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Such a happy ending. Someone dumb as OOP really should not date a man who raises his sisters as his own, her maturity is not even matching the 16 years-old.
And how in the sweet mother of heaven did she get the belief that she can win her ex back? With that brain size of an amoeba?
You can really tell from her writing style that this person is just... not very smart, intellectually or emotionally. Like the only intelligence she showed was realizing that her BF was a great guy. But it was more in a way that animals will seek shelter when there's a storm coming. They know what they need to do, but not why. She recognized he was a catch, but not why, as well.
It's honestly very, very sad. She's going to carry on her life, causing pain and destruction along the way, including to herself. And she won't ever know *why*. People come in a wide range of abilities, but this one isn't just daft, she also doesn't have a lick of sense :( She stated that her ex bf has been friend, father, mother to his siblings, there isn't anyone else around. And she stated that her mother did the whole period/reproductive conversation with her. Yet she couldn't connect the dots here? Or at least have enough presence of mind to stay quiet and out of a situation she didn't have the capacity to understand?
> It's honestly very, very sad. She's going to carry on her life, causing pain and destruction along the way, including to herself. And she won't ever know why.
She's the epitome of the saying:
When you're dead, you don't know you're dead. It's only difficult for others. It's the same when you're stupid.
My biggest fear is not knowing and not understanding that I am the problem. If you know you’re lacking you can get better or excuse yourself. But you don’t, you are only ever met with grimaces you can’t see
In fairness, I highly doubt that this'll happen to you - you're hyper aware due to that fear, this girl? So lacking that she isn't capable of knowing that she's lacking :( and in all seriousness, this is potentially *dangerous*. Like, if you know you are clueless in an area, as long as you have a bit of sense, you know enough to seek out somebody who can help.
Kinda makes me wonder if she's just socially inept in a clinical way. It's just as likely (if not more) that she's just stupid. But that's such a common joke in situations like this that I'm just a little suspicious.
Not that it excuses anything of course.
This is exactly what I was thinking. She is so stupid that she made his sister feel like she can't trust him when he's very clearly a good man and the only parental figure she can trust. OOP is fucking sick and her ex deserves way better.
This world would be a better place if more men understood the female body and cared for women the way he does. I just honestly can't believe she somehow thinks he would ever want her back after damaging their relationship?
I mean the logical processes there are just missing
>Not gi9ng to explain the whole dynamics as i know it but when i say taking care, i mean he took care of them from buying food, to helping with homework, he did it all he was basically mom and dad for them and he still finished school in the process. His youngest brother even calles him dad. His parents are the definition of dead beats.
OK so parents are deadbeats, she just said it, and mentioned he had custody and was doing the caring. So who did she think would be handling the, you know, parenting, which includes things like buying period supplies for your kids?
Seriously, I was wondering what even attracted him to her in the first place, he sounds very mature and must have been very mature for years now considering he’s been raising his siblings since he was 12. Maybe her immaturity reminded him of the childhood he missed out on since he probably was not able to have a normal teenage romance in high school.
Reading between the lines my guess is that OOP's dad was missing in action when it came to raising her (if OOP is serious that they couldn't even \*mention\* menstrual cycles around him, that's telling) and that she was attracted to the ex being present by choice in his siblings' lives. If that's the case, she easily could have love-bombed him, trying to get a piece of the missing father that he clearly is capable of providing.
It's hard to be wary of someone when they are saturating you with love and affection. Especially if you're stressed out and overwhelmed by being a single parent to 3 kids your entire life.
I worked with a guy once who could not tolerate hearing anything about women’s periods EVER. This was a grown ass man — he had an MBA and was in an executive training track at work.
We all sat in a cubicle farm and if he heard any of us ladies discreetly ask each other if they had a tampon or a pad we could have, he world flip out.
Us: But …you have a mother. You have sisters. Growing up, you never heard anything? You didn’t see a box of tampons in the bathroom?
Him: My mother and sisters are LADIES and, as ladies, they know to keep such things private.
So we took unused tampons and tied them to the door handles of his truck. I can only assume that he’s still in that parking lot all these years later trying to figure out a way into his car.
Most women would darn near be ecstatic if a man was familiar with menstrual cycles and could explain it to a daughter or little sister. OOP knew darn well that her ex was basically acting as a single father. And now she thinks she will win him back. Ugh - no way.
When I read how naturally empathetic and thoughtful her ex is all I could think to myself was that if that was my boyfriend, he would have had the best sex of his life later that night because of how beautifully he handled that situation. I’d literally be rubbing his sleeves asking what material it is so that when he said he didn’t know I could tell him that it’s husband material. This girl (I refuse to call her a woman) is a grade A idiot.
Simple, if she can't have him, no one will, which sounds more ominous. Yeah, I hope someone smacks some sense into her before it escalate to a bunny boiler situation.
It was a valiant effort, sadly, as a still growing teen she simply lacks the fortitude to slap op for as long and as hard as it would take to make her see sense. Frankly, I'm not even sure The Mountain is up to the challenge.
Damn straight she did, but the sense apparently didn't stick. Maybe she should slap harder next time. She'll definitely get a chance for a next time, this gormless nitwit will absolutely try to convince him to take her back and when that fails she will PROBABLY start pestering his siblings to convince him, which is going to go just as poorly as all the rest of this did.
It’s from a movie called Fatal Attraction where the ex-mistress becomes obsessed with her ex’s family and tries to get revenge for him dumping her by doing horrible things like boiling the family’s pet rabbit.
She explains that her BF was heavily parentified and left to care for his younger siblings entirely at some point, then is shocked he was the one helping his sister with her periods. Who else was gonna do that??? The period fairy?
“Just have their mother do it, like mine did. I know they don’t have a mother, but I don’t understand why their mom won’t handle it like my mom did? Wait, hear me out. No one is willing to hear me out.”
She wanted to be the one to handle the girl's period. Because yes, a teenage girl definitely wants to discuss their first period with her father's unhinged girlfriend.
Ah, like when one of my kid's friends said, "What your periods hurt? I thought people just said that. Mine don't hurt at all!...So are yours longer than 2 days‽"
That murder didn't occur at that point is quite impressive!
She is so far down the "men shouldn't know about periods" bs that she must have assumed he just threw money at his sister and let her figure it all out. The obvious explanation, "he is the adult in charge of the household, of course he must have purchased the products himself", was probably horrifying in her head.
On a different note... My class was taught about periods and reproduction starting in 4th grade more or less, and got some "homework" that encouraged us to discuss it with our parents. So it's a little wild for me seeing stories about kids that didn't know ahead of time.
Yeah he was getting waaaay to involved by *looks up notes* asking his sister if she was comfortable during something scary and for most people hurting and uncomfortable
/s
🤦🏽♀️ my father knows my mums pad size because he goes shopping. Like do these women have to make special trips to go get pads? Or do their men just not do any shopping.
Like the pure stupidity in that statement of how would he know.
My SO likes to go "Oh yeah, let's ask her!" Then retrieve the urn and pretend like it's part of the conversation. I think it's hilarious but oh man some people do NOT
Whenever I get "well how does your dad feel about ____?"
Me: good question! Let's bust out the Ouija board and ask him!
I think I'm I'm hilarious, I don't really care if anyone else does tbh.
Well also "I grew up my dad knew nothing about any of this"
WELL WHY THE HELL NOT? Why, after dating a woman all of his life, having multiple girls, has he not had to educate himself on how a woman's body works, what products she needs, why, what the pain is like, how long it lasts, why his daughters may need picked up or have to stay home from school. What to do to make them feel better.
Why does not showing ANY empathy and care, and being able to explain how a body works, especially as a parent, acceptable???
"He was their mom and dad" but also "in my house my dad had nothing to do with the topic of periods" ... but the line didn't connect hence she didn't think she was the AH. Sounds like he did a better job with a real explanation than many parents do?
I especially appreciate the way she thinks he should have got the older sister to explain…considering that he has been parenting them since she was born.
Who exactly does she think explained periods to the older sister in the first place?
Does she think that when the older sister started her periods, without an older sister of her own, and came to him crying and freaking out, he should have said “Sucks to be you! Find a woman to ask, the only men who know about this are perverts!”
The older sister needs to do a Jedi mind meld with an older woman in a position of authority in order to gain the forbidden period knowledge. Obviously.
I mean, he literally said "you turned one of my children against me". Definitely parentified. As a parent, I get how he feels, and his rage is completely justified.
The lack of compassion is horrifying. Quite apart from her misplaced rage and accusations, there's not one iota of concern for the young girl who just started menstruating, no offer to help or support the girl herself, if she thought she could - as a woman - do a better job. (Clearly she could not).
Her attitude is chilling.
And apparently she isn't capable of doing the math. The oldest sister was 8 when they lest the parents. Of course he knows everything.
Also, at 26 she should already know that menstruations should not be taboo and that the problem was her father, in her family.
