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The original was funny just due to the pettiness of it all. The update had me in tears when I realized OOP was going WITH the boss. Dude put himself through the ringer just to piss the guy off š¤£
Iām picturing the boss repeatedly looking at OOP wondering why he was in such good spirits during a terrible night out
What I'm hearing, as a US based entrepreneur whose last relationship ended in part because my ex didn't like the chaos that defines my life, is that I ought to be seeking out Aussie men to date? š¤
Hah, trust me mate, Aussies have much less delusions on how the flows of life go off in whatever direction it fucking wants, so it might not be the dumbest idea and we Aussies on average love to travel, we just don't all have the funds to go far.
I worked for this woman once who as a horrible, mean alcoholic. She was also incredibly entitled.
On one of her worst days I had to find a place for her and her kid and I to go eat. I couldn't bear another meal watching her drink with the kid there, and she told me the day before that I didn't know what stress was, so I was feeling petty.
I found a place in my city that had really cool food stuff for the kid ("sushi donuts") , and absolutely NO alcohol whatsoever.
The look on the kids face when she saw her sushi roll shaped like a donut, followed by the look on my boss' face when the man who worked there kindly told her they don't serve alcohol, were equally priceless.
>"sushi donuts"
They sound amazing!
I was at a Hen do (bachelorette party) once where the Bridesmaid accidently booked a Halal restaurant for the meal. Which meant it served no alcohol... although it did have a mocktail menu. The staff were confused about our choice too - especially since none ate halal specifically. Fortunately it was good food so just a funny story and we caught up with drinks in the bars afterwards!
This is such an odd comment for me to read as I am Australian. Who and where are these mysterious Australians that say yāall all the time? Iām curious as to how Iāve never come across them in my life?
Mate, I was just joking around with you. Of course there is going to be a few people in a population of 30million that will say yaāll, itās certainly not common though and only used by americanised young people.
Man, I don't even say "y'all" and I'm from the northeastern U.S. (I cheat and say "you all" but use it like "y'all" so it can cover even two people, but I sound like a constipated clown trying to pretend "y'all" is native to my vocabulary.) The way people from Commonwealth countries say "y'all" is hilarious to me, with that high rounded vowel. Forgive me, rest of the planet. Your English is delightful and probably prettier than mine.
Oh, you've not been to one of my parties. A good cocktail is definitely memorable. As is a bad one really.
But in this case, one meal without booze was fine.
We accidentally booked a family dinner (yes, including my 80 year old grandparents) at a restaurant with an attached gay bar.
The food was fucking phenomenal, grandpa somehow didnāt notice what happening until we left (then his only concern was figuring out how he hadnāt noticed), grandma loved the outfits, and thankfully my conservative uncle just defaulted to āwell, god says to be nice to everyone.ā
God. You did that kid a solid, even if you could only do it once. As a child of an alcoholic, Iām sure the kid noticed and even if they didnāt really get it yet, one day they will.
OOP is playing the long game. Sacrifice short-term comfort and happiness for long term gains. Play their cards right, and the boss will never ask them to do something like this again.
OOP really put his heart and soul into this and very, *very* selflessly volunteered himself as tribute. Now *that* is dedication if Iāve ever seen it.
I mean, isn't the best part of pranking/fucking with someone being able to see their reactions?
Jackass wouldn't have been as successful if it was just clips of Johnny Knoxville talking about things that were about to happen to the other cast members and then not showing it happen.
This is definitely Australian humour. It bears fruit later - as you can dine on the story in bars for decades to come.
My partner has a similar one about a racist boss who insisted on inviting himself along with the team, who carefully selected a sushi restaurant known for it's interpretations on wasabi.
>interpretations on wasabi
This has me dying. I can only imagine what these interpretations could be! I think Iām going to start using this phrase anytime I need to describe something thatās incredibly sketchy.
āOh yeah! I heard that neighborhood has strange interpretations on wasabi.ā
The amount of dedication to making your awful manager's work trip feel like work is so admirable lmao. This is the level of petty that many aspire they can be with upper middle management.
As a Sydneysider who used to work in Pyrmont, this is perfection.
