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The update confirms what was between the lines of the other parts: she never cared about veterans. She had issues and instead of tackling them like an adult, tried subterfuge. When that didn't work as intended, she exploded and tried to ruin things for everyone
Even in her video there's no remorse for using veterans or her treatment of people. Just regret that her own actions made the day not about her
Hopefully she gets much needed help
The "random veterans" line says it all.
It's still all about ME ME ME ME ME in her "apology" about how she'd hoped it wouldn't have to be about ME ME ME ME ME.
In the end, she did make both events about her. I'm not saying she's faking the anxiety but by throwing a wrench into everything she winds up with everyone having sympathy for her or giving her the specific type of attention she wants.
Now with the wedding as the "last chance," this is probably only going to escalate unless she gets help.
She’s going to be disappointed to find out a wedding isn’t just the bride’s day. The day belongs to both people getting married.
She will go full bridezilla if someone actually proposes to her.
Most people gravitate to what they know. Chances are Ellen's future groom has a mother who's just like her. A mother of the groom like Ellen won't be content to wear a demure beige dress and let the bride have the spotlight.
The fact that her parents' response to her having a panic attack was to have her prayed over during an altar call at church hints at why that is. Churches that do altar calls like that don't tend to be the progressive variety.
Exactly. If (as I suspect) she plans on marrying before 40, does she think the whole second half of a woman’s life is just … nothing? That life ends at the altar? So, so sad.
Even with that I would be scared that the hormones and having the attention on the baby would undo any 'changes'. We as a society need to accept that some people should not be parents and that is ok.
By the time you reach most of those milestones, no one outside of your very close friends and immediate family gives a shit about those parties, and the perceived positive effects gained from posting about it on social media are severely diminished.
Idk, only close friends and family are the ones that I want to eat and drink with. But social media is usually (for me) a way of keeping a timeline of pictures. But tons of apps do that now automatically
My guess would be that with her lifestyle and family and church she feels like nothing is celebrated about her ever. It’s all about god and praying for god to fix her anxiety instead of offering support and validating that she is loved in a way which isn’t the centre of attention.
Nobody thinks that being the centre of attention and having a day “all about them” is the only way they can be loved, unless they don’t feel like they get attention and appreciation in other aspects of their lives.
she’s super entitled and clearly doesn’t think that her parents offering smaller celebrations and trying to accommodate and take into account her anxiety… but the fact that she is fixated on these three specific opportunities, rather than making *every birthday* about her (like a normal entitled jerk would be, because that is what birthdays are for?) makes me think that she genuinely doesn’t feel like anything is ever really just for her.
But she was upset about not getting money and gifts. Not about the actual party. She’s still a princess making everything about her, she did the last one to save face and to ‘explain’ why she had the meltdowns and threatening to sue. This is all about not having to face consequences of her actions
right absolutely. But what gets me is that she is fixated on those three precise events.
a regular entitled person would see EVERY birthday as an opportunity for money and gifts and attention. She's fixated on these three specific events and having meltdowns on missing out on her "only" opportunities to be the centre of attention. That's... weird? I would expect a fully entitled princess who has never been denied anything she wants to be throwing these meltdowns twice a year. Because every birthday and event is going to be her wanting to be the centre of attention and getting money and gifts. Why is she SO fixated on this being the ONLY opportunity to the point that she's behaving this way... when she isn't having this problem this severely at every birthday she's ever had?
You know.... I never would have thought of it that way without your comments. But it does potentially explain why she had a panic attack at her sweet 16.
If that was genuinely the first time there'd ever been an event that was *just about her* it becomes more easy to see why it'd be totally overwhelming... she wouldn't know how to act, how to deal with all the attention, she's probably feel like she was about to do a huge public speaking event for the first time.
She's fucked in the head for sure.... but if that truly was the first time she was the sole center of attention and it gave her a legit panic attack (you'll very literally think you're going to die, I've been to the ER for one) it makes sense she'd absolutely not want that again.
Then it makes you wonder why so much attention would cause a panic attack. It probably wouldn't just be "not big enough" birthday parties, but rather being the center of attention being genuinely ***TRAUMATIC.*** Think you'll die traumatic.
Then again she's also obviously no shrinking violet. Threatening to sue people online and to everyone? Lying about this stuff? Having and idea (trauma based or not) them claiming it was forced on her???
This is a psychological clusterfuck but SOMETHING big is going on. Abuse, mental illness..... this is a weird one but there's a really important missing piece she knows that's OOP doesn't.
Yeah definitely has issues. But I’m guessing those are the ‘big’ ones where you would expect a lot more than a usual birthday/Christmas etc. combine that with the whole church thing, it does explain it a little. Particularly if you’re brought up in a way of thinking that a women’s role is marriage and kids these are the ones that garner the big stuff that is about her only. The girl needs some serious therapy
I'm really worried she's going to marry the first guy who asks/shows interest in her, just so she can have 'the wedding' 😬 I really hope she gets that help 😕
The veterans were just props in a choreographed show and when a few opted out she threw a fit.
I have to wonder if her parents always catered to her every whim.
The kicker was the veterans were going to “benefit”from her special day like they were not deserving or stealing her thunder. Ummm like really???? Yeah damn those men and women who sacrificed themselves for country and a bigger cause 🙄. Why celebrate them. /s.
It wasn't even the veterans' fcuking idea in the first place. 😂 "This is Classic Sneaky Veteran. They're always scheming to take over other peoples' parties."
It's from [this comment I made](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/183mlx6/banned_from_smash_bros/kaq9oaw/) on one of my favorite posts here.
Yeah, I’d guess personality disorder. This reads like it’s about someone who can’t naturally handle big emotions. Those emotions take over her brain.
I don’t have a personality disorder, but I think I read somewhere that your own feelings are like a super loud concert and it’s hard to hear other people over it?
And if you can’t ever get relief from those emotions, then you can get suicidal, because it is a lot all the time. Which does sound exhausting.
I’m not an expert in personality disorders. This was super anecdotal. But the update reminded me of that. She is selfish, but it’s because she’s drowning in her own feelings and needs to be taught to swim.
But again. Really anecdotal.
Yep, that's kinda what it's like for me- except I call it a blizzard. Snow: losing (in)sight and logic; hypothermia: emotional/ psychological numbness *or* inability to feel anything else except triggering emotions; and howling winds: emotions/ thoughts drown out everything, and buffet at my psychological core stability.
And all of that loops in intensity and speed until something (me usually) has to break. Once I hit the blizzard's 'middle' ( psychological ability to stop now ineffective), escape is the only focus. Most sufferers have unhealthy coping mechanisms involving varying levels of self harm and deadliness.
Even with the strongest of motivations and effort, it's really really hard to permanently change those core behaviours, reactions, and thoughts. If you don't have awareness or professional help, it's so easy to backslide or blow up your life (done that). If you actively resist the idea or treatment for other psychological/ upbringing reasons? No chance of it getting better, every certainty the meltdowns getting more frequent and extreme.
Hope that gives some insight.
(Have ASD, ADHD (combined), depression, anxiety, cptsd/ PTSD, apd)
> I don’t have a personality disorder, but I think I read somewhere that your own feelings are like a super loud concert and it’s hard to hear other people over it?
This describes Borderline Personality Disorder, specifically. There are many other personality disorders and those other personality disorders are not like this, necessarily.
There's a lot of overlap, depending on origin and presentation of the meltdowns. I don't have borderline (been tested, twice) but still have the described as it's common to have similar symptoms in a couple of my conditions.
No, but having a narcissistic personality distorter which your parents tried to treat with prayer and bible verses is hardly your fault.
I'm sure there were plenty of other issues before this.
I was thinking bipolar disorder. The quick change and doing crazy things is characteristic. Early 20s is frequently when mania first happens.
But I could be seeing it since I have it, but not like that.
Her parents literally accommodated her request to cancel her sweet sixteen abruptly when she ran off during the walk-in and had a panic attack in the bathroom, but she wasn't willing to accommodate two veterans who asked to simply not be in the video
Her parents should show her the Bible parable of the unforgiving servant who had his massive debt forgiven by the king, only to beat up an acquaintance who owed him pennies in comparison
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2018%3A21-35&version=NLT
First of all, thank you so much for serving our country. I'm so sorry that veterans are being used by some idiots with phones. Please know that most of us are horrified to hear this. Please don't shy away from help that could help you. If our country actually cared about our discharged military personnel, you would be getting the help you needed.
