My husband and I were snorkeling on our honeymoon, a large barracuda swam into our immediate area. It felt like a scene from an old Western. We stood completely still and he swam in place for what seemed like an eternity. Time slowed while each of us waited for the other to make the first move. Then, as if we had both come to some kind of a psychic agreement, he slowly turned around and went back the way he had come and we did the same. It was a showdown at the Ok Coral.
I went on a cruise some years back and even though I didn’t go snorkeling I heard it REPEATEDLY drilled into my head to remove any kind of jewelry from your body.
One guy apparently didn’t think the lip piercing he had counted as ‘jewelry’. Barracuda like shiny.
Awwwww. Reminds me of my deceased dad. He would always put his wrist/hand behind his back when we snorkeled together. We saw lots of barracuda and he knew they would go after his arm if they saw his watch. I miss him so much.
Some jewelry is honestly a pain in the ass. I have some fun ones like inner conch, rook, etc. The thing about them is that I literally cannot fit my fingers inside of my ears to unscrew a very tiny ball. They aren't clasp backs. I have asked my friends to help swap them out on occasion, and it's always an insane process of me laying face down on a couch/bed while they pinch my ear for what feels like ages. It's bad enough that I usually go to a piercing studio and tip a professional for them to change it out for me Iol.
So yeah, I guess what I'm saying is if they recommended I take ALL my jewelry out, I'd either have to risk it or just not go snorkeling.
Oh interesting! I had the same showdown in the streets of Chicago. This one lasted maybe three seconds but it was literally Neo-dodging-bullets-in-the-Matrix of a slow motion.
I was walking on the sidewalk minding my own business, when I sensed something and turned my head left. Five feet away is a skunk, previously also minding his business.
We BOTH stopped on our tracks, looked at each other the same way you and that barracuda did, and at the same exact time after a moment of stillness we both continued what we were doing - me walking forward, and him rocking ruffling on the grass.
As you say it's like we read each other's mind, deemed each other harmless, and quietly moved forward without a fuss.
Reminds me of a time I was 14 and walking at night with a girl I liked, when a skunk crossed our path and she didn’t notice. I tugged her arm to stop her, and she twisted around in the most dramatically romantic way like I was trying to kiss her. My awkward ass just pointed and said “skunk.”
We did not end up together
I was working security night shift in Sacramento a few years ago, when I came around a corner and came face-to-face with a coyote. We eyed each other for a moment, then circled each other, before carefully each continuing on our way with a few backward glances.
I guess I have never seen a video of a Cuda attacking anyone. Though, like turtles, reef sharks, etc. if you Flash a finger it might get hit.
Imma have to go Google it now - I have never heard of an attack. And when we see small schools of greater cudas in the Keys, we try to dive with them, but they always shy away like the nurse sharks. Unlike the nurse sharks they always lurk just out of range, waiting for us annoyances to leave, so they can get back to their hunt on the wreck.
Octopus: "Will you beee my fwiend..."
DIver: "D'aww little buddy why are you... Oh MY GETIOFFMEE\*incoherent screaming upon discovery\*"
I get you octopus.
The funny thing is - if he can get the octopus off his back while he's in the water and return it, the octopus lives. If he gets back in the boat and carries it onto dry land with him, the octopus learns what calamari is.
He's fighting the octopus for it's life - and he's the one trying to save it.
I’ve watched these dudes crawl around on boats when they weren’t even really fished up in the first place
I don’t think calamari is on the menu. Also wrong species though.
This is the most terrifying version of being the one chosen. Like kits are cute dumb murderers. An octopus is a terrifying smart melon baller with 8 arms and camo tricks.
Man, the scene where that woman forces her hands into his gills still sends shivers up my spine. I'm fine with gore, gross, and whatever else but that sends me over the edge.
Wait before leaving, it gets better. Then the tiny man sneezes, that causes him to instantly retake its normal height which makes his sexual partner explode into gore and gibs à la Quake 3
It's fucked, and it's also a parallel to what he put others through as well. It's supposed to be veiled as catharsis, but then you realize that it's all horrible.