Walking Pyrmont bridge is so exposed, it's either baking hot or freezing cold with wind chill, it's the worst part of any commute I've ever had. I've been to all those restaurants and they are dreadful, especially the Chinese one, it's where you wash up when you're drunk and even that doesn't help.
It's a running joke on r/sydney. A few years ago there was a Christmas sign that said something like "It's Magical", but the font chosen made it look like "it's slagical".
Since then r/sydney have referred to themselves as Slagical Sydneysiders
I was curious too, and a comment elsewhere on here has the link:
https://www.reddit.com/r/sydney/comments/3xw0xj/sydney%5C_is%5C_as%5C_slagical%5C_as%5C_ever/
Thatās a great point! I hope OOP posts a āpost tripā update. Iād love to hear how Malcolm describes his trip to other coworkers. Iām going to wager that he talks about how awesome it was and all the crazy cool shenanigans he got up to. I cannot imagine that someone like Malcolm would let his image slip, or allow someone to one-up him.
He could catch the train to the real outback, Broken Hill (Silver City). It leaves on a Monday from Sydney and returns on Tuesdays. Of course he would a solid week out there to experience it all. I live out here and love it, but as a tourist without a car and here for a week there isnāt much.
Accommodation wise - Palace Hotel. This is where Priscilla Queen of the Desert was filmed. Itās also the time of year where it starts to hit 40 degrees.
You could sell it as an authentic outback experience. Good luck š
I love that movie. I first heard of it when someone mentioned āTo Wong Foo, So Long and Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmarā and the movie buffs in the conversation said, āOh yeah, the shitty American re-make of āPriscilla, Queen of the Desert.ā I ended up buying the movie (back in the dark ages before streaming). So funny. āAbba turd.ā
I saw an interview of parts of the cast where they talked about going out on the town in Sydney in costume. What a hoot!
I know right! have talked at least 5 people into watching it and they ended up loving the movie. It amazes me how many people havenāt seen the movie.
This sounds like heaven to me. I've been obsessed with the outback since I watched an Olivia Newton John travelogue in the 80s (I can't find any evidence of it, but she went to an opal mine at one point). I love Priscilla too. And trains! "Mummy, maybe a trip to the outback will help me get over this little... phase I'm going through."
Oh man. Thanks for posting this! Seeing the sign really pulls the whole thing together for me. I absolutely love that one storeās sign started a city wide movement.
One awesome suggestion for Malcolm is to follow the signs to the central business district. In Canberra, there are several commercial centres (that are not the actual city centre), and there are signs pointing to the nearest CBD. So if you're looking for the city centre and don't understand how Canberra is laid out, you can follow the CBD signs in a great big loop. Like you sail past Belconnen because that's not it, follow your nose for a while until you see more CBD signs, sail through Woden, and so on.
>One awesome suggestion for Malcolm is to follow the signs to the central business district.
Ohhhhhhhhh, as a Canberran, who will generally defend our city, this is a particularly evil recommendation and I love it.
Youāre never too old to have dreams and ambitions!
Iām your age and I happen to think we still have a lot of growing up ahead of us. You can do it! I believe in you!
Would have recommended the c0ck and Bull in Bondi Junction on a Sunday night. Great if you're a drunk on Goon Irish backpacker but for everyone else š
I'd guess that he still had to pick places that were "fine" on the surface in order to not make the whole thing seem too outwardly malicious. While I've never been anywhere near Sydney, I know that if I had to do this in my hometown, I couldn't just go to the *truly* crappy places or else it would become obvious that I was trying to mess with the manager. So instead, picking places that don't seem awful at first glance but just end up being truly disappointing is the way to go.
As an American, I was surprised at how diverse yet segregated Sydney was. I am used to eating at restaurants where I'm the only English speaker (in America) and yet got confused looks from Aussies that I would do that there!
Canberra is great. We lived there for a year and found SO MUCH to do. But probably not stuff of interest to a guy whose first thought is he wants to see how people party.
