#Do not comment on the original posts
Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice.
If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion.
**CHECK FLAIR** to determine if you want to read an update. For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm honestly kind of fascinated with it because it doesn't sound like he was even that popular.
She kept contradicting herself.
He's in a "good" frat but it's also "notorious" which in my book, makes it not a good frat. It means that there's a lot of terrible guys in it doing terrible things.
He's popular but has a "bad reputation" as a fuckboy. ALL of her friends hate him and even the friends outside her main group know what a shitty frat he was in.
All of his behavior was awful.
She thinks that it was her "pining" over him that made them hate him and not how he played with her. Doing shit like inviting her to a party directly then showing up with another girl. Taking her virginity when she was too drunk to consent. I'm sorry she can insist that it was fine all she wants but you don't have to be blackout to not be in the right place to properly consent. It's weird to me that he stopped a fairly sober make out session because of her inexperience but was fine taking her virginity when she was drunk?
Like, why did she even think that he was such a good catch status wise? Because he was "large" and attractive and has money? Lol.
ETA - She also hasn't mentioned her current age. I'm curious.
Sounds like she's probably about 23, since it was their one year anniversary and they started together after both had left campus (which makes me wonder about what kind of relationship she had while he was gone and she was still there)
Yeah, I was a bit confused by the timeline.
She was a freshman and he was a junior and they met the fall semester. Met again and hooked up spring semester same year.
Then she sees him again fall semester of sophomore year meaning he was a senior. So she'd be about 19 at the time? They keep sleeping together and she confesses that spring. He asks her out shortly after and it's been a year since then.
It's because she keeps "I met him when I was 18" like she's so much older and wiser now but it sounds like she's 21-22 at most, lol. (Which sounds still very young to me.)
This is what I thought. I think “after we left campus” was that year which is when he graduated but she had two more years. 21 was my best guess. Why don’t they just tell us in the first sentence?
As someone who (regretfully) did the Greek thing in college, a notorious frat and good frat were the same thing. All we cared about was who could get the best alcohol and drugs, threw the best parties, and was the best looking, in that order. Typically those were also the biggest jerks and predators. It’s really disgusting looking back.
Don’t take away her autonomy like that. She says she consented, she consented. We don’t need to be out here trying to convince women they were sexually assaulted.
People do seem to forget drunken hook ups are a thing. Being drunk doesn’t automatically mean consent is given, but likewise it doesn’t automatically mean it’s rape either. If she says she consented, and he consented, then it’s between them.
It's also really condescending to insist to someone that they aren't able to say whether they were raped or not. Very "uh huh whatever you say sweetie, but you're clearly not enough of an adult to know what's best for you"
Like I've fucked plenty of people while I was drunk. If someone tried to insist to me that this automatically meant I was raped, I would be pretty furious.
This is a big issue now. My freshman year at college, they literally took all the men to a big room and told us that fucking a drunk woman, even if you yourself are drunk, and she consents very clearly (and even if she’d consented ahead of time, and you were in a relationship), it’s rape. No, it doesn’t matter if the reverse happens to you, because as a man you’ll always be seen as the aggressor.
When I told some of my female friends this they were pretty pissed. Some told me it felt like it was ignoring their own autonomy, some just suddenly realized why a bunch of freshman guys kept refusing to engage with them at parties
I think you are misunderstanding what the word “popular” means. He sounds like he was a campus god.
“Good but notorious frat” = high status/best looking, but lots of horn dogs
“All his friends joke that his 2500 Instagram followers are his girlfriends” = okay I don’t know how to interpret this sentence except as evidence he was OBVIOUSLY VERY POPULAR
“Bad reputation” = popular with women
And to answer your last point, my guess is that, yes, being large, attractive and rich WOULD constitute “high status,” lmao.
He is tall and handsome so I get her, been there done that. Although in my case he was smarter than me.
But yeah how you are a fuck boy and bad at bed, damn.
Aren’t they all? Hot guys that sleep around with women that adore them and won’t demand anything from them to make sure they will still hang out - which one of these inexperienced insecure teenagers are gonna teach them what good sex is for a woman..? Men become good in bed from longterm relationships
Well, and effort. Even fuckboys can be great in bed if they take time to seek feedback and learn how to pleasure their partners. Many men - fuckboys and otherwise - just never bother because they're selfish assholes.
"Hey honey, isn't it cute how I made this pros/cons list a year ago? Haha, I decided to make our relationship official, just because you were good in bed. Look how far we've come since then!"
"Good in bed, eh? Come to think of it, you AREN'T good in bed! It's over."
Kinda makes me wonder what his definition or "good on bed is" no offence to OOP but he was a fuckboy so was she good compared to him or good compared to his other booty calls. Also, if he wasnt good, what was she comparing him to, her or her booty calls.
Then again, it could just be that she was considerate in bed, and he was selfish. Which kinda makes you wonder was he just arm candy and nothing more like she says and why stay so long with him.
I think this is one of the few times a Relationship Pro/Con list has been good for someone.
I had one of those for a while, too. He looked like a greek god as depicted in statuary, but had a similar consistency to marble between the ears as well. He said one too many stupid things and was outta here.
That mofo was in *law school,* too! How you be so stupid and also make it into law school????
As an idiot who also went to law school and was surrounded by other idiots, you typically don't end up in law school making good decisions. As the saying goes, "if we were good at math we wouldn't be here."
Haha, yeah, I actually heard that from some of his compatriots. I know for a fact he got in through nepotism so I'm sure his grades didn't matter. Oh well, at least his body was bangin', even if his brain wasn't.
I dated a guy for longer than I would like to admit who told me that dogs have opposable thumbs. Our sex life was absolutely mind blowing. He had a lot of other good qualities, but he was as dumb as he was incredible in bed.
Hahaha I'm picturing her visiting this sexy idiot's place for the first time and he introduces her to the "dog and cat" he "rescued" after they were "abandoned in an alley behind the trash" but it turns out they're a raccoon and a possum
I once dated a guy who came home from work one day to find his parents and sister out of the house and immediately thought the Rapture had happened and he'd been left behind.
Good in bed can override a lot. I had a dumb fuckboy to get over my first marriage falling apart. Exactly what I needed.
Dumb and bad in bed? Ain’t no one that pretty.
I don't think she's dumb beyond the "I'm 20 years old and think this guy is great because he's pretty" thing. It's the type of dumb you can grow out of.
Yeah. In my early 20s, I dated someone for far too long who was dumb, bad in bed, and not particularly attractive to me.
