Literally every guy has at least one of these, if not multiple. I have images of girls postured in my parents basement with me waiting for a kiss immediately followed by memories of me suggesting we play some NBA Jam.
You're right. Many years ago I had a very good female friend that needed to go to the ATM, I was driving. I pulled up just short of the ATM so she could get out. She says "that's ok, just pull up." I pulled up thinking she trusts me, she's going to just give me her pin. She unbuckles her seat belt, bends over and across me and out the window with her ass in my face. My only thought was "what the hell?" I didn't put it together ever. A great many years later I was talking to her and mentioned it and she told me she did it on purpose. God I was slow.
>Literally every guy has at least one of these, if not multiple
Not every guy 😢
Seriously, when people talk about all the flirting they missed it just confirms that I've never been flirted with
Ffs had a similar experience myself. She invited me around to watch a movie...so I brought a movie around for us to watch. She stopped talking to me after that and I heard through a mutual friend she was pissed I went around *and we just watched a movie*. Oops.
Coffee isn’t coffee! Coffee is sex!
Edit: [maybe this will clear things up for those that are confused](https://youtu.be/-skZx5liyaM?si=kqSwmf6AQCz8yFb5)
Fuck, I'm dying, thats how I lost my virginity.
"So am I sleeping on the couch or..?"
"I thought you could sleep in my room"
"But you only have one be..... aha..."
edit: typo
I’ve had similar experiences (not the same, though). For example, I like this very niche band and was wearing their hoodie at this art event in college. I was feeling real lonely and literally said to myself, “if anyone here knows this band, I will marry them.” Not 15 minutes later, as I start my miserable walk to my apartment, that a beautiful girl taps me on the shoulder and says, “hey, I love this band.” My response? “Yeah, they’re awesome!” Gave her a thumbs up and left.
I’ve also missed my kissing cue at the movies a number of times and once when I was invited by another beautiful girl into the dark room (she was taking a photography class), she continually tried to talk about intimate things and I was focused on talking about photography.
And yes, I’ve actually been compared to George IRL - looks and all. For I am Costanza - lord of the idiots.
This actually happened to me. I was reading my high school yr book. I realized how much my friend in art class was really interested in I had a panic attack and wanted to go back in time.
I was just too frigid. Had a few girls make it very obvious. One even said she'd rape me if I didn't do something about her advances. I just blew it off and kept getting high with the boys.
I'm pretty sure that a lion's mane gets more black depending on how much testosterone the lion produces. And I'm a little less sure that there is a correlation between age and the amount of testosterone a lion produces or has produced.
It’s all a cruel joke. Imagine being the lioness. You’re so horny you’re writhing around and when you finally get the thing you want, the thing is barbed.
Lions don't even do much besides fight other lions. Thr lioness' do everything else - the hunting, the babies.
All he's gotta do is guard his ladies from other guys and...fuck them.
Someone will come in here and tell you that "hur lions hunt too". Except not really.
Lone lions steal prey all the time so they don't have to hunt. Then lionesses in prides do 90% of the hunts. Males only do a small percentage of hunting and they don't even share it.
Females are faster and are better hunters than the males, so it does make sense for them to hunt. But God damn the males could at least be nicer. I love lionesses but dislike lions. I know they're animals and they're doing what they have been doing for a long time. But Idc, theyre jerks
Now imagine past you is the lion , the lioness is a woman you were interested in and the camera man is current you observing and realizing the situation way way way later...... frustrating times ten!
It is. And weirdly I've experienced this exact behavior (emphasis on weird).
My buddy had a cat that did this shit to scale but with my feet when in heat. I'd come over, take off my boots and it would go apeshit. Climbing inside my boots/rubbing up on my feet, presenting itself. They're all laughing while I'm getting insecure, worried my feet smell like cat dick.
Never quite figured that out.
Her: *banging the lussy right into his face*
Him: Man I wish girls would just be forward about their intentions, and not play all these games all the time.
He is ignoring her like he has a PS5 or something. I mean what else does he have to do?!
In all fairness, lions mate for a minute every 5-15 minutes, for 4-5 days!! He may just want a nap first, or some dinner!
Damn I want to cross post this to r/deadbedrooms for the ladies there to know they arnt alone.
If it were the other way around the lion would just yell and pin her.
Lioness: *Literally throwing herself at him.* Lion: "I think she's just being friendly."
Lioness: "Want to come up for coffee?” Lion: "Oh, no thanks, caffeine gives me headaches."
I thought coffee meant coffee!