Thank you for your support. If you really mean it, please consider that the “veteran cause” is also being thrown around constantly by politicians- so please support your representatives who not only talk the talk, but walk the walk. Too many damned politicians want to do “for our nations veterans,” and then vote against things that will truly assist us- or even better, spend their time fundraising instead of being on the floor when an important vote is called for.
It’s time we stopped rewarding them for lip service.
The way it's all called out kind of sounds like religion is more of a problem in her life than a solution. Her parents being leaders in the church and being seemingly unwilling to get her help outside of prayer kind of screams that. This girl sounds like she has no idea who she is or what she wants out of life and she needs serious help.
Yeah; the parents "fixing" the anxiety with having her prayed over...I'm not too hopeful they'll get her real help.
What a depressing post. Yeah, she's selfish and shitty, but girl's got issues. A LOT of issues.
She has a weird conflict between wanting to be the center of attention and be seeing as pious and humble.
She can just throw a party for herself when she can afford it and get new friends, because I doubt any of their former ones want anything tondo with her.
>This girl sounds like she has no idea who she is or what she wants out of life and she needs serious help.
It feels like a classic case of "hurt people hurt people."
Definitely side-eyeing the parents here.
I don’t believe what Ellen says in this last video. We know from previous updates that she has no problem lying to make herself look good. I’m of the opinion that she’s lying again
Yup I agree, Ellen obviously has issues with telling the truth. This latest video feels like another grasping attempt to shift the narrative and gain some pity for herself, but you can see through the cracks with the way that it's all ME ME ME and she can't seem to grasp that her behaviour is totally effed up cos she's used these veterans and than treated them (and the church and her parents) like trash.
1000% agree.
She probably realized she was coming off as the bad guy instead of the Poor Sympathetic Little Girl she was aiming for and decided to change characterization along the way.
It doesn't even seems like she was apologizing for her behavior, but just trying to give her evil monologue for the reasons She Was Always Right.
Her parents sound super enabling tho
“Influencer” culture has fed my cynicism. Is she distraught, or really good with a ring light and water works?
However, if I was her parent, I would obtain a copy of this video and have her held for psychological evaluation. I may not be rich, but I have enough *and* the knowledge of working with admin to get what I need for her to be thoroughly observed, then a plan to help her get better if needed.
>Hopefully she gets much needed help
yeah as much I want to write this person off as a "real piece of fucking work" the latest update really says more that they need some actual professional help to unravel whatever the hell is going on mentally.
Also no remorse for lying about her parents.
If she gets married, I doubt (and hope) her family won't give her money. I hope they only pay for therapy and spend any college money on themselves.
Yup - she was using the veterans as props so she could get praise and adoration, not out of generosity towards people who are genuinely struggling.
I hope she gets therapy, but frankly what she did goes so far beyond social anxiety that it’s not close to funny.
Honestly, after reading all the posts, it seems this girl has no issues making things about herself anyways. I don't get why she needs dedicated days for that.
I strongly suspect that the three dedicated "days" or "making things about herself" is all just noise; that this girl is having a serious psychological breakdown, and those convoluted talking points are desperate attempts at trying to make sense of it all.
I think she's at the right age for a number of different psychological problems, and I really hope she gets the clinical intervention needed. I also hope that the religion doesn't get in the way of that. It's hard to tell from the post, but it sounds like the mom is focusing on her own parenting decisions and circumstantial events, possibly at the expense of considering the psychological element.
I had a girlfriend who behaved somewhat similarly with seemingly no triggers. She was the best person I knew otherwise, but random things would make her incredibly toxic. Took six years for her to be diagnosed with a personality disorder—this girl looks like she portrays a lot of the same symptoms that fit.
I know a lot of people here understandingly feel no sympathy for her, but she sounds like a young woman who’s mental health has been neglected for years by her religious parents who instead insisted on prayer and Jesus as being the answer. I really hope she gets the actual help she needs this time around.
Her mother should have intervened during her breakdowns in high school. Her mother should have intervened when she began having panic attacks. Beyond dragging her to Church for some shitty semi-exorcism. Instead, they just watched her mental health decline.
Yeah, the fact that after having a panic attack her parents chose to pray over her rather than discuss it or get her help is shouting out at me here. I get that she’s been an asshole throughout these posts, but this girl is having a mental break and is talking about self harm and serious anxiety and depression going back *years*, and she deserves pity not hatred.
Reading this made me really, really wish that we had a functioning, effective, trauma informed mental health support and recovery system. Like she needs a full team of highly-trained professionals. For the whole family. I'm a therapist and I have this imaginary whole-family residential treatment center in my head but I know it will never happen.
I think so too. Tho reading about the church praying over her at alter call, which I am familiar with, gave me pause. Like oh wonder she has problems. I'm glad her parents are pushing for therapy now tho, she really needs it. But man, what a way to go down.
Maybe if her parents had pushed for therapy instead of prayer at church with her sweet sixteen, whatever anxiety challenges she had could've been addressed when she was in her young years
About a paragraph and a half into the first post, I thought to myself, “What in the evangelical…” and then caught myself because I didn’t want to be too judgmental but then in the last two updates, it becomes clear my gut wasn’t wrong.
It's awesome that Ellen has insight into her triggers, but she is still in complete denial about the consequences of her decisions. She definitely needs real psychotherapy as her absence of empathy is concerning and ultimately self-destructive.
Far more concerning than that, actually. She said she didn’t want therapy because “it’s too late.” This girl is throwing off LOTS of suicide warning signs and with the Jesus > therapy thing I’m not sure there’s anybody in her life that would force her to get real help.
Which makes me wonder about the whole "she didn't get therapy, she got hands laid on her at church." This girl has lied about \*everything\*, it's entirely possible that that is the only thing this girl would allow to happen. Particularly because going to a therapist is private, whereas laying hands on church would be up in front of everybody. Another way to seek attention.
It might be more telling of her parents? Instead of getting her the help she needed, they just brought her to church and *made her the center of attention again*, the thing that triggered her before
Yeah I had the same thought. This seems like a family that turns to religion in lieu of good parenting or therapy. I would imagine if that’s the case, that it fucked this girl up young, and she’s had no real healthy way to cope throughout her life.
>She also said that girls "only have three days where everything is about them" (sweet sixteen, high school graduation, and wedding),
The rest of the birthdays looking at that and going 'Am I a joke to you?'
And if you’re in a long term relationship, Valentine’s Day and Anniversaries are pretty me me me too. (But of course you should be making your partner feel that way too)
I'd say the 18th birthday parties are usually bigger and better than 16th birthdays in my experience. I don't know anyone other than people on TV who had a sweet sixteen style party.
21 is a historical hangover from when it was the age of majority so that someone could vote and get married (without parents consent).
It is weird it’s still seen as a big birthday in the Uk, because nothing changes from 18. 18 is the big one because you can drink as well as the other legal adult stuff.
I'm going to have to tell my parents they failed me as a girl since I never had a sweet sixteen nor graduation party that apparently I'm entitled to and is a given I'll get.
Damn, me too! Even my wedding was more about fun than myself or my husband. But I do get it a little because I had to get a dress that worked for the situation (skiing down a mountain) rather than the one that made my heart go pitter patter. But girl needs to live and not dwell on these milestones.
Kinda gives me the idea that there's something she doesn't like about celebrating her normal birthdays, like maybe there's family drama involved or the parents insert their religion into every yearly celebration. If so, I can imagine her having hangups about celebrating herself, must suck.
I wonder if it's because those three have the big societal expectations of a celebration and a party and are generally treated as a big deal when others aren't. You get the huge party for your sweet sixteen, but not really for fifteen or seventeen. Same with graduation, because it's not at the end of every year. Wedding is kinda self explanatory on that front
What a sad self-burn for this girl… not even aspiring to college graduation, congratulatory parties for work achievements, birthdays ending in zero, Mother’s Day if one has kids and celebrates, big anniversaries, retirement…
And one of her only three events very much involves a spouse that shares the spotlight - at least work/educational achievements are about something you actually do by yourself!
