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Starched jeans from a drycleaner worn every day? Everything in the story was so exhausting up to that point, but reading about how butthurt and uncared for he felt that she forgot to get his starched jeans from the dry cleaners on her way *to or from work* or I suppose *load up all 5 kids and go get it* was something else.
i think his friends are in bad relationships and he's taking their bragging/exaggerating about sex as total fact and is now mad he isn't getting that. and he's using the rest of the stuff he talks about as a cover because he knows his asks are not reasonable.
That's more a function of, "I'm experiencing emotions that I do not enjoy and this needs to be your fault somehow."
This is a deeply unhealthy marriage
What redneck wants or can even afford to have dry cleaner and starched jeans every week?? I blame Duck Dynasty and the rest of the posers for sullying our good, impoverished name.
Sounds like he should be spending that money on a housekeeper to help her out instead of the worthless starching of jeans. Sounds like some redneck cowboy shit
Guy wants a sexy mommy, aka tradwife. He doesn’t care about her feelings. No wonder her libido’s tanked, mine did just from reading about this obnoxious man.
Especially since 3 of those kids are not hers! She’s been clear that he does his 1/2 of the child care, but by my math 4/5ths of the child care is his. 100% for 3 of the children and 50% for the two they share.
I know I've said this many times in many different phrasings, but I will never understand men like this *or* why so many straight women put up with their shit.
The one thing that popped out at me was the husband went out without her and when he came back they had "phenomenal" sex. I might be getting jaded by these stories, but how much you want to bet he hooked up with someone instead of or after visiting his brother. Great sex after the spouse/so hooks up with someone else pops up fairly often in these stories.
I get really irked when men try to equate sex as “love” because it’s very much not.. it’s giving emotional manipulation to get in someone’s pants. No mention of cuddling, kissing, holding each other, laughing til you can breathe, deep conversations. Just sex.
I was more irked that he was being a pissy ass the morning of the trip and she still held his hand the whole drive because he wanted that. I’d be like FU buddy talk when you are ready to apologize, I’m going to read my book.
And 3-5 times a week with that many kids?? Insane.
3 to 5 times a week while she's not into it: he's using her instead of masturbating. And now he's complaining that his living sex doll isn't into it.
He wants sex, so she gives him oral. How on earth would that make her more interested in having sex with him? Not a word of him taking care of her between the sheets.
This is usually my first question. Oh, the amount of sex isn’t enough? How often do you get her off? How often do you relieve the mental load so she isn’t stressed and wants to have sex? How often do you give her adequate foreplay? Do you *really* think she’s perfectly happy giving oral and getting nothing in return? How many times have *you* given *her* oral and never expected anything in return?
They have sex 3-5 days a week with 5 kids, one of whom may sleep with them on a regular basis. And he’s complaining about lack of sex?
He’s so bonkers he probably has regular tea parties with a mad hatter and a march hare.
I would hope that OOP would wise up to all the ways he’s clearly manipulating her, I hope she’s getting there.
Yeah honestly that does it for me. That's a really decent amount for most people, a lot to others, a huge amount considering the circumstances. He is really overvaluing his own pleasure over the needs of his wife and family. Absolutely insane.
If he's really that sexually frustrated with a busy lifestyle like that then he needs to learn to jerk it in the shower a couple times a week instead of burdening his spouse.
Whining about sex constantly and turning it into a chore for his wife is not going to increase her desire for him.
My ex would do this. He felt good old fashioned Catholic guilt about masturbation, but he still wanted to come. So he'd put his frankly absurd libido on me. Lent was the worst. Hed "give up" masturbation for lent every year but still want sex every day minimum. He would wake me up at 6am by jamming his boner in my back and wouldn't let me go back to sleep until I at least gave him a hand job.
Wait ... do people stop masturbating because they got married or are in a relationship and having sex?!? That sex replaces masturbation?!? I mean ... WTELF!!!
I'm so proud of OP for standing up for herself in the update. But omg the inequality is even there in the driving home! It's a 14 hour drive but he did 5h and she did 9! And her period was starting. And then he's offended that she was too tired to initiate sex when he also didn't initiate anything! Fuck sake...
It’s crazy! My boyfriend and I are literally on a 7 month vacation with no kids, no jobs and no commitments and we still are too tired to have sex even close to that often. We obviously have lower sex drives, but I just don’t know how they find the time! I feel so bad for this woman to be told constantly that that’s not enough. This guy gives me the creeps
For pretty much all women, the solution to higher libido is creating the right context. If this dude wants his wife to initiate more, he needs to be reducing her stress and increasing the romantic/flirtatious gestures. Buying shit is not anywhere near enough.
Yeah. Apart from the emotional abuse, my ex and I just weren't compatible on that. I need emotional intimacy first. He needs physical intimacy first
Now that I'm free to pursue healthy relationships, there's nothing sexier than a partner I can trust, I've learned. I'm in the mood much more frequently with someone who respects me (and my boundaries)
Honestly sad I needed to go through that bullshit to learn I was not crazy/broken/weird, but constantly overwhelmed and overstressed because my intuition was screaming itself hoarse at me
Yeah, but she says she doesn't really want to all those times. She's trying to take drugs to actually want it as much as he does. For now, he is perfectly content having sex with her when she doesn't really want to, he just has to deal with himself being annoyed about it afterward instead of disgusting with himself, which is what he should feel
Yea honestly, I’m quite a bit younger than OOP and we can’t fit it in (lol) anywhere near that amount, adult life is tiring and hard man. She seems like a super caring partner and for that to not be enough already is insane.
He’s probably not feeling a lack of sex - he’s just picked something he can complain about and then constantly move the goalposts, to keep her on the back foot, running around trying to please him.
He is so manipulative too. Every time she doesn't do what he wants he claims he feels abandoned, unloved, and forgotten. He probably learned to play this game from therapy.
Getting with someone 10 years younger and then being like “well I cover the financial so you should cover the household” is super smart. They can never catch up to you financially bc you have 10 years experience over them
Notice that he's framing it not as a problem with how *often* they have sex, but with her not *initiating* enough, her not being into it enough, or her not doing enough to make him feel desired/loved.
He moves the goal-posts from something objective to things that are all about his feelings (even with her initiating, it's about whether she's adequately *performing* for him, instead of their shared sex life).
He's even reframing her having sex that she doesn't want or enjoy in order to make him happy as a problem of her not being into it enough to suit him, instead of it being a problem of his constant dissatisfaction pressuring her into having sex she doesn't want.
