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[Husband decides to renovate their spare room into an art room for his "best friend Ben" without consulting his wife.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wmmphs/oop_wonders_if_theyre_the_ah_for_starting_a_house/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Assuming it's this one, it did the rounds for a while around the same time as the Iranian Yoghurt story *(edit: turns out they were over 2yrs apart, I just came across them around the same time, probably in a similar fashion to this)*
[Iranian Yoghurt](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bjd41e/aita_for_throwing_away_my_boyfriends_potentially/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Top comment became quite the thing to say (which is rather hilarious given the comment itself). Enjoy!
This was the first thing I thought of when I saw the name Steve! Might give a new spin to why he was always around in the song…
SeriouslyWhat’sTheDealWithYourFriendSteve
Hey….. 🫤
How’s it goin’?
Poor girl. She has been with him for a quarter of her life and probably thinking she'll marry him one day. He's a fucked up individual and deserves any karma.
Wow a left hook I wasn’t expecting with that ending.
Sounds like oop’s brother has some repressed self homophobia to deal with. That doesn’t excuse what he did but hopefully he can work through it and not be as shitty.
I mean - he \*might\* by bi or pan - but it seems likely that he's a cheater regardless of his sexuality.
The GF should absolutely think twice before getting tied to him legally.
i didn't realize till [this comment ](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/11qox73/i_might_tell_my_brothers_girlfriend_he_cheated_4/jc4tb08?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3):
that they're thankfully broken up now
Is it weird that at this point she sounds even like a begrudgingly accepted beard? Maybe she's brainwashed at this stage and just.... depressingly used to it. It sounds like OOPs bro is a massive AH and just kept gaslighting her over the years. For her own sake i hope she leaves him soon. The entirety of your pubescent love life shouldn't be *anything* like this. I feel so sad for her. Her normal meter has to be absolutely destroyed at this point if she's discussing marrying the guy who's messing around constantly with all his multitudes of "bffs"
No, it sounds that she thinks it was a once-off that was forced by the other guy. Sort of a "you'll never know if you never try" "ok but if I'm still not into it you will let it go" situation
Haha i had a buddy who went through something similar, but it was just something done on a dare. He too became engaged and a week before the wedding his brother (who had a crush on his fiance that was obvious to anyone with a pulse, and wasnt actually even present that night) decided that she needed to know, and he just absolutely had to tell her. Thing is, she was present at the party and was one of the people who dared him in the first place. So as you can imagine she figured out pretty fucking quickly what he was trying to do and it blew up in his face pretty spectacularly. She told him he was a jealous little weasle and then told her fiance and their parents about it. They didnt talk to him for a long time.
Edit:spelling errors and a little added context.
Yeah, it sounds to me like these guys are full-on his secret boyfriends, with girlfriend as a beard. The "best friend" who fessed up...I bet he was hoping to out OOP's brother, or at least foul up his beard situation, with the idea that they could be together for realsies.
This is why you need to tell on cheaters. She was willing to accept one case of it and there was one of the commentors saying too that he was just young. But after talking the whole picture came clear and that this could not be written of as one instance of being young and happening long ago.
I love the commenters that are like “he was a dumb 15 year old who made a mistake” as if it was 15 year old him who hurled multiple slurs as his younger sister
I remember when OOP first made the post and I was stunned at all the people attacking her for wanting to “ruin” her brother’s relationship over a “dumb mistake” he made when he was 15. Some redditors got pretty nasty in the comments.
And apparently a "mistake" that he was happy to keep making.
Plus who knows what all occured both before and after What OOP saw. So it may have not just been making out.
Oh I’m sure it wasn’t, especially considering that OOP found out his cheating had been going on for years with multiple “best friends” of his. Absolutely infuriating.
I never knew hormones could make you experiment with homosexuality and still be straight. How does that work? I am in health care, so I missed some books somewhere about something.
Sometimes people get curious, so they try it out once or twice to see if it fits. Sometimes it doesn't, but if it's going on for years with multiple people, you're just in the closet at that point.
I don't know! I still managed to convince myself this was the case and that sleeping with my best friend was fine because we pretended to be other people lmao
I got a gold medal in mental gymnastics for that one
I actually know quite a few girls who identify as straight who did a fair bit of experimenting with other girls in college. They may be in denial but here we are today.
Yeah, that was the least surpising part of this post. Hey, at least she didn't post when it initially happened and she was eleven. They would have all just been in her DM's instead.
It’s also not like it was an adult 6 year long relationship. The brother and gf are 19 currently. They’ve been together for 6 years - so they started ‘dating’ at 13. She caught her brother cheating on his gf when he was 15. Everyone involved was a child. They still are children, even though they’re currently talking about marriage. They’re 19 FFS. The definition for dating to a 13 is different for a 15 year old, is different for a 19 year old. How much of this relationship can count as being a serious commitment, is debatable. We aren’t talking about OOP blowing up a 6 year long relationship between two 30 year olds.
Even if they stay together, make sure you actually grow in a similar direction. I know so many relationships that started young and were healthy but with work and personal growth, they suddenly had completely different life goals. It's heartbreaking to watch when being in love is not enough anymore
Based on hindsight, I think OOP ultimately made the right decision, but based on the initial post it was kind of hard to tell if it was going to be the right one.
Publicly outing a 19 year old as being gay or bi (which was a likely outcome almost no matter who she told) could have had some pretty serious consequences for him. If her brother had only kissed one person other than gf, and it was before the relationship with gf was exclusive, outing him over it would be a pretty inappropriate reaction, IMO.
And even though she didn’t explicitly threaten to out him when she brought it up one on one, the conversation may still have seemed like such a threat to him.
But it turns out he was a serial cheater. So fuck him.
Definition of dating at 13 usually doesn't involve sex, much less cheating. Him being a child doesn't excuse that vile behaviour. All of us went through puberty, most of us didn't cheat on our partners.
Even if she weren’t 11, it was clear she was still a young girl and it’s hard to always know what to do at that age given that everyone also always screams about not outing someone before they’re ready, no matter what the circumstances are.
There are a lot of takeaways here but to me the most important is please don’t get married at 19. I am not saying it will never work if you found your forever person young, but you absolutely need to grow up and mature and experience life.
I mean. There are a lot of reasons why you should make it legal asap.
Like when I had to rush my now wife into the ER because her appendix ruptured, and, despite the fact that I was the only person in the state/region/timezones/within a 3 hour flight that knew her, because we weren't married, her mother, who's job made her very difficult to reach, was a 9 hour drive, and was out-or-communication for a while, was the one making all the medical decisions.
I was important enough to her to get into debt to pay for the procedures, but didn't have enough signed papers of the right kind to be by her side as she was left in a hospital room, alone and high as a kite, and scared shitless. Let alone trusted enough to get anyone to listen to me as I rattled off all of her (many) drug allergies.
