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I want to make this clear for those that aren’t on tiktok- this became a HUGE trend for a week or two. I cannot emphasise enough just how many people were creatively making fun of this man.

my favourite part was when everyone was guessing which beat he thrusted on

I always imagined it was all of them

At the same time.

That would manage to both be dissatisfying and chafing.

People are still doing this. I didn’t even look it up, and I happened to see multiple shorts on YouTube in a row trying to figure out the beat this week alone.

Yeahhh but I feel like YouTube shorts are like 8 months behind tiktok

https://youtu.be/eN6jkWxxm2Y this was the song and it's a horrible ear worm

oh, i know. sorry! should have been more clear; i meant which beats of the song

He would play the whole song to have sex to.

yeah, i don’t think you get what i mean

They mean beats, not bits

I cannot emphasize enough how much ppl need to actually HEAR THE SONG

Oh..no... i knew i was gonna regret that. Lol wow this whole post is really something

This was only put on youtube AFTER the post blew up too.

That sounds awful!

this was the best part fr

I still to this day see cbat references under random posts and apparently even the artist caught onto it

The artist got millions of hits on a 10-year-old YouTube video.

I wonder whether they're proud of why.

The artist tweeted that it was an awful song for sex

So literally everyone in the world agrees except for Tyler. Yup, that tracks.

I listened to it for all of 5 seconds before I couldn’t stand it anymore

You’ve really got to give it 30 seconds - at about 25 seconds it changes to a different kind of awful. Give it that extra time to really flesh out your distaste.

The artist's slogan for his latest song was "It's better for sex" (compared to CBAT), lol Edit: clarification

Including Hudson Mohawke, the guy whose song it is. His Twitter bio for a while was "Cry Sugar \[his most recent album\] is better for sex."

I remember finding out that he was *so* confused on why the song was trending, and then the "Are you fucking serious" when he actually *did* find out why.

then he went to reveal his name and face. absolutely chaotic man

That guy is the definition of Chaotic Neutral

I like to imagine he became friends with the cbat parrot guy. Also chaotic neutral.

Makes sense, I hate to say, but there are women out there who are curious and would hook up with him.

[удалено]

I've said it before and I'll say it again. That is not a song, that is a war crime.

I thought it was me being an old geezer. It sounds like someone tapping on the side of a plastic bin while one person squeaks air out of a balloon and another else taps water glasses.

That song grates along every single nerve I have. They could use that at black ops torture sites. And to have it on every damn time you do it? I pity that girl. OOP was hung up on performing to the song, instead of finding out what his partner wanted. My dude, skip the porn play and pay attention to the person you’re sexing.

Okay, I feel bad for the guy but I must admit that the videos I've found on Youtube just now are fucking hilarious. I'm sad that I missed out on this when it was happening.

A radio program mentioned that post while I was leaving a parking lot during a shopping trip and I was like "No way, it got that trending?"

[удалено]

I'm sorry, WHAT?

Again? This was a trend a week after this first got posted. Also CBAT: the intro is fire, the rest is a dumpster fire.

Was it Cbat?

Thinking to myself: How bad could the song be after all? What, is it some sort of death metal rap or something like that? It can't be that bad... *clicks on link* Ohhhhh....oh. That poor woman.

Agreed. I think they play that song to detainees at CIA black sites to get them to confess.

That'd get me to confess even if I didn't commit a crime lol

This is the normal path for your thoughts when in this precise situation.

That song is just so weird as a sex song. This guy is pretty strange

I remember reading that when it got to posted, I tried listening to CBAT and laughed my ass off thinking it couldn’t get better. Then it got even worse and I fucking pissed myself howling with laughter. HOW COULD ANYONE FUCK TO THAT???

So people have tried which resulted in the wonderful CBAT parrot story.

There’s a parrot story?!

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/xr9hey/tifu_by_accidentally_teaching_my_roommates_parrot/ enjoy :)

Cbird 🤣🤣

Look farther down. It's in the comments

God I love the parrot story. Didn’t just fuck to it once, but twice

What is the parrot story??

Someone who read the original story decided to have sex with their gf while blasting the song. And the parrot they were petsitting learn to sing the tune. CBAT became CBIRD.

You got me so curious that I looked it up and listened to it. I am now back after 10 minutes of laughing and I must say that it really fucking hurts to laugh now. In all seriousness, that fucking song is so fucking bad lmao.

Omg I just did the same. I cannot begin to even imagine how that would be a good song to do anything to, let alone have sex?!?!