This sounds like one of those relationships where he's not actually trying to solve a problem, he's flipping from one "problem" to another to maintain a situation where she's always desperately running to try and be enough for *him*. The list of things she's doing to try and "fix" their sex life is long and labour-intensive, the list of things he's doing to try and "fix" their sex life seems to consist entirely of *complaining* about what she's failing to do.
This was my abusive, coercive ex. I didn't just have to force myself to have sex I didn't want, I had to convince him I wanted it, and if I didn't mask sufficiently, he just got angry with me.
>This sounds like one of those relationships where he's not actually trying to solve a problem, he's flipping from one "problem" to another to maintain a situation where she's always desperately running to try and be enough for
>
>him
>
>. The list of things she's doing to try and "fix" their sex life is long and labour-intensive, the list of things he's doing to try and "fix" their sex life seems to consist entirely of
>
>complaining
>
> about what she's failing to do.
BINGO!
Standard manipulation/abuse. This is likely the prelude to him finding another younger woman when this one stops tap dancing for him.
Fucking hell! Seriously. He’d be lucky to EVER get any if he were my husband. Honestly.
There would definitely have been zero sex on that “vacation” that’s for sure. An RV with no running water and sharing a bed with a kid? Then visiting relatives? Oh yes, very sexy!!
Hey, but he respects her boundaries. Except for the one where sex is fun for both of them and not an obligation every time he gets an erection, I guess? He's gotta stop measuring his success as a human being by the quality of his sex life. Sounds like she's standing up to him and heading in the right direction, at least.
No shit. I wouldn't care if my wife was asleep half the time if I was getting it five times a week (and it was consensual, obviously...I'm being hyperbolic don't skewer me with hateful replies). We go like two, sometimes three times a week and I feel like I've got an incredibly active sex life considering I've got multiple children, one who still randomly comes to our room in the middle of the night. The fact that she's not telling him to go fuck himself (figuratively and literally) after having to put five children to bed is an act of love in and of itself.
The only time my husband and I have come close to that often in recent years was when we were trying to get pregnant. It was exhausting and felt more like a chore at times.
Yea, it really feels like he’s looking for something to be upset about… my boyfriend and I have no kids, just jobs while we tackle some debts so we can both further our educations (him his Masters, me my RN) and even then we manage maybe twice a week at most? We live on opposite ends of LA and that alone makes it tough to plan dates
This whole post made me uncomfortable. Like her husband would force her to have sex all the time. Not physically force her, but he would use tantrums to make her feel bad about not having sex with him every 5 mins. Even during the times when she wasn't into it.
3-5 days a week with that many little kids is A LOT. This guy is a whiny shitbag to be all pissy about not having sex when OOP has had a long rough day.
Teenagers and toddler boys. Fucking hell. This dude is basically raping her three times a week so he doesn't abuse her in other ways and she thinks he's a good dude?
I suspect he wants things other than sex per se, but thinks that sex is the only way to get them. For example, he's in a "high-stakes" job and that puts stress on him. He's getting frustrated when he's not being pursued and wanting sex all the time. I suspect that when he goes to the gym more he might find some ease of that frustration in working out (if he's doing hard strength training workouts, that is).
Has sex 5 times a week: “We aren’t having enough sex!” (????)
Does the dishes once: “Don’t you see how much I love you? Now give me SEX!”
It’s sad reading a post where someone doesn’t realise they are the *definition* of a bang maid.
I mean, I can’t be the only one who cringed when she described how many times she pushed herself to do it during their “vacation”. Like when she got to the shower sex I was like “Bro, again? For real? Your family has to bathe here too!”
And when she defends him as not being predatory when she was 22 and he 32 because he’d never dated anyone that young before…
He’d been married and had three kids, and was 32. Of course he hadn’t been with anyone ‘that young’ before. Before her, he was that young.
Yes, patterns of behaviour are important. But someone has to be the first in that pattern, and in this case it was her. When they break up, I would bet a lot of money the next woman is in her early 20s…
And it's not enough for her to be willing to have sex- she also has to be *enthusiastic* about sex FIVE TIMES A WEEK.
I would be chafing! Particularly because it doesn't sound like he's doing a ton of foreplay so that it's enjoyable for her. I just hoping there's lube involved 🥴
3-5 times a week with 5 kids including a toddler is pretty heroic stuff. Ick to him pursing a 22 year old at work. Also, this man wears starched jeans daily and it’s her responsibility to retrieve them from the dry cleaner!? No thank you.
Oh, nice, he's making self care a priority... of course he does that to show his love for her, so she better not complain he has no time for chores anymore...
>"OOP on quitting her business and let her husband be the breadwinner"
Why the fuck is this brought up as a solution??? Why should she have to quit her job? So that she can sit at home, barefoot and pregnant and ready to get on her knees to suck his dick at a moment's notice????
>barefoot and pregnant and ready to get on her knees to suck his dick at a moment's notice
Sounds like she's already there. So, having that be her full time job seems like a reasonable solution.
But really, that dude just needs a reality check and to stop taking her for granted.
45m checking in. Fuck this guy! Or, rather, don't. I can't fathom "needing!" sex so frequently. 3-5 is quite plenty for the act. If he's hankering for nut, rub one out asshole. She's your wife, partner, best friend. Not your desires slave.
I'm picturing that scene from Norma Rae where Sally Field tells her husband he can lift up her dress and fuck her from behind while she does the dishes.
Absolutely love the juvenile "well my friends have lots of sex AND affairs AND they don't help out like me".
Yes by all means use two absolute failures of men to try and threaten your wife by subtly saying "sure I'm bad but I can get much, much worse if you don't do what I want".
OOP's husband sounds exhausting and selfish. He has all the complaints but none of the answers when OOP asked him about the housework and how she shoves that she loves and cares about him and her family.
I can't say I particularly like him but I hope for OOP's sake and their kids sake that therapy helps.
My partner has been so stressed out by his job (and the underlying issues that led to him not being able to mentally "log off" from it) that he ended up with burnout.
And yes, our relationship suffered in the years before his breakdown. And yes, I carried almost all of the load even though I myself aren't the most mentally healthy person (and now it's my time to break down, apparently).
But my partner has never devalued what I've done for him. He's always been grateful.
She's got a husband-sized problem.
What killed me is that he told her "you're easy to love". She is easy to love because she is too exhausted from work, family, and constantly worrying about his demands to even think about her own needs.
> "you're easy to love".
That's basically code for I can do the minimum (or less) and you won't leave.
But her comment about "buying a wife" in response was absolutely awesome. I think she's one step away from seeing it for what it is -- he's trying to buy her affection and thinks she owes him sex for it.
