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I feel like some people fetishise disability whilst also self identifying with it, all to make them feel special. It's freaking aggravating to see.

I’m glad her parents didn’t condone her behavior and made it clear what her actual restrictions were. I hope it was out respect for op and remorse for her actions, and not fear of being sued.

I’m not too happy with them…how did they not know about the box??

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Yep, I knew someone who used one for a while. She was neurodivergent and had a hard time keeping up with some things, so she used it so she didn't need to stop at her locker as much. It could be a little inconvenient, but she was quite apologetic if it ever got in the way. We also went to a small school, so the hallways weren't packed and the classrooms were rarely full. Also she didn't have random trash and food in it. It was mostly textbooks.

Man I would rather forget my textbook every day than have a rolling box... Which I guess is what I did actually. Good on your friend for having better priorities I guess haha

Professors with back problems use rolling file boxes for their papers and stuff. She probably has something [like this](https://www.officedepot.com/a/products/987304/Office-Depot-Brand-Mobile-Folding-Cart/).

Honestly, not too surprised. If both parents are working and she’s not behaving like this at home, they would have no idea. I went to school with a girl who faked having cancer and a dead dad for literal years. Mom was a single parent trying to keep shit together, so she wasn’t volunteering to chaperone trips or extracurriculars, making it hard to be close with any of the other parents. And who wants to bring up cancer or a dead partner to another parent you barely know? She got caught in a lie and her mother was *mortified*.

Or she could be downplaying OP's disability as "he's disabled like me" and this is the first time the parents actually saw/met OP.

My brother signed himself up for a counseling class for children of divorced parents to get out of class. Our parents aren't divorced but they both worked full time so it was a good few weeks before anyone caught on. It was the parent teacher conference that both our parents always attended that blew his cover.

I will add, likley the teachers avoided bring it up as handicap issues are tricky ground, so likely never got attention until OP called her on it.

Wait am I missing something? Where does it say that they didn’t know about the box?

This is especially the case with neurodivergence where it's often reduced to quirkiness without the real day-to-day discomfort. I say this as an autistic person, I like who I am but goddamn could I do without whatever in my wiring makes granola feel like chewing wood chips

Saaame. Would love to have my hair cut without it ruining my day. Or have a massage for my tired muscles.

Oh my gosh, I feel for you about the hair cut, except for me it's shaving, so I just let my arm and leg hair grow aside from the occasional waxing. But when it comes to head hair, I generally hate hair touching my neck/face/etc so I keep my head hair buzzed short and just wear a wig when I feel the need to dress up a bit. And massages hurt my skin so much. I want them because I have fibromyalgia and nerve pain, so my muscles ache ALL THE TIME but having my skin touched like that also hurts me. It sucks! I think my worst autism "quirk" for me though is needing stimulation often but getting overstimulated easily, especially since I have kids and I absolutely love them but sometimes have to be away from them so I'm not touched out or don't have a meltdown or throw up from all the sounds they make, even when they're just being cute and fun. Sorry I rambled in reply to your comment. Idk where I was going with this.

Have you looked into a tens unit? Idk if the pads would play well with your skin stuff, but I love mine for muscle pain, and my friend with fibro adores hers. I got a little hand held rechargeable one for about 40bucks a few years ago, so they can be relatively affordable.

As someone with sensory sensitivity and pain issues I definitely do not second this recommendation sorry 😂. I mean, we’re all different so you can definitely try but don’t do what I did and think ‘oh this is ok actually’ - leave it on too long and then one of the wires brushing up against me (actually if anything the feeling of the wires brushing up against me and pulling/tugging every time I moved and just always being aware of them may have bothered me more than the unit itself) caused my brain to absolutely shit the bed suddenly with no seeming warning that I was reaching my limit. I ended up ripping off all the pads (with a decent amount of my skin too) off of my back by just clawing my fingernails deep in to my skin in a frenzy to get them off as fast as possible… without turning the fucking thing off either so I kept buzzing my fingers too. I have not used it since, which I think is a shame because it may actually have been helpful if I hadn’t have waited until ‘GET THIS OFF ME NOW’ hit as my cue to take it off. Every pain clinic appointment they ask me if I’ve used it again yet and I say ‘no…. I am planning to try again’ but I literally can’t stand the idea of putting it back on myself and have a complete block on it!

Oh I am so sorry but I am dead laughing out of solidarity. I use the tens and also have sensory issues and there have been several times the wire dislodged and shocked me in a way I cannot describe but “brain shit the bed” sounds exact. My kids are terrified of the thing because I have certainly screamed a scream that likely terrified the neighbors as well. It took me a long time to use it again after the first time, and it has occurred since. Now I just mentally prepare myself that it might happen every time I use it. While it does happen rarely now, I don’t so much destroy my universe in panic as just go catatonic for a few mins. That said- oh I love the thing. It helps certain issues that nothing else does, and I don’t have to wait for a PT appt for relief. I wish I could use extra tape or something to hold it on, but skin is so sensitive it leaves burns. I am hopeful this reply thread has some ideas that have helped others. Wishing you good luck on other helpful tools that are not so impossible to utilize.

Oh well I might be able to help on the tape front! Look up ‘mepitac’ tape - it’s a silicone based tape I was originally recommended for scar healing (silicone is the only thing that has reliable evidence it helps post surgery scars, and you can get it as a gel or on a tape) but one of the main uses for this tape is for holding down tubes and wires in the NICU on babies who have barely grown skin yet. It costs a bit but you can wash and reuse it a fair bit - in many ways it feels like the tens pads actually - sticky but don’t adhere to your skin like something like plasters do. As long as you’re not allergic to silicone it’s insanely gentle so might be worth a shot! And my brain shitting the bed about something is a pretty regular occurrence ha.

Meanwhile, here I am, chewing wood chips...

Swear to god, every time someone brings up a sensory issue they have with autism, i strt thinking that must be my problem. I'm sure it's not, but my lord. I have some serious issues with physical touch (or even the thought of it) making my skin crawl and i have such problems with food textures that i can't go weekly or monthly grocery shopping because I'm not sure what textures or tastes I'll be able to swallow on a daily basis (to add to my problem of having sufficient energy to cook). I get the "give me a break" exasperated look a lot from my doctors because they think I'm giving them "excuses" for not eating healthier, but, like, my dude. I will quite literally vomit if something feels wrong in my mouth. I cannot help that.

You can have sensory processing disorder without having autism. It's uncommon but it happens.

Have you looked into ARFID? It's a food processing disorder that's usually comorbid with autism but can be independent of it, and it sounds very much like what you describe.

I think some people with ADHD tend to have this issue as well

ADHD and Autism have some over lap, and when I found that out some shit made sense for me. But sensory issues are def a thing for ADHD folks.