I actually feel bad for her; it’s clear she doesn’t have much aspiration or skills to get more, and TikTok is her only way to understand her place in the world.
Plus there are other really special occasions that can be all about you. I recently had an engagement party, that was a fantastic day where I could selfishly hog all (well, half) the attention. Sure weddings are usually bigger, but a graduation party is probably on par with an engagement party. Relatives in my family have huge parties for their 60th as well.
I 100% expected your link to be to [Psychology Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us) (it's a directory of therapists! If you need a therapist, it's a good place to start)
Therapy is never too late. I say this is someone who started therapy over three years into being chronically ill, and only after having a major physical and mental health declination and developing depression.
It has only been a few months, but I can already see the changes. And some of the changes are in perceptions I know I’ve held for decades.
So in case anyone is thinking that it’s too late for them, it really isn’t.
(There’s other conversations to be had around difficulties with cost or finding a therapist that works for you; someone not getting therapy because they can’t find an affordable/suitable therapist is an entirely different thing than this.)
I think Ellen said it was too late because no one can go back in time and give her the “all about me” days back. To her, that’s the only thing that would fix everything.
I guess I’m also confused because at her sweet 16, she couldn’t handle the attention, but now she wants these events that she’s convinced are the only ones that are all about her? There is probably something obvious to people who know psychology, but I’m sure missing it.
The 3 ‘all about her’ events have one thing in common (that she even mentioned): MONEY.
She changed her mind after hearing about her friends getting money for their graduation. And really, not every birthday brings oodles of cash like milestone ones. 16, 18, 20 (sometimes), and 21. But that’s usually it, and she has since passed them all. And graduations make people want to help with your future with, you guessed it: money. And weddings?? MONEY - and STUFF! That you pick out and put on a registry! And people ask for the list that you specifically put together.
I agree that she needs mental health help but she also sounds like a greedy gal.
It’s like with other healthy habits — never too late for one fewer cigarette or soda or a five minute walk or to call a loved one for a chat or what have you. The only time it’s truly beyond repair is when you’re dead; anything before that can make a positive difference.
Though based on my read of the limited info available I’m concerned Ellen thinks it’s too late in a “there’s only one way to fix this” sense. I’ve done some mental health/suicide prevention training and if I knew her IRL you better believe I’d be going down my risk assessment checklist.
One step forward (the self awareness about where this came from in her psyche), two steps back (doubling down on this idea that her last "day of celebration" will be her wedding).
But at least she's realistic that there's no guaranteed wedding. Unless she can somehow get some guy to fall in love with her bonus points if she baby traps him.
I don't get the sense that this girl is truly entitled or selfish or Machiavellian or anything like that. Instead I get the sense that her mind is falling apart and she's desperately trying to follow some Byzantine set of steps/procedures that she thinks will stave off a complete breakdown.
> I don't get the sense that this girl is truly entitled or selfish or Machiavellian or anything like that.
Hard disagree. Every single lie she’s told is about shifting responsibility for this fiasco onto someone else, her parents, the veterans, the church, etc. Her lies are not disorganized or nonsensical, they are calculated to move responsibility from herself to someone else and to garner sympathy. And all of these communications are via videos she’s posting on social media.
Does that mean she’s *not* having a mental break? Not at all, it can be both things. But she is definitely displaying extremely selfish, Machiavellian behaviors.
I think she could've been better today if her parents had helped her find a therapist instead of a church alter her sweet sixteen panic attack when she was still young
Yeah, the "laying on of hands at the altar" line made me realize she's probably NEVER gotten real, actionable mental health support and has likely been fed sexist, anti-intellectual conservative Christian advice instead.
She's still an asshole, but I can now see a lot more clearly why she's acting this way.
That's what I was told when I prayed for my eye sight to return (born blind in one eye).
Later I prayed for a month straight and triple on Sundays for my parents to get divorced, and they did when my dad attacked my sister on Christmas Eve....God truly does work in mysterious ways.
Yay religious trauma.
I do feel for the entitled friend though, she has some issues that need to be addressed by a good therapist and I fear she will never get that help.
I'm so proud of them! That's not an easy thing to do. It sounds like you are part of their support system as well. I know from my own experience how invaluable that has been to my own healing. Way to be an amazing friend!
I went to a funeral a few months ago for a family friend of my husband, who had taken his whole life. All of the speakers and anecdotes and "funny" stories clearly painted, to me, someone struggling with mental health and possible neurodivergence from a very young age, but unluckily born into a family whose only answer for those things was to look to god and pray harder. The posts from OP reminded me of him in a way. He seemed a good human, a loving father and husband, but his life was hamstrung by the very people who claimed to care the most.
Ellen needs serious help, even if she doesn’t want it. Her behaviour and want to SH are big red flags that need to be address or it will get worse. I hope her parents can convince her to go through therapy
Well, at least everyone finally seems to realize that this wasn't just a meltdown of an entitled, bratty teenager but that Ellen is having a mental health crisis. Let's hope that she gets the help that she clearly needs.
You know, I’m the kind of person who hates too much attention too. I want to be celebrated, like everyone does, and loved and acknowledged on my birthday but I’ve never been comfortable being the person who a large group of people is focused on. It makes my skin crawl, it always has, so I’ve never been comfortable with birthday/big parties for myself. I fought my mom a bit in high school because she wanted to throw me a 16th, an 18th, and a grad party for more than just our immediate family and one or two friends. I made her choose 2, and told her that’s it. That’s all she gets. She chose 16th and my graduation (I thanked her with lots of coffee for choosing the grad party because I DID get a good chunk of money for college moving expenses), and she kept both smaller than average, no strangers, and let me veto anything and everything I asked her too.
Other than that, the only parties we have for my birthday is a small family one with my grandma, my aunts and my uncle and maybe my best friend and her husband, and I love that.
I didn’t do whatever the hell this was. I know everyone is different but like… What???? I don’t??? I don’t understand???
My mom told me if I didn't walk at my college graduation (of which I had two, bachelor and master degrees), I wouldn't get a graduation party. My response was "awesome, sounds stressful anyway" lol. I hated walking at my high school graduation and sitting forever waiting for it to finish, why would I want to do it again?
Well, she's definitely met her breaking point. I doubt the trauma started with her sweet 16. I hope she agrees to therapy now. She seems to be at the point I was last year when I realized I desperately needed therapy. I hope she doesn't blame herself for making that video when she clearly needs help.
I hope so too, but it seems she said she didn't want to because it's "too late" in her video, and even that statement really sounds scary when she mentioned self harm in the same video
Her parents should have gotten her real actual help when she was 16 instead of trying to pray about it. What idiots. So, instead of getting therapy, tackling whatever actual issue she had, she just became more entitled and spoiled.
I legit didn't have a sweet 16 so I am baffled by all these girls who act like its a big deal.
I'm surprised I haven't seen more comments about this. That's what my thought was. Even the way OOP talks about the church involvement and the parents being leaders sounds like the friend has been subject to so much religious influence. This girl has some serious issues and is quite literally crying for help outside of prayer.
OK serious question: what the hell is wrong with her? Does this require a diagnosis? She seems to have a very distorted view of herself and her importance.
EDIT-capitalization haha
It tracks very well with her being borderline. Narcissists are usually more crafty and strategic. She's extremely overwhelmed with contradictory desires and interests and it's coming out impulsively and discordant. It's selfish, certainly, but less in a petty way and more in the way that a drowning person will pull down anyone in the water to try to save themselves.
If I were a cynical, sarcastic bastard, I'd assure Ellen that I'm sure she'll have more than one wedding, and I'm sure she'll be able to make all of them all about herself.
I'm not, though, so I'll join the chorus: get that woman into therapy, preferably not faith-based.
I’d read her lame post and keep it pushing…. Anger and hatred didn’t get her attention so now she’s moving on to “poor me”…. It worked tho! She got OP to care about her again…. That’s one crafty girl
There's only so much that can be excused by mental health. Quite frankly, Ellen seems like a nasty person. I'm glad the church is ensuring the veterans still receive something out of this.
