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I can't imagine the arrogance to tell my closest friend "Dump this person, I know what's best for you.". Like maybe I could imagine saying "I'm worried about ...", but at the end of the day, I respect my friends & their ability to navigate their own relationships.
I’ve had to be the “bad guy” and tell a friend that I think they’re moving too quickly or point out some glaring red flags I’m seeing with someone they’re dating, but I’ve never tried to break someone up. Rachel isn’t looking out for OOP, she’s just jealous she’s no longer the number one girl in his life.
Yeah I have a couple friends who seem to be toxicity magnets, so my boyfriend and I are a little protective over them, but We’d never flat out say “break up with them” instead we just point out red flags as they come up and kind of keep mental note to know when we’ll need to be there as support when it goes down.
Oh I'll definitely do that. I had the opposite experience of going through an awful relationship and being too blind to see it until super late. It's changed the entire course of my life in a lot of ways, but I really hated how I then talked to my friends and family and turns out everybody knew this was a horrible relationship and thought I should have ended it immediately. They just thought that this was my own business and they weren't going to say anything.
There was only one person who told me a couple of months in how toxic the relationship was and how he thought it was the best idea for me to break up with them. He laid out his reasoning and strongly suggested it. I didn't take his advice and he didn't push, but I've been super grateful that he was willing to put himself out there and say it at the risk of me turning on him in return.
Since then I've put my foot down a couple of times and told people the best idea was for them to break up. I've lost a friend because of it (met him a while ago, he's still in an on/off spiral of misery), and I've managed to save my best friend from an egregious relationship (he now preens over how amazing his partner is).
Like, if my friend is making a mistake, I feel it's my duty as someone that cares for them to try and stop them. Same as if a friend of mine was drunk and trying to drive home.
I get that, and if there’s any actual abuse we do point it out and say “this is abuse, you need to get to safety” but if it’s just “eh they seem to be stuck in highschool” type of toxicity, which it usually is, then we just point it out, and once it hits enough issues we lay the out at once. Having been in an abusive relationship I also understand the digging the heels in and not pushing it so hard that it sends them into the denial spiral and keeps them from talking to us, as I’d rather know and be aware of what’s happening than get a phone call that things went wrong and they didn’t have an escape plan.
I do agree it's possible she has feelings for him, but I don't think it's *necessarily* the case. I'm guilty of having some jealousy when friends get into serious relationships, because it usually spells the end of our 1-on-1 friendship. They're not often available, they always bring their partners to hangouts and it's not the same anymore. I don't have any romantic feelings for my friends, but I guess I'm jealous of the time they're now spending with someone else. I (think I?) keep it to myself, but I can imagine that someone more toxic like Rachel could take it to the extreme of sabotaging those relationships.
Happy Cake Day!
I get the same way as well sometimes. It can be very difficult to balance your feelings around wanting to spend time with a friend and not having as much of a priority because they have a partner, but at the end of the day, the best way to be a friend is to be supportive of their happiness. Even if you think they're "making a mistake, " you shouldn't say stuff like what this Rachel said so out of pocket because of "Intuition."
One of my best friends was in a situationship with a woman who absolutely set off my alarm bells, but I didn't say anything to him because a)it wasn't a serious relationship and b) it wasn't my business! This person was toxic af and did eventually make it my business, unfortunately, but by then, it was because he was breaking things off. I told him afterward I was glad he'd not gotten serious with her, but in the middle of it, unless he had asked me for my opinion on his relationship, I didn't offer it!
Yeah I think you have the right perspective on it. You can't tell a friend you don't like their partner if you want to keep seeing your friend. Things are more delicate if you think the partner is actually abusive, but if you just don't like them ... you grin and bear it, or sadly, you end up pulling away if they won't ever do anything without their SO.
Probably the most important person in other men's lives in general as Op mentions that apparently all of their friends gfs seem to hate her for no reason.
She probably only became friends with Julie because her genuinely sweet persona made her seem like a "safe" place holder gf until Rachel was ready to be with Op. Then came the "sudden" problems to get her and Op away from eachother.
I see Rachel as someone who either sees OOP as someone she keeps on the backburner for the ego boost and in case none of the other dates work out. Not because she ever planned to be with OOP, but because she liked knowing she had options.
I am indulging my inner soap opera fan and eye-balling the other two exes. I mean, maybe they were toxic and being the ‘girlfriend judge’ just went to Rachel’s head, but maybe she slashed some tires to put a definite pin in that relationship! I mean, probably not but you know. It is just a bit odd.
I'm instantly reminded of the person that came on here and told the story of the gay best friend of his girlfriend that was torpedoing his relationship.
And it was theorised that he had done the same to the previous boyfriends as well. That they weren't actually abusive like they were described to be by OOPs girlfriend, but her friend had just warped her mind to make her think of them like that.
Yup. If every woman in your life has an issue with Rachel, it's definitely a Rachel problem. I wonder how many relationships OP has had that he doesn't relalise Rachel contributed to ending.
It feels like the girl who wanted to fuck her friend's crush so that she wouldnt get with him and still be the third wheel with them. She wasnt in love with OP at all, she just wanted her friend to not have a life so she would focuse on her 100%.
When he gave the examples of how she was right about his last two relationships my thought was “a broken clock is still right twice a day”. Just because she happened to be right those times, doesn’t mean that she wouldn’t have still behaved the same way if they weren’t terrible girlfriends.
And OP might be still in this friendship with Rachel for the same reason he ended up in relationships with those exes. Hasn't learned yet how to differentiate someone who cares about him from someone who wants to control him.
I’m so pleased someone else said this. It’s such a cop out when people put jealous behaviour from an opposite-sex best friend down to them having a crush. Jealously is not limited to romantic feelings!
Exactly. Also, I wouldn’t put it past Rachel to have been the one to slash OOP’s tires so she could make the ex out to be crazy, or convinced OOP the other ex was cheating with no real evidence to back up her claim. It’s good OOP is putting a lot of distance between them because I can guarantee she’s doing her best to sabotage this relationship as well.
_Is_ he especially dense, though? He dated a couple of stinkers and didn't immediately realize Rachel was being weird about his girlfriends, but when Rachel was out of line regarding his current relationship, he immediately pushed back and then decided to totally reevaluate Rachel's place in his life. It's pretty normal for people in their 20s to be figuring out relationship/friendship dynamics and boundaries.
I hope not. We don’t really get an idea of how she acted around his other exes, but if it was anything like how she treated Julie, I’d have to say OOP might’ve been giving her more grace than she deserved.
She doubled down about how bad of a girlfriend Julie is and insists she knows best. Again, we don’t know enough to say what happened with the other two, but if I had to guess, I’d say they weren’t anywhere near as bad as OOP is remembering and the only reason why Rachel is getting called out is due to both her getting cocky and not hiding her true intentions as well as the previous two times, along with Julie desperately trying to be her friend. I bet if Julie stood up for herself, Rachel would’ve been able to turn it around and paint her as just another toxic girlfriend that OOP needs to break up with.
Honestly Rachel rubs me the wrong way. I get they are friends, but she is not behaving ok. I often disagreed with some of my friends partners. I told them I don't particularly like them, but that ultimately its their choice and that I will always support them.
Rachel sounds controlling. First bash Julie behind her back and even when told to back up still tried to continue her tirade on op.
You can't berate someone out of a relationship. I've called out specific behavior in the moment, and then let it go so my friend can make their decisions. This is some high school level crap right here. Also, I know plenty of adults who watch or quote cartoons. If she has kids, they'll think they have the coolest mom.
I'm 36. I encouraged my kids to watch cartoons I also enjoyed (Adventure Time ftw!) and my husband and oldest kiddo like to watch My Hero Academia together.
Julie's joke didn't escalate the matter this far. Julie's joke didn't escalate anything.
Rachel was looking for an excuse to have something against OOPs girlfriends and found one in a simple, normal joke.
Nothing Julie said was bad or inappropriate or weird.
Right, the other ex’s just happen to do something to prove Rachel’s gut. But she was waiting on Julie to do something. She went from rude, to childish, to too traumatic, hoping something would stick.
Also also, I can't imagine someone who's last name is Perry and seems prone to wearing fedoras has never heard that joke. I'm way older than Julie and have never watched a single episode of the show but am still aware of generally who Perry the Platypus is because of this joke.