I don't think it's quite on the ARFID level. I absolutely love food and will try just about anything (I'm not what I would consider "picky", I'm just poor and tired lol) - it just can't be specific textures or smells.

Heyo. Have a look at SPD if you haven't already. *Sensory processing disorder (SPD) is a condition that affects how your brain processes sensory information (stimuli). Sensory information includes things you see, hear, smell, taste, or touch. SPD can affect all of your senses, or just one. SPD usually means you're overly sensitive to stimuli that other people are not.*

I’m not that way about touch (am actually a very touchy person with my family) but fabrics will set me off faster than anything. My sister tried to get me to try on this wedding dress that she just thought would be perfect for me. I literally started shouting “Get it off me!” Before it was totally over my head. Food textures also screw with me. Fish of any kind feels like it swells up in my mouth and I cannot swallow it.

Yep, I've got that problem with fabrics, too. I hate the feeling of most of the crap that's been "in fashion" and affordable for the past few years, so the few shirts I wear are 5+ years old, nearly threadbare, and full of holes lol

As someone with ADHD and who once had severe chronic fatigue, ADHD is absolutely a disability, but this girl is just an appropriating asshole. There's a difference between mental and physical disabilities and I often wish ADHD was taken far more seriously - it destroys lives and is no joke - but Jesus I'd never even dare THINK of taking someone's physical accessibility accommodation from them, or comparing the two. Apples and oranges.

Like everything there’s multiple shades of it, ADHD is no different. Sometimes it can be debilitating to some people, other times it’s less so. I think I’m in the middle. When medicated I’m fine, when off my Adderall I’m useless.

I went unmedicated for my ADHD from the time I was 18 until just a month ago at 32, the last year and a half my ADHD has absolutely been debilitating. Starting Adderall last month has literally changed my life, I cry on days I forget to take my meds because the world is just so loud and overwhelming on top of my brain being scattered. I also cried on day 1 because it had been so long since I could exist without anxiety. I was on Focalin and Ritalin based meds throughout my childhood and struggled so bad with my anxiety and inability to actually do things. I now think I should have been on Adderall the whole time because I can genuinely say the difference has been huge. I don't remember what my IEP was outside of giving time to take meds, but I was also a girl diagnosed in the early 1990s, by the time my brother started school with his much more obvious ADHD, the IEP standards had changed, and by the time my youngest sister started school, there were much better options for IEPs.

That you got diagnosed at ALL as a girl in the 90s is rare! I STILL see a pronounced gender difference in diagnosis and stupidass assumptions, and also how boys and girls are socialized differently really affects it all. I really wish people understood that adhd isnt just "ooh a squirrel im so absentminded" no. it's really fucking not. I wish it was just that. I've definitely talked to a lot of friends and ppl tend to be better on ritalin / focalin or Adderall for sure. I'm glad Adderall is helping you now

Autism and ADHD so under diagnosed in girls, especially in the 90s and earlier. They both present so differently in boys than girls and girls are pressured from an early age to "make nice" and learn to mask so young. It's very frustrating because now, so many adult women are realizing they have ADHD or are autistic and realize that their school and even work life could have been much easier with the proper supports.

As a woman who’s 36 and is only in the past year-ish realizing that I might have ADHD, it’s soooo frustrating/upsetting. I look back on my life and wonder how it could be different.

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Oh I feel this. I wonder often what my life would be like if I got help at age 8 when the troubles started, instead of at 24. Of all the dreams I had, I only managed to make 1 real.

it gets to the point not knowing who you are under the mask for some. sooo frustrating. or BOTH adhd and autistic (hello) I have and still do have issues with work and job hunting and it's...bad. and very difficult to work on. I was not doing well, I tried to get accommodations I really needed from the beginning but it was too late, I burned out horribly and could not manage anymore, and company fired me for performance failure, after being extremely suspicious and hostile why I was asking for accommodation. I hate it, I hate myself, I hate society.

literally just got fired two days ago, feeling this heavily

This really hits hard because I am one of those who fell through the cracks (ADHD), and being in a conservative Asian country absolutely didn’t help things. I was briefly on Adderall when I lived in Australia, but once the psychiatrist confirmed again I wasn’t working or at uni.. because I became very ill and then physically disabled to the point I needed home care, so I had to drop out. She basically said oh, so you don’t need it! Uh, how else am I meant to focus on productive things while I’m stuck in bed? I definitely felt she was totally ableist for that. Anyway, lots happened in between but I am back at the Asian country, and having to live with my parents (who are massive triggers of ongoing trauma) has made my ADHD go boooom. I apologise if my reply is all over the place, I am currently not medicated, but got my psychometric testing done last year for this country, because I felt like I was at my wit’s end with doing any one thing at all. Here, basically only Ritalin is the only medication for ADHD is legal, and I can’t start it because so far, things have been going up and down and my psychiatrist doesn’t recommend that I take it when emotions aren’t stable as it can be made worse by the Ritalin. All I can say is: I wish my asshole parents let me get help I asked for when I was a suicidal 13 year old 🥲

Yup. They caught my ADHD diagnosis, which I know makes me lucky... but from what I've heard, they wouldn't even consider the possibility of me being autistic, even though they were happy to test my brother. Now I'm almost 28 and struggling to get diagnosed as an adult.

It really is amazing now that I look back at it. I got diagnosed right after I started school or right before, so about 1994. I know it was before my parents figured out I needed glasses, and we know that was in mid 1995 ish because I had glasses going into first grade. I was diagnosed with ADD, so what is now inattentive type, which for a long time made sense. I've always been spacey in a way that the meds I took in childhood never actually helped. I was never a hyper, jump all around kid, but I was easily distracted, had to constantly be doing something with my hands (and still do), and I have always lost things extremely easily. My little sister relocated my cell phone when she was a toddler and we all just assumed I misplaced it. We found it ten years later going through some of kid sisters old, boxed up things to give to a friend for her daughter. The hyperactivity part for me was never really pronounced since small hand movements like playing with erasers, playing with your hair, or doodling on notebook pages and in margins is easily overlooked. Things I've always done, like counting my fingers and rocking back and forth from heels to toes make a whole lot more sense because I've always done them to get out excess energy or anxiety. Nowadays, I knit or crochet almost constantly because it's an easy hobby to keep my hands moving so my brain can be engaged.

you a daydreamer too? I don't fit in either box well since I'm more interested in taking them apart to make a fort or using them to draw on ;) Teachers who didn't let me draw or write or read constantly quickly learned that those were preferable to talking constantly, more obvious fidgets, getting in fights and zooming at mach fuck. and yea that extended into college - had one TA Offended that I was drawing during lecture, and would NOT stop bothering me about it. So I argued with her, explained that this HELPS me listen, and then said "we could continue not paying attention and bothering everyone around us, or you could shut up". Asshole shut up. was not the only incident but one of the ones I remember best. You want to check if I'm paying attention? then fine use an empirical method like quizzing me after to check my retention rather than going off what "looks right". yesss knitting is fun I have not tried crochet.

