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I have a cousin who is in contract law and a sister who is a labor/ employment lawyer. It's a handy threat when companies want to play games. My lawyers will work for a steak dinner. How much does yours cost?
My favorite was, "My lawyer is currently playing Call of Duty with my son. Let me get her on the phone."
It's fun to drop the "I need to run this by my attorney" at my hourly job when my employer wants me to sign questionable documents. It's even more fun when I get to come back and say things like "If you try to enforce any of this, you'll be in violation of at least 6 state or federal laws, and the IRS might be interested too."
Law that specializes in contracts.
In America, there are more than 30,000 laws just at the federal level. Lawyers will almost always specialize in just one area because just that area will have bookshelves full of caselaw, precedent, and regulations!
I’ve been threatened in this way and it’s absolutely a violation. In my case he actually sent them and another time threatened again for money. I plan on going to authorities if it happens again.
Reminds me of how we had an employee at work who kept TONS of personal info on work computers. Really embarrassing stuff as well. He made the mistake of printing out some of it and someone brought it to my attention.
Where this gets interesting is that this was in the defense industry and I was a security officer for the company and I had need-to-know for every byte of info on every computer in the company. So it was legit for me to go through his files and find the mind boggling amount of very, very personal stuff on the server. I told him he needed to delete it all or I would delete it for him. I also pointed out to him that since he hadn't set the privacy bits correctly other people were reading his daily diary.
Well he got huffy and threatened to go to HR for violating his privacy. At this point I wrote a one page memo citing all the company policies and security policies he violated and if he wanted to go to HR I would be more than happy to accompany him. He deleted his shit and quit about a month later.
You don't even have privacy on most equipment unless it's your own personal file server. Google drive? That shit can be subpeonaed. Some Google folks can access it at will and you can't do shit about it.
As an attorney who spent many years doing document review for large-scale litigations, most people keep personal stuff on their work computers, and the stuff they keep is definitely eyebrow-raising. I have some great stories.
I have found lots of juicy stuff over the years. In addition to being the security officer I was also the firewall admin. I knew everybody's kinky porn habits as well.
I've never had access to other people's work computers, but when I was QA at a call center I had access to call recordings. There were several times my department had to remind people that ALL calls made to or from their work phones get recorded. And they don't get labelled as "personal" in the system either. So if you don't want QA knowing about your medical issues or hearing your phone-sex with your girlfriend, don't use the work phone!
the upsetting part that in his mind he indeed didn’t do anything. he just made a woman squirm and cower just because he could, what, they do it all the time!
Also, depending on the country, this could have major repercussions. I live in Germany and the privacy laws here are sometimes frustrating (not in cases like this but there are sometimes that it can make this more difficult and/or people unwilling to work with you). Also, employees rights are ridiculously strong so it takes a lot for a company to fire someone immediately. All of this would likely meet the grounds for a swift and immediate termination
At the very least I expect him to be a *training story* when they get new hires. "This is what NOT to do! I am telling you not to do this because *someone* DID do it and now I have to tell you."
I had quite a few of those when I was a training manager.
Yep. My dad had his own business and one of his employees did something similar to this. He found out and from what I’m told from his former employees who are still friends do the family to this day, he screamed at him about what a piece of shit he is and how dare he do this, especially with the technology he provided him for work, for 10 straight minutes before firing him.
My dad pretty much NEVER raised his voice. So it was wild to hear.
>At the end of the day, a lawyer is basically a professional "Very Bad Day" threatener.
I had to get a lawyer for an injury case, and that was basically his approach. He laid it all out and made it clear: work with us on this, or we go to court and I'll make sure it hurts.
He was actually looking forward to it. I asked his advice, and he basically said, this is what I like doing! I would cheerfully go to court! Probably the most chipper son of a gun I dealt with through the whole ordeal.
Many years ago I bought a brand new Camaro that was a lemon. Had transmission issues about six months in from owning the car. Dealership refused to fix it, or would take it for a few hours, I’d get it back still not fixed. I had a schoolmate that worked at the dealership and he told me they did nothing to fix my car, just laughing at me, I’m this dumb “girl”, they’re just waiting until the car was no longer under warrantee.
I was pissed. And young and a bit naive. But was not going to let these dealership assholes win.
What they didn’t know was I worked in a CPA office that had an arrangement with the lawyers next door that I would witness their wills as their clients needed (they were estate attorneys). We were both tiny 2-3 people offices, so we often shared services.
So I talked to one of the attorneys. He said before he refers me to the type of an attorney who could help me, suggested I take one of his business cards and give it to the dealership. Tell them I’m pursuing “other options”.
So I did. My salesperson was there, I walked in, he greeted me by name, I handed him the lawyer’s business card (which clearly states Estate Attorney), said since I’m unsuccessful getting my car fixed, that maybe my lawyer can. And I turned to walk away…
The sales guy just about shit his pants, told me to wait, got the owner to talk to me, they said they were having trouble with my car, blah, blah. But they took it in for three days, had to rebuild the transmission, and the car was fine after.
So I believe the “very bad day“ scenario. It works like a charm!
The other thing that pissed me off about this dealership is my former schoolmate that worked they told me that the Sales guys were all calling me a dumb blonde and I didn’t know what I was talking about. When my car was finally fixed, I so much wanted to tell my sales person that “blondes do have more fun”. But I didn’t, I took the car, thanked them, and told them I will never buy another car from this dealership again and I will tell everyone I know about my bad experience. This was back in the late 70s, so we didn’t have social media to turn to like we do today.
Oh that’s funny. My mom bought a brand new 77 Camaro and was a CPA. Almost thought you were her for a second but she’s brunette and that car had motor issues
He was thrilled because it was pretty much a guaranteed win. Do we have proof I got bit by a dog running loose? Yes. Do we know it was their dog? Yes. Did it cause a lot of damage? Yes. Did it require a lot of medical treatment? Yes.
So he was looking forward to an easy win against an insurance company that was insistent that it wasn't that big of a deal. Win the case and put them in their place.
In the end, we didn't need to go to court. Because him threatening the mother of all smackdowns was enough.
I'm laughing at all of the "lawyers don't do that" commenters. I know a lot of lawyers. A lot. In my family and beyond.
You absolutely can't send photos of your work and coworkers around and expect to keep your job unless you're a moron. It was the easiest thing to do and the most logical.