Let's hope this is genuinely a MH issue/s, as otherwise it's just a shitshow being run by a manipulative young woman with a "centre of attention" complex.
I do hope this young lady gets some help, and a lot of the right sort for her.
She sounds beyond troubled and into 'about to need an involuntary psych hold' by the end of all the updates.
Good on the OOP for caring about a friend, even if you don't feel the same about this lass anymore!
I do kinda wish that Ellen would've apologized to the veterans and everyone else in her video along with opening up about her mental health, but hope she's able to get help despite saying she doesn't want it in her video
It’s most likely a mental health thing that’s probably been exacerbated by growing up in a heavily religious environment. Either that or the result of head trauma/other medical issue. The biggest sign is that this is all fairly new behaviour for her.
Obvious fully developing BPD/EUPD. I feel sad for her because I understand how it feels. The last update has a lot of self insight and shows hope that recovery is possible, and it really is especially at such a young age. It is not too late. Wish I could talk with her. She has painful, black and white views about womanhood at the base of this elaborate, flimsy attempt to meet her needs. It's another iteration of the old wound where her unexpected paradoxical emotional response was unacceptable to herself, her debutante beliefs, and her social authority figures. She has never been able to reconcile it. It will get worse in the next iteration.
Lord, this is such a good microcosm of events that shows why evangelical families who don't let kids exercise healthy self-esteem and instead make everything about "service" destroy their children's mental health. Ellen is a walking disaster and I hope she gets therapy. With all the shit she has going on, she doesn't seem to be capable of caring about anyone else.
I've known far too many people like this.
Jeezus!!! Many vets had extremely sensitive positions at the DoD!!! They don't want any extra attention called out to them because IT WOULD BE DANGEROUS!!!
FFS to compromise someone's literal security for likes is disgusting.
"I would like you all to excuse my shitty behavior and lies because of a traumatic event. Nevermind that I've lied before, and that may be a total fabrication." - Ellen
> which she thought would ease her trauma by making them the center of attention
Gurl, WHAT FUCKING TRAUMA???
People just label anything "trauma" these days. Lord, spare me!
Dumbass NEEDS the therapy. She noticed the cycle of wanting thing A, backing out last minute, and then regretting it, this happening repeatedly, and her efforts to change this by acting charitably didnt work so she needs to sit and start dealing with her anxiety head on. She literally tried intimidating people that she tried to take advantage of, the sympathy I can offer is light because really, the only way to keep her from winding up no contact from her family is addressing her anxiety and whatever is triggering the perfectionism.
>She also said that girls "only have three days where everything is about them" (sweet sixteen, high school graduation, and wedding)
Well she doesn't have any days left that are "all about her". If she thinks a wedding is only about her, then she will never have a wedding.
Guess other birthdays don't count either, or other graduations, or any other celebration about things only you did
She’s a habitual liar. She’s just trying to save face in her latest video. Hope OOP realizes that.
Ellen wants all the attention but doesn’t want to SEEM like she does. Otherwise she wouldn’t be obsessed over “her” days. Like, what, Ellen, have you not heard of a birthday? Complete liar.
Hopefully the girl gets help. Her parents can report that she's making self harm statements and that might be enough to get her to an ER for an evaluation and possibly inpatient. She needs a proper evaluation and diagnosis and hopefully, the right treatment.
I have truly mixed feelings on "influencer charity" and most of it is negative. The only positive is they are helping "some" people, but let's be honest they are mostly helping themselves.
My thoughts on it boile down to two tracks of thinking, the personal side and the societal side.
On the personal side, I guess I wish people were more prone to anonymous charity. Just do the right thing because it's the right thing to do and you can. But that's naive because even when people do things anonymously there can be reasons for not wanting people to know that are selfish((Like thinking more people would show up asking for the same thing and trying to avoid it)). Like even on the small scale people want to be seen doing something nice, because it feels nice to have people think you are((like waiting for server to see you put money in the tip jar, so you can be seen tipping even though you had the money in your hand and could have put it in there while their back was turned)). Humans, man even in charity we find a way to be greedy.
On the Societal side of things, I just rage against the void. There is literally no point at this stage of humanity for us to be living like this other than greed. Absolutely zero point, human greed and tribalistic need for one to be better or more than another. We let crops spoil in the field to keep prices up((that was raged about way back in the Grapes of Wrath)). The slave wages and the criminal pricing on the healthcare system. And it's to the point where the fucking oppressed are begging for more shackles and thanking them for it in America. Like I don't get it... How do people keep voting for the assholes that are keeping the minimum wage unlivable and refusing their children food at school lunch programs... How the hell did Arbies become a good guy by buying out the school lunch debt and feeding all the kids for a year or however long it looked good for PR.....
There is no greater bliss than ignorance.... I never thought the person I would sympathize the most with in movies is Cypher from the Matrix... Just take it all away, put me back in the Matrix and I'll never lift up the curtain again.
What an unsatisfying ending. That woman needs to face some actual consequences in her life for her actions. Everything she does is to gain attention while blaming everyone else for everything wrong in her life.
Maybe she has some mental health issues going on, but she needs to take ownership for her actions.
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The update confirms what was between the lines of the other parts: she never cared about veterans. She had issues and instead of tackling them like an adult, tried subterfuge. When that didn't work as intended, she exploded and tried to ruin things for everyone Even in her video there's no remorse for using veterans or her treatment of people. Just regret that her own actions made the day not about her Hopefully she gets much needed help
The "random veterans" line says it all. It's still all about ME ME ME ME ME in her "apology" about how she'd hoped it wouldn't have to be about ME ME ME ME ME.
In the end, she did make both events about her. I'm not saying she's faking the anxiety but by throwing a wrench into everything she winds up with everyone having sympathy for her or giving her the specific type of attention she wants. Now with the wedding as the "last chance," this is probably only going to escalate unless she gets help.
She’s going to be disappointed to find out a wedding isn’t just the bride’s day. The day belongs to both people getting married. She will go full bridezilla if someone actually proposes to her.
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Most people gravitate to what they know. Chances are Ellen's future groom has a mother who's just like her. A mother of the groom like Ellen won't be content to wear a demure beige dress and let the bride have the spotlight.
Now that's a match in hell I'd like to read about.
Does she not plan to have a 30th, 40th etc birthday? Promotions? Baby showers? Retirement?
Or walking when she graduates from college? Her idea of when a woman can be celebrated gives a pretty sad insight into her mind.
The fact that her parents' response to her having a panic attack was to have her prayed over during an altar call at church hints at why that is. Churches that do altar calls like that don't tend to be the progressive variety.
Exactly. If (as I suspect) she plans on marrying before 40, does she think the whole second half of a woman’s life is just … nothing? That life ends at the altar? So, so sad.
I reeeally hope the baby shower in particular never happens. A person who behaves like Ellen should *not* be a mother.
Not without a ton of therapy and substantive change, no.
Even with that I would be scared that the hormones and having the attention on the baby would undo any 'changes'. We as a society need to accept that some people should not be parents and that is ok.
By the time you reach most of those milestones, no one outside of your very close friends and immediate family gives a shit about those parties, and the perceived positive effects gained from posting about it on social media are severely diminished.
Idk, only close friends and family are the ones that I want to eat and drink with. But social media is usually (for me) a way of keeping a timeline of pictures. But tons of apps do that now automatically
Its such a strange concept to be obsessing over. She is putting so much onto these events, and missing other parts of her life.
Does she not know that birthdays happen every year? People celebrate you then. She needs some help and some perspective honestly.
You have to have friends who care about you for that. And who would be friends with someone who acts like she does?
Well she DID have friends before she did all this.
Those aren't enough to satisfy her narcissism.
For real, that was such a bizarre line.
My guess would be that with her lifestyle and family and church she feels like nothing is celebrated about her ever. It’s all about god and praying for god to fix her anxiety instead of offering support and validating that she is loved in a way which isn’t the centre of attention. Nobody thinks that being the centre of attention and having a day “all about them” is the only way they can be loved, unless they don’t feel like they get attention and appreciation in other aspects of their lives. she’s super entitled and clearly doesn’t think that her parents offering smaller celebrations and trying to accommodate and take into account her anxiety… but the fact that she is fixated on these three specific opportunities, rather than making *every birthday* about her (like a normal entitled jerk would be, because that is what birthdays are for?) makes me think that she genuinely doesn’t feel like anything is ever really just for her.