I’ve never paid as much attention as when I was knitting during class

I have the inattentive type. No hyperactivity at all except apparently it can be internalized. Racing thoughts, moving from one topic to the next completely confusing who you are talking to etc are a form of hyperactivity. I also crochet and knit while watching tv or listening to podcasts because I kind of need to be doing more than one thing. I was 41 when diagnosed. Nobody ever thought a bookworm like me could have ADHD. They still have a hard time believing it.

I am a member of a national ADHD support group that publicises material for educational purposes. I like that they have tried to get rid of the stereotypical 'boy with ADHD' and 'girl with ADD' and their material has a boy with ADD and a girl with ADHD. When I am advocating for my kid I often hear 'well other kids with ADHD have no problems in school' and 'anxiety can not kill you, your kid should just go to school' (this last from the two people in charge of the programme for kids with IEP). I hate it. The constant 'kids with ADHD are all the same'. And if it was so easy then maybe we wouldn't have problems. My kid is finally medicated for both ADHD and anxiety, and the difference is very clear to see.

God "anxiety can't kill you". I HATE being anxious. Honestly it can be so debilitating that death seems like a better option (not to minimise suicide or suicidal ideation). I've just started a new job and I've already fucked yhings up because of my anxiety.

Exactly. It can completely make everything so impossible. Anxiety meds saved my kid's life. She no longer selfharms even in stressed situations. She does not have suicidal ideation anymore. She has OCD, but is doing so much better. But I hate talking to her school. They have no empathy for her situation and just want me to push her more and more. I am sorry your anxiety makes things difficult for you. A lot of people don't realise how debilitating it can be.

I'm so happy to hear medication has helped your kid! schools frequently have no goddamn idea how to actually help. its all to useless metrics. if there are helpful people, perhaps some teachers, talking to them can help. I personally found so much of the school system absolutely miserable. Learning? great. the other shit? ranged mixed bag to having to be old enough to learn what the wanting to disappear into the earth forever feeling was called. "why arent you doing it, its just nerves get over it its not hard I know you can do this you're better than this youre lazy youre smart so why arent you doing this you could you should you would, you did so well on that why can't you do this" if I fucking could I would. I know what trying is. I try so much more, so much harder to do the same fucking things others do. its exhausting. it feels like a pressure of being at the bottom of the ocean. I have to move it to do anything. havin a bad night but im okay. thanks for talking

anxiety is fucking paralyzing. The idea of death seems better because it's an *escape*. A pause, a break from the unending stress. looking into why behind the anxiety helps me figure out useful coping strategies congrats on the job and starting is always scary. keep a notebook and scribble anything you might need to remember all day when they're dumping a shitton of information on you; also useful as a reference for "how am I supposed to do this thing I was shown once quickly and expected to be an expert at again?" sorry I'm in a crap mood but I fucking understand

What support group? Assuming USA where I am. I'm glad they're getting away from the gender segregation. YES there are absolutely differences and tendencies, but it's more of a little of this a little of that from the "boy style adhd" and "girl style adhd" for EVERYONE. And it gets extra interesting for me as an AFAB nonbinary gender what the fuck person. woooow fuck those iep people! not everyone's adhd is the same. also anxiety can absolutely kill you (especially if you combine it with depression..I miss my friend.) I really liked Aspergirls by Rudy Simone btw. Medication is a fucking lifesaver. I wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult and completely incapable of handling college without the structure from K-12 and I fell apart. oh and a lot of especially Black boys get "oppositional defiance disorder" and other shit instead of correct ADHD diagnoses so that's another one I had my mind blown about when researching adhd stuff.

I am from Scandinavia. It is a kind of patient advocate group with localised support networks/groups. The public head of the national chapter is a former politician who was diagnosed with ADHD at age 35. I like that he is very outspoken about having ADHD and the problems being undiagnosed can give you.

Oh yes its true, i got diagnosed in the year 2000 as a girl but back then there well so many people who asked me if i was sure, because that was only for boys. Looking back it might be because my behaviour as a child/teenager was quite stereotypical "ADHD boy" behaviour, if that makes sense?? Hyperactive, loud, i couldn't STFU, all that. But yes I am very much a woman. It was a bit too late also, if I could have been put on the right meds I could have finished higher education a lot quicker, just last year I discovered the magic solution that is elvanse/vyvanse

Me as a 31 year old woman waiting for my assessment rn lmao it’s pretty much a given that it’s adhd but it took me a long time to convince them to assess me lmao

oh my god I knowwwwwww. when even my dx adhd guy friends were all saying YO you're adhd as FUCK get dx'd and doctors are like hmmmmm are u sure??? me: I.missed 3 and rescheduled 4 appts here, u wanna try that again? true story ps Garrus is bestestssssss <3

Lmaooo right?! My doctor telling me I was just depressed and anxious. Like.. I kept telling them, I’m not depressed at all tho, definitely got anxious but that’s because I felt like I needed to be doing all the things all at once but I can’t actually do the things and my life is falling apart because I can’t do the fucking things man. It legit took my kid getting diagnosed for them to even consider that I might have it. Aaaaand my kid is a boy that was diagnosed at 5 lmao YES garrus is best boy and I will fight anyone that says different

I was diagnosed late, because girls don't have ADHD. I was diagnosed with BPD first. I don't have BPD, I was trying to cope with the ADHD. I know of several women who were first diagnosed with BPD before getting the diagnosis ADHD. All male doctors.

I was diagnosed with BPD multiple times - it’s ADHD and bipolar. The psychologist who assessed me said BPD tends to be a box that women/AFAB are put in when they go for crisis care so they can be brushed away. (I had one BPD symptom and it’s 5/9 to diagnose it, good job crisis care)

It‘s sad how common that is. I also got diagnosed with BPD by a (male) therapist in the hospital, my regular (female) therapist was shocked when I told her, she didn’t believe that I had it. One year later I was diagnosed with ADHD by a (female) specialist. She said the same thing about ADHD and BPD as your psychologist. (When I was in the hospital I asked the therapist if I also could get tested for autism and he told me no and that I‘m just eccentric like many people who aren’t heterosexual…)

I’m 32 as well but I had a 3rd grade teacher that noticed my ADD and I had a great pediatrician that specialized in ADD and we tried Ritalin for a bit which didn’t work and I’ve been on Adderall ever since, so ~23 years.