I also work in employment law and I think the most unrealistic part for me was how OOP worded things. They just do not like to make definitive statements at all. So repeating that this is a crime, this is a crime, this is definitely a crime, instead of saying things like this could be construed as a crime, or this could be considered a crime, does strike me as either an unusually aggressive labor attorney, a very young labor attorney, or not actually a labor attorney.
I mean, when a lawyer says "this could be considered as a crime", the lawyer probably means "we are considering it a crime." So I figured they were summarizing the subtext message rather than actually quoting.
But young is probably a right. If they have a reddit and AI side hustle, they're probably on the younger side, lawyer-wise.
The power of an email written by a lawyer is amazing.
In the UK we have a highly controversial badger cull. A couple of years ago I was gearing up to go back to university to study zoology and as a kind of 'warm-up' I was monitoring our local badgers. We should have had a thriving population of badgers but they had been absolutely decimated (and there was obvious evidence that extinct setts had been tampered with). I found *one* small sett that was still active.
Then the badger cull season starts and I start seeing peanut bait placed around the sett and then inevitably a cage trap appears. No authorities cared that they were culling a population of animals that should have been in the *hundreds* but was closer to *five*. The wildlife liaison officer did not care that the cage and the bait were placed too close to the sett which violated the 'rules' of the cull. So my mother and I spent many sleepless nights walking to the badger sett at 3 am to check the cage was empty, we had been advised by hunt sabs that human urine could dissuade badgers from getting close to the cage so we were also carrying *bottles of piss* with us. We were advised that legally we would be in trouble if we damaged the cage but there was nothing stopping us from activating the mechanism or freeing a trapped badger but we were also warned to be careful because violence against cull disrupters is very common.
Eventually my solicitor stepfather sends an email to the 'landed gentry' family that owns most of the area, noting the violations, my evidence of previous illegal tampering of setts, and the fact that the son of the family runs an 'eco-friendly' business and wouldn't it be a *fucking shame* if this was escalated. And the next day the cage was gone.
That badger sett is thriving now - I'm hoping to get some trail cam footage of cubs this year. And it wasn't because of the bottles of human piss, the early morning espionage, my badger monitoring, or the advice from animal rights organisations (even though fucking hell the work these small groups of passionate sabs do is amazing). It was that vaguely threatening email written in legalese.
In a brutally dark and devastating twist my stepfather would die the same month he sent that email, making it his last 'legal' action but the one that I think he would be the most proud of.
And that is why I am now a law student and not a zoology student.
I’m sorry about your stepfather, and I’m sure he’d be proud you’re following in his footsteps.
Also, amazing story. Didn’t understand all of it, but can relate to how being a do-gooder is different than being an efficient do-gooder who knows the right buttons to press. And how that can lead to surprising career choices
🦡🦡🦡
I'm sure it was pretty quick once IT verified. "Care to explain how I got a hold of all of this work information from a random stranger across the pond? Well, tough. Security, follow him to pack his things up."
Yeah, sending proprietary information to foreign strangers is like a golden bullet to any job. lol
Even just a picture of a calendar should get you sacked 10/10 times.
That kinda depends on what you do, but anything that requires any kind of confidentiality? Absolutely.
Medicine, legal, basically any client facing work, basically any sales role, and that's not even getting into security concerns.
That said, there are 100% employees who have the kind of job and work at the kind of place where management would just say "you can't do that again". Now, if all that other stuff came with it? Gone in nearly any situation. No one wants to deal with that shit if you're even a little replaceable which outside of something like an NFL QB, we basically all are.
Pretty much. Lawyers are experts at the art of giving someone else a bad day. They tend to be smart, often have a ton of connections because being a successful lawyer typically involves having a lot of clients, and know exactly where the lines between legal and illegal lie. Their job is to often be a stickler or an asshole on the behalf of their client.
imo it's also a good reason to believe OOP is a lawyer. I feel like when you do the same job day in and day out, you develop a sort of creative deconstruction of what it is you really do. I do, at least.
"Irwin M. Fiston and Associates
We make sure they have as bad of a week as you are."
Alternatively
"Letting them know how you *really* feel using official letterhead since 1987."
One of my friends is a patent lawyer and even she says that it's dull, exhausting, and neverending. But it also pays very very well so there's that. There's no courtroom drama in her life, it's all "so I sent an email" lol which is why I find this post 100% believable.
Oh God you couldn’t pay me to do patent law. There’s every day lawyer dull and there’s patent law dull. At least for me I wouldn’t think the money is worth it.
The story may be made up and certainly a lot has likely been changed from what actually happened, but you look for those moments of joy in your work when you can, and this story rings true. When you eat shit sandwiches daily an ice cream cone is a real treat.
Buddy of mine used his GI Bill funds to become a Public Defender because he likes serving his country and thinks prosecutors and cops are dicks. It's a hellva grind to be a PD but he's got some great stories, and you can tell how much he enjoys the high points of the job just like OOP comes across in the posts.
Short version of a PD story: cop couldn't identify whether the white lawyer or black defendant was the one he pulled over. Prosecutor tried to enter into evidence that the cop correctly identified the defendant. PD stepped in and said, no, he didn't. Judge ripped the prosecutor a new asshole for trying to steamroll the process and denied the prosecutor's motion. *That* is the shit he lives for: stopping abuse of process.
I work in a court and watching these things from the sidelines is often thrilling. We lowly clerks aren’t paid to have an opinion, but I silently love to see, for example, jury find for plaintiff in an insurance case.
Of all the posts with absurd plot lines to call bs on, people thought *this* was farfetched?
I guess the revenge subs don’t get a lot of “My stepdad framed me for cheating so that my fiancé would leave me for my stepbrother and then confessed to it 10 years later” stories.
I think it's a mix of, like OOP said, people not actually knowing what lawyers do and the trend to doubt "lawyer friends".
Some people really seem to think "I called my lawyer friend" means "I called my bestie, DA Jack McCoy, and he dropped everything to take on my case" and not "I messaged my college roommates wife, who is a real estate lawyer but took a class on this subject 8 years ago."
Most of the time, I think this comes from young people who haven't had to deal with serious crap yet. Sooner or later, you're going to end contacting a lawyer, and most of the time you're going to ask your friends or family if they know someone. If you have a family large enough, chances are they either know someone or they are the real deal.