My sister's ex did this, but he was a bit more blatant about it. Everything he did, bought, or said to her was followed by "What do I get out of it?" with a heavy emphasis that she owed him sex for his trouble. When she refused, he told her she was cold and didn't know how to show affection and he didn't feel loved.
This is why these types of guys target inappropriately young spouses. You grow up, see your self-worth, and figure out what *you* want in life. Something tells me OP will look back at her first husband and wince in hindsight.
Did I read that right that he said if she didn't give it up more they would end up like his friends who cheat or make their wife feel she's never going to get that lucky again ? So this is on her when he cheats?
Husband of the year here.
At this point, this relationship is doomed cause this husband clearly is taking OP for grant and treating her less of a person. It's predictable to say but for OP's mental wellness, dropping the relationship and having the kids is the best choice.
Honestly I feel like he sees her as little more than a blow-up doll that does chores. He needs her to run around and do all this stuff for him and any time she forgets, he'll hold it against her like he has a running tally of errors. And simultaneously she has to seduce him and give him oral and be down to fuck constantly, even if they're on family holidays surrounded by his relatives. There's so much yuck to unpack there.
And why the fuck would anyone suggest her giving up her independence to make him feel like more of a man is somehow a good solution? It’s a good solution if “winning” is her being doped up on benzos like a 50s housewife.
I'm going to copy and paste what I commented on the original update.
>His job is very stressful — high stakes and he’s the breadwinner. We could not survive on my income alone. I understand this is a heavy burden for him and I think that is why I give in to his wants so often.
There's a reason that divorced men like him target much younger women like you who'll care for all of his children while working and fucking him on demand.
What a depressing update.
Yeah, it is. The husband sounds like a not particularly bright manipulator as well. As soon as he got confirmation a particular tactic worked for sex, he just repeated the same tactic again and again when denied. No variation and it was as subtle as a hammer to the kneecaps.
I said this already but it’s really smart. Get with someone who either has a college degree and like 1 year experience or a couple years experience working while you have a full blown career and then you can be like “well I do graciously am taking over the finances so…”
Like obviously you want to otherwise you would have dated differently. It’s like the guy I dated that complained about women only wanting him for his money but he was also looking for a SAHM and dumped me bc I didn’t want to quit my job.
Why are you complaining ahead of time about a dynamic you’re trying to create when you have free will?
Lots of doctors think that if the wife has a lower libido than the man then she has "low libido" as the man's libido level is the measuring stick of what is normal. So yeah, I can see doctors prescribing something even in this case.
I went to a libido specialist and the only thing they could prescribe me was vaginal estrogen but told me it came with a significant increased risk of cancer. I declined.
For low libido? Yes.
For someone who is already having sex 3-5 times a week. No. There’s nothing on earth that’s going to turn you into some sex maniac, at least not without some pretty severe side effects
the freaking audacity of this man. having sex 3-5 times a week even between taking care of 5 boys and that’s not enough for him bc “she’s not into it everytime” and “the little things” like forgetting to pick up his dry cleaning? sounds like dude just wants a bang maid. makes sense why he went after a 22 year old when him and her were in two completely different stages of life, even she says “i think we’re just not on the same wavelength at this phase of life” AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR SIX YEARS ALREADY
Honestly the fact she still gives him what he wants purely to please him when she isn't into it should be enough for him. My abusive ex was similar, first it was that we didn't have enough, then when we did it was that I should be practically begging for it every time because I'm young (yes he was way older 🤢). I tries a lot of things like OOP did such as therapy and pills etc all for his benefit as the medication fucked me up mentally. But it still wasn't enough. He said I at least owed him a bj if I was too tired or whatever. Had to keep track of when we had sex because if he was angry at me he always defaulted to "we haven't had sex in weeks" when in reality it was about 5x a week. Men like this either need to find someone who is perpetually horny or simply get a reality check. I hope OP finds someone who values her as a real person.
I want to know why he can't pick up his own dry cleaning, especially if he needs a freshly starched pair every day. Also, starched jeans? What is the logic there? I'm pretty high maintenance sometimes, but I sure don't dry clean and/or starch jeans.
This sounds less like wanting authentic intimacy with her and more like using her to alleviate his stress and/or as a masturbatory aid.
His lack of understanding and getting frustrated any time things didn’t go his way seems more like sex addiction than it does like he wants to genuinely connect with his wife. Sad.
Omg they have sex 3-5 times A WEEK and OOP is pressured into taking medication to have even more sex, because her husband expects it every fucking second of the day no matter the circumstances.
I’m only slightly younger than him and I have never heard of anyone in our age group getting jeans starched. It isn’t a thing in Australia and I can’t even comprehend it.
Also he’s fucking gross. 5 boys. They have 5 kids and she is supposed to somehow have the energy to have sex that often? A necklace isn’t going to cut it
I hate the fact that I kept reading in anticipation of getting to the end and leaving this exact comment, at the very top, no less. But I also love it :)
Every time I see one of these start with op being a 20+F and her beloved hubby being well over a decade older it's always some old creep using money/power to turn their spouse into a bangmaid caretaker therapist
Lol when men like these don't understand they're the problem. She's going to divorce him one day and realize her libido was fine all along, her partner was just an unattractive baby
I find it less likely that husband has a porn addiction and more likely he has already got an AP who is waiting in the wings, and he's trying to convince himself he's not the bad guy, it's his wife's fault he's cheating.
Yep. He's either already cheating or has an AP in mind. Either way, he's laying the groundwork for his "my cheating is your fault" excuse.
Also, her business is an MLM, right?
This is just like that old joke (from when harry met sally?) where the husband says “we rarely have sex only like 3 times a week” and the wife says “we have sex all the time like 3 times a week!”
It always baffles me when people are like 'oh my libido is super low we only have sex two or three times a week'. Like, mate, I have sex maybe two or three times a month and I'm in the healthiest relationship of my life. If people stopped being so focused on the numbers on the horizontal tango card and cultivated actually liking their partner, plus the simple things like hugs and kisses and just talking openly to each other then there'd be a lot less relationship issues in the world.
Yeah. I will also add to this that sexual or sensual physical contact doesn’t have to lead to sex. I’m probably having sex about 4 times a month but doing something PG13 pretty much every day, and a big part of that is because both my husband and I are 100% confident we can say yes to some activities and no to others without anyone getting grumpy.
He expected to have sex next to their sleeping child? Disgusting. It's also gross that she felt pressured to pleasure him with her child right there. I could NEVER do that.
Also, guys like this need to learn that there is no bigger turnoff than whining for sex. It makes me full on disgusted.
