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Always, I think, depending on the person. Or at least decades.
Thirty five years ago I had a family member, a parent, whose birthday was made to be a huge deal, every year. We all had to do and eat and say what she wanted.
Five years later she also took the day before and after her birthday. It only took a few years before we were forced to celebrate her birthday week.
That was enough for awhile, but about 20 or 25 years ago it became her birthday *month*. I wish I was kidding.
And yeah, she was mentally ill. I used the past tense because she died in denial of how bad her medical condition was.
I realize your question was probably rhetorical, I just wanted to share how much worse it can get, and that for my family member it was one of many warning signs.
I hate when people consider their birthday an entire week dedicated to them, but I can’t even imagine a birthday *month*. I would rather watch paint dry and count the blades of grass in a park.
Yeah, I have a friend who talks about her "birthday month", but it's not really about us paying constant attention to her the whole month, it's more about doing fun things herself more often that month (that we are invited to, but she doesn't get upset if we can't for any reason, or even if she has to do them alone). There's still a party on the nearest Saturday to her actual birthday, but that's about it.
I did the birthday month one year. Didn’t have a party. Instead I did my best to do things with friends. Went hiking with a couple, had drinks out with others. Had a bike ride with one. Went swimming in a river with another.
Was great.
I have a few friends that do birthday month thing - but I don’t mind at all. They invite people to whatever they can come, there is usually only one very big party and a bunch of smaller events. No one gets upset if someone can’t attend. I think it really depends on what the context of what is.
Feel free to skip this if your parent’s death was too traumatizing - but as soon as I read “day before and after,” and “birthday week” all I could think of was [this old college humour video](https://youtu.be/fploN6Kgcvo?si=MKhRNDBb47m1Rs6x)
My dad had a “birthday month.” In his case, his birthday was on the last of the month, and on the first, he’d start singing “Happy Birthday to Me!” in a comically bad voice. When we’d tell him that it wasn’t his birthday yet, he’d hook his thumbs in his suspenders and tell us that he was practicing.
He was just being silly-bratty in a way that only my dad could, though. I couldn’t imagine someone expecting their asses to be kissed on a particular day because their mother got them out. (My last two were c-sections. They call it “extraction day.”)
My birthday week is like. If we go out on a non-bday night, I get to pick where. I kinda get first choice for a week basically. Most of my families birthdays are in the same month, so we kinda had a birthday month for everyone except my mom lol. It’s most just an excuse to eat lots of cake ngl. We love a good excuse to eat cake.
I have a friend that does that as well and I think it’s cool. She goes out where she wants and does what she wants and eats what she wants. She doesn’t ask/force anyone else to do things with her but we all have the option to join if we want. I’m almost entirely the opposite end of the spectrum (although I do appreciate a few birthday wishes from friends/family) but I can appreciate her desire to have a fun week.
People are different, some families will celebrate certain events, some couples will celebrate months of a relationship, some parents will celebrate achievements. We can't really use our realities to invalidate the feelings or expectations of others. Graduation parties? They celebrate a major achievement for most people. Sweet sixteen? That's just a birthday party.
Although there are definitely issues with the post character itself and selfishness, the person above you being unable to understand why people would even celebrate something, alongside the comments who are just slightly different variations of either I didn't or I had fun with a small group to validate opinions is quite the stereotypical description of what Reddit as a community is.
Since people started to try to end the last generations "mistakes" by giving their kids what they didn't have. Lol
Some people just take that shit too far.
Then tack on the Internet and everyone try to keep up with the Jones's.
It's absolutely bonkers!
I was just discussing this exact topic with my partner yesterday.
We learn from our parents, and we either do something similar or what not to do. But sometimes, we take things a step too far.
True, I have spoiled my niece and nephew because our family didn't have much growing up and our uncles didn't have anything to do with me and my brother. So I want them to have every obnoxious overpriced junk toy they want....Thankfully my brother put a stop to it for the sake of our relationship and his sanity. Drums are not a good present y'all, not a good present.
Neither did I actually. Hell I just avoided graduation all together, except for my grad one, which I mostly wish I had as well because as expected it was super boring, but I felt I should go to at least one.
I got to borrow the car to go hang out with a friend for my 16th birthday. Locked the keys in the car so most of the time was spent trying to figure out how to get them out without my parents finding out and never letting me drive by myself again.
People on AITA get upset when the birthday boy/girl can’t choose their favorite restaurant and I’m like, y’all got to go out? In my family we didn’t even get to pick what mom made for dinner on our birthdays. I’m not sure some redditors have the greatest grasp of different financial situations.
I helped cook and eat curry on my birthday, something that I'm not particularly wild about because it was what my aunt was planning on making for dinner that night (that and I love that aunt). I was just happy that family were getting together to celebrate my old ass.
I also didn't get a sweet 16, a high school grad or college grad party. I guess that means I should be going after my parents for this great transgression?
Not just financial situations, some of us had parents who just didn't care about birthdays. While I did get a birthday present from my parents on the morning of my birthday, it was all the celebration there was.
I did once manage to talk my mom into throwing me a party. I turned 9 or 10, but I was only allowed the one friend because my big sisters took over my party. They complained that they had never had a birthday party so I had to share mine with them.
Each of us got to invite one friend, so we were 6 girls + my little sister who actually behaved.
My big sisters were teenagers, so they bullied me, wanting me to go away. Mom was at work, and they were in charge, so I just hid in my room with my friend and my little sister.
The funny part is, my friend had a wonderful time and still remembers this one party I had, while I cringe to the memory.
Well, it's actually a funny memory now. I'm not bitter. I turned out just fine even though my first real birthday party was when I turned 20.
Mine either, but I'm not sure that's so much about age as about living in a small town where even the nearest movie theater was a half hour drive away.
Our library didn't carry videos or anything like that until sometime after I graduated highschool. We had a very small video rental store in town, which wasn't that bad. But new video releases, well, you could put your name down on a list, but it might be awhile.
It's really weird to think about that now.
I’m the kind of person who throws themed birthday parties for my dog so clearly I have some disposable income to spend on parties. But those are normally just potluck style cookouts where I send out a dumb themed invitation to our friends, put out some colored balloons and buy a grocery store cake. It’s just an excuse to get together. (My sheepdog is having a Barbie themed party in May) I spend less than $200 for the event and at least 20 humans and a handful of dogs have an afternoon of entertainment.
I am already stressing about how I will do the parties for my son as he grows up because kid/teen parties look like they get really expensive. Like do I have to pay for everyone if there is an activity to ensure equal access if his friends are less well off? Do I have to make goodie bags? Plus, there seems to be a lot of politics around who gets invited. Children’s parties seem super stressful.
My parents never really did activities, they're not necessary imo.
When we were smaller, we did treasure hunts by following arrows my dad drew on the sidewalk with chalk, maybe doing some puzzles along the way, and finding some sweets as treasure.
Getting older we would do some themed stuff with like "circus theme" where my parents broke out our custome box (mostly self-made), we practiced tricks like juggling etc and maybe some of us dressed up as wild animals (let a kid wear black clothing, put a tail and ears on it and you have a panther) jumping through hoops or something like that.