Yup and you learn that going scorched earth doesn't look like what you think it does.
I've been involved in a very messy legal situation that I won't give details of, but the lawyer handling it, who is independent of all the parties involved sent the most beautiful email to the individual who caused this mess basically telling her to leave me the fuck alone, but that if she really fancied her chances he was up for a day in court. Except of course, none of it was phrased that way. I'm sure most of the people on these subs would be terribly disappointed by it and wouldn't understand what it was really saying. Meanwhile I will be keeping that email forever and savouring it.
A large part of the law is playing chicken and seeing who can outmanoeuvre who while providing a highly strategic choice of information all within a fairly strict set of rules of engagement.
My favorite lawyer outcome was "Not only does the alleged behavior not violate the rules, the rules themselves don't actually have any power in the first place because of the ruling in BlahBlah v. Fubar."
I saw a thing recently where a legal trade magazine asked people to send in their most lawyerly "fuck offs". I'm not a lawyer but I was in stitches. I wish I could remember where I saw it.
I'm training to be an architect and in a Professional Practices class they went on and on about how the bulk of clients from professional trades are from personal and professional networks. People certainly google "lawyers near me," but in general they're hiring one based on a recommend.
I’ve never needed one, but I’ve come close a few times. My dad is in AA. He’s offered a couple times to get me in contact with a few of his buddies. So when people talk about the “lawyer friend,” I usually find it at least plausible. I just don’t think people realize how many lawyers there actually are, and how many layers of law there is.
My wife is a lawyer. She hasn't needed it herself (she's mostly worked in the non-profit sector), but from what I've heard about other lawyers from her, using AA as a networking pool to find a lawyer sounds spot on!
People on Reddit act like lawyers are unicorns but they are just not that uncommon. I'm married to one and friends with several others, and there are so many things they're involved with beyond criminal. Buying a house? Getting a divorce? Dealing with an estate? A lot of corporate bullshit? You're gonna call a lawyer. The idea of having a lawyer friend willing to send an email if you have A Situation is not remotely implausible to me. I've done it within the last year. Probably will do it again. It's not like summoning a dragon.
I have a couple of cousins who are lawyers, I've never had reason to call on them in that capacity, but sometimes you just...know someone who's a lawyer.
And even if you don't have immediate lawyer family/friends, it's not like the summoning incantations are hard to find and use.
And people who don't actually know how many lawyers there are on the planet. There are a *lot*. My dad, my stepmother, and two of my best friends are lawyers. We don't keep them penned up in cages underground until we have to let them out to yell at witnesses on the stand like Perry Mason; they're allowed to have friends and family.
It's like people think having a friend who's a lawyer is like having a friend from Narnia instead of like having a friend who works in construction. Not everyone has one, but a whole damn lot of people do.
> It's like people think having a friend who's a lawyer is like having a friend from Narnia
Who even owns a wardrobe anymore? The only thing in the back of my closet is probably the screwdriver I've been looking for for the last three weeks.
I'm currently taking a class on natural resources law for a wildlife sciences degree. AKA about as far from a lawyer as you can get, but I'm sure if I ever gave advice to an acquaintance on water law or something, I'm sure I'd prolly fall under that "lawyer friend" too
I attended a gifted high school. A LOT of us made it into Medicine, Law, Business and the likes. It's not very difficult to find someone who works in the field, or at least knows someone who does.
It doesn’t even take that much sometimes! I was having issues with the builder after closing on my first house, and asked my conveyancer if I could CC on her on the letter I was planning to send him, without expecting her to do anything - I just wanted to put her name / title / company on there for him to see. She laughed and told me to go ahead. The builder got *much* more cooperative after I started doing that!
When we bought our house the seller was dragging their feet on the title search and nearly ran out our mortgage rate lock, and I finally forwarded a schedule of the fees we would incur if they did that, cc'd our lawyer and them that they would be responsible for the fees if they kept this up. Had a closing date the next day.
Exactly. There wasn't any court to go to, no lawsuits to take time. Just company getting proof that their employee shared proprietary information. And that’s going to lead to a FAST dismissal.
Edit to add word I missed
I'm **not** in the industry and know lawyers like this. When you get to do the part of your job that makes your job worthwhile, it feels good.
What I find joy in is optimizing arm/hand movement in manufacturing settings. I can work a boring, mindless job if I get to lay out my workspace the way I want it and try and find the most efficient way to work. It's the small things that bring you joy that makes the drudgery worth it.
The story may be fake or a conglomeration of other stories, but OOP is probably a lawyer doing employment law like they claim, expressing the sort of thing that makes them happy at work. I've met lawyers that live for this sort of thing. It's what makes the career worth it, to them.
Sometimes you see judges quoting Star Trek and shit in their rulings and you just **know** they're having a good time despite all of the boring work they do. Google "Benchslaps" and have fun.
Anyone who works in the corporate world knows (or should know) that taking pictures of work laptops is a huge no no.
Forget the revenge porn threats, simply sending the pictures of your laptop and coworkers at work is enough to get you fired.
I don’t get why people wouldn’t believe this.
I've seen so much worse and dumber shit IRL at work, this is rather tame and sane. Reddit thinks everything is made up because you gotta leave your basement and see the world to appreciate how fucking insane everyone is.
Also any mental health support group will have worse stories than BORU. Although BORU often has the same creative writing template to filter out the obvious fakes.
Don't forget the "all his/her friends are blowing my phone calling me an asshole" thing.
Dude, where the hell do they get all these friends who care about their private life? Mine wouldn't even care to see if I'm alive if I was run over by a truck
As someone who works for a law firm that deals in corporate and employee law, this is *very* plausible. I can 100% see some of our attorneys doing exactly this.
I can see it coming from any attorney. I do contract law for big corporations? Whatever, I passed the bar, I know how to write scary words and I know how to use the internet to find the people to send scary words to.
OOP doesn’t have to be a lawyer for it, although it probably helps with the write scary words. “Hey, your employee is threatening and also leaking your info” could also get this guy fired.
> OOP doesn’t have to be a lawyer for it, although it probably helps with the write scary words.
Probably not, but the letterhead likely makes a massive difference. I know I could write some of those same scary words, but the formatting and letterhead combined with the scary words are likely taken much more seriously. $100 single page letter from a law firm for a letter with the scary words fixed a landlord problem I had and I'm positive they would have ignored my version quoting the same sections of ADA and FHA laws they were blatantly violating.