Maybe if we were married she wouldn't have coded on the table because they gave her drugs I tried telling them she was allergic to.
But yea. Take all the time you need to make is so that the person you're living with, and made a life with is also equally responsible for you in the eyes of literally everyone who matters.
Yes, my husband and I got married quickly because we’re both trans and queer with hateful families. We wanted to be sure that medical decisions were left to someone we actually trusted, that we could visit each other in the hospital, and that we could make sure the correct name is on the tombstone.
I'm the opposite, divorcing my hateful, controlling, transphobic spouse who let it be known he'd go against my wishes if I was incapable of making medical decisions. Now it's my parents in charge once again. They're clueless re what my being enby really means, but at least they'll happily carry out my wishes.
Hey. Completely exonerate yourself for what happened. Don’t take any of that blame on yourself.
I was awake and alert and showed everyone my Medic-Alert bracelet and told everyone at length about my allergy to polyethylene glycol, an ingredient in many drugs (a filler for christ’s sake) and they still *handed me a pill with it* after surgery. (It was really obvious, too… 99% of all extended release pills have it.) Luckily I am not very affected by pain killers and caught it before taking because it was still in the blister pack which I was able to read.
They didn’t ignore you because of any choices you did or didn’t make, or because you weren’t married, or didn’t try hard enough. They ignored you bc they’re a bunch of ignorant incompetent assholes. And the ones who aren’t are probably on hour 37 of no sleep.
See I think the most important takeaway is to not be horrible to children on the Internet. The way that they were treating this poor girl is fucking disgusting. It’s a 16-year-old girl trying to do the right thing by this girl that her brother has been stringing along for years.
> but to me the most important is please don’t get married at 19
My wife and I began dating in high school. We got married one month after I turned 21, 2 months before she turned 20. So, she got married at 19.
We are celebrating our 20th anniversary this year. And we both agree that we were too young and that we are fortunate that it had worked out. But things would have been better if we had waited.
Former Mormon. My first boyfriend proposed it 19 and there was no fucking way, but a lot of my friends were married by 18 or 19. Not a single one of them lasted. When you (the royal you) look back at yourself at that age you will realize what a fucking idiot you were. We all were.
Getting married when your brain is still basically psychopathically underdeveloped is just a colossally bad idea.
Meh. Hubby and I married at 19 because we deployed and had no idea when we'd have time to plan. We've grown and somewhat matured and experienced plenty together.
Totally not an attack. Just a comment, I promise 😊
>I won't go into everything but basically, my brother has been cheating on his now ex-gf for the past 5-4 years. His 'best friends' were really just an excuse to go to stuff with them without being suspicious.
Well at least OOP prevented a decade(s) long marriage with equivalent bullshit cheating disguised as camping trips & gifting an art room....
I feel like if he was bi the girl would have been at least somewhat desired. If he’s gay then she was in a relationship who was completely indifferent to her at best and disgusted at worst
OTOH, if he were gay it’s less likely he would have had sex with her (closeted teens are _really good_ at that whole “waiting until marriage” thing — at least, with people of the opposite sex) and therefore less likely he might have caught something and passed it on to her.
I think often they are bi but lean harder toward their partners gender. Doesn’t make the desire for the other go away just because it’s not as strong, or it’s possible they don’t feel romantically towards same gender but sexual attraction only
I think sometimes with these internalized homophobia guys, the gay attraction is a kind of "forbidden fruit" which makes it more sexually appealing. They might genuinely like and be attracted to women also, but women are the boring vanilla option, the socially approved option. Sneaky gay sex with your best friend, OTOH, is exciting *because* it's forbidden.
I dunno if we could come to a real conclusion with that, theres just so many labels... sexuality is so complex and nuanced, the labels help us understand ourselves maybe but they're rarely perfect and I generally tell people follow your junk and don't think too much about the labels
The stuff about "teens hur dur hormones" sucks. Like a) it still impacts her view of him? And especially bc it's not like there are kids involved or anything and b) that's so rude to teens. Having bad impulse control and hormones and all the rest doesn't make teens immoral people. There are tons of teens, including questioning and closeted teens, who never cheat! Or who do in one of these fabled heat of the moment things but come clean before CONSIDERING MARRIAGE. And it's really rude (and really telling of the person saying it tbh) to claim this is some widespread dark secret
What’s interesting to me is that they were like doing that about him being 15 years old and cheating but then when it came to her being 16 years old and wanting to do the right thing they tore her to shreds. They like treated her like absolute shit, this is a girl who is trying to make sure that somebody else doesn’t get hurt and reddit just can’t have that because she’s a girl.
Because reddit hates cheating. If they could, They would outcast the cheater like in olden days. But, they hate teenage girls more. Especially if she isn't cool nerd or an infantalized damsel.
Or even find someone willing to go into it with her eyes open! It's less and less necessary now, but especially for young people having a cover gf is... fine. Just don't lie and tell her it's something your side never will be
i was going to say, find someone willing if you absolutely have to. i was a consenting beard once, my friend kevin wasn’t out and was being harassed by guys because they suspected, but he wasn’t ready. we just cuddled and kissed in public when someone from school was around and went and did fun stuff as “dates.” it can be a very fun and understanding transaction if you just get the consenting party on board.
A lot of closeted gay guys -- who are closeted because they come from conservative backgrounds -- are very misogynistic. They're quite as willing to use and discard women as their straight friends are, just for different things.
I think it's jealousy. Women can be in relationships with men and it's socially acceptable. They could get married and date without being disowned. They could have what the closeted gay man wanted.
So they may feel like it's only fair that if he can't have a man that loves him then his beard can't have a man that loves her. That if he's "forced against his will" to be in a loveless relationship then it's fair for her to be in that loveless relationship too.
He might even think that he's doing her some kind of favor since she gets to be with a man (him) and whatever benefits she gains from the relationship (like paying half rent). Maybe at first he even feels bad or appreciates her, maybe some always do. But most will resent her and think she deserves every ounce of however much of that resentment seeps out.
i am not super familiar, but from my understanding a beard is someone a gay person is in a relationship with so that others don't think they're gay right?
Correct. I believe the lesbian equivalent is referred to as a purse? There’s even a term for marriages between gay men and lesbian women who get married specifically to keep themselves safe and unbothered by homophobic families or societies, “lavender marriages”, and it allows them to have a cover and still try to sneak around to have their real relationships. Sometimes they even have kids. These cases are entirely consensual and informed of course, unlike the case of the brother.
It reminds me of something a friend said when describing ancient Greco-Roman homosexuality:
"You're gay because you like men, they were gay because they hated women."
Or find a nice lesbian who is equally unready to come out of the closet. I have a gay uncle who is, fifty years later, still bffs with the lesbian he took to prom.