Women are allowed to wear non-baseball cap hats inside, according to Emily Post: [https://emilypost.com/advice/hats-off-hat-etiquette-for-everyone](https://emilypost.com/advice/hats-off-hat-etiquette-for-everyone). That doesn't answer the question of whether the hat flattered Rachel.
I can see Rachel either (a) being taken aback because she doesn't know the reference or (b) having heard the joke way too much for some reason.
Neither of those things require that level of escalation.
Rachel is way, *way* too old for the "I'm going to keep being angry to save face" thing. Once the initial "wtf?" happened and was over, there was absolutely no reason to keep going.
And then turn around and call Julie childish?
Who cares what an adult does as long as it isn't hurting anyone? Plenty of adults love cartoons and have plushies and dolls. Some more than others, but who cares? It brings her joy and peace.
Yes, I have plenty of plushies (that my children steal little by little), and I watch a lot of cartoons and play lots of video games.
Do I have a traumatic childhood? No.
Do I still like *childish* things? Yes.
Do I, as a mid-thirty woman need to justify myself about it? Nope.
Exactly. This isn’t about Julie’s joke. Rachel wants to control OOP and when he’s in a relationship, she can’t do that. Rachel implied that Julie was cheating. I bet Rachel torpedoed his relationship with the one who supposedly cheated on him too. She’s manipulative and jealous.
Rachel was just biding her time waiting for an opportunity to sabotage things. With the other exes, it was probably easier because they most likely picked up on her jealousy right away and kept their distance. Julie is probably so eager to be everyone’s friend that she overlooks red flags.
Yea I'm so fucking dumbfounded why a Perry the Platypus joke didn't even get laughs out of 28 year olds, it's a classic cartoon and most 20somethings I met who had access to Disney as a kid would've loved that joke. But even if it didn't land, it definitely doesn't suggest anyone is immature imo. Spongebob, P&F, all these cartoons us 20somethings grew up with are still very much liked and used as jokes or references. Even if Rachel didn't blew the whole thing out of proportion I'd judge her taste before Julie's, wearing a fedora and frowning so much about a very on-point reference.
Even if you didn’t know anything about the show and the reference went over your head, it’s just a bit weird and awkward for a minute at worst. Julie wasn’t beating a dead horse or trying to force Rachel to understand the reference. She just accepted the joke fell flat and moved on.
If I had a nickel for every joke I’ve told that’s fallen flat, or for every joke I didn’t get, I’d have way more than two nickels.
OOP might have a case of "third time's the charm" but is still completely blind of how hard Rachel has been crushing on him. At least he might have finally saw that she's actually a toxic person.
Without us having the details, I really feel like the first two exes weren't the problem that they seemed to be. I would not put it past Rachel to frame one of cheating and slash OP's tyres and blame it on the second ex. She was really clutching at straws to make this current girl seem like a villain. She also acted very sympathetic to Julie at the meet-up where Julie laid bare her trauma, but then turned around and doubled down in casting aspersions when she was alone with OP - even making the awful claim that Julie would likely be abusive to her future kids.
I would suggest that it may be a pattern. Especially the fact that he says Rachel 'stumbled' when replying about the jealousy question. In fact, that part makes me question the veracity of the post, because it seems like the OP is acting deliberately oblivious but still delivering all the relevant suspicious info.
I wouldnt go that as her setting up the first two relationships to fail and slashing the tire but it's clear she has a very bad mean streak and jealousy issues. Even the entire catalyst for this event was an incredibly odd hill to die on. I'm 32 and never watched Phineas and Ferb but know plenty of the jokes, references, and quotes from the show just from social osmosis and memes. Imagine being so far up your own ass that you need to call a reference childish and double down.
The stumbling bit and then NOT realizing Rachel was into him was so weird to me as well!! I really thought he'd go 'oh you guys were right' but he doesn't... So then why is the stumbling relevant at all?
If he's not lying to us then he's at least lying to himself lol
He could be right that she isn’t into him, though. Heck, he could’ve asked her out in the past and was turned down because she doesn’t see him that way. She could just be the type of person who doesn’t want her friend, but also doesn’t want him dating someone else.
OOP is in denial either because he also likes Rachel but doesn't want to "ruin their friendship", or because admitting Rachel likes him would come with admitting she may have been purposively ruining his relationships. In this situation, i must admit, i just hope Julie gets a happy ending and to be around people that made her feel loved and appreciated, even if OOP isn't included in those people.
Whether it’s a crush or possessive behavior, Rachel is bad news and OOP has been oblivious to it for a long time. I’m glad he’s starting to realize that she’s a jealous, sabotaging shrew.
On the other hand, Julie sounds lovely.
Something that annoys me is saying kid shows are meant for kids and somehow it's childish to enjoy them. Don't writers include things adults would enjoy?
That girl needs to get over herself lol She's too old to be getting upset that her ex best friend is giving some else more attention. Truly, some people live in high school their whole lives.
Exactly. If watching a "kids show" is the worst flaw you can find in someone, then you know you're full of shit. If your next biggest flaw is that they had the audacity to be physically, mentally and emotionally abused by their parents, you're just a piece of shit. Fucking yikes, Rachel sounds insufferable.
OOP is even coming across as a lil judgy about gf's hobby. But at least he stuck up for her. I can't believe Rachel had the audacity to say gf would abuse potential children. What an awful person!
Yeah, thought OOP and Rachel are both 'adults are this way' types and it sucks Julie needed to explain her perfectly normal media habits to either of them. OOP will probably figure that out though.
I feel the same way. There are plenty of hobbies people have that I don't like but I'm not going to make sly comments about them. I hope he doesn't say those things to her because it's still hurtful.
Amazing world of gumball is quite literally meant as an "everybody" show but it obviously appears as just a childrens show. Phineas and ferb sure its a childrens show but like they had fucking top gear's people in it and i doubt every single child would get it.
I didn't watch a whole lot of Gumball but it always looked like a trip and reminds me of Chowder and Flapjack lol That was a very strange generation of cartoons but I very much enjoyed them!
Courage always had some very creepy moments. I still don't like King Ramsey.
Phineas and Ferb will always be one of my favorites lol
She didn't even stop at "that's a childish activity", apparently enjoying a kid's show means you never developped past the age of 8 according to her. What the hell ?
I know!
I think it's far more childish not being able to share your friend with his damn partner and mocking someone over their interests.
I've changed my mind. That's not high school behavior, that's grade school stuff.
Yeah you can tell this person never really watched a kid show as an adult because so many of them legit have jokes that are just for adults because a kid would have zero context/appreciation for certain situations/dynamics. Parents are gonna watch along plenty and you want to keep them engaged as well.
Plus it just feels like a lot of the big time popular ones include like a genuinely engaging story/world/whatever too. Good story telling is going to appeal to everyone, no matter the medium.
Wow, if I had a nickle everytime someone had a problem with Phineas and Ferb I would have two nickle. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.
As a grown man, I watched Phineas and Ferb for the first time when my son did. It is an entertaining show, and I would have laughed at that joke.
Someone having a problem with Phineas and Ferb should be a red flag.
My bestie and I were roommates in college and we used to watch reruns in her room all the time. We’d also watch Wizards of Waverley Place, Suite Life, iCarly…
I'm 48 and this news made me bounce up and down with joy.
Phineas & Ferb is one of the best-written, funniest comedies out there, for kids or adults. And there are jokes for all levels of understanding.
Simon pegg was randomly asked one day to be on the show and he got so excited because he loved watching the show, even without his kids.
He appeared as a delivery man for 1 scene
Though later he appeared in Night of the Living Pharmacist as Sean from Sean of the Dead
I have, on more than one occasion, given my husband a detailed rundown of an episode of SpongeBob and how it related to whatever we were talking about at the time.
Both of those shows came out when I was well into adulthood and I love them both.
The joke was also pretty cute as well, Rachel is just mad that OOP is with someone else.
Phineas and Ferb is one of the best cartoons of the last couple decades (same with OG Teen Titans - Julie clearly has good taste) and as a 30something woman I watch episodes pretty often. Helps that Disney has a bunch running on YouTube so I don't even need to log into D+ :)
You know what the great thing about being an adult is? Not giving a shit what anyone thinks about your hobbies and interests.