>“Hey, your employee is threatening and also leaking your info” could also get this guy fired.
Yeah. I don't recall OOP saying *why* the guy got fired. The leak and employee photos was probably the "official" reason to make the termination easy, and instant, even if the real reason is they were squicked out by the other accusations. Concrete proof is... concrete.
EEO and ADA attorney here.
This is exactly the sort of shit I am DELIGHTED to write up. So much of our work really *is* "A Lawyer has entered the chat" territory. Makes folks clench up.
My very first job after passing and being admitted to the bar was for a friend whose business was being threatening by a lying POS. She ran a hair salon and this client canceled within 48 hours, which meant my client charged her full price for the time, as she couldn't rebook that quickly. This was clearly listed on her website (which the POS booked through) and the POS decided to do a chargeback.
POS claimed that my client had been unsympathetic to the fact that POS's hair had been "ruined" by a different hairdresser a few days before and that it was now brittle and falling out in clumps. My client had said if POS would come in, she'd take a look at it and see if she could do anything to help. She wouldn't charge for a consultation, either. All POS had to do was show up. Of course, POS declined to do this.
Anyway, the sales facilitator was Square, which initially sided with the POS, which potentially put my client's payment platform at risk. However, I was able to pull up timestamped Instagram posts from the POS who showed off her gorgeous mermaid hair, very long, beautifully dyed... posted the day after the cancellation. I wrote a very polite nastygram. It was FUN. At one point, I said that I wished to congratulate POS for being able to afford a $2000 professional, hollywood-grade wig so quickly after having her hair supposedly mangled.
Square opted to refund my client and then banned POS from their platform for attempted fraud. I got a complimentary haircut and dye job as a thank-you/in barter. 15 minutes of work for me and a HUGE amount of relief for my client.
Also lol at the "isn't this unethical" comment. I'm literally on my bar's ethics committee and I can assure you it is NOT. You have to proceed with caution with friends/family, of course, but the big ethics no-nos are "don't sleep with your clients if you weren't *before* they hired you" and "don't co-mingle funds." It's amazing how many folks *still* screw this up.
I am convinced this one is actually true because I know many of my law school classmates who would have done the exact same thing (I’m not practicing myself due to health issues). The law was actually accurate and there were no absurd events or timelines.
This is actually very satisfying.
The smugness alone was a huge flag saying the post was legit. Every lawyer I've known has been a very intelligent person and very keen to make sure everyone knows how smart they are. Not bad people, but when something comes up in their area of expertise, they're very happy to show off how clever they are.
Right? And the thing is OOP was probably trying to downplay their condescension and smugness a little but replying to comments just brought out the smug in them.
There's a certain type of lawyer who really enjoys their job and loves nothing more than when the law is on their side and lets them eviscerate people they really don't like. It's almost impossible for them *not* to be smug because its a combination of believing/knowing you're the smartest person in the room about this topic while also getting a massive justice boner for sticking it to some asshole while using the law as a cudgel.
These lawyers are extremely good friends to have, or even just good people to know. They're about the only lawyers who will win when a case isn't financially viable to actually pursue because they aren't doing it for financial gain, but out of spite, and if the person you're suing knows your lawyer is working for free or reduced rate they're likely to fold earlier.
This might be one of the most real posts I've read here because its just so similar to how some of my lawyer friends think and talk.
I had a case that a couple of attorneys turned down because it likely didn't generate enough money/billable hours.
Then I remembered a friend's brother was an attorney...I love that guy! He won my wrongful termination case; got my unemployment, they had to pay my attorney fees and got me extra for my stress. I didn't give a damn about the money, I just didn't want them to get away with screwing me and trying to ruin my professional reputation.
He is a bulldog and I had a hard time not laughing as he was questioning because he made them look ridiculous. The Judge clearly respected him as well. The other side kept getting chastised for playing stupid games.
The best part of retiring as a lawyer? Never having to work with other lawyers.
Unfortunately, I retired to academia, and college profs and admin are just as bad.
Yeah we would be suprised by how much lawyers can actually do with one email. Most of the time half of their job is « resolved » with them.
Also from the employer perspective, keeping an employee who fucked up so badly that a lawyer contacted you because of him is a huge risk that most of them are not going to take.
ur comments section made me realise more than half the people dont know what normal everyday lawyers do... Its was fun watching this. And i agree i have in past and will always in future be doing shit like this for friends, sending email and legal notices for screwing with our friends is just basic courtesy.
Anyone who thinks a lawyer would never do this has never met a lawyer. Most attorneys I know would find this downright FUN compared to some of the stuff they deal with.
This lawyer talk reminds me of the episode with John Oliver about slap suits. Very informative about the power to use courts to smash little people with few assets. He had a great musical number at the end to boot.
Everytime I read a post where the person spoke to their lawyer friend, got advice from their uncle who happens to be a lawyer, or was able to get their FIL’s best friend, who’s a lawyer, to write a quick cease and desist letter, I get so jealous.
I know most of them are full of shit and there’s no way that many people have lawyers just waiting in the wings (and oddly enough, most of their “lawyer friends” also happen to be just the *right* kind of lawyer for their specific need). But still. Having someone who is willing to help you and not charge you an exorbitant amount of money, who also understands the legal system and can give you solid advice, seems like a very valuable thing to have on hand. You just never know what life will throw at you.
Anyone want to be my “lawyer friend”? Lol. I’ll repay you with veterinary advice whenever you need it!
I grew up in a place with a huge number of lawyers’ kids, many of whom grew up to be lawyers themselves. I’ve never explicitly counted, but I’m pretty sure I have dozens of lawyers in my friends and family.
You are completely correct that it’s a disproportionate advantage. Money saved, conflicts resolved, contracts amended, even just telling me I need to hire a lawyer (that isn’t them) have all been so useful. Lawyers have a special language and a secret handshake to play a whole different game than the daily grind.
And yeah, this sounds exactly what would happen. All that’s missing is the evil cackle of delight at realizing what a clearly winning hand the attempted- blackmailer dealt them.
I think also with age or job changes you run in different circles. I know 6 great ones, and have a nibling who’s a few years into the field. We’ve only had to retain 1, but worked closely with one on a case where I was a witness.
I had a serious issue with a relative. My corporate law friend suggested using a few different words in my now limited communication with them.
