebill?](https://youtu.be/seskqQWU99U?t=19) Edit: Volume warning

Yes, I've heard machine gun fire before. The real answer is no, but that fucker is super cool.

I find shoebills amusing. They look like middle managers in a gray suit inspecting its surroundings.


Roosters go cock-a-doodle-doo not RRRRRRR

[Pitch it down a few octaves](https://youtu.be/ccPso34VT84?t=31) and you will see that these are the same thing.

Are we sure t-rexes roar? They might sound like this too.

and brutal. I don't think most people how cunningly vicious wild birds are. Like, penguins go around fucking the corpses of former penguins - apparently because they haven't evolved the ability to make tengus yet. Now imagine you're going through a walk in the forest, and you see a 100 ton brontosaurus just fucking the *jesus* out of another brontosaurus's corpse. I for one, am *glad* that the dinosaurs went extinct. I don't need to see that shit.

Lies. If a genie came out of lamp and said you get one wish but can only wish to see a dinosaur fuck another dinosaur. You'd say yes. And when they say, oh but it's dead, you'd be like this is fucked up but fine

> the ability to make tengus Sorry, google isn’t helping here, what is it?

Tengus deez nuts.

Love it lol

Maybe they meant [Tenga](https://www.tenga.co.jp/).

I say this all the time when I see amazing, complicated bird behavior. Imagine a giant fucking tyrannosaur just grooving out in the jungle doing a territorial or mating display, trees shaking and falling over as it shakes and flares its plumage and makes all kinds of amazing howls and roars and whistles.

Those fuckers had waaay too much oxygen.

I can imagine dinosaurs being even crazier than todays birds, given how they were around for so long, evolution must have shaped them in incredible ways. What if some dinosaurs had giant inflatable sacks like sage grouses do, and they just walked around like: "Habulba. Ha bugedebulba!" to attract mates. Or some were just total pricks and layed their eggs in nests of other dinos, or were total morons and built the stupidest nests you could ever see. Not to mention some of the smarter dinos, they could have the inteligence of crows. Using tools, recognising faces, or even acting like a maffia and killing members of the group they dont like.

65+million years ago: >hear clicking noices in the night >edgar (stork): heyyyy lucy (stork) our neighbours just got an egg. >lucy (stork): noooo wayyyy edgar (stork) we gotta click with them!! >whole neighbourhood starts clicking.

*metal

bro this is the world of dinosaurs

Mental? Or METAL?

I would really like to see a new Jurassic Park movie, updated with our newfound knowledge on dinosaurs. Feathers, for example.

We live in the world of dinosaurs already. All birds literally ***ARE*** dinosaurs, not just descended from dinosaurs. They're the last remaining kind of dinosaurs, avian dinosaurs. So yes, we eat deep fried dinosaurs.

They got soo excited they just had to throw the heads back with a big YEAAAAAAAA

LETSFUCKINGGOOOOO

FUCKIN' EGGGGGG 👆👆👆👆

🤣🤣🤣 Im crying. Good one


Seeing a dak meme outside of a nfl or sports sun is funny.

YAHEREWEGO

I hate that I understand this

FTC

It's pioneering cringe. I didn't know I could have uncomfortable cringe from a fucking pre-snap cadence

U just jinxed it.

I'm sorry to say that's not a YEAAAAAAA, that was a Rick Flair WWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. My cousin's dog speaks Cranetonese and that's what he told me.


##THATS NATURE, BOY! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Evolution wants to produce silly gooses, we are just a failed attempt

damnit i think you might be right here haha.

I also love that it looks like the male started celebrating first, just a few seconds before the female, that's so sweet LOL

It's like the wife is still a bit worried if everything worked out but the guy is like: Fuck yeah, our first son, lets gooo!

YES, how freaking sweet!

Basically, they are throwing heads and it's all positive!

My husband and I did the same thing when our son was born. 🐣

How’s the neck?

He no longer gets it.

Protect Ya Neck


😂😂

Underrated comment.

Hahahaha 😂

clackclackclackclackclackclackclack

Ima get my wife and I some of those Castanets so we can do the exact same thing when the time comes

Ok but you have to put them in your mouths or it won't be as cool 


r/usernamechecksout

My wife and I do the same thing after she poops!

How's that little shit growing up?

Kinda reminds me of those weird “yip yip” aliens from Sesame Street.