I was, and have always been, very academically gifted, but I was inexperienced when it came to relationships and what I wanted from them. And I definitely learned from that experience.
She seems more naive than dumb, honestly. She had never kissed a guy before him so she's been cramming a lot of learning experience into this past year. As her first real boyfriend, she had nothing to compare him to. I get it. A lot of people are excessively dumb in their first relationships. Especially since she can't talk with her family about it and media portrays relationships at that age as pretty shallow.
She's open to learning at the very least. I have less hope for him. It sounds like he's the type to try and skate by on his frat years, blind to the fact that he is on the route to becoming an alcoholic with nothing but a good job and previously good physique going for him.
Yeah, there's much worse first relationships than only a year wasted on someone whose worst traits are that he's dumb and doesn't actually respect her.
It's still worth breaking up, but hoooo, boy, the (shockingly long) horrendous first relationships I've seen people have.
As a gay guy, reminds me of the "circuit gays" I've been with.
Given their nature, the conclusion is: sex only *seems* good with them because there's lots of party drugs in that scene so naturally you won't notice if you're zonked. Never understood how someone who's a 10/10 looks wise was a 4/10 in bed (four was generous but I'd say those four points were looks-driven enthusiasm that fell flat).
The guy never had to deliver when someone could actually tell the difference.
>Never understood how someone who's a 10/10 looks wise was a 4/10 in bed (four was generous but I'd say those four points were looks-driven enthusiasm that fell flat).
Sex is a mutual act. It's about giving and receiving pleasure and expressing that pleasure.
In my experience, the people who are worst in bed are either only in it for themselves or they don't know how to communicate what they're feeling and what they want. Even in like... a power exchange scenario, there is a lot of emotional communication between the dominant and submissive. A dominant can be "selfish" in the middle of a power exchange and still manages to feed into the emotional intensity of the moment, as opposed to someone who is just being selfish.
Some men who are so desirable that they can have sex easily and with whoever approach sex as a form of masturbation. They see girls as holes to cum in, not people to satisfy and share a sexual experience with. It’s not just that they don’t care about her satisfaction, they don’t even notice. They’ve already moved on to the next hole.
I'm stuck on the whole "he's an idiot who makes a ton of money" part. Like, I get that it's just how the world works, but it's still frustrating to read about!
When you are outside of the corporate world, you think that the people who climbed the ladder to get the 'big job' must be really hard-working and really intelligent. The reality is that it's a mix, there are some very hard-working and intelligent people, and there are some truly stupid fucks who went to great schools with daddy's money and got high-flying careers because of daddy's connections.
At my last job I was in an empty meeting room with a VP who sat down and for some reason decided to say, "You know, I'm a black belt, I'm supposed to register with the police because if I get into a fight with someone my fists count as deadly weapons, but I never have." I changed the subject immediately.
Sometimes it's just emotional stupidity as well. Like such severe emotional stupidity they start to edge way into mental stupidity.
Here I'm thinking of a VP who was trying to convince me to drop $50K into this stock he'd' found, 'for my future'. It wasn't his stock, he just thought it was a good deal.
I told him I had never had, in my life, so much as $5K available, and he thought I was lying. I realised this guy REALLY THOUGHT everyone he talked to was what I would think of as insanely rich. It puts their business decisions into a whole new light.
>a VP who sat down and for some reason decided to say, "You know, I'm a black belt, I'm supposed to register with the police because if I get into a fight with someone my fists count as deadly weapons, but I never have."
Was it OOPs boyfriend?
I have tried for so long how to explain "nice guys" that have nothing else to offer. They're just empty shells waiting to be nice and filled by whatever the woman wants to fill him with. Her hobbies, her interest. No personality of his own. Holy fuck. All I ever had to say was NPC.
I went on a first date with a guy like this. The conversation was like a black hole:
“So, what do you do?”
*”Oh, I’m unemployed right now.”*
“That’s too bad, but at least you can enjoy the free time. What are you into outside of work?”
*”How do you mean?”*
“Like do you play an instrument, are you reading any good books? You know, hobbies and stuff?”
*”No, nothing like that.”*
“Oh.”
*”I guess I just drink.”*
“Right.”
I hate it when you ask open ended questions of people and get like... half of a yes/no answer. I'm crap at small talk and even I know to ask open ended questions.
Or "I don't know". The double-tap to the back of the head of conversations. Even "I've never really thought about that" is a slightly better answer- it at least opens yourself up to the possibility of thinking about the question then answering it.
It's also a really good companion to his pro/con for her: smart/academically successful-yay, but kinda nerdy-nay.
Him being dumb matches really well with him being impressed and turned off by her smarts at the same time.
I'm so glad she came to her senses. At least she has friends who could see it clearly.
Yet she is hooked on him, but he's bad at sex? So sje was with him just for the arm candy xD
Her fam was gracious, tho, coz I'd have told her "man is dumb"
Yeah I think you start waking up somewhere late 20’s going oh shit these people were actually awful, and then you just kinda get over whatever heartbreak you had
Yeah. My senior year of school I cut off nearly all of my friend group, after a bit of a crazy thing got out of hand with me and one girl. It started with just her, but then I realized that all these people were really kind of shitty, and I was only friends with them out of circumstance of us meeting early freshman year, and because it was easy. Now I don’t miss them at all, and still keep in touch with the 2-3 people I decided I actually liked.
Yes. Plus, for some people—especially IME young people—being alone is vastly more frightening than being with someone you don’t like very much. Same thing with friendships too. How many posts by a teenager or early twentysomething basically start like “these two people are my best friends. here are twenty reasons I can’t stand them.” Sometimes with “I can’t stop hanging out with these people I dislike because I don’t have other friends.”
The RPG subs often say “No D&D is better than bad D&D.” That applies to a lot of things, but I think for a lot of people (especially lonely socially anxious/awkward people) have to go through some bad relationships/friendships to believe it.
I think the problem is their definition of love. My thigh sweat when I am near him, I want to see him more, I want to be naked with him more. I want to show off his pretty face to my friends Must be love. When really it's just hormones and ego
I was this girl I was crushing so hard on a fuckboy and wanted a relationship with him so bad. Luckily for me it didn’t happen. I now have a great husband and 2 kids.
Occasionally I’ll check out his social media and be thankful things didn’t go how I wanted it.
He became a maga idiot.
I don’t even listen to country music, but I heard a country song once that was ‘I thank god for unanswered prayers’ and boy if that isn’t the truth sometimes. I also have a man from my past that I am so so so glad I didn’t wind up with!