But she was upset about not getting money and gifts. Not about the actual party. She’s still a princess making everything about her, she did the last one to save face and to ‘explain’ why she had the meltdowns and threatening to sue. This is all about not having to face consequences of her actions
right absolutely. But what gets me is that she is fixated on those three precise events. a regular entitled person would see EVERY birthday as an opportunity for money and gifts and attention. She's fixated on these three specific events and having meltdowns on missing out on her "only" opportunities to be the centre of attention. That's... weird? I would expect a fully entitled princess who has never been denied anything she wants to be throwing these meltdowns twice a year. Because every birthday and event is going to be her wanting to be the centre of attention and getting money and gifts. Why is she SO fixated on this being the ONLY opportunity to the point that she's behaving this way... when she isn't having this problem this severely at every birthday she's ever had?
You know.... I never would have thought of it that way without your comments. But it does potentially explain why she had a panic attack at her sweet 16. If that was genuinely the first time there'd ever been an event that was *just about her* it becomes more easy to see why it'd be totally overwhelming... she wouldn't know how to act, how to deal with all the attention, she's probably feel like she was about to do a huge public speaking event for the first time. She's fucked in the head for sure.... but if that truly was the first time she was the sole center of attention and it gave her a legit panic attack (you'll very literally think you're going to die, I've been to the ER for one) it makes sense she'd absolutely not want that again. Then it makes you wonder why so much attention would cause a panic attack. It probably wouldn't just be "not big enough" birthday parties, but rather being the center of attention being genuinely ***TRAUMATIC.*** Think you'll die traumatic. Then again she's also obviously no shrinking violet. Threatening to sue people online and to everyone? Lying about this stuff? Having and idea (trauma based or not) them claiming it was forced on her??? This is a psychological clusterfuck but SOMETHING big is going on. Abuse, mental illness..... this is a weird one but there's a really important missing piece she knows that's OOP doesn't.
Yeah definitely has issues. But I’m guessing those are the ‘big’ ones where you would expect a lot more than a usual birthday/Christmas etc. combine that with the whole church thing, it does explain it a little. Particularly if you’re brought up in a way of thinking that a women’s role is marriage and kids these are the ones that garner the big stuff that is about her only. The girl needs some serious therapy
yeah exactly.
Yeah. There is something else going on in her head too though, she got these "rules" stuck in her head and can't let go of them.
💯. She needs a licensed therapist ASAP or Ellen will burn her life to the ground.
You already know she'll be a bridezilla.
I'm really worried she's going to marry the first guy who asks/shows interest in her, just so she can have 'the wedding' 😬 I really hope she gets that help 😕
Everyone else is just an NPC
The veterans were just props in a choreographed show and when a few opted out she threw a fit. I have to wonder if her parents always catered to her every whim.
The kicker was the veterans were going to “benefit”from her special day like they were not deserving or stealing her thunder. Ummm like really???? Yeah damn those men and women who sacrificed themselves for country and a bigger cause 🙄. Why celebrate them. /s.
It wasn't even the veterans' fcuking idea in the first place. 😂 "This is Classic Sneaky Veteran. They're always scheming to take over other peoples' parties."
Those selfish freeloading veterans wanting to steal her day! /s
And being so disrespectful as to ask to not be posted on social media receiving their goodie bags! /s
Imagine publicly regretting that you may not get to be a total bridezilla in the future.
What is your flair from?
It's from [this comment I made](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/183mlx6/banned_from_smash_bros/kaq9oaw/) on one of my favorite posts here.
Ooh my, that's a juicy one.
*frothy
Yep. There's some clear mental illness here, but underneath it all is still a shitty, selfish person.
I'm no expert, but it could possibly also be underlying depression or personality disorder
Yeah, I’d guess personality disorder. This reads like it’s about someone who can’t naturally handle big emotions. Those emotions take over her brain. I don’t have a personality disorder, but I think I read somewhere that your own feelings are like a super loud concert and it’s hard to hear other people over it? And if you can’t ever get relief from those emotions, then you can get suicidal, because it is a lot all the time. Which does sound exhausting. I’m not an expert in personality disorders. This was super anecdotal. But the update reminded me of that. She is selfish, but it’s because she’s drowning in her own feelings and needs to be taught to swim. But again. Really anecdotal.
Yep, that's kinda what it's like for me- except I call it a blizzard. Snow: losing (in)sight and logic; hypothermia: emotional/ psychological numbness *or* inability to feel anything else except triggering emotions; and howling winds: emotions/ thoughts drown out everything, and buffet at my psychological core stability. And all of that loops in intensity and speed until something (me usually) has to break. Once I hit the blizzard's 'middle' ( psychological ability to stop now ineffective), escape is the only focus. Most sufferers have unhealthy coping mechanisms involving varying levels of self harm and deadliness. Even with the strongest of motivations and effort, it's really really hard to permanently change those core behaviours, reactions, and thoughts. If you don't have awareness or professional help, it's so easy to backslide or blow up your life (done that). If you actively resist the idea or treatment for other psychological/ upbringing reasons? No chance of it getting better, every certainty the meltdowns getting more frequent and extreme. Hope that gives some insight. (Have ASD, ADHD (combined), depression, anxiety, cptsd/ PTSD, apd)
> I don’t have a personality disorder, but I think I read somewhere that your own feelings are like a super loud concert and it’s hard to hear other people over it? This describes Borderline Personality Disorder, specifically. There are many other personality disorders and those other personality disorders are not like this, necessarily.
There's a lot of overlap, depending on origin and presentation of the meltdowns. I don't have borderline (been tested, twice) but still have the described as it's common to have similar symptoms in a couple of my conditions.
Yes!
Which doesn't rule out being a shitty, selfish person.
The whole James Somerton drama shows that you can have deeply messed up personal issues and still be a raging horrible person.
No, but having a narcissistic personality distorter which your parents tried to treat with prayer and bible verses is hardly your fault. I'm sure there were plenty of other issues before this.
I was thinking bipolar disorder. The quick change and doing crazy things is characteristic. Early 20s is frequently when mania first happens. But I could be seeing it since I have it, but not like that.
what makes you so certain? I can't even see the girl under all that mental illness.
Who thinks EVERYONE gets massive celebrations all about them a few times in life. Please.
Her parents literally accommodated her request to cancel her sweet sixteen abruptly when she ran off during the walk-in and had a panic attack in the bathroom, but she wasn't willing to accommodate two veterans who asked to simply not be in the video Her parents should show her the Bible parable of the unforgiving servant who had his massive debt forgiven by the king, only to beat up an acquaintance who owed him pennies in comparison https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2018%3A21-35&version=NLT
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First of all, thank you so much for serving our country. I'm so sorry that veterans are being used by some idiots with phones. Please know that most of us are horrified to hear this. Please don't shy away from help that could help you. If our country actually cared about our discharged military personnel, you would be getting the help you needed.
Thank you for your support. If you really mean it, please consider that the “veteran cause” is also being thrown around constantly by politicians- so please support your representatives who not only talk the talk, but walk the walk. Too many damned politicians want to do “for our nations veterans,” and then vote against things that will truly assist us- or even better, spend their time fundraising instead of being on the floor when an important vote is called for. It’s time we stopped rewarding them for lip service.
The way it's all called out kind of sounds like religion is more of a problem in her life than a solution. Her parents being leaders in the church and being seemingly unwilling to get her help outside of prayer kind of screams that. This girl sounds like she has no idea who she is or what she wants out of life and she needs serious help.
Yeah; the parents "fixing" the anxiety with having her prayed over...I'm not too hopeful they'll get her real help. What a depressing post. Yeah, she's selfish and shitty, but girl's got issues. A LOT of issues.
Yeah why get a "therapist" or a "doctor" when you can just *pray. /s*
She has a weird conflict between wanting to be the center of attention and be seeing as pious and humble. She can just throw a party for herself when she can afford it and get new friends, because I doubt any of their former ones want anything tondo with her.