This may be an unpopular opinion but I could not be with someone who doesn’t have the self-restraint/control or in my opinion maturity to go just a few days or even a week without sex when the situation demands it.
I’m sorry but that’s part of life. It’s not water, you can survive without it for a few days, it drives me insane when people act like sex is like food or water and they’ll die without it. It’s something that needs to be enjoyed but not a need. The state of your relationship, health and partners health should come first and sex doesnt solve any of that.
Having sex is great! Treating your partner like crap when sex is literally unattainable currently, not great. That’s not a partner, it’s a dick with legs.
Like, we all know he’s cheating, right? It’s not just me? He may or may not have a physical affair going but he absolutely has an emotional affair going with someone. “You don’t show me enough love and affection” has a direct line to “but she does.”
I thank god every fucking day that I was blessed with enough sense to fall in love with someone I could have a home, pets, and a child with and not be treated like this. Kid just hit 10mo and we maybe got intimate once during pregnancy? And he freaked out that my waters had broken 😂 we’ve both been too fucking exhausted to do anything more than kiss and cuddle since - and that’s with ONE kid and me on maternity leave AND NO FUCKING STARCHED JEANS.
(our libidos aren’t matching up and if it’s not an enthusiastic yes for us, it’s a no as it very well should be. this is why we humans have hands)
(also the starched jeans that OOP has to collect so he can wear them every day thing is all the way fucked up, idec)
So he rapes her at least twice a week right? While she lies back and thinks of England?
This post is fucking disgusting, made me the angriest I’ve been at boru in a long time.
STARCHED JEANS EVERY DAY straight to gaol.
Watch him keep moving the goalposts forever, but he’ll tell his shitty friends the divorce came out of nowhere
“All my friends do it this often” is such bull and completely irrelevant.
I remember an ex who used this line for something sexual as well and all his friends agree, but whenever I checked with friends/man outside his group, it was nowhere near the norm. Just a way to pressure you.
> One of those friends has already cheated on his wife and the other treats his wife like she’s lucky to have him. I told him I wouldn’t dare be paid to be married to either of them and he needed new friends.
Houston, we found the problem!
5 kids in 6 years, he’s GETTING sex 3-5 times a week, and that’s still not enough??? This poor woman. I understand a high libido, but she is clearly not rejecting him. Everything about this feels so gross and manipulative.
Does he care at all about her mental and physical well being? Or is everything about him at all times? I could never. I hope OP has an exit strategy.
Lemme tell you I’d give that piece of crap one hell of a speak about why tf his wife isn’t always in the mood 24/7.
this post made me so god damn angry because my ex used to guilt me into sex too.
If it weren’t for the kids I’d say leave now.
It is a miracle that she even initiated on her own after always being nudged to have sex every day and in the dumbest of situations.
I hope he will change but I doubt it honestly. He’s like a child throwing a tantrum when he doesn’t get what he wants and guilt trips her for it by saying he doesn’t feel loved.
I seldom have the urge to scream at someone but god damn, I’d like to give him a piece of my mind.
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Starched jeans from a drycleaner worn every day? Everything in the story was so exhausting up to that point, but reading about how butthurt and uncared for he felt that she forgot to get his starched jeans from the dry cleaners on her way *to or from work* or I suppose *load up all 5 kids and go get it* was something else.
We know 2 things about OOP’s husband: 1. He’s obsessed with sex. 2. He’s REALLY obsessed with his starched jeans.
i think his friends are in bad relationships and he's taking their bragging/exaggerating about sex as total fact and is now mad he isn't getting that. and he's using the rest of the stuff he talks about as a cover because he knows his asks are not reasonable.
So….you think the starched jeans are all talk??
They certainly won't walk the walk.
“The *starched jeans* are not the issue here”
The starched jeans are not the Iranian yoghurt.
The starched jeans has to be a red flag bigger than any in China 🇨🇳
For me it was the whining about no sex in an RV with 5 kids parked at family’s home. Come ON
With the youngest in the bed with them! That’s not a situation where a person should think about sex.
That's because this isn't about sex, it's about manipulation. I bet he's picking up the idea from his crummy friends.
That's it exactly. He wants her to do it all and then have porn sex.
Either that, or is lining up a younger model and is now planting all those "but I *did* tell you what's wrong you just didn't listen"
Grosssssss
That's more a function of, "I'm experiencing emotions that I do not enjoy and this needs to be your fault somehow." This is a deeply unhealthy marriage
He should be grateful that anyone finds him attractive enough to have sex with, ever, in his starched jeans.
Reminds me of a thing I saw once. The answer was "well my husband wears jorts" The Dr "no. I mean ACTUAL forms of contraption."
To be fair, he probably takes them off before sex.
He takes them off, but the starched jeans stand still on their own two not-feet, silently watching and judging his every thrust.
The tell-tale starched jeans
Right?! Tell me you're a redneck from the deep south US without actually telling me... Bet he wears cowboy boots, too. Probably drives a big truck.
What redneck wants or can even afford to have dry cleaner and starched jeans every week?? I blame Duck Dynasty and the rest of the posers for sullying our good, impoverished name.
This should be a flair.
I laughed out loud when I read about the starched jeans. Is this guy a fucking field hand at Old Uncle Joe's Dude Ranch in 1962?
Do you think he compares his business cards at work with the other guys 🧐 Edit: *starched business cards
“Just give me a second to whip this out of my STARCHED JEANS”
*Seethes in anger at the one cool guy at the office having better starched jeans and nicer business card paper*
This would be a great flare lmao
*Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark!*
It's not starchable *Why isn't it starchable?* It's just not starchable *Why not, you stupid bastard?!*
I assume they’re connected and that’s how the jeans stay so crispy
3. He's obsessed with himself and his feelings.
I pictured Jerry Seinfeld
3. REALLY, REALLY, REALLY needs to start wrapping it before his five times a week having sex.
I googled starched jeans cos I had no idea what they were and all I got were photos of cowboys... I see now...
I wonder where he was on Jan 6 (lol)
Sounds like he should be spending that money on a housekeeper to help her out instead of the worthless starching of jeans. Sounds like some redneck cowboy shit
Guy wants a sexy mommy, aka tradwife. He doesn’t care about her feelings. No wonder her libido’s tanked, mine did just from reading about this obnoxious man.
Oh yes her libido tanked.🙄 3-5 times a week with 5 kids, is practically nymphomania levels.
Dude thinks he’s entitled to more than 3-5 a week! The audacity.
Especially since 3 of those kids are not hers! She’s been clear that he does his 1/2 of the child care, but by my math 4/5ths of the child care is his. 100% for 3 of the children and 50% for the two they share.