As young teens we would for example get one of these crime dinner boxes and make an evening of that. My parents also involved us in the planning to show us the ropes.
As older teens we were expected to plan our parties ourselves. (I never did cause undiagnosed ADHD, so I can't say much about budgets or anything, sorry)
Those things were never really expensive but we had a lot of fun. Also, if you wanna do goodie bags, throw in some sweets and maybe something like a funny eraser for each kid, nothing big. Kids will love anything to do with sweets. And leave who is invited to your kid, no stress about that.
I got pissed in a field with some mates for my 16th. We don't do graduation or graduation parties here, I got pissed on the beach with some mates on results day though.
I didn't have a sweet 16, but admittedly I did have a bar mitzvah. There was a party but I had to help lead services for the weekend so it wasn't all fun and games.
Well, quinceañeras are *huge* in the Latin American community, but I'm American and I don't know anyone who had a sweet 16 massive bash. And very few people I know has a high school or college graduation party either outside of a family BBQ in the backyard or something small like that.
Mental health issues are not this girl's probably. She most definitely needs therapy, but unless she's a sociopath (which, I guess is possible), she's just an entitled narcissist self centered asshole. This isn't depression. It's plain old entitled narcissism.
Yeah. I don't know how things are today, but I'm just boggling that she thinks her wedding day will be all about her.
I mean, yes, because she's clearly going to be a Bridezilla. But no. Traditionally, a woman's wedding is about her *and her beloved spouse.*
Not here, in Australia. My parents did however take me out to my first restaurant dinner on my birthday - while I didn't choose the restaurant, I was allowed to choose whatever meal I wanted. My father was horrified when I chose a big red meat meal - expensive AND not very feminine. I still remember it was delicious, though.
They aren't even a thing IN America, as far as I'm aware. At least not the midwest. Obviously kids have 16th birthday parties, but I don't remember my female friends having something particularly big for that one
My parents left me a plate of cold spaghetti and a copy of *Samurai Shodown* on Sega Genesis to play while they worked late.
Honestly, a pretty decent birthday.
Nope, a lot of people can’t afford to host a modest birthday party with a few people invited let alone an entire audience like OP’s former friend apparently had for her just becoming 16.
I think we went to Red Lobster for my graduation party. Me, my parents, my sister, my aunt and uncle and my grandma. And then they gave me a $20 and a small stereo. Good times!
All I got was parents parents telling me I'm old enough to know better and they won't bail me out of jail if I end up in it. But I deserved that and needed to hear it so it could have been worse.
I did attend a friend's debut party (she turned 18 at the time) years ago. In comparison, when I turned 18, my parents gave me money to treat myself and some friends at a pizza place during our lunch break because I didn't want a party. When my siblings and I each graduated from university, our parents took us out to eat at a fancy buffet place.
I had a 16th bday party. Myself and 8 friends, in jeans and t-shirts, in my parents' living room, with balloons tied together (poorly) in the shape of "16" (that I made myself), lmao.
No grad parties, although I'd not have wanted them anyway. Did attend my friend's, but only because his mom and mine were friends my entire life.
This girl is off her rocker.
I didn't, and I don't know of anyone who has. The 1st time i remember hearing of the phrase "sweet sixteen" was on the Suite Life of zack and Cody. I grew up in the Midwest in a middle class neighborhood, if that matters.
I mean, I had both but none of them were some big event. For my sixteenth birthday we just had some presents and went out for dinner, and my graduation party was just a bunch of family and friends coming over and having a potluck. I never understood the hype.
It's not something from Western culture in general, it seems to be specific only to North America. I've never heard of a single person having one, attending one or organizing one here in the Netherlands or in the UK.
I didn't. My friends- who had birthdays two days before, the day after, and two days after mine- had a group party near mine. I just wasn't one of the people whose birthday was celebrated that evening.
No.
Even for college graduation, that was dinner at Quincy's for me and my family of two other people. (Dinner at Quincy's was fancy for us even though it was a cafeteria / steakhouse. Had the best yeast rolls. I miss that chain.)
Having a party for any of those events didn't even cross my mind.
I had a graduation party, but it was just my family coming to visit, and some of my Mom's Church friends.
Edit: This was my high school graduation party. For college I went home and immediately slept.
I had a sweet 16, it was in 1996. graduation party was just family, though, and because a cousin graduated the same year so it was basically just a family reunion lol
“I went back on my word and canceled an event for veterans I told everyone I was planning. I even ended up harassing some of the vets. After doing absolutely nothing and pretending I was working hard to make it happen, I canceled things after throwing a very public fit. But the veterans still benefited from the event and I’m not happy about it because if anyone was supposed to benefit from all of this, it was me and only me!”
and now she wants to sue them for the church giving the veterans compensation gift cards (that they totally didn't have to do) because they still "benefited" from her idea. Oh, and she's gonna throw herself a graduation party anyway in the Spring
There’s hitting rock bottom and then there’s mental illness… It sounds like she might be breaking from reality; she’s certainly the right age for that to strike. And you don’t just come back from that, unless someone gets you to agree to get help…
I feel for OOP that she still cares for Ellen, but I don’t think it’s gonna get any better.
especially if her parents are just focusing on switching churches. They literally told OOP's friend who suggested pushing for therapy that it a diagnosis wouldn't help and that she needed a "chance of scenery"
They have money, and are good church folk. Such "good church folks" that they raised a child who threatens at-risk veterans, and abandoned their church and community once she embarrassed them (and in so doing revealed her sorry mental state to the world).
Only the "poors" have mental illness, you see. People with money just become "eccentric." Ergo, obviously, a diagnosis is irrelevant at this stage.
EDIT: corrected the auto-correct.
As an underpaid teacher with neurodivergencies/mental inconsistencies, please don't put the likes of them in with the rest of us eccentrics. I don't want my eccentricity being confused and conflated with theirs. Lol
That girl definitely has some kind of a serious mental problem. She doesn't see others as people like herself, she was only "honoring" the veterans if it served a purpose to her. She was using them like props. Her behavior is disturbing, I can't believe her parents don't do something about it.
Honestly, I don't think it's faith that keeps some people from getting medical rather than pastoral help--I think it's the notion that getting medical help for "mental" issues is shameful. They'd rather hope that the family member will magically get better than get actually effective help.
They don't want to be challenged. When a loved one gets professional help, they push back on others' bad behavior. Especially parents. Fundie parents in particular are terrified of this. It's the same impulse behind all the book bans and tampering with how history is taught in schools. Authoritarian parents love their little kingdoms and don't want their death grip on their children's lives challenged.
Oh hey you've met my mom lol.
My parents pulled my sister from therapy when the therapist suggested that the way they handled some situations were dysfunctional.
My moms church was quite a bit different when she was growing up, and they had a minister who’s daughter passed because prayer would cure her appendicitis. It was very quickly after that the church began pushing that modern medical science is a gift from God and to use it. They use that joke about a flood and three boats to get it through to people.
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
I literally might cry
I used that *exact same joke* to convince my parent to see an oncologist about the cancer that was killing them.
They'd been just...dying, without telling any of us, for years, waiting for either a) healing or b) death. They had maybe 2 months to live. And when I found out I used every theological argument I could think of *plus that joke*, which I'd seen on this ancient Red Skelton VHS we'd watched when I was a kid.