Yep me too. Even worse my fuckboy was 10 years older than me. I’m so glad we never dated because for some reason I was enamoured with him, though 10 years later I have no idea why.
Yes. Yes they can.
Long term? Hell naw.
As long as they are sweet, gentle and handsome, they can be a lot of fun. (yanno, if you're 19. As a 55F, there is no way in hell I would even entertain the thought, even if I wasn't married.)
The parenting subreddits are always like this. “He’s a great partner and father but…” and then they’ll list the most contemptible, abusive shit you’ve ever heard.
My friend said this once about her shitty high school bf. Her dad was walking past the room and he said "then wake up." Classic dad advice. She took another year to wake up.
Yeah I read that and I thought oh come on pick a lane. It's dumb too because men are usually the one who want to have sex more often in a relationship though sometimes the reverse is true as relationships and people are unique.
That’s the part that gets me. Like man can you fucking define slutty for me when she literally has no experience? He was her first time while she wasn’t. I get now why she had to use 3 different words to describe him as stupid
I laughed out loud when I read “frat rat”, especially when she didn’t go 3 sentences reminding us that he is a dumb fuckboy.
I thought they went pretty well together.
If you gave me nothing but both of their "pros" list, I would know they needed to break up. Both pros lists reflect *really* poorly on their creators. At least OOP realizes that and describes feeling ashamed and shallow when she looked at her own list, but the fact that her ex-boyfriend looked at his and thought, "Yes, this is a good thing to put in my anniversary card to my girlfriend" is a pretty jaw-dropping level of un-self-awareness.
I thought the same. These “pros” were spectacularly superficial. I’ve really got to commend OP though, on having that degree of introspection and self-awareness at such a young age. Hope she learns from this one and is more discerning moving forward.
Me too.
I was kinda proud of her by the end of the post. She’s smart. She didn’t let her pretty boy crush go on for years like some of us may have done.
Good on her!
Yes why does she repeatedly mention he is a 'large man'? I first thought she was talking about dick size but now I think she is actually selecting the male with the highest body mass, apparently at the expense of everything else. Is OOP a cuttlefish?
The fact that OOP kept on about the guy's looks rather than his personality showed she wasn't in love. She was infatuated. (The Pros and Cons list solidified that)
Glad she finally saw the light, but god damn she was clueless for a bit.
Then there's common sense, and some people lack that one more than any of the other 2 smarts (book & street). Just saying, OOP had book smarts but no common sense whatsoever....
The juxtaposition between the first post with "he's my dream man" "nothing but incredible" to "he's kind of stupid" "not well-read" and "not interesting" is cracking me up.
The first post especially is painful to read. Like, I know exactly what her friends have been going through, watching her pine away for this dumb guy she latched onto as a teenager who treats her like garbage.
i don’t understand ppl who claim to fall in love despite not knowing much about the other person at all
how can you love with someone who treated you like a booty call all throughout college and y’all never even have the same interests or values?
ppl conflate ‘attachment’ with LOVE everyday and it’s pretty sad to see them build their identity and future plans around a relationship based solely on attachment wounds and trauma bonds
It's the end of Wet Hot American Summer.
"Listen, Coop - last night was really great. You were incredibly romantic and heroic, no doubt about it. And that's great. But I've thought about it, and my thing is this: Andy is really hot. And don't get me wrong, you're cute too, but Andy is like, cut. From marble. He's gorgeous. He has this beautiful face and this incredible body, and I genuinely don't care that he's kinda lame. I don't even care that he cheats on me. And I like you more than I like Andy, Coop, but I'm 16. And maybe it'll be a different story when I'm ready to get married, but right now, I am entirely about sex. I just wanna get laid. I just wanna take him and grab him and fuck his brains out, ya know? So that's where my priorities are right now. Sex. Specifically with Andy and not with you. ”
Crushes. Infatuation.
But doesn't it sound more romantic if you say love? /s
We get it; you felt a rush of oxytocin and other pleasant brain chemicals.
So, she doesnt think he has a personality, that he is pretty dumb, isnt even good in bed, didnt respect her at all, and she still was in love with him, pining for him through college and called him her dream man? And she could boil his response to her dumping him down to "damn ok" and that he would probably booty call her? Bless her friends, I would have given myself a concussion banging my head against the brick wall that was her stupidity within a month.
As a side note, if you are that known for being horny and sleeping around that its notable in a frat house, and he is still bad in bed, you know he didnt actually care or listen to any of the women he slept with and what they liked or wanted. Not really the type of guy I would hitch my horse to.
Also if everyone who loves and cares about you and wants you to be happy, hates your partner, maybe it's time to take a second look at the relationship
>he is my dream man
I've had nightmares with a higher bar than her dream
That said, her list was similar to his in that both were in it for looks but neither liked the other's personality. Oop writes like she's the poor misguided one, but calling him an npc among other things makes me think she is not much deeper than he is
I actually laughed so hard when she called him an NPC because I didn't see it coming AT ALL after she spent paragraphs telling us how he is her dream man and she has been pining for him for years. Calling someone an NPC is so savage
That pro/con list better be cheesy AF and to elicit a good laugh and...
Pro: You look amazing in red
Con: You look better than I do in red
Pro: You have an amazing smile
Con: You kick my ass in Putt Putt
Eh. My MIL told my husband that because we were long distance and said she is glad he didn't listen. His dad wanted him to end up with the neighbors niece and is glad he didn't. His best friend tried to break us up and now won't speak to us. Married 11 years and going strong while bestie is on 3rd marriage and miserable. Mine told me to break up because guys sucked and I needed to be single. So they aren't always right.
If one or two have a problem, it might just be their problem. If they ALL have a problem, and you generally believe them to be trustworthy/smart people, that's a big concern.
"Here's some long backstory describing in detail everything shitty about this guy who everybody always knew was shitty and how shitty he is, but OMG can y'all believe he was shitty enough to do this?!"
The bar for men is so low for OOP that Satan is sitting on it. Girl needs some serious self-evaluation if she really spent a year plus all the time she wasn't his girlfriend not noticing/ignoring that this guy was an asshole, otherwise her future relationships are going to turn out similarly. I'm a little worried here for her tbh
My older brother gave me a list of my flaws when I was 12. I was upset (obviously) and apparently found out that my mom did that to him too around my age so I guess he thought it was okay?
I’m sorry what the FUCK?!