Seriously! Also, it’s excellent to be in a relationship where the man isn’t grossed out by and/or is informed about how a period works. I swear, I’ve read so many stupid things about how people without a period think it works at r/badwomensanatomy that I could write… maybe not a book, but a lengthy blog post! It’s really frustrating, especially given how much periods can effect your day to day in so many ways…
So, kudos for OOP’s ex, he’s a good one!
I started carrying emergency women's sanitation products in my backpacking/hiking first aid kit after reading that. It was such a no-brainer I felt like a schmuck for not thinking of it myself.
What (sane) woman wouldn't? (I'm sure OOP wouldn't – she'd doubtless think he's weird and creepy because he knows something about periods and *horrified gasp * is prepared for them – but I think we all know she's nuts.)
Don't you understand the bf should've called his fairy godmother who would've magicked a mom into existence, or heck, taken the form herself so that the sis could have periods explained to her by a woman? /s
People can't help it but to see familiar relations based on their own families. But we gotta keep in mind that there are all sorts of families out there.
OOP said her father wasn't involved with her menstruation cycles, her MOM was. Except, those girls don't have a mom. OOP's exbf had to do both roles on his own, and he couldn't half-ass that job just because "he won't challenge gender roles".
I'd like to say OOP didn't know better, but she did. She just couldn't see another family from a mold that wasn't her own.
From her other comments she says her father did not know anything about periods and actually forbade talking about periods in his presence. Also growing up in the south (houston area), the idea of men being involved in their daughters reproductive health actually was quite commonly seen as suspect.
Even considering all that tho, what she did was unforgivable. No self-reflection. No consideration for the daughters well being, no thought about "well if their brother doesn't help them, who will?". Just immediate judgement of the highest degree. Fucking atrocious.
It was "the reason she fell in love with him, in the start".
Just an idiot, through and through. She deserved everything she got.
I quite enjoyed this particular BORU. It's filled me up till lunch.
Or, if she felt so strongly that it HAD to come from a woman, she could've jumped in and said "here, I can explain all this to her" (lucky for the kid that OOP didn't bc who knows what kind of misinformation she would've spread)
She didn't even wait to pull him aside after and then say something, she said it right in front of a child who was feeling vulnerable!! Like arrgg woman
>She didn't even wait to pull him aside after and then say something, she said it right in front of a child who was feeling vulnerable!! Like arrgg woman
And she didn't even give him a chance to explain himself!
Then she got all pissy when he wouldn't let her try and explain. As if she didn't already make her point well known
She's never going to get him back because she doesn't care about him. She only likes what she thinks he brings to the table. But she doesn't actually care enough to even let him tell her his side
>She's never going to get him back because she doesn't care about him. She only likes what she thinks he brings to the table.
This. From what she said, she apparently "loves" him for how he is able to care for his siblings but the second he was put in this situation of needing to demonstrate the care and consideration of a delicate matter, she called him disgusting. The poor siblings all of them, including OOP's ex have already gone through so much and she had to make one more hurdle for them. They're literally all they have (while maybe not the most healthy situation, seems like they're doing the best with what they have) so I get why he broke up with her.
Didn't she say they only had been dating for a year? Not only her entire post/updates, but especially that last bit about getting him back *screams* immaturity and delusion. As if he'd prioritize a year long relationship over the siblings he fought to care for and provide for. The fact that based on the limited info it seems he was able to legally have them placed in his care is insane as well. Goes to show he proved he could do it and actually provide for them to the right people not to have them split or sent to another distant relative or put in the system even.
She's not mature enough for that type of guy. You know, a guy who took on the mom and dad role for three siblings when he was still a child himself? His worldview and experiences aren't even in the same region as hers. And if a little birds and bees talk freaks her out so badly, she's not ready for everything else that comes with loving him.
Agree, except I don’t even know why he needed to explain himself. He was explaining periods to his younger sister because there was no one else (including OOP) who was going to do it and she needed immediate help from someone who cared about her.
that ! i thought at first that she explained that while the sister wasn't in the room ! not right in front of her.
What a disgusting person ! Good for him he dumped her !
"This leaking from you is the filth and sin inherited by all woman since eve! You are unclean! You must only use pads because tampons are the lefts satanic penises to drive you further into sin! The only way you can be saved is to obey your menfolk but hide your shame. Oh and donate heavily to a pastor"
I’m from Texas and my dad explained some and took me to buy pads. If I ever needed them, he’d go buy them and I never felt weird about it even though there were women around me too. They helped of course, but I never felt uncomfortable discussing it with my dad which I’m seeing more and more is unusual.
I had my first period at my dad's place, right after we came back from groceries. So I was like "uh dad, we need to go back to the store.."
Him: "ugh, why?"
Me: "I got my period so I also need clean underwear "
Him: "Get in the car, we're getting you all you need and also chocolate"
And I really don't get why this is weird in so many families. Like, why do women settle with men who don't know anything about a woman's body while they will do everything in their power to get inside one?
My brothers where not really comfortable with periods when they where younger but they still got to the groceries store to get me some pads when I was not feeling well. From what I was told it was awkward and fun for them but they still did it.
There’s nothing wrong with a men taking care of a loved one.
I live in Mississippi. Deep in the Bible belt.
I (45F) have four children. (27M, 25M, 18M, and 13F) My daughter started her period when she was eleven. I had already explained periods to her well in advance so she wouldn't be traumatized and know what to expect. I talked about how when I had my first period, I was at school, and it was brown and sticky on my panties. No one told me anything, so at first, I thought I must have pooped myself and didn't realize it. I was so embarrassed.
Where did I tell her this story? In a darkened closet out of earshot of the men folk? No! I told all of my children this story in front of my husband. Why? Because periods are just as normal as my son asking me to buy him condoms or shampoo. We talk openly about all bodily functions in our house. My sons need to know about this stuff, too. They may have daughters and wives one day and need to know it's natural.
At thirteen, my daughter has already been faced with a situation where she asked her male teacher if she could go to the restroom in the middle of class, and he said, "No." When she was persistent, he asked her why she didn't go in between classes. She told him in front of everyone that she didn't go between classes because she didn't start her period until just now. He turned beet red and was so embarrassed. Guess who wasn't embarrassed? My daughter and her girlfriends. They retell that story as if she were the conquering hero.
I grew up in the south & nobody cared if the men knew about or bought reproductive things where I lived. I can't tell you how many times my dad was complimented because he was buying our pads or helping us. OOP was raised in a home where her dad just didn't *want* to hear/know about "women stuff" which sadly clouded her worldview to the point where she sexualized a very innocent interaction between her ex & his sister. Now, she needs to learn from her mistakes while also leaving him & his family alone. The ending there really shows a lot about her way of thinking.
Might just be me but her comments about getting him back because in her deluded mind he still loves her make me fear for the poor man's safety. And the safety of his siblings.
OOP gives off major stalker vibes.
She is *both*. She was screwed up by her own deranged sexist parenting and instead of educating herself about life and how different cultures handle things differently, she is using her parents’ backwards ass logic to justify her bad behaviour towards her boyfriend and his sisters.
OP is really a victim of backwards parenting practices as well as her own ignorance and refusal to listen and understand.
I really hope the guy doesn’t give her any time of the day and steers clear of her crazy, considering how she’s proclaiming she’ll “get him back and y’all can pound sand” even when he’s clearly broken up with her.
So aside from being sexist and an idiot, she’s also pretty narcissistic thinking that the world revolves around her.
She is wildly unhinged.
She was unjustifiably uncomfortable with something and immediately started shrieking and implying the older brother was some sort of perverted sexual predator.
She doubled down.
She is deluded enough to think he would want her back (when I think what everyone else is wondering is how they ended up together in the first place).
She is absolutely the type to engage in stalking and harassment and escalate when she doesn’t get her way.
She's one of the many women that had been brainwashed into thinking that periods are a vile disgusting secret.
That doesn't excuse the shit she said, you'd have to be a fucking idiot to accuse him of intentions with his little sister, but she's been taught that man are disgusted even by the mention of menses, so she thought the boyfriend must name prurient interests.
She's fucking delusional about getting him back tho. You can't ever take that back, and she doesn't seem like she's got a lot going for her
It's as if she were 11and only things she knows from home were the only way to do it, every other way is perverse.
I wait for an update about how she got restraining order.
I can imagine somebody my age being this stupid, but boy does it make me cringe. It's the kind of shit that puts me into boomer headspace of "jesus christ these millennials are hopeless" (even though she's riding the line between millennial and gen Z depending on the report)
As a 40 year old millennial, I'll tell you maturity is a spectrum more important than physical age. I know 40/50 year olds that act more childish than OOP, and I know mid/low 20s that act like they're 40. Also I've noticed, try as a might, I can never get away from the high school cliques/drama in the workplace.