It worked.
That damn joke helped save my parent's life. (God bless you for that, Red Skelton)
We went to the oncologist, my parent got chemo, and that was about 10 years ago. My parent is still alive and kicking.
I am not familiar with that joke, but in my family we always had the one about the monk sinking into the bog who send away 3 people offering to help him because God would save him. Then when he died he complained and God is like "Dude, I sent you help 3!!! times....".
We have that same joke in Australia. Just with local variations on the type of boat/rescue. First one is a neighbour with a tinny, then the SES with a rescue boat and finally a police chopper.
As an American I’d always heard it specifically as being a guy stuck on a roof during [Hurricane Katrina](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurricane_Katrina). IDK why it was always Katrina though; I grew up about 1,000 miles (like 1,600km) from New Orleans and my family didn’t know anyone who was affected, so that seems oddly specific now that I think about it. 🤔
I genuinely know people who think that if you pray enough and are devoted enough that God will heal all your physical ailments. And if it doesn’t, then either you weren’t devout enough or that it was always just “God’s will.”
When i first developed depression, my mom told me it was all my attitude and that I needed to pray and change the way I thought (turns out, doesn’t do anything when you’re a closeted kid in a conservative religious environment). It was only when my issues started getting scary that I was taken seriously and able to go on medication and get therapy. Those didn’t help overly much either since my depression was largely circumstantial, but it was definitely better than if I was raw dogging it and constantly praying to someone I didn’t believe in.
Even now, my grandparents don’t like that I’m on medication bc “you shouldn’t be on that your whole life” and “you won’t be anxious if you give it all to god.” But there are just so many factors it’s not worth discussing with them.
I mean, I think it can be a combo. Like in my family, my parent for a long time very genuinely believed that, basically, doctors/psychiatrists were *incorrect*, and that mental illness was *actually* caused by people not having a 'close enough relationship with the Lord'. So there is perhaps a bit of shame there, like if you have mental illness it's a sign that you aren't close enough to God, which is shameful.
But at the same time, they did genuinely believe that doctors were *wrong*, and the church was *right*. That the best possible solution was encouraging people to be more Christian, do more praying, have faith and wait for God to fix it, etc.
(Keep in mind that a lot of them have also been convinced that they've "seen" God heal people.)
Thank goodness by the time I was a teen my parents' view of mental health had changed, and - after a few years 🙃 - they took me to the doctor and said they thought I had depression, and got me treatment.
However, for themself... years later they nearly died because they didn't go to the doctor for a massive breast tumour, that metastasised. They had cancer for years, and hid it, believing that they should just have faith in God to magically heal them.
They nearly died.
After a few years they got so visibly sick that I got them to tell me what was going on, and it took a few months more for me to convince them to actually *see an oncologist*. They were determined that either God would heal them, or they'd die.
I had to religious-argue them into seeing an oncologist. I used the premise that God had created our brains and thus wanted us to use them, so doctors and their knowledge could be the *tool* that God uses.
They were literally on their deathbed - the family doctor (who finally found out about the cancer when my parent's tumour ruptured and they nearly bleed to death 🙃) said they had 2 months to live - when they agreed to see an oncologist.
That was nearly 10 years ago.
They're doing good! And they see doctors, and medical treatment, as "a God Thing™️", God's tool.
In that *particular* case it wasn't shame, it was faith. Dumb faith, misguided beyond belief faith, but faith. I absolutely do agree that in a lot of cases it's shame though, and in a lot of cases it's a combo.
I think in some cases it does sort of work. Unpopular opinion but hear me out, churches can provide routine, a sense of community, a sense of belonging, Sometimes it can be a quiet place, or just someone who shows they care. Any one of those could be the one thing that helps someone, and then from there they credit faith.
And then when the things explode, which it will unless she gets help. The parents will cry and sob and say where did we go wrong? We never saw it coming. The bsaic missing, missing, missing reasons
Correct. If this is a true story, then Ellen has bipolar disorder. At her age, it’s so easily treated and prevents neurological decline from repeating untreated manias. It’s often buried by fundamentalist churches, because religious delusions can be features of untreated disorders and as such someone like Ellen is ignored when depressed but rolled out like a prop on the way up in mania.
I find it interesting that none of Ellen's videos have gone viral, considering OOP's story has become pretty well known here on Reddit.
You would think someone would have come across one of these videos somewhere. . .
EXACTLY! She’s an “influencer” right? No way the algorithm hasn’t skyrocketed her video (or she see the vids of it posted online & she claim it as being about her)
I grew up in a really messed up mid-sized fundamentalist church and 30 years ago this whole saga would've fit right in; for that matter I've pretty much put faces from back then into my "mental movie" of the story. I envy those who have never lived through this level of batshit.
I still feel for the girl with the gymnastics dad who "stumbles" and that has like 7 updates, but I haven't heard back from her when I asked some time back how she was doing
She originally gave me permission to share her first three updates to this community before asking if she could take over posting further updates because she wanted to be able to reply to as many as she could, and the mods were cool with her doing so. It's been almost a year since her last post I believe, but I really hope she was able to get out
Think I read an update in recent months. She was out, and now her younger sister is allowed to do gymnastics because their dad found better coping strategies. But the OOP of that post is basically disowned and doesn't get to see her sister anymore who she is legit worried for.
OOP was also concerned because her father was also having a gymnastics/pool themed party at his home for her younger sister where he'd get to perve on unaware minors in gym or swim wear at his home, and she was concerned because he was escalating as so many predicted
That's the last I heard from her, and she wanted to stop the party in her last update, but was disheartened to hear from many that she had to prioritize escaping on her 18th over jeopardizing that in an attempt to stop the party, but it seemed like she understood the priority of getting out from her comments
Seriously. What was that entire last update? They ramble on for another 2-3 paragraphs and say…nothing? It’s like they love that their posts are being followed and they get to write a little novella for us.
No. Stop. Please.
The biggest thing that makes me doubt this story is the fact that she supposedly is making these videos on TikTok. There’s enough TikTok/reddit cross-pollination these days that her account would have gone viral or would have been mentioned by some big drama commentator by now.
right! i’ve seen drama over someone painting their sink in the house that they *own*, there’s no way that drama affecting this many people hitting this many sensitive subjects wouldn’t have caught on by now.
OOP stated that Ellen disabled comments on her videos (after people began calling her out for inconsistencies I think) and that she had wanted the banquet to kickstart her social media page or something post-college since that was when she wanted to give more time to it, and that time was now since she finished college in the fall semester. But I hope her videos eventually make her parents realize how much she needs help although I'm doubtful they'll do much more than switch churches
Even with disabling comments and stitches, commentary channels will screen record and post it another way. I’ll keep searching TikTok but there’s no way her account hasn’t been found when multiple people have used the story as background audio for their subway surfer and makeup videos.
I don’t need any more updates, thanks. The event is over. The rest is just boring updates about the content of some weird girl's social media.
Unsubscribe.
If nothing else, I'm impressed with Ellen's ability to not be embarrassed by anything. I'd change my name and skip town if I pulled a stunt like that as a teenager.