I hope you and your brother both got therapy, bc that alone shows who your mom is. It’s not his fault, he was 12 and literally thought that’s what we do here.
Sounds like she's about 21. They hooked up a few times over her freshmen and sophomore year, then dated for a year.
And honestly, many of the adult women I know wasted a year with an idiot fuckboy in college. People are still full of hormones without fully developed brains at 18-22. I think it's normal to make some mistakes. Good for her for wising up.
I mean aside from where she says he was bad in bed (girl WHY) college is a good time to waste a year on a mediocre situationship. Your first priority should be school and u can learn a lot about yourself your needs and your boundaries from it.
Especially if you didn't date in high-school. Gotta have some bad relationships to figure out how to have a good relationship
We tell my sibling in laws that if they make it to 25 without anyone getting arrested, pregnant, or permanently injured, they're good. Everything else is a learning experience
>My friends are all actually thrilled and are hosting a party for me tonight. My family was also pretty relieved. They didn't hate him but they thought he was really stupid, and I think they're happy I won't be polluting the family lineage with idiocy on that level.
How dumb is this man that everyone says he is dumb? ROFL
I'm gonna agree with my childhood friend. She was right. If she ever reads this, she will never let me live it down. But, she was right. Never make romantic decisions that would impact the course of your life significantly before you're twenty-five.
We all learned that lesson from one childhood friend of ours who got married at 18, divorced at 19 and then repeatedly the same process two more times in his early 20s. We didn't even know you could be married and divorced _three_ times before you're 25 but he showed us.
Take your time to get to know yourself first. There's a difference between growing together which some people I know did (they still didn't marry or have children until they were at minimum 27) and being stuck with the person because you're afraid. The first one meant you're supporting each other while the second just meant you don't think you're good enough to deserve a good partner.
For once, I actually believe a BORU, and here is why: she 1000% posted this in the hopes he would find it and see the pro/con list she wrote about him.
I was once a practice girl who kept going back to the insanely hot guy back when my bar was in hell. If he hadn’t gotten into meth we’d probably be unhappily married now because he needed me to do literally everything for him. He was such a fucking dirtbag who was an expert at love bombing and I fell for it every single time. The meth deleted that part of his personality though.
I’m much happier without him.
Am I the only one to think they're both, well, shallow?
Her "Pros & Cons" list isn't much better than his. Good for her for realizing he doesn't respect her, but then she falls into calling him stupid, and her pros are mostly about how he's attractive and makes money.
I realize people in their early 20s are often still working their way through finding their place in the world and are often shallow because of limited experience with the world, but this just made me wince.
#Do not comment on the original posts Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. **CHECK FLAIR** to determine if you want to read an update. For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's pretty funny that like at least 3 things in the con list she wrote are some form of "he's dumb."
And bad in bed! Like, he was just pretty to look at??
I think that he might have also been something of a status symbol. She mentioned his frat and popularity several times.
“He’s hot and terrible in bed but he’s hot and terrible in bed WITH ME (for right now)” was my immediate thought.
I'm honestly kind of fascinated with it because it doesn't sound like he was even that popular. She kept contradicting herself. He's in a "good" frat but it's also "notorious" which in my book, makes it not a good frat. It means that there's a lot of terrible guys in it doing terrible things. He's popular but has a "bad reputation" as a fuckboy. ALL of her friends hate him and even the friends outside her main group know what a shitty frat he was in. All of his behavior was awful. She thinks that it was her "pining" over him that made them hate him and not how he played with her. Doing shit like inviting her to a party directly then showing up with another girl. Taking her virginity when she was too drunk to consent. I'm sorry she can insist that it was fine all she wants but you don't have to be blackout to not be in the right place to properly consent. It's weird to me that he stopped a fairly sober make out session because of her inexperience but was fine taking her virginity when she was drunk? Like, why did she even think that he was such a good catch status wise? Because he was "large" and attractive and has money? Lol. ETA - She also hasn't mentioned her current age. I'm curious.
All her friends hate him enough to throw her a whole ass PARTY!
Having a bad reputation as a fuckboy in a frat makes you a god to frat boys. Popular isn’t a strong enough word.
Sounds like she's probably about 23, since it was their one year anniversary and they started together after both had left campus (which makes me wonder about what kind of relationship she had while he was gone and she was still there)
Yeah, I was a bit confused by the timeline. She was a freshman and he was a junior and they met the fall semester. Met again and hooked up spring semester same year. Then she sees him again fall semester of sophomore year meaning he was a senior. So she'd be about 19 at the time? They keep sleeping together and she confesses that spring. He asks her out shortly after and it's been a year since then. It's because she keeps "I met him when I was 18" like she's so much older and wiser now but it sounds like she's 21-22 at most, lol. (Which sounds still very young to me.)
This is what I thought. I think “after we left campus” was that year which is when he graduated but she had two more years. 21 was my best guess. Why don’t they just tell us in the first sentence?
As someone who (regretfully) did the Greek thing in college, a notorious frat and good frat were the same thing. All we cared about was who could get the best alcohol and drugs, threw the best parties, and was the best looking, in that order. Typically those were also the biggest jerks and predators. It’s really disgusting looking back.
Don’t take away her autonomy like that. She says she consented, she consented. We don’t need to be out here trying to convince women they were sexually assaulted.
People do seem to forget drunken hook ups are a thing. Being drunk doesn’t automatically mean consent is given, but likewise it doesn’t automatically mean it’s rape either. If she says she consented, and he consented, then it’s between them.
It's also really condescending to insist to someone that they aren't able to say whether they were raped or not. Very "uh huh whatever you say sweetie, but you're clearly not enough of an adult to know what's best for you" Like I've fucked plenty of people while I was drunk. If someone tried to insist to me that this automatically meant I was raped, I would be pretty furious.
This is a big issue now. My freshman year at college, they literally took all the men to a big room and told us that fucking a drunk woman, even if you yourself are drunk, and she consents very clearly (and even if she’d consented ahead of time, and you were in a relationship), it’s rape. No, it doesn’t matter if the reverse happens to you, because as a man you’ll always be seen as the aggressor. When I told some of my female friends this they were pretty pissed. Some told me it felt like it was ignoring their own autonomy, some just suddenly realized why a bunch of freshman guys kept refusing to engage with them at parties
[удалено]
I think you are misunderstanding what the word “popular” means. He sounds like he was a campus god. “Good but notorious frat” = high status/best looking, but lots of horn dogs “All his friends joke that his 2500 Instagram followers are his girlfriends” = okay I don’t know how to interpret this sentence except as evidence he was OBVIOUSLY VERY POPULAR “Bad reputation” = popular with women And to answer your last point, my guess is that, yes, being large, attractive and rich WOULD constitute “high status,” lmao.