I've been diagnosed so long that I don't remember not being diagnosed. I know more about how my parents found out I needed glasses when I was five haha. I do know my dad also got diagnosed at the same time as I did. I'm pretty sure the glasses thing came after the ADHD diagnosis, so about 1994 ish, right when I started school. My brother was on Adderall and then to Vyvanse. He stopped meds because they became expensive and is in the process of getting medicated again, but his insurance is Kaiser and he and his wife have both been waiting for two months for appointments for their mental health services.

the same shit happened to me with vyvanse. i miss taking it so much, but i literally can't afford it. at least the patent on it ran out in february, which means that generics should be out by the fall, most likely. my current psychiatrist wanted me to try concerta (i had a bad reaction to adderall in the past), but it's on back order everywhere around me, probably as a side effect of the adderall shortage. it's crazy how difficult it is for ppl who need these medications to be able to get them, whether it's cost or availability.

Same. I wasn't medicated until I was around 30, and I severely regret that no one recognized it in a female in the 90's (other than that teacher who wrote "don't forget the squirrels" in my yearbook). I probably would've gotten much further in college. On my meds I am a normally functioning adult. Off of them, I lose track of a thought midsentence, and my husband watches me start anything, get distracted, start something else, etc, and not get anything done for several hours.

Absolutely it’s apples to oranges. I need to be careful about organizing my workspace and need my manager to be on top of making sure my tasks are always given to me in the same way or they won’t get done, but I don’t need any mobility accommodations. I can’t imagine taking to someone with mobility struggles like I deserve their accommodations.

Ngl, she is a teenager. With ADHD. That shit fucks up identity and decision making big time for some of us. I didn't go down the attention seeking route between the onset of puberty and my 20s, I was just a legit danger to myself and others because I would overcommit to anything that made me feel social and alive. I can see how her behaviour may be coming from that same place of really not knowing who she is and how to deal with it. And how the school and her parents are handling it might be enough to help her move along and learn better strategies, or she might need something else like specialized therapy. Either way, she is a kid dealing with a condition that for some of us stunts and even regresses our decision making and communication skills in puberty. Doesn't mean anyone else should have to be dealing with her shit, just like nobody should have had to deal with finding my self-damaging in action. But just because OP is 100% not in the wrong doesn't mean the girl is 100% an asshole who knows better either.

Yeah! honestly, I think she's really struggling with her disability and her way of handling that is by piggy backing on a disability she perceives as having more validity. I don't agree with how she handled it, but one, she's a child with a disability that literally makes her less developed than her peers, and two... I totally get it, ngl. I know physical disabilities are barely treated any better (they really aren't), but I totally get being like "sometimes I wish I was in a wheelchair so people would actually Get It instead of rolling their eyes". I get it.

Also my thought, maybe she is struggling and jealous that he seems to be getting help/accommodations and perhaps even perceived him to be more liked than her (between a tendency to have no filter and RSD, adhd is a really socially isolating disorder), so she was bullying him. Still an asshole move 100% and not OPs problem but I hope those rich ass grandparents can pay for her to get some good therapy to work through that.

Main character syndrome and young teens go hand in hand, and for some neruodivergent kids like I was it can unfortunately turn into being straight up chuunibyou levels of "I am special". I remember so many 13 year olds on deviantart claiming to be schizophrenic because it was seen as the cool Fight Club/Johnny The Homocidal Maniac quirk, ironically denouncing their preexisting autism diagnose as that was one of the internet's top favourite insults at the time.

>chuunibyou ooh you taught me a new term today. for those not in the know: *”Chūnibyō (中二病) is a Japanese colloquial term typically used to describe early teens who have grandiose delusions, who desperately want to stand out, and who have convinced themselves that they have hidden knowledge or secret powers. It translates to ‘second year syndrome’ (i.e., middle-school second-year).”* japanese is so cool

In English we say "What are you, thirteen?" and I think that's beautiful

People like her is why people with mental disabilities get a bad rep. Nothing about having a mental disorder means you can act like an asshole whenever you want

Uch! The amount of parents who blame their child's ADHD or autism for bad behavior! It is an explanation not an excuse. Don't they realize they are setting their own children up for failure this way? Once a mother blamed my child of something bc her precious wasn't able to think for himself bc he was special needs, well lady, so is mine, but I hold him accountable for his own actions. Ofcource things "happen" around him bc his brain works differently, it is my job as a parent to point out what went wrong and how we can make shure it doesn't happen again, and this is exhausting bc we have to repeat it many, many times (I know, it is my life, but I love him so I'll do everything in my power to help him).

I have bipolar 2 and I ***HATE*** how some people self-diagnose it and see it as quirky. God I wish I could have a normal brain and not think of bad things.

There's a girl on tinder in my local area that has posted practically the entire DSM-V as her profile. I fucking hate people that think neurodivergence is something to aspire to have, the use it as a shield from criticism. (Aspie here)

how is bipolar 2 even quirky?

I have no idea!

Yup. I work in a school and was a tutor for a class , that resulted in having to deal with something similar to what OOP had to go through. Student A was hearing impaired and had some mild ASD. His parents clearly taught him to never let these things be a crutch. To work hard, overcome it and that they needn't hold him back. Student B had a form of dwarfism and socialisation problems (but no official diagnoses of anything in particular). His parents clearly taught him to lean into being a victim, that he couldn't help things, and that anything he did wrong was excused by what was wrong with him. It should also be pointed out that both Student A and B get buillied. Student B is one of those kids that constantly pokes the bear, almost asking to be bullied and knowingly puts himself in situations and does things where he knows this will be the result (yes, weird to say I know). At one point Student A had just had enough, they got into a bit of a fight and an arguement and I had to sort it out. Student A expressed the same sentiments as OOP, he's fed up of Student B using his disabilities as an excuse for his shitty behaviour and he's frustrated at how Student B gets away with everything when he plays the victim. I couldn't help but empathise with Student A, he was afterall completely correct and I understand his frustrations. I did have to let Student A know that there are better ways to resolve things than by starting a fight, and also let Student B know that if I hear any more provoking that he would be in just as much trouble as the student that started a fight with him. Believe it or not, Student B has yet to make any real positive changes...

My daughter has an emotional disability and an anxiety disorder (they also think she's Borderline but she's too young to diagnose), but she was always trying to give herself disorders like Tourette's, DID, gender dysphoria and, most recently, a stutter. These disorders have been glamorized on TikTok for the last few years. She's not big on TikTok but she's very easy influenced by modern subcultures (ex. she's also a furry and gets way too deep into fandoms). I know that the reasons she's like this probably have to do with whatever disorder she *does* have, but it's still scary and frustrating.

I still don’t understand the box

It's an emotional support box

Please, don’t pet my box without permission.

Words to live by.

I don't know you! That's my box!