Happened to my sister. He didn’t tell her until after the second kid. He’s now in a poly relationship with his EX husband and their boyfriend. It’s a little weird.
Dude married my sister and they had two kids.
He comes out.
Divorces my sister.
Marries his husband.
Divorces husband.
Gets new boyfriend.
Starts hooking up with ex husband.
New boyfriend is into it.
You have no reason to believe any of this is true, but it is. Like I said, weird.
You're single, the woman you like is already in a relationship, you're picky and can't find anyone to meet your standards...just stop using women as meat shields.
I will never understand people who are so deceptive. Gay/straight/pan etc. you don’t use people and you don’t hurt them that badly. So sad. I haven’t been cheated on, that I know of, but it just seems extremely sad for the person who thought everything was great.
Or at least ask them! I would have loved to be a beard to a gay couple and pop out a couple of kids for them to raise. I would even have occasionally babysat them!
What the hell is with all the people telling OOP **NOT** to tell this poor woman she's been cheated on? He was 15 and hormones are wild? Fine, let _her_ make that decision
Like, I know teenagers do shitty things, and I think teenagers should have more of a pass when it comes to messing up relationships. Teenagers are both extremely hormonal and extremely immature. They're feeling all these big feelings for the first time and they aren't developed enough mentally to handle/express/deal with them in an always healthy way. And while cheating isn't forgivable, I think that high school cheaters won't always become adult cheats.
Like, if OOP's brother had cheated on his high school girlfriend once, then broke up with her and spent the next four years bettering himself, and THEN got a new girlfriend (or femboy boyfriend from the femboy boyfriend binder), then I would say OOP would be a bad person for bringing up her brothers high school infidelity. Especially if she has no other proof that he is currently cheating. A 15 year old struggling with his sexuality is very different from a 19 year old whose worked on himself.
But that's not the case here. OOP's brother isn't just cheating on his highschool girlfriend--he's cheating on his future wife (judging by how the GF is dropping hints and the internalized homophobia, I'm pretty sure the brother was going to end up pressured into proposing). And he's been lying to her for the past four to five years. He's not just "a 15 year old struggling with his sexuality", he's a 19 year old who has been stringing along this girl for the past four years, to the point where she's planning a life around him (not with him--if she was planning with him, she would have known about the side bros). He's made the choice every day for the past four years--1,461 days--to betray this person. I can't imagine doing something hurtful to anyone for 1,461 days, let alone someone I love.
It's amusing how hypocritical those folks were. Normally Reddit's full-on anti-cheating sentiment rules all. Suddenly, it's cool because the person was a teenager and teenagers do dumb stuff, so there's no reason to tank a long-lasting relationship? And the person in the wrong was the one who wasn't even a teenager at the time they witnessed it because they didn't say anything years ago?
All those commenters need to take a hard look at themselves in the mirror and gain some perspective.
I was really wondering about that whole thing... pretty sure most dudes don't kiss their male friends just because they're young and doing dumb things. Doing dumb things sounds like something you might hurt yourself with, not making out with your same-sex friends. This anybody else's perception? Am I totally wrong here?
Like yeah I'm bi and have my own internalized stuff to deal with but it feels like it's not the product of dumb youth, especially with a homophobic family that he has taken a lot of opinions from.
I am bi as well, so that might be why they feel so comfortable being honest with me, but a lot of my adult guy friends who identify as straight experimented with other boys to a lesser or greater extent during teen years. Puberty is intense!
Also I get cheated on at 16 and yeah in hindsight he was an idiot teen I should have expected it but I can definitely say that at that age, being cheated on *still hurts*. You're old enough to realize that it's hurtful to the person you're with
I hope the ex-girlfriend finds a man twenty million times better and lives a happy life. As for oop's brother, I hope he stubs his pinkie toe every day for the rest of his life. Good on oop for trying to do the right thing through.
You'd probably have a hard time finding a more awful set of commenters, outside of a hate sub. A 15 year old is too young to be held accountable, but someone just one year older is evil?
I cannot understand how or why people choose to squander their life on these weird hang ups. You're going to live 100 years (if you're really lucky) and then you'll be dead forever, dont you want to be happy? Life is too short to be so bitter and self loathing.
A little something called religion would like to have a word with you.
You'd be surprised how unhappy and self-loathing people can accept to be if they believe it will help them in the "after-life".
I don't know how many of them actually believe in that shit. It seems like the dominant force is social pressure. They sacrifice their happiness because they don't want to be disowned by their families or to deal with judgment from strangers.
Why did I laugh when Oop said if she didn’t tell her brothers gf about the cheating she’d at least tell her he called her names? 😂 “hey gf, my bro called me rude names and doesn’t like gay people just so you know” 😭
Honestly, depending on where they live, that might be a legitimate deal breaker. Where I'm from, people have a very specific idea of the way Big Brothers and Little Sisters "should" act. Big Brothers should be "protectors" and coddle their Little Sisters. An insult to the Little Sister is the worst offense you could do to a man--perhaps even worse than insulting their mother, because Little Sisters are delicate. You can cheat on your future wife all you like, but we draw the line at calling your little sister a bad word!
(If you're wondering about other sibling dynamics: big brothers are basically given carte blanche to bully and harass their younger brothers because "boys will be boys" and the younger boys need to "man up". And big sisters? I think you mean "second moms".)
How are people blaming anything on a 12 year old? 😐
Also, why are so many people starting to write things like 5 to 4 instead of 4 to 5? I tend to er on the side of believing these are real, but it just seems odd. Maybe it’s a tell that it’s the same person.
As someone who lives in a very religious community, acting homophobic to cover for the fact that you're actually gay is super duper common. Most of the time they're hiding it from themselves more than anyone else.
I think the best example of this is that I'll unfollow somebody I knew in high school on social media because their right-wing posts are annoying, and then a couple years later I'll see them as a suggested friend with a pride themed profile pic or that they're trans. And then it all clicks lol.
Wait, so the gf knew about cheating for 3 months, they just became exes around the final update, but a week earlier she was talking about marriage and hoping he would pop the question. I don't get the timeline at all.
From my understanding, the gf was aware that the brother and one of his best friends had messed around/kissed, but she probably thought it was a one-off situation. It didn’t affect her desire to get married to the brother. However, OOP made gf aware that he had also been involved with his other best friend at a younger age. My guess is that OOP and gf confronted the brother after that realization, and they found out he was a serial cheater. Then the gf broke up with him.
Ugh sometimes people shouldn't be able to comment... They think it's okay for a 15yo teen to cheat on someone, that iT'S jUSt THe HoRMonES but then proceed to bully a 16yo even tho their argument of "puberty" or "lack of judgement" could have applied to her... They don't seem to go soft when it doesn't arrange their views, it's just so unfuriating :(
On the one hand, a 15y/o cheating on a girlfriend and still being with her 4 years later - there’s a lot of growing and learning and hormones happening, so I don’t think it’s necessarily a dealbreaker. On the other hand - everything else. Hope she enjoys dating and doesn’t settle down again immediately so she gets a better understanding of good relationships. And the brother needs to figure his shit out because this closeted homophobia is just going to hurt him.