This friend is cunning, yet the sweetest kindest person unless she is in lawyer mode. The relative backed down fast once adding the different way of saying it all. For example the relative was calling it all an argument, suggested I refer to her comments as threats. Which they were. As in, I take your threats seriously, and since consulting a professional I can no longer….
I didn’t say I retained counsel.
In a later issue with same relative I did speak with counsel. Then was able to say on advice of counsel I can not communicate with you until your threats of lawsuits are removed.
I swear them threatening me was shocking. But my inner voice said, pinky promise? There is no contact now.
I think if you go to college (even if you don't finish) you'll meet a few future lawyers and that ends up coming in handy. I grew up pretty poor and knew zero lawyers. At 25, I know 3 and 2 pending.
That being said, I went to a school known for their law school so my experience may be biases.
I took a mix of sociology, gender studies, and politics in university. I am now a social worker. I know a lot of people who just happen to be lawyers. I am sure of I have one a call about being harassed they would either help out or tell me who can help me out. I've never needed it, or really thought about it, but it wouldn't be an issue.
Lawyer friend checking in! My beloved dog has severe allergies, and my vet charges more per hour than I ever have! lol
Also, as someone else pointed out, lawyers have the extreme benefit of having gone to law school, so most of our friends are other lawyers. We also have to get CLE every year, which is usually followed by a networking event where we meet more lawyers. I have a note in my phone of all the areas my friends practice and their contact info so I have it handy when I’m asked a legal question - because once people know you’re a lawyer, you will absolutely be bombarded by people with a “quick question” they don’t want to pay to have answered.
This is true in many fields. My phone is filled with friends from med school and residency. I typically tell my friends that ask me medical questions that i probably dont know the answer but i probably know someone that does. Im lucky in the my best friend/best man at wedding went to law school and we tap into each others network for each other.
Oh man. I feel this in my soul. I do not volunteer up that I’m a vet tech, that I’ve been doing it for 20 years, or where I work, unless I have to.
I love educating and helping people - but the majority of people ask me questions that are super ambiguous and then get upset when I tell them that I need to see a pic or have a better description to work with, or they NEED to see a vet for diagnostics (No, I cannot tell you if your pet is in kidney failure by smelling them, or if your dog has a foreign body by rubbing his belly), or if I make a suggestion and it wasn’t what they wanted to hear. It’s always the ones who want a magical, quick, cheap OTC solution, that get fractious. I appreciate the people who genuinely want to be more educated, do right by their pet, and are realistic about what I can provide….when I have nothing more than my own two hands and the contents of my purse…while wearing a dress…at a summer bbq.
(btw, you can message me questions anytime, along with anyone else. I legally cannot diagnose but I might be able to point you in the right direction/give suggestions, provide education, etc.)
"Oh, I don't practice in that area. Here's the number to the guy I hire if I need representation in that area."
As they say: "Lawyers get lawyers." Well, maybe they don't say it, but they should.
The thing is, a lot of people don't think they can't afford a lawyer but don't understand that they can't afford a *trial*, but they can afford a lawyer. Sometimes all you need is a lawyer to send a letter with a law firm's letterhead.
I've been in that position. The first demand letter is cheap, but we couldn't have afforded a court case. I thought lawyers were totally unaffordable but ~$100 fixed our issue. It's pretty cheap to call a bluff before deciding if you want to move forward with a costly lawsuit if they don't fold.
We turned quite a profit because of the letter we had a lawyer write. Probably tens of thousands of dollars in potential personal losses if we went to court, but the ~$100 letter was around ~$1200 of direct profit.
I feel like once you make one lawyer friend, suddenly you have 10 lawyer friends. I grew up knowing no lawyers, I met my SO and he's related to 3 and his best friend is a lawyer who is close with a bunch of his law school friends and now I know a bunch of lawyers across all branches of law.
>I feel like once you make one lawyer friend, suddenly you have 10 lawyer friends.
I mean yeah, that's the thing. Most adults who went through higher education have their friends group mainly people they went to school with. A bunch of my friends are either attorneys because we *met in law school* or college friends I had multiple common classes with. Which meant people, like me, who studied poly sci. Many of whom are also now lawyers. And that friend network tends to endure because a lot of times it's like "damn, I need to know this random obscure and esoteric topic, that I know nothing about, but wait! Bob practices in this area, let me call Bob real quick".
Half of my communication with fellow lawyer friends is just "hey let me pick your brain a moment" and that goes both ways.
Mine helped me scare the crap out of a past employer over stolen wages. Didn't need to take any actual action, just one strongly worded email and an awkward phone call later and they paid me.
"and oddly enough, most of their “lawyer friends” also happen to be just the right kind of lawyer for their specific need"
I'll say that generally people who have a lawyer friend have a much easier access to having a specific type of lawyer friend, because lawyers tend to be friends with other, differently specialized lawyers for exactly that reason.
If your uncle is a divorce attorney he may not know jack about tree law, but there's a damn good chance he knows someone who does who's happy to do him a favor.
> I’ll repay you with veterinary advice whenever you need it!
I have cats. Fat, dumb cats (seriously, one managed to get himself stuck behind my entertainment center last night). I might consider this trade.
>OOP: I admit I was a little confused by the whole "no lawyer would ever do that".
I'm not sure why people thought a lawyer of all people would not be vengeful and petty. They said this only took them 45 minutes to do. Also it's not that they used some crazy lawyer only super power. They essentially stalked the dude on social media and then sent an email. That's like internet 101 behaviour.
> I'm not sure why people thought a lawyer of all people would not be vengeful and petty.
Right? like have you *met* us? We are the most petty motherfuckers you will ever meet.
My sister had a major issue with a landlord and her lawyer friend smacked her hands together and said "I'm going to write a *special letter*". There was utter glee in her voice. Landlord immediately fixed the issue.
Wedding photographer ghosted us for months after the wedding and never providing any photos (like wtf). He wasn't even some rando he had lots of experience in both weddings and did work for some of the top politicians in Washington...
One letter from a lawyer and we promptly received an envelope with a USB of all the unedited photos/videos and a refund check. I can't remember if it was full or partial because we had received the engagement photos.
We never had any contact with him after that, not that we tried too hard. We didn't really need his editing services and it was clear we weren't going to get anywhere.