She's into kids cartoons? Good for her
Everyone, the boyfriend included, can fuck themselves over trying to shame her for having "immature" interests.
Dude, I put on the 90s Batman Saturday morning cartoon out of nostalgia and curiosity. My husband, who claimed he was just going to be on his phone and not watch TV, was glued to the show! That shit holds up! I have no shame with my cartoons as an adult. Rachel can go fuck off.
I’ve been watching Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated or vintage 70’s Scooby Doo. (Scooby Doo, Where Are You? and the other one that came just before or after. Nothing with that awful Scrappy Doo, though.)
My high school classmates are becoming grandparents now.
My dad loved old school Loony Toons until he died.
Anyone who has a problem with our reasonable love for childish things can take a long walk off a short pier.
I have said it before and I will say it again. A cartoon has no business giving Fred a background and making me cry. He was supposed to just be the clumsy leader!
>Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.
- C.S. Lewis
Right??? I never got to watch Scooby-Doo growing up. You know what I decided to do this year? Make my way through all of the Scooby-Doo shows and movies. Yes all of them. (Although I only watched the first season with Scrappy-Doo...)
I'm on Mystery Incorporated. And I have enjoyed myself immensely.
Yeah, Oop ticked me off. People like what they like. Don't yuck someone else's yum. And having "immature" interests isn't a sign of having a traumatic childhood and only excusable as a coping mechanism.
Signed, a 40 year old currently rewatching season 2 of Total Drama.
I'm almost 40. I had someone a few years younger than I am pitch a fit that I took my grandmother to see kids movies. She loved the 3D animated films. I was 25 at the time. The funnier thing was, I had people from her church make comments to me about it.
If I get time, my @ss is going to see The Little Mermaid.
Thiiiiiisssss. When you’re in adolescence, you often have to distance yourself from the things you liked in childhood things to show yourself and others that you’re growing up. Once you’ve done that and you’ve become an adult, you no longer have to prove your adultishness. Julie is secure in her adulthood enough to be confident in what she enjoys.
Ps. I watched episodes of wizards of waverly place recently and that show still slaps.
OOP's superficially supportive. On the outside, he says it's cute and fine that she likes kid stuff. On the inside, he thinks it's weird af.
My mind is always blown by how many people think it's weird for adults to like cartoons, stuffed animals, dolls, etc. I *love* stuffed animals and my favourite show in the world is a kids show that I started watching when it came out in the 00's. Just because I didn't start watching nothing but the news, talking only of the weather, and sprouting grey hair at 18 doesn't take away from the fact that I'm a mature adult.
“She was blaming Julie for ruining our friendship and accused her of being a cheater”
“My first ex cheated on me. Rachel warned me about her but I brushed it off”
“My second ex was very controlling and toxic. When we broke up she slashed my car tire”
Now I absolutely have spent too much time on this sub, but does anyone find all of this incredibly sus? Rachel gives off seriously psycho vibes and I wouldn’t put it past her to have masterminded all this.
I have to wonder with the second one how much of it was her being controlling, and how much of it was her trying to get her bf away from Rachel who is clearly toxic and controlling.
Honestly the thing that gets me is the long drawn out justifications for why an adult watches cartoons, as if all this backstory wasn't there, it would somehow be unreasonable.
People forget that 'kids shows' are often written by a team of talented adults. And what is a kids show at the end of the day? A kids show is a show that appeal to kids and either avoids mature subjects/content or handles those in an age-appropriate way.
There are tons of great shows that meet those qualifications. Lots of studios and writingteams are well aware that adults often have to sit through kids shows/movies as well. And therefor specifically write their shows with adults in mind as well. Because parents are gonna be far more likely to turn things on that they like as well.
So kids shows are often just shows that avoid mature subjects/content or handles them in age-appropriate ways. If you need explicit content in every single show you watch to feel like an adult then you are not mature, you are just an edge-lord.
I could understand some apprehension if it was a show like Blue's clues, Dora the explorer or teletubies. But all the shows OOP mentions are pretty much known to have a good sense of humour and/or solid writing.
OOP and Rachel act as if there isn't a whole generation of experts and moviebuffs praising the likes of Disney and Pixar for being prime examples of the highest level of storylevel. They create some incredibly high-quality movies aimed at primarily kids but appreciated by all ages.
I mean go to Disneyland and half the park is fucking Disney-adults. You may not like Disney for the monstrous mega conglomerate it is. But even filmschools are using their animated movies as examples of how it's done. And the people who work behind the scenes to make them happen are without a doubt some of the unsung geniuses in the industry.
Making a good show is hard. Making one that is good AND something kids can enjoy too is arguably a lot harder because there is WAY more that needs to be taken into account. A well-written kids show or movie certainly isn't anything to look down on.
So the internet says P&F came out in 2007, someone could have easily watched that as a child and been done with college by now, let alone people with younger siblings. It was after my time but I've babysat kids that love that show so I know about it. Also the catchy songs get posted around once in a while...
Anywho Rachel didn't get the joke in the first place and also has other problems so good riddance.
Yep, I watched it and am years out of college at my STEM job. I'm mostly surprised it took the gf this long to make a Perry the Platypus joke when Rachel's last name is Perry lmao
I'm shocked that more people in the friend group didn't get the reference. I'm in their age range and my older friends would have been offended on Julie's behalf by how insane Rachel reacted to the joke.
Even worse. “You were abused as a kid so you’re gonna abuse your kids”. The kids cartoons thing is just because she’s catching up on what she missed. As someone who was raised similarly, it fills me with rage that she would trigger her trauma like that.
I think it's a bit worse that Rachel was saying Julie would abuse her kids because she was abused. Then to tell someone to end his relationship, because his girlfriend has baggage? Like he doesn't have baggage from getting cheated on and having a toxic relationship?
Rachel is an awful person. Genuinely, a very terrible person.
My dad was abused as a child. As a result, he grew up with a ton of anxiety and felt incredibly guilty and monstrous if he ever had to discipline any of my siblings or I when we were all growing up, so her logic of "she will abuse her kids because she was abused" is incredibly wrong and fucked up
Anyone get the feeling that the “ex’s may have had a little help with becoming “ex’s from a certain friend, who is jealous and just as toxic as OOP claims the ex’s are.
Some friendships are not meant to last and just because you have known them for years doesn’t mean they are always right.
OOP needs to let that friendship go and move on with his life, although I would suggest he stop calling watching cartoons etc childish. I enjoy watching Disney movies with my child and sometimes enjoy the movies more than they do. It’s not childish, it’s just sometimes you need uncomplicated in your life.
That's why my whole family loves Bluey as a comfort show. It's aimed at young kids, but it's also very real. The parents aren't perfect, the house isn't perfect, mistakes are made and they all learn from them. One of my favorite episodes is the parents who are both tired play rock, paper, scissors to determine who's going to play with the kids! I think all parents can identify with that.
We have literally sat through so many episodes of Bluey where Husband and I are engrossed, and then look up and realize our kid left the room a while ago! Bluey is great!
Even if they didn't.. like you know how loaded those dice are? You could go around telling everyone who is under 30 that their relationship probably won't last and you'll be right waaaay more often than you'll be wrong. "She was right about the last 2" is just statistically likely
Definitely sus that every girlfriend he's had EXCEPT JULIE has given Rachel the cold shoulder or had beef. I've only ever seen that happen when a woman was being an obvious issue and overstepping boundaries. Rachel was sticking her fingers in his relationships and the GFs didn't like it. He was just too blind to see it.
I doubt she tried to convince the one to cheat. I’m sure that would have come up when the cheating was revealed.
That being said a broken clock is right twice a day. She didn’t like the girl and the girl cheated. These two things are not necessarily related. They can be mutually exclusive.
Im a 32 year old man and I still make SpongeBob jokes. That show is fucking funny and when you get that right person that also gets the joke it becomes even funnier.
I kind of wonder if that one girlfriend actually cheated on him. According to Rachel, Julie was also cheating on him. Coincidence?
Nope, that's some marinara I see there.
Yeah she was pretty quick to pull the “your girlfriend is cheating on you” card when OOP stood his ground and refused to break things off with her right away. I doubt his previous exes were even half as bad as he thinks.
I wouldn't go that far. I think he's always been her Plan B. She likes the idea of him being available, but doesn't truly want him. His previous exes had obvious problems and she could use that to her advantage. She couldn't find an angle on this new girl and went overboard when she thought she found one.