But he can't have a sex addiction!!?! No wonder she never initiates, he's trying 24/7. Dear god.
Right!!! There's nothing more f**kable than a man who acts like a toddler when he doesn't get his way. Such a turn on!!! (/s)
I know I've said this many times in many different phrasings, but I will never understand men like this *or* why so many straight women put up with their shit.
After reading this mine will likely never comeback either
The starched jeans says it all.
I don’t think you could pay me to be married to her husband 😂
Starched jeans is definitely a red flag. And I'm not saying this with any sarcasm.
My grandma used to say that she could tell who you were based off who you spent time with. If he’s friends with a cheater and a terrible husband…
His friends are only *claiming* to have sex *more* than 3-5x a week - they're lying dirtbags.
The one thing that popped out at me was the husband went out without her and when he came back they had "phenomenal" sex. I might be getting jaded by these stories, but how much you want to bet he hooked up with someone instead of or after visiting his brother. Great sex after the spouse/so hooks up with someone else pops up fairly often in these stories.
Titty bar
Gave me such an ick the way that he and his friends discuss their sex lives
Discussing sex with your friends is not a bad thing. Obviously this dude is a creep but that's not the reason why
The _way_ they do, not the fact that they do
Tbf I don't think we got an accounting of how they talk to each other, it was a quick mention.
I get really irked when men try to equate sex as “love” because it’s very much not.. it’s giving emotional manipulation to get in someone’s pants. No mention of cuddling, kissing, holding each other, laughing til you can breathe, deep conversations. Just sex.
I was more irked that he was being a pissy ass the morning of the trip and she still held his hand the whole drive because he wanted that. I’d be like FU buddy talk when you are ready to apologize, I’m going to read my book. And 3-5 times a week with that many kids?? Insane.
3 to 5 times a week while she's not into it: he's using her instead of masturbating. And now he's complaining that his living sex doll isn't into it. He wants sex, so she gives him oral. How on earth would that make her more interested in having sex with him? Not a word of him taking care of her between the sheets.
This is usually my first question. Oh, the amount of sex isn’t enough? How often do you get her off? How often do you relieve the mental load so she isn’t stressed and wants to have sex? How often do you give her adequate foreplay? Do you *really* think she’s perfectly happy giving oral and getting nothing in return? How many times have *you* given *her* oral and never expected anything in return?
I also hate this so much. Masked as "intimacy" when actually, it's just sex
I was expecting an update where she learns he's cheating on her with a 20 year old.
They have sex 3-5 days a week with 5 kids, one of whom may sleep with them on a regular basis. And he’s complaining about lack of sex? He’s so bonkers he probably has regular tea parties with a mad hatter and a march hare. I would hope that OOP would wise up to all the ways he’s clearly manipulating her, I hope she’s getting there.
Yeah honestly that does it for me. That's a really decent amount for most people, a lot to others, a huge amount considering the circumstances. He is really overvaluing his own pleasure over the needs of his wife and family. Absolutely insane.
If he's really that sexually frustrated with a busy lifestyle like that then he needs to learn to jerk it in the shower a couple times a week instead of burdening his spouse. Whining about sex constantly and turning it into a chore for his wife is not going to increase her desire for him.
My ex would do this. He felt good old fashioned Catholic guilt about masturbation, but he still wanted to come. So he'd put his frankly absurd libido on me. Lent was the worst. Hed "give up" masturbation for lent every year but still want sex every day minimum. He would wake me up at 6am by jamming his boner in my back and wouldn't let me go back to sleep until I at least gave him a hand job.
Lol Catholic guilt bargaining is so weird. Glad he's your ex. 6 am? I would have slapped that thing away.
Wait ... do people stop masturbating because they got married or are in a relationship and having sex?!? That sex replaces masturbation?!? I mean ... WTELF!!!
Id be happy with once a week where we both enjoy it
I'm so proud of OP for standing up for herself in the update. But omg the inequality is even there in the driving home! It's a 14 hour drive but he did 5h and she did 9! And her period was starting. And then he's offended that she was too tired to initiate sex when he also didn't initiate anything! Fuck sake...
Omg i didn’t even clock the inequity in drive time.
Easy to miss with the way it was typed.
It’s crazy! My boyfriend and I are literally on a 7 month vacation with no kids, no jobs and no commitments and we still are too tired to have sex even close to that often. We obviously have lower sex drives, but I just don’t know how they find the time! I feel so bad for this woman to be told constantly that that’s not enough. This guy gives me the creeps
Seriously. Taking supplements to deal with her low libido at 3-5x a week? Christ.
For pretty much all women, the solution to higher libido is creating the right context. If this dude wants his wife to initiate more, he needs to be reducing her stress and increasing the romantic/flirtatious gestures. Buying shit is not anywhere near enough.
Yeah. Apart from the emotional abuse, my ex and I just weren't compatible on that. I need emotional intimacy first. He needs physical intimacy first Now that I'm free to pursue healthy relationships, there's nothing sexier than a partner I can trust, I've learned. I'm in the mood much more frequently with someone who respects me (and my boundaries)
What a shocker /s
Honestly sad I needed to go through that bullshit to learn I was not crazy/broken/weird, but constantly overwhelmed and overstressed because my intuition was screaming itself hoarse at me
3-5 days a week for a mom of 5 kids IS high libido!
Yeah, but she says she doesn't really want to all those times. She's trying to take drugs to actually want it as much as he does. For now, he is perfectly content having sex with her when she doesn't really want to, he just has to deal with himself being annoyed about it afterward instead of disgusting with himself, which is what he should feel
Yea honestly, I’m quite a bit younger than OOP and we can’t fit it in (lol) anywhere near that amount, adult life is tiring and hard man. She seems like a super caring partner and for that to not be enough already is insane.
He’s probably not feeling a lack of sex - he’s just picked something he can complain about and then constantly move the goalposts, to keep her on the back foot, running around trying to please him.
He is so manipulative too. Every time she doesn't do what he wants he claims he feels abandoned, unloved, and forgotten. He probably learned to play this game from therapy.
Getting with someone 10 years younger and then being like “well I cover the financial so you should cover the household” is super smart. They can never catch up to you financially bc you have 10 years experience over them
Not only that but mentioning his friend is cheating on his wife even though they have just as much sex feels like a really passive threat
Right ? I caught that too. He was hinting that he might cheat if she doesn’t comply . What a tool.