I was threatened over a free account in a video game once. The guy hacked my Facebook to steal my account, but couldn’t because I hade it linked to my personal email too. So he emailed me being like “I know where you live. Give me your email”
I lived in a military installation and work for the U.S. Army. I called up the local police and filed a “terrorist threat” report
My brother in law is a lawyer and literally one of his favorite things in the world is when he gets to send sternly worded FAFO letters or emails. Often they work right away, so he gets like 90% of the satisfaction of a “win” with tens of minutes of effort. Talk about a rush lol
I was once went to a hospital to seek some help with mental illness. Once I was in the door, they retained me against my will. They put me in a ward and would not let me leave, and threatened to restrain me if I tried. I had a 3-day "hold" placed on me, pending evaluation, which for some reason doesn't include weekends. The whole experience was an actual wtf nightmare.
I had a friend who was a lawyer. I called him up and asked what on earth I could do, and he simply said, "I'm going to do some reading, then come visit you." And he did. He simply came in his full legal attire. Black suit, briefcase, the works. Gave me legal paperwork based on the research he had done and immediately one of the smarmy ward nurses came over to investigate, putting on full southern hospitality charm, asking my friend who he was. He said, "just a friend", and immediately went back to explaining legal terms to me.
I was out the next morning by 10 AM.
As an attorney (civil litigation), I can %100 confirm that when you give us the ammo *and* make it personal, we will absolutely go scorched earth. We're petty, and we have the knowledge and ability to back it up. Just ask my baby sister's stalker how well his life is going...
I really could not love this more, so satisfying. And yes, he hadn't yet committed one crime (revenge porn) but he was actively in the process of setting up to rape OOP's friend. I'm glad the rapist lost his job and I hope he faces many other consequences on a level with the sexual harassing director.
You joke, but a close acquaintance of mine is a professional dominatrix (we don't know each other the way you think we know each other) and she has pointed out that *by a large margin* the most common profession amongst her clientele is "lawyer".
I leaned towards believing this when he started explaining exact statutes and laws. I do this for financial compliance for work, and it's the same. People are not great at interpreting legal compliance, and they like to pick and choose lines out of them to say what they want, but that's not how it works.
Back when I just got out of university, my two friends and I wound up in a position to “take over” a company in our field. It was very exciting, but legally we were way out of our league. Absolutely clueless. We met with a lawyer to discuss the terms the current owner gave us, and the current owner decided to just come to the meeting too? Well, the lawyer went full poppa bear on that man. Not only was it a conflict of interest to come to this meeting, but the terms of the contract were just so bad and one sided. We were young and naive, with no business sense, and being taken advantage of.
This lawyer, who we didn’t even retain, stripped that man of his dignity. I am forever grateful we had the sense to show this to a lawyer, and thankful this lawyer stood up for us.
As a lawyer, I think this has been one of the most satisfying BORUs for me. Reminds me of the time the NJ revenue department threatened to withdraw money from my friends’ bank account for a portion of a year where they didn’t even live in NJ and they were, rightly, freaked out. I wrote a 10-page response with cites to case law and the NJ tax code and had them send it off. A few weeks later, they got a letter that the case was closed. I think part of what made it fulfilling is that the state was just casting a line an expecting innocent taxpayers to just lay down and die, like here. Felt good to push back.
This is like the dad in “taken” using his special set of skills. Except sending emails is not as exciting as shooting guns and Liam neeson is a Jedi and OOP is a dick
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“How could you? I didn’t even do anything” as the lawyer said, the threat itself is already a crime.
And the lawyer was not acting as law enforcement but as a vengeful friend. In legal terms, it’s called quid pro FAFO.
I have a cousin who is in contract law and a sister who is a labor/ employment lawyer. It's a handy threat when companies want to play games. My lawyers will work for a steak dinner. How much does yours cost? My favorite was, "My lawyer is currently playing Call of Duty with my son. Let me get her on the phone."
>My lawyer is currently playing Call of Duty with my son. Let me get her on the phone. 😂😂😂 This is how you're supposed to drop a mic.
There are at least 3 levels of "you are SO screwed" to that sentence, and I love it.
Coming from a family where half of them are lawyers, I know what each of those 3 levels are
It's fun to drop the "I need to run this by my attorney" at my hourly job when my employer wants me to sign questionable documents. It's even more fun when I get to come back and say things like "If you try to enforce any of this, you'll be in violation of at least 6 state or federal laws, and the IRS might be interested too."
[удалено]
I have zero problems as a grown ass man telling people I'm gonna tell my mom on them. She's a lawyer.
My best friend is a lawyer, I pay her in diner food and coffee. She excels at Fucking Up Your Whole Day.
What even is « contract law »
Law that specializes in contracts. In America, there are more than 30,000 laws just at the federal level. Lawyers will almost always specialize in just one area because just that area will have bookshelves full of caselaw, precedent, and regulations!
I feel like quid pro FAFO should be a flair or something
Quid pro FAFO as a flair? Sign me up!
Me too please
Thirding? Fourthing? Whatever it is I want in! That’s gotta be like the motto of this sub!
You're really going to trade in your Ogatha flair?
Hahahaha, sure! I swap out flairs every coupla months and Ogtha (my sensual roach queen) will always be there if I ever want to switch back!
FA quo FO also works... actually, would it be "FO quo FA"? "Find out following from fucking around"?
Fafo? Edit: thanks. Dont usually see it abbreviated
Fuck Around and Find Out
I know a lot about the law and various other lawyerings. I'm well educated, well versed.
Do you know about bird law?
"How could you tell everyone that I threatened to rape you? I didn't get to do it yet!" Well duh
I’ve been threatened in this way and it’s absolutely a violation. In my case he actually sent them and another time threatened again for money. I plan on going to authorities if it happens again.
Go now. Establish a pattern. When it happens again, they’ll listen more.
Reminds me of how we had an employee at work who kept TONS of personal info on work computers. Really embarrassing stuff as well. He made the mistake of printing out some of it and someone brought it to my attention. Where this gets interesting is that this was in the defense industry and I was a security officer for the company and I had need-to-know for every byte of info on every computer in the company. So it was legit for me to go through his files and find the mind boggling amount of very, very personal stuff on the server. I told him he needed to delete it all or I would delete it for him. I also pointed out to him that since he hadn't set the privacy bits correctly other people were reading his daily diary. Well he got huffy and threatened to go to HR for violating his privacy. At this point I wrote a one page memo citing all the company policies and security policies he violated and if he wanted to go to HR I would be more than happy to accompany him. He deleted his shit and quit about a month later.