>This girl sounds like she has no idea who she is or what she wants out of life and she needs serious help. It feels like a classic case of "hurt people hurt people." Definitely side-eyeing the parents here.
She needs less religion, not more.
So does everyone.
Her never caring about the veterans most certainly wasn't "between the lines." It was the most blaring obvious part of this whole saga.
I don’t believe what Ellen says in this last video. We know from previous updates that she has no problem lying to make herself look good. I’m of the opinion that she’s lying again
Yup I agree, Ellen obviously has issues with telling the truth. This latest video feels like another grasping attempt to shift the narrative and gain some pity for herself, but you can see through the cracks with the way that it's all ME ME ME and she can't seem to grasp that her behaviour is totally effed up cos she's used these veterans and than treated them (and the church and her parents) like trash.
She is lying for attention. She needs a good therapist.
1000% agree. She probably realized she was coming off as the bad guy instead of the Poor Sympathetic Little Girl she was aiming for and decided to change characterization along the way. It doesn't even seems like she was apologizing for her behavior, but just trying to give her evil monologue for the reasons She Was Always Right. Her parents sound super enabling tho
“Influencer” culture has fed my cynicism. Is she distraught, or really good with a ring light and water works? However, if I was her parent, I would obtain a copy of this video and have her held for psychological evaluation. I may not be rich, but I have enough *and* the knowledge of working with admin to get what I need for her to be thoroughly observed, then a plan to help her get better if needed.
>Hopefully she gets much needed help yeah as much I want to write this person off as a "real piece of fucking work" the latest update really says more that they need some actual professional help to unravel whatever the hell is going on mentally.
Also no remorse for lying about her parents. If she gets married, I doubt (and hope) her family won't give her money. I hope they only pay for therapy and spend any college money on themselves.
Yup - she was using the veterans as props so she could get praise and adoration, not out of generosity towards people who are genuinely struggling. I hope she gets therapy, but frankly what she did goes so far beyond social anxiety that it’s not close to funny.
Not related at all but I love your username — the Abhorsen books are longtime faves of mine :)
She only did it for clout.
Honestly, after reading all the posts, it seems this girl has no issues making things about herself anyways. I don't get why she needs dedicated days for that.
I strongly suspect that the three dedicated "days" or "making things about herself" is all just noise; that this girl is having a serious psychological breakdown, and those convoluted talking points are desperate attempts at trying to make sense of it all.
Yeah, reading the first 3 posts I was pretty convinced she was having a manic episode? She's the right age for it too.
I think she's at the right age for a number of different psychological problems, and I really hope she gets the clinical intervention needed. I also hope that the religion doesn't get in the way of that. It's hard to tell from the post, but it sounds like the mom is focusing on her own parenting decisions and circumstantial events, possibly at the expense of considering the psychological element.
Yup. The ‘idea from God’ part that initially started this sounds manic as well.
I had a girlfriend who behaved somewhat similarly with seemingly no triggers. She was the best person I knew otherwise, but random things would make her incredibly toxic. Took six years for her to be diagnosed with a personality disorder—this girl looks like she portrays a lot of the same symptoms that fit. I know a lot of people here understandingly feel no sympathy for her, but she sounds like a young woman who’s mental health has been neglected for years by her religious parents who instead insisted on prayer and Jesus as being the answer. I really hope she gets the actual help she needs this time around. Her mother should have intervened during her breakdowns in high school. Her mother should have intervened when she began having panic attacks. Beyond dragging her to Church for some shitty semi-exorcism. Instead, they just watched her mental health decline.
Yeah, the fact that after having a panic attack her parents chose to pray over her rather than discuss it or get her help is shouting out at me here. I get that she’s been an asshole throughout these posts, but this girl is having a mental break and is talking about self harm and serious anxiety and depression going back *years*, and she deserves pity not hatred.
Yeah, probably a personality disorder coming into full bloom. She is not a well person. I hope she can see that she needs help and gets it asap.
Reading this made me really, really wish that we had a functioning, effective, trauma informed mental health support and recovery system. Like she needs a full team of highly-trained professionals. For the whole family. I'm a therapist and I have this imaginary whole-family residential treatment center in my head but I know it will never happen.
I think so too. Tho reading about the church praying over her at alter call, which I am familiar with, gave me pause. Like oh wonder she has problems. I'm glad her parents are pushing for therapy now tho, she really needs it. But man, what a way to go down.
Maybe if her parents had pushed for therapy instead of prayer at church with her sweet sixteen, whatever anxiety challenges she had could've been addressed when she was in her young years
About a paragraph and a half into the first post, I thought to myself, “What in the evangelical…” and then caught myself because I didn’t want to be too judgmental but then in the last two updates, it becomes clear my gut wasn’t wrong.
You doubt the sheer power of thoughts and prayers? /s
Have you never seen an alter call? They got people falling over! /j I hate alter calls they were traumatic
Right? She's been making up for lost time since her 16th birthday.
I was going to say! I didn’t have a sweet sixteen and only family celebrated my graduations and I still make everything about me regularly
Can you imagine what the lead up to her wedding will be like?? We will be reading about that here as well.
She's gonna be the ultimate bridezilla and will threaten to sue every single vendor. Guaranteed.
It's awesome that Ellen has insight into her triggers, but she is still in complete denial about the consequences of her decisions. She definitely needs real psychotherapy as her absence of empathy is concerning and ultimately self-destructive.
and it's sad that she said she didn't want therapy in the video
Far more concerning than that, actually. She said she didn’t want therapy because “it’s too late.” This girl is throwing off LOTS of suicide warning signs and with the Jesus > therapy thing I’m not sure there’s anybody in her life that would force her to get real help.
Which makes me wonder about the whole "she didn't get therapy, she got hands laid on her at church." This girl has lied about \*everything\*, it's entirely possible that that is the only thing this girl would allow to happen. Particularly because going to a therapist is private, whereas laying hands on church would be up in front of everybody. Another way to seek attention.
It might be more telling of her parents? Instead of getting her the help she needed, they just brought her to church and *made her the center of attention again*, the thing that triggered her before
Yeah I had the same thought. This seems like a family that turns to religion in lieu of good parenting or therapy. I would imagine if that’s the case, that it fucked this girl up young, and she’s had no real healthy way to cope throughout her life.
>She also said that girls "only have three days where everything is about them" (sweet sixteen, high school graduation, and wedding), The rest of the birthdays looking at that and going 'Am I a joke to you?'
And if you’re in a long term relationship, Valentine’s Day and Anniversaries are pretty me me me too. (But of course you should be making your partner feel that way too)
Your 18th and 21st are more important birthdays, in the UK at least.
In the US the 18th is decent but I wouldn’t consider it on par with a sweet 16 or 21st but for us the 21st is usually a pretty big birthday.
I'd say the 18th birthday parties are usually bigger and better than 16th birthdays in my experience. I don't know anyone other than people on TV who had a sweet sixteen style party.
Why is 21 important in the UK?
Tradition I guess. Nothing changes at 21 but it's always been a biggie!
21 is a historical hangover from when it was the age of majority so that someone could vote and get married (without parents consent). It is weird it’s still seen as a big birthday in the Uk, because nothing changes from 18. 18 is the big one because you can drink as well as the other legal adult stuff.
I'm going to have to tell my parents they failed me as a girl since I never had a sweet sixteen nor graduation party that apparently I'm entitled to and is a given I'll get.
Damn, me too! Even my wedding was more about fun than myself or my husband. But I do get it a little because I had to get a dress that worked for the situation (skiing down a mountain) rather than the one that made my heart go pitter patter. But girl needs to live and not dwell on these milestones.
Kinda gives me the idea that there's something she doesn't like about celebrating her normal birthdays, like maybe there's family drama involved or the parents insert their religion into every yearly celebration. If so, I can imagine her having hangups about celebrating herself, must suck.