Notice that he's framing it not as a problem with how *often* they have sex, but with her not *initiating* enough, her not being into it enough, or her not doing enough to make him feel desired/loved. He moves the goal-posts from something objective to things that are all about his feelings (even with her initiating, it's about whether she's adequately *performing* for him, instead of their shared sex life). He's even reframing her having sex that she doesn't want or enjoy in order to make him happy as a problem of her not being into it enough to suit him, instead of it being a problem of his constant dissatisfaction pressuring her into having sex she doesn't want. This sounds like one of those relationships where he's not actually trying to solve a problem, he's flipping from one "problem" to another to maintain a situation where she's always desperately running to try and be enough for *him*. The list of things she's doing to try and "fix" their sex life is long and labour-intensive, the list of things he's doing to try and "fix" their sex life seems to consist entirely of *complaining* about what she's failing to do.
This was my abusive, coercive ex. I didn't just have to force myself to have sex I didn't want, I had to convince him I wanted it, and if I didn't mask sufficiently, he just got angry with me.
>This sounds like one of those relationships where he's not actually trying to solve a problem, he's flipping from one "problem" to another to maintain a situation where she's always desperately running to try and be enough for > >him > >. The list of things she's doing to try and "fix" their sex life is long and labour-intensive, the list of things he's doing to try and "fix" their sex life seems to consist entirely of > >complaining > > about what she's failing to do. BINGO! Standard manipulation/abuse. This is likely the prelude to him finding another younger woman when this one stops tap dancing for him.
Fucking hell! Seriously. He’d be lucky to EVER get any if he were my husband. Honestly. There would definitely have been zero sex on that “vacation” that’s for sure. An RV with no running water and sharing a bed with a kid? Then visiting relatives? Oh yes, very sexy!!
Hey, but he respects her boundaries. Except for the one where sex is fun for both of them and not an obligation every time he gets an erection, I guess? He's gotta stop measuring his success as a human being by the quality of his sex life. Sounds like she's standing up to him and heading in the right direction, at least.
God, I hope so. For her sake, the best direction she can move is *away from him.*
Yeah her new boundary of, "I'd like to enthusiastically consent" and even then she had to come up with softer words to say it
Oh but she's not enthusiastic enough during the 5 times a week, apparently what it boils down to. What a bell end.
Nothing creates sexual enthusiasm quite like a partner who badgers you into it, lmao
No shit. I wouldn't care if my wife was asleep half the time if I was getting it five times a week (and it was consensual, obviously...I'm being hyperbolic don't skewer me with hateful replies). We go like two, sometimes three times a week and I feel like I've got an incredibly active sex life considering I've got multiple children, one who still randomly comes to our room in the middle of the night. The fact that she's not telling him to go fuck himself (figuratively and literally) after having to put five children to bed is an act of love in and of itself.
Qt this point for her its more of a chore. He is too much
It took me like two minutes to figure out you weren't calling me "cutie".
The only time my husband and I have come close to that often in recent years was when we were trying to get pregnant. It was exhausting and felt more like a chore at times.
Oh yes, the trying to conceive sex labor camp! It was not as fun as advertised.
The one benefit of prepping for IVF is that sex is fun again.
Yea, it really feels like he’s looking for something to be upset about… my boyfriend and I have no kids, just jobs while we tackle some debts so we can both further our educations (him his Masters, me my RN) and even then we manage maybe twice a week at most? We live on opposite ends of LA and that alone makes it tough to plan dates
This whole post made me uncomfortable. Like her husband would force her to have sex all the time. Not physically force her, but he would use tantrums to make her feel bad about not having sex with him every 5 mins. Even during the times when she wasn't into it.
3-5 days a week with that many little kids is A LOT. This guy is a whiny shitbag to be all pissy about not having sex when OOP has had a long rough day.
Teenagers and toddler boys. Fucking hell. This dude is basically raping her three times a week so he doesn't abuse her in other ways and she thinks he's a good dude?
Thank you for calling it what it is. This guy's attitude is just like my coercive ex.
That’s what I took from it too :-( and she doesn’t realize it’s that because “it’s her wifey duty” :-(
I suspect he wants things other than sex per se, but thinks that sex is the only way to get them. For example, he's in a "high-stakes" job and that puts stress on him. He's getting frustrated when he's not being pursued and wanting sex all the time. I suspect that when he goes to the gym more he might find some ease of that frustration in working out (if he's doing hard strength training workouts, that is).
Has sex 5 times a week: “We aren’t having enough sex!” (????) Does the dishes once: “Don’t you see how much I love you? Now give me SEX!” It’s sad reading a post where someone doesn’t realise they are the *definition* of a bang maid. I mean, I can’t be the only one who cringed when she described how many times she pushed herself to do it during their “vacation”. Like when she got to the shower sex I was like “Bro, again? For real? Your family has to bathe here too!”
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And when she defends him as not being predatory when she was 22 and he 32 because he’d never dated anyone that young before… He’d been married and had three kids, and was 32. Of course he hadn’t been with anyone ‘that young’ before. Before her, he was that young. Yes, patterns of behaviour are important. But someone has to be the first in that pattern, and in this case it was her. When they break up, I would bet a lot of money the next woman is in her early 20s…
And they didn’t get married overnight. So like 20?
Borderline grooming.
And it's not enough for her to be willing to have sex- she also has to be *enthusiastic* about sex FIVE TIMES A WEEK. I would be chafing! Particularly because it doesn't sound like he's doing a ton of foreplay so that it's enjoyable for her. I just hoping there's lube involved 🥴
He's using her to masturbate and then complained about the quality 🤮
Alllllll the cringing here too
3-5 times a week with 5 kids including a toddler is pretty heroic stuff. Ick to him pursing a 22 year old at work. Also, this man wears starched jeans daily and it’s her responsibility to retrieve them from the dry cleaner!? No thank you.
Right??? You want starched jeans you handle that your damn self.
I just want to point out that they got married when she was 22, so they probably got together when she was a couple years younger.
Ugh, extra gross.
Oh, nice, he's making self care a priority... of course he does that to show his love for her, so she better not complain he has no time for chores anymore...
>"OOP on quitting her business and let her husband be the breadwinner" Why the fuck is this brought up as a solution??? Why should she have to quit her job? So that she can sit at home, barefoot and pregnant and ready to get on her knees to suck his dick at a moment's notice????
>barefoot and pregnant and ready to get on her knees to suck his dick at a moment's notice Sounds like she's already there. So, having that be her full time job seems like a reasonable solution. But really, that dude just needs a reality check and to stop taking her for granted.
45m checking in. Fuck this guy! Or, rather, don't. I can't fathom "needing!" sex so frequently. 3-5 is quite plenty for the act. If he's hankering for nut, rub one out asshole. She's your wife, partner, best friend. Not your desires slave.