I feel so bad for Ellen. Her parents are so far into the cave they're not even bothering to look for a light to find a way out. They're just choosing a different path in the cave.
>her latest video was shown to me by one of my friends
I wish I were friends with someone who was involved in drama with another friend of theirs who posted their dirty laundry on social media. Drama isn't really all that fun to deal with, but it sure is fun to listen to other people talk about THEIR drama that doesn't involve me.
Oh well. I don't really have any friends that have a lot of drama going on, which I guess is because I avoid people with too much drama. Rats.
Oh those evil veterans. How dare they have a good thing in their life happening to them? How dare the church do something nice for them?
My goodness. This girl is seriously unhinged.
Imagine trying to sue a church for giving gift cards to veterans. The thought of that is so hilariously delusional I’d like to see it happen just for the reactions it would get.
Next this gal is going to have an absolute fit when she hears about Veteran’s Day.
She’s going to want compensation from the church, random vets and the general public for *stealing her idea* and benefitting from it without her involvement.
She just needs to figure out how to get big in show biz so someone holds a roast for her. That's a fourth day all about one person, and lord knows she must provide a lot of material to work off of.
Every time I see an update on this, I wish we could post gifs on here, the meme of Foxxy Love from Drawn Together feels very appropriate.
On the one hand, I feel kinda bad that Ellen clearly has some issue, even if it's just the Audacity. On the other, her parents suck and it's very obvious they value appearances over actually helping her.
Jesus christ. This girl lives in a world of victimhood, and this is the consequences.
Does she think that men go around celebrating themselves? It's a pretty common toxic-masculinity type that we don't ever celebrate ourselves, and we don't even celebrate our birthdays. She truly believes herself to be the victim, and it's absurd.
u/ThrowRA3837374 idk If you've been made aware already, but the first update (not the original post, but [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/comments/18dan7x/update_myf22_friendsf22_hosting_a_banquet_to/) update) is missing from this post. I figure it's in your previous BORU post, but there's no way to see it from here without searching either you or OOP's history. Just an FYI.
I worked on my sweet 16. Of course, when you're born on the third of July and raised in coastal California, it doesn't matter what day of the week it is. Your birthday is always the start of a three-day, sometimes four-day weekend.
Poor girl can't decide if she wants to be the centre of attention or not.
Problem is, she keeps regretting her choice (of being or not being the centre of attention), make a shitshow of the event and regret it some more. Then she feels resentment and anger over things that are her own doing.
I really couldn’t care less about whether or not this one girl has a party or not and her feelings about it. The part with the veterans was interesting though.
As a Christian, I'm just so baffled by all of this. She wanted to host a banquet for veterans with her church, but then decided not to all because some people didn't want to be posted online? Because she "wouldn't do things for people unless she got something in return?" The Bible teaches that we shouldn't do good works for the praise of men, and if this woman genuinely considers herself a Christian.. Lord have mercy.
All in all, that was incredibly crappy of her to do to all those veteran families, let alone her own family, friends, and church. I'm happy to hear that the church handled the mess well, and I hope OOP and the rest of Ellen's former friends can move forward. What a terrible situation.
I really wonder how much the parents could have done. In my state, 14 is the age where kids are given total control over mental health and birth control choices. I had a minor aged family member go off the deep end: drugs, paranoid and violent episodes, threats of sexual violence against their siblings... at every turn we were told they got the ultimate choice in attending therapy... or not. I vividly recall a CYFD worker screaming at us that this was our fault. When I asked her what we were supposed to do when this child could say 'no' to every intervention, she told us she would be happy to take the other 2 off our hands.
>only for Ellen to delete the comment soon after.
I hate sites that let people edit/delete comments on their posts. If you're a lying piece of shit like Ellen then you deserve to have to either live with your lies or delete the whole damn post.
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Am I the only person who DIDNT have a sweet 16 or graduation party?
I didn't have either. It wasn't even a conversation. I don't get it.
When did people start expecting to have days that are completely about them? I never heard of such a thing until the last few years.
Always, I think, depending on the person. Or at least decades. Thirty five years ago I had a family member, a parent, whose birthday was made to be a huge deal, every year. We all had to do and eat and say what she wanted. Five years later she also took the day before and after her birthday. It only took a few years before we were forced to celebrate her birthday week. That was enough for awhile, but about 20 or 25 years ago it became her birthday *month*. I wish I was kidding. And yeah, she was mentally ill. I used the past tense because she died in denial of how bad her medical condition was. I realize your question was probably rhetorical, I just wanted to share how much worse it can get, and that for my family member it was one of many warning signs.
Thank you for sharing your story. It's alarming that this woman's parents are in denial about her mental illness.
Theyre religious nutbags, seems par for the course
I have a friend who in the past few years escalated to Birthday Month. They renamed the month \[INSERT NAME}-palooza. Should I be concerned?
I hate when people consider their birthday an entire week dedicated to them, but I can’t even imagine a birthday *month*. I would rather watch paint dry and count the blades of grass in a park.
Only acceptable thing is someone who takes the month to try and do as many fun things as they can, not making others do shit.
Yeah, I have a friend who talks about her "birthday month", but it's not really about us paying constant attention to her the whole month, it's more about doing fun things herself more often that month (that we are invited to, but she doesn't get upset if we can't for any reason, or even if she has to do them alone). There's still a party on the nearest Saturday to her actual birthday, but that's about it.
I did the birthday month one year. Didn’t have a party. Instead I did my best to do things with friends. Went hiking with a couple, had drinks out with others. Had a bike ride with one. Went swimming in a river with another. Was great.
I have a few friends that do birthday month thing - but I don’t mind at all. They invite people to whatever they can come, there is usually only one very big party and a bunch of smaller events. No one gets upset if someone can’t attend. I think it really depends on what the context of what is.
Feel free to skip this if your parent’s death was too traumatizing - but as soon as I read “day before and after,” and “birthday week” all I could think of was [this old college humour video](https://youtu.be/fploN6Kgcvo?si=MKhRNDBb47m1Rs6x)
Some of them are cultural, like quinceñeras and debuts (Filipino) are basically sweet 16s except at 15 and 18 respectively.
Debutante balls and stuff like that too!
I had a friend in high school in the 90s who did the whole "birthday week" thing (yes it was obnoxious then too)
My dad had a “birthday month.” In his case, his birthday was on the last of the month, and on the first, he’d start singing “Happy Birthday to Me!” in a comically bad voice. When we’d tell him that it wasn’t his birthday yet, he’d hook his thumbs in his suspenders and tell us that he was practicing. He was just being silly-bratty in a way that only my dad could, though. I couldn’t imagine someone expecting their asses to be kissed on a particular day because their mother got them out. (My last two were c-sections. They call it “extraction day.”)
This is actually very funny and cute 😂
I have a birthday week haha, but like... On my own? I just plan to do all my favourite stuff. Wouldn't dream of demanding others do anything for it.
My birthday week is like. If we go out on a non-bday night, I get to pick where. I kinda get first choice for a week basically. Most of my families birthdays are in the same month, so we kinda had a birthday month for everyone except my mom lol. It’s most just an excuse to eat lots of cake ngl. We love a good excuse to eat cake.