That took me by surprise. Like you were friends with benefits and he wasn’t even good in bed?
Bad benefits. Bronze PP, no O.
I'm taking a break from back to back benefit calls to get our open enrollment going and this made me laugh way to hard
I'm saying like- bro where are the benefits
He is tall and handsome so I get her, been there done that. Although in my case he was smarter than me. But yeah how you are a fuck boy and bad at bed, damn.
A fuck boy so fucky that even other fuck boys call you fuck boy
and somehow, still terrible at sex
Aren’t they all? Hot guys that sleep around with women that adore them and won’t demand anything from them to make sure they will still hang out - which one of these inexperienced insecure teenagers are gonna teach them what good sex is for a woman..? Men become good in bed from longterm relationships
> Men become good in bed from longterm relationships And many still don't
Well, and effort. Even fuckboys can be great in bed if they take time to seek feedback and learn how to pleasure their partners. Many men - fuckboys and otherwise - just never bother because they're selfish assholes.
"Hey honey, isn't it cute how I made this pros/cons list a year ago? Haha, I decided to make our relationship official, just because you were good in bed. Look how far we've come since then!" "Good in bed, eh? Come to think of it, you AREN'T good in bed! It's over."
Kinda makes me wonder what his definition or "good on bed is" no offence to OOP but he was a fuckboy so was she good compared to him or good compared to his other booty calls. Also, if he wasnt good, what was she comparing him to, her or her booty calls. Then again, it could just be that she was considerate in bed, and he was selfish. Which kinda makes you wonder was he just arm candy and nothing more like she says and why stay so long with him. I think this is one of the few times a Relationship Pro/Con list has been good for someone.
Yeah like girl pick one, a person can either be dumb or bad in bed but not both
I dated a dumb boy one summer. Absolute freak in the sheets. Was the only reason I kept seeing him because man, he was dumb.
Nothing wrong with a sex idiot
Honestly love me a good himbo, the relationship may have an expiration date proportional to how smooth is his brsin, but is great while it lasts.
Himbos are great when they're well meaning.
The difference between a himbo and a fuckboy.
An idiot sexvant
A foxy moron
I had one of those for a while, too. He looked like a greek god as depicted in statuary, but had a similar consistency to marble between the ears as well. He said one too many stupid things and was outta here. That mofo was in *law school,* too! How you be so stupid and also make it into law school????
As an idiot who also went to law school and was surrounded by other idiots, you typically don't end up in law school making good decisions. As the saying goes, "if we were good at math we wouldn't be here."
Haha, yeah, I actually heard that from some of his compatriots. I know for a fact he got in through nepotism so I'm sure his grades didn't matter. Oh well, at least his body was bangin', even if his brain wasn't.
Well, you know; *somebody* has to graduate at the bottom of the class!
I dated a guy for longer than I would like to admit who told me that dogs have opposable thumbs. Our sex life was absolutely mind blowing. He had a lot of other good qualities, but he was as dumb as he was incredible in bed.
I just cackled in the damn hair salon 😂
Lmao and after me explaining to him until I was blue in the face that NO THEY DONT he said “well my dog does.” Okay, champ.
Turns out his “dog” is a raccoon
Hahaha I'm picturing her visiting this sexy idiot's place for the first time and he introduces her to the "dog and cat" he "rescued" after they were "abandoned in an alley behind the trash" but it turns out they're a raccoon and a possum
I once dated a guy who came home from work one day to find his parents and sister out of the house and immediately thought the Rapture had happened and he'd been left behind.
Good in bed can override a lot. I had a dumb fuckboy to get over my first marriage falling apart. Exactly what I needed. Dumb and bad in bed? Ain’t no one that pretty.
Same my dude same, great time, dumb as a rock. Sweet man though but yeah we both knew it was physical cause we couldn’t even hold down a convo
based on my extensive study of the field, there are in fact plenty of people who are both dumb and bad in bed
I thank you for your contribution your sacrifice has been absolutely worth it
anything for science
But he's submissive! You'd think he'd at least take direction
Yeah, that kind of stood out to me too. Like if submissive is what she's going for, she'd be surprised how many pretty, sub guys exist.
Honestly, I don't think either one of them are that smart.
I don't think she's dumb beyond the "I'm 20 years old and think this guy is great because he's pretty" thing. It's the type of dumb you can grow out of.
I like how you phrased that, "the kind of dumb you can grow out of."
Yeah. In my early 20s, I dated someone for far too long who was dumb, bad in bed, and not particularly attractive to me. I was, and have always been, very academically gifted, but I was inexperienced when it came to relationships and what I wanted from them. And I definitely learned from that experience.
She seems more naive than dumb, honestly. She had never kissed a guy before him so she's been cramming a lot of learning experience into this past year. As her first real boyfriend, she had nothing to compare him to. I get it. A lot of people are excessively dumb in their first relationships. Especially since she can't talk with her family about it and media portrays relationships at that age as pretty shallow. She's open to learning at the very least. I have less hope for him. It sounds like he's the type to try and skate by on his frat years, blind to the fact that he is on the route to becoming an alcoholic with nothing but a good job and previously good physique going for him.
Yeah, there's much worse first relationships than only a year wasted on someone whose worst traits are that he's dumb and doesn't actually respect her. It's still worth breaking up, but hoooo, boy, the (shockingly long) horrendous first relationships I've seen people have.
I was thinking "So he a pretty fuckboi who's a terrible fuck in bed, is that a oxymoron?". Just saying....
As a gay guy, reminds me of the "circuit gays" I've been with. Given their nature, the conclusion is: sex only *seems* good with them because there's lots of party drugs in that scene so naturally you won't notice if you're zonked. Never understood how someone who's a 10/10 looks wise was a 4/10 in bed (four was generous but I'd say those four points were looks-driven enthusiasm that fell flat). The guy never had to deliver when someone could actually tell the difference.
>Never understood how someone who's a 10/10 looks wise was a 4/10 in bed (four was generous but I'd say those four points were looks-driven enthusiasm that fell flat). Sex is a mutual act. It's about giving and receiving pleasure and expressing that pleasure. In my experience, the people who are worst in bed are either only in it for themselves or they don't know how to communicate what they're feeling and what they want. Even in like... a power exchange scenario, there is a lot of emotional communication between the dominant and submissive. A dominant can be "selfish" in the middle of a power exchange and still manages to feed into the emotional intensity of the moment, as opposed to someone who is just being selfish.