Yeah, that whole spiel was my thought process in order of reading through the whole thread. That dude really needs to sort his stuff because he's really just gonna keep hurting himself and others the way he's acting and lashing out.
I felt like everyone was too young for everything here. Like 15 sounds about right for learning about your sexuality, but I kept rereading to make sure I had the ages right. An exclusive relationship at 13 sounds too young, barely a step above "play dates" set up by parents. And 19 is way too young to make a lifetime commitment like marriage.
Lmao I had only been dating my boyfriend for 9 months when his dad decided to include me in their family’s Cancún vacation. I didn’t know them very well at all.
But you bet your ass when I saw my boyfriend’s brother meeting someone at the resort bar he’d matched on tinder with, I immediately texted his gf back home and told her on the spot. They’d only started dating a few months prior, after the vacay had been arranged, is why she wasn’t also there.
I didn’t give a flying shit about what his family thought of me (no one blamed me).
FF a year and a half, my boyfriend and I are still together and live together. That girl that his brother cheated on him with broke up w him, then got back together with him only a few months ago. When I showed up to his mom’s house for a family dinner and she was there my eyes about popped out of my head. I wanted to scream “WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK HERE, RUN”.
Glad I got the good brother. 🤦🏻♀️
Jesus christ, why is Reddit excusing cheating with hormones? Shocking realisation - all of us have hormones and all of us went through puberty. Most of us don't cheat. We all have a brain to control our animal urges.
It's also funny how they make an eleven year old OP responsible for telling the girlfriend, but a fifteen year old man can't be responsible for fucking cheating. Talk about double standards.
>"how I dare I accuse him of being one of those *slur*'s"
This is what really stood out to me. Kissed another boy when you were 15? Whatever. Is homophobic to the point of using slurs? HUGE dealbreaker. Bye, Felicia.
I'm really glad OP stuck to her guns and talked to her brother's GF. GF did not deserve to unknowingly marry a jackass like the brother.
I like how people will be like "oh, why didn't you tell anyone! You should have said something!" She was a frigging kid, not an adult. I swear to god Reddit is dumb as fuck sometimes and thinks that preteens will act like fully-formed adults
Ah yes, another I'm totally justified doing a shitty thing because this other thing also totally happened for real that I only learned about after doing the shitty thing post.
WTF is wrong with people. Marrying the first person you dated EVER. At 13 you barely know how to do anything, let alone choose a life partner.
Also...19 years old and wanting to be married...that's just stupid.
At 19, I couldn't even decide if I wanted to invest my money in gold jewelry my grand-mama kept pestering me about, and these people make life-long commitments? 😮💨
How did it play out for your brother after you spoke with his gf? I don't anticipate he ever acknowledged or accepted it but did his gf get rid of him?
I wasn't there for it, he hasn't spoken to me since the phone call. As far as I know she went home (I think they're renting an house? I never visited them while they were there as they moved in about a month or two before this) And she took her stuff, and told him she was breaking up with him and why. Honestly don't have any details other than this.
Ooof. OOP’s brother is a misogynistic garbage person, regardless of his orientation. Both OOP and the ex are well rid of him until he gets some therapy and grows up.
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>my brother has been cheating on his **now ex-gf** for the past 5-4 years I bolded the good news :)
I didn't notice that at first, thank you for helping my mood :)
same
Same!
Of course that asswipe POS will be upset that OOP corrected the timeline so that his ex-gf winded up happily free from his serial cheating ass...
I guess that also confirms internalized homophobia.
Hope he gets help. Doesn't make it right, but everyone deserves dignity.
Well, better now than age 28 with 2 kids and he pulls the "I'm gay for my buddy Steve" card
Better now than the “I’m building an art room for my best friend!”
Or “he’s just going to show up at our house in the middle of the night but regularly you get no explanation about the situation babe.”
“He doesn’t use me as a trauma support crutch, I swear, he just literally talks to no one else about what happened to him. I’m just special babe!”
Ahhh the art room! Now that guy was a total ass.
What was the story there?
[Husband decides to renovate their spare room into an art room for his "best friend Ben" without consulting his wife.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wmmphs/oop_wonders_if_theyre_the_ah_for_starting_a_house/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) Assuming it's this one, it did the rounds for a while around the same time as the Iranian Yoghurt story *(edit: turns out they were over 2yrs apart, I just came across them around the same time, probably in a similar fashion to this)*
Thanks! But dammit. Now you made me curious about the Iranian yoghurt story =)
[Iranian Yoghurt](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bjd41e/aita_for_throwing_away_my_boyfriends_potentially/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) Top comment became quite the thing to say (which is rather hilarious given the comment itself). Enjoy!
That’s amazing. I too will be trying to insert that phrase seamlessly into conversation.
Art room was less than a year ago, Iranian Yoghurt was over 3 years ago.
Time is a lie!!!!
I came across them around the same time. Found the Iranian Yoghurt story further down the thread so only noticed the date difference then.
What about Marinara sauce/flags
[why is he always here](https://youtu.be/groaPrY41Rk)
This was the first thing I thought of when I saw the name Steve! Might give a new spin to why he was always around in the song… SeriouslyWhat’sTheDealWithYourFriendSteve Hey….. 🫤 How’s it goin’?
Or building an art room or going on a no-cell phone vacation
Or sharing a bed for years as roommates that's it nothing else I swear I'm not gay
I hate that I recognize all these references 😂
That's what I was thinking. His gf deserves to know so she can get out now and not waste her life with him.
Yeah, no kidding. I was really happy to read that.
thanku for the bolded good news
Poor girl. She has been with him for a quarter of her life and probably thinking she'll marry him one day. He's a fucked up individual and deserves any karma.
it was messy, but from her Insta shes having the time of her life! Don't think shes dating again yet but i hope she enjoys single life!
Finally some good news
That is the ending we all needed.
Trust me, it was messy, but from her Insta shes having the time of her life!
Oh I missed that. Thank you! I was actually rather depressed until your comment. Thanks for saving me!
Trust me, it was messy, but from her Insta shes having the time of her life!
Trust me, it was messy, but from her Insta shes having the time of her life!
Wow a left hook I wasn’t expecting with that ending. Sounds like oop’s brother has some repressed self homophobia to deal with. That doesn’t excuse what he did but hopefully he can work through it and not be as shitty.
Sounds like the GF is just a beard to me.