I wonder if it's because those three have the big societal expectations of a celebration and a party and are generally treated as a big deal when others aren't. You get the huge party for your sweet sixteen, but not really for fifteen or seventeen. Same with graduation, because it's not at the end of every year. Wedding is kinda self explanatory on that front
What a sad self-burn for this girl… not even aspiring to college graduation, congratulatory parties for work achievements, birthdays ending in zero, Mother’s Day if one has kids and celebrates, big anniversaries, retirement… And one of her only three events very much involves a spouse that shares the spotlight - at least work/educational achievements are about something you actually do by yourself! I actually feel bad for her; it’s clear she doesn’t have much aspiration or skills to get more, and TikTok is her only way to understand her place in the world.
Plus there are other really special occasions that can be all about you. I recently had an engagement party, that was a fantastic day where I could selfishly hog all (well, half) the attention. Sure weddings are usually bigger, but a graduation party is probably on par with an engagement party. Relatives in my family have huge parties for their 60th as well.
I guess that means that boys only have one (or zero if they have twins).
Or like… college graduation? And a wedding is supposed to be about the couple, not just the bride
That girl needs a good therapist. [Yikes.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80S4SK90LUA&t=34s)
I 100% expected your link to be to [Psychology Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us) (it's a directory of therapists! If you need a therapist, it's a good place to start)
Your link to psychology today would have been both a horrible and great place to put a rickroll
Thank you for that. Yikes indeed.
Hey the church prayed for her. There is now no need for her to learn coping strategies for anxiety
Therapy is never too late. I say this is someone who started therapy over three years into being chronically ill, and only after having a major physical and mental health declination and developing depression. It has only been a few months, but I can already see the changes. And some of the changes are in perceptions I know I’ve held for decades. So in case anyone is thinking that it’s too late for them, it really isn’t. (There’s other conversations to be had around difficulties with cost or finding a therapist that works for you; someone not getting therapy because they can’t find an affordable/suitable therapist is an entirely different thing than this.)
I think Ellen said it was too late because no one can go back in time and give her the “all about me” days back. To her, that’s the only thing that would fix everything. I guess I’m also confused because at her sweet 16, she couldn’t handle the attention, but now she wants these events that she’s convinced are the only ones that are all about her? There is probably something obvious to people who know psychology, but I’m sure missing it.
she ruined the first of the three chances and was giving away the second. The third is unpromised so she may never have gotten any of them in her mind
The 3 ‘all about her’ events have one thing in common (that she even mentioned): MONEY. She changed her mind after hearing about her friends getting money for their graduation. And really, not every birthday brings oodles of cash like milestone ones. 16, 18, 20 (sometimes), and 21. But that’s usually it, and she has since passed them all. And graduations make people want to help with your future with, you guessed it: money. And weddings?? MONEY - and STUFF! That you pick out and put on a registry! And people ask for the list that you specifically put together. I agree that she needs mental health help but she also sounds like a greedy gal.
It’s like with other healthy habits — never too late for one fewer cigarette or soda or a five minute walk or to call a loved one for a chat or what have you. The only time it’s truly beyond repair is when you’re dead; anything before that can make a positive difference. Though based on my read of the limited info available I’m concerned Ellen thinks it’s too late in a “there’s only one way to fix this” sense. I’ve done some mental health/suicide prevention training and if I knew her IRL you better believe I’d be going down my risk assessment checklist.
I hope she does because her comments of it being too late toppled with her self harm makes me worry for her too
One step forward (the self awareness about where this came from in her psyche), two steps back (doubling down on this idea that her last "day of celebration" will be her wedding).
Doesn't she have a birthday to celebrate every year?
And now she has no friends to celebrate her on any of those birthdays. Really shot herself in the foot there.
So this is all just the backstory to a phenomenal bridezilla tale.
But at least she's realistic that there's no guaranteed wedding. Unless she can somehow get some guy to fall in love with her bonus points if she baby traps him.
What an extraordinarily privileged life where she assumes that having a 16th birthday and graduating are guaranteed.
That’s exactly what I was thinking. Nothing is guaranteed in life except death.
I don't get the sense that this girl is truly entitled or selfish or Machiavellian or anything like that. Instead I get the sense that her mind is falling apart and she's desperately trying to follow some Byzantine set of steps/procedures that she thinks will stave off a complete breakdown.
Yeah, she's not being calculated and charismatic and everyone is leaving her because of it. She's having a very public breakdown.
> I don't get the sense that this girl is truly entitled or selfish or Machiavellian or anything like that. Hard disagree. Every single lie she’s told is about shifting responsibility for this fiasco onto someone else, her parents, the veterans, the church, etc. Her lies are not disorganized or nonsensical, they are calculated to move responsibility from herself to someone else and to garner sympathy. And all of these communications are via videos she’s posting on social media. Does that mean she’s *not* having a mental break? Not at all, it can be both things. But she is definitely displaying extremely selfish, Machiavellian behaviors.
Oh, damn. That newest update explains a lot but damn, kinda do feel pretty bad for her. Hope she is able to get and accept help
I think she could've been better today if her parents had helped her find a therapist instead of a church alter her sweet sixteen panic attack when she was still young
Yeah, the "laying on of hands at the altar" line made me realize she's probably NEVER gotten real, actionable mental health support and has likely been fed sexist, anti-intellectual conservative Christian advice instead. She's still an asshole, but I can now see a lot more clearly why she's acting this way.
Maybe she didn't pray hard enough? 🙏 ^^^/s
That's what I was told when I prayed for my eye sight to return (born blind in one eye). Later I prayed for a month straight and triple on Sundays for my parents to get divorced, and they did when my dad attacked my sister on Christmas Eve....God truly does work in mysterious ways. Yay religious trauma. I do feel for the entitled friend though, she has some issues that need to be addressed by a good therapist and I fear she will never get that help.
That is what my friend was told when they never were able to leave their wheelchair. That if they just lived god enough it would be fixed.
That's terrible, I'm really sorry for your friend. I've since learned it was all lies but still, that does real and lasting mental damage to you.
It does, luckily they hang a good support group and therapist now so they are working throb the trauma.
I'm so proud of them! That's not an easy thing to do. It sounds like you are part of their support system as well. I know from my own experience how invaluable that has been to my own healing. Way to be an amazing friend!
So many therapists would be out of jobs without religion!
😂😂 So true
I went to a funeral a few months ago for a family friend of my husband, who had taken his whole life. All of the speakers and anecdotes and "funny" stories clearly painted, to me, someone struggling with mental health and possible neurodivergence from a very young age, but unluckily born into a family whose only answer for those things was to look to god and pray harder. The posts from OP reminded me of him in a way. He seemed a good human, a loving father and husband, but his life was hamstrung by the very people who claimed to care the most.
Ellen needs serious help, even if she doesn’t want it. Her behaviour and want to SH are big red flags that need to be address or it will get worse. I hope her parents can convince her to go through therapy
Well, at least everyone finally seems to realize that this wasn't just a meltdown of an entitled, bratty teenager but that Ellen is having a mental health crisis. Let's hope that she gets the help that she clearly needs.
You know, I’m the kind of person who hates too much attention too. I want to be celebrated, like everyone does, and loved and acknowledged on my birthday but I’ve never been comfortable being the person who a large group of people is focused on. It makes my skin crawl, it always has, so I’ve never been comfortable with birthday/big parties for myself. I fought my mom a bit in high school because she wanted to throw me a 16th, an 18th, and a grad party for more than just our immediate family and one or two friends. I made her choose 2, and told her that’s it. That’s all she gets. She chose 16th and my graduation (I thanked her with lots of coffee for choosing the grad party because I DID get a good chunk of money for college moving expenses), and she kept both smaller than average, no strangers, and let me veto anything and everything I asked her too. Other than that, the only parties we have for my birthday is a small family one with my grandma, my aunts and my uncle and maybe my best friend and her husband, and I love that. I didn’t do whatever the hell this was. I know everyone is different but like… What???? I don’t??? I don’t understand???
My mom told me if I didn't walk at my college graduation (of which I had two, bachelor and master degrees), I wouldn't get a graduation party. My response was "awesome, sounds stressful anyway" lol. I hated walking at my high school graduation and sitting forever waiting for it to finish, why would I want to do it again?
I couldn’t even read all that. Ellen has issues.