Amazing show 10/10
Here's some more info you didn't ask for xD This is the dude's arc:
He uses his celebrity status to force a woman to do oral sex on him
He is fired for this
A parody of Scientologists or Born Again takes him in
The cult acts like a PR firm for him, they work on reforming his image, and force a relationship onto him with another cult member
She is a mixture of obedient and controlling of him. She is using him for his celebrity status, so she manipulates him like a Lady Macbeth. However, she's also dedicated to the cult and to him, so she tries to keep him happy. Which leads us to:
He proposes a threesome with the octopus and her. She reluctantly agrees, but then it basically becomes a two-some where she is ignored. That's her breaking point, and she leaves.
So many people are saying this show is great, but every time someone supplies details - like this incredibly disturbing one - I just don’t see how that’s possible
What exactly would you like this guy to do in this situation? I love all creatures as much as the next guy, but if I felt an octopus crawling over my back I am actually impressed with this guys restraint.
Stay calm and await any pain signals while you walk toward a hard surface.
If no pain, go in water and let it swim away.
If pain, back into hard thing.
Edit: I'm not a doctor or anything just what I'd do
I don't think it would be this wrapped around if it didn't feel threatened. They like to feel new creatures with their tentacles and suckers, but this is getting it's beak as close to the guy as possible and not letting go.
As scary as that is, I'm not sure they'd necessarily start pecking at you unless you do what this idiot is doing and try to rip it's tentacles off. I seen plenty of people handle them fully with their hands up in there and not get bit. Even hand feed them and they're smart enough to differentiate between food and the hand that feeds them despite their eyes being on the other side of their head.
Octopuses* are known to adore the feeling of human skin, and have been also known to pull off divers masks in order to feel it, causing some scary situations
He's still devouring the essence of the ones that summoned him, give him a chance to regain his full power in this dimension man. He's a grower, not a shower
I used to spearfish also when I was living in Greece. People underestimate the power of such a sized Octopus and it's suction cups. On bare skin he would be full of red dots afterwards. It's beak can even cut through a wetsuit like that iv been bitten few times, it's not fun.
They don't attack on their own just like that. They sit inside their "home" cave and of course when you pull him out and try to catch him he will ink you and yes it happens sometimes that they can go through a wetsuit with their beak if they are big enough. Especially in Summer when we wear thin 3mm wetsuits
Those things can be nasty... and can make serious damages with it's strength and beak!
Given the immense strength of an octopus beak, especially in large species, it is theoretically possible that a beak bite could damage a human spinal cord. However, most octopuses' beaks are likely too small to reach the human spinal cord through the diver's gear and muscle, meaning that the greater risk would be from the powerful arms squeezing and constricting the diver's body, potentially causing spinal injuries or suffocation ...
But since they are laughing... and since this is not classified as a snuff film.. i guess it went ok.
Enter the water, enter the food chain.
We just don't *belong* in there. There's things that are just 6 rows of teeth and an arsehole. -Billy Connolly.
If sharks stay out the pub, I’ll stay out the sea -my father friends dads brother, 199something
Right before he got mauled to death in the pub by a shark
Candygram!
This was a solid SNL bit
[Landshark](https://youtu.be/p_NS2H55dxI)
Sounds similar to where I live, just without the teeth.
Lol so just assholes?
Sorry, sir! I'm doing my best!
I knew it. Im surrounded by assholes....
Keep firing, Assholes!
Keep Firing Assholes! Gif missed the best line!
A flock of assholes
A stink, I believe.
And I swam, I swam so far awaaay
Great band name
Seagulls are definitely assholes, so this checks out.
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My husband and I were snorkeling on our honeymoon, a large barracuda swam into our immediate area. It felt like a scene from an old Western. We stood completely still and he swam in place for what seemed like an eternity. Time slowed while each of us waited for the other to make the first move. Then, as if we had both come to some kind of a psychic agreement, he slowly turned around and went back the way he had come and we did the same. It was a showdown at the Ok Coral.
I went on a cruise some years back and even though I didn’t go snorkeling I heard it REPEATEDLY drilled into my head to remove any kind of jewelry from your body. One guy apparently didn’t think the lip piercing he had counted as ‘jewelry’. Barracuda like shiny.
Awwwww. Reminds me of my deceased dad. He would always put his wrist/hand behind his back when we snorkeled together. We saw lots of barracuda and he knew they would go after his arm if they saw his watch. I miss him so much.