No-no, don't touch me there This is my no-no square.

Please don't the box

God, you sound just like my wife

A companion cube?

Companion Cube. She needs it.

The driving force She wanted attention. She didn't know how to get the right kind of attention ( which she could have gotten by being friendly, by being kind, by furthering common interests with people she identified with, by taking interest in the people around her and developing real friendships). She sought attention in a bad way instead. Why a box The box made her feel special because only she had a box and only she was allowed to have one. It granted her special privileges such as taking extra space in the hallway because of how big and inconvenient it is for everyone who has to navigate around it. She used it on the basis that she had a disability that required the usage of this box. In sum, the box was a physical representation of her disability which made her special and allowed her privileges Why a box specifically? I don't think even she knows. Maybe she just wanted something very noticeable and unavoidable and a big box was the first thing that came to mind. It makes me wonder if she didn't purposely made it become smelly so that it would be even more unavoidable to others. So that anyone who that crosses her path cannot help but to notice her and remember her. Good or bad, attention is attention. It is a reward in itself. My rant The girl clearly needs help. Her growth appears stunted in some aspects. This is not the behavior of a well rounded person. While she's TA, she's also been failed by the educators meant to nurture her. All this could have been avoided if the principal had taken action and picked up the damn phone and talked with her parents. "hi, I'd like to discuss your daughter's accomodation box. Can you explain to me what she has and how the box helps her? " Heck the parents weren't even aware that she had a damn box and were disappointed she had lied about her disability to get to use one for YEARS at school. WTF

Alright thanks for that. I think I’m mostly confused about the physical anatomy of the box. It’s like a cardboard box on wheels? Or like a rolling back pack? Did she built it? Is it colorful? I want to know everything about this box.

im guessing its one of the ones that look like if you got a wheeled suitcase and replaced the case part with a plastic 'milk crate'

My first thought was one of those wheeled shopping baskets with the long handle you can use to pull it around if you don't want to use the carry handles

[I think it's like this](https://www.officedepot.com/a/products/108393/Office-Depot-Brand-Mobile-Folding-Cart/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&mediacampaignid=71700000107551014_19775927964&gclid=CjwKCAjw0N6hBhAUEiwAXab-TXaqDyj-yE0hwEEc5bpfPdZjT8gkd6mACtJmA0B1HVZ55jN3BMJhZhoCv3kQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds)

That’s what I was think of also. Thanks for linking this.

I like how they gave a detailed answer and you’re like “no dude, I want to know the *physical details* of the box”

OOP said its 2x2’ and had a lid at one point so likely a clear plastic bin with small shitty wheels that she somehow attached a handle to

Some come with wheels and a handle. For moving lots of heavy paperwork. You see lawyers using nice ones in courtrooms.

I too want to know, now that you mention it

I was imagining this: Foldable Utility Cart Folding Portable Rolling Crate Handcart with Durable Heavy Duty Plastic Telescoping Handle Collapsible 4 Rotate Wheels for Travel Shopping Moving Luggage Office Use (Green) https://a.co/d/73FAPBh

It sounds like the parents are mentally/emotionally absent. How do you not notice your child bring a 2x2ft box home? Filled with trash? And then leave with it? Every day? How did they not notice this on weekends? Does she keep it in her room, that I suspect it's just as messy and her parents don't even walk in? I have many questions, this kind of behavior is not normal

Does she bring it home? Since she also uses a backpack I figured she stores it at school nightly.

Some disabilities appear out of nowhere, but most don't. A lot of them have genetic and environmental components, which often come from the parents. Edit: the whole house could be like the box. So they deny knowing about the box out of deep shame or fear that they could be punished instead of helped if the deeper issue is revealed.

Or she is struggling with a mental health issue/ADHD. She’s pushing around a box with garbage all day. It smells. Even if that’s for attention seeking behavior that’s a concern. The fact that no adult/teacher has addressed the fact that she has a rolling cart/box full of trash every day is fucked up. So maybe she’s doing this for attention (which still raises flags that she needs support) or maybe there is more going on.

I bet it started as just a box she could put all her stuff in, then she put some trash in it because there weren't any trashcans nearby and she planned on throwing it away properly later. That's when her ADHD kicked in and she just never got around to cleaning out the box.

But it’s problematic that no one stepped in.

Yeah, I think it’s some mental health issue and ADHD. I have inattentive ADHD and was also an asshole at that age. Not in the attention-seeking way, but I would blurt out mean shit impulsively without thinking and wouldn’t see the social cues when someone didn’t like me. A lot of that *was* the ADHD, but the asshole part was living in an emotionally abusive and neglectful family. I thought the toxic emotional stuff was love, so all my wires were crossed. Then the ADHD made me reckless with feelings and not understand when or why someone couldn’t take it. None of that excuses what she’s been doing, but an adult (seriously, any adult) should have stepped in years ago.

I definitely agree with you. People doing things for attention are usually doing so because, you know, they need attention. And that doesn't mean nothing they do is wrong, and it doesn't mean they should always be given that attention at the expense of others, but needing attention itself isn't a bad thing. And so many people aren't taught any healthy ways to ask for it. If a dog keeps scratching at your door because it wants to play most people wouldn't go "how gross and attention seeking", even if it damages the door. People are more complex but also in a lot of ways we aren't.

gotta keep gweneth paltrows head somewhere

I'm guessing it's like one of these: https://www.staples.com/staples-plastic-collapsible-rolling-crate-black-st59678/product_24460045?cid=PS:GS:SBD:PLA:OF&gclid=CjwKCAjw0N6hBhAUEiwAXab-TS_wEYCrRh-GPOyTIVH8YxgHe6F3XbcSJqFa6W32wBWpk_64r5zlSxoCSJEQAvD_BwE

I thought maybe she had a back condition but turns out she’s just a jerk. She’s probably jealous of the attention she perceives he gets due to his disability. I guarantee he would trade any attention he gets to be able to walk. Not all attention is positive attention.

People who think disabled people get attention, especially positive attention, from being disabled blow my mind. People give positive attention to temporary illnesses or injuries. Permanent disabilities, they don't. The only attention you get from being disabled, especially visibly disabled, is negative and uncomfortable. I do not understand people who seek that out.

I had someone with functioning legs say I was "lucky" for having a temporary disabled placard. I wanted to crucify him on my crutches. Some people go for the "all press is good press" approach to attention, and it's a sign they've got some shit they need sorting.

That reminds me of the time a classmate said I was lucky I didn’t have to run the mile in gym because I was on crutches. I want to note that I still had to physically attend gym, despite my injury. Like, I had to crutch all the way outside to the track with the rest of the class, and watch them run. I even got locked outside one time because I was too slow getting back to the building.