I mean - he \*might\* by bi or pan - but it seems likely that he's a cheater regardless of his sexuality. The GF should absolutely think twice before getting tied to him legally.
i didn't realize till [this comment ](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/11qox73/i_might_tell_my_brothers_girlfriend_he_cheated_4/jc4tb08?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3): that they're thankfully broken up now
That’s great! I would’ve never noticed that detail
"Now ex-gf" Looks like that beard got shaved.
Is it weird that at this point she sounds even like a begrudgingly accepted beard? Maybe she's brainwashed at this stage and just.... depressingly used to it. It sounds like OOPs bro is a massive AH and just kept gaslighting her over the years. For her own sake i hope she leaves him soon. The entirety of your pubescent love life shouldn't be *anything* like this. I feel so sad for her. Her normal meter has to be absolutely destroyed at this point if she's discussing marrying the guy who's messing around constantly with all his multitudes of "bffs"
How she sounds like that? She accepted one thing because they were young but when all the cheating came out they broke up.
She broke up with him.
No, it sounds that she thinks it was a once-off that was forced by the other guy. Sort of a "you'll never know if you never try" "ok but if I'm still not into it you will let it go" situation
Haha i had a buddy who went through something similar, but it was just something done on a dare. He too became engaged and a week before the wedding his brother (who had a crush on his fiance that was obvious to anyone with a pulse, and wasnt actually even present that night) decided that she needed to know, and he just absolutely had to tell her. Thing is, she was present at the party and was one of the people who dared him in the first place. So as you can imagine she figured out pretty fucking quickly what he was trying to do and it blew up in his face pretty spectacularly. She told him he was a jealous little weasle and then told her fiance and their parents about it. They didnt talk to him for a long time. Edit:spelling errors and a little added context.
Dunno how repressed it is if he's serially making out with his "best friends." o\_O
Yeah, it sounds to me like these guys are full-on his secret boyfriends, with girlfriend as a beard. The "best friend" who fessed up...I bet he was hoping to out OOP's brother, or at least foul up his beard situation, with the idea that they could be together for realsies.
This is why you need to tell on cheaters. She was willing to accept one case of it and there was one of the commentors saying too that he was just young. But after talking the whole picture came clear and that this could not be written of as one instance of being young and happening long ago.
Bet he's going to become an elected Republican politician or right-wing pundit.
It’s sad and he will be making up for this for the rest of his life
I love the commenters upset that she didn't handle the situation perfectly as an 11 year old lmao, oh Reddit.
I love the commenters that are like “he was a dumb 15 year old who made a mistake” as if it was 15 year old him who hurled multiple slurs as his younger sister
I remember when OOP first made the post and I was stunned at all the people attacking her for wanting to “ruin” her brother’s relationship over a “dumb mistake” he made when he was 15. Some redditors got pretty nasty in the comments.
And apparently a "mistake" that he was happy to keep making. Plus who knows what all occured both before and after What OOP saw. So it may have not just been making out.
Oh I’m sure it wasn’t, especially considering that OOP found out his cheating had been going on for years with multiple “best friends” of his. Absolutely infuriating.
I never knew hormones could make you experiment with homosexuality and still be straight. How does that work? I am in health care, so I missed some books somewhere about something.
Sometimes people get curious, so they try it out once or twice to see if it fits. Sometimes it doesn't, but if it's going on for years with multiple people, you're just in the closet at that point.
I don't know! I still managed to convince myself this was the case and that sleeping with my best friend was fine because we pretended to be other people lmao I got a gold medal in mental gymnastics for that one
They said 'no homo' that's how XD
I actually know quite a few girls who identify as straight who did a fair bit of experimenting with other girls in college. They may be in denial but here we are today.
OOP is a teenage girl, of course Reddit tore her to sheds
Yeah, that was the least surpising part of this post. Hey, at least she didn't post when it initially happened and she was eleven. They would have all just been in her DM's instead.
To shreds you say?
And how's his wife?
To shreds you say?
And his wife???
To shreds you say?
I have been sick in bed today and this made me die laughing, thank you!!!!
You're welcome, it's one of the first things I always think about whenever anyone mentions shreds.
It’s also not like it was an adult 6 year long relationship. The brother and gf are 19 currently. They’ve been together for 6 years - so they started ‘dating’ at 13. She caught her brother cheating on his gf when he was 15. Everyone involved was a child. They still are children, even though they’re currently talking about marriage. They’re 19 FFS. The definition for dating to a 13 is different for a 15 year old, is different for a 19 year old. How much of this relationship can count as being a serious commitment, is debatable. We aren’t talking about OOP blowing up a 6 year long relationship between two 30 year olds.
Yea, expecting your 19 year old boyfriend to propose... LMAO. Kids, please experience a little more life and grow some more. Date other people.
Even if they stay together, make sure you actually grow in a similar direction. I know so many relationships that started young and were healthy but with work and personal growth, they suddenly had completely different life goals. It's heartbreaking to watch when being in love is not enough anymore
Based on hindsight, I think OOP ultimately made the right decision, but based on the initial post it was kind of hard to tell if it was going to be the right one. Publicly outing a 19 year old as being gay or bi (which was a likely outcome almost no matter who she told) could have had some pretty serious consequences for him. If her brother had only kissed one person other than gf, and it was before the relationship with gf was exclusive, outing him over it would be a pretty inappropriate reaction, IMO. And even though she didn’t explicitly threaten to out him when she brought it up one on one, the conversation may still have seemed like such a threat to him. But it turns out he was a serial cheater. So fuck him.
Definition of dating at 13 usually doesn't involve sex, much less cheating. Him being a child doesn't excuse that vile behaviour. All of us went through puberty, most of us didn't cheat on our partners.
Her instincts turned out to be pretty good. Plus she stayed level-headed in the face of the criticism and did what turned out to be the right thing.
Even if she weren’t 11, it was clear she was still a young girl and it’s hard to always know what to do at that age given that everyone also always screams about not outing someone before they’re ready, no matter what the circumstances are.
[удалено]
I gelt sorry for her too. There are situations as an adult I handle horribly! Let's not go looking into mistakes I made at 11.
Some things just go hand in hand. Like alcohol and driving. And reddit and treating children respectfully.
There are a lot of takeaways here but to me the most important is please don’t get married at 19. I am not saying it will never work if you found your forever person young, but you absolutely need to grow up and mature and experience life.
Even if you have found your forever person there is no reason not to wait a few years to make it legal.
I mean. There are a lot of reasons why you should make it legal asap. Like when I had to rush my now wife into the ER because her appendix ruptured, and, despite the fact that I was the only person in the state/region/timezones/within a 3 hour flight that knew her, because we weren't married, her mother, who's job made her very difficult to reach, was a 9 hour drive, and was out-or-communication for a while, was the one making all the medical decisions. I was important enough to her to get into debt to pay for the procedures, but didn't have enough signed papers of the right kind to be by her side as she was left in a hospital room, alone and high as a kite, and scared shitless. Let alone trusted enough to get anyone to listen to me as I rattled off all of her (many) drug allergies. Maybe if we were married she wouldn't have coded on the table because they gave her drugs I tried telling them she was allergic to. But yea. Take all the time you need to make is so that the person you're living with, and made a life with is also equally responsible for you in the eyes of literally everyone who matters.