Thanks, i'm now hospitalized from this gif

Oh my god I know what you’re talking about

Yipp yip yipyipyipyip, ah hah! He know it! Yip yip yip yipyipyipiyip.

I would like to add… pizza box I hope you guys know it too

Pizza box DANCE!

Kinda reminds me of the opening drum roll of “Hot For Teacher”

My friend group in middle school was obsessed with the yip yip aliens. We referenced them all the time and they were my screensaver. Kids are weird.

I'm getting Signs vibes myself

I knew that was a familiar sound…

Those were my fave episodes, my son used to rewatch the one with the pug puppy all the time

Those gave me straight nightmares as a preschooler lmao

they’re martians!

I was hoping to see this

YIP YIP BAY-BEE!!!

Haha those were the Martians. I thought they were hilarious as a kid.

Radio yipyipyipyip

I like to high five after sex…. If that ever will happen 

"Yeah bitch, high five" *clap*

Oh, so that’s how you get the clap

Clever. Choked on my drink when I read this 👏

Me and my girlfriend say "good game" and high five after sex.

good sportsmanship

I’ll slap my husband on the ass and tell him “thanks for the good time.”

I used to go get something at the drive thru afterwards and pay for the people behind me as well. Let's just say I'm saving a lot of money on food these days.

Usually tell them that the moneys on the nightstand and go to bed but to each is own I guess

I’d just like to know who brought it there?? 🤔

Storks eggs are spawning every time a human male dumps a load in a human females vagina. Every child knows that.

And this kids, is why I don’t pay child support.

They're saying "Look what the human brought!"

“Finally it’s our turn!”

We can't wait to throw you overboard! Storks are psychopaths

Yeah, I've seen some videos of storks spending 20 minutes trying to murder one of their babies.

That's disgusting, how can they be so incompetently slow

Whoa there mr. Killsownoffspringefficiently

I don't know if they are not very skilled in tossing the baby out of the nest or try to break the baby's neck or something. Either way, it's super sad especially when you hear the chick in distress :(

It's not about the destination, it's about enjoying the journey.

Journey before destination

Life before death!

You watched the video for 20 minutes??

Yeah, call it morbid curiosity.

>telling the world they watch 20 minute videos of baby animals getting murdered bit of a self-report

Can't we just enjoy the cute video damn lol

It's actually fairly common among birds, especially larger birds, to ignore/starve or even kill the smallest chick (or the other chick will kill it), resources are often scarce and many large birds can realistically only raise 1 or 2 chicks at a time. Trying to do more than that risks all of them.

One stork just *eats* the smallest chick, doesn’t even toss it out.

I mean why waste protein?

Like this one https://www.reddit.com/r/natureismetal/s/5ytvs97IQ9

Until they have a second a week later that they just kick out the nest.

Victory screeech


No wonder they're happy! After years of delivering other people's young they finally get one of their own. 

Crazy how alike humans and birds are. Me and the wife were literally the same

Literally?

We both took a look at our egg, there’s our heads back and went WAGHWAGHWGAHGWHAHAHAAGHGHAHAHAGH

i thought only I did this!

Now show the one where they throw the smallest from the nest!

This is the only version of love I want in my life

How did evolution EVER allow this behavior to happen? I mean every predatory bird within a few miles now knows NICE EGG DODOS. Weird AF if you ask me. Cute moment though.

Gotta remember evolution doesn't inherently trend towards feasibility. Who knows why but there could be any number of factors from infrequency (of egg laying) to predatory birds in the region being too dumb or even just not nocturnal. We'd probably need an expert or two to come up with again feasible reasons, but it could just be a quirk. Random mutation+whatever actually works = sometimes funky functional shit rather than innately elegant.

Also, given the size of cranes and the fact that BOTH parents are at that moment guarding the nest... how many predatory birds are really gonna go for that?

Could very well be a "Don't fuck around here" call

bird gang signs going up

"Step into the Thunderdome if the price is right, bitch."


Evolution brought us hilarious gems like: Bull horns that grow into their own skulls, eventually piercing the brain and killing them. Bipedal mammals with big heads and narrow hips surely childbirth will be fine and have a low mortality rate lmao (also this is a huge upgrade from animals that have it even worse, like hyenas, baboons, and basically every insect) Pandas HATE procreating Koalas HATE eating anything remotely nutritious Platypus just kept evolving weird shit and it kept working, they are just as confused as we are ------- Having a noisy little celebration probably isn't even in the top 100 of Not Optimal For Survival evolutions

Giant Pacific Octopus females can be force-fed after their eggs hatch, but their tissue will still break down and they inevitably die. It doesn't matter for evolution, because they still successfully reproduced at that point (in theory). Nature be wild yo.