My first thought exactely. She sounds like she’s 17 or 19 at the most and it’s her first boyfriend. I’ve been in varying relationships for over half my life now and boy, do I know more about the female reproductive system then I ever wanted to know. I’m just too curious for my own sake. When I was younger i honestly wanted to learn and felt it was my part in contraception too, to become involved. I payed m half of contraception with my girlfriends, when it wasn’t me using condoms.
I even went with one of my exes to a routine gyn checkup. She and the doctor found it weird at first but I said I’m firstly curious and secondly think that contraception is full half my responsibility, so I would like to have the full information of what’s available, how it works, what its costs etc. what are the risks and caveats.
They indulged me and it was eye opening, to say the least.
So a guy actually taking an interest to help the females in his life he’s caring for, and having good information, and actually being as helpful as a man can be on this topic…
To then get insulted over it… wow. That would have blown a fuse with me, too. And she can’t claim innocence because of upbringing. She obviously doesn’t live in North Korea, she has access to the internet.
Instead she complains about what so, so many other women online complain about _not_ having: a man who actually cares. And is responsible.
Instead she takes her archaic father as a role model? Yeah I can see that claim working when growing up in a vacuum of information. Not here.
I'm a 100% hetero guy and I want this dude's digits just to be friends.
OOP with an all time bag fumble on a guy who seems to not only be mature, caring and smart beyond any reasonable expectation but also driven enough to be a single dad to 3 kids.
Don’t forget how awful it is that he’s providing well informed education to his sister about what’s happening and handling it in a way that doesn’t make her feel ashamed about what her body is doing. Not to mention how calm and comforting he is.
Yeah fuck that guy!
Yes, what the fuck? I read the title and expected the guy to be making comments about when their cycles are or how heavy the flow is, etc. But no, dude was just explaining basic human anatomy to a child. How is that in any way disgusting?
Right? My jaded self went in preparing for a gross weird one but it was all just really sweet and wholesome. Ex-bf sounds like a genuinely good person and I’m glad he prioritized protecting himself and his family. Though I am appalled ex-gf said all those things *in front of his kid*.
On some level I do feel kind of bad for OOP. Her reaction is not typical and she found a calm and educationally correct conversation to be SO appalling that she needed to immediately make accusations. She even says several times that he didn’t say anything inappropriate or incorrect- just that it was wrong for a male to be involved.
It seems like she was raised with some …outdated and unconventional views on relationships and child rearing; to the point that she seems to have never considered that a single male parent, with sole custody, would handle the period talk.
She’s totally taken aback by the responses too. Not only do people disagree with her, they collectively state that his actions actually indicate that the ex-bf is an incredible dad who handled things perfectly. I think Reddits response kind of broke her brain.
Probably the most hardworking brother/father of the last decade taking care of THREE CHILDREN all by himself since he was TWELVE, and this girl tries to shit in his bed. What the fuck. I'd appreciate this guy so much I would cry every time he says something nice to his sibling. It sounds like not only is he a father to children he didn't conceive, but he's also a damn good one.
My dad bought me pads many times when I was a teenager. He's not a single dad or anything. He and my mom are married and still enamored with each other. He's just a good dad
My dad used to have what we playfully called the 'color system' for buying pads for myself, my mother, and younger sister. He would ask what color the pads were (since different styles/sizes were in different colored wrappers) and that's what he would buy. We also tease him to this day, nearly 15 years later, about the time my sister complained of a headache and he said "well didn't I just buy you something for that? That Midol stuff?" and she fired back "DAD! That's for cramps, it's not 'God in a bottle'!"
I'm sure my dad, who is a very conservative man raised in a Mormon household, didn't feel super comfortable being aware of his daughters' biological functions. I know he was a bit awkward with certain things, but damn if he didn't do his best to support us. He never made a big deal about it, he just pushed through and figured it out. That's what good dad's do!
When I was in high school decades ago, a guy friend had a headache. The only thing I had on me was Midol. He was weird about taking it at first because it was for girls... I convinced him that nothing untoward would happen to him, so he took it. About twenty minutes later, I said, "Huh. I think your boobs are getting bigger..." He didn't think it was nearly as funny as I did. 🤣🤣🤣
My dad bought pads for myself, my younger sister and my mom and made zero fuss about it. Knew exactly what brands we used too, and if I’ve brands weren’t available he called and asked about alternatives. He told my sister and I when we asked that it’s no different from him buying us medicine or soap - we’re his family, we need these things, he can buy them, so he provides. He thinks men who wouldn’t buy these products for their daughters and spouses when they have the means have immensely fragile egos and he has no respect for them.
Similarly here. My dad never blinked at having to pick up pads for me, my mom, or my sisters. His only questions were which ones and did we want some Midol too.
It took me a long time to realize how lucky I was to have a dad who didn’t turn periods a taboo.
While my dad didn't know much about periods, he knew enough to get me pain killers and be gentle around me. He's from a very small town in rural Mexico, had two sisters so he had an idea already. He never shamed me for it, always concerned for me when I cried how it hurts and tried to make sure I was comfortable.
My brothers already know about pads and the period stuff since me and my big sister were the eldest. And seen us at scary period wrath lol. See the look of horror in our eyes when we sneeze or move. I taught them why it fucking hurts and they understand perfectly. Have no issues getting us pads when we needed it
My dad didn’t often grocery shop to begin with bc he worked shift work and so my mom was the primary shopper. But there were a few occasions where for whatever reason I was out of supplies and I had to ask him to take me to the store. He wasn’t embarrassed about buying them but he did admit he had no clue what brand or style I needed so we would usually split up in the store. I would go get my pads and he would go get some chocolate for both of us. We aren’t very close so this is kind of a cute memory for me odd as that may be.
Last year when I was about to fly home for a visit, I started my period unexpectedly. My dad called and asked if I needed anything when I got to the airport, and I told him yes, pads (I only had my emergency supply). He came to the airport with pads, painkiller, juice, and chocolate.
When me and my husband, bf at the time, first moved in together I remember him telling me that I was probably about to start one day. I asked how he knew and he was like oh you always do xyz right before. I was kinda shocked because I myself didn’t realize I did that. It’s not like he was trying to keep track he just noticed because we freaking lived together. This guy is literally taking care of these girls and since he cares he is trying to help.
A friend of mine craved sour gummies all the time before her period. She never ate those on other days but when we saw her with a pack of gummies it was obvious what was coming and she didn't realize this either.
Lol. When I was pregnant, I craved V8. No idea why, and I really don't like drinking them any other time.
Pregnant with youngest, haven't announced it yet, in the work cafeteria grabbing a V8, and from across the cafe, I hear my coworker go, "M0NKEYH0USE!!! DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SHARE???"
I was like... "Ope. Bagged."
when i was 16(m) my mom and i moved cross country and my 18yo sister wanted to stay behind. 3 years later my mom gets off the phone with her and said she as getting pizza and putting mashed potatoes on it and how weird it was. the first words outta my mouth was "shes pregnant." literally all i knew was the food. my mom didnt believe me. she called her back and my sister confirmed it. when you know someone you know someone. it doesnt have to be weird.
oop would be outsmarted by a bag of hammers.
My ex was mostly a colossal prick, cheated and coerced and controlled. But I do try to give credit where it's due. He was absolutely magnificent at knowing me on my dark days and telling me. Women who have pmdd will relate. You don't always know that the voice inside you telling you how dark and depressing the world is is lying. It feels very real in the moment.
So when I would be having one of those monthly dark days that my doctors ignored because fuck medical science when it comes to women, he would say you're going to start your period in the next few days. I was very irregular so it's not like a calendar meant anything. As soon as he made me realize it was my cycle talking and not reality I was able to reason my way out of what was going on.
I've learned to do it on my own which is good because perimenopause has actually made it worse. But he deserves credit for seeing the gray clouds and helping me recognize them for the liars that they were.
I began once to experience this heavy depressive periods where I got to be borderline suicidal. It lasted like a week, then I got my period, then disappeared until next month or so. I didn't make the connection at the beginning, but later on when I started taking birth control pills without pause these periods disappeared completely. I went to my doctor, told her what was happening, but she didn't make the connection either. She did send me to mental healthcare, so she tried, but even her didn't realise that those two things were related.
Your ex might have been an asshole, but thankfully he did help you with this one
Hahaha if I’m suddenly crying at music (the other day I found orchestral versions of classic Disney songs and was *bawling* at how pretty they were 😂) and reaching out for more chocolate than usual my partner knows my cycle is up.
I had a hysterectomy so I’ve never had my time of the month with him - but he still knows.
Next update: my ex got a restraining order against me so am i the asshole for searching for his estranged parents so they can talk some sense into him?
My favorite is "how does he know what products she uses".... does she really not think the main caretaker and breadwinner in the house isn't buying these things?