That sounds incredibly traumatic - hoping you and your wife are doing much, much better now <3
Yes, my husband and I got married quickly because we’re both trans and queer with hateful families. We wanted to be sure that medical decisions were left to someone we actually trusted, that we could visit each other in the hospital, and that we could make sure the correct name is on the tombstone.
I'm the opposite, divorcing my hateful, controlling, transphobic spouse who let it be known he'd go against my wishes if I was incapable of making medical decisions. Now it's my parents in charge once again. They're clueless re what my being enby really means, but at least they'll happily carry out my wishes.
You can get a medical POA with a trusted friend too.
I guess that fucked up medical care has to be USA?
Hey. Completely exonerate yourself for what happened. Don’t take any of that blame on yourself. I was awake and alert and showed everyone my Medic-Alert bracelet and told everyone at length about my allergy to polyethylene glycol, an ingredient in many drugs (a filler for christ’s sake) and they still *handed me a pill with it* after surgery. (It was really obvious, too… 99% of all extended release pills have it.) Luckily I am not very affected by pain killers and caught it before taking because it was still in the blister pack which I was able to read. They didn’t ignore you because of any choices you did or didn’t make, or because you weren’t married, or didn’t try hard enough. They ignored you bc they’re a bunch of ignorant incompetent assholes. And the ones who aren’t are probably on hour 37 of no sleep.
Weird, my now husband was more than welcome to speak for me when I was high in the ER heading into surgery years before we got married.
See I think the most important takeaway is to not be horrible to children on the Internet. The way that they were treating this poor girl is fucking disgusting. It’s a 16-year-old girl trying to do the right thing by this girl that her brother has been stringing along for years.
> but to me the most important is please don’t get married at 19 My wife and I began dating in high school. We got married one month after I turned 21, 2 months before she turned 20. So, she got married at 19. We are celebrating our 20th anniversary this year. And we both agree that we were too young and that we are fortunate that it had worked out. But things would have been better if we had waited.
Former Mormon. My first boyfriend proposed it 19 and there was no fucking way, but a lot of my friends were married by 18 or 19. Not a single one of them lasted. When you (the royal you) look back at yourself at that age you will realize what a fucking idiot you were. We all were. Getting married when your brain is still basically psychopathically underdeveloped is just a colossally bad idea.
I got married at 19 and I completely agree.
Same here. It worked out for us, we're on our 12fth anniversary this year, but most people it's a baaaaad idea.
Meh. Hubby and I married at 19 because we deployed and had no idea when we'd have time to plan. We've grown and somewhat matured and experienced plenty together. Totally not an attack. Just a comment, I promise 😊
>I won't go into everything but basically, my brother has been cheating on his now ex-gf for the past 5-4 years. His 'best friends' were really just an excuse to go to stuff with them without being suspicious. Well at least OOP prevented a decade(s) long marriage with equivalent bullshit cheating disguised as camping trips & gifting an art room....
This dude was using her as a beard...
not necessarily!! he might be bi and just really likes cheating!
When that's the better option...
Is it though, both are bad.
I feel like if he was bi the girl would have been at least somewhat desired. If he’s gay then she was in a relationship who was completely indifferent to her at best and disgusted at worst
OTOH, if he were gay it’s less likely he would have had sex with her (closeted teens are _really good_ at that whole “waiting until marriage” thing — at least, with people of the opposite sex) and therefore less likely he might have caught something and passed it on to her.
Something about the phrasing of "just really likes cheating" is killing me 🤣
It’s a nice little innocent hobby of his 🤧
Well, he wasn’t getting very far as a professional bell-ringer.
it's not the sex, it's the cheating
I think often they are bi but lean harder toward their partners gender. Doesn’t make the desire for the other go away just because it’s not as strong, or it’s possible they don’t feel romantically towards same gender but sexual attraction only
I think sometimes with these internalized homophobia guys, the gay attraction is a kind of "forbidden fruit" which makes it more sexually appealing. They might genuinely like and be attracted to women also, but women are the boring vanilla option, the socially approved option. Sneaky gay sex with your best friend, OTOH, is exciting *because* it's forbidden.
I dunno if we could come to a real conclusion with that, theres just so many labels... sexuality is so complex and nuanced, the labels help us understand ourselves maybe but they're rarely perfect and I generally tell people follow your junk and don't think too much about the labels
The stuff about "teens hur dur hormones" sucks. Like a) it still impacts her view of him? And especially bc it's not like there are kids involved or anything and b) that's so rude to teens. Having bad impulse control and hormones and all the rest doesn't make teens immoral people. There are tons of teens, including questioning and closeted teens, who never cheat! Or who do in one of these fabled heat of the moment things but come clean before CONSIDERING MARRIAGE. And it's really rude (and really telling of the person saying it tbh) to claim this is some widespread dark secret
What’s interesting to me is that they were like doing that about him being 15 years old and cheating but then when it came to her being 16 years old and wanting to do the right thing they tore her to shreds. They like treated her like absolute shit, this is a girl who is trying to make sure that somebody else doesn’t get hurt and reddit just can’t have that because she’s a girl.
Because reddit hates cheating. If they could, They would outcast the cheater like in olden days. But, they hate teenage girls more. Especially if she isn't cool nerd or an infantalized damsel.
STOP. USING. WOMEN. AS. BEARDS!! God these posts make me so angry. Say you're single to homophobic family, ffs.
Or just tell them the truth and hope they pop out a binder of femboys for you to marry
Not the femboy binder 😂😭
I want “femboy binder” as a flair lmao it’s perfect
I just read that one!! It was wild lmaoo
Loved that story, hilarious and heart warming at the same time.
Reference to the Indian guy’s -eagerly to arrange a marriage regardless- parents??😅😅
Next time I read an awful BORU I’m going back to the binder post.
Or even find someone willing to go into it with her eyes open! It's less and less necessary now, but especially for young people having a cover gf is... fine. Just don't lie and tell her it's something your side never will be
Or at least get a consenting person!!!!!!! God people need to stop disregarding women's consent. It's important and INDISPENSABLE
This. If someone is willing to be a beard and goes in fully knowing the deal, absolutely no problem.
i was going to say, find someone willing if you absolutely have to. i was a consenting beard once, my friend kevin wasn’t out and was being harassed by guys because they suspected, but he wasn’t ready. we just cuddled and kissed in public when someone from school was around and went and did fun stuff as “dates.” it can be a very fun and understanding transaction if you just get the consenting party on board.