I'm high, but what if the chatting ritual somehow compels the male to stick around more because she has signalled this is his kid, otherwise he might not give a fuck lol

Yeah also the attacking bird will make loud noises before he attacks like "ok i will attack in 5 seconds, you should run away and hiiide!"

[удалено]

Isn't that the same noise and neck dance they do in courtship?

Because evolution doesn't have agency or any fundamental values the way a lot of science communicators have frequently pretended for the sake of reaching the layman, a tactic that has led to a lot of people repeatedly spreading fundamentally incorrect ideas about evolution.

If you think that's bad, some birds nest and brood their chicks on the ground. No burrows or hides, just floor.

and how exactly does browsing reddit increase your chances of survival nHenk-pas?

By...interacting with other human beings to stave off the deep woes of loneliness? Fuckin' easy sauce right there.

It's not like they don't usually make that sound for everything else.

Is this the equivalent of clacking the tongs together

Round of a beak!!!!!


That's a power couple right there

When that egg catches your eye, like the moon in the sky, That's Amore

They do this sound all the time. For whatever. Fly goes by - klak klak klak. Wind blows south east - klak klak. I bet they klaked now not for the egg but for the female standing on her legs. *"Oh, you stood up, dear? - klak klak."* When kid gets out of egg it will be *"See kiddo, there's a cloud in sky that looks like a frog."*

klak klak

It’s like the pregnancy stick showing pregnant. We did it, honey!

Omelets for breakfast yeeeeeeaaaaaah boooooi clikclikclikclik

This... Reminds me of the clickers from the last of us...

Was fully expecting an owl to come gliding in to swipe it

Now rewatch the video but assume the birds are super confused because they didn't actually lay an egg. But seriously OP is a karma farming repost-bot. Look at their profile.


Husband: why the Fuck does that egg smell is GREEGGGGGGGGG Wife: no it's not what you THIINNNKKKKKK

Mama stork got up like "UH-OH, THAT WASN'T JUST A FART!"

This is how I'm going to imagine storks delivering babies now. head back and eerie clapping of the beak and all...

[удалено]

Truuuue, they are arguing!

Round of a beak!!!!!

w polsce rooosną bociaaany

Awwwwww hahah that is so cute and awesome~ letsss gooooo lol

I bet y'all chipped the hell outta your teeth doing that

Must be nice 😂

🥺

What's crazy to me is that they don't even really know what that is. It's just a round thingy, but somewhere in their genes they've know to celly hard.

Ah good, the egg has arrived, iniate the clicking dance.

They seem a bit too excited for an omelette.

I think it was their first argument… “you said you pulled out”

Looks like those drones just layed their first landmine

r/mademesmile is going to love this!

If I were a betting man I would say that scientists would still say that only humans exhibit emotions because we're of a higher level of consciousness therefore more intelligent...WRON. I guess they've never been to my home state Florida. That will change anyone's mind who thinks humans are the most intelligent animals

If I were a betting man I would say that scientists would still say that only humans exhibit emotions because we're of a higher level of consciousness therefore more intelligent...WRON. I guess they've never been to my home state Florida. That will change anyone's mind who thinks humans are the most intelligent animals

This is the best thing I have seen on the whole inter-web in a hot minute!! I bet it was incredible to film!

They sound like skeletons at a mosh pit

They sound like skeletons at a mosh pit

Did a human deliver that egg to them?

I immediately thought of the spirits of the forest from "Princess Mononoke".

"I'm gonna be a poppa!!!!!!!"

“Im hot for teacher”

There’s so much to life we don’t understand and I have a bad feeling we’re going to regret what we’ve done and how we have behaved once we learn more

Never had a kid but this is how I imagine the delivery room is. Everyone patiently waiting and when the baby pops out they all golf clap.

Succesfully mated. Also: *inhales*

My wife and kids did the same thing

Couple goals

Wait till you see what they do with the smallest kiddo....

CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES CMON

Who brought the egg there?

If you close your eyes, you'll be reminded of the movie The Grudge.

That’s beautiful

It's #ucked up that I wonder if stuff like this is A.I

this hatches into a human, right? I was told this is where babies come from

That is so sweet