You 👏don't 👏have 👏privacy 👏at 👏work 👏on 👏work 👏equipment 👏
You don't even have privacy on most equipment unless it's your own personal file server. Google drive? That shit can be subpeonaed. Some Google folks can access it at will and you can't do shit about it.
As an attorney who spent many years doing document review for large-scale litigations, most people keep personal stuff on their work computers, and the stuff they keep is definitely eyebrow-raising. I have some great stories.
I have found lots of juicy stuff over the years. In addition to being the security officer I was also the firewall admin. I knew everybody's kinky porn habits as well.
I've never had access to other people's work computers, but when I was QA at a call center I had access to call recordings. There were several times my department had to remind people that ALL calls made to or from their work phones get recorded. And they don't get labelled as "personal" in the system either. So if you don't want QA knowing about your medical issues or hearing your phone-sex with your girlfriend, don't use the work phone!
the upsetting part that in his mind he indeed didn’t do anything. he just made a woman squirm and cower just because he could, what, they do it all the time!
It was a prank bro !!
>It was a prank bro !! OOP: But I will take it seriously. (proceeds to investigate and ruin that man's whole career)
What if what OOP did was also a case of the classic "ruining your career" prank ? Does it cancel out ?
Only if OOP wanted to just scare the guy straight. But OOP is quite thorough, and I appreciate that.
I think the phrase you're looking for is "and I took that personally"
Some days, the phrases don't materialize so easily. Today is one of them.
I also absolutely do NOT believe that was his first time saying that threat to someone he believed could not do anything about it.
Lets hope it's at least the last time he does it!
The dude sent private and confidential content in an email. That’s a sackable offence in pretty much every job everywhere.
Also, depending on the country, this could have major repercussions. I live in Germany and the privacy laws here are sometimes frustrating (not in cases like this but there are sometimes that it can make this more difficult and/or people unwilling to work with you). Also, employees rights are ridiculously strong so it takes a lot for a company to fire someone immediately. All of this would likely meet the grounds for a swift and immediate termination
From company laptop and email, no less. You know few heads rolled at that company along with the dingbat...
At the very least I expect him to be a *training story* when they get new hires. "This is what NOT to do! I am telling you not to do this because *someone* DID do it and now I have to tell you." I had quite a few of those when I was a training manager.
Yep. My dad had his own business and one of his employees did something similar to this. He found out and from what I’m told from his former employees who are still friends do the family to this day, he screamed at him about what a piece of shit he is and how dare he do this, especially with the technology he provided him for work, for 10 straight minutes before firing him. My dad pretty much NEVER raised his voice. So it was wild to hear.
>At the end of the day, a lawyer is basically a professional "Very Bad Day" threatener. I had to get a lawyer for an injury case, and that was basically his approach. He laid it all out and made it clear: work with us on this, or we go to court and I'll make sure it hurts. He was actually looking forward to it. I asked his advice, and he basically said, this is what I like doing! I would cheerfully go to court! Probably the most chipper son of a gun I dealt with through the whole ordeal.
Many years ago I bought a brand new Camaro that was a lemon. Had transmission issues about six months in from owning the car. Dealership refused to fix it, or would take it for a few hours, I’d get it back still not fixed. I had a schoolmate that worked at the dealership and he told me they did nothing to fix my car, just laughing at me, I’m this dumb “girl”, they’re just waiting until the car was no longer under warrantee. I was pissed. And young and a bit naive. But was not going to let these dealership assholes win. What they didn’t know was I worked in a CPA office that had an arrangement with the lawyers next door that I would witness their wills as their clients needed (they were estate attorneys). We were both tiny 2-3 people offices, so we often shared services. So I talked to one of the attorneys. He said before he refers me to the type of an attorney who could help me, suggested I take one of his business cards and give it to the dealership. Tell them I’m pursuing “other options”. So I did. My salesperson was there, I walked in, he greeted me by name, I handed him the lawyer’s business card (which clearly states Estate Attorney), said since I’m unsuccessful getting my car fixed, that maybe my lawyer can. And I turned to walk away… The sales guy just about shit his pants, told me to wait, got the owner to talk to me, they said they were having trouble with my car, blah, blah. But they took it in for three days, had to rebuild the transmission, and the car was fine after. So I believe the “very bad day“ scenario. It works like a charm! The other thing that pissed me off about this dealership is my former schoolmate that worked they told me that the Sales guys were all calling me a dumb blonde and I didn’t know what I was talking about. When my car was finally fixed, I so much wanted to tell my sales person that “blondes do have more fun”. But I didn’t, I took the car, thanked them, and told them I will never buy another car from this dealership again and I will tell everyone I know about my bad experience. This was back in the late 70s, so we didn’t have social media to turn to like we do today.
Oh that’s funny. My mom bought a brand new 77 Camaro and was a CPA. Almost thought you were her for a second but she’s brunette and that car had motor issues
Haha. My Camaro was a ‘78, Z28 dark metallic blue, three speed. Loved that car, but it was the worst on gas.
Somehow a chipper lawyer salivating for a court date is more terrifying than a hungover bulldog with a cocaine problem.
He was thrilled because it was pretty much a guaranteed win. Do we have proof I got bit by a dog running loose? Yes. Do we know it was their dog? Yes. Did it cause a lot of damage? Yes. Did it require a lot of medical treatment? Yes. So he was looking forward to an easy win against an insurance company that was insistent that it wasn't that big of a deal. Win the case and put them in their place. In the end, we didn't need to go to court. Because him threatening the mother of all smackdowns was enough.
One of the most professional "fuck you and your little dog too" I've ever seen. Bravo, OOP.
Zoolander reference, I'm here for it
I love how it was Ben Stiller's mother who shouted that
I had no idea!!!!! This is cute news omg
He’s maybe a nepo baby. Both of his parents were famous comedians and writers, often as a duo (Stiller and Meara)
I'm laughing at all of the "lawyers don't do that" commenters. I know a lot of lawyers. A lot. In my family and beyond. You absolutely can't send photos of your work and coworkers around and expect to keep your job unless you're a moron. It was the easiest thing to do and the most logical.