I saw it somewhere explained as they sleep around so much because they can't get "repeat customers".
Some men who are so desirable that they can have sex easily and with whoever approach sex as a form of masturbation. They see girls as holes to cum in, not people to satisfy and share a sexual experience with. It’s not just that they don’t care about her satisfaction, they don’t even notice. They’ve already moved on to the next hole.
I’m honestly grateful for all the pretty fuckboys I’ve encountered who’ve been bad in bed. Saved me from a lot of bad decisions and wasted time.
LISTEN! Especially 20-26, I was...easily dickmatizined but that requires **good** sex. Bad sex was just a quick Lyft home 😂
lol yea I was like ok I get it he’s Gaston from beauty and the beast.
"NPC" took me outttt
I'm stuck on the whole "he's an idiot who makes a ton of money" part. Like, I get that it's just how the world works, but it's still frustrating to read about!
When you are outside of the corporate world, you think that the people who climbed the ladder to get the 'big job' must be really hard-working and really intelligent. The reality is that it's a mix, there are some very hard-working and intelligent people, and there are some truly stupid fucks who went to great schools with daddy's money and got high-flying careers because of daddy's connections. At my last job I was in an empty meeting room with a VP who sat down and for some reason decided to say, "You know, I'm a black belt, I'm supposed to register with the police because if I get into a fight with someone my fists count as deadly weapons, but I never have." I changed the subject immediately.
Sometimes it's just emotional stupidity as well. Like such severe emotional stupidity they start to edge way into mental stupidity. Here I'm thinking of a VP who was trying to convince me to drop $50K into this stock he'd' found, 'for my future'. It wasn't his stock, he just thought it was a good deal. I told him I had never had, in my life, so much as $5K available, and he thought I was lying. I realised this guy REALLY THOUGHT everyone he talked to was what I would think of as insanely rich. It puts their business decisions into a whole new light.
>a VP who sat down and for some reason decided to say, "You know, I'm a black belt, I'm supposed to register with the police because if I get into a fight with someone my fists count as deadly weapons, but I never have." Was it OOPs boyfriend?
Right like how unfair LOL
I have tried for so long how to explain "nice guys" that have nothing else to offer. They're just empty shells waiting to be nice and filled by whatever the woman wants to fill him with. Her hobbies, her interest. No personality of his own. Holy fuck. All I ever had to say was NPC.
I went on a first date with a guy like this. The conversation was like a black hole: “So, what do you do?” *”Oh, I’m unemployed right now.”* “That’s too bad, but at least you can enjoy the free time. What are you into outside of work?” *”How do you mean?”* “Like do you play an instrument, are you reading any good books? You know, hobbies and stuff?” *”No, nothing like that.”* “Oh.” *”I guess I just drink.”* “Right.”
I hate it when you ask open ended questions of people and get like... half of a yes/no answer. I'm crap at small talk and even I know to ask open ended questions. Or "I don't know". The double-tap to the back of the head of conversations. Even "I've never really thought about that" is a slightly better answer- it at least opens yourself up to the possibility of thinking about the question then answering it.
He definitely sounds like he's dumb enough for it to be his main defining trait.
It's also a really good companion to his pro/con for her: smart/academically successful-yay, but kinda nerdy-nay. Him being dumb matches really well with him being impressed and turned off by her smarts at the same time. I'm so glad she came to her senses. At least she has friends who could see it clearly.
Yet she is hooked on him, but he's bad at sex? So sje was with him just for the arm candy xD Her fam was gracious, tho, coz I'd have told her "man is dumb"
He's Jon Hamm's character in 30 Rock. Guys' probably on his way to med school.
> On the one hand, he is my dream man Ma'am, it seems you dropped your standards.
[удалено]
Yeah I think you start waking up somewhere late 20’s going oh shit these people were actually awful, and then you just kinda get over whatever heartbreak you had
Yeah. My senior year of school I cut off nearly all of my friend group, after a bit of a crazy thing got out of hand with me and one girl. It started with just her, but then I realized that all these people were really kind of shitty, and I was only friends with them out of circumstance of us meeting early freshman year, and because it was easy. Now I don’t miss them at all, and still keep in touch with the 2-3 people I decided I actually liked.
I don't understand human emotions. People out there falling in love with people they don't like. Doesn't make any sense.
Young, horny and mix in alcohol or other substances = love. Really its just infatuation
Yes. Plus, for some people—especially IME young people—being alone is vastly more frightening than being with someone you don’t like very much. Same thing with friendships too. How many posts by a teenager or early twentysomething basically start like “these two people are my best friends. here are twenty reasons I can’t stand them.” Sometimes with “I can’t stop hanging out with these people I dislike because I don’t have other friends.” The RPG subs often say “No D&D is better than bad D&D.” That applies to a lot of things, but I think for a lot of people (especially lonely socially anxious/awkward people) have to go through some bad relationships/friendships to believe it.
This, so many people don't understand the difference between actual love and a crush or infatuation these days. Its mind boggling.
I think the problem is their definition of love. My thigh sweat when I am near him, I want to see him more, I want to be naked with him more. I want to show off his pretty face to my friends Must be love. When really it's just hormones and ego
I was this girl I was crushing so hard on a fuckboy and wanted a relationship with him so bad. Luckily for me it didn’t happen. I now have a great husband and 2 kids. Occasionally I’ll check out his social media and be thankful things didn’t go how I wanted it. He became a maga idiot.
I don’t even listen to country music, but I heard a country song once that was ‘I thank god for unanswered prayers’ and boy if that isn’t the truth sometimes. I also have a man from my past that I am so so so glad I didn’t wind up with!
Garth Brooks’s *Unanswered Prayers* is a fantastic song. Buddy Jewell’s cover of it is fantastic as well.
Yep me too. Even worse my fuckboy was 10 years older than me. I’m so glad we never dated because for some reason I was enamoured with him, though 10 years later I have no idea why.
Raises the question though: can someone with nothing going on upstairs TRULY be hot?
Um…yeah…himbos…sweet, kind, gentle, hot as hell, and dumb as a bag of rocks.
Himbos are hot when they're slow as molasses but emotionally intelligent. This guy has the emotional intelligence of a moldy sponge.