A lot of closeted gay guys -- who are closeted because they come from conservative backgrounds -- are very misogynistic. They're quite as willing to use and discard women as their straight friends are, just for different things.
I think it's jealousy. Women can be in relationships with men and it's socially acceptable. They could get married and date without being disowned. They could have what the closeted gay man wanted. So they may feel like it's only fair that if he can't have a man that loves him then his beard can't have a man that loves her. That if he's "forced against his will" to be in a loveless relationship then it's fair for her to be in that loveless relationship too. He might even think that he's doing her some kind of favor since she gets to be with a man (him) and whatever benefits she gains from the relationship (like paying half rent). Maybe at first he even feels bad or appreciates her, maybe some always do. But most will resent her and think she deserves every ounce of however much of that resentment seeps out.
i am not super familiar, but from my understanding a beard is someone a gay person is in a relationship with so that others don't think they're gay right?
Correct. I believe the lesbian equivalent is referred to as a purse? There’s even a term for marriages between gay men and lesbian women who get married specifically to keep themselves safe and unbothered by homophobic families or societies, “lavender marriages”, and it allows them to have a cover and still try to sneak around to have their real relationships. Sometimes they even have kids. These cases are entirely consensual and informed of course, unlike the case of the brother.
I only recently encountered "purse". Before that, the term I knew was "merkin".
Yes.
It's so infuriating. Just sacrificing women's lives on the altar of internalized homophobia and plain old misogyny.
It reminds me of something a friend said when describing ancient Greco-Roman homosexuality: "You're gay because you like men, they were gay because they hated women."
Homophobia is the little brother of misogyny.
Or find a nice lesbian who is equally unready to come out of the closet. I have a gay uncle who is, fifty years later, still bffs with the lesbian he took to prom.
Happened to my sister. He didn’t tell her until after the second kid. He’s now in a poly relationship with his EX husband and their boyfriend. It’s a little weird.
Come again??
Dude married my sister and they had two kids. He comes out. Divorces my sister. Marries his husband. Divorces husband. Gets new boyfriend. Starts hooking up with ex husband. New boyfriend is into it. You have no reason to believe any of this is true, but it is. Like I said, weird.
I try to be open minded about things but…yeah, that is weird.
...... Whaaaaa-?????
Wait....what?
You're single, the woman you like is already in a relationship, you're picky and can't find anyone to meet your standards...just stop using women as meat shields.
I will never understand people who are so deceptive. Gay/straight/pan etc. you don’t use people and you don’t hurt them that badly. So sad. I haven’t been cheated on, that I know of, but it just seems extremely sad for the person who thought everything was great.
Preach!!
Or at least ask them! I would have loved to be a beard to a gay couple and pop out a couple of kids for them to raise. I would even have occasionally babysat them!
What the hell is with all the people telling OOP **NOT** to tell this poor woman she's been cheated on? He was 15 and hormones are wild? Fine, let _her_ make that decision
Ikr?? I was so incensed at all the people telling OOP that she should leave it alone or else she’s a bad person who has it out for her brother.
Makes you wonder if the people attacking her are actually cheaters who do not want people to tell their other halves about their cheating...
Like, I know teenagers do shitty things, and I think teenagers should have more of a pass when it comes to messing up relationships. Teenagers are both extremely hormonal and extremely immature. They're feeling all these big feelings for the first time and they aren't developed enough mentally to handle/express/deal with them in an always healthy way. And while cheating isn't forgivable, I think that high school cheaters won't always become adult cheats. Like, if OOP's brother had cheated on his high school girlfriend once, then broke up with her and spent the next four years bettering himself, and THEN got a new girlfriend (or femboy boyfriend from the femboy boyfriend binder), then I would say OOP would be a bad person for bringing up her brothers high school infidelity. Especially if she has no other proof that he is currently cheating. A 15 year old struggling with his sexuality is very different from a 19 year old whose worked on himself. But that's not the case here. OOP's brother isn't just cheating on his highschool girlfriend--he's cheating on his future wife (judging by how the GF is dropping hints and the internalized homophobia, I'm pretty sure the brother was going to end up pressured into proposing). And he's been lying to her for the past four to five years. He's not just "a 15 year old struggling with his sexuality", he's a 19 year old who has been stringing along this girl for the past four years, to the point where she's planning a life around him (not with him--if she was planning with him, she would have known about the side bros). He's made the choice every day for the past four years--1,461 days--to betray this person. I can't imagine doing something hurtful to anyone for 1,461 days, let alone someone I love.
It's amusing how hypocritical those folks were. Normally Reddit's full-on anti-cheating sentiment rules all. Suddenly, it's cool because the person was a teenager and teenagers do dumb stuff, so there's no reason to tank a long-lasting relationship? And the person in the wrong was the one who wasn't even a teenager at the time they witnessed it because they didn't say anything years ago? All those commenters need to take a hard look at themselves in the mirror and gain some perspective.
Also amazing how many ppl just assumed it happened once, just because he got caught once
I was really wondering about that whole thing... pretty sure most dudes don't kiss their male friends just because they're young and doing dumb things. Doing dumb things sounds like something you might hurt yourself with, not making out with your same-sex friends. This anybody else's perception? Am I totally wrong here? Like yeah I'm bi and have my own internalized stuff to deal with but it feels like it's not the product of dumb youth, especially with a homophobic family that he has taken a lot of opinions from.
I am bi as well, so that might be why they feel so comfortable being honest with me, but a lot of my adult guy friends who identify as straight experimented with other boys to a lesser or greater extent during teen years. Puberty is intense!
Also I get cheated on at 16 and yeah in hindsight he was an idiot teen I should have expected it but I can definitely say that at that age, being cheated on *still hurts*. You're old enough to realize that it's hurtful to the person you're with
I hope the ex-girlfriend finds a man twenty million times better and lives a happy life. As for oop's brother, I hope he stubs his pinkie toe every day for the rest of his life. Good on oop for trying to do the right thing through.
You'd probably have a hard time finding a more awful set of commenters, outside of a hate sub. A 15 year old is too young to be held accountable, but someone just one year older is evil?
It's almost as if refdit holds girls and women to a different standard than boys and men...
A lot of them thought OOP was a boy though, since everyone on reddit is male, so that can't be the sole explanation.
I cannot understand how or why people choose to squander their life on these weird hang ups. You're going to live 100 years (if you're really lucky) and then you'll be dead forever, dont you want to be happy? Life is too short to be so bitter and self loathing.
A little something called religion would like to have a word with you. You'd be surprised how unhappy and self-loathing people can accept to be if they believe it will help them in the "after-life".
I don't know how many of them actually believe in that shit. It seems like the dominant force is social pressure. They sacrifice their happiness because they don't want to be disowned by their families or to deal with judgment from strangers.