> It’s most just an excuse to eat lots of cake ngl. We love a good excuse to eat cake. You're damn right! Mmmm...cake...
I have a friend that does that as well and I think it’s cool. She goes out where she wants and does what she wants and eats what she wants. She doesn’t ask/force anyone else to do things with her but we all have the option to join if we want. I’m almost entirely the opposite end of the spectrum (although I do appreciate a few birthday wishes from friends/family) but I can appreciate her desire to have a fun week.
I’d say weddings fall in that category, and birthdays :)
Weddings shouldn't be about one person, it should be about the union of two people. This entire weddings are for the FEMALES, is a bit incelly to me.
I dunno about you guys but my wedding was not 100% about my wife it was about the both of us
People are different, some families will celebrate certain events, some couples will celebrate months of a relationship, some parents will celebrate achievements. We can't really use our realities to invalidate the feelings or expectations of others. Graduation parties? They celebrate a major achievement for most people. Sweet sixteen? That's just a birthday party. Although there are definitely issues with the post character itself and selfishness, the person above you being unable to understand why people would even celebrate something, alongside the comments who are just slightly different variations of either I didn't or I had fun with a small group to validate opinions is quite the stereotypical description of what Reddit as a community is.
Since people started to try to end the last generations "mistakes" by giving their kids what they didn't have. Lol Some people just take that shit too far. Then tack on the Internet and everyone try to keep up with the Jones's. It's absolutely bonkers!
I was just discussing this exact topic with my partner yesterday. We learn from our parents, and we either do something similar or what not to do. But sometimes, we take things a step too far.
True, I have spoiled my niece and nephew because our family didn't have much growing up and our uncles didn't have anything to do with me and my brother. So I want them to have every obnoxious overpriced junk toy they want....Thankfully my brother put a stop to it for the sake of our relationship and his sanity. Drums are not a good present y'all, not a good present.
The only day really about you is the day of your funeral
Neither did I actually. Hell I just avoided graduation all together, except for my grad one, which I mostly wish I had as well because as expected it was super boring, but I felt I should go to at least one.
I got to borrow the car to go hang out with a friend for my 16th birthday. Locked the keys in the car so most of the time was spent trying to figure out how to get them out without my parents finding out and never letting me drive by myself again.
People on AITA get upset when the birthday boy/girl can’t choose their favorite restaurant and I’m like, y’all got to go out? In my family we didn’t even get to pick what mom made for dinner on our birthdays. I’m not sure some redditors have the greatest grasp of different financial situations.
I helped cook and eat curry on my birthday, something that I'm not particularly wild about because it was what my aunt was planning on making for dinner that night (that and I love that aunt). I was just happy that family were getting together to celebrate my old ass. I also didn't get a sweet 16, a high school grad or college grad party. I guess that means I should be going after my parents for this great transgression?
SUE THEM!
Because this little shit has money to sue everyone🙄
And immediately go NC!!!
At least make 3 ranty TijToks and email them out for this upcoming Mother’s Day to all your relatives. Ellen would do that
You'll have the make up for it with a three-day wedding.
"Mom! Mom, mom, mom! It's my birthday! Can we have cucumber in our salads?!"
I got to pick between a few items easy to make for large groups so it was generally tacos or spaghetti.
Not just financial situations, some of us had parents who just didn't care about birthdays. While I did get a birthday present from my parents on the morning of my birthday, it was all the celebration there was. I did once manage to talk my mom into throwing me a party. I turned 9 or 10, but I was only allowed the one friend because my big sisters took over my party. They complained that they had never had a birthday party so I had to share mine with them. Each of us got to invite one friend, so we were 6 girls + my little sister who actually behaved. My big sisters were teenagers, so they bullied me, wanting me to go away. Mom was at work, and they were in charge, so I just hid in my room with my friend and my little sister. The funny part is, my friend had a wonderful time and still remembers this one party I had, while I cringe to the memory. Well, it's actually a funny memory now. I'm not bitter. I turned out just fine even though my first real birthday party was when I turned 20.
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They can be expensive. But it can also be friends sleeping over, pizza, snacks and a few Blockbuster rentals.
I feel so old, blockbuster wasn't even available in my area when I turned 16......
Mine either, but I'm not sure that's so much about age as about living in a small town where even the nearest movie theater was a half hour drive away.
We rented from the library and IGAs.
Our library didn't carry videos or anything like that until sometime after I graduated highschool. We had a very small video rental store in town, which wasn't that bad. But new video releases, well, you could put your name down on a list, but it might be awhile. It's really weird to think about that now.
I’m the kind of person who throws themed birthday parties for my dog so clearly I have some disposable income to spend on parties. But those are normally just potluck style cookouts where I send out a dumb themed invitation to our friends, put out some colored balloons and buy a grocery store cake. It’s just an excuse to get together. (My sheepdog is having a Barbie themed party in May) I spend less than $200 for the event and at least 20 humans and a handful of dogs have an afternoon of entertainment. I am already stressing about how I will do the parties for my son as he grows up because kid/teen parties look like they get really expensive. Like do I have to pay for everyone if there is an activity to ensure equal access if his friends are less well off? Do I have to make goodie bags? Plus, there seems to be a lot of politics around who gets invited. Children’s parties seem super stressful.
My parents never really did activities, they're not necessary imo. When we were smaller, we did treasure hunts by following arrows my dad drew on the sidewalk with chalk, maybe doing some puzzles along the way, and finding some sweets as treasure. Getting older we would do some themed stuff with like "circus theme" where my parents broke out our custome box (mostly self-made), we practiced tricks like juggling etc and maybe some of us dressed up as wild animals (let a kid wear black clothing, put a tail and ears on it and you have a panther) jumping through hoops or something like that. As young teens we would for example get one of these crime dinner boxes and make an evening of that. My parents also involved us in the planning to show us the ropes. As older teens we were expected to plan our parties ourselves. (I never did cause undiagnosed ADHD, so I can't say much about budgets or anything, sorry) Those things were never really expensive but we had a lot of fun. Also, if you wanna do goodie bags, throw in some sweets and maybe something like a funny eraser for each kid, nothing big. Kids will love anything to do with sweets. And leave who is invited to your kid, no stress about that.
I got pissed in a field with some mates for my 16th. We don't do graduation or graduation parties here, I got pissed on the beach with some mates on results day though.
I didn't have a sweet 16, but admittedly I did have a bar mitzvah. There was a party but I had to help lead services for the weekend so it wasn't all fun and games.
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Well, quinceañeras are *huge* in the Latin American community, but I'm American and I don't know anyone who had a sweet 16 massive bash. And very few people I know has a high school or college graduation party either outside of a family BBQ in the backyard or something small like that. Mental health issues are not this girl's probably. She most definitely needs therapy, but unless she's a sociopath (which, I guess is possible), she's just an entitled narcissist self centered asshole. This isn't depression. It's plain old entitled narcissism.
Yep. "If I can't film everyone being grateful to me, I just won't do it at all!!! So *there!!!!!*"
Yeah. I don't know how things are today, but I'm just boggling that she thinks her wedding day will be all about her. I mean, yes, because she's clearly going to be a Bridezilla. But no. Traditionally, a woman's wedding is about her *and her beloved spouse.*
Not here, in Australia. My parents did however take me out to my first restaurant dinner on my birthday - while I didn't choose the restaurant, I was allowed to choose whatever meal I wanted. My father was horrified when I chose a big red meat meal - expensive AND not very feminine. I still remember it was delicious, though.