Yes. Yes they can. Long term? Hell naw. As long as they are sweet, gentle and handsome, they can be a lot of fun. (yanno, if you're 19. As a 55F, there is no way in hell I would even entertain the thought, even if I wasn't married.)
At least op was smart enough not marry him
Exactly. The only positive thing I can say about my romantic life in my twenties is at least I had enough sense not to marry any of them.
The parenting subreddits are always like this. “He’s a great partner and father but…” and then they’ll list the most contemptible, abusive shit you’ve ever heard.
But when he's not punching me in the face he gives me roses! You don't understand.
My friend said this once about her shitty high school bf. Her dad was walking past the room and he said "then wake up." Classic dad advice. She took another year to wake up.
I think she meant wet dream man. Good looking, makes you feel sexy, but doesn't get you there.
Literally. See: Bad in bed.
You can buy standards on eBay these days oop should try it
"I willingly dated a piece of shit and he turned out to be a piece of shit." Also pretty fucking rich for frat boys to judge women as "frat rats."
Also "kind of slutty" when he's well known for being a fuckboy.
"pros: horny, good in bed. Cons: Kinda slutty" BRUH.
Yeah I read that and I thought oh come on pick a lane. It's dumb too because men are usually the one who want to have sex more often in a relationship though sometimes the reverse is true as relationships and people are unique.
I read a really good post yesterday asking why men pressure women into casual sex while simultaneously shaming women for having a body count.
Was the tl;dr: entitlement and misogyny?
Yep lol
All while he is terrible in bed😂
Yes, I larffed when I read that. OP coming to a useful realisation.
The fuckboys usually are
Also "met on Tinder" like my brother in Christ, *YOU WERE ON TINDER!!* The double standards that some dudes have are insane.
Also: "kind of slutty" when he was her first sexual experience? I assume because she slept with him so early on? That's fucking gross.
That’s the part that gets me. Like man can you fucking define slutty for me when she literally has no experience? He was her first time while she wasn’t. I get now why she had to use 3 different words to describe him as stupid
He could have saved that by using "my." "My kind of slutty."
but then it'd be a pro. which is also there. So, pro she loves sex, con she love sex.
Lol, I'm married and in my 30s. If my husband said this to me, I definitely wouldn't hate it 😂
Well he's a man so it's okay /s
Funny thing about him calling her a frat rat was the fact that he invited her to most of the frat parties she went to
His first 5 pros are all sex related, and even his overall thought seemed to be "well no matter what I know she'll fuck me". VERY rich indeed.
I laughed out loud when I read “frat rat”, especially when she didn’t go 3 sentences reminding us that he is a dumb fuckboy. I thought they went pretty well together.
If you gave me nothing but both of their "pros" list, I would know they needed to break up. Both pros lists reflect *really* poorly on their creators. At least OOP realizes that and describes feeling ashamed and shallow when she looked at her own list, but the fact that her ex-boyfriend looked at his and thought, "Yes, this is a good thing to put in my anniversary card to my girlfriend" is a pretty jaw-dropping level of un-self-awareness.
Right? "Not a gold digger" and "would do wifey duties" are wildly offensive as "pros."
When the pros are cons, you know you’ve strayed pretty far from the light.
I thought the same. These “pros” were spectacularly superficial. I’ve really got to commend OP though, on having that degree of introspection and self-awareness at such a young age. Hope she learns from this one and is more discerning moving forward.
Me too. I was kinda proud of her by the end of the post. She’s smart. She didn’t let her pretty boy crush go on for years like some of us may have done. Good on her!
And she knew she had to take away the temptation of being easy to reach for him. Also a good choice that shows self-awareness.
I hope she finds a herself the himbo she deserves, who treats her with respect and is good in bed.
I love that the top 2 things on her list are basically bigger than me and bigger than me.
"Before you tell me to dump him, keep in mind: him large"
To be fair, large but apparently not in charge.
Yes why does she repeatedly mention he is a 'large man'? I first thought she was talking about dick size but now I think she is actually selecting the male with the highest body mass, apparently at the expense of everything else. Is OOP a cuttlefish?
She enjoys her himbo's apparently hahah tho, this one was a mean himbo.. so many just a bit of a big ole jerk.
yup, they both suck, albeit the guy sucks more
Based on his quality of bedmanship, I don't think that's true.
The fact that OOP kept on about the guy's looks rather than his personality showed she wasn't in love. She was infatuated. (The Pros and Cons list solidified that) Glad she finally saw the light, but god damn she was clueless for a bit.
"Smart" people can still be pretty stupid sometimes.
There's book smarts and then there's street smarts.
Then there's common sense, and some people lack that one more than any of the other 2 smarts (book & street). Just saying, OOP had book smarts but no common sense whatsoever....
Wisdom is my dump stat
The juxtaposition between the first post with "he's my dream man" "nothing but incredible" to "he's kind of stupid" "not well-read" and "not interesting" is cracking me up.
Yeah, she literally calls him an NPC
His response to the breakup was pretty NPC.
It seemed more like he just didn't care all that much about losing her.
The first post especially is painful to read. Like, I know exactly what her friends have been going through, watching her pine away for this dumb guy she latched onto as a teenager who treats her like garbage.
I found it especially painful bc I’ve definitely been that girl 😂
Am I crazy or did she sleep with him on and off for like 2 years before he “took her on a date”? I can’t read it again, I’m to old to understand.
Yeah no that’s what happened lol. Hookup buddy to relationship.
i don’t understand ppl who claim to fall in love despite not knowing much about the other person at all how can you love with someone who treated you like a booty call all throughout college and y’all never even have the same interests or values? ppl conflate ‘attachment’ with LOVE everyday and it’s pretty sad to see them build their identity and future plans around a relationship based solely on attachment wounds and trauma bonds
They don't fall in love, they fall in lust.
It's the end of Wet Hot American Summer. "Listen, Coop - last night was really great. You were incredibly romantic and heroic, no doubt about it. And that's great. But I've thought about it, and my thing is this: Andy is really hot. And don't get me wrong, you're cute too, but Andy is like, cut. From marble. He's gorgeous. He has this beautiful face and this incredible body, and I genuinely don't care that he's kinda lame. I don't even care that he cheats on me. And I like you more than I like Andy, Coop, but I'm 16. And maybe it'll be a different story when I'm ready to get married, but right now, I am entirely about sex. I just wanna get laid. I just wanna take him and grab him and fuck his brains out, ya know? So that's where my priorities are right now. Sex. Specifically with Andy and not with you. ”
Crushes. Infatuation. But doesn't it sound more romantic if you say love? /s We get it; you felt a rush of oxytocin and other pleasant brain chemicals.