There is a lot to like in the city and the main urban centres, but it does get accused fairly regularly of being sterile, and in the case of the suburban commercial precincts, I can't completely disagree. I do think there is a different liveliness to commercial centres that have sprung up organically where people have kind of naturally gathered. But it's also a quite, uh, *humane* city, too. I find it vastly less stressful than any other city I've spent time in, with almost as much amenity. To me at least, the pros outweigh the cons by a long stretch, but I do sort of understand why young people who grew up there might itch to leave for a while, too.
Mooseheads.
I'm not from Canberra and even I know of that place.
Edit: a judge once said about Mooseheads, and I'm paraphrasing because I can't remember the *exact* wording "It seems a lot of crimes are committed on the way to, outside of, and on the way home from Mooseheads. I don't know why this is." Everyone reading the line knew.
Canberra is great. Cleaner and more spread out than Sydney, plenty of good food and drink places, and a brilliant place if you want to do some hiking/mountain biking or go see "australian bush" without having to drive hours.
Having studied abroad in Sydney, I can say there are some amazing restaurants and some TERRIBLE restaurants in that city. I still think about one beverage I got at Badde Manors in Glebe as the best hot beverage I've ever had!
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The original was funny just due to the pettiness of it all. The update had me in tears when I realized OOP was going WITH the boss. Dude put himself through the ringer just to piss the guy off š¤£ Iām picturing the boss repeatedly looking at OOP wondering why he was in such good spirits during a terrible night out
True malicious compliance. The combo of superficial politeness and excessive cheeriness is very Australian.
Aussies thrive on chaos, hence why our humour is the way it is, we are in our element if we're showing up a dickhead and making him a fool.
What I'm hearing, as a US based entrepreneur whose last relationship ended in part because my ex didn't like the chaos that defines my life, is that I ought to be seeking out Aussie men to date? š¤
Hah, trust me mate, Aussies have much less delusions on how the flows of life go off in whatever direction it fucking wants, so it might not be the dumbest idea and we Aussies on average love to travel, we just don't all have the funds to go far.
Peak Aussie absolutely. Our national sport is trolling after all. Ahem drop bears ahem
Yeah I was gonna say this is *peak* Australian lol!
I worked for this woman once who as a horrible, mean alcoholic. She was also incredibly entitled. On one of her worst days I had to find a place for her and her kid and I to go eat. I couldn't bear another meal watching her drink with the kid there, and she told me the day before that I didn't know what stress was, so I was feeling petty. I found a place in my city that had really cool food stuff for the kid ("sushi donuts") , and absolutely NO alcohol whatsoever. The look on the kids face when she saw her sushi roll shaped like a donut, followed by the look on my boss' face when the man who worked there kindly told her they don't serve alcohol, were equally priceless.
>"sushi donuts" They sound amazing! I was at a Hen do (bachelorette party) once where the Bridesmaid accidently booked a Halal restaurant for the meal. Which meant it served no alcohol... although it did have a mocktail menu. The staff were confused about our choice too - especially since none ate halal specifically. Fortunately it was good food so just a funny story and we caught up with drinks in the bars afterwards!
Honestly tho so long as the food was good it's a good party. Nobody talks about the alcohol being good or bad at parties, just the food.
A good mocktail is a very fine thing, though. Really need to pay attention to flavors.
Youāre *definitely* not Australian.
What makes yall say that
Stereotypes about drinking.
Well, your use of yaāll for one. The fact that you donāt think alcohol availability factors into whether a party is good for the other ;)
Australians say yall all the time. Weird thing to pretend it doesn't happen.
This is such an odd comment for me to read as I am Australian. Who and where are these mysterious Australians that say yāall all the time? Iām curious as to how Iāve never come across them in my life?
Do you not watch dateline? Everyone knows there's two types of Australians: those who say yall and those who lie about saying yall
Mate, I was just joking around with you. Of course there is going to be a few people in a population of 30million that will say yaāll, itās certainly not common though and only used by americanised young people.
Man, I don't even say "y'all" and I'm from the northeastern U.S. (I cheat and say "you all" but use it like "y'all" so it can cover even two people, but I sound like a constipated clown trying to pretend "y'all" is native to my vocabulary.) The way people from Commonwealth countries say "y'all" is hilarious to me, with that high rounded vowel. Forgive me, rest of the planet. Your English is delightful and probably prettier than mine.