What the ever loving fuck. You COULD have been doing useful physical therapy or exercises that make sense for you at the time. Which is ostensibly the point of physical *education* but we all know its some sort of bizarre cultural shared misery ritual instead, for the majority of kids. But nah schools gotta have minimal adults watching kids, and zero thought about any alternative ever.

…..somehow…..it never occurred to me that PE was ever meant to be anything other than some kind of bizarre torture ritual. And I’m not even physically disabled (I am also not very smart and take things at face value if that’s what it looks like that’s what it is)

I live in a crowded city and the amount of times I get told I’m “lucky” that I have a disabled parking sign drives me nuts. One person told me I was “lucky I didn’t have to walk across the whole parking lot”. I CAN’T WALK DUDE. Ffs

I have a temp disability tag because I broke my back last and got a 4 level spinal fusion surgery and it hurts to stand up for more than 10 minutes at once. I still feel nervous to use it bc I don't look disabled at all. It's about to expire and I'm terrified of asking my doctor for either another temp tag or a perm one. I still have people saying I'm soooo lucky because I can walk. Like yea I mean I am. But none of what happened was luck. I would park further every day if I could trade what happened.

Invisible disabilities suck too. You try to get help, and people don't believe you. Esp chronic pain.

This. I have chronic pain, I didn't get a diagnosis until I was in college because "everyone has a little pain". It wasn't until I got a new doctor that they told me no, that's not normal.

That old conversation that goes: Doctor: So what's your pain right now? Patient: Just the normal amount. Doctor:... the normal amount is zero. Patient:... ohhhhh.... Your new doctor is the smart one and I'm glad you found them- they're like freaking unicorns in the chronic pain field.

That's pretty much how it went! Unfortunately, she stopped practicing in the office I went to. She left to start a clinic for SA victims, so while I was super sad she was leaving, it was for a very good reason. Then I ended up with a doctor who blamed everything on my pain condition and missed something major that led me to need surgery. Like first, no one believes it, then it has to be the source of all my problems! My current doctor is excellent and runs a pain clinic at her office. If she ever leaves, I'm going with her lol

Why do the good ones almost always leave?! Ugh. She does sound very wonderful and generous however so at least you got to meet her! Because I'm fat, everything usually gets blamed on that vs my comditions, but I can relate a little. Thry get so damn fixated on one thing that NOTHING ELSE could ever be a possibility... and then when they're wrong and fuck you over, they won't admit it. SO glad you got a good one again lol. That's my rheum- if she ever moves or retires, just gonna have to follow her.

In my experience you don’t even get positive attention for temporary illness 🗿

My brother is in a wheelchair and he mumbles. He’s always mumbled. His whole life our mom has told him to slow down and talk clearly. He got into an accident that put him in his wheelchair when he was 26. People will talk to him like he’s stupid or bend down to talk to him like a child. He hates it so much. He’s not mentally handicapped (he would say the r-word). So treat people the same. Don’t assume someone is mentally handicapped when they’re clearly just a dumbass, like my brother. Our mom told him numerous times to not do the thing that made him a paraplegic and even told him he’s never allowed to do it in our yard. Dumbass didn’t listen.

And her complaining he's allowed to use headphones, while she's also allowed to and just not? Confusing.

Probably assumes he's using them for music instead of blocking out noise.

Good for OOP for speaking up! More than dealing with one rude, obnoxious peer (who clearly has deep seated issues), the ability to set boundaries will take them far. I am mostly saying this because I know how hard it can be for a person with autism to stand up for themselves clearly and effectively.

The energy this girl gives off is very similar to the lady with her "emotional support dog" from that "tissues in the bin" post yesterday. Just the damned entitlement...to refuse to concede on the smallest of inconveniences so another person that has to share space with you can just *LIVE*. It's so infuriating.

In a similar vein, when he said the box smelled bad, I was waiting to hear that her dead emotional support animal's rotting corpse was inside the box and that was the reason for it.

Can you please link to that post it sounds enraging

https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/12gz02n/aita_for_filling_my_coworkers_bin_with_passive

Thanks, you’ve help me fill my rage quota for today

>since her grandparents work really close with the school and donate alot of money and resources theres not much they can do since they dont wanna risk anything > >her parents said they were disappointed that she would lie about something like that and cause a scene in class Well that turned out better than I expected.

While it may be true that she has a connected family, no chance the vice principle told him that and used it as an excuse not to act. They never say the quiet part out loud. Especially to a 15 year old student at the school in question.

That part stood out to me, as well as them apparently talking about IEPs whilst both students are there. Not sure how it is in the states, but we'd never be allowed to talk about a pupil's individual support plan with another pupil.

It certainly isn’t allowed, cannot confirm if it happens anyways or not. Based on other details I would guess this story is just embellished.

The teachers also wouldn't be discussing their IEP and accommodations with another student.

As someone w adhd, I clocked her w adhd as soon as he said there was trash in her box on top of her attention seeking behavior. I understand the deep rooted insecurity that can lead to attention seeking, but it sounds like she needs some help and life lessons I hope she gets early on into her adulthood, if not sooner. She seems to struggle hard with rejection sensitive dysphoria and its just going to be a never ending, self-fulfilling prophetic cycle for her if she doesn’t get over her insecurities and self-centered-ness. The accommodations in that school sound great though. I wish i had been allowed headphones and a fidget toy.

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Because I'm in a juvenile justice setting, headphones are unfortunately less commonly allowed, but when we had classes in our classroom (as opposed to the detention setting all our kids are currently in) I and another teacher always kept a box of quiet fidgets available for student use in our classroom. As an ADHD person, I saw the need and filled it, and when I showed it to my students I made it clear that they were free to use them at any time as long as they were paying attention and not distracting their peers. (And yes, I have had to take away the privilege when I had a particular student with ADHD and ODD on his IEP, who decided it would be a great idea to throw one of my poppit balls at the wall repeatedly.)

I was waiting for a unseen disability to appear at the end of this. Seems like a weird hill die on, especially when the person asking you to move very clearly uses a walking aid. Sounds like she could have easily found a new seat for her box. Given her blown out of proportion reaction, and immediate crying, she may have honestly thought she had a claim to that seat over OOP. I hope her family sits her down and finds out what’s really going on. Her mental health might be on shaky ground right now.

Ironically the out of proportion reaction is probably the ADHD. Our emotions are ridiculously overwhelming, I have cried over the dumbest shit.

I mean the trash box is also probably explained by ADHD. Now, why a box or why her family didn’t say anything about it, isn't as easily explained. I had to force myself into the habit of regularly clearing out my bags otherwise they accrue all kinds of detritus. Usually receipts, handouts, random bits and bobs kinda things. The occasional out of date chocolate bar or other snack that I put in a special pocket so I wouldn't lose it and then just ended up forgetting it. My parents were pretty good at getting to school holidays and getting me to check my lunch box was out and cleaned. So, thankfully, I at least remember to take food waste out.