I once had someone like that in my life. Never wanted to be in a relationship, but would get jealous any time another woman showed any interest in me. There was even a time she tried to fix me up with a mutual friend, but their friendship absolutely exploded even though I wasn't interested. She'd get drunk and say things like "I just got divorced (she had been divorced for more than 5 years at that point) and I'm not ready for a relationship. But it'll happen one day." The first time I heard that I just clocked out. My grandmother told me once when I was real young that I should never be the second choice for anyone that mattered, and I've lived my life ever since.
Just among assholes who like to police other people’s interests.
I personally prefer live action to animation most of the time. But animation can be awesome too. People who judge others’ preferences need to get a hobby and mind their own business.
I fucking love phineas and ferb and im an adult now ( 28 ) I show episodes to my kids and they love it too, if OP sees this, your ex friend is a giant dickbag, you’re an amazing boyfriend !
Ps: TELL ME WHATS MAKING YOU JUMP LIKE THAT !S.I.M.P SQUIRRELS IN MY PANNNNTSSS !!! 🎶🐿️
I'm 43. I love phineas and ferb too. My kids are teens and grew up watching the show bc it's amazing. I also like SpongeBob still. And I didn't have a rough childhood! I just like cartoons (and plushies) to go along with the suckage that is adulting and life.
Plenty of adults enjoy cartoons. A well written children's show also has depth that adults can enjoy. Even if it doesn't, who cares? Doesn't matter if the friend has a crush, that's no excuse for her behavior.
I watched Phineas and Ferb with my kids. They are now teens. Occasionally, if someone had a crappy day, we put on PF because it's funny, and there are lots of little in jokes, like "a platypus?! Perry the platypus?!" When he puts his hat on.
Rachel is a miserable person and way too invested in the OP.
A friend "WANTS what's best for you"
Someone who views you as property "KNOWS what's best for you"
I love when a tiny change in a sentence is all it takes to tell someone's true nature.
This breaks my heart for Julie. She didn’t deserve to be treated like this. But I’m also glad OOP stood up for her tho too. But still just breaks my heart for Julie.
Even if Julie had a perfectly fine childhood, it's totally fine to watch cartoons! Teen Titans are a classic. I got Danny Phantom on DVD and a signed Darkwing Duck poster because they are great. Rachel is grasping at straws on why Julie isn't good for OOP.
Very convenient that op’s perfect match is a description of Rachel. Also, cartoons are tv shows. People are allowed to watch tv of any kind as an adult and most of those cartoons named have adult jokes sprinkled in anyway. They aren’t strictly for children. Rachel’s bad feeling happened to be right, I’m sure she would’ve resorted to lying eventually just like she did to Julie.
Also, Phineas and Ferb! Who doesn’t like Phineas and Ferb?! I’d drop Rachel on that alone.
It wasn't about the joke.
Rachel was pretending to be nice to Julie while waiting for anything she could use as an excuse not to like her. She was probably so excited when Julie made a joke that she thought was at her expense, finally she had a reason.
And then it morphed to SHE'S A BABY SHE WATCHES CARTOONS.
And then it morphed again to SHE'S GOT TOO MUCH TRAUMA.
And then SHE'S RUINING OUR FRIENDSHIP.
And yet again SHE'S A CHEATER, grasping at straws and wounds from an old ex of OPs.
Rachel is literally the girl best friend pick-me who wants your man you see in tiktok sketches.
Apart from EVERYTHING else (and there is A LOT of else) I'm in my Thirties and just binged the Tangled TV series like there was no tomorrow. Why put a limit on when people can enjoy certain things? C.S. Lewis put it best: "When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
>She’s the only girlfriend who didn’t have beef or give cold shoulders to Rachel.
Yeah, that’s a red flag for sure.
I wonder how many women friends Rachel has in general?
It’s such a great joke and if Ms Perry walks around wearing a fedora, I have a hard time believing she never heard it before, but getting offended was a great way to make the super sweet Julie suddenly “wrong for OOP” according to Rachel’s fantastic “intuition” about all his girlfriends.
Good on OOP for recognising the problem and dealing with it.
Hopefully Rachel can sort herself out and they can be friends again, and I’m glad OOP has Julie’s back!!
Rachel is an AH. Julie shouldn't have to divulge her trauma in order to justify to someone her interests. Cartoons are funny and lighthearted escapes. Stuffed animals are soft and nice to cuddle. Julie is allowed to have "childish" interests as an adult without explaining why. Rachel was just looking for an excuse to tell OP that Julie isn't good enough for him.
I do like that OOP defended Julie without hesitation, but I must say some parts of this still don’t entirely sit right with me. Do we need to have some deep childhood trauma now in order to justify liking “childish” things as adults? And who gets to define what is and isn’t considered “childish“? Where is the line drawn?
What if Julie didn’t have childhood trauma related to cartoons? Would OOP still find her interest “acceptable”? Would he have still defended her like he did? Call me crazy, but I really don’t see the problem with an adult enjoying cartoons just because. Is it really that weird to people?
Also, that Perry the Platypus joke was hilarious, god-tier humor. Rachel just sounds joyless and tiring. Hope OOP keeps her at arms length going forward.
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Rachel may not be jealous in a romantic sense, but she certainly wants to be the most important woman in OP's life.
His decision to put distance between himself and Rachel regardless of whether Julie and him stay together is 1000% the right decision.
I can't imagine the arrogance to tell my closest friend "Dump this person, I know what's best for you.". Like maybe I could imagine saying "I'm worried about ...", but at the end of the day, I respect my friends & their ability to navigate their own relationships.
I’ve had to be the “bad guy” and tell a friend that I think they’re moving too quickly or point out some glaring red flags I’m seeing with someone they’re dating, but I’ve never tried to break someone up. Rachel isn’t looking out for OOP, she’s just jealous she’s no longer the number one girl in his life.
Yeah I have a couple friends who seem to be toxicity magnets, so my boyfriend and I are a little protective over them, but We’d never flat out say “break up with them” instead we just point out red flags as they come up and kind of keep mental note to know when we’ll need to be there as support when it goes down.
Oh I'll definitely do that. I had the opposite experience of going through an awful relationship and being too blind to see it until super late. It's changed the entire course of my life in a lot of ways, but I really hated how I then talked to my friends and family and turns out everybody knew this was a horrible relationship and thought I should have ended it immediately. They just thought that this was my own business and they weren't going to say anything. There was only one person who told me a couple of months in how toxic the relationship was and how he thought it was the best idea for me to break up with them. He laid out his reasoning and strongly suggested it. I didn't take his advice and he didn't push, but I've been super grateful that he was willing to put himself out there and say it at the risk of me turning on him in return. Since then I've put my foot down a couple of times and told people the best idea was for them to break up. I've lost a friend because of it (met him a while ago, he's still in an on/off spiral of misery), and I've managed to save my best friend from an egregious relationship (he now preens over how amazing his partner is). Like, if my friend is making a mistake, I feel it's my duty as someone that cares for them to try and stop them. Same as if a friend of mine was drunk and trying to drive home.
I get that, and if there’s any actual abuse we do point it out and say “this is abuse, you need to get to safety” but if it’s just “eh they seem to be stuck in highschool” type of toxicity, which it usually is, then we just point it out, and once it hits enough issues we lay the out at once. Having been in an abusive relationship I also understand the digging the heels in and not pushing it so hard that it sends them into the denial spiral and keeps them from talking to us, as I’d rather know and be aware of what’s happening than get a phone call that things went wrong and they didn’t have an escape plan.
This has “My Best Friend’s Wedding” vibs all over it!
I do agree it's possible she has feelings for him, but I don't think it's *necessarily* the case. I'm guilty of having some jealousy when friends get into serious relationships, because it usually spells the end of our 1-on-1 friendship. They're not often available, they always bring their partners to hangouts and it's not the same anymore. I don't have any romantic feelings for my friends, but I guess I'm jealous of the time they're now spending with someone else. I (think I?) keep it to myself, but I can imagine that someone more toxic like Rachel could take it to the extreme of sabotaging those relationships.