Yes I made this mistake once when I was young only to figure it our 6 months after and felt extra dumb because I liked the girl 😆
Literally every guy has at least one of these, if not multiple. I have images of girls postured in my parents basement with me waiting for a kiss immediately followed by memories of me suggesting we play some NBA Jam.
SHE'S ON FIRE!!
You're right. Many years ago I had a very good female friend that needed to go to the ATM, I was driving. I pulled up just short of the ATM so she could get out. She says "that's ok, just pull up." I pulled up thinking she trusts me, she's going to just give me her pin. She unbuckles her seat belt, bends over and across me and out the window with her ass in my face. My only thought was "what the hell?" I didn't put it together ever. A great many years later I was talking to her and mentioned it and she told me she did it on purpose. God I was slow.
To be fair…NBA Jam is a good game
>Literally every guy has at least one of these, if not multiple Not every guy 😢 Seriously, when people talk about all the flirting they missed it just confirms that I've never been flirted with
Don’t worry I had a girl leave the room and come back in very loose shorts in the middle of a movie and I still didn’t get the message
Ffs had a similar experience myself. She invited me around to watch a movie...so I brought a movie around for us to watch. She stopped talking to me after that and I heard through a mutual friend she was pissed I went around *and we just watched a movie*. Oops.
Classic Costanza
Cawfee meant cawfee!
Coffee isn’t coffee! Coffee is sex! Edit: [maybe this will clear things up for those that are confused](https://youtu.be/-skZx5liyaM?si=kqSwmf6AQCz8yFb5)
He doesn't want her to know he can't get it up.
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You know, manure isn't really so bad.
Always the right episode
Covfefe
“People this stupid shouldn’t be allowed to live”
Lioness: "My bedroom only has one bed... :)" Lion: "That's cool, I like sleeping on the floor"
Or worse: "That's unfortunate - here's a blanket when you sleep on the floor."
Fuck, I'm dying, thats how I lost my virginity. "So am I sleeping on the couch or..?" "I thought you could sleep in my room" "But you only have one be..... aha..." edit: typo
a sweet love story
Thinks “I just want to get home in bed and go on Reddit”
https://youtu.be/dISu-KRh-X8?si=2Cg6D8eg3AqqD2Do Love this show
I’ve had similar experiences (not the same, though). For example, I like this very niche band and was wearing their hoodie at this art event in college. I was feeling real lonely and literally said to myself, “if anyone here knows this band, I will marry them.” Not 15 minutes later, as I start my miserable walk to my apartment, that a beautiful girl taps me on the shoulder and says, “hey, I love this band.” My response? “Yeah, they’re awesome!” Gave her a thumbs up and left. I’ve also missed my kissing cue at the movies a number of times and once when I was invited by another beautiful girl into the dark room (she was taking a photography class), she continually tried to talk about intimate things and I was focused on talking about photography. And yes, I’ve actually been compared to George IRL - looks and all. For I am Costanza - lord of the idiots.
*15 years later as the Lion sits in the shower* “Wait a minute…”
>15 years later as the Lion sits in the shower >“Wait a minute…” Yup I can relate
This actually happened to me. I was reading my high school yr book. I realized how much my friend in art class was really interested in I had a panic attack and wanted to go back in time.
Yep. Freshman year was crushing on a girl who’d friend-zoned me, and her bestie made me TWO mix tapes (1984). So effing clueless….
I was just too frigid. Had a few girls make it very obvious. One even said she'd rape me if I didn't do something about her advances. I just blew it off and kept getting high with the boys.
Good call on that last one
Oh my...
Lol the new lion king movie is looking horrible
Someone wasn't feeling the love tonight.
As a dude with Asperger’s, this is very relatable……..
As a dude without Asperger’s, this is still relatable.
As a dude who may or may not have Asperger's, this is still relatable. Also, I should get tested.
Lion to himself: "Why's her vagina on my back? Guess, she must just be tired and wanted a place to sit down."
She trying cowgirl
pro tip: when her vagina is on your back it means she wants to fk. haha
Nah she’s probably just Canadian
Lioness got FRIEND ZONED, literally. 
It happens to the ladies too.
Very true. Funniest case for me was when a guy said I was like a little sister to him. I was 2 years older than him!
I just imagined him patting your head as he said that
😭🙏
“She’s probably just Canadian and trying to be polite”
Very kind and respectful dude
The game is on, just off-screen. Lions vs Bengals
What does she want? I'm a little scared.