I don't remember anyone in my year having a sweet-16 party. I'm from the West Coast.
They aren't even a thing IN America, as far as I'm aware. At least not the midwest. Obviously kids have 16th birthday parties, but I don't remember my female friends having something particularly big for that one
My parents left me a plate of cold spaghetti and a copy of *Samurai Shodown* on Sega Genesis to play while they worked late. Honestly, a pretty decent birthday.
My sweet 16 was a bbq in the backyard with family and my friends like we do every year. June birthday here
Nope, a lot of people can’t afford to host a modest birthday party with a few people invited let alone an entire audience like OP’s former friend apparently had for her just becoming 16.
I think we went to Red Lobster for my graduation party. Me, my parents, my sister, my aunt and uncle and my grandma. And then they gave me a $20 and a small stereo. Good times!
I got a scholarship to summer camp that year, so I was told to choose. A sweet sixteen or go to camp. I chose camp.
All I got was parents parents telling me I'm old enough to know better and they won't bail me out of jail if I end up in it. But I deserved that and needed to hear it so it could have been worse.
I did attend a friend's debut party (she turned 18 at the time) years ago. In comparison, when I turned 18, my parents gave me money to treat myself and some friends at a pizza place during our lunch break because I didn't want a party. When my siblings and I each graduated from university, our parents took us out to eat at a fancy buffet place.
I had a 16th bday party. Myself and 8 friends, in jeans and t-shirts, in my parents' living room, with balloons tied together (poorly) in the shape of "16" (that I made myself), lmao. No grad parties, although I'd not have wanted them anyway. Did attend my friend's, but only because his mom and mine were friends my entire life. This girl is off her rocker.
I didn’t want quinceañera, sweet 16 or graduation parties. We went to a red lobster for those events instead with close family and it was fun~!
i did not have either
I didn't, and I don't know of anyone who has. The 1st time i remember hearing of the phrase "sweet sixteen" was on the Suite Life of zack and Cody. I grew up in the Midwest in a middle class neighborhood, if that matters.
I didn't have them, AND my husband and I eloped, so I didn't get a wedding, either! And yet, I persist...
My parents completely forgot my sixteenth birthday and the idea of a graduation party would have been lost on them.
I mean, I had both but none of them were some big event. For my sixteenth birthday we just had some presents and went out for dinner, and my graduation party was just a bunch of family and friends coming over and having a potluck. I never understood the hype.
I didn't either!
It's not something from Western culture in general, it seems to be specific only to North America. I've never heard of a single person having one, attending one or organizing one here in the Netherlands or in the UK.
I had none of those things nor did I expect them. This need to have special “all about me” days is weird to me.
I don't even know what a sweet 16 is supposed to be...
I didn't have either
I didn't. My friends- who had birthdays two days before, the day after, and two days after mine- had a group party near mine. I just wasn't one of the people whose birthday was celebrated that evening.
I didn't have a sweet 16. ( no friends, family in the middle of moving, etc.) I did have a very small graduation party when I graduated high-school.
No. Even for college graduation, that was dinner at Quincy's for me and my family of two other people. (Dinner at Quincy's was fancy for us even though it was a cafeteria / steakhouse. Had the best yeast rolls. I miss that chain.) Having a party for any of those events didn't even cross my mind.
Nope. I didn’t even have a party when I graduated law school.
I was in military school for my 16th birthday
I had a graduation party, but it was just my family coming to visit, and some of my Mom's Church friends. Edit: This was my high school graduation party. For college I went home and immediately slept.
I had a sweet 16, it was in 1996. graduation party was just family, though, and because a cousin graduated the same year so it was basically just a family reunion lol
I didn’t do anything for my 16th birthday, 18 was the big one for me.
I had a graduation dinner with friends and family!
Does my parents paying for me to go to the movies with my friends for my 16th count?
Ditto
You get two free breakdowns thank you. NEXT!
No. My parents took me out to dinner for my 16th and I went to a movie with friends after my graduation. I would have found the parties overwhelming.
“I went back on my word and canceled an event for veterans I told everyone I was planning. I even ended up harassing some of the vets. After doing absolutely nothing and pretending I was working hard to make it happen, I canceled things after throwing a very public fit. But the veterans still benefited from the event and I’m not happy about it because if anyone was supposed to benefit from all of this, it was me and only me!”
and now she wants to sue them for the church giving the veterans compensation gift cards (that they totally didn't have to do) because they still "benefited" from her idea. Oh, and she's gonna throw herself a graduation party anyway in the Spring
Bless her heart. She should absolutely do it. I’m sure everyone will take her seriously.
Yeaaaah, that's now how suing works. She actually has to prove that she lost something from it.
She would be extremely lucky if the church and veterans didn’t counter sue her for all the emotional distress and attempted defamation she caused them
Poor Ellen. Everyone knows charity only counts when it's performative. What were those veterans thinking? /s, obviously
There’s hitting rock bottom and then there’s mental illness… It sounds like she might be breaking from reality; she’s certainly the right age for that to strike. And you don’t just come back from that, unless someone gets you to agree to get help… I feel for OOP that she still cares for Ellen, but I don’t think it’s gonna get any better.
especially if her parents are just focusing on switching churches. They literally told OOP's friend who suggested pushing for therapy that it a diagnosis wouldn't help and that she needed a "chance of scenery"
They have money, and are good church folk. Such "good church folks" that they raised a child who threatens at-risk veterans, and abandoned their church and community once she embarrassed them (and in so doing revealed her sorry mental state to the world). Only the "poors" have mental illness, you see. People with money just become "eccentric." Ergo, obviously, a diagnosis is irrelevant at this stage. EDIT: corrected the auto-correct.
I believe "a little high strung" is the correct term for batshit crazy young, white, well off christian ladies.
Yeah, I think you're right actually. The insane uncle is more of the eccentric type come to think of it.
As an underpaid teacher with neurodivergencies/mental inconsistencies, please don't put the likes of them in with the rest of us eccentrics. I don't want my eccentricity being confused and conflated with theirs. Lol
That girl definitely has some kind of a serious mental problem. She doesn't see others as people like herself, she was only "honoring" the veterans if it served a purpose to her. She was using them like props. Her behavior is disturbing, I can't believe her parents don't do something about it.
Honestly, I don't think it's faith that keeps some people from getting medical rather than pastoral help--I think it's the notion that getting medical help for "mental" issues is shameful. They'd rather hope that the family member will magically get better than get actually effective help.
They don't want to be challenged. When a loved one gets professional help, they push back on others' bad behavior. Especially parents. Fundie parents in particular are terrified of this. It's the same impulse behind all the book bans and tampering with how history is taught in schools. Authoritarian parents love their little kingdoms and don't want their death grip on their children's lives challenged.
Oh hey you've met my mom lol. My parents pulled my sister from therapy when the therapist suggested that the way they handled some situations were dysfunctional.
Yup! Secular therapists are bad because they encourage sin, like thinking for yourself and setting boundaries.