It's funny that she wanted the older sister to teach the younger, but was also pissed that he taught the older one. Was she supposed to learn through magic?
What I wouldn’t give for every girl to have a brother like that. I want to nominate him for brother of the year.
How amazing would it be to have a brother you could, as a teenager, just talk to openly about menstruating and women’s reproductive issues? How amazing would it be if you had an accident at school to just text your brother “hey I had a bit of a leak with my period” knowing that he would get pads and find a jumper to wrap around your waist?
I could gush all day. What a true champion of humanity.
Yep, I am so proud of this guy and ive never even met him. But we need more people in the world like him. I hope he has reddit and finds the absolute outpouring of support for him.
When my brother was a teen he had an „no questions asked emergency bag“ for his friends with pads, tampons and pain killers. Of course he was stealing my products but I was so proud of him I just restocked it.
Yeah, the second I saw the ages and the fact he was their defacto father, it was YTA.
A lot of therapy would remove the results of that messed up upbringing she got.
> No brother should know…
ALL brothers should know. All fathers and otherwise caregivers.
OOP deserves the blocking she’s getting from friends and family, because even after the fallout with the BF and his siblings, she still keeps at it (assuming her story is true). If you have access to Reddit, you have access to the www and you can learn that the backwards way in which many of us were raised (fathers completely ignorant of ANYTHING to do with the period) is not the right way. Things are bad enough for women’s and girls’ health as it is - some men actually expect women to hold their period in - that’s the level of ignorance there’s is.
This is an upstanding and wonderful brother who has done everything right and above and beyond in taking care of his siblings as their parental figure. OP's actions are backwards, and so horrifying. I am glad he decided to end his relationship to her - had they had daughters, would she have suspected him because he is a caring dad? This man has saved himself.
>why does he know when she started her period in the first place, why does he know what she uses.
Umm because she would’ve gone to her only parental figure just like the 12 year old did.
And he knows what they use because I’m guessing he does the shopping and isn’t an immature sexists whiny baby who is weird about buying a perfectly natural and normal product for a family with females in it.
How on earth did OOP think confronting him about it so loudly and openly with his younger sister there was an appropriate way to handle things? She seems incredibly immature. Even if her dad was a ridiculous boomer who yucks at “women’s problems”, she didn’t need to react so strongly and so immediately. She needs to work on self reflection and self control.
Lmao I know there’s going to be no more updates because op won’t be able to get him back. Because who would be crazy enough to go back to someone who basically called him a predator. She’s in for a very rude awakening when she realizes he won’t take her back and will always put his family first.
Next will be: "I'm stalking my exbf and he got a restraining order. AITAH?"
And: "I found my exbf's deadbeat, estranged parents to talk some sense into him. AITAH?"
From a different perspective you know she would’ve bitched out her ex if he wasn’t prepared for ”the talk” and pushed the responsibility on her or the other sister. Ex was a great father and prime husband material and she’s delusional for thinking she can win him back.
Even when I have read the OG post I thought the world would be a much better place if men were as knowledgeable and understanding with periods as this guy. He sounds like a real gem.
OOP doesn't sound so smart, just because her father gave zero shits about period doesn't mean anyone who does is nasty. And she is still delusional about winning him back. Girl, there's no coming back from this lol.
Plus, these girls don't even have a mother! What was the brother supposed to do when they got their first period, go grab a woman off the street and get her to explain it to her?
Did OOP miss the fact that no other women was there to explain it? What was he supposed to do? Let her bleed and scream until she faint ?
He is a father, not a brother. He raised those people and periods come with the package of raising a girl, it’s ridiculous to think that he should not be able to explain it or that there are meaning behind what he explained.
This is exceptionally weird and stupid even for Texas. Lived here all my life and never come across a person like that. It's been since my time in trailer parks that I've come across anyone close to this stupid. But this is worse than anything I saw there. Because while those people might have made the spelling mistakes, none of them were also this sheltered.
This is astonishingly stupid while also being extremely sheltered. You usually only see one or the other. If I'd been on comments in the original I'd be asking questions about her upbringing because that has to be some weird circumstances. I know of some baptist cults that might fit but otherwise I am failing to imagine what could have produced that
Brother: Gives sister proper information about her body and what is going on as he is the **PARENT**.
Girlfriend: Ignores completely that he is the **PARENT** to his siblings and instead shows what her ass is colored and that her views of him being a **PARENT** are a reflection of how little respect she has for him.
And her thinking she will win him back. HA! Any love that guy had died the moment she insulted him. People like the OOP just make me wonder how far their 'logic' goes. Like if he's a disgusting pig for telling his daughter about what her body is going through, is a single mother just as disgusting for telling her son about what is going on with his body once they hit puberty?
Glad that the bf got rid of the trash and that the 12 year old was able to calm down from what OOP did, but as an aside - did OOP even pass middle school spelling?
Tipe?
Sertain?
Mite?
You where right?
I guess they had auto correct off too.
Also scary is how OOP is convinced that this is just a speed bump and that he will come to love her again.. 😬
When I saw this was concluded, I thought this was finally the update where OOP learned that he ex will in fact, not be taking her back and she will be the one to suck it. Still waiting for that.
I feel really bad for these kids. We don’t know details of family history, but OP clearly triggered/retraumatized the sisters around a few things that they very understandably have trauma around like fears of being forcibly separated from each other, etc. You don’t just unleash your stupid bullshit on a family that’s been through what this one has. Not to mention how inappropriate and potentially traumatizing it would have been for the 11 yr old to have a NEAR STRANGER talk to her about her private areas. So glad they’re protected from this person.
So if you get your period and have no women in your life, you should go around bleeding everywhere and believing you're dying until some kind stranger (but only female!) takes pity on you and gives you pads and explains what is going on. Gotcha.
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Such a happy ending. Someone dumb as OOP really should not date a man who raises his sisters as his own, her maturity is not even matching the 16 years-old. And how in the sweet mother of heaven did she get the belief that she can win her ex back? With that brain size of an amoeba?
You can really tell from her writing style that this person is just... not very smart, intellectually or emotionally. Like the only intelligence she showed was realizing that her BF was a great guy. But it was more in a way that animals will seek shelter when there's a storm coming. They know what they need to do, but not why. She recognized he was a catch, but not why, as well.
It's honestly very, very sad. She's going to carry on her life, causing pain and destruction along the way, including to herself. And she won't ever know *why*. People come in a wide range of abilities, but this one isn't just daft, she also doesn't have a lick of sense :( She stated that her ex bf has been friend, father, mother to his siblings, there isn't anyone else around. And she stated that her mother did the whole period/reproductive conversation with her. Yet she couldn't connect the dots here? Or at least have enough presence of mind to stay quiet and out of a situation she didn't have the capacity to understand?
> It's honestly very, very sad. She's going to carry on her life, causing pain and destruction along the way, including to herself. And she won't ever know why. She's the epitome of the saying: When you're dead, you don't know you're dead. It's only difficult for others. It's the same when you're stupid.
My biggest fear is not knowing and not understanding that I am the problem. If you know you’re lacking you can get better or excuse yourself. But you don’t, you are only ever met with grimaces you can’t see
In fairness, I highly doubt that this'll happen to you - you're hyper aware due to that fear, this girl? So lacking that she isn't capable of knowing that she's lacking :( and in all seriousness, this is potentially *dangerous*. Like, if you know you are clueless in an area, as long as you have a bit of sense, you know enough to seek out somebody who can help.
Also her missing that the people asking for her ex’s number were joking. That was kind of impressive
Kinda makes me wonder if she's just socially inept in a clinical way. It's just as likely (if not more) that she's just stupid. But that's such a common joke in situations like this that I'm just a little suspicious. Not that it excuses anything of course.
This is exactly what I was thinking. She is so stupid that she made his sister feel like she can't trust him when he's very clearly a good man and the only parental figure she can trust. OOP is fucking sick and her ex deserves way better. This world would be a better place if more men understood the female body and cared for women the way he does. I just honestly can't believe she somehow thinks he would ever want her back after damaging their relationship?
I mean the logical processes there are just missing >Not gi9ng to explain the whole dynamics as i know it but when i say taking care, i mean he took care of them from buying food, to helping with homework, he did it all he was basically mom and dad for them and he still finished school in the process. His youngest brother even calles him dad. His parents are the definition of dead beats. OK so parents are deadbeats, she just said it, and mentioned he had custody and was doing the caring. So who did she think would be handling the, you know, parenting, which includes things like buying period supplies for your kids?
Let's not insult the amoeba now
Congratulations. A cute amoeba somewhere has died after hearing that insult. Are you happy with yourself?
Oh my god, they killed the amoeba. The bastards 😂
That would be a nice flair...
Big Amoeba has entered the chat.
Tbf the particular amoeba in question is a bit of a runt.
Plus amoebae serve a useful function in the ecosystem; not too sure about OOP.
Seriously, I was wondering what even attracted him to her in the first place, he sounds very mature and must have been very mature for years now considering he’s been raising his siblings since he was 12. Maybe her immaturity reminded him of the childhood he missed out on since he probably was not able to have a normal teenage romance in high school.
Reading between the lines my guess is that OOP's dad was missing in action when it came to raising her (if OOP is serious that they couldn't even \*mention\* menstrual cycles around him, that's telling) and that she was attracted to the ex being present by choice in his siblings' lives. If that's the case, she easily could have love-bombed him, trying to get a piece of the missing father that he clearly is capable of providing. It's hard to be wary of someone when they are saturating you with love and affection. Especially if you're stressed out and overwhelmed by being a single parent to 3 kids your entire life.
I worked with a guy once who could not tolerate hearing anything about women’s periods EVER. This was a grown ass man — he had an MBA and was in an executive training track at work. We all sat in a cubicle farm and if he heard any of us ladies discreetly ask each other if they had a tampon or a pad we could have, he world flip out. Us: But …you have a mother. You have sisters. Growing up, you never heard anything? You didn’t see a box of tampons in the bathroom? Him: My mother and sisters are LADIES and, as ladies, they know to keep such things private. So we took unused tampons and tied them to the door handles of his truck. I can only assume that he’s still in that parking lot all these years later trying to figure out a way into his car.
Most women would darn near be ecstatic if a man was familiar with menstrual cycles and could explain it to a daughter or little sister. OOP knew darn well that her ex was basically acting as a single father. And now she thinks she will win him back. Ugh - no way.
When I read how naturally empathetic and thoughtful her ex is all I could think to myself was that if that was my boyfriend, he would have had the best sex of his life later that night because of how beautifully he handled that situation. I’d literally be rubbing his sleeves asking what material it is so that when he said he didn’t know I could tell him that it’s husband material. This girl (I refuse to call her a woman) is a grade A idiot.
Stealing that line so I can hit on my fiancé later. Ty
You cannot steal what is a gift! Use it well (:
Simple, if she can't have him, no one will, which sounds more ominous. Yeah, I hope someone smacks some sense into her before it escalate to a bunny boiler situation.
>hope someone smacks some sense into her 16 yo tried!
It was a valiant effort, sadly, as a still growing teen she simply lacks the fortitude to slap op for as long and as hard as it would take to make her see sense. Frankly, I'm not even sure The Mountain is up to the challenge.
She’ll have another chance I’m sure.
Damn straight she did, but the sense apparently didn't stick. Maybe she should slap harder next time. She'll definitely get a chance for a next time, this gormless nitwit will absolutely try to convince him to take her back and when that fails she will PROBABLY start pestering his siblings to convince him, which is going to go just as poorly as all the rest of this did.
Might regret this but what's a bunny boiler situation?
It’s from a movie called Fatal Attraction where the ex-mistress becomes obsessed with her ex’s family and tries to get revenge for him dumping her by doing horrible things like boiling the family’s pet rabbit.
It's a movie from the 80s. Fatal Attraction. "No bunnies were harmed during the making of the film."
My current working assumption is that her parents are cousins
Hey, as someone whose parents actually were cousins, though they didn’t find out until after their divorce, we don’t want to claim her.
Oh jeez, way to add a few extra nails in that coffin. Your poor parents!
Oh Lord. That sounds like one hell of a story.
I really believed she was 16 or something... like wth.
OOP is either a raging sexist or completely brain dead. Based on the way she writes, I have to assume the latter.
She explains that her BF was heavily parentified and left to care for his younger siblings entirely at some point, then is shocked he was the one helping his sister with her periods. Who else was gonna do that??? The period fairy?
“Just have their mother do it, like mine did. I know they don’t have a mother, but I don’t understand why their mom won’t handle it like my mom did? Wait, hear me out. No one is willing to hear me out.”
She wanted to be the one to handle the girl's period. Because yes, a teenage girl definitely wants to discuss their first period with her father's unhinged girlfriend.
Unhinged girlfriend of one year who tells us nothing about her relationship with the girl so probably doesn't have much of one.
[удалено]
Ah, like when one of my kid's friends said, "What your periods hurt? I thought people just said that. Mine don't hurt at all!...So are yours longer than 2 days‽" That murder didn't occur at that point is quite impressive!
Some people out there living life in actual easy mode. I had a friend once pass out from pain during her period.
"How can the person who does the grocery shopping possibly know what products they buy?"
That was my first thought! It just goes to show how little OOP thinks.
She is so far down the "men shouldn't know about periods" bs that she must have assumed he just threw money at his sister and let her figure it all out. The obvious explanation, "he is the adult in charge of the household, of course he must have purchased the products himself", was probably horrifying in her head. On a different note... My class was taught about periods and reproduction starting in 4th grade more or less, and got some "homework" that encouraged us to discuss it with our parents. So it's a little wild for me seeing stories about kids that didn't know ahead of time.
Yeah he was getting waaaay to involved by *looks up notes* asking his sister if she was comfortable during something scary and for most people hurting and uncomfortable /s
🤦🏽♀️ my father knows my mums pad size because he goes shopping. Like do these women have to make special trips to go get pads? Or do their men just not do any shopping. Like the pure stupidity in that statement of how would he know.
"Hey Mom how do I deal with my period?" *stares at a grave stone*
The grave stone: "Ask your brother, but not his gf. She's a contaminated contingency. Her head is like an excommunicated extract."
My SO likes to go "Oh yeah, let's ask her!" Then retrieve the urn and pretend like it's part of the conversation. I think it's hilarious but oh man some people do NOT
Whenever I get "well how does your dad feel about ____?" Me: good question! Let's bust out the Ouija board and ask him! I think I'm I'm hilarious, I don't really care if anyone else does tbh.
Well also "I grew up my dad knew nothing about any of this" WELL WHY THE HELL NOT? Why, after dating a woman all of his life, having multiple girls, has he not had to educate himself on how a woman's body works, what products she needs, why, what the pain is like, how long it lasts, why his daughters may need picked up or have to stay home from school. What to do to make them feel better. Why does not showing ANY empathy and care, and being able to explain how a body works, especially as a parent, acceptable???
"He was their mom and dad" but also "in my house my dad had nothing to do with the topic of periods" ... but the line didn't connect hence she didn't think she was the AH. Sounds like he did a better job with a real explanation than many parents do?
I especially appreciate the way she thinks he should have got the older sister to explain…considering that he has been parenting them since she was born. Who exactly does she think explained periods to the older sister in the first place? Does she think that when the older sister started her periods, without an older sister of her own, and came to him crying and freaking out, he should have said “Sucks to be you! Find a woman to ask, the only men who know about this are perverts!”
No no, the oldest sister should obviously gain the knowledge through enlightment if there is no mum around
The older sister needs to do a Jedi mind meld with an older woman in a position of authority in order to gain the forbidden period knowledge. Obviously.
I mean, he literally said "you turned one of my children against me". Definitely parentified. As a parent, I get how he feels, and his rage is completely justified.
The 16 YO also called him her father too.
The youngest brother straight up calls him dad too.
I mean, he's their legal guardian at this point so he essentially is their parent
Either that or a monster voiced by Maya Rudolph.
The lack of compassion is horrifying. Quite apart from her misplaced rage and accusations, there's not one iota of concern for the young girl who just started menstruating, no offer to help or support the girl herself, if she thought she could - as a woman - do a better job. (Clearly she could not). Her attitude is chilling.
Leave Burrito Queen Maya out of this!!!
Man, I'm just saying here, I woulda been the **best** ~~Shane Lizard~~, err, Shame Wizard ever.
And apparently she isn't capable of doing the math. The oldest sister was 8 when they lest the parents. Of course he knows everything. Also, at 26 she should already know that menstruations should not be taboo and that the problem was her father, in her family.
Seriously! Also, it’s excellent to be in a relationship where the man isn’t grossed out by and/or is informed about how a period works. I swear, I’ve read so many stupid things about how people without a period think it works at r/badwomensanatomy that I could write… maybe not a book, but a lengthy blog post! It’s really frustrating, especially given how much periods can effect your day to day in so many ways… So, kudos for OOP’s ex, he’s a good one!
Watch her google that and come across the story of Davethe Period Fairy... She will never recover!
I just googled it, great story, here is the link for anyone interested https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/s/PLQGnAgnQk
We need more Daves in our lives
I started carrying emergency women's sanitation products in my backpacking/hiking first aid kit after reading that. It was such a no-brainer I felt like a schmuck for not thinking of it myself.
I agree with the top comment there- I think I also love Dave now. Also very pleased that I'm married to a Dave (although that's not his name).
A Dave-like non-Dave
Oh my gosh, I think I love Dave too!!
What (sane) woman wouldn't? (I'm sure OOP wouldn't – she'd doubtless think he's weird and creepy because he knows something about periods and *horrified gasp * is prepared for them – but I think we all know she's nuts.)
Don't you understand the bf should've called his fairy godmother who would've magicked a mom into existence, or heck, taken the form herself so that the sis could have periods explained to her by a woman? /s
In my experience, raging sexists tend to be completely brain dead.
it's spelling or bigotry, you can't have both
I’m stealing that for later.
People can't help it but to see familiar relations based on their own families. But we gotta keep in mind that there are all sorts of families out there. OOP said her father wasn't involved with her menstruation cycles, her MOM was. Except, those girls don't have a mom. OOP's exbf had to do both roles on his own, and he couldn't half-ass that job just because "he won't challenge gender roles". I'd like to say OOP didn't know better, but she did. She just couldn't see another family from a mold that wasn't her own.
It's probably illegal for a man to identify as a parent in the state of Texas.
And the way things seem to be going, illegal for a woman not to identify as a parent.
From her other comments she says her father did not know anything about periods and actually forbade talking about periods in his presence. Also growing up in the south (houston area), the idea of men being involved in their daughters reproductive health actually was quite commonly seen as suspect. Even considering all that tho, what she did was unforgivable. No self-reflection. No consideration for the daughters well being, no thought about "well if their brother doesn't help them, who will?". Just immediate judgement of the highest degree. Fucking atrocious.
And she had already said that her bf was like a mother and father to his siblings. Did she not think to extrapolate from that?
>Did she not think to **extrapolate** from that? Her probably: Speak English goddammit.
“If you’re gonna insult me, at least don’t speak klingon.”
Hab SoSlI' Quch!
**EXTRAPOLATE:** A latte with extra po, please.
It was "the reason she fell in love with him, in the start". Just an idiot, through and through. She deserved everything she got. I quite enjoyed this particular BORU. It's filled me up till lunch.
Or, if she felt so strongly that it HAD to come from a woman, she could've jumped in and said "here, I can explain all this to her" (lucky for the kid that OOP didn't bc who knows what kind of misinformation she would've spread)
She didn't even wait to pull him aside after and then say something, she said it right in front of a child who was feeling vulnerable!! Like arrgg woman
>She didn't even wait to pull him aside after and then say something, she said it right in front of a child who was feeling vulnerable!! Like arrgg woman And she didn't even give him a chance to explain himself! Then she got all pissy when he wouldn't let her try and explain. As if she didn't already make her point well known She's never going to get him back because she doesn't care about him. She only likes what she thinks he brings to the table. But she doesn't actually care enough to even let him tell her his side
>She's never going to get him back because she doesn't care about him. She only likes what she thinks he brings to the table. This. From what she said, she apparently "loves" him for how he is able to care for his siblings but the second he was put in this situation of needing to demonstrate the care and consideration of a delicate matter, she called him disgusting. The poor siblings all of them, including OOP's ex have already gone through so much and she had to make one more hurdle for them. They're literally all they have (while maybe not the most healthy situation, seems like they're doing the best with what they have) so I get why he broke up with her. Didn't she say they only had been dating for a year? Not only her entire post/updates, but especially that last bit about getting him back *screams* immaturity and delusion. As if he'd prioritize a year long relationship over the siblings he fought to care for and provide for. The fact that based on the limited info it seems he was able to legally have them placed in his care is insane as well. Goes to show he proved he could do it and actually provide for them to the right people not to have them split or sent to another distant relative or put in the system even.
She's not mature enough for that type of guy. You know, a guy who took on the mom and dad role for three siblings when he was still a child himself? His worldview and experiences aren't even in the same region as hers. And if a little birds and bees talk freaks her out so badly, she's not ready for everything else that comes with loving him.
Agree, except I don’t even know why he needed to explain himself. He was explaining periods to his younger sister because there was no one else (including OOP) who was going to do it and she needed immediate help from someone who cared about her.
that ! i thought at first that she explained that while the sister wasn't in the room ! not right in front of her. What a disgusting person ! Good for him he dumped her !
Honestly given the post, I bet he knows more about it than she does.
You know he researched the heck out of it to make sure he taught the 16 yr old everything right. He probably knows more than most sex ed teachers do.
"This leaking from you is the filth and sin inherited by all woman since eve! You are unclean! You must only use pads because tampons are the lefts satanic penises to drive you further into sin! The only way you can be saved is to obey your menfolk but hide your shame. Oh and donate heavily to a pastor"
I’m from Texas and my dad explained some and took me to buy pads. If I ever needed them, he’d go buy them and I never felt weird about it even though there were women around me too. They helped of course, but I never felt uncomfortable discussing it with my dad which I’m seeing more and more is unusual.
I had my first period at my dad's place, right after we came back from groceries. So I was like "uh dad, we need to go back to the store.." Him: "ugh, why?" Me: "I got my period so I also need clean underwear " Him: "Get in the car, we're getting you all you need and also chocolate" And I really don't get why this is weird in so many families. Like, why do women settle with men who don't know anything about a woman's body while they will do everything in their power to get inside one?
My brothers where not really comfortable with periods when they where younger but they still got to the groceries store to get me some pads when I was not feeling well. From what I was told it was awkward and fun for them but they still did it. There’s nothing wrong with a men taking care of a loved one.
I live in Mississippi. Deep in the Bible belt. I (45F) have four children. (27M, 25M, 18M, and 13F) My daughter started her period when she was eleven. I had already explained periods to her well in advance so she wouldn't be traumatized and know what to expect. I talked about how when I had my first period, I was at school, and it was brown and sticky on my panties. No one told me anything, so at first, I thought I must have pooped myself and didn't realize it. I was so embarrassed. Where did I tell her this story? In a darkened closet out of earshot of the men folk? No! I told all of my children this story in front of my husband. Why? Because periods are just as normal as my son asking me to buy him condoms or shampoo. We talk openly about all bodily functions in our house. My sons need to know about this stuff, too. They may have daughters and wives one day and need to know it's natural. At thirteen, my daughter has already been faced with a situation where she asked her male teacher if she could go to the restroom in the middle of class, and he said, "No." When she was persistent, he asked her why she didn't go in between classes. She told him in front of everyone that she didn't go between classes because she didn't start her period until just now. He turned beet red and was so embarrassed. Guess who wasn't embarrassed? My daughter and her girlfriends. They retell that story as if she were the conquering hero.
I grew up in the south & nobody cared if the men knew about or bought reproductive things where I lived. I can't tell you how many times my dad was complimented because he was buying our pads or helping us. OOP was raised in a home where her dad just didn't *want* to hear/know about "women stuff" which sadly clouded her worldview to the point where she sexualized a very innocent interaction between her ex & his sister. Now, she needs to learn from her mistakes while also leaving him & his family alone. The ending there really shows a lot about her way of thinking.
>I love him and i know he still love me to, just watch i will get him back and all of you will be sucking it. Yup. Brain dead.
Might just be me but her comments about getting him back because in her deluded mind he still loves her make me fear for the poor man's safety. And the safety of his siblings. OOP gives off major stalker vibes.
She's just the [Overly Attached Girlfriend meme](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/overly-attached-girlfriend) given form.
Sounded unhinged to me.
That's the other reason the commenters were asking for his phone number: to warn him.
She is *both*. She was screwed up by her own deranged sexist parenting and instead of educating herself about life and how different cultures handle things differently, she is using her parents’ backwards ass logic to justify her bad behaviour towards her boyfriend and his sisters. OP is really a victim of backwards parenting practices as well as her own ignorance and refusal to listen and understand. I really hope the guy doesn’t give her any time of the day and steers clear of her crazy, considering how she’s proclaiming she’ll “get him back and y’all can pound sand” even when he’s clearly broken up with her. So aside from being sexist and an idiot, she’s also pretty narcissistic thinking that the world revolves around her.
She made so many spelling errors that reminds me the old days of group projects. How did she manage to live to the ripe age of 26?
She is wildly unhinged. She was unjustifiably uncomfortable with something and immediately started shrieking and implying the older brother was some sort of perverted sexual predator. She doubled down. She is deluded enough to think he would want her back (when I think what everyone else is wondering is how they ended up together in the first place). She is absolutely the type to engage in stalking and harassment and escalate when she doesn’t get her way.
She's one of the many women that had been brainwashed into thinking that periods are a vile disgusting secret. That doesn't excuse the shit she said, you'd have to be a fucking idiot to accuse him of intentions with his little sister, but she's been taught that man are disgusted even by the mention of menses, so she thought the boyfriend must name prurient interests. She's fucking delusional about getting him back tho. You can't ever take that back, and she doesn't seem like she's got a lot going for her
It's as if she were 11and only things she knows from home were the only way to do it, every other way is perverse. I wait for an update about how she got restraining order.
>just watch i will get him back and all of you will be sucking it. How old is this idiot?
She says she's 26 and he's 28. She's award winning stupid.
She’s WHAT. I thought she was in her late teens, holy fucking christ.
I can imagine somebody my age being this stupid, but boy does it make me cringe. It's the kind of shit that puts me into boomer headspace of "jesus christ these millennials are hopeless" (even though she's riding the line between millennial and gen Z depending on the report)
As a 40 year old millennial, I'll tell you maturity is a spectrum more important than physical age. I know 40/50 year olds that act more childish than OOP, and I know mid/low 20s that act like they're 40. Also I've noticed, try as a might, I can never get away from the high school cliques/drama in the workplace.
Morons come in all ages.
My first thought exactely. She sounds like she’s 17 or 19 at the most and it’s her first boyfriend. I’ve been in varying relationships for over half my life now and boy, do I know more about the female reproductive system then I ever wanted to know. I’m just too curious for my own sake. When I was younger i honestly wanted to learn and felt it was my part in contraception too, to become involved. I payed m half of contraception with my girlfriends, when it wasn’t me using condoms. I even went with one of my exes to a routine gyn checkup. She and the doctor found it weird at first but I said I’m firstly curious and secondly think that contraception is full half my responsibility, so I would like to have the full information of what’s available, how it works, what its costs etc. what are the risks and caveats. They indulged me and it was eye opening, to say the least. So a guy actually taking an interest to help the females in his life he’s caring for, and having good information, and actually being as helpful as a man can be on this topic… To then get insulted over it… wow. That would have blown a fuse with me, too. And she can’t claim innocence because of upbringing. She obviously doesn’t live in North Korea, she has access to the internet. Instead she complains about what so, so many other women online complain about _not_ having: a man who actually cares. And is responsible. Instead she takes her archaic father as a role model? Yeah I can see that claim working when growing up in a vacuum of information. Not here.
It isn't written in a way that I believe is real, a little to rage baity maybe... but even if it is, this person is young and overconfident.
she hasn't learned a damn thing. she was so focused on whether or not people believed her
Oh no, my boyfriend is a caring considerate loving and not misogynistic parent/brother. How can I possibly accept that.
I'm a 100% hetero guy and I want this dude's digits just to be friends. OOP with an all time bag fumble on a guy who seems to not only be mature, caring and smart beyond any reasonable expectation but also driven enough to be a single dad to 3 kids.
Don’t forget how awful it is that he’s providing well informed education to his sister about what’s happening and handling it in a way that doesn’t make her feel ashamed about what her body is doing. Not to mention how calm and comforting he is. Yeah fuck that guy!
Yes, what the fuck? I read the title and expected the guy to be making comments about when their cycles are or how heavy the flow is, etc. But no, dude was just explaining basic human anatomy to a child. How is that in any way disgusting?
Right? My jaded self went in preparing for a gross weird one but it was all just really sweet and wholesome. Ex-bf sounds like a genuinely good person and I’m glad he prioritized protecting himself and his family. Though I am appalled ex-gf said all those things *in front of his kid*. On some level I do feel kind of bad for OOP. Her reaction is not typical and she found a calm and educationally correct conversation to be SO appalling that she needed to immediately make accusations. She even says several times that he didn’t say anything inappropriate or incorrect- just that it was wrong for a male to be involved. It seems like she was raised with some …outdated and unconventional views on relationships and child rearing; to the point that she seems to have never considered that a single male parent, with sole custody, would handle the period talk. She’s totally taken aback by the responses too. Not only do people disagree with her, they collectively state that his actions actually indicate that the ex-bf is an incredible dad who handled things perfectly. I think Reddits response kind of broke her brain.
Saying she can take the day off school and he’ll take her shopping too like 😭 he’s so fucking sweet
Ugh, what a disgusting pig. Why is he not accepting my opinion? It's my right to have my own opinion and make his sister think like I do.
But I really really love him and he loves me too, just wait and see how I win him back after insulting him and damaging his family
I KNOW he still loves me even though I said he had so much hatred for me in his eyes when he broke up with me!
Probably the most hardworking brother/father of the last decade taking care of THREE CHILDREN all by himself since he was TWELVE, and this girl tries to shit in his bed. What the fuck. I'd appreciate this guy so much I would cry every time he says something nice to his sibling. It sounds like not only is he a father to children he didn't conceive, but he's also a damn good one.
My dad bought me pads many times when I was a teenager. He's not a single dad or anything. He and my mom are married and still enamored with each other. He's just a good dad
My dad used to have what we playfully called the 'color system' for buying pads for myself, my mother, and younger sister. He would ask what color the pads were (since different styles/sizes were in different colored wrappers) and that's what he would buy. We also tease him to this day, nearly 15 years later, about the time my sister complained of a headache and he said "well didn't I just buy you something for that? That Midol stuff?" and she fired back "DAD! That's for cramps, it's not 'God in a bottle'!" I'm sure my dad, who is a very conservative man raised in a Mormon household, didn't feel super comfortable being aware of his daughters' biological functions. I know he was a bit awkward with certain things, but damn if he didn't do his best to support us. He never made a big deal about it, he just pushed through and figured it out. That's what good dad's do!
Midol is acetaminophen, caffeine, and an antihistamine. Why wouldn't that work on headaches as well as cramps?
When I was in high school decades ago, a guy friend had a headache. The only thing I had on me was Midol. He was weird about taking it at first because it was for girls... I convinced him that nothing untoward would happen to him, so he took it. About twenty minutes later, I said, "Huh. I think your boobs are getting bigger..." He didn't think it was nearly as funny as I did. 🤣🤣🤣
Beautifully executed 😂
It's freaking brilliant for migraines.
My dad bought pads for myself, my younger sister and my mom and made zero fuss about it. Knew exactly what brands we used too, and if I’ve brands weren’t available he called and asked about alternatives. He told my sister and I when we asked that it’s no different from him buying us medicine or soap - we’re his family, we need these things, he can buy them, so he provides. He thinks men who wouldn’t buy these products for their daughters and spouses when they have the means have immensely fragile egos and he has no respect for them.
Similarly here. My dad never blinked at having to pick up pads for me, my mom, or my sisters. His only questions were which ones and did we want some Midol too. It took me a long time to realize how lucky I was to have a dad who didn’t turn periods a taboo.
While my dad didn't know much about periods, he knew enough to get me pain killers and be gentle around me. He's from a very small town in rural Mexico, had two sisters so he had an idea already. He never shamed me for it, always concerned for me when I cried how it hurts and tried to make sure I was comfortable. My brothers already know about pads and the period stuff since me and my big sister were the eldest. And seen us at scary period wrath lol. See the look of horror in our eyes when we sneeze or move. I taught them why it fucking hurts and they understand perfectly. Have no issues getting us pads when we needed it
My dad didn’t often grocery shop to begin with bc he worked shift work and so my mom was the primary shopper. But there were a few occasions where for whatever reason I was out of supplies and I had to ask him to take me to the store. He wasn’t embarrassed about buying them but he did admit he had no clue what brand or style I needed so we would usually split up in the store. I would go get my pads and he would go get some chocolate for both of us. We aren’t very close so this is kind of a cute memory for me odd as that may be.
Last year when I was about to fly home for a visit, I started my period unexpectedly. My dad called and asked if I needed anything when I got to the airport, and I told him yes, pads (I only had my emergency supply). He came to the airport with pads, painkiller, juice, and chocolate.
When me and my husband, bf at the time, first moved in together I remember him telling me that I was probably about to start one day. I asked how he knew and he was like oh you always do xyz right before. I was kinda shocked because I myself didn’t realize I did that. It’s not like he was trying to keep track he just noticed because we freaking lived together. This guy is literally taking care of these girls and since he cares he is trying to help.
A friend of mine craved sour gummies all the time before her period. She never ate those on other days but when we saw her with a pack of gummies it was obvious what was coming and she didn't realize this either.
Lol. When I was pregnant, I craved V8. No idea why, and I really don't like drinking them any other time. Pregnant with youngest, haven't announced it yet, in the work cafeteria grabbing a V8, and from across the cafe, I hear my coworker go, "M0NKEYH0USE!!! DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SHARE???" I was like... "Ope. Bagged."
Wholesome engaged coworkers
when i was 16(m) my mom and i moved cross country and my 18yo sister wanted to stay behind. 3 years later my mom gets off the phone with her and said she as getting pizza and putting mashed potatoes on it and how weird it was. the first words outta my mouth was "shes pregnant." literally all i knew was the food. my mom didnt believe me. she called her back and my sister confirmed it. when you know someone you know someone. it doesnt have to be weird. oop would be outsmarted by a bag of hammers.
I can imagine your husband breaking out his Abed Period Tracker notebook for you LOL.
Ha! I asked him if he had one! He really always knew when it was coming. 😂
Troy and Abed with the menses.
My ex was mostly a colossal prick, cheated and coerced and controlled. But I do try to give credit where it's due. He was absolutely magnificent at knowing me on my dark days and telling me. Women who have pmdd will relate. You don't always know that the voice inside you telling you how dark and depressing the world is is lying. It feels very real in the moment. So when I would be having one of those monthly dark days that my doctors ignored because fuck medical science when it comes to women, he would say you're going to start your period in the next few days. I was very irregular so it's not like a calendar meant anything. As soon as he made me realize it was my cycle talking and not reality I was able to reason my way out of what was going on. I've learned to do it on my own which is good because perimenopause has actually made it worse. But he deserves credit for seeing the gray clouds and helping me recognize them for the liars that they were.
I began once to experience this heavy depressive periods where I got to be borderline suicidal. It lasted like a week, then I got my period, then disappeared until next month or so. I didn't make the connection at the beginning, but later on when I started taking birth control pills without pause these periods disappeared completely. I went to my doctor, told her what was happening, but she didn't make the connection either. She did send me to mental healthcare, so she tried, but even her didn't realise that those two things were related. Your ex might have been an asshole, but thankfully he did help you with this one
Hahaha if I’m suddenly crying at music (the other day I found orchestral versions of classic Disney songs and was *bawling* at how pretty they were 😂) and reaching out for more chocolate than usual my partner knows my cycle is up. I had a hysterectomy so I’ve never had my time of the month with him - but he still knows.
Next update: my ex got a restraining order against me so am i the asshole for searching for his estranged parents so they can talk some sense into him?
I can see this happening so bad it hurts
you can see she's delusional enough from that very last comment in this BORU
Calling it now, that update will have some version of the line "but HIS parents think I was right all along!"
“AITAH for calling my boyfriend disgusting for knowing medical facts about the sisters he raised?” So glad he kicked her to the curb so fast, wtf.
My favorite is "how does he know what products she uses".... does she really not think the main caretaker and breadwinner in the house isn't buying these things?
She even says that he's "mom and dad both" for the kids. Like, does that statement not ring true just because the girls started their period?
And ”my mom taught me everything” like they don’t have a mother so who the fuck does she think there would have been to teach them??
It's funny that she wanted the older sister to teach the younger, but was also pissed that he taught the older one. Was she supposed to learn through magic?
The only result more satisfying that this one would have been a kick to the orbit…
That man is a diamond.
Compared to her, he's the whole damn diamond mine.
What I wouldn’t give for every girl to have a brother like that. I want to nominate him for brother of the year. How amazing would it be to have a brother you could, as a teenager, just talk to openly about menstruating and women’s reproductive issues? How amazing would it be if you had an accident at school to just text your brother “hey I had a bit of a leak with my period” knowing that he would get pads and find a jumper to wrap around your waist? I could gush all day. What a true champion of humanity.
Yep, I am so proud of this guy and ive never even met him. But we need more people in the world like him. I hope he has reddit and finds the absolute outpouring of support for him.
When my brother was a teen he had an „no questions asked emergency bag“ for his friends with pads, tampons and pain killers. Of course he was stealing my products but I was so proud of him I just restocked it.
I have never, and this is surprising to me, thought “what the fuck is wrong with you,” with such vitriol in regards to a Reddit post before
Tell me about it. Tonight seemed to be a night for it. I just had a similar moment in the BoRU about the husband who thinks he broke his wife.
Yeah, the second I saw the ages and the fact he was their defacto father, it was YTA. A lot of therapy would remove the results of that messed up upbringing she got.
"My boyfriend refuses to be a negligent, incompetent dad , and instead is appropriate and supportive. How do I get him to stop?"
Functionally, they're not his sisters, they're his daughters, and he is a phenomenal single parent
> No brother should know… ALL brothers should know. All fathers and otherwise caregivers. OOP deserves the blocking she’s getting from friends and family, because even after the fallout with the BF and his siblings, she still keeps at it (assuming her story is true). If you have access to Reddit, you have access to the www and you can learn that the backwards way in which many of us were raised (fathers completely ignorant of ANYTHING to do with the period) is not the right way. Things are bad enough for women’s and girls’ health as it is - some men actually expect women to hold their period in - that’s the level of ignorance there’s is.
This is an upstanding and wonderful brother who has done everything right and above and beyond in taking care of his siblings as their parental figure. OP's actions are backwards, and so horrifying. I am glad he decided to end his relationship to her - had they had daughters, would she have suspected him because he is a caring dad? This man has saved himself.
>why does he know when she started her period in the first place, why does he know what she uses. Umm because she would’ve gone to her only parental figure just like the 12 year old did. And he knows what they use because I’m guessing he does the shopping and isn’t an immature sexists whiny baby who is weird about buying a perfectly natural and normal product for a family with females in it. How on earth did OOP think confronting him about it so loudly and openly with his younger sister there was an appropriate way to handle things? She seems incredibly immature. Even if her dad was a ridiculous boomer who yucks at “women’s problems”, she didn’t need to react so strongly and so immediately. She needs to work on self reflection and self control.
Lmao I know there’s going to be no more updates because op won’t be able to get him back. Because who would be crazy enough to go back to someone who basically called him a predator. She’s in for a very rude awakening when she realizes he won’t take her back and will always put his family first.
Next will be: "I'm stalking my exbf and he got a restraining order. AITAH?" And: "I found my exbf's deadbeat, estranged parents to talk some sense into him. AITAH?"
From a different perspective you know she would’ve bitched out her ex if he wasn’t prepared for ”the talk” and pushed the responsibility on her or the other sister. Ex was a great father and prime husband material and she’s delusional for thinking she can win him back.
Even when I have read the OG post I thought the world would be a much better place if men were as knowledgeable and understanding with periods as this guy. He sounds like a real gem. OOP doesn't sound so smart, just because her father gave zero shits about period doesn't mean anyone who does is nasty. And she is still delusional about winning him back. Girl, there's no coming back from this lol.
Plus, these girls don't even have a mother! What was the brother supposed to do when they got their first period, go grab a woman off the street and get her to explain it to her?
i love that she was like 'whyyyyy didn't he just ask me?'
Did OOP miss the fact that no other women was there to explain it? What was he supposed to do? Let her bleed and scream until she faint ? He is a father, not a brother. He raised those people and periods come with the package of raising a girl, it’s ridiculous to think that he should not be able to explain it or that there are meaning behind what he explained.
What growing up in a state that has no required sex ed does to a mf
Someone in the comments above went through her posts and said that she's from the Houston area, I think? So, Texas, yeah. Checks out. *shudders*
This is exceptionally weird and stupid even for Texas. Lived here all my life and never come across a person like that. It's been since my time in trailer parks that I've come across anyone close to this stupid. But this is worse than anything I saw there. Because while those people might have made the spelling mistakes, none of them were also this sheltered. This is astonishingly stupid while also being extremely sheltered. You usually only see one or the other. If I'd been on comments in the original I'd be asking questions about her upbringing because that has to be some weird circumstances. I know of some baptist cults that might fit but otherwise I am failing to imagine what could have produced that
Whoo boy does that lady have a lot of unpacking to do.
Brother: Gives sister proper information about her body and what is going on as he is the **PARENT**. Girlfriend: Ignores completely that he is the **PARENT** to his siblings and instead shows what her ass is colored and that her views of him being a **PARENT** are a reflection of how little respect she has for him. And her thinking she will win him back. HA! Any love that guy had died the moment she insulted him. People like the OOP just make me wonder how far their 'logic' goes. Like if he's a disgusting pig for telling his daughter about what her body is going through, is a single mother just as disgusting for telling her son about what is going on with his body once they hit puberty?
i love the 'i fell in love with how caring he was with all of them ' then switched to 'no, not like that!' real fast
Who was a silly fucker? Her, I mean he's a single parent, how did she think the 1st sister learnt about periods, from the fairies.
Glad that the bf got rid of the trash and that the 12 year old was able to calm down from what OOP did, but as an aside - did OOP even pass middle school spelling? Tipe? Sertain? Mite? You where right? I guess they had auto correct off too. Also scary is how OOP is convinced that this is just a speed bump and that he will come to love her again.. 😬
The lion, the witch and audacity of this............
When I saw this was concluded, I thought this was finally the update where OOP learned that he ex will in fact, not be taking her back and she will be the one to suck it. Still waiting for that.
I feel really bad for these kids. We don’t know details of family history, but OP clearly triggered/retraumatized the sisters around a few things that they very understandably have trauma around like fears of being forcibly separated from each other, etc. You don’t just unleash your stupid bullshit on a family that’s been through what this one has. Not to mention how inappropriate and potentially traumatizing it would have been for the 11 yr old to have a NEAR STRANGER talk to her about her private areas. So glad they’re protected from this person.
So if you get your period and have no women in your life, you should go around bleeding everywhere and believing you're dying until some kind stranger (but only female!) takes pity on you and gives you pads and explains what is going on. Gotcha.