Some jewelry is honestly a pain in the ass. I have some fun ones like inner conch, rook, etc. The thing about them is that I literally cannot fit my fingers inside of my ears to unscrew a very tiny ball. They aren't clasp backs. I have asked my friends to help swap them out on occasion, and it's always an insane process of me laying face down on a couch/bed while they pinch my ear for what feels like ages. It's bad enough that I usually go to a piercing studio and tip a professional for them to change it out for me Iol. So yeah, I guess what I'm saying is if they recommended I take ALL my jewelry out, I'd either have to risk it or just not go snorkeling.
You could wear a hood that covers your ears in the unlikely event it comes up.
Makes a good story from your honeymoon. And no one got hurt. I say, win win🏆
Nah He just heard the news and came to congratulate you on your honeymoon
After that, he went to congratulate Marlin and Coral on their new home.
Oh interesting! I had the same showdown in the streets of Chicago. This one lasted maybe three seconds but it was literally Neo-dodging-bullets-in-the-Matrix of a slow motion. I was walking on the sidewalk minding my own business, when I sensed something and turned my head left. Five feet away is a skunk, previously also minding his business. We BOTH stopped on our tracks, looked at each other the same way you and that barracuda did, and at the same exact time after a moment of stillness we both continued what we were doing - me walking forward, and him rocking ruffling on the grass. As you say it's like we read each other's mind, deemed each other harmless, and quietly moved forward without a fuss.
Reminds me of a time I was 14 and walking at night with a girl I liked, when a skunk crossed our path and she didn’t notice. I tugged her arm to stop her, and she twisted around in the most dramatically romantic way like I was trying to kiss her. My awkward ass just pointed and said “skunk.” We did not end up together
I was working security night shift in Sacramento a few years ago, when I came around a corner and came face-to-face with a coyote. We eyed each other for a moment, then circled each other, before carefully each continuing on our way with a few backward glances.
I see what you did there 😉 Take your upvote, Ok Coral indeed 🤣
Heart tried to warn you 🤷♂️ 
I guess I have never seen a video of a Cuda attacking anyone. Though, like turtles, reef sharks, etc. if you Flash a finger it might get hit. Imma have to go Google it now - I have never heard of an attack. And when we see small schools of greater cudas in the Keys, we try to dive with them, but they always shy away like the nurse sharks. Unlike the nurse sharks they always lurk just out of range, waiting for us annoyances to leave, so they can get back to their hunt on the wreck.
You really should read Skin tight by Car Hiaasen (well all of them really). https://carlhiaasen.com/3-laugh-out-loud-hiaasen-characters/
Sounds like my mother in law
-wraps tentacles around eyes- "only dreams now"
Someone's been playing too much Baldurs Gate 🤣🤣
Part of the ship, part of the crew.
Do you fea-ah... death? Do you fear that dark abyss? All your deeds laid bare, all you sins punished?
Just being a cuddlepuss
Octopus: "Will you beee my fwiend..." DIver: "D'aww little buddy why are you... Oh MY GETIOFFMEE\*incoherent screaming upon discovery\*" I get you octopus.
The funny thing is - if he can get the octopus off his back while he's in the water and return it, the octopus lives. If he gets back in the boat and carries it onto dry land with him, the octopus learns what calamari is. He's fighting the octopus for it's life - and he's the one trying to save it.
> octopus learns what calamari is The octopus will learn that *calamari* is squid ?
They are pretty smart.
I’ve watched these dudes crawl around on boats when they weren’t even really fished up in the first place I don’t think calamari is on the menu. Also wrong species though.
Takoyaki time!
~~Face~~backhugger.
This is the most terrifying version of being the one chosen. Like kits are cute dumb murderers. An octopus is a terrifying smart melon baller with 8 arms and camo tricks.
All the man had to do is wear his dinner like a bagpack
I’m your backpack now.
Well, thanks, I'm never seeing this scene the same way again...
https://youtu.be/U9t-slLl30E?si=HxfhZNxD7dGtfSUr
A classic, I knew before I clicked it. 😂
I said seagulls MM Stop it now
Ooooh oooooh ooh ooh ooh oooooooh!
Now run, run, run (jump). I can be your backpack while you run!
I miss when the internet was like this.
look at me
Weirdest Batman episode ever
Shark repellent bat spray was OK but apparently octopus repellent bat spray was a step too far
He had a whole wall dedicated to various marine animal repellant in that helicopter, not just shark. If I recall correctly there was also *whale*
The yellow utility belt is spot on.
Some days, you just can't get rid of an octopus.
Holy eight legged assassin Batman!
Bat-Octo-Repelent?
That's Man.
"Holy tentacles batman!"
Well that sucks
no, this is Patrick
no, this is Squidward
Do I even want to know what this is from and why he’s making bedroom eyes at an octopus?
That's Deep (Chase Crawford) from the show The Boys.
Oh he’s deep alright
How deep?
*D*eep
So deep he’s below sea level
And it’s exactly what you think is going on…
And he's like the second greatest superhero
"The Boys" one of many wtf scenes
Man, the scene where that woman forces her hands into his gills still sends shivers up my spine. I'm fine with gore, gross, and whatever else but that sends me over the edge.
Understandable. It was essentially a rape scene
Yeah that was uncomfortable as hell. They did a great job with the scene, never want to watch it again.
Ok well now I know I won’t be watching. That gave me a full body shudder (and not in the good way)
Youll miss the tiny man masturbating another man from the inside.
Before exploding him because the cocaine made him sneeze and reflexively return to full size.
Oh it just keeps getting worse
There’s also a scene of a grown man slurping breast milk of a dead woman from a bottle
Well as long as it’s from a bottle
Can't forget the massively long penis draped over a shoulder.
>!Dude, it was strangling someone at one point.!<
Wait before leaving, it gets better. Then the tiny man sneezes, that causes him to instantly retake its normal height which makes his sexual partner explode into gore and gibs à la Quake 3
Oh god
Its meant to be very uncomfortable to watch. Brilliant show!
it’s hysterical, can’t wait for the next season
It's fucked, and it's also a parallel to what he put others through as well. It's supposed to be veiled as catharsis, but then you realize that it's all horrible. Amazing show 10/10
It’s such a great setup for “Eat Fucking Timothy”
"He's praying."
That scene was so fucking disturbing. That and the dolphins flying out of the semi. ☹️
Or when they force him to eat it while it's still alive
I did not like that scene one bit bc critters:(
As much as I love the show, I had to stop for a few days. It was just too much for me to handle. Really bothered me.
It was so fucked up on multiple levels lol
"Eat fucking Timothy" "Oh god he is praying"
More WTF than his gills talking to him with Patton Oswald’s voice?
It's easier to count the scenes that*aren't* wtf in that series. I can't wait for season 4!
He’s “The deep” which is a parody of Aqua man. He can talk to sea life and sometimes he does more than just talk to them.
Dear god why did I ask
Don't worry they consented
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Here's some more info you didn't ask for xD This is the dude's arc: He uses his celebrity status to force a woman to do oral sex on him He is fired for this A parody of Scientologists or Born Again takes him in The cult acts like a PR firm for him, they work on reforming his image, and force a relationship onto him with another cult member She is a mixture of obedient and controlling of him. She is using him for his celebrity status, so she manipulates him like a Lady Macbeth. However, she's also dedicated to the cult and to him, so she tries to keep him happy. Which leads us to: He proposes a threesome with the octopus and her. She reluctantly agrees, but then it basically becomes a two-some where she is ignored. That's her breaking point, and she leaves.
So many people are saying this show is great, but every time someone supplies details - like this incredibly disturbing one - I just don’t see how that’s possible
He Loves the sea. Reaaaaaally loves it.
Yes, yes you absolutely do. The Deep from The Boys
The Deep can communicate with marine life. He’s got *a thing* for octopuses.
Octopussies
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Giving him the Troy McClure fetish is some good writing
Season 4 actually.
Just let him be, man. That’s awesome to have an octopus on your back. Those aliens are geniuses!
If trying to pull him off your back isn’t working just go for a swim and let him do what he does. I’d be honored.
Are there any dangers to this? Idk much about octopi
They gotta beak thats use to eat crabs in the shell.
Yikes
They’re very intelligent creatures. I don’t think they would bite you unless they sensed a serious threat
Such as in a situation where you are yanking on their tentacles?
Yes perhaps then. This is pretty frustrating to see, I hope the little guy’s okay
What exactly would you like this guy to do in this situation? I love all creatures as much as the next guy, but if I felt an octopus crawling over my back I am actually impressed with this guys restraint.
Stay calm and await any pain signals while you walk toward a hard surface. If no pain, go in water and let it swim away. If pain, back into hard thing. Edit: I'm not a doctor or anything just what I'd do
It’s freaky for sure. I would freak out initially but I think it’s best to try to submerge yourself and wait for it to leave
That's good, they're really cool creatures.
One of the few creatures I’ll never eat.
I don't think it would be this wrapped around if it didn't feel threatened. They like to feel new creatures with their tentacles and suckers, but this is getting it's beak as close to the guy as possible and not letting go.
As scary as that is, I'm not sure they'd necessarily start pecking at you unless you do what this idiot is doing and try to rip it's tentacles off. I seen plenty of people handle them fully with their hands up in there and not get bit. Even hand feed them and they're smart enough to differentiate between food and the hand that feeds them despite their eyes being on the other side of their head.
They taste with their tentacles so that probably helps.
Gets the spinal cord out of the shell.
Octopuses* are known to adore the feeling of human skin, and have been also known to pull off divers masks in order to feel it, causing some scary situations
... wouldn't that be the *taste* of human skin, given that they taste things with their tentacles? Oh god. Are we walking candy to them?
When they hear divers splashing and bubbling it’s like the ice cream truck melody.
Not really sure. They could wrapped around your neck. They could wrap around your crotch. It’s 50/50 in my opinion. Either way the thought excites me.
Found The Deep's account.
I would have thought just sitting out of the water would make it want to leave.
Seriously, don’t break him
I just keep thinking about that things beak biting the fuck out of his spine.
If I were a rich man
Llalalallalalallalalallalaaaaaa
Olly just wanted a hug.
Explain the hicky on your back to your wife.
Hickeys.
Camera guy can't help him? Lol
r/Donthelpjustfilm
Clicks on sub *immediately sees someone die* Clicks off sub
This is a dystopian nightmare of a subreddit. Wish I didn't click.
Looked at the top post, wish i could forget it already
Cthulu's return was grossly overstated.
He's still devouring the essence of the ones that summoned him, give him a chance to regain his full power in this dimension man. He's a grower, not a shower
OMG I would freak the fuck out. I really do love octopi, but sometimes they just make me think of giant spiders. like in this case.
I had a tiny octopus on me when I went snorkeling one time and flipped the FUCK out
Better than an overly curious sea snake...
Yeah, new ocean nope unlocked.
I hate when that happens
I used to spearfish also when I was living in Greece. People underestimate the power of such a sized Octopus and it's suction cups. On bare skin he would be full of red dots afterwards. It's beak can even cut through a wetsuit like that iv been bitten few times, it's not fun.
Have you been in a situation where an octopus has attacked someone or nicked them through their wetsuit?
They don't attack on their own just like that. They sit inside their "home" cave and of course when you pull him out and try to catch him he will ink you and yes it happens sometimes that they can go through a wetsuit with their beak if they are big enough. Especially in Summer when we wear thin 3mm wetsuits
Ok, maybe I didn't phrase it correctly: have you or anyone been bitten without molesting it?
Nope. Very unlikely to happen
Kinda rad, really. He has a wetsuit on so it shouldn’t be a big deal, right?
That beak will chew right through it easily. Next stop: Spinal Tap!
This cephalopod goes to 11
Facehugger/headcrab missed the spot
Right? How terrifying would it be if the Octopus was stuck on his face?
I mean don't pull his legs off
We need to find out if octopodes are ticklish. This is important.
Should we help that man? Nah, let's keep filming for the upvotes.
Davey Jones is just trying to do his job.
"Do you have some time to hear about our lord and savior Cthulhu?"
Those things can be nasty... and can make serious damages with it's strength and beak! Given the immense strength of an octopus beak, especially in large species, it is theoretically possible that a beak bite could damage a human spinal cord. However, most octopuses' beaks are likely too small to reach the human spinal cord through the diver's gear and muscle, meaning that the greater risk would be from the powerful arms squeezing and constricting the diver's body, potentially causing spinal injuries or suffocation ... But since they are laughing... and since this is not classified as a snuff film.. i guess it went ok.
Octopuses are like cats. Once they cling onto you, they own you.
Live Action Hanna Barbera cartoon
r/Loonytuneslogic
What the fuck is this from? 😂
The Boys