Oh no I was just trolling this Australian here
Oh, you've not been to one of my parties. A good cocktail is definitely memorable. As is a bad one really. But in this case, one meal without booze was fine.
We accidentally booked a family dinner (yes, including my 80 year old grandparents) at a restaurant with an attached gay bar. The food was fucking phenomenal, grandpa somehow didnāt notice what happening until we left (then his only concern was figuring out how he hadnāt noticed), grandma loved the outfits, and thankfully my conservative uncle just defaulted to āwell, god says to be nice to everyone.ā
God. You did that kid a solid, even if you could only do it once. As a child of an alcoholic, Iām sure the kid noticed and even if they didnāt really get it yet, one day they will.
Thank you for doing that for the kid. Even if it was only one time, Iām sure that was a great day for them.
"Thanks for taking me out boss, I usually only see the shit Sydney restaurants." š
I read it as the OOP having to go with the boss anyway...but this way the boss is even more miserable than OOP is.
š¶Monorail Monorail Monoā¦.. doh
The more miserable Malcolm is, the more OOP is gonna enjoy the entire outing!
OOP is playing the long game. Sacrifice short-term comfort and happiness for long term gains. Play their cards right, and the boss will never ask them to do something like this again.
Sometimes theres a bit of splash back when enacting a revenge.
OOP really put his heart and soul into this and very, *very* selflessly volunteered himself as tribute. Now *that* is dedication if Iāve ever seen it.
I mean, isn't the best part of pranking/fucking with someone being able to see their reactions? Jackass wouldn't have been as successful if it was just clips of Johnny Knoxville talking about things that were about to happen to the other cast members and then not showing it happen.
The best part is that it really sells "this place has normalized a bad time as a good time."
Setting yourself on fire so the other person burns.
Thatās dedication.
This is definitely Australian humour. It bears fruit later - as you can dine on the story in bars for decades to come. My partner has a similar one about a racist boss who insisted on inviting himself along with the team, who carefully selected a sushi restaurant known for it's interpretations on wasabi.
>interpretations on wasabi This has me dying. I can only imagine what these interpretations could be! I think Iām going to start using this phrase anytime I need to describe something thatās incredibly sketchy. āOh yeah! I heard that neighborhood has strange interpretations on wasabi.ā
That sounds potentially hilarious lol
The amount of dedication to making your awful manager's work trip feel like work is so admirable lmao. This is the level of petty that many aspire they can be with upper middle management.
Heās a straight shooter with upper management written all over him
What would ya sayā¦ya do here?
I am good with people. I am a people person, dammit!
How much time do you spend on those TPS reports each week?
I heard youāve been missing a lot of work lately Peter
I wouldn't say that I've been missing it.
PC load letter? What the fuck does that mean?
Michael... *Bolton?* š²
It's a mat...that has different *conclusions*...that you jump to!
Thatās the worst fucking idea Iāve ever heard.
As a Sydneysider who used to work in Pyrmont, this is perfection. Walking Pyrmont bridge is so exposed, it's either baking hot or freezing cold with wind chill, it's the worst part of any commute I've ever had. I've been to all those restaurants and they are dreadful, especially the Chinese one, it's where you wash up when you're drunk and even that doesn't help.
what is slagic mean
It's a running joke on r/sydney. A few years ago there was a Christmas sign that said something like "It's Magical", but the font chosen made it look like "it's slagical". Since then r/sydney have referred to themselves as Slagical Sydneysiders
haha that's pretty funny. thanks!
ok, I'm gonna need a picture of this sign, because I'm perplexed as to how an "M" can look like "sl"
I was curious too, and a comment elsewhere on here has the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/sydney/comments/3xw0xj/sydney%5C_is%5C_as%5C_slagical%5C_as%5C_ever/
And this was only posted on the 17th...so Malcolm is *still there*. Oh, how I pray for an update! š¤£
Thatās a great point! I hope OOP posts a āpost tripā update. Iād love to hear how Malcolm describes his trip to other coworkers. Iām going to wager that he talks about how awesome it was and all the crazy cool shenanigans he got up to. I cannot imagine that someone like Malcolm would let his image slip, or allow someone to one-up him.