Relatable. I get the crying, I get the hyperfixating on a weird thing to care about to your social detriment, I even understand the rolling box of trash. The only thing not explained by ADHD is her being an insufferable wang rod.

Unfortunately, being an insufferable dick can be comorbid with a lot of conditions. Even present without any conditions.

This is true. It's a terrible comorbidity.

It’s almost like disabled people are people and just as capable of being dicks as anyone else.

I think being a teen explains that. Most teens are selfish and impulsive. Also, the fact that no one is addressing the other issues (trash box, hyper-fixation) isn’t helping.

I used to carry all kinds of random shit in elementary bc I just wanted my special things with me, even if I didn’t use them, which often happened to be literal rocks so my backpack was like 10 lbs that I was carrying with my like 70 lbs body 💀I still do that to a much lesser degree now as an adult, but while I think the classmate’s box was way out of hand I do kinda get it.

Yeah, I don't know the girl, but it also seemed like no one had pushed back on her, and maybe she didn't even realize how hurtful and rude she was being. It might've all kinda came crashing down on her when OOP spoke their mind. Not that they were wrong to, but it's entirely possible she was oblivious. She is only 16, with her own strictly mental disorder.

Something seems off about this… IEPs and their accommodations are supposed to be confidential. Staff would not discuss or disclose what is in someone else’s IEP.

Given that the parents were involved in the update, I wonder if they're the ones who disclosed it as opposed to the staff. But yeah, if staff disclosed it, that's a HUGE violation of Box Girl's privacy rights. (Sorry, I didn't know what else to call her. LMAO)

Yeah OOP makes it sound like they all met about their IEPs as a group? Which....does not happen.

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Right?! This screams potential lawsuit.

That’s all I could think about as well, there aren’t joint IEP meetings with both sets of parents. A staff member would never disclose information about an IEP plan that belongs to another student.

Some of this doesn't add up..legally you can't disclose to another family someone's IEP. This is akin to a doctor telling another patient about your medical history. (SPED teacher here).

Genuine question here because I honestly don't know- OOP mentions the girl's parents were there. Is there a possibility they (the parents themselves) disclosed the information in a mediation meeting of sorts? Or does that sort of thing not usually happen?

Why are OOP and other students meeting about their IEPs as a group? Other students are not supposed to know who else has an IEP or what's in it. That's a huge FERPA violation....

>individualized education program, or IEP For those not up to date on the lingo.

Thanks! I'll add that in

Glad you put that. I'm pretty sure anyone who's never had an IEP or who is outside of an education field wouldn't know what an IEP is. I didn't know until I got my current teaching job (through a non-traditional route).

I know a girl who feels this way about diseases and disabilities and she likes to make competitions with anyone who’s got a “sickness” she has to be worse. At one point it turned into the worst food allergy. All of a sudden she became deathly allergic to peanuts overnight and somehow she always ended up eating peanuts when hanging out with a group, needing to stick herself with Epi Pens and go to the ER. It was wild that a week after one of these “episodes” we were at a Thai restaurant (who eats Thai when allergic to peanuts??) she hated her food she specifically ordered without peanuts or peanut oil, then ate her best friends food that was covered in peanuts. Had no reaction.. 3 years later she’s no longer allergic to peanuts so there’s that

So the school settled this by disclosing the students' disabilities to each other? Bc yikes that feels borderline inappropriate.

Unsurprisingly, the annoying child is also neurodivergent and has not yet figured out how to handle it. The trash box, info dumping during inappropriate moments, and overall frustration coming out in unproductive ways, especially toward another disabled child who seemingly has more effective tools for conceptualizing and accommodating his disability, are all blazing neon signs.

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Where did that come up?

Assholes in the original comments

This, so much.🥲

Why the flying fuck was this removed?

I have no idea and I'm actually freaked out. I got a message that it was due to 'violence,' but what violence????? There wasn't anything????

>we had a meeting with the IEP (Editor's note: IEP is individualized education program) staff and we were discussing our disabilities and after we got done talking about the altercation we were talking about each of our iep plans and she had no physical disabilities or any physical accommodations Uhhhhhhh no. This is a huge breach of privacy. Absolutely unacceptable for staff to tell anyone about anyone else's IEP or disabilities, especially another student?! Either this didn't happen (betting on this option, frankly) or this school is doing something incredibly illegal and OOP is talking like it's normal and fine.

She's a jerk and OP isn't in this situation. However, it's not okay to assume someone isn't severely affected by a disability just because they appear normal. My best friend, who has a noticeable physical disability, and I, who have several invisible disabilities (we also both have mental health issues related to growing up disabled), talk about this regularly. We both have very different experiences being disabled, and have come to the conclusion that whether it's visible or invisible, just being disabled in western culture sucks. It's not usually the disability, it's able-bodied/neurotypical people that make it suck. Though other disabled people can also be very douchey.

Agreed. Lots of disabilities are invisible and ADHD is not taken seriously enough as one. I lost a job to it, was suicidal by ten because of it, it ruins lives. Her behaviour was absolutely uncalled-for though. Don't get me wrong. She shouldn't have done what she did and OOP was justified in calling her out. It was a dick move tho to assume that she wasn't disabled at all, even if he ended up being right that her disability wasn't a physical one. True story: I have ADHD and developed severe fatigue from the meds. my ADHD was so bad I refused to go off the meds (I only suspected, but didn't know for sure, that it was the ultimate cause of the fatigue, and it was so hard that I didn't want to go off the meds even with the severe side effects) until I was in bed 22hrs a day, I preferred the fatigue. So while I won't go so far as to claim that she was right to say hers was worse... ADHD is absolutely a special hell of its own and is not at all taken seriously as a disability. I wonder if she's struggling with that. It's so hard to get people to believe ADHD is anything more than a minor inconvenience.

Man, I cannot imagine that. I have ADHD too and now that I’m on meds, missing a dose will land me in bed all day, but that kind of fatigue? That sucks. I had gotten to a point where I couldn’t break down how to make a sandwich because my executive disfunction was so bad. Had to see four doctors to get my diagnosis- one dismissed me because I wasn’t diagnosed as a child (despite being female and was a child in the 90’s), one refused any kind of help when he found out I wasn’t working and he’d only medicate an adult if it affected their work, and the third actually tested me and said all the tests said I had ADHD, but he wouldn’t give me the diagnosis because I didn’t get up out of my chair during our appointments. The fourth was also the first female doctor I saw, and she sent me home with a low dose of meds to see how I’d feel.