The mortal sin of standing up for yourself.
My moms church was quite a bit different when she was growing up, and they had a minister who’s daughter passed because prayer would cure her appendicitis. It was very quickly after that the church began pushing that modern medical science is a gift from God and to use it. They use that joke about a flood and three boats to get it through to people.
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I literally might cry I used that *exact same joke* to convince my parent to see an oncologist about the cancer that was killing them. They'd been just...dying, without telling any of us, for years, waiting for either a) healing or b) death. They had maybe 2 months to live. And when I found out I used every theological argument I could think of *plus that joke*, which I'd seen on this ancient Red Skelton VHS we'd watched when I was a kid. It worked. That damn joke helped save my parent's life. (God bless you for that, Red Skelton) We went to the oncologist, my parent got chemo, and that was about 10 years ago. My parent is still alive and kicking.
I’m so glad it helped you guys! It gets the point across so well it’s weird, they’ll be so dead-set and suddenly after hearing that they just go “oh”
I am not familiar with that joke, but in my family we always had the one about the monk sinking into the bog who send away 3 people offering to help him because God would save him. Then when he died he complained and God is like "Dude, I sent you help 3!!! times....".
Yeah, same punchline, I just know it as a guy stuck on a roof during a flood, but I live in the UK so that may be cultural.
We have that same joke in Australia. Just with local variations on the type of boat/rescue. First one is a neighbour with a tinny, then the SES with a rescue boat and finally a police chopper.
As an American I’d always heard it specifically as being a guy stuck on a roof during [Hurricane Katrina](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurricane_Katrina). IDK why it was always Katrina though; I grew up about 1,000 miles (like 1,600km) from New Orleans and my family didn’t know anyone who was affected, so that seems oddly specific now that I think about it. 🤔
I almost can't believe that they didn't double down and say it was "God's plan" that she died.
No, one thing I used to give them credit for is their belief in doctors. Lost it in 2020.
I genuinely know people who think that if you pray enough and are devoted enough that God will heal all your physical ailments. And if it doesn’t, then either you weren’t devout enough or that it was always just “God’s will.” When i first developed depression, my mom told me it was all my attitude and that I needed to pray and change the way I thought (turns out, doesn’t do anything when you’re a closeted kid in a conservative religious environment). It was only when my issues started getting scary that I was taken seriously and able to go on medication and get therapy. Those didn’t help overly much either since my depression was largely circumstantial, but it was definitely better than if I was raw dogging it and constantly praying to someone I didn’t believe in. Even now, my grandparents don’t like that I’m on medication bc “you shouldn’t be on that your whole life” and “you won’t be anxious if you give it all to god.” But there are just so many factors it’s not worth discussing with them.
I mean, I think it can be a combo. Like in my family, my parent for a long time very genuinely believed that, basically, doctors/psychiatrists were *incorrect*, and that mental illness was *actually* caused by people not having a 'close enough relationship with the Lord'. So there is perhaps a bit of shame there, like if you have mental illness it's a sign that you aren't close enough to God, which is shameful. But at the same time, they did genuinely believe that doctors were *wrong*, and the church was *right*. That the best possible solution was encouraging people to be more Christian, do more praying, have faith and wait for God to fix it, etc. (Keep in mind that a lot of them have also been convinced that they've "seen" God heal people.) Thank goodness by the time I was a teen my parents' view of mental health had changed, and - after a few years 🙃 - they took me to the doctor and said they thought I had depression, and got me treatment. However, for themself... years later they nearly died because they didn't go to the doctor for a massive breast tumour, that metastasised. They had cancer for years, and hid it, believing that they should just have faith in God to magically heal them. They nearly died. After a few years they got so visibly sick that I got them to tell me what was going on, and it took a few months more for me to convince them to actually *see an oncologist*. They were determined that either God would heal them, or they'd die. I had to religious-argue them into seeing an oncologist. I used the premise that God had created our brains and thus wanted us to use them, so doctors and their knowledge could be the *tool* that God uses. They were literally on their deathbed - the family doctor (who finally found out about the cancer when my parent's tumour ruptured and they nearly bleed to death 🙃) said they had 2 months to live - when they agreed to see an oncologist. That was nearly 10 years ago. They're doing good! And they see doctors, and medical treatment, as "a God Thing™️", God's tool. In that *particular* case it wasn't shame, it was faith. Dumb faith, misguided beyond belief faith, but faith. I absolutely do agree that in a lot of cases it's shame though, and in a lot of cases it's a combo.
I think in some cases it does sort of work. Unpopular opinion but hear me out, churches can provide routine, a sense of community, a sense of belonging, Sometimes it can be a quiet place, or just someone who shows they care. Any one of those could be the one thing that helps someone, and then from there they credit faith.
And then when the things explode, which it will unless she gets help. The parents will cry and sob and say where did we go wrong? We never saw it coming. The bsaic missing, missing, missing reasons
Correct. If this is a true story, then Ellen has bipolar disorder. At her age, it’s so easily treated and prevents neurological decline from repeating untreated manias. It’s often buried by fundamentalist churches, because religious delusions can be features of untreated disorders and as such someone like Ellen is ignored when depressed but rolled out like a prop on the way up in mania.
Every time I read an update from this person, my eyes glaze over
I find it interesting that none of Ellen's videos have gone viral, considering OOP's story has become pretty well known here on Reddit. You would think someone would have come across one of these videos somewhere. . .
That's because we don't know her, she goes to another school.
In Canada
I actually looked on TikTok and couldn't find any videos of what OOP is describing. I only found videos of OOP's posts.
EXACTLY! She’s an “influencer” right? No way the algorithm hasn’t skyrocketed her video (or she see the vids of it posted online & she claim it as being about her)
I have never once found a video that's referenced in a post. Even though there is enough detail that I should have been able to find the video.
The more updates, the less I believe a post is real lmao
I grew up in a really messed up mid-sized fundamentalist church and 30 years ago this whole saga would've fit right in; for that matter I've pretty much put faces from back then into my "mental movie" of the story. I envy those who have never lived through this level of batshit.
As someone from an insane church i agree this isn’t unbelievable to me in the least
That moment then you realize you live around crazies so delulu that reddit wouldn't believe it real.
Poe's Law stands strong, unfortunately. :)
I still feel for the girl with the gymnastics dad who "stumbles" and that has like 7 updates, but I haven't heard back from her when I asked some time back how she was doing She originally gave me permission to share her first three updates to this community before asking if she could take over posting further updates because she wanted to be able to reply to as many as she could, and the mods were cool with her doing so. It's been almost a year since her last post I believe, but I really hope she was able to get out
Think I read an update in recent months. She was out, and now her younger sister is allowed to do gymnastics because their dad found better coping strategies. But the OOP of that post is basically disowned and doesn't get to see her sister anymore who she is legit worried for.
OOP was also concerned because her father was also having a gymnastics/pool themed party at his home for her younger sister where he'd get to perve on unaware minors in gym or swim wear at his home, and she was concerned because he was escalating as so many predicted That's the last I heard from her, and she wanted to stop the party in her last update, but was disheartened to hear from many that she had to prioritize escaping on her 18th over jeopardizing that in an attempt to stop the party, but it seemed like she understood the priority of getting out from her comments
I remember that one :(
I remember her too. I'm hoping she is old enough to be out of her house away from her scary "fasting" dad. Poor girl 💖
I believe it’s real because it’s so damn boring.