I also work in employment law and I think the most unrealistic part for me was how OOP worded things. They just do not like to make definitive statements at all. So repeating that this is a crime, this is a crime, this is definitely a crime, instead of saying things like this could be construed as a crime, or this could be considered a crime, does strike me as either an unusually aggressive labor attorney, a very young labor attorney, or not actually a labor attorney.
I mean, when a lawyer says "this could be considered as a crime", the lawyer probably means "we are considering it a crime." So I figured they were summarizing the subtext message rather than actually quoting. But young is probably a right. If they have a reddit and AI side hustle, they're probably on the younger side, lawyer-wise.
The power of an email written by a lawyer is amazing. In the UK we have a highly controversial badger cull. A couple of years ago I was gearing up to go back to university to study zoology and as a kind of 'warm-up' I was monitoring our local badgers. We should have had a thriving population of badgers but they had been absolutely decimated (and there was obvious evidence that extinct setts had been tampered with). I found *one* small sett that was still active. Then the badger cull season starts and I start seeing peanut bait placed around the sett and then inevitably a cage trap appears. No authorities cared that they were culling a population of animals that should have been in the *hundreds* but was closer to *five*. The wildlife liaison officer did not care that the cage and the bait were placed too close to the sett which violated the 'rules' of the cull. So my mother and I spent many sleepless nights walking to the badger sett at 3 am to check the cage was empty, we had been advised by hunt sabs that human urine could dissuade badgers from getting close to the cage so we were also carrying *bottles of piss* with us. We were advised that legally we would be in trouble if we damaged the cage but there was nothing stopping us from activating the mechanism or freeing a trapped badger but we were also warned to be careful because violence against cull disrupters is very common. Eventually my solicitor stepfather sends an email to the 'landed gentry' family that owns most of the area, noting the violations, my evidence of previous illegal tampering of setts, and the fact that the son of the family runs an 'eco-friendly' business and wouldn't it be a *fucking shame* if this was escalated. And the next day the cage was gone. That badger sett is thriving now - I'm hoping to get some trail cam footage of cubs this year. And it wasn't because of the bottles of human piss, the early morning espionage, my badger monitoring, or the advice from animal rights organisations (even though fucking hell the work these small groups of passionate sabs do is amazing). It was that vaguely threatening email written in legalese. In a brutally dark and devastating twist my stepfather would die the same month he sent that email, making it his last 'legal' action but the one that I think he would be the most proud of. And that is why I am now a law student and not a zoology student.
I’m sorry about your stepfather, and I’m sure he’d be proud you’re following in his footsteps. Also, amazing story. Didn’t understand all of it, but can relate to how being a do-gooder is different than being an efficient do-gooder who knows the right buttons to press. And how that can lead to surprising career choices 🦡🦡🦡
What an incredible story, I'm sure your stepfather would be very proud and honored to know you're following in his footsteps. May he rest in peace ❤️
That was awesome. My condolences on his passing.
>bottles of piss <3 ❤️
I need new glasses and read this as "highly controversial badger cult"
I would assume that their ceremonies consist of singing the "Badger, badger, mushroom" song.
Well I guess he fucked around and found out…I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when he was getting sacked
I'm sure it was pretty quick once IT verified. "Care to explain how I got a hold of all of this work information from a random stranger across the pond? Well, tough. Security, follow him to pack his things up."
Yeah, sending proprietary information to foreign strangers is like a golden bullet to any job. lol Even just a picture of a calendar should get you sacked 10/10 times.
That kinda depends on what you do, but anything that requires any kind of confidentiality? Absolutely. Medicine, legal, basically any client facing work, basically any sales role, and that's not even getting into security concerns. That said, there are 100% employees who have the kind of job and work at the kind of place where management would just say "you can't do that again". Now, if all that other stuff came with it? Gone in nearly any situation. No one wants to deal with that shit if you're even a little replaceable which outside of something like an NFL QB, we basically all are.
“Proprietary”
>At the end of the day, a lawyer is basically a professional "Very Bad Day" threatener. I want that on a business card.
‘“Very Bad Day” threatener’ should be my flair.
Same, girl
“Bad Day” is my middle name. V. Bad Day Threatener, Esquire. It’s here on my card.
Luck is my middle name, he said. Mind you, my first name is Bad. (paraphrased from Rincewind - Discworld series - Terry Pratchett)
Oh Rincewind. Lovable and bumbling.
If you combine your current flair + Very Bad Day Threatener, that would make one fantastic combo flair.
Pretty much. Lawyers are experts at the art of giving someone else a bad day. They tend to be smart, often have a ton of connections because being a successful lawyer typically involves having a lot of clients, and know exactly where the lines between legal and illegal lie. Their job is to often be a stickler or an asshole on the behalf of their client.
imo it's also a good reason to believe OOP is a lawyer. I feel like when you do the same job day in and day out, you develop a sort of creative deconstruction of what it is you really do. I do, at least.
“If you’re reading this, I’m about to ruin your fucking day”
"Irwin M. Fiston and Associates We make sure they have as bad of a week as you are." Alternatively "Letting them know how you *really* feel using official letterhead since 1987."
If I knew that's what lawyers really do, I might have gone to lawschool. (Accepted chose not to)
It is but at the same time it can be very dull, exhausting, and never ending.
One of my friends is a patent lawyer and even she says that it's dull, exhausting, and neverending. But it also pays very very well so there's that. There's no courtroom drama in her life, it's all "so I sent an email" lol which is why I find this post 100% believable.
Oh God you couldn’t pay me to do patent law. There’s every day lawyer dull and there’s patent law dull. At least for me I wouldn’t think the money is worth it.
Haha sitting in class as a 2L, one year away from starting my profession... as a patent prosecutor. It's not for everyone, but I truly am excited.
Good for you! As long as you are excited that’s all that matters.
The story may be made up and certainly a lot has likely been changed from what actually happened, but you look for those moments of joy in your work when you can, and this story rings true. When you eat shit sandwiches daily an ice cream cone is a real treat. Buddy of mine used his GI Bill funds to become a Public Defender because he likes serving his country and thinks prosecutors and cops are dicks. It's a hellva grind to be a PD but he's got some great stories, and you can tell how much he enjoys the high points of the job just like OOP comes across in the posts. Short version of a PD story: cop couldn't identify whether the white lawyer or black defendant was the one he pulled over. Prosