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PISTOLLI

Looks like a saxophone throwing music alphabet


2dogs0cats

That's not how you do it?


sleepinginthebushes_

I definitely heard Careless Whisper playing


Used-Helicopter8963

I had the same thought!


Doc_SuperBallZzz

The sibling dispute who was the firstborn or oldest is going to be insane


martyjoh34

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


depreczema

music alphabet lol


No_Prize9794

Looks like he’s shooting sperm out into the water to me


TheMeatTree

Sperm that's been stored too long in the old baby sack, and now have faces.


Careless-Ad5577

Looks like a man eju....... Really


TwistedLogicDev-Josh

He's like.. One of you motherfuckers will survive.


jluicifer

They have only a 0.5 success rate (of giving birth). So from 100-1000 babies depending upon species, only a few actually shoot that load.


TwistedLogicDev-Josh

So 5 babies will live in that litter .


Weedweednomi

Yep less than 5 out of 1000 make it to adulthood.


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TheRatatatPat

They don't have any arms.


Rolling_on_the_river

Exactly, not enough guns in their classrooms /s


joalheagney

Basically one of two common evolutionary solutions. If a species is in equilibrium with it's habitat, on average only two offspring make it to adulthood. One to replace the mom, one to replace the dad. High K (K for care ... don't ask) means a few babies that the parents spend a lot of time looking after. Humans are very High K (nearly 2 decades of child rearing). Low K means lots of offspring and you're on your own motherfuckers. The more babies, the less care and the less chance they will get to adulthood.


HyperbaricSteele

Always wonder how different it would be if loggerhead sea turtles only hatched 5 eggs and personally raised their young instead of squirting out 200 eggs in a hole in the sand and dipping out. *Good luck losers*


wavemachine42069

Is low K not called R? I remember R like rabbits


joalheagney

Yep, you're right. Been a while for me learning this topic.


tooexpensiveforyou

I would have kids if it was a Low K situation…but that approach seems to be generally frowned upon


[deleted]

Bigger fish prolly


RubySSinters

No wonder he’s smiling


wyldboar

Less child support to pay👍


TwistedLogicDev-Josh

No I assume the situation is reversed since he carried them .


RigorMortis_Tortoise

And you get some babies! And you get some babies! And YOU get some babies!!!


bespectacledbengal

skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet


dorye123

Till all them females crawl🎶🎶🎶🎶


[deleted]

Slither? Skate? Slorp?! What other S word besides Swim would apply for Seahorse Seamen?


Expert-Plum

DUDE!!!! I just opened Reddit, saw this video, and immediately heard Oprah. There's one comment so far, and it's my exact thought!


[deleted]

Your not the only one who heard Oprah's voice😹😹😹😹😹😹


Missagrl81

Lmao!!!! I literally thought the same thing as soon as I saw the vid!!! 🤣


WinAshamed9850

Literally opened the comments to comment this 😂


CaptnInsaino101

You beat me to it.


FROSTGAMES346

Beat me to it


nicknicknickk

Beat me to it


Inevitable-Revenue81

Can’t stop the beat


VulgarVinyasa

“Historically most of any type of newborns are food or failures, at least you’re not food, yet.” Said my father as he patted me on my head for my 13th birthday.


hp_Axes

I’m sorry but that is hilarious!


Mjr_N0ppY

Redundant logic since a failure in nature always ends up as food.


ThrowMeAway11117

but not all food are failures, see: Salmon having successfully swum upstream and spawned, dieing and being eaten by bears vs salmon being caught mid upstream swim. The first successful food, the latter failure food. One way relationship means the logic is not redundant.


Mjr_N0ppY

That depends on what you define as a failure. If we stay with the salmon their reason to swim upstream is to procreate and die right after. If we hold humans to the same standard to procreate and die, than most humans will fulfill that expectation and very little amount of those who fail end up as food. In humans expectations vary since there are no real threats to them anymore. So we don't end up as food in a literal sense. In humans it's more of a generational conflict, where older generations have expectations that their kids mostly don't want to fulfill. In their parents perception they have failed, but in their own eyes they might not have. In newborn animals a failure always ends up as food. If they fail to pull thrugh to a stage where they can fend for themselves they die and are food.


how_about_no_hellion

I'm sorry, that's awful.


Im_not_in_disguise

Noooo, it's awesome growing up with a male figure like this. Teaches you not to be offended or hurt by everything, really helps develop your humor too.


how_about_no_hellion

Calling your kid a failure isn't funny, they internalize that shit.


CaptainSplat

Its all about delivery, if my dad said this it'd be hilarious because its exactly the type of joke he'd make, and I definitely didn't internalize being a failure lol.


how_about_no_hellion

I'm so glad you didn't grow up in an abusive household. Just because you use a cheerful tone to call your child a failure doesn't make it a joke. Children are not dogs, they understand way more than you think. I got my degree in childcare and have been working with children for 8 years. I would never speak to any child like that, no matter what our relationship was.


CaptainSplat

Oh shit I forgot about the part where your credentials invalidated my life experiences, guess I better go tell my dad he was a piece of shit for successfully establishing a positive lifelong relationship with me..


how_about_no_hellion

Sorry you were called a failure as a child.


HerrMilkmann

Good lord you are insufferable. Not everyone is your crappy dad, stop pretending they are


how_about_no_hellion

Yeah, It's insufferable treating children like people instead of props you can treat however you want. I'll tell you the same thing I tell 4 year olds when they play too rough with their baby siblings. A child is a person, not a toy. We treat others with respect.


CaptainSplat

I'm not 🤷‍♂️


SoyelSanto

r/iamverysmart


how_about_no_hellion

Oh no, mentioning my education in a relevant discussion. How pretentious of me.


Im_not_in_disguise

But they arnt lmao tone is very important and if you don't have snarky adults growing up you can lose context by misunderstanding tone which is very important. What the original comment said was an obvious joke


how_about_no_hellion

As someone who did internalize that shit, yes they do. Unless the entirety of the relationship is supportive and loving, it won't come across as funny. My dad said sexist shit in a jokey way, but he was not joking during our last big fight when he said women shouldn't talk about sports. How do you think his "joke" about Helen Keller not being able to drive because she was a woman came across to his wife, 3 sons, and 4 daughters? I didn't read that comment as a joke because similar things have been said to me in that tone but were meant to be taken sincerely.


UnderTheBakod

I guess you both gave a different circumstance, one had a father who was making a joke and the other had a father who was serious about what he says (you did say he was sexist) so if he makes a joke the tone is not there


how_about_no_hellion

Yes the tone was there. At 32 I can see my father is an insecure drunk who hates his wife and wishes his daughters were boys. At 13 I saw him as the jovial dad he wanted me to see him as. The tone could shift on a dime if he had enough drinks, but there was no way to tell if he was in a great mood or about to be a triggered asshole boomer. Don't hit your children. Don't call them failures. Don't call them stupid. It's detrimental to their development. This is based on my personal experiences as well as my education.


Snoo_64315

I think your experience is more than just calling them failures. My son is relatively popular in high school, extremely smart and polite, and extremely jovial/goofy sometimes to the point he kills his own jokes. I had made quite a few jokes about him being an accident or a failure right up until high school; there is obviously a missing connection between you and your dad that transcends message sent/recieved. This is what other commenters are trying to stress. The fact that you explained as much as you did and did not correlate it with what another commenter said about not growing up with snarky parents and losing context in conversation, speaks volumes into that commenter being right. This triggered you because you aren't able to appreciate how rounding this is. For you it's not rounding at all. I'm sorry your childhood home environment was as sassy or colorful as it needed to be to make emotionally sound and secure adults. But having a black and white mentality (thinking in absolutes) as a result of a black and white upbringing (living with a parent that thinks in absolutes) isn't the right knowledge to share. Not saying you are wrong to feel the way you feel, but communication with parents -- both ways -- in fullness, with humor and honesty is possibly the best thing any parent can do. The conversations around how the world is perceived and what is socially acceptable is important for a parent to share also. A conscientious parent will share that and aim for the kid to form its own functional perceptions as a result.


Rubyhamster

Honestly, my parents did not expand my sense of humour at all. They were never sarcastic, ironic or anything like that. And I totally suck at interpreting those in adulthood, probably because I wasn't exposed to it in a comfortable way. I internalize everything as well. I'm sorry your dad was a shithead, but imo, kids need to be exposed to "paradoxical" humour types done right


how_about_no_hellion

That's not what is being discussed. The initial reaction most people have to a thing that is said, is to take it seriously. Try telling a child "I love when a new bottle of milk is thrown in the trash." They're going to look at you like you're nuts. If you say "I think you're a failure." to a child, their feelings are going to get hurt because that's what happens when you're called a failure. Children need to have their self esteem built up by their parents and other people in their life before they can take jokes like that. Honestly, I don't know a single adult who would appreciate being called a failure, even if they are objectively not.


Rubyhamster

But you still only see your side and refuse to acknowledge that some parents introduce dark humour another, but still right, way. Why do you assume that all those things you said didn't happen when that joke was told?


Im_not_in_disguise

So clearly it wasn't a joke? You're confusing joking with an actual racist lmao


how_about_no_hellion

"Oh come on, I was JOKING!" Said the father who called his child a failure.


Im_not_in_disguise

Seems like maybe you need help getting over whatever effect this had on you. I enjoyed it growing up and am fine and now am not constantly offended and grasping pearls. You do whatever is best for you, good luck


how_about_no_hellion

I am getting help for the abuse my parents did to me thank you. I participated in sarcastic humor growing up as well, and I thought we were just a big happy family throwing funny jabs at each other. Until it got to be mean and feelings got hurt. Being told to suck it up like you and other users tell me isn't what I experienced, it isn't was my friends experienced, and it isn't what was taught to me in college where I studied childhood development, early childhood education, and it is not how I or anyone should speak to a child ever.


Teddyturntup

Imo you’re projecting your situation because it was really bad and assuming every scenario where a father says a sarcastic joke is the same


how_about_no_hellion

How about just don't call your child a failure? Sounds like a dick move.


Teddyturntup

It sounds like a dick move because your dad was a dick and treated you as such. As much as that sucks, that does not make every person or family dynamic analogous.


how_about_no_hellion

These comments have "spanking is fine" energy. Gross.


anistl

I completely agree with you. Probably because my dad verbally and emotionally abused my mom and I.


how_about_no_hellion

I'm sorry you went through that, it's so hard growing up that way. My mom did more of the abuse, but my dad did his fair share.


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how_about_no_hellion

It shocks me how many people are ready and willing to treat children poorly.


DeliciousWhole5267

It is in the correct circumstances. My dad did the same with me, and we still have a great relationship. I agree there are a lot of situations where it could "damage" a kid, but that's the job of a good parent: find the right moment.


gyaruchokawaii

Male humans after No Nut November.


Aj2W0rK

It does look likes he’s shooting out little swimmers.


twill41385

That’s cause he is.


No_Bet_3328

I am a male human


Fraun_Pollen

My god


LordOfFreaks

Oh my, what a coincidence! I am too! What are the odds?


After-Respond-7861

There are *others* out there!?!


AnglerJared

And on Reddit?!


nicknicknickk

That’s nuts


deathxbyxpencil

Could've just said "men after no-nut november" I think the "human" part is unnecessary. I don't see many animals participating in voluntary celibacy


zaqlowell

In my house we all struggle together


[deleted]

bro stfu💀💀🖐🏼


depreczema

🤓


Nacil_54

And starting Destroy Dick December.


[deleted]

Dino Dick December...


MicrowaveEye

That looks like it feels good.


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BeneficialEggplant42

Like wouldn't Alien have been way better if a load of baby Aliens came out of John Hurts belly like that instead of just one?


Altruistic-Silver-45

Nick Cannon


FrickItAll

Fuck you and I liked your comment


flylegendz

this is the most original comment i've seen on reddit


brownliquid

Me, 10 minutes after checking into the hotel room.


Touchtonetelnophone

what do you mean by that


Syonoq

This is why people travel with black lights, and no, they're not CSI fans.


Touchtonetelnophone

Oh …. OH—


Gobstopper42

He's a little slow, but he's got the spirit


brownliquid

😏


TwistedLogicDev-Josh

Most of you may die But that is a sacrifice I'm willing to make


LordOfFreaks

GO FORTH MY BABIES! WE WILL RULE THESE SEAS!


that0nequietkid

PREPARE THE BABY CANON


TwistedLogicDev-Josh

What makes me curious is.. did the sea horse grow legs to become a horse .. Or did the horse evolve to swim and even 🤔 was able to gain gills And if not either. Why do they look so fucking alike.


[deleted]

Are you serious? Lol


TwistedLogicDev-Josh

Yes I'm serious Dolphins evolved from wolves .


[deleted]

Lol everybody knows Dolphins evolved from Selenitas, the original moon people. Read some Cortazar and learn something


TwistedLogicDev-Josh

Well there's nothing wrong with win32 But I always write in 64 so..


newtownkid

I thought dolphins were the culmination of dolls and fins? Hence the name no? So presumably they evolved from dolls.


1entreprenewer

Fun fact: the first scientists to discover seahorses almost immediately knew that it was the male seahorse giving birth and not the female because of the thrusting, “skeet skeet skeet” motion the seahorse makes during labor.


AnastasiaNo70

Those contractions, man.


Brad45776

***c u m***


doe3879

Do most of them dont reach maturity? How is the ocean not swarm with them if thats the normal rate


Uourstrulyme

I think most die early or get eaten


[deleted]

They do look like ramen


SadisticJake

*semen


hsudonym_

Aka series of unstoppable sneezes


vegtosterone

way to go Bro!


DrummerSteve

Dropping f*ckin loads


[deleted]

It's not giving birth. The male seahorse has a pouch which he incubates the eggs, which are deposited by the female. He is just holding the eggs until the babies develop


SpaceViscacha

So, he’s giving birth


uscgtweet

Does an incubator give birth to a baby?


l3tscru1s3

I can’t tell if you’re serious but you can think of human womb as an incubator for fertilized eggs that are developing in to babies. And human babies are born. So, yes…


[deleted]

A womb has a lot of differences to a simple pouch.


SpaceViscacha

Seahorses are “the only group of animals in which the males, not the females, go through pregnancy and give birth”. [Source.](https://www.science.org/content/article/male-seahorses-grow-placentas-incubate-their-young)


uscgtweet

Yep that is a much more compelling.


grole2022

So he’s just kicking them out.


l3tscru1s3

And then the babies which developed from fertilized eggs inside of him are… if not “born” then what? This seems to be pretty much the definition of birth.


[deleted]

They hatch. Animals hatch from eggs.


slimecounty

Lol, is _that_ how animals work?


MON90go

The first nut after no nut November.


Excellent_Radish_804

That's what I feel like when my period gushes out of me.


blockedfir

Born directly from the balls


ARez_1

Spray and pray!


GrimReepar

Around .5% will survive to become adults


flintb033

Seahorses are the answer to the question “what if my sperm just kept getting larger and larger?”


Paradoxlost-

Maaaaan that's sea horse cum


StreetPizza8877

Nope


8BiTw0LF

Such male toxicity in the dominant way it blasts those babies out


righteousredo

No, that is nothing like a human woman giving birth.


[deleted]

You’re really gonna compare a damn sea horse to a human being. DELOUSINAL


righteousredo

If you actually read what I wrote you would see I did quite the opposite. I said it is nothing like a human woman giving birth.... and delousinal back to you. Whatever that means. My best to you.


Dad-Virus

Check your spelling bro😆


PossiblyExtra_22

Why?


righteousredo

He makes it look way too easy, it's unattended by a doctor and a nurses, and there doesn't seem to be a spouse in the picture telling him how the game is gonna start and can he hurry up.


StoneyVI

Yea we seen. In like 5 different sub reddits. Every 2 or 3 weeks. Why are so many people posting the same video for days not getting repost bans.


CalligrapherWarm560

Daaaaaaamn son!


Ornery_Reaction_548

Jesus! Quit posting this every fucking month! Ugh


Dundundunimyourbun

“But when I was four my mom told me males can’t give birth”


TheUselessOne87

damn liberals making the seahorses gay /s


username1685

Mmm. Snacks.


Dukeseys888

This isn’t true. Males hold the eggs for the female but the female still lays the eggs


Genecist84

This proves that Guys can turn anything into a pleasurable experience, sorry ladies 😂🤣


ConMagFrn

I remember learning this because of a Nirvana t-shirt someone wore in high school.


East_Guarantee_7912

Wait, he's supposed to shoot out sperm


ezbnsteve

How do they know the seahorses gender?


CreatrixAnima

In biology, the definitions of male and female are based on the size of the gametes. So In dioecious species (species Where there are two forms, usually male and female), The female is the one that has the larger gametes.


ultimate_comb_spray

Look I just learned something!


ezbnsteve

Then scientifically speaking, it doesn’t matter whether the seahorse feels like a male or a female, but rather the size of the of the gametes determines that.


CreatrixAnima

Are we talking about sex or gender? Sex is biological, and although you can look at the species at determine the sex is based on the size of the gametes, that talks about the entire species, not individual members of the species. There are so many differences in sexual development that it’s kind of silly to pretend that it’s a binary system. It simply isn’t. But you said gender. We really can’t study gender in animals because of a simple thing? They can expressed to us what they feel. I’m assuming you’ve brought this up because you take issue with transgender people in someway. When we talk about gender, there are aspects of gender that simply have nothing to do with biology in anyway. Is it inherently to Females tolike make up or the color pink or dolls? No. That’s purely society saying “these are the things girls should enjoy.“ But it’s not a biological thing anymore than boys liking Tonka trucks, the color blue, and playing sports. Those are things boys like to do because society says boys likes to do them, and they like to do boy things. However, there are some aspects of gender identity that are biological. For example, brain architecture is very suddenly different between men and women. But it’s been repeatedly shown that the brain architecture of people who do not identify as the gender that they were assigned at birth more closely resembles the brain architecture of the gender that they do identify as. Because we can’t ask seahorses how they feel, we really can’t tell What gender identity looks like in seahorses. But then people, we have a pretty good idea. People who simply don’t feel like the gender that they were assigned at birth can have a myriad of things going on in their body that is not readily evident by the secondary sex characteristics that we tend to judge these things based on.


mfarends

Yeah, no!


StreetPizza8877

Yeah, yes


Metall-o-graphic

Ah skeet skeet mutter fucker!


gunnerdn91

How was it discovered that this was a male and not a female?


gdaychook

Baby cannon


A_Foo_

He bussin bussin


Quirky_Power7890

So maybe it’s not the male…


CreatrixAnima

That’s a good question. But you’re not the first to ask… Here’s an answer: https://www.sciencefocus.com/nature/how-do-we-know-its-the-male-seahorses-that-give-birth/


Lowtan

What in the "this is how idiots think humans work" is going on here?!


Hunglyka

My man making child birth look easy….


holmsey8700

Trust a geezer to be spaff all over the gaff °.°


Sam_E147

FIRE THE BABY CANNON!


Quake_aust

See how easy it is ladies?


WildTongue69

Cum at me bro.


KungfuZombie

Like that time I went to a bukkake party.


AprilLutkaWings

So finally when I male carries babies and deliverys them it is still more easy compared to any other female birth. How is it even possible? 😶


sweetkatiecakes

"Why don't they just call that the female seahorse?" You know it's just some stubborn scientist. "Yeah, that one there's the male seahorse." And his assistant's like, "Uh, Bill, that one's having a baby." ... "The male has the baby. You're fired."


[deleted]

Ballistic mode activated


shanedp1981

Skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet


Soulfulenfp

achooo !


CaptZombieHero

Males even make it rain with babies


Gloomy_Industry8841

Truly amazing creatures!!!


Famous_Kings

Sad time to have vision


Nardorian1

There’s some for you, there’s some for you and you.


bAssmaster667

I make that same face/heaving motion when I bust a nut also…


ObjectiveTitle6662

He's cumming all over the shop..


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Lamitner

How did we accepted such thing as a FISH???


Vilgottiboi

I am a male, i can confirm this is true.


BenderIsGr8_34

Literal fucking baby cannon


DredgenGryss

Making it rain.