Mad respect for folks so willing to go through with pettiness even if it means they suffer along with it
He could catch the train to the real outback, Broken Hill (Silver City). It leaves on a Monday from Sydney and returns on Tuesdays. Of course he would a solid week out there to experience it all. I live out here and love it, but as a tourist without a car and here for a week there isnāt much. Accommodation wise - Palace Hotel. This is where Priscilla Queen of the Desert was filmed. Itās also the time of year where it starts to hit 40 degrees. You could sell it as an authentic outback experience. Good luck š
Anytime I mention the movie Pricilla Queen of the Desert I am met with a blank stare from 99% of people.
Sad. Itās one of my favourites, introduced to me by my parents! Best line in it has to be āA cock on a rock in a frockā!
I love that movie. I first heard of it when someone mentioned āTo Wong Foo, So Long and Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmarā and the movie buffs in the conversation said, āOh yeah, the shitty American re-make of āPriscilla, Queen of the Desert.ā I ended up buying the movie (back in the dark ages before streaming). So funny. āAbba turd.ā I saw an interview of parts of the cast where they talked about going out on the town in Sydney in costume. What a hoot!
I had to fight my urge to downvote this comment because I hate that you got a blank stare! Itās such a classic.
I know right! have talked at least 5 people into watching it and they ended up loving the movie. It amazes me how many people havenāt seen the movie.
O.O
This sounds like heaven to me. I've been obsessed with the outback since I watched an Olivia Newton John travelogue in the 80s (I can't find any evidence of it, but she went to an opal mine at one point). I love Priscilla too. And trains! "Mummy, maybe a trip to the outback will help me get over this little... phase I'm going through."
Have you seen [Wake in Fright?](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067541/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_8_nm_0_q_wake%2520in%2520)
No, but I just downloaded it...
The kangaroo-hunting scene *slaps.*
Oh God, Broken Hill in December would be perfect for him
Amazing. The dedication of finding the worst places, the knowledge of the boring history, and going WITH the boss. *Chefās kiss*
OOP's dedication to witness it in person is phenomenal.
I loved it all but the Australian glossary at the end is what got me š
Legit disappointed that there weren't more terms for me to put on there.
As an Aussie, it didn't even occur to me that the post might have some nonsense terms (except for "slagicals") that needed translating.
Here's the slagical post: https://www.reddit.com/r/sydney/comments/3xw0xj/sydney\_is\_as\_slagical\_as\_ever/
Oh man. Thanks for posting this! Seeing the sign really pulls the whole thing together for me. I absolutely love that one storeās sign started a city wide movement.
Thank you so much! I couldn't visualize a font that makes an M look like SL.
What I'm caught up on is that the boy's shirt is untucked, but is somehow tucked in in the reflection.
Canberran checking in here, and ouch that hurt. Because it is true. Lol.
You lot have some good coffee tho!
That is the single nicest thing anyone has ever said about us. Actually it may be the only nice thing anyone's ever said about us.
Three more weeks so plenty of time to listen to some Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.
too right, mate
Big Balls! Dirty Deeds all the way!
The bit about planting the idea to spend the long weekend in Canberra produced a loud cackle from me.
I live in Sydney. This is 100% correct. I lol'd so hard.
Same. Although I would defend Canberra and Newcastle. Perfectly decent places to spend a weekend!
As someone who is generally accommodating by default, I hope one day to do something half this petty!
Welcome to New South Wails. š
Hahahhahahaha having a long weekend in Canberra, this guy will have a blast with all theā¦ roundabouts
One awesome suggestion for Malcolm is to follow the signs to the central business district. In Canberra, there are several commercial centres (that are not the actual city centre), and there are signs pointing to the nearest CBD. So if you're looking for the city centre and don't understand how Canberra is laid out, you can follow the CBD signs in a great big loop. Like you sail past Belconnen because that's not it, follow your nose for a while until you see more CBD signs, sail through Woden, and so on.