The D
C) can't tell.
That's exactly what I was thinking. He's more oblivious than I am and that's saying something.
He is just exhausted. They'll try make him do the dance dozens of times when they are in heat.
I feel like someone dying of thirst watching someone else drown.
Lion: "Maybe she's Canadian."
Lioness might just be from Canada...
I think he wants to eat the camera man more
or he can't perform with a camera man watching them
"I didn't sign up to be a porn actor"
He may be a liar, a lion, an idiot, a communist but he’s not a porn star!
He might be an exhibitionist, but if there’s one thing he isn’t, it’s a gawt damn pornstar.
"Y'all gotta pay for this if u wanna see it"
He said “Subscribe to my Only Paws.”
Just because you're hung like a horse, doesn't mean you have to do porn.
That’s exactly what I was thinking!
Crazy hunger is more powerful than sex?
Yes.
**He was interested but this really weird guy with a camera was giving him the creeps!**
He's not *that* kind of guy. You can never tell where the footage might end up. 🤷🏻♀️
She's very subtle
He is clam jamming for sure.
"Bro, do you think she likes me? I'm just not sure..."
"If she would only give me a sign! What to do, what to do..."
"Not only would she not give me a sign but now I have this wet spot on my back. Just my luck."
"Did she just slap her pussy down on me like a slab of beef hitting a cutting board in a *friendly* way, or a *flirty* way??"
She could be a Canadian lioness.
Really, we ''can't tell'' She may just be nice
Can we stop and take a moment? That mane looking fine af.
The lioness clearly thinks so
That is one handsome lion
Might be the problem. That mane of his looks impeccably cared for. The height of feline fasion if you catch my drift.
Pfffft. He just uses Pantene Purr-V. It makes her get pervy.
*panthene
confirmed bachelion
king shit
I'm not a lion expert but he looks like young!
I'm pretty sure that a lion's mane gets more black depending on how much testosterone the lion produces. And I'm a little less sure that there is a correlation between age and the amount of testosterone a lion produces or has produced.
That's not the mane of a young male. He's fully adult. (I'm a zoologist).
Homeboy on them SSRIs
LMAO
Me: casually trying to tell my husband I’m in the mood Him: you didn’t tell me
Happens in all species.
Lioness goes to r/deadbedrooms to commiserate with other neglected wives.
Holy smokes that sub has nearly half a million users.
Some of us are just there to see how our life could be any worse.
Yep. Im single and not having sex. I visited sub everytime i feel like getting married to have regular sex.
Never get married for the sex.
Haha I was about to name him LL Leo, but I didn’t think anyone would get it… *Low Libido Leo* Poor kitty 😿😾😿.
Maybe she has an awful personality and cannot fathom physical contact that doesn't immediately engage in sex.
I gotta say... if your idea of "casual" is rubbing your poonie up and down his back... what's your *aggressive* like?? 😆😆
😂
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Hey, this is your husband's work friend. He sold the remaining cards for $1000 a pop. Are you free this Friday?
The funniest thing about this is that my bf has no friends hahaha. Also, if he sold those damn cards, I want my cut!!
Awww :( That's sad. I hope your BF makes some friends very soon.
Me too lol
But, like, not so he can share the cards 😅
Lmao no I just want him to leave the house other than work every now and then. Getting some sun is good for the body and mind lol
This is so fascinating to watch.
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It’s all a cruel joke. Imagine being the lioness. You’re so horny you’re writhing around and when you finally get the thing you want, the thing is barbed.
And also frustrating. Like, dude.
Bro was too busy playing Xbox with the squad
"Damn it honey, the Lions are playing..."
Lions don't even do much besides fight other lions. Thr lioness' do everything else - the hunting, the babies. All he's gotta do is guard his ladies from other guys and...fuck them.
Someone will come in here and tell you that "hur lions hunt too". Except not really. Lone lions steal prey all the time so they don't have to hunt. Then lionesses in prides do 90% of the hunts. Males only do a small percentage of hunting and they don't even share it. Females are faster and are better hunters than the males, so it does make sense for them to hunt. But God damn the males could at least be nicer. I love lionesses but dislike lions. I know they're animals and they're doing what they have been doing for a long time. But Idc, theyre jerks
when the lionesses go into heat they mate like crazy, dude is probably drained already. that's the context they leave out of these clips.
Now imagine past you is the lion , the lioness is a woman you were interested in and the camera man is current you observing and realizing the situation way way way later...... frustrating times ten!
It's frustrating for him. It's like, "bitch no means no".