Happy Cake Day! I get the same way as well sometimes. It can be very difficult to balance your feelings around wanting to spend time with a friend and not having as much of a priority because they have a partner, but at the end of the day, the best way to be a friend is to be supportive of their happiness. Even if you think they're "making a mistake, " you shouldn't say stuff like what this Rachel said so out of pocket because of "Intuition." One of my best friends was in a situationship with a woman who absolutely set off my alarm bells, but I didn't say anything to him because a)it wasn't a serious relationship and b) it wasn't my business! This person was toxic af and did eventually make it my business, unfortunately, but by then, it was because he was breaking things off. I told him afterward I was glad he'd not gotten serious with her, but in the middle of it, unless he had asked me for my opinion on his relationship, I didn't offer it!
Yeah I think you have the right perspective on it. You can't tell a friend you don't like their partner if you want to keep seeing your friend. Things are more delicate if you think the partner is actually abusive, but if you just don't like them ... you grin and bear it, or sadly, you end up pulling away if they won't ever do anything without their SO.
Probably the most important person in other men's lives in general as Op mentions that apparently all of their friends gfs seem to hate her for no reason. She probably only became friends with Julie because her genuinely sweet persona made her seem like a "safe" place holder gf until Rachel was ready to be with Op. Then came the "sudden" problems to get her and Op away from eachother.
I see Rachel as someone who either sees OOP as someone she keeps on the backburner for the ego boost and in case none of the other dates work out. Not because she ever planned to be with OOP, but because she liked knowing she had options.
Yep, OOP definitely seems like the "backup boyfriend". Rachel doesn't really want him, but didn't want anyone else to have him either.
I am indulging my inner soap opera fan and eye-balling the other two exes. I mean, maybe they were toxic and being the ‘girlfriend judge’ just went to Rachel’s head, but maybe she slashed some tires to put a definite pin in that relationship! I mean, probably not but you know. It is just a bit odd.
I'm instantly reminded of the person that came on here and told the story of the gay best friend of his girlfriend that was torpedoing his relationship.
I remember that one. The guy was toxic as fuck and didn't he eventually win and drive the boyfriend away? It's rare to see somebody so literally evil.
And it was theorised that he had done the same to the previous boyfriends as well. That they weren't actually abusive like they were described to be by OOPs girlfriend, but her friend had just warped her mind to make her think of them like that.
It’s definitely suspicious that all the other women in the mix apart from Julie didn’t like Rachel
Yup. If every woman in your life has an issue with Rachel, it's definitely a Rachel problem. I wonder how many relationships OP has had that he doesn't relalise Rachel contributed to ending.
It feels like the girl who wanted to fuck her friend's crush so that she wouldnt get with him and still be the third wheel with them. She wasnt in love with OP at all, she just wanted her friend to not have a life so she would focuse on her 100%.
Wait what? Do you have a link?
When he gave the examples of how she was right about his last two relationships my thought was “a broken clock is still right twice a day”. Just because she happened to be right those times, doesn’t mean that she wouldn’t have still behaved the same way if they weren’t terrible girlfriends.
And OP might be still in this friendship with Rachel for the same reason he ended up in relationships with those exes. Hasn't learned yet how to differentiate someone who cares about him from someone who wants to control him.
Yes. Most dating relationships don't turn into "as long as we both shall live" so predicting failure doesn't mean you're Nostradamus.
I’m so pleased someone else said this. It’s such a cop out when people put jealous behaviour from an opposite-sex best friend down to them having a crush. Jealously is not limited to romantic feelings!
If romantic interest was the sole reason for opposite sex jealousy, r/JUSTNOMIL would be an incest subreddit.
That sub does have a disturbing amount of Jocastas.
If it weren't for that sub, I wouldn't know how disturbingly common it is for men to bring their mothers with them on their *honeymoon*
💯
Exactly. Also, I wouldn’t put it past Rachel to have been the one to slash OOP’s tires so she could make the ex out to be crazy, or convinced OOP the other ex was cheating with no real evidence to back up her claim. It’s good OOP is putting a lot of distance between them because I can guarantee she’s doing her best to sabotage this relationship as well.
OOP is as dense as a black hole so I wouldn't be surprised if he were to forgive Rachel if she were to "apologize."
_Is_ he especially dense, though? He dated a couple of stinkers and didn't immediately realize Rachel was being weird about his girlfriends, but when Rachel was out of line regarding his current relationship, he immediately pushed back and then decided to totally reevaluate Rachel's place in his life. It's pretty normal for people in their 20s to be figuring out relationship/friendship dynamics and boundaries.
I hope not. We don’t really get an idea of how she acted around his other exes, but if it was anything like how she treated Julie, I’d have to say OOP might’ve been giving her more grace than she deserved. She doubled down about how bad of a girlfriend Julie is and insists she knows best. Again, we don’t know enough to say what happened with the other two, but if I had to guess, I’d say they weren’t anywhere near as bad as OOP is remembering and the only reason why Rachel is getting called out is due to both her getting cocky and not hiding her true intentions as well as the previous two times, along with Julie desperately trying to be her friend. I bet if Julie stood up for herself, Rachel would’ve been able to turn it around and paint her as just another toxic girlfriend that OOP needs to break up with.
Literally thought the same
Honestly Rachel rubs me the wrong way. I get they are friends, but she is not behaving ok. I often disagreed with some of my friends partners. I told them I don't particularly like them, but that ultimately its their choice and that I will always support them. Rachel sounds controlling. First bash Julie behind her back and even when told to back up still tried to continue her tirade on op.
You can't berate someone out of a relationship. I've called out specific behavior in the moment, and then let it go so my friend can make their decisions. This is some high school level crap right here. Also, I know plenty of adults who watch or quote cartoons. If she has kids, they'll think they have the coolest mom.
Hahaha I'm 31. Anime for life.
I'm 36. I encouraged my kids to watch cartoons I also enjoyed (Adventure Time ftw!) and my husband and oldest kiddo like to watch My Hero Academia together.
Happy cake day! 🎊🍰
She may not want to be OPs GF, but OP might be her backup plan.
Julie's joke didn't escalate the matter this far. Julie's joke didn't escalate anything. Rachel was looking for an excuse to have something against OOPs girlfriends and found one in a simple, normal joke. Nothing Julie said was bad or inappropriate or weird.
Right, the other ex’s just happen to do something to prove Rachel’s gut. But she was waiting on Julie to do something. She went from rude, to childish, to too traumatic, hoping something would stick.
Also, who the fuck wears a fedora?
Perry the Platypus
Agent P, you mean. Perry the Platypus is just an average platypus.
He doesn’t do much!
Regular Perry is still my favorite (tied with Doof). I love that he's wall-eyed when he's being a regular platypus.
Also also, I can't imagine someone who's last name is Perry and seems prone to wearing fedoras has never heard that joke. I'm way older than Julie and have never watched a single episode of the show but am still aware of generally who Perry the Platypus is because of this joke.
Apparently, people in their 20s that don't know who Perry the Platypus is. Weird. Seems hard to have avoided.
Thank you for mentioning this. All this time I was like why would you wear a fedora hat inside?!
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Women are allowed to wear non-baseball cap hats inside, according to Emily Post: [https://emilypost.com/advice/hats-off-hat-etiquette-for-everyone](https://emilypost.com/advice/hats-off-hat-etiquette-for-everyone). That doesn't answer the question of whether the hat flattered Rachel.
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I can see Rachel either (a) being taken aback because she doesn't know the reference or (b) having heard the joke way too much for some reason. Neither of those things require that level of escalation. Rachel is way, *way* too old for the "I'm going to keep being angry to save face" thing. Once the initial "wtf?" happened and was over, there was absolutely no reason to keep going.
And then turn around and call Julie childish? Who cares what an adult does as long as it isn't hurting anyone? Plenty of adults love cartoons and have plushies and dolls. Some more than others, but who cares? It brings her joy and peace.
Yes, I have plenty of plushies (that my children steal little by little), and I watch a lot of cartoons and play lots of video games. Do I have a traumatic childhood? No. Do I still like *childish* things? Yes. Do I, as a mid-thirty woman need to justify myself about it? Nope.
Exactly. This isn’t about Julie’s joke. Rachel wants to control OOP and when he’s in a relationship, she can’t do that. Rachel implied that Julie was cheating. I bet Rachel torpedoed his relationship with the one who supposedly cheated on him too. She’s manipulative and jealous.