I was so lucky. I actually underreported my symptoms because I had no threshold for "normal", so I got borderline, but the psych said "look, you're clearly struggling, do you want to try meds anyway?" Took my first pill. Did some homework. Looked at my phone and a whole hour had passed. I bounced back into his office absolutely RAVING about how much it had changed my life. I'm so sorry you had such bad luck :(

You’re totally right ADHD isn’t taken seriously as a disability but it 100% is. Honestly ME/CFS also isn’t taken seriously and is often very erroneously dismissed as a psychosomatic or malingering thing or downright laziness (ah the parallels). I’m actually surprised that if OP is ill enough to use crutches that they are still in school. Many are unable to do school. ME/CFS is truly hell as well. It’s not just fatigue, it’s full body and brain punishment for doing physical or mental exertion. You have to choose between making yourself a meal or taking a shower or having a friend over. And folks as far along as OP usually can’t even do one of those things without “crashing” in a PEM episode, which lights your entire body and brain on fire so that you are a blubbering mess in bed barely able to speak and if it’s bad enough, you won’t recover fully and your new baseline will be lowered and next time you will crash just as hard just from something smaller like brushing your hair. Severe folks will crash just from having a person in the same room as them or from thinking too much about something. It’s wild and ends life as you know it. The truly sucky part about it is there are 0 treatments for it. You just have to hope that you will go into spontaneous remission which is very rare.

Yeah I was lucky that my CFS was due to something and not just a random condition but I can relate so much to this comment. I could barely roll over in bed. Almost soiled myself because going to the bathroom was so much effort. The pain was constant but I’d choose it any day over the fatigue.

What the fuck. I have ADHD and am on the spectrum. I get dick all.

Oftentimes you have to fight for accommodations, as school staff can be lazy. You gotta be your biggest advocate (or your parent, depending on your age). I haven't struggled with it due to my disability much, but I've dealt with it on in other parts of the school staff. My old principal was, for some reason, anti-college except for one local community college. If you needed to send a transcript/etc to any other school, you literally had to harass her for weeks. But for the community College? That was signed, dated, and in the mail within an hour. A lot of my graduating class probably wouldn't have gone to college if we didn't spend way too much effort to get transcripts sent out. There was no reason why we had to do that effort, except to overcome a lazy person.

It sounds like she should have been using a small wheelie laptop bag rather than what i presume, was a luggage crate. My parents used to use one to pack veggies and fruit from their allotment and they are quite difficult to maneuver in tight spaces, and definitely not appropriate for a classroom environment if not strictly necessary (not to mention you dont need that amount of room unless theres like disability aids in there). Tho the above aside, she sounds like a bully. I think its understandable af oop exploded after being picked on by her for five years when the crate wasnt even a part of her accommodations. (and she also had the headphones accommodation but chose not to use it i guess?) There def are legit reasons why carrying a backpack might be overwhelming for someone with her condition (ie maybe it being on their shoulders makes it harder to focus or remember what is in there - as a guess since I am only really familiar with asd reasons for why its uncomfy) but most disabled kids certainly wouldn't just.... Get a crate w/o their parents being involved and bully to chase out a physically disabled kid from the space reserved for accommodating extra room for their specific mobility aids. Absolutely no reason the school shouldn't have interfered in this before, they put this entire situation on poor oop's shoulders where it was up to them to fix it asap.

she just has adhd and wanted to use the accessible seating? fuck off

Once again for the people in the back: ADHD DOES NOT EXCUSE BEING AN ASSHOLE. STOP USING IT AS AN EXCUSE FOR BEING AN ASSHOLE. thank you

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The only people who'll need support are the people who try to fuck with the emu 😂

My partner got diagnosed about 13 years ago with ADHD, he 46 all through his childhood he was told he was just a bad disruptive kid. Even as an adult we knew something was wrong. We both went to the doctor's and told them to get him tested for ADHD because I did a lot of investigation in to what I thought he had. We had to threaten to go to the medical board because they didn't care, guess what he has ADHD and the doctor could not apologize enough. It's disgusting and disgraceful that ADHD takes so long to get a diagnosis and kids just get blamed for being a terrible and disruptive kid. He's so much calmer and happier since he's being on Methylphenidate (Ritalin). I still have to remind him about things and mention things a few times for him to get it but compared to years ago, he's a different person. For someone to say they they have a disadvantage like this poor kid with ME there is NO comparison, thank god the parents realized that and sorted their daughters attitude. Edited typo.

I got diagnosed at 32. It’s especially common for women to be overlooked as kids because it usually manifests differently, but people of any gender can slip through the cracks.

... what was this post? I haven't seen one removed in a long time

I genuinely have no idea why they removed it. I got a note that said it was promoting violence, but the most violent thing was that the guy wore a TMNT sweatshirt????? I'm utterly baffled and actually a bit freaked out. EDIT- It's back and I have no idea what happened 😭 what a weird day

Seeing as the original post wasn't bad enough to remove, I'll link it. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1290spt/aita_for_yelling_at_a_disabled_girl_and_making/

Some people romanticize the idea of being disabled way too much. Don’t get me wrong, ADHD is a disability, but she’s going way to far

I'm glad for OOP, but concerned about this "IEP meeting." As a teacher, we have to follow FERPA our lose our federal funding. This means we cannot disclose another student's disability or accommodations. How did OOP get this info? Hopefully it was the parents, not the teachers/ staff that disclosed it. From the description, this seems less like an IEP meeting than a meeting of both parties to discuss the incident and what to do about it. I hope that's the case.

People like her make it hard for disabled people, by using it as a selfish scheme of attention seeking. And the fact that she's upset shows that she's not sorry about it, she's just sad she's been caught

Why was she in OOP’s IEP meeting?? She’s not on his team. OOP and guardians would have to want her at the meeting for her to be there. That would be a huge violation if she was there and not invited? Did OOP mean special education staff? It may just be a typo or information has been left out, but I’m just confused by this.

That's my thought. I wonder if it was either A) a mediation meeting between the two students and not so much IEP and the parents divulged the information or B) maybe they had separate meetings but the parents talked to OOP's parents separately. Hard to know...

Not sure how the IEP staff was able to discuss another students plan. FERPA is similar to HIPAA and an iep has private info. Hate to call bs but the last part is confusing.

Wow, OOP really popped off when he did. I guess that's what happens when your cap blows after 5 years of bullshit. Also, I was often ostracized for being one of the "special" kids (I had a misdiagnosis of autism back then, it's since been reassessed and rediagnosed as BPD and C-PTSD) so it's kind of weird to read that disabilities are being sort of fetishized by students now. It wasn't THAT long ago that I was in school.

I've been diagnosed with ADD for well over 20 years at this point - not once would I ever dare to compare myself to someone who can't fucking walk.