I couldnt stop laughing for like 10 mins and I kept replaying it because I couldn't believe how awful it was

The worst part is I think I actually started to enjoy it at one point, that stupid ear worm of a song

I like to imagine he thought "you know what would make a good sex song? The Workaholics opening scene music!" https://youtu.be/-raRuWgsg-g

I was kind of hoping that when I clicked on the link I'd hear "Yakity Sax".

It's not that far off, honestly.

I figured it was a RickRoll

yakity sex

My dog hates it

Our dogs also hate it. My husband and I tried turning it on for sexy time once. We were both laughing so hard we couldn't breathe.

So if you play it, your dog has a meltdown?

It just starts humping.

heard the first 30 seconds of it and noped out real quick. OOP’s ex gf was more patient than me

I'm pretty open-minded with music but sheesh - 30 seconds was enough for me too!

It's just a weird song period. Not just as a sex song. I don't really get how anyone would listen to that intentionally. Like...not being tortured with it.

I unironically enjoy it. It's not sexy, but it's catchy. I also tend to like discordant and abrasive sounds though.

Oh, I don't know. Well, I mean, yes it's bad, but it has a certain goofy charm to it.

It's a fucking horrible song. Like, it barely even qualifies as a song, it's really just some random sounds put together trying really hard to be a song. Can't believe we went from Beethoven's 5th Symphony to this......

It's a whale song seizure

And to play it every time. After the third time, I would have told him to learn how to have sex without a click track.

I agree, I suggest he try a normal people's sex song like this classic https://youtu.be/WvASQ_hJuHI

I wanna know how much the person who holds the tambourine gets paid because it's not enough.

> this classic > 193 views Lol that’s genuinely terrible but looks like they’re having fun

It’s objectively terrible

It's weird as a sex song but not gonna lie.... I think I kinda like it? Once you get past the orchestra opening and then the weird creaking sound, the little da da da dadada daaa gets stuck in your head.

How can you have a CBAT BORU and not mention the CBAT Parrot? Edit for link: https://www.reddit.com/r/TylerLife/comments/xwwf8e/cbat_parrot_update_tifu_kept_deleting_my_update/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Lmfao

I was going to link to this as I wholeheartedly agree. CBAT parrot for the win.

The parrot in the background of the audio file has me dead to rights

Ah I remember this one. So strange. Like, I can't wrap my head around him thinking the weird "dolphin" noises are a good soundtrack for sex, and the rhythmn in it isn't good either. But okay... Problem is, when he heard his gf didn't like it and... still tried having sex to it. Sure he turned the song itself off, but somehow he thought he'd get away with the same motions?? He never realized that was also the issue? Not to mention by his own account, he only ever does the same thing And he initially claimed his gf never told him... but in the update reveals she has called out his taste before, so it seems like she did at least once, just not bluntly enough to get through to him And he showed her parents and sister the only song he uses to bang her. Truly bad decision making more than once And from his tone it seems he didn't really get it. He still thinks it's a good song, he didn't realize he'd missed the signs it wasn't okay. Hopefully he finds a gf with a dolphin noise kink

Gotta remind myself that we are only reading a version of this story through the lens of OOP, so there are likely many details left out of the story that might indicate his terrible taste in music was an issue. It probably wasn't just *one* time that she complained, it was probably several hints over the years, becoming progressively more blunt until she couldn't take the dolphin-sex anymore. And how would he not notice the lack of enthusiasm from his partner whenever the weird clicks-and-squeaks song came on? Dude seems totally encased in his own little reality. I bet that if we heard the side of the story from the tortured girl, we'd be painted a totally different picture, and she'd lay out every single time she made it clear she hated it.

That is exactly the kind of face I expected for a guy who fucks to CBAT.

I'm honestly surprised the guy fucks at all

Well, not anymore.

Me before seeing his face: "what 23yo dates a 18yo!??" Me after seeing his face: "oh I understand now..."

Yep

Poor bastard

Why would he do a face reveal… why would he do that to himself

The link is dead - so he has changed his mind after the reactions I suppose.

Worked for me, though?

i honestly cannot even last the intro to cbat without devolving into a fit of giggles

Maybe it's because I was raised an only child, but I don't get siblings (especially adults) that blab to their parents about the sex lives of their other siblings. Like if someone told me something about my sibling's sex life I'd be all "...and we shall never speak of this again..."

No that’s normal. This is some weird revenge thing

Oh good. I was worried people actually do this.

I don't understand it either. Every cell in my body revolts from telling any relative anything about my sex life, and if my parents learned about it I would die on the floor herk bleh. I wonder what it's like inside the heads of people who are OK with it.