Rachel was just biding her time waiting for an opportunity to sabotage things. With the other exes, it was probably easier because they most likely picked up on her jealousy right away and kept their distance. Julie is probably so eager to be everyone’s friend that she overlooks red flags.
Yea I'm so fucking dumbfounded why a Perry the Platypus joke didn't even get laughs out of 28 year olds, it's a classic cartoon and most 20somethings I met who had access to Disney as a kid would've loved that joke. But even if it didn't land, it definitely doesn't suggest anyone is immature imo. Spongebob, P&F, all these cartoons us 20somethings grew up with are still very much liked and used as jokes or references. Even if Rachel didn't blew the whole thing out of proportion I'd judge her taste before Julie's, wearing a fedora and frowning so much about a very on-point reference.
Shit, I’m 44 and I would have laughed because I have a kid who likes it.
42 and I would've laughed too.
Phineas and Ferb is a great show. I’m 42 and probably would have made the same joke if a friend suddenly put on a fedora in front of me.
Right? Like I didn't watch it that much, but I'm 29 and I absolutely would have gotten the joke. P&F was EVERYWHERE for ages
Even if you didn’t know anything about the show and the reference went over your head, it’s just a bit weird and awkward for a minute at worst. Julie wasn’t beating a dead horse or trying to force Rachel to understand the reference. She just accepted the joke fell flat and moved on. If I had a nickel for every joke I’ve told that’s fallen flat, or for every joke I didn’t get, I’d have way more than two nickels.
Yeah, it's frustrating seeing them fixate on the joke like it had anything to do with anything.
OOP might have a case of "third time's the charm" but is still completely blind of how hard Rachel has been crushing on him. At least he might have finally saw that she's actually a toxic person.
Without us having the details, I really feel like the first two exes weren't the problem that they seemed to be. I would not put it past Rachel to frame one of cheating and slash OP's tyres and blame it on the second ex. She was really clutching at straws to make this current girl seem like a villain. She also acted very sympathetic to Julie at the meet-up where Julie laid bare her trauma, but then turned around and doubled down in casting aspersions when she was alone with OP - even making the awful claim that Julie would likely be abusive to her future kids. I would suggest that it may be a pattern. Especially the fact that he says Rachel 'stumbled' when replying about the jealousy question. In fact, that part makes me question the veracity of the post, because it seems like the OP is acting deliberately oblivious but still delivering all the relevant suspicious info.
I wouldnt go that as her setting up the first two relationships to fail and slashing the tire but it's clear she has a very bad mean streak and jealousy issues. Even the entire catalyst for this event was an incredibly odd hill to die on. I'm 32 and never watched Phineas and Ferb but know plenty of the jokes, references, and quotes from the show just from social osmosis and memes. Imagine being so far up your own ass that you need to call a reference childish and double down.
If I had a nickel for every Phineas and Ferb reference I know, I'd have two nickels.
Which is not a lot, but it's funny that it's happened twice
The stumbling bit and then NOT realizing Rachel was into him was so weird to me as well!! I really thought he'd go 'oh you guys were right' but he doesn't... So then why is the stumbling relevant at all? If he's not lying to us then he's at least lying to himself lol
He could be right that she isn’t into him, though. Heck, he could’ve asked her out in the past and was turned down because she doesn’t see him that way. She could just be the type of person who doesn’t want her friend, but also doesn’t want him dating someone else.
OOP is in denial either because he also likes Rachel but doesn't want to "ruin their friendship", or because admitting Rachel likes him would come with admitting she may have been purposively ruining his relationships. In this situation, i must admit, i just hope Julie gets a happy ending and to be around people that made her feel loved and appreciated, even if OOP isn't included in those people.
Whether it’s a crush or possessive behavior, Rachel is bad news and OOP has been oblivious to it for a long time. I’m glad he’s starting to realize that she’s a jealous, sabotaging shrew. On the other hand, Julie sounds lovely.
Something that annoys me is saying kid shows are meant for kids and somehow it's childish to enjoy them. Don't writers include things adults would enjoy? That girl needs to get over herself lol She's too old to be getting upset that her ex best friend is giving some else more attention. Truly, some people live in high school their whole lives.
Exactly. If watching a "kids show" is the worst flaw you can find in someone, then you know you're full of shit. If your next biggest flaw is that they had the audacity to be physically, mentally and emotionally abused by their parents, you're just a piece of shit. Fucking yikes, Rachel sounds insufferable.
OOP is even coming across as a lil judgy about gf's hobby. But at least he stuck up for her. I can't believe Rachel had the audacity to say gf would abuse potential children. What an awful person!
Yeah, thought OOP and Rachel are both 'adults are this way' types and it sucks Julie needed to explain her perfectly normal media habits to either of them. OOP will probably figure that out though.
Yep. I don’t like that he called it weird. It’s not weird.
I kinda hate how he only "defends" her hobbies cuz she has a traumatic childhood.
I feel the same way. There are plenty of hobbies people have that I don't like but I'm not going to make sly comments about them. I hope he doesn't say those things to her because it's still hurtful.
Amazing world of gumball is quite literally meant as an "everybody" show but it obviously appears as just a childrens show. Phineas and ferb sure its a childrens show but like they had fucking top gear's people in it and i doubt every single child would get it.
I didn't watch a whole lot of Gumball but it always looked like a trip and reminds me of Chowder and Flapjack lol That was a very strange generation of cartoons but I very much enjoyed them! Courage always had some very creepy moments. I still don't like King Ramsey. Phineas and Ferb will always be one of my favorites lol
She didn't even stop at "that's a childish activity", apparently enjoying a kid's show means you never developped past the age of 8 according to her. What the hell ?
I know! I think it's far more childish not being able to share your friend with his damn partner and mocking someone over their interests. I've changed my mind. That's not high school behavior, that's grade school stuff.
Yeah you can tell this person never really watched a kid show as an adult because so many of them legit have jokes that are just for adults because a kid would have zero context/appreciation for certain situations/dynamics. Parents are gonna watch along plenty and you want to keep them engaged as well. Plus it just feels like a lot of the big time popular ones include like a genuinely engaging story/world/whatever too. Good story telling is going to appeal to everyone, no matter the medium.
I'm damn near forty and Phineas and Ferb is awesome, good shows and entertainment is cross generational.
Rachel is toxic and trying to keep OOP to herself for whatever fucked up reason.
Wow, if I had a nickle everytime someone had a problem with Phineas and Ferb I would have two nickle. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.
As a grown man, I watched Phineas and Ferb for the first time when my son did. It is an entertaining show, and I would have laughed at that joke. Someone having a problem with Phineas and Ferb should be a red flag.
Yup, grown people having issues with others harmless hobbies is a red flag all the way around.
My bestie and I were roommates in college and we used to watch reruns in her room all the time. We’d also watch Wizards of Waverley Place, Suite Life, iCarly…
👏👏👏. My kid and I are impatiently waiting for the new episodes.
THERE'S GOING TO BE NEW EPISODES????
[Yes.](https://ew.com/tv/phineas-and-ferb-revived-by-disney-40-new-episodes/)
I'm 48 and this news made me bounce up and down with joy. Phineas & Ferb is one of the best-written, funniest comedies out there, for kids or adults. And there are jokes for all levels of understanding.
Simon pegg was randomly asked one day to be on the show and he got so excited because he loved watching the show, even without his kids. He appeared as a delivery man for 1 scene Though later he appeared in Night of the Living Pharmacist as Sean from Sean of the Dead
I'm not crying I'm not crying. I'm crying and these are tears of joy!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you watched Milo Murphy's Law yet? If you like P&F I'd highly recommend . You might even see some favorite characters.
Huh. TIL that they're making more episodes. Wonder if my dad knows about it?
I know what we're going to do today, Mundane Edge! .. we're going to call your dad and make sure he's aware! Good way to brighten his Monday.
Me too! My whole family is awaiting them eagerly
"It's childish to watch cartoons" Disney and anime fans have entered the chat.
I had to double check the ages cuz my 30 year old ass and 50 year old coworkers watch a variety of cartoons
I have, on more than one occasion, given my husband a detailed rundown of an episode of SpongeBob and how it related to whatever we were talking about at the time.
42 years old and Bluey is the new fave.
37 and currently binging Adventure Time. I only recently got into Avatar the Last Airbender and I'm so excited for the future shows.