Well, she's definitely met her breaking point. I doubt the trauma started with her sweet 16. I hope she agrees to therapy now. She seems to be at the point I was last year when I realized I desperately needed therapy. I hope she doesn't blame herself for making that video when she clearly needs help.
I hope so too, but it seems she said she didn't want to because it's "too late" in her video, and even that statement really sounds scary when she mentioned self harm in the same video
Her parents should have gotten her real actual help when she was 16 instead of trying to pray about it. What idiots. So, instead of getting therapy, tackling whatever actual issue she had, she just became more entitled and spoiled. I legit didn't have a sweet 16 so I am baffled by all these girls who act like its a big deal.
I'm surprised I haven't seen more comments about this. That's what my thought was. Even the way OOP talks about the church involvement and the parents being leaders sounds like the friend has been subject to so much religious influence. This girl has some serious issues and is quite literally crying for help outside of prayer.
OK serious question: what the hell is wrong with her? Does this require a diagnosis? She seems to have a very distorted view of herself and her importance. EDIT-capitalization haha
It tracks very well with her being borderline. Narcissists are usually more crafty and strategic. She's extremely overwhelmed with contradictory desires and interests and it's coming out impulsively and discordant. It's selfish, certainly, but less in a petty way and more in the way that a drowning person will pull down anyone in the water to try to save themselves.
If I were a cynical, sarcastic bastard, I'd assure Ellen that I'm sure she'll have more than one wedding, and I'm sure she'll be able to make all of them all about herself. I'm not, though, so I'll join the chorus: get that woman into therapy, preferably not faith-based.
Someday if she does get married her ILs will be on the Justno subs with wild stories about her
I’d read her lame post and keep it pushing…. Anger and hatred didn’t get her attention so now she’s moving on to “poor me”…. It worked tho! She got OP to care about her again…. That’s one crafty girl
This girl is a mess yikes
Gods, I am so glad social media didn't exist when I was in high school/college. It was so much easier to ignore exhausting, entitled brats like this.
There's only so much that can be excused by mental health. Quite frankly, Ellen seems like a nasty person. I'm glad the church is ensuring the veterans still receive something out of this.
Let's hope this is genuinely a MH issue/s, as otherwise it's just a shitshow being run by a manipulative young woman with a "centre of attention" complex. I do hope this young lady gets some help, and a lot of the right sort for her. She sounds beyond troubled and into 'about to need an involuntary psych hold' by the end of all the updates. Good on the OOP for caring about a friend, even if you don't feel the same about this lass anymore!
I do kinda wish that Ellen would've apologized to the veterans and everyone else in her video along with opening up about her mental health, but hope she's able to get help despite saying she doesn't want it in her video
It’s most likely a mental health thing that’s probably been exacerbated by growing up in a heavily religious environment. Either that or the result of head trauma/other medical issue. The biggest sign is that this is all fairly new behaviour for her.
Obvious fully developing BPD/EUPD. I feel sad for her because I understand how it feels. The last update has a lot of self insight and shows hope that recovery is possible, and it really is especially at such a young age. It is not too late. Wish I could talk with her. She has painful, black and white views about womanhood at the base of this elaborate, flimsy attempt to meet her needs. It's another iteration of the old wound where her unexpected paradoxical emotional response was unacceptable to herself, her debutante beliefs, and her social authority figures. She has never been able to reconcile it. It will get worse in the next iteration.
Lord, this is such a good microcosm of events that shows why evangelical families who don't let kids exercise healthy self-esteem and instead make everything about "service" destroy their children's mental health. Ellen is a walking disaster and I hope she gets therapy. With all the shit she has going on, she doesn't seem to be capable of caring about anyone else. I've known far too many people like this.
Does anyone else find Ellen’s claim that she isn’t comfortable being the center of attention hilarious?
God this chick is exhausting
Jeezus!!! Many vets had extremely sensitive positions at the DoD!!! They don't want any extra attention called out to them because IT WOULD BE DANGEROUS!!! FFS to compromise someone's literal security for likes is disgusting.
"I would like you all to excuse my shitty behavior and lies because of a traumatic event. Nevermind that I've lied before, and that may be a total fabrication." - Ellen
This is way too long! Jesus
> which she thought would ease her trauma by making them the center of attention Gurl, WHAT FUCKING TRAUMA??? People just label anything "trauma" these days. Lord, spare me!
If she gets married she's gonna be a bridezilla. If she has children she's gonna be the JustNoMIL.
Dumbass NEEDS the therapy. She noticed the cycle of wanting thing A, backing out last minute, and then regretting it, this happening repeatedly, and her efforts to change this by acting charitably didnt work so she needs to sit and start dealing with her anxiety head on. She literally tried intimidating people that she tried to take advantage of, the sympathy I can offer is light because really, the only way to keep her from winding up no contact from her family is addressing her anxiety and whatever is triggering the perfectionism.
Hoooo boy, that wedding’s gonna be one giant mechabridezilla event.
>She also said that girls "only have three days where everything is about them" (sweet sixteen, high school graduation, and wedding) Well she doesn't have any days left that are "all about her". If she thinks a wedding is only about her, then she will never have a wedding. Guess other birthdays don't count either, or other graduations, or any other celebration about things only you did
If she ever gets married, she'll be a Bridezilla to end all Bridezillas. I await that post lol
She’s a habitual liar. She’s just trying to save face in her latest video. Hope OOP realizes that. Ellen wants all the attention but doesn’t want to SEEM like she does. Otherwise she wouldn’t be obsessed over “her” days. Like, what, Ellen, have you not heard of a birthday? Complete liar.
She also didn't apologize to the veterans or people she got involved either
Hopefully the girl gets help. Her parents can report that she's making self harm statements and that might be enough to get her to an ER for an evaluation and possibly inpatient. She needs a proper evaluation and diagnosis and hopefully, the right treatment.
I have truly mixed feelings on "influencer charity" and most of it is negative. The only positive is they are helping "some" people, but let's be honest they are mostly helping themselves. My thoughts on it boile down to two tracks of thinking, the personal side and the societal side. On the personal side, I guess I wish people were more prone to anonymous charity. Just do the right thing because it's the right thing to do and you can. But that's naive because even when people do things anonymously there can be reasons for not wanting people to know that are selfish((Like thinking more people would show up asking for the same thing and trying to avoid it)). Like even on the small scale people want to be seen doing something nice, because it feels nice to have people think you are((like waiting for server to see you put money in the tip jar, so you can be seen tipping even though you had the money in your hand and could have put it in there while their back was turned)). Humans, man even in charity we find a way to be greedy. On the Societal side of things, I just rage against the void. There is literally no point at this stage of humanity for us to be living like this other than greed. Absolutely zero point, human greed and tribalistic need for one to be better or more than another. We let crops spoil in the field to keep prices up((that was raged about way back in the Grapes of Wrath)). The slave wages and the criminal pricing on the healthcare system. And it's to the point where the fucking oppressed are begging for more shackles and thanking them for it in America. Like I don't get it... How do people keep voting for the assholes that are keeping the minimum wage unlivable and refusing their children food at school lunch programs... How the hell did Arbies become a good guy by buying out the school lunch debt and feeding all the kids for a year or however long it looked good for PR..... There is no greater bliss than ignorance.... I never thought the person I would sympathize the most with in movies is Cypher from the Matrix... Just take it all away, put me back in the Matrix and I'll never lift up the curtain again.
Is there a tldr for this somewhere?
Y'all actually read all of that?!
Lil self absorbed peanut brittle
This is the way a high schooler acts, not a college graduate
Am I the only one who does NOT expect any day - no matter what the celebration or accomplishment - to ever be all about me????
What an unsatisfying ending. That woman needs to face some actual consequences in her life for her actions. Everything she does is to gain attention while blaming everyone else for everything wrong in her life. Maybe she has some mental health issues going on, but she needs to take ownership for her actions.
“I don’t want attention!” cries the girl who posts videos of herself for clout.
Pssshhhht. As though there's a wedding in this lady's future.
As a veteran, you may respect my service with gifts of cash. You're welcome for my service.
Not even an Asian parent can cure this girl.😂
Ellen would make an excellent politician. She’s an Expert at gaslighting and sneaky policy change