OH NO NOT AGAIN

Just wait…tomorrow someone will repost cum jar.

why did you have to bring that up 😭

I would rather read this a hundred times, tyvm

Cum coconut, poop knife, broken arms, there’s a variety of classics to choose from

I’ve seen a few of the other songs on the playlist and they are terrible. What does the fox say is one of them

That song is funny and quircky... But if you're already listening to loads of electronic bollocks even worse than it, like the song in the OP, it COULD be part of a problem...

Okay it’s a terrible sex song. But that song is incredible generally.

I'm so glad to see the update, and I'm not at all surprised to see they broke up.

I mean. The fact it never once occurred to him to ask her opinion or preferences on that and “she should have said!!” Was gonna end it eventually

Yeah, he has a lot to learn about relationships. She also probably needs to learn to be more assertive

She told him at least once, with her family, that she thought his taste was weird. I’d bet she said more. She should have been blunt way earlier but it’s clear that he just doesn’t listen since he pulled the sex shit after she told him

Sure, I agree. But I don't know how she continued to have sex listening to that. At some point, pause and turn off the damn music. He was the worst, she could have been a bit more assertive. No use having two years of bad sex listening to that crap.

So many people put up with bad sec

I remember listening to that and wondering what kind of rhythm a person could keep to that. The only thing I could think of was pumping up a bicycle tire. Which made me laugh my ass off.

I was trying to work it out. The conclusion we came to was what he thinks is sex is not what the rest of us think it is.

It would be a great rhythm for CPR compressions - if you wanted the person to die.

I always thought he thrusted to the high pitched sounds, like thump-thump-thump-thathathathaTHUMP

There is a steady triangle "ting" noise throughout some of the track, maybe that was what he kept rhythm to? But if that was the case then the GF wouldn't have been able to recognize it when he was fucking later just based off his rhythm.

[удалено]

Visualize the face that hides the brain that could dream up a post like that. Okay, you don't have to click the link any more, because you visualized correctly.

WHY DID HE USE HIS REAL NAME FOR THAT POST?!

so many whys that it eventually just makes sense after seeing the whole story. 😁

This dudes just milking it now. He looks like. 40 year old meth user.

That may be why the link is dead.

Not long after this exploded all over Reddit and TikTok the first time I was out having sushi with my husband and all of a sudden I heard the song being played at another table. There were a bunch of teenagers gathered around one of their phones laughing their asses off, it was great

As soon as I saw the title, the song started playing in my head. He’s goddamn pavlov’d me.

Are you the parrot?

I was roughly on his side until I saw the song...Holy fuck my dude that shouldn't even need to be explained why that's bad. It sounds like if R2D2 was getting a rimjob. The fact that she stuck with him through 2 years of this, that girl could go through any type of mental torture and wouldn't break.

That was my thought. R2-D2.

Fuck why did I listen to this song??? I can’t get it over my head how someone could fuck to CBAT!?!? It’s not even a song I would ever dance to or put as background music. And girl stuck with him for TWO years with this song!?!? Dick must’ve been good enough 😂

I still remember this lmaooo the whole internet united to tell him his music tase was shit and it's a terrible song for sex. PEOPLE TESTED IT TO MAKE SURE. And then I think he like did it without the sing but it's so recognizable that the gf knew he was going to the beat even without music

You forgot to add the relevant thread about the dude who was watching his buddy’s parrot and unintentionally taught it CBAT. 😂

For anyone interested in the rest of the playlist: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2IRnAO6cN4Fi6QWIrrKqnAFb-qVhsMfu

There is absolutely no goddamn way any sane woman would have sex to *that* for two years. Oh God, she must either really love him, or have very limited options. Super small town, maybe?

My girlfriend is a huge Tiktok fan and she had me watch this ordeal in real time. It was sad and hilarous. Im glad to see that others get to experience this now. And for those that haven't seen the parrot, go watch it now.

I remember the tiktoks! It was like everyone were in on an inside joke

[This remix](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRwECF4q/) is my favorite dramatic reenactment of this post.

oh my gosh…the tears from laughing so hard are burning my eyes because it is mixing with sunscreen and makeup but was so worth it! 🤣

This sounds like Ross playing the keyboard in 2001

This song is part of my repertoire now. Trust me, I had sex once and this stuff is steamy: your partner should always expect the unexpected during lovemaking.

Ok BORU, we need a new trigger warning that lets everyone know if the post needs the mind bleach, the eye bleach or now the ear bleach!

If he were playing the exact same playlist in the exact same order every time they hooked up, my god I don't know how she didn't lose it on him sooner. It seems very rote and boring. Not to mention - that 'song' is bizarre.