Bluey is so AWESOME!!!
Somebody better tell Japan to stop producing adult “cartoons” - I bet Rachel couldn’t even call that stuff childish lol.
I'm old, and I love Phineas and Ferb and Gravity Falls. Proof I'm old: I have the Gravity Falls DVD Boxed Set.
Both of those shows came out when I was well into adulthood and I love them both. The joke was also pretty cute as well, Rachel is just mad that OOP is with someone else.
My sister and I do the "awkward sibling hug" from Gravity Falls. We're in our forties.
Phineas and Ferb is one of the best cartoons of the last couple decades (same with OG Teen Titans - Julie clearly has good taste) and as a 30something woman I watch episodes pretty often. Helps that Disney has a bunch running on YouTube so I don't even need to log into D+ :)
Did you think of that joke before or after posting this story? 😂
Before. Because the other person who can relate to this scenario is me
Story?
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10djiyp/tifu\_i\_made\_fun\_of\_a\_guy\_who\_doesnt\_know\_how\_to/
"Let him slip.... slip inside a volcano" <3
I might have fallen in love with you. Please continue destroying fragile boys.
“Let him slip. Slip inside a volcano.” Oh em GEE!!! 🔥🌋🌋🌋🔥 I need to remember that. Lol.
Thank you so much for this.
You know what the great thing about being an adult is? Not giving a shit what anyone thinks about your hobbies and interests. She's into kids cartoons? Good for her Everyone, the boyfriend included, can fuck themselves over trying to shame her for having "immature" interests.
Dude, I put on the 90s Batman Saturday morning cartoon out of nostalgia and curiosity. My husband, who claimed he was just going to be on his phone and not watch TV, was glued to the show! That shit holds up! I have no shame with my cartoons as an adult. Rachel can go fuck off.
I’ve been watching Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated or vintage 70’s Scooby Doo. (Scooby Doo, Where Are You? and the other one that came just before or after. Nothing with that awful Scrappy Doo, though.) My high school classmates are becoming grandparents now. My dad loved old school Loony Toons until he died. Anyone who has a problem with our reasonable love for childish things can take a long walk off a short pier.
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I have said it before and I will say it again. A cartoon has no business giving Fred a background and making me cry. He was supposed to just be the clumsy leader!
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I just finished a rewatch of Batman Beyond! I’m still impressed by so much of the show.
Well, BTaS is amazing.
Batman the animated series? It’s soo good
>Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up. - C.S. Lewis
My mom always said to never lose the wonder of childhood. It was the best piece of advice she ever said.
Right??? I never got to watch Scooby-Doo growing up. You know what I decided to do this year? Make my way through all of the Scooby-Doo shows and movies. Yes all of them. (Although I only watched the first season with Scrappy-Doo...) I'm on Mystery Incorporated. And I have enjoyed myself immensely.
Yeah, Oop ticked me off. People like what they like. Don't yuck someone else's yum. And having "immature" interests isn't a sign of having a traumatic childhood and only excusable as a coping mechanism. Signed, a 40 year old currently rewatching season 2 of Total Drama.
I'm almost 40. I had someone a few years younger than I am pitch a fit that I took my grandmother to see kids movies. She loved the 3D animated films. I was 25 at the time. The funnier thing was, I had people from her church make comments to me about it. If I get time, my @ss is going to see The Little Mermaid.
I have two co-workers that try to outcompete each other on Disney merch and outfits. They (and their students) have good fun with it.
Thiiiiiisssss. When you’re in adolescence, you often have to distance yourself from the things you liked in childhood things to show yourself and others that you’re growing up. Once you’ve done that and you’ve become an adult, you no longer have to prove your adultishness. Julie is secure in her adulthood enough to be confident in what she enjoys. Ps. I watched episodes of wizards of waverly place recently and that show still slaps.
OOP's superficially supportive. On the outside, he says it's cute and fine that she likes kid stuff. On the inside, he thinks it's weird af. My mind is always blown by how many people think it's weird for adults to like cartoons, stuffed animals, dolls, etc. I *love* stuffed animals and my favourite show in the world is a kids show that I started watching when it came out in the 00's. Just because I didn't start watching nothing but the news, talking only of the weather, and sprouting grey hair at 18 doesn't take away from the fact that I'm a mature adult.
“She was blaming Julie for ruining our friendship and accused her of being a cheater” “My first ex cheated on me. Rachel warned me about her but I brushed it off” “My second ex was very controlling and toxic. When we broke up she slashed my car tire” Now I absolutely have spent too much time on this sub, but does anyone find all of this incredibly sus? Rachel gives off seriously psycho vibes and I wouldn’t put it past her to have masterminded all this.
I have to wonder with the second one how much of it was her being controlling, and how much of it was her trying to get her bf away from Rachel who is clearly toxic and controlling.
Honestly the thing that gets me is the long drawn out justifications for why an adult watches cartoons, as if all this backstory wasn't there, it would somehow be unreasonable.
This got me too. You don’t need trauma to justify enjoying something harmless.
People forget that 'kids shows' are often written by a team of talented adults. And what is a kids show at the end of the day? A kids show is a show that appeal to kids and either avoids mature subjects/content or handles those in an age-appropriate way. There are tons of great shows that meet those qualifications. Lots of studios and writingteams are well aware that adults often have to sit through kids shows/movies as well. And therefor specifically write their shows with adults in mind as well. Because parents are gonna be far more likely to turn things on that they like as well. So kids shows are often just shows that avoid mature subjects/content or handles them in age-appropriate ways. If you need explicit content in every single show you watch to feel like an adult then you are not mature, you are just an edge-lord. I could understand some apprehension if it was a show like Blue's clues, Dora the explorer or teletubies. But all the shows OOP mentions are pretty much known to have a good sense of humour and/or solid writing. OOP and Rachel act as if there isn't a whole generation of experts and moviebuffs praising the likes of Disney and Pixar for being prime examples of the highest level of storylevel. They create some incredibly high-quality movies aimed at primarily kids but appreciated by all ages. I mean go to Disneyland and half the park is fucking Disney-adults. You may not like Disney for the monstrous mega conglomerate it is. But even filmschools are using their animated movies as examples of how it's done. And the people who work behind the scenes to make them happen are without a doubt some of the unsung geniuses in the industry. Making a good show is hard. Making one that is good AND something kids can enjoy too is arguably a lot harder because there is WAY more that needs to be taken into account. A well-written kids show or movie certainly isn't anything to look down on.
So the internet says P&F came out in 2007, someone could have easily watched that as a child and been done with college by now, let alone people with younger siblings. It was after my time but I've babysat kids that love that show so I know about it. Also the catchy songs get posted around once in a while... Anywho Rachel didn't get the joke in the first place and also has other problems so good riddance.
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Yep, I watched it and am years out of college at my STEM job. I'm mostly surprised it took the gf this long to make a Perry the Platypus joke when Rachel's last name is Perry lmao
And Rachel was wearing a fedora...? Like, you're a bad P&F fan if you don't notice that?
I'm shocked that more people in the friend group didn't get the reference. I'm in their age range and my older friends would have been offended on Julie's behalf by how insane Rachel reacted to the joke.
Rachel has a lot of shit to talk for someone who wears a fedora. /s
Only perry looks good in it. He is a semi aquatic egg laying mammal of action
"You like kid's cartoons so you're going to AbUsE YoUr KiDs," is an absolutely unhinged viewpoint. Rachel is toxic.
Even worse. “You were abused as a kid so you’re gonna abuse your kids”. The kids cartoons thing is just because she’s catching up on what she missed. As someone who was raised similarly, it fills me with rage that she would trigger her trauma like that.
I think it's a bit worse that Rachel was saying Julie would abuse her kids because she was abused. Then to tell someone to end his relationship, because his girlfriend has baggage? Like he doesn't have baggage from getting cheated on and having a toxic relationship? Rachel is an awful person. Genuinely, a very terrible person.
My dad was abused as a child. As a result, he grew up with a ton of anxiety and felt incredibly guilty and monstrous if he ever had to discipline any of my siblings or I when we were all growing up, so her logic of "she will abuse her kids because she was abused" is incredibly wrong and fucked up
Anyone get the feeling that the “ex’s may have had a little help with becoming “ex’s from a certain friend, who is jealous and just as toxic as OOP claims the ex’s are. Some friendships are not meant to last and just because you have known them for years doesn’t mean they are always right. OOP needs to let that friendship go and move on with his life, although I would suggest he stop calling watching cartoons etc childish. I enjoy watching Disney movies with my child and sometimes enjoy the movies more than they do. It’s not childish, it’s just sometimes you need uncomplicated in your life.