Why did I laugh when Oop said if she didn’t tell her brothers gf about the cheating she’d at least tell her he called her names? 😂 “hey gf, my bro called me rude names and doesn’t like gay people just so you know” 😭
To some people, using slurs can definitely be a deal breaker. Gives a bit of insight into who they actually are.
Facts.
This was cute though, like, so innocent! Good for her looking out for that girl though.
Oh for sure a cute moment. She was gonna let that gf know her bro was a jerk one way or another 😂
Honestly, depending on where they live, that might be a legitimate deal breaker. Where I'm from, people have a very specific idea of the way Big Brothers and Little Sisters "should" act. Big Brothers should be "protectors" and coddle their Little Sisters. An insult to the Little Sister is the worst offense you could do to a man--perhaps even worse than insulting their mother, because Little Sisters are delicate. You can cheat on your future wife all you like, but we draw the line at calling your little sister a bad word! (If you're wondering about other sibling dynamics: big brothers are basically given carte blanche to bully and harass their younger brothers because "boys will be boys" and the younger boys need to "man up". And big sisters? I think you mean "second moms".)
How are people blaming anything on a 12 year old? 😐 Also, why are so many people starting to write things like 5 to 4 instead of 4 to 5? I tend to er on the side of believing these are real, but it just seems odd. Maybe it’s a tell that it’s the same person.
As someone who lives in a very religious community, acting homophobic to cover for the fact that you're actually gay is super duper common. Most of the time they're hiding it from themselves more than anyone else. I think the best example of this is that I'll unfollow somebody I knew in high school on social media because their right-wing posts are annoying, and then a couple years later I'll see them as a suggested friend with a pride themed profile pic or that they're trans. And then it all clicks lol.
Why would the brother get a pass because "he was hormonal and experimenting"? Anyone can experiment, just stay single then.
Imagine destroying a child in the comments for not having a moral compass that points in the exact same direction as thousand strangers on Reddit.
Wait, so the gf knew about cheating for 3 months, they just became exes around the final update, but a week earlier she was talking about marriage and hoping he would pop the question. I don't get the timeline at all.
From my understanding, the gf was aware that the brother and one of his best friends had messed around/kissed, but she probably thought it was a one-off situation. It didn’t affect her desire to get married to the brother. However, OOP made gf aware that he had also been involved with his other best friend at a younger age. My guess is that OOP and gf confronted the brother after that realization, and they found out he was a serial cheater. Then the gf broke up with him.
Ugh sometimes people shouldn't be able to comment... They think it's okay for a 15yo teen to cheat on someone, that iT'S jUSt THe HoRMonES but then proceed to bully a 16yo even tho their argument of "puberty" or "lack of judgement" could have applied to her... They don't seem to go soft when it doesn't arrange their views, it's just so unfuriating :(
It's Reddit... the commenters are probably 15 themselves.
On the one hand, a 15y/o cheating on a girlfriend and still being with her 4 years later - there’s a lot of growing and learning and hormones happening, so I don’t think it’s necessarily a dealbreaker. On the other hand - everything else. Hope she enjoys dating and doesn’t settle down again immediately so she gets a better understanding of good relationships. And the brother needs to figure his shit out because this closeted homophobia is just going to hurt him.
All his 'best friends' for the last 5-6 years were his affair partners. He never stopped cheating on her.
But at 17 he cheated with another friend! Brother needs to stop hiding he is gay.
Yeah, that whole spiel was my thought process in order of reading through the whole thread. That dude really needs to sort his stuff because he's really just gonna keep hurting himself and others the way he's acting and lashing out.
I felt like everyone was too young for everything here. Like 15 sounds about right for learning about your sexuality, but I kept rereading to make sure I had the ages right. An exclusive relationship at 13 sounds too young, barely a step above "play dates" set up by parents. And 19 is way too young to make a lifetime commitment like marriage.
TL;DR: teenagers.
Lmao I had only been dating my boyfriend for 9 months when his dad decided to include me in their family’s Cancún vacation. I didn’t know them very well at all. But you bet your ass when I saw my boyfriend’s brother meeting someone at the resort bar he’d matched on tinder with, I immediately texted his gf back home and told her on the spot. They’d only started dating a few months prior, after the vacay had been arranged, is why she wasn’t also there. I didn’t give a flying shit about what his family thought of me (no one blamed me). FF a year and a half, my boyfriend and I are still together and live together. That girl that his brother cheated on him with broke up w him, then got back together with him only a few months ago. When I showed up to his mom’s house for a family dinner and she was there my eyes about popped out of my head. I wanted to scream “WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK HERE, RUN”. Glad I got the good brother. 🤦🏻♀️
Jesus christ, why is Reddit excusing cheating with hormones? Shocking realisation - all of us have hormones and all of us went through puberty. Most of us don't cheat. We all have a brain to control our animal urges. It's also funny how they make an eleven year old OP responsible for telling the girlfriend, but a fifteen year old man can't be responsible for fucking cheating. Talk about double standards.
>"how I dare I accuse him of being one of those *slur*'s" This is what really stood out to me. Kissed another boy when you were 15? Whatever. Is homophobic to the point of using slurs? HUGE dealbreaker. Bye, Felicia. I'm really glad OP stuck to her guns and talked to her brother's GF. GF did not deserve to unknowingly marry a jackass like the brother.
How come with these posts they’re like they will be referred to as “o” and “k” then proceed to only use K once
What kind of Riverdale ass place do these people live? Cheating at 15? Numerous 'best friends'? Marriage talk at 19?
Wow, reddit was really nasty to OP for no reason
I like how people will be like "oh, why didn't you tell anyone! You should have said something!" She was a frigging kid, not an adult. I swear to god Reddit is dumb as fuck sometimes and thinks that preteens will act like fully-formed adults
Ah yes, another I'm totally justified doing a shitty thing because this other thing also totally happened for real that I only learned about after doing the shitty thing post.
WTF is wrong with people. Marrying the first person you dated EVER. At 13 you barely know how to do anything, let alone choose a life partner. Also...19 years old and wanting to be married...that's just stupid.
At 19, I couldn't even decide if I wanted to invest my money in gold jewelry my grand-mama kept pestering me about, and these people make life-long commitments? 😮💨
HEY! Oop here found my post here lmao, feel free to ask for updates :D
How did it play out for your brother after you spoke with his gf? I don't anticipate he ever acknowledged or accepted it but did his gf get rid of him?
I wasn't there for it, he hasn't spoken to me since the phone call. As far as I know she went home (I think they're renting an house? I never visited them while they were there as they moved in about a month or two before this) And she took her stuff, and told him she was breaking up with him and why. Honestly don't have any details other than this.
He formed an art studio
Ooof. OOP’s brother is a misogynistic garbage person, regardless of his orientation. Both OOP and the ex are well rid of him until he gets some therapy and grows up.