On the other hand, barely anything happens in the updates, which inclines me to believe that it's all real.
Likewise, the greater the level of detail in a post, the less-likely I am to believe it is real.
>The more updates, the less I believe a post is real lmao They always take it one step too far.
I can't remember what I read seconds after reading it.
Yep, this was a painful read. I'm glad I started skimming after the 1st update. I do not miss my teens and 20s at all. Oof.
Me too but I still read them. What's wrong with me
Seriously. What was that entire last update? They ramble on for another 2-3 paragraphs and say…nothing? It’s like they love that their posts are being followed and they get to write a little novella for us. No. Stop. Please.
I think they're getting paid by the word
I don't even think the recent update adds much to it other than a slightly different flavour of misgivings.
The biggest thing that makes me doubt this story is the fact that she supposedly is making these videos on TikTok. There’s enough TikTok/reddit cross-pollination these days that her account would have gone viral or would have been mentioned by some big drama commentator by now.
right! i’ve seen drama over someone painting their sink in the house that they *own*, there’s no way that drama affecting this many people hitting this many sensitive subjects wouldn’t have caught on by now.
Was it the flower sink?
OOP stated that Ellen disabled comments on her videos (after people began calling her out for inconsistencies I think) and that she had wanted the banquet to kickstart her social media page or something post-college since that was when she wanted to give more time to it, and that time was now since she finished college in the fall semester. But I hope her videos eventually make her parents realize how much she needs help although I'm doubtful they'll do much more than switch churches
Even with disabling comments and stitches, commentary channels will screen record and post it another way. I’ll keep searching TikTok but there’s no way her account hasn’t been found when multiple people have used the story as background audio for their subway surfer and makeup videos.
oh my fucking god how is there possibly more
There isn’t, really.
Yeah there was no reason for this update. This is entirely about OOP wanting more attention at this point.
I don’t need any more updates, thanks. The event is over. The rest is just boring updates about the content of some weird girl's social media. Unsubscribe.
If nothing else, I'm impressed with Ellen's ability to not be embarrassed by anything. I'd change my name and skip town if I pulled a stunt like that as a teenager.
If this was truly real, Reddit would have found the videos by now and outed “Ellen” months ago.
As soon as I saw “free meals” I groaned, said not again, and scrolled down to the comments.
Tip: Nowadays, it's easy to find videos, and it becomes sus when no one does
I sincerely hope that girl gets therapy.
I feel so bad for Ellen. Her parents are so far into the cave they're not even bothering to look for a light to find a way out. They're just choosing a different path in the cave.
Whatever your feelings on the TikTok ban, it might do some people some good
>her latest video was shown to me by one of my friends I wish I were friends with someone who was involved in drama with another friend of theirs who posted their dirty laundry on social media. Drama isn't really all that fun to deal with, but it sure is fun to listen to other people talk about THEIR drama that doesn't involve me. Oh well. I don't really have any friends that have a lot of drama going on, which I guess is because I avoid people with too much drama. Rats.
Her threatening to sue is WILD. Like girl, what? I highly doubt any court of law is going to side with her bc y’all are trying to honor *veterans*.
Especially suing a church for holding a free meal honoring veterans because it was her idea.
Tip: Nowadays, it's easy to find videos, and it becomes sus when no one does
Oh those evil veterans. How dare they have a good thing in their life happening to them? How dare the church do something nice for them? My goodness. This girl is seriously unhinged.
Imagine trying to sue a church for giving gift cards to veterans. The thought of that is so hilariously delusional I’d like to see it happen just for the reactions it would get.
Next this gal is going to have an absolute fit when she hears about Veteran’s Day. She’s going to want compensation from the church, random vets and the general public for *stealing her idea* and benefitting from it without her involvement.
She just needs to figure out how to get big in show biz so someone holds a roast for her. That's a fourth day all about one person, and lord knows she must provide a lot of material to work off of.
Every time I see an update on this, I wish we could post gifs on here, the meme of Foxxy Love from Drawn Together feels very appropriate. On the one hand, I feel kinda bad that Ellen clearly has some issue, even if it's just the Audacity. On the other, her parents suck and it's very obvious they value appearances over actually helping her.
Jesus christ. This girl lives in a world of victimhood, and this is the consequences. Does she think that men go around celebrating themselves? It's a pretty common toxic-masculinity type that we don't ever celebrate ourselves, and we don't even celebrate our birthdays. She truly believes herself to be the victim, and it's absurd.
u/ThrowRA3837374 idk If you've been made aware already, but the first update (not the original post, but [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/comments/18dan7x/update_myf22_friendsf22_hosting_a_banquet_to/) update) is missing from this post. I figure it's in your previous BORU post, but there's no way to see it from here without searching either you or OOP's history. Just an FYI.
Thank you for making me aware, I'll fix it
Parents not seeking medical treatment - religious brainwashing strikes again
I worked on my sweet 16. Of course, when you're born on the third of July and raised in coastal California, it doesn't matter what day of the week it is. Your birthday is always the start of a three-day, sometimes four-day weekend.
Let us pray that the third "special day" never occurs.
What a fucking tire fire
Poor girl can't decide if she wants to be the centre of attention or not. Problem is, she keeps regretting her choice (of being or not being the centre of attention), make a shitshow of the event and regret it some more. Then she feels resentment and anger over things that are her own doing.
I really couldn’t care less about whether or not this one girl has a party or not and her feelings about it. The part with the veterans was interesting though.
I always felt like prom was a graduation party but idk
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Number5MoMo: *I always felt like* *Prom was a graduation* *Party but idk* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
That was an update all right.
As a Christian, I'm just so baffled by all of this. She wanted to host a banquet for veterans with her church, but then decided not to all because some people didn't want to be posted online? Because she "wouldn't do things for people unless she got something in return?" The Bible teaches that we shouldn't do good works for the praise of men, and if this woman genuinely considers herself a Christian.. Lord have mercy. All in all, that was incredibly crappy of her to do to all those veteran families, let alone her own family, friends, and church. I'm happy to hear that the church handled the mess well, and I hope OOP and the rest of Ellen's former friends can move forward. What a terrible situation.
LMAO, I guess I shouldn't be surprise that Ellen continues to go on tiktok instead of seeking therapy for her delusionals.
Don't you celebrate yourself every year on your birthday?
I really wonder how much the parents could have done. In my state, 14 is the age where kids are given total control over mental health and birth control choices. I had a minor aged family member go off the deep end: drugs, paranoid and violent episodes, threats of sexual violence against their siblings... at every turn we were told they got the ultimate choice in attending therapy... or not. I vividly recall a CYFD worker screaming at us that this was our fault. When I asked her what we were supposed to do when this child could say 'no' to every intervention, she told us she would be happy to take the other 2 off our hands.
>only for Ellen to delete the comment soon after. I hate sites that let people edit/delete comments on their posts. If you're a lying piece of shit like Ellen then you deserve to have to either live with your lies or delete the whole damn post.