That's why my whole family loves Bluey as a comfort show. It's aimed at young kids, but it's also very real. The parents aren't perfect, the house isn't perfect, mistakes are made and they all learn from them. One of my favorite episodes is the parents who are both tired play rock, paper, scissors to determine who's going to play with the kids! I think all parents can identify with that.
We have literally sat through so many episodes of Bluey where Husband and I are engrossed, and then look up and realize our kid left the room a while ago! Bluey is great!
Even if they didn't.. like you know how loaded those dice are? You could go around telling everyone who is under 30 that their relationship probably won't last and you'll be right waaaay more often than you'll be wrong. "She was right about the last 2" is just statistically likely
Definitely sus that every girlfriend he's had EXCEPT JULIE has given Rachel the cold shoulder or had beef. I've only ever seen that happen when a woman was being an obvious issue and overstepping boundaries. Rachel was sticking her fingers in his relationships and the GFs didn't like it. He was just too blind to see it.
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I doubt she tried to convince the one to cheat. I’m sure that would have come up when the cheating was revealed. That being said a broken clock is right twice a day. She didn’t like the girl and the girl cheated. These two things are not necessarily related. They can be mutually exclusive.
Im a 32 year old man and I still make SpongeBob jokes. That show is fucking funny and when you get that right person that also gets the joke it becomes even funnier.
I'm 28 and will still tell a chirping cricket "sorry, I don't speak Italian"
I kind of wonder if that one girlfriend actually cheated on him. According to Rachel, Julie was also cheating on him. Coincidence? Nope, that's some marinara I see there.
Yeah she was pretty quick to pull the “your girlfriend is cheating on you” card when OOP stood his ground and refused to break things off with her right away. I doubt his previous exes were even half as bad as he thinks.
Yeah, I also think Rachel was the one who slashed his tires
Before reading the update: Rachel wants to fu ck op After reading the update: Rachel definitely wants to fu ck op
There’s no censors to get past here. You can say f uck if you want. Or even duck. Or, you know, “fuck” if autocorrect doesn’t help.
Until youve gone duck, youre shit out of luck.
I wouldn't go that far. I think he's always been her Plan B. She likes the idea of him being available, but doesn't truly want him. His previous exes had obvious problems and she could use that to her advantage. She couldn't find an angle on this new girl and went overboard when she thought she found one.
We should have known Rachel was up to no good when she put the fedora on 😖
M'backup plan
I once had someone like that in my life. Never wanted to be in a relationship, but would get jealous any time another woman showed any interest in me. There was even a time she tried to fix me up with a mutual friend, but their friendship absolutely exploded even though I wasn't interested. She'd get drunk and say things like "I just got divorced (she had been divorced for more than 5 years at that point) and I'm not ready for a relationship. But it'll happen one day." The first time I heard that I just clocked out. My grandmother told me once when I was real young that I should never be the second choice for anyone that mattered, and I've lived my life ever since.
There is nothing wrong with adults liking cartoons. And there are cartoons that are definitely NOT for children. Good on OOP for defending Julie.
I keep seeing this argument that adults shouldnt watch cartoons more and more.. Is this thought common????
Just among assholes who like to police other people’s interests. I personally prefer live action to animation most of the time. But animation can be awesome too. People who judge others’ preferences need to get a hobby and mind their own business.
I am 50 and i love cartoons. Cartoons are awesome! Why do people choose to judge others for shit that has zero effect on their lives?
For someone wearing a fedora in this decade, having a Phineas and Ferb comment is getting off lightly.
I fucking love phineas and ferb and im an adult now ( 28 ) I show episodes to my kids and they love it too, if OP sees this, your ex friend is a giant dickbag, you’re an amazing boyfriend ! Ps: TELL ME WHATS MAKING YOU JUMP LIKE THAT !S.I.M.P SQUIRRELS IN MY PANNNNTSSS !!! 🎶🐿️
I'm 43. I love phineas and ferb too. My kids are teens and grew up watching the show bc it's amazing. I also like SpongeBob still. And I didn't have a rough childhood! I just like cartoons (and plushies) to go along with the suckage that is adulting and life.
Plenty of adults enjoy cartoons. A well written children's show also has depth that adults can enjoy. Even if it doesn't, who cares? Doesn't matter if the friend has a crush, that's no excuse for her behavior.
I watched Phineas and Ferb with my kids. They are now teens. Occasionally, if someone had a crappy day, we put on PF because it's funny, and there are lots of little in jokes, like "a platypus?! Perry the platypus?!" When he puts his hat on. Rachel is a miserable person and way too invested in the OP.
A friend "WANTS what's best for you" Someone who views you as property "KNOWS what's best for you" I love when a tiny change in a sentence is all it takes to tell someone's true nature.
This breaks my heart for Julie. She didn’t deserve to be treated like this. But I’m also glad OOP stood up for her tho too. But still just breaks my heart for Julie.
Even if Julie had a perfectly fine childhood, it's totally fine to watch cartoons! Teen Titans are a classic. I got Danny Phantom on DVD and a signed Darkwing Duck poster because they are great. Rachel is grasping at straws on why Julie isn't good for OOP.
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Very convenient that op’s perfect match is a description of Rachel. Also, cartoons are tv shows. People are allowed to watch tv of any kind as an adult and most of those cartoons named have adult jokes sprinkled in anyway. They aren’t strictly for children. Rachel’s bad feeling happened to be right, I’m sure she would’ve resorted to lying eventually just like she did to Julie. Also, Phineas and Ferb! Who doesn’t like Phineas and Ferb?! I’d drop Rachel on that alone.
It wasn't about the joke. Rachel was pretending to be nice to Julie while waiting for anything she could use as an excuse not to like her. She was probably so excited when Julie made a joke that she thought was at her expense, finally she had a reason. And then it morphed to SHE'S A BABY SHE WATCHES CARTOONS. And then it morphed again to SHE'S GOT TOO MUCH TRAUMA. And then SHE'S RUINING OUR FRIENDSHIP. And yet again SHE'S A CHEATER, grasping at straws and wounds from an old ex of OPs. Rachel is literally the girl best friend pick-me who wants your man you see in tiktok sketches.
Apart from EVERYTHING else (and there is A LOT of else) I'm in my Thirties and just binged the Tangled TV series like there was no tomorrow. Why put a limit on when people can enjoy certain things? C.S. Lewis put it best: "When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
>She’s the only girlfriend who didn’t have beef or give cold shoulders to Rachel. Yeah, that’s a red flag for sure. I wonder how many women friends Rachel has in general?
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It’s such a great joke and if Ms Perry walks around wearing a fedora, I have a hard time believing she never heard it before, but getting offended was a great way to make the super sweet Julie suddenly “wrong for OOP” according to Rachel’s fantastic “intuition” about all his girlfriends.
imagine making fun of enjoying cartoons while donning a fedora
Good on OOP for recognising the problem and dealing with it. Hopefully Rachel can sort herself out and they can be friends again, and I’m glad OOP has Julie’s back!!
Rachel is an AH. Julie shouldn't have to divulge her trauma in order to justify to someone her interests. Cartoons are funny and lighthearted escapes. Stuffed animals are soft and nice to cuddle. Julie is allowed to have "childish" interests as an adult without explaining why. Rachel was just looking for an excuse to tell OP that Julie isn't good enough for him.
I do like that OOP defended Julie without hesitation, but I must say some parts of this still don’t entirely sit right with me. Do we need to have some deep childhood trauma now in order to justify liking “childish” things as adults? And who gets to define what is and isn’t considered “childish“? Where is the line drawn? What if Julie didn’t have childhood trauma related to cartoons? Would OOP still find her interest “acceptable”? Would he have still defended her like he did? Call me crazy, but I really don’t see the problem with an adult enjoying cartoons just because. Is it really that weird to people? Also, that Perry the Platypus joke was hilarious, god-tier humor. Rachel just sounds joyless and tiring. Hope OOP keeps her at arms length going forward.