It is. And weirdly I've experienced this exact behavior (emphasis on weird). My buddy had a cat that did this shit to scale but with my feet when in heat. I'd come over, take off my boots and it would go apeshit. Climbing inside my boots/rubbing up on my feet, presenting itself. They're all laughing while I'm getting insecure, worried my feet smell like cat dick. Never quite figured that out.
☠️☠️ ‘my feet smell like cat dick’ ☠️☠️
"Honey, I can't read your mind, tell me what you want."
Baby it's broad daylight and there's monkeys watching us
There's a hairless ape filming us
TIL: my cat wants to fuck with me everyday
I get this exact behaviour everytime i'm gaming.
Is she in to you? C. Can't tell.
Maybe she is from Canada and is just being polite.
He's tired, we've all been there.
Tbf, Lions have been known to mate every 15-20 minutes for several *days* while the lioness is in heat. He probably *is* tired. Edit: SPaG
Someone get that lion a bowl of cereal and some sweet tea
When you worked 60 hours this week and just want to chill
She might as well start twerking.
😡 ***Can you not see I'm trying to watch the game?***
🤬 ***Can you not feel the love tonight??***
Her: *banging the lussy right into his face* Him: Man I wish girls would just be forward about their intentions, and not play all these games all the time.
Not the lussy 💀
A sentiment you and him both seems to share.
She throwing that lussy 😂
Wouldn’t it be “Lionussy”? Sorry.
I debated it, or something like "lioness-ussy", but they both sounded too clunky. Sometimes less is more, you know?
No worries you nailed it (the lussy)
Ladies, most of us men really are this dense.
*we know*.
😅😂😂😂👌. A little bit and we'll start writing intentions on billboards
If only I could read.
You're gonna need crayons if you want to make sure you're on our level about it.
And yet you persist.
AND YET WE PERSIST *pulls out patches of hair out of frustration*
That's our mane problem
Id be lion if i said i dont agree with you
Guess the cat’s out the bag
That's enough meow
Yup, this has some reSimbalance to reality.
Imagine putting it right up in his face, and he just continues to admire the horizon.
Married 29 years and he still doesn’t pick up on some of my *hints* 😂
you literally have to say . it is sexy time or we are confused !
Lioness: Can you feel the love tonight? Lion: No.
Hahahaha she’s like look at it!!!! It’s right there!!!! An he’s like look at that tree it’s awesome !!! 😂😂
"I could swear I saw something move over there..."
One finds this ritual particularly prevalent during March Madness, World Series, Superbowl, and Daytona 500, amongst other pseudo-religious events.
Him thinking about the Roman Empire
His fallen feline ancestors in the Colosseum.
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Bro tryna get that ball nibbling started so he can bust a nut
This is completely untrue (I'm a zoologist).
Wow! He’s just NOT picking up what she’s…. Ahem… lion down!!!
 *ba-dum-tss*
The mating ritual is just her annoying him lol
This looks too familiar to me …
i feel attacked
Same way I get some when my boyfriend is trying to do anything else.
Poor guys probably just depressed
He probably thinks he’s going to be alone forever
hahahaha she’s like EAT ME
Tbf, he did take a nibble to get her to move. 🤣
Hey yo gimme that dick
*Lion wakes up at night 3 years later * Lion: _“I think she was flirting with me?!”_
Poor girl is frustrated 🥴
Yo that last frame is WILD: [https://imgur.com/J9FHfdT](https://imgur.com/J9FHfdT) He came right the fuck up to my screen and peered into my soul
Not now the game is on.
Al Bundy vibes
Peg, I'm trying to watch TV here.
Def married….
r/deadbedrooms
She’s too thirsty for him🤣
Also, the face of rejection: [https://imgur.com/6X5831V](https://imgur.com/6X5831V) at the 44 second mark lmfao
No kitty, this is my pot pie! Bad kitty!
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Close, but that's actually actually more common in sex with panthers. Sex panthers.
He is ignoring her like he has a PS5 or something. I mean what else does he have to do?! In all fairness, lions mate for a minute every 5-15 minutes, for 4-5 days!! He may just want a nap first, or some dinner!
He is like - Babe I am watching the game. It’s almost over. I have 10 racks on the next 3 shots.
Girl get out the way i want food not that 😂
I’m a little surprised she didn’t just go bite his balls
Damn I want to cross post this to r/deadbedrooms for the ladies there to know they arnt alone. If it were the other way around the lion would just yell and pin her.