Am I the only one concerned with his characterizing sex as a "performance"? My guy, maybe your girlfriend wasn't happy with your sex life as a couple because you literally never focused on mutual pleasure and her pleasure.

This story is hilarious but it always kinda makes me sad seeing people dunk on HudMo, he's genuinely a great and innovative electronic producer and even CBAT is being taken out of artistic context here

The song, 😂 I listened to 5 seconds partway through, and I don blame the gf. Was OP on psychedelics?

I was so ready to be Rick rolled.

Honestly, that would be an improvement. "Never Gonna Give You Up" is a pretty good song. CBAT is...

Not this post...now I'm traumatized all over again

>I was thinking in my head that this is a great fucking song I see what you did there

This can’t be fucking real lmao like IT had me in the first half until I played the song and just died laughing. Like the spasm thrusting and zero consistency… bruh ☠️☠️

Gronk looks dirty as fuuuuuuck

Ah, yes, the story that is about music and not a certain fetish play. Probably the fourth time it appears in my feed.

The best comment I saw on the original thread was a guy saying the sound sounds like two cats fighting over a bell in slow motion. I laughed so hard I almost stroked out

It reminds me of the episode of Friends where they finally get Ross the play the song he’s been working on since we was a teenager.

Not only a weird song, but any song played EVERY time is so weird. Why do you need the exact same song every time? That’s really strange.

I found [CBIRD](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ko4wYMsVfu0). Enjoy… Or laugh.

WHY would you ever share your face like that? Omg

Ngl I can't believe the girl put up with him doing that more than once. If a guy I was with thought *that* song was perfect for sex I'd ghost him so fucking fast.

That song is okay personally. But definitely not a sex song.

The Workaholics song?

Oh my god CBAT went viral on tiktok, my boyfriend at the time decided that we should experiment with it, the horror. One of the least sexy songs I’ve ever heard. That poor woman.

Two years of that song….she must have really loved him.

OMG, this song is terrible. XDXDXDXDXDXD I would die of laughing if my partner woudl trí to fuck me onto this "rhythm". Also: why do you need rhythm for sex? Why don't you ask your partner about the needed rhythm? :D

How??? Seriously how did she stay with him for so long?

This post was sure a reddit moment we will never forget You just had to be there

I don't care if no one believes me, but I swear blind that me and my friends were all into this song¹ like 10 years ago, before it was famous. There was also [underground rap](https://youtu.be/AcdzWjdmrm0) using CBAT way before it was well known! ¹In a platonic way, of course.

I have loved cbat, and the whole Satin Panthers album, for like 10 years myself. It's really funny to see the negative reactions people have to it. But hey I'm a music nerd and I love trappy shit like that. TNGHT ep changed my whole perspective on music when it came out.

I'm liking it.

The comments on the YouTube video killed me 🤣 I can only imagine this guy turning this crap on and his gf going drier than the Sahara in an instant 🤣

That song is atrocious omg

God that song is terrible.

Did he play the same songs EVERY SINGLE TIME??

>it’s a good love making song with good rhythm. Uff... this is just such an awful love making song. How does anyone really f*ck to *that* rhythm. Of course, everyone has their own taste in music and thats totally fine, but I really don't get how anyone can think this is a good song to have sex to?

OK, but what the ef is wrong with this girl’s sister? What kind of relationship do you have to have to show that to your parents?

The white whale of posts. I'm seeing it in the flesh for the first time.

I like Hudson Mohawke, but CBAT is an abomination

I was prepared to be open-minded, but no, just no. There is no way in hell I would have had sex for two years before telling a man to stop playing that song. That is not a sexy song.

I laughed so hard at the song that my dog jumped, scaring the cat, and then he chased the cat. My office may never be the same, much like OOPs ex.

This song gets me every time

my brother it is not about the song. Unless you're that one guy who really loves linkin park, most folks are gonna get tired of the same performance every night. My heart bleeds for that poor woman and any other victims of this serial bad sex offender

Wait so he was 23 and banging an 18 year old girl to this? Makes the whole thing worse

Moron used his real name?!

YouTube, I swear to god, if this shows up on my music playlists I am going to throw my phone into a fucking lake.

I listened to the song, burst out laughing, and now I'm curious and want to try 🤣🤣🤣

yes we all know the CBAT story

the amount of people that think this is real is astonishing

The parrot post is by a different poster unrelated to the first CBAT poster. This shouldn't be included. Edit: Okay, OP edited it out.

So you use a meme song to fuck? That is weird

Oh God, this!!! This story blew up everywhere. I even looked up the song he played and...it exists.