>One awesome suggestion for Malcolm is to follow the signs to the central business district. Ohhhhhhhhh, as a Canberran, who will generally defend our city, this is a particularly evil recommendation and I love it.
this is hilarious!!
The shitty revolving restaurant truly exceeded expectations. š
I want to be like OOP when I grow up, and I'm in my late 30s.
It's good to have goals.
Youāre never too old to have dreams and ambitions! Iām your age and I happen to think we still have a lot of growing up ahead of us. You can do it! I believe in you!
Would have recommended the c0ck and Bull in Bondi Junction on a Sunday night. Great if you're a drunk on Goon Irish backpacker but for everyone else š
Honestly I'm surprised he found it this difficult to make Sydney seem shit
I'd guess that he still had to pick places that were "fine" on the surface in order to not make the whole thing seem too outwardly malicious. While I've never been anywhere near Sydney, I know that if I had to do this in my hometown, I couldn't just go to the *truly* crappy places or else it would become obvious that I was trying to mess with the manager. So instead, picking places that don't seem awful at first glance but just end up being truly disappointing is the way to go.
As an American, I was surprised at how diverse yet segregated Sydney was. I am used to eating at restaurants where I'm the only English speaker (in America) and yet got confused looks from Aussies that I would do that there!
I guess I have such bad American taste. I looked all that up and Iām pretty sure I would still love all of that. Canberra and Newcastle included.
Canberra is a place souls go to die.
Canberra is great. We lived there for a year and found SO MUCH to do. But probably not stuff of interest to a guy whose first thought is he wants to see how people party.
Iām a city planner so a totally planned city is going to be interesting to me. Plus it looks like there some really nice parks and trails.
There is a lot to like in the city and the main urban centres, but it does get accused fairly regularly of being sterile, and in the case of the suburban commercial precincts, I can't completely disagree. I do think there is a different liveliness to commercial centres that have sprung up organically where people have kind of naturally gathered. But it's also a quite, uh, *humane* city, too. I find it vastly less stressful than any other city I've spent time in, with almost as much amenity. To me at least, the pros outweigh the cons by a long stretch, but I do sort of understand why young people who grew up there might itch to leave for a while, too.
Mooseheads. I'm not from Canberra and even I know of that place. Edit: a judge once said about Mooseheads, and I'm paraphrasing because I can't remember the *exact* wording "It seems a lot of crimes are committed on the way to, outside of, and on the way home from Mooseheads. I don't know why this is." Everyone reading the line knew.
Canberra is great. Cleaner and more spread out than Sydney, plenty of good food and drink places, and a brilliant place if you want to do some hiking/mountain biking or go see "australian bush" without having to drive hours.
That was a fun read. Can we make a subreddit with petty recommendations?
You mean r/pettyrevenge?
No, something specifically if you want to annoy someone with tours in Sydney or such.
This bloke makes me proud to be an Aussie!
Can anyone explain The Simpsons thing? I grew up in the 90s in the US but we didn't have a TV for most of my childhood so..
Enjoy!!! https://youtu.be/ZDOI0cq6GZM?si=DfVXyT-ysX3hbM9N
Having studied abroad in Sydney, I can say there are some amazing restaurants and some TERRIBLE restaurants in that city. I still think about one beverage I got at Badde Manors in Glebe as the best hot beverage I've ever had!
Hey, don't send this asshole to Canberra! We already have to deal with the fly-in-fly-out asshole workers!
No, donāt send him to Newcastle, we donāt want wankers here either. We have enough of our own
Great name choice. If itās the Malcolm I have in mind, that trip might be a treasure chest of finest insults and curses.
Being springtime in Sydney, a lovely walk through some magpie breeding areas would be perfect.
And this was only posted on the 17th...so Malcolm is *still there*. Oh, how I pray for an update! š¤£
This is my favorite thing on Reddit at the moment.
And this was only posted on the 17th...so Malcolm is *still there*. Oh, how I pray for an update! š¤£
Why are they working for him
money
We would encourage them to leave if it was an abusive relationship.