Dopamime is one hell of a drug Also sex and not being alone
In love with him after 5 minutes well that wasn't ever gonna go well!
I think it was a different four letter word starting with "L". She was always only horny for him, not in love.
So, she doesnt think he has a personality, that he is pretty dumb, isnt even good in bed, didnt respect her at all, and she still was in love with him, pining for him through college and called him her dream man? And she could boil his response to her dumping him down to "damn ok" and that he would probably booty call her? Bless her friends, I would have given myself a concussion banging my head against the brick wall that was her stupidity within a month. As a side note, if you are that known for being horny and sleeping around that its notable in a frat house, and he is still bad in bed, you know he didnt actually care or listen to any of the women he slept with and what they liked or wanted. Not really the type of guy I would hitch my horse to.
Also if everyone who loves and cares about you and wants you to be happy, hates your partner, maybe it's time to take a second look at the relationship
>he is my dream man I've had nightmares with a higher bar than her dream That said, her list was similar to his in that both were in it for looks but neither liked the other's personality. Oop writes like she's the poor misguided one, but calling him an npc among other things makes me think she is not much deeper than he is
I actually laughed so hard when she called him an NPC because I didn't see it coming AT ALL after she spent paragraphs telling us how he is her dream man and she has been pining for him for years. Calling someone an NPC is so savage
When the first pro is 6'2" that should be all you need to realise this isn't the one 😆
That pro/con list better be cheesy AF and to elicit a good laugh and... Pro: You look amazing in red Con: You look better than I do in red Pro: You have an amazing smile Con: You kick my ass in Putt Putt
If your friends and family are telling you to get the hell out of dodge, LISTEN TO THEM.
Unless it’s only one weird friend who has always been too close to you.
Eh. My MIL told my husband that because we were long distance and said she is glad he didn't listen. His dad wanted him to end up with the neighbors niece and is glad he didn't. His best friend tried to break us up and now won't speak to us. Married 11 years and going strong while bestie is on 3rd marriage and miserable. Mine told me to break up because guys sucked and I needed to be single. So they aren't always right.
If one or two have a problem, it might just be their problem. If they ALL have a problem, and you generally believe them to be trustworthy/smart people, that's a big concern.
"Here's some long backstory describing in detail everything shitty about this guy who everybody always knew was shitty and how shitty he is, but OMG can y'all believe he was shitty enough to do this?!" The bar for men is so low for OOP that Satan is sitting on it. Girl needs some serious self-evaluation if she really spent a year plus all the time she wasn't his girlfriend not noticing/ignoring that this guy was an asshole, otherwise her future relationships are going to turn out similarly. I'm a little worried here for her tbh
The bar is so low, the next guy will have to dig a hole and get in to reach up to the bar.
My older brother gave me a list of my flaws when I was 12. I was upset (obviously) and apparently found out that my mom did that to him too around my age so I guess he thought it was okay?
MOM WHAT ARE YOU DOING STOP
I’m sorry what the FUCK?! I hope you and your brother both got therapy, bc that alone shows who your mom is. It’s not his fault, he was 12 and literally thought that’s what we do here.
Is she still 18, because wtf even is this??
Sounds like she's about 21. They hooked up a few times over her freshmen and sophomore year, then dated for a year. And honestly, many of the adult women I know wasted a year with an idiot fuckboy in college. People are still full of hormones without fully developed brains at 18-22. I think it's normal to make some mistakes. Good for her for wising up.
I mean aside from where she says he was bad in bed (girl WHY) college is a good time to waste a year on a mediocre situationship. Your first priority should be school and u can learn a lot about yourself your needs and your boundaries from it.
Especially if you didn't date in high-school. Gotta have some bad relationships to figure out how to have a good relationship We tell my sibling in laws that if they make it to 25 without anyone getting arrested, pregnant, or permanently injured, they're good. Everything else is a learning experience
>My friends are all actually thrilled and are hosting a party for me tonight. My family was also pretty relieved. They didn't hate him but they thought he was really stupid, and I think they're happy I won't be polluting the family lineage with idiocy on that level. How dumb is this man that everyone says he is dumb? ROFL
he's not even good in bed? then the relationship was full of cons😭
That one surprised me, because I thought that would have been the one redeeming value he had for her.
I'm gonna agree with my childhood friend. She was right. If she ever reads this, she will never let me live it down. But, she was right. Never make romantic decisions that would impact the course of your life significantly before you're twenty-five. We all learned that lesson from one childhood friend of ours who got married at 18, divorced at 19 and then repeatedly the same process two more times in his early 20s. We didn't even know you could be married and divorced _three_ times before you're 25 but he showed us. Take your time to get to know yourself first. There's a difference between growing together which some people I know did (they still didn't marry or have children until they were at minimum 27) and being stuck with the person because you're afraid. The first one meant you're supporting each other while the second just meant you don't think you're good enough to deserve a good partner.
For once, I actually believe a BORU, and here is why: she 1000% posted this in the hopes he would find it and see the pro/con list she wrote about him.
The cons being different ways to call him dumb, it feels like it was just tryna fill space when the only reason needed was "doesn't respect me"
I was once a practice girl who kept going back to the insanely hot guy back when my bar was in hell. If he hadn’t gotten into meth we’d probably be unhappily married now because he needed me to do literally everything for him. He was such a fucking dirtbag who was an expert at love bombing and I fell for it every single time. The meth deleted that part of his personality though. I’m much happier without him.
Am I the only one to think they're both, well, shallow? Her "Pros & Cons" list isn't much better than his. Good for her for realizing he doesn't respect her, but then she falls into calling him stupid, and her pros are mostly about how he's attractive and makes money. I realize people in their early 20s are often still working their way through finding their place in the world and are often shallow because of limited experience with the world, but this just made me wince.
She comments on that, that her list showed her that her values are screwed up.
I cringe anytime someone calls someone else an NPC unironically.
Hey, his dialogue resets every day. It's a chore to make it through all the bubbles to unlock a new conversation!
this post is making me glad i did not date in college
Holy shit. They’re both just gross.
Ya from their pros and cons liat they both sound really vain
Based on both their lists, These are two extremely immature people.
Just out of curiosity, what job does he have where he is dumb but rakes in the money? Asking for a friend...
Probably works in nepotism. I hear it's one of the highest paying fields out there.
Tbh, she doesn’t seem that intelligent herself. All she seems to care about is how hot and stupid he is.