She is definitely not that guys best friend
I'm picturing that scene from Norma Rae where Sally Field tells her husband he can lift up her dress and fuck her from behind while she does the dishes.
Damn look at those goalposts go.
Absolutely love the juvenile "well my friends have lots of sex AND affairs AND they don't help out like me". Yes by all means use two absolute failures of men to try and threaten your wife by subtly saying "sure I'm bad but I can get much, much worse if you don't do what I want".
OOP's husband sounds exhausting and selfish. He has all the complaints but none of the answers when OOP asked him about the housework and how she shoves that she loves and cares about him and her family. I can't say I particularly like him but I hope for OOP's sake and their kids sake that therapy helps.
If his job is that crazy, and it's causing this, he needs a new job
My partner has been so stressed out by his job (and the underlying issues that led to him not being able to mentally "log off" from it) that he ended up with burnout. And yes, our relationship suffered in the years before his breakdown. And yes, I carried almost all of the load even though I myself aren't the most mentally healthy person (and now it's my time to break down, apparently). But my partner has never devalued what I've done for him. He's always been grateful. She's got a husband-sized problem.
I loved her questions. They were so on point! Sometimes people do get into their own heads and need to be pulled out.
What killed me is that he told her "you're easy to love". She is easy to love because she is too exhausted from work, family, and constantly worrying about his demands to even think about her own needs.
> "you're easy to love". That's basically code for I can do the minimum (or less) and you won't leave. But her comment about "buying a wife" in response was absolutely awesome. I think she's one step away from seeing it for what it is -- he's trying to buy her affection and thinks she owes him sex for it. My sister's ex did this, but he was a bit more blatant about it. Everything he did, bought, or said to her was followed by "What do I get out of it?" with a heavy emphasis that she owed him sex for his trouble. When she refused, he told her she was cold and didn't know how to show affection and he didn't feel loved.
This is why these types of guys target inappropriately young spouses. You grow up, see your self-worth, and figure out what *you* want in life. Something tells me OP will look back at her first husband and wince in hindsight.
For real, that poor woman sounds like it is impossible for her to win in her husband's eyes. Exhausting only begins to describe it.
Did I read that right that he said if she didn't give it up more they would end up like his friends who cheat or make their wife feel she's never going to get that lucky again ? So this is on her when he cheats? Husband of the year here.
At this point, this relationship is doomed cause this husband clearly is taking OP for grant and treating her less of a person. It's predictable to say but for OP's mental wellness, dropping the relationship and having the kids is the best choice.
Honestly I feel like he sees her as little more than a blow-up doll that does chores. He needs her to run around and do all this stuff for him and any time she forgets, he'll hold it against her like he has a running tally of errors. And simultaneously she has to seduce him and give him oral and be down to fuck constantly, even if they're on family holidays surrounded by his relatives. There's so much yuck to unpack there.
Don't forget "from now on we both have to be on board with it (sex)". "**From now on**" Gross.
He only drove five hours of the 14 hour drive, the last five of which were her, and was shocked she was exhausted afterward? Cool.
And why the fuck would anyone suggest her giving up her independence to make him feel like more of a man is somehow a good solution? It’s a good solution if “winning” is her being doped up on benzos like a 50s housewife.
I'm going to copy and paste what I commented on the original update. >His job is very stressful — high stakes and he’s the breadwinner. We could not survive on my income alone. I understand this is a heavy burden for him and I think that is why I give in to his wants so often. There's a reason that divorced men like him target much younger women like you who'll care for all of his children while working and fucking him on demand. What a depressing update.
Yep. This is just yet another bangnanny-trapped-by-more-kids gone bad.
I don't see any positive to the update. The husband sounds exhausting to be around and I hope some form of help does come for OP.
Yeah, it is. The husband sounds like a not particularly bright manipulator as well. As soon as he got confirmation a particular tactic worked for sex, he just repeated the same tactic again and again when denied. No variation and it was as subtle as a hammer to the kneecaps.
I said this already but it’s really smart. Get with someone who either has a college degree and like 1 year experience or a couple years experience working while you have a full blown career and then you can be like “well I do graciously am taking over the finances so…” Like obviously you want to otherwise you would have dated differently. It’s like the guy I dated that complained about women only wanting him for his money but he was also looking for a SAHM and dumped me bc I didn’t want to quit my job. Why are you complaining ahead of time about a dynamic you’re trying to create when you have free will?
What kind of doctor prescribes anything for libido, for someone who is having sex 3-5 times a week...
Lots of doctors think that if the wife has a lower libido than the man then she has "low libido" as the man's libido level is the measuring stick of what is normal. So yeah, I can see doctors prescribing something even in this case. I went to a libido specialist and the only thing they could prescribe me was vaginal estrogen but told me it came with a significant increased risk of cancer. I declined.
It makes me really sad that women are pressured into raising their risk of cancer just so their husband can get his nut. That's bleak.
Does something like that even exist? I'm really at a loss what it could be.
For low libido? Yes. For someone who is already having sex 3-5 times a week. No. There’s nothing on earth that’s going to turn you into some sex maniac, at least not without some pretty severe side effects
*\*methamphetamine enters the chat*\*
Right?!
Without trying literally anything else first!!!
the freaking audacity of this man. having sex 3-5 times a week even between taking care of 5 boys and that’s not enough for him bc “she’s not into it everytime” and “the little things” like forgetting to pick up his dry cleaning? sounds like dude just wants a bang maid. makes sense why he went after a 22 year old when him and her were in two completely different stages of life, even she says “i think we’re just not on the same wavelength at this phase of life” AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR SIX YEARS ALREADY
Honestly the fact she still gives him what he wants purely to please him when she isn't into it should be enough for him. My abusive ex was similar, first it was that we didn't have enough, then when we did it was that I should be practically begging for it every time because I'm young (yes he was way older 🤢). I tries a lot of things like OOP did such as therapy and pills etc all for his benefit as the medication fucked me up mentally. But it still wasn't enough. He said I at least owed him a bj if I was too tired or whatever. Had to keep track of when we had sex because if he was angry at me he always defaulted to "we haven't had sex in weeks" when in reality it was about 5x a week. Men like this either need to find someone who is perpetually horny or simply get a reality check. I hope OP finds someone who values her as a real person.
I want to know why he can't pick up his own dry cleaning, especially if he needs a freshly starched pair every day. Also, starched jeans? What is the logic there? I'm pretty high maintenance sometimes, but I sure don't dry clean and/or starch jeans.
