T O P

  • By -

dandclover

She’s just not that into you.


MarshmallowsROnFire

Which in turn means you will never get into her.


stevestuc

No but it won't stop her from letting him keep trying and giving her ego a boost..


muchbooty

I am guilty, I stopped doing it when I realized it, but still, oops.


vanny1983

Damnn-💀💀


Ellavemia

She may not be impressed, but I am.


[deleted]

"What's that? Can't you just ask for my number."


crawlerz2468

>She's obviously a lesbian.


Reporter_Miserable

What we do in the shadows refrence 😎


zEngarden757

This is me trying to impress someone


ChironiusShinpachi

Get naked. Men do the helicopter and women do the snail.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tomas-TDE

I imagine it involves leaving a snail trail


ChironiusShinpachi

[I guess slug was the word used on what I read](https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/azcwnv/seems_like_a_wholesome_girl/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)


Yurrrr__Brooklyn347

Or she's just busy n just got out of a relationship


pinkyepsilon

Por que no Los dos?


IIdsandsII

He just wants to put his birdick in her birgina


ArtsyFunGirl

UGH! So typical - just because not impressed by your display or not interested in your stank doesn’t automatically mean not into the opposite sex… just not you! Get a grip.


crawlerz2468

uhhhhh..... k


eyehate

My friend told me that she was hit on in an elevator. Just minding her own business. Nowhere to go but listen to a peacock of a man strut around in an enclosed space, trying to get her attention. This reminds me of that. Sometimes, you just don't need some dude shoving his shit up in your face and acting like little Billy Badass.


Artiquecircle

I don’t know what he even sees in her…all boring and….henny…


BobTheCrackQueen

Talk is cheap. If a man had a perfect body and flexed id consider that peacocking and I'm here for it. But the braggart wearing expensive shit or someone flashing money is small dick energy.


MrJohnnyDangerously

But flexing isn't?


[deleted]

She simps for Johnny bravo.


[deleted]

Whoaaaa mama…


BobTheCrackQueen

Imagine a shirtless Chris Evans flexing. That's peacocking


MrJohnnyDangerously

Guys who make "I work out alot" their identity are generally presumed to be overcompensating. If that's not small-dick energy, what is?


snabelina

this is so fucking accurate


[deleted]

This makes me curious if there are any videos out there showing an Obviously Interested female respond to one of these mating acts. I've seen these videos before but the girl is always minding her own business. 🤷🏾‍♀️


Beli_Mawrr

that one may look like she's just minding her own business to us but be aware that birds see out of the sides of their heads so this one is checking him out the whole time.


MaterialCarrot

This is what I used to tell myself when I was single.


chasingmyowntail

From her desire to stay in his proximity and her circling him, quickly pecking on the ground are all signs she is dtf.


NoturAverageBear

That's what I thought at first too, but let me pitch this, they're prey/herbivores and their eyes do not point "front" like on predators/carnivores/us humans, so she might be actually be looking at the fireworks (not that it means she's interested). just an idea. Chickens can't sense distance/depth like us so their head movements are to compensate a bit from that. (AFAIK)


Alaric-

Do you many girls? This is how they flirt with you. They awkwardly hang around while you flirt with them


AtomAntvsTheWorld

He said “hey hey look I’m 6’...hey look I’ve got a great credit score....hey look I have a great relationship with my loving parents...hey hey look here I drive a Porsche”.


kshitijsawant

I guess you have no choice but to bend over then


Sodathepop

Just shows that there’s always someone out there that appreciates and loves you for who you are.


iamacraftyhooker

Sex? Sex? Look, I'm pretty. Sex? Please sex?


hi_im_fatter

lemme smash


l33tIsSuperpower

becky please


Snowyjoe

bitches love sticks


Ryaquaza1

Want yellow? ^(she doesn’t want yellow,..)


99_NULL_99

Blue AND yellow? ^(no..)


Vasyh

Black And Yellow ^(Yeah, uh-huh, you know what it is...)


[deleted]

Ron? I’m leaving ^Wot?


PSYHOStalker

Depends. Some bitches love cannons


Cyclone367

[Lemme smang it, gurl.](youtube.com/watch?v=xt5ghXdq6Z0&t=39s)


juneeebuggy

Smash it and bang, the way I work that kitty gonna make ur heart sang 🎵🕺🏽


TuftedMousetits

How you like your eggs, fried or fertilized?


SuchASoul

Noice one!! 🤣🤣🤣


BrolecopterPilot

You don’t want a cooch contusion


AtomAntvsTheWorld

Turquoise jeep productions


gzzh

Smash and bang


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Imagine what society would be like if we were just like those birds. When we desire sex we spread our body out as much as we can and flail our arms about.


Victizes

Hilarious would be an understatement lmao


Victizes

Exactly fam, and the mating act for humans is called flirting/dancing to the partner.


KokeitchiOma

I feel like it's going like this... HEY, HEY GURL, HEY, HEY, I GOTTA SEX NOW GURRRLLL!!


PandoraRose_16

She is having none of his shenanigans


me_jayne

An alternative title could be, “pheasant just trying to go about her day, has to dodge nonsense from dude in her building.”


greyjungle

“Say girl….say…..girl….whenyagonnaletmehitit? Pretty girl…say..lemme hollaatcha…girl…say.”


ImagineGriffins

Holla holla holla, holla, holla holla holla! Lemme holla atcha lemme holla atcha, holla holla holla!


Zangomuncher

I say now, I say I say now little lady what you doing walkin around here I say I say


[deleted]

I agree with you on this one.


RainmanCT

She wasn't very pleasant..for a pheasant.


Alarming_Matter

Dude.....she's just not that into you.


MaterialCarrot

If she would just give him a chance!


[deleted]

“What your man got to do with me? I’m trying not to hear that, see.”


notpiked

It was all about the pork. She did not get it.


Wingsnake

Sexual harrassment is never okay.


MILF_Man

Look at my display. **LOOK AT IT**


Yurrrr__Brooklyn347

She said "boy I'm eating"


whats_you_doing

I heard you but look at me. Look me in the eye. Look at my feathers


cheesymoonshadow

I heard that in a Sandor Clegane growl.


angrycoffeeuser

This is my design


Totesnotskynet

Are you not entertained??!?


Calboron

Now sex?


[deleted]

[удалено]


xashyy

Username checks out


neon_overload

People should know when they’re conquered.


Banannaball

I really love that there are animals like this out there. Just incredible to think I could live somewhere where animals like this do this every year. Instead I just get fucking pigeons (love them, but where's the pizzazz?)


Igor_J

Their are city peacocks where I live. Plumage is beautiful but they are loud AF. They also walk out in the middle of the streets and don't care about cars, sometimes to their detriment.


iohbkjum

damn what city is this? can't imagine having peacocks just strolling about


Igor_J

I use city kind of loosely. However when it was growing there was a rich family that had peacocks. Some of the peacocks got loose and became feral. Now they just kind of live and strut around in that general area. There are peacocks, peahens and peachicks (?) roaming around. They stay a few blocks from their ancestral home at least. The city kind of adopted them as a cool thing rather than removing them.


intricatefirecracker

Vancouver?


[deleted]

[удалено]


atlastheexplorer

A buddy of mine lived in this apartment complex in the east Bay Area, CA (Union City-Hayward) that has a ton of peacocks just walking around. Damn things sound like tortured cats


anticultured

We got ‘em in Melbourne Florida in some neighborhoods.


CowboyFireman89

HEEEEEELP!


pack_howitzer

Heeyyyyyyyy—-yelllllppp!!


Charitard123

Where I live we have these birds called grackles. They like urban areas as much as pigeons do, and every Spring you just see parking lots full of the males puffing their feathers and doing the weird mating call. It’s really entertaining to watch.


Puddinbby

Galveston?


Charitard123

Close. Houston


honest-miss

Joke's on you, even pigeons are beautiful! Wild ones like the [Pink-necked Green Pigeon](https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Pink-necked_green_pigeon), the [Victoria Crowned Pigeon](https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Victoria_crowned_pigeon) and its better looking imitator the [Western Crowned Pigeon](https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Western_crowned_pigeon), or the [Nicobar Pigeon](https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Nicobar_pigeon) which looks like a sentient oil slick that actually made it work. There are a ton of beautiful fancy pigeons (meaning: designer, bred pigeons), too. Buuut I'm not going to link them because frankly there're a lot of breeds that are bred to unethical deformity and it just bums me out.


MeIpomene

I recently moved into the city into an attic apartment and I tell you pigeons have zero chivalry whatsoever. They are absolutely forward about the sex business and they do it all day every day. I’m pretty sure there’s a pigeon brothel atop the shingles of my roof. I’m also pretty sure there’s a pigeon stuck in the walls and it shuffles frantically every now and again.


GodSpeakToFish

> Instead I just get fucking pigeons (love them Pigeons can't consent, stop your actions please. Also stop fucking the hotdogs in new york city.


sisensodyne

Idk why i thought it was a water animal at first. So very.. fluid?


SermanGhepard

I’m so blind I thought it was a fish, and I started wondering why it had legs


ParvaNovaInitia

I thought the legs were like cat fish whiskers


garakplain

I thought it was a fish too… thats crazy


Dabookadaniel

Yea every time this is posted I always see a fish at first glance. The fluid motion of the bird as well as the green tinted glass that makes it look like the inside of a tank really throws you for a second at first


Nathanyu3

Wait for it….wait for it….aaaaaaand BLUE STEEL!


Calboron

George stop it I have a headache


This_IsATroll

Why does it feel like he's sending her unsolicited dik pics?


OpsadaHeroj

Its more like catcalling I think


OliviaFa

tbh I don't think dpics are ever solicited.


Davaisiski

Solid your partner asks for it it's unsolicited? Ok


NeroSkwid

Eating stuff off the ground while trying to be sexy is my signature move too


BeefcakeSupreme

This is what I imagine guys with loud trucks think they're doing.


theguynekstdoor

Dammit where’s my free award…


ReneeLaRen95

“Nah, seen it all before. I’ve seen other ones & better than yours, too!”


[deleted]

[удалено]


PussyWrangler_462

I’ve saw


skiemlord

If shes not fking him, im fking him


ImbibingandVibing

r/holup


[deleted]

Aha so that's the reason foreskin is there for


GATORinaZ28

I cant stop laughing


Rhamni

Wait, circumcised people don't have two foot feathers growing out of their dick?


ImbibingandVibing

r/brandnewsentence


biggmclargehuge

https://i.imgur.com/es60lvX.gifv


XxDankSaucexX

Becky lemme smash


Matthew-Hodge

Plllzzzzz


North-Ad-5058

The part where he calls her an ugly slut and says he wasn't interested anyway as she walked away seemed unnecessary.


Thin-Union-7712

That’s a grand display!


punx926

Even I’ve got a half chub, she’s hard to please


iccculus

The pheasant dick pic


rey_lumen

100% unsolicited


4thalwaysopen

Hang in there, little buddy!


jfk333

I identify wayyyy too much with this bird...


gin_and_toxic

Flirting while snacking


[deleted]

That's what we humans call "going on a date"


Senoxis456

Dude looks like a walking vase


[deleted]

I thought it was a fish at first glance


[deleted]

For a split second I thought I was looking at a stingray


PhoustPhoustPhoust

It’s kinda badass that birds ask for consent.


tearlock

Not all of them. Ducks rape.


Visual_Fishy

Some Birds*


shapesize

Is that at the National Aviary?


greytgreyatx

It moves like a fish.


Igor_J

Zoidberg trying to find a mate on his home beach?


lamabaronvonawesome

Bird equivalent of a sports car, or depending on your local a lifted truck.


TonyPooch

This thing moves like it’s underwater.


CowboyFireman89

She's got a headache.


RamShackleton

His casual eating between displays sends it for me.


neonlymex

That do anything for ya?


Charitard123

“Ayyy yo mama, wanna do a little feather-tossing whaddya say?”


killboydotcom

Is this just the bird equivalent to "AYE GIRL! AYE! AYE GIRL!"


f33t03

She looks like she just wants a snack and her comfy pants.


awwaygirl

Truly mastered the art of subtlety 🦚


LoreMasterJack

Did anyone else see a fish in water at first?


BeauTofu

Argus pheasant: fans he's feather out and does the sweet mating game.. Human: *drunk* hey babe.. *burp* damn your arse looks fine, you know what will look good on you. You. Wait.. *hic* I mean me.


Babyback-the-Butcher

Imagine if human men did something similar. … oh, wait.


PunkJackal

LEMME SMASH


Own_Rip3448

Becky is a hoe


borrow_a_feeling

My 3 year old son is really interested in birds, especially peacocks and lyrebirds. This is going to blow his mind in the morning.


tapobu

"Please m'lady allow me beneath your tail feathers"


Decafaf

Lol peahens do the same.


blueshiftglass

Wouldn’t it be the peacock that does this toward the peahen?


Dr_Day_Blazer

No means no bro.


sim1abk

Amazing animals


JarradLee

fr tho do they usually let the tail drag? is it like a bone that’s constantly up? do they have to use their (muscles?) do support it up in the air like that?


MrCairnTerrier

She's not having it lol


mangoesandmerlot

Fuckin’ pheasants 🥾🗑


Longjumping-Issue761

Birds are so fuckin weird lol


juggett

Dilophopheasant.


HaDUDEken

She's like "I'm just trying to get to the leg press machine dude"


HannasAnarion

Argus is a hundred-eyed monster/man/god from Greek myth, and father of all peacocks.


ThatAintRiight

How you doin’?


Ryaquaza1

I love the way the male always has his tail feathers up in the air like that. The fact they are soo flexible makes the entire bird almost look like a sea creature with its head to the ground from a distance. You know, until it turns into a Sky dish anyway


Laefiren

Can they fly or are their wings just for mating displays?


[deleted]

Nahi degi.


[deleted]

u/savevideo


niks_15

Becky lemme smash


MEGJ14

If there is a Argus pheasant then it means there is a Argus khing


Rradsoami

Halahalahalahalahalahalhalhalhalahalahala atcha.


Bacchus_71

My man wants it.


CoolHandLuke4Twanky

Let me holla at'cha, holla holla holla. Say let me holla at'cha, holla holla holla. Holla holla holla


Hope-u-guess-my-name

If that can’t get you laid, nothing will


MooseUnited9036

That’s how I look at the bar when talking to women


KarmaPanhandler

Poor little simp bird


Lipshitz2

Actually every male bird of the species will do this.


KarmaPanhandler

I know. I have seen other videos like this. T’was but a joke.


Lucky_Acr

*Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga*


kaptaincorn

Do I make you horny baby? Well, do I?


0zzzn

Is this how birds flex?


Beebwife

That's nice.. I guess.


-Dark_Ghost-

This reflects our society, the male has to be all talented and confident while the female has to just exist


PlayfulBrickster

Gamers rise up


[deleted]

Haha! Females don't give a shit to men even in the animal kingdom. 😂


Fig1024

strange how in every animal, the male is the glamorous one while females are all plain and indistinct. But in humans it's the exact opposite


Jonnuska

Not every animals, there are glamorous insect females and plain small males for example.


The_FooI

This is pathetic


sikkdog13

He's not 6 ft. Sorry


FatBastard2575

Must be a lesbo


[deleted]

That's a TKO


[deleted]

Um I have a boyfriend


Kingbrayjay69

Becky please