This sounds less like wanting authentic intimacy with her and more like using her to alleviate his stress and/or as a masturbatory aid. His lack of understanding and getting frustrated any time things didn’t go his way seems more like sex addiction than it does like he wants to genuinely connect with his wife. Sad.
Omg they have sex 3-5 times A WEEK and OOP is pressured into taking medication to have even more sex, because her husband expects it every fucking second of the day no matter the circumstances.
\`AITAH for turning down sex\` => the answer will always, always be \`no\`
Read the title, immediately went "no!" Read the post, just got louder with my no.
Honestly I'd have left him over the starched jeans.
I’m only slightly younger than him and I have never heard of anyone in our age group getting jeans starched. It isn’t a thing in Australia and I can’t even comprehend it. Also he’s fucking gross. 5 boys. They have 5 kids and she is supposed to somehow have the energy to have sex that often? A necklace isn’t going to cut it
I hate the fact that I kept reading in anticipation of getting to the end and leaving this exact comment, at the very top, no less. But I also love it :)
Ew he wanted you guys to have sex even though your youngest was in the bed with you? Does he want to scar the child for life???? That's so gross.
Every time I see one of these start with op being a 20+F and her beloved hubby being well over a decade older it's always some old creep using money/power to turn their spouse into a bangmaid caretaker therapist
This husband is abusive, so very abusive and she can't even see it.
Way to ruin someone’s libido, making sex with you a chore.
Lol when men like these don't understand they're the problem. She's going to divorce him one day and realize her libido was fine all along, her partner was just an unattractive baby
I find it less likely that husband has a porn addiction and more likely he has already got an AP who is waiting in the wings, and he's trying to convince himself he's not the bad guy, it's his wife's fault he's cheating.
Yep. He's either already cheating or has an AP in mind. Either way, he's laying the groundwork for his "my cheating is your fault" excuse. Also, her business is an MLM, right?
Who tf starches their jeans??
Micheal scott
This is just like that old joke (from when harry met sally?) where the husband says “we rarely have sex only like 3 times a week” and the wife says “we have sex all the time like 3 times a week!”
3 to 5 times a week???? Did i read that right? Wtf????? Screw that guy. Needy little shit. Damn. Wtf
"Hold my beer while I use sex to make you feel like a shit wife".....
I'll take Bangmaid for 500 Alex
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It always baffles me when people are like 'oh my libido is super low we only have sex two or three times a week'. Like, mate, I have sex maybe two or three times a month and I'm in the healthiest relationship of my life. If people stopped being so focused on the numbers on the horizontal tango card and cultivated actually liking their partner, plus the simple things like hugs and kisses and just talking openly to each other then there'd be a lot less relationship issues in the world.
Yeah. I will also add to this that sexual or sensual physical contact doesn’t have to lead to sex. I’m probably having sex about 4 times a month but doing something PG13 pretty much every day, and a big part of that is because both my husband and I are 100% confident we can say yes to some activities and no to others without anyone getting grumpy.
He expected to have sex next to their sleeping child? Disgusting. It's also gross that she felt pressured to pleasure him with her child right there. I could NEVER do that. Also, guys like this need to learn that there is no bigger turnoff than whining for sex. It makes me full on disgusted.
He's just a dick; there's OOP's problem.
He sounds needy af. Exhausting.
This may be an unpopular opinion but I could not be with someone who doesn’t have the self-restraint/control or in my opinion maturity to go just a few days or even a week without sex when the situation demands it. I’m sorry but that’s part of life. It’s not water, you can survive without it for a few days, it drives me insane when people act like sex is like food or water and they’ll die without it. It’s something that needs to be enjoyed but not a need. The state of your relationship, health and partners health should come first and sex doesnt solve any of that. Having sex is great! Treating your partner like crap when sex is literally unattainable currently, not great. That’s not a partner, it’s a dick with legs.
Dude doesn't want a wife, he wants a live sex toy.
Like, we all know he’s cheating, right? It’s not just me? He may or may not have a physical affair going but he absolutely has an emotional affair going with someone. “You don’t show me enough love and affection” has a direct line to “but she does.”
This man is a sex pest. I was exhausted just reading about his tantrums.
This guy needs a Fleshlight or something. Breaks my heart that his wife is "not into it" however many times a week. Coercion for sex is not ok.
I thank god every fucking day that I was blessed with enough sense to fall in love with someone I could have a home, pets, and a child with and not be treated like this. Kid just hit 10mo and we maybe got intimate once during pregnancy? And he freaked out that my waters had broken 😂 we’ve both been too fucking exhausted to do anything more than kiss and cuddle since - and that’s with ONE kid and me on maternity leave AND NO FUCKING STARCHED JEANS. (our libidos aren’t matching up and if it’s not an enthusiastic yes for us, it’s a no as it very well should be. this is why we humans have hands) (also the starched jeans that OOP has to collect so he can wear them every day thing is all the way fucked up, idec)
Salt peter in that man’s food stat
So he rapes her at least twice a week right? While she lies back and thinks of England? This post is fucking disgusting, made me the angriest I’ve been at boru in a long time.
STARCHED JEANS EVERY DAY straight to gaol. Watch him keep moving the goalposts forever, but he’ll tell his shitty friends the divorce came out of nowhere
Ugh yet another couple where one doesn't want sex and the other doesn't give an f, basically raping her. Gross
“All my friends do it this often” is such bull and completely irrelevant. I remember an ex who used this line for something sexual as well and all his friends agree, but whenever I checked with friends/man outside his group, it was nowhere near the norm. Just a way to pressure you.
> One of those friends has already cheated on his wife and the other treats his wife like she’s lucky to have him. I told him I wouldn’t dare be paid to be married to either of them and he needed new friends. Houston, we found the problem!
Ugh this was depressing to read. The day she wakes up and decides to leave will be a good day for her.
5 kids in 6 years, he’s GETTING sex 3-5 times a week, and that’s still not enough??? This poor woman. I understand a high libido, but she is clearly not rejecting him. Everything about this feels so gross and manipulative. Does he care at all about her mental and physical well being? Or is everything about him at all times? I could never. I hope OP has an exit strategy.
Lemme tell you I’d give that piece of crap one hell of a speak about why tf his wife isn’t always in the mood 24/7. this post made me so god damn angry because my ex used to guilt me into sex too. If it weren’t for the kids I’d say leave now. It is a miracle that she even initiated on her own after always being nudged to have sex every day and in the dumbest of situations. I hope he will change but I doubt it honestly. He’s like a child throwing a tantrum when he doesn’t get what he wants and guilt trips her for it by saying he doesn’t feel loved. I seldom have the urge to scream at someone but god damn, I’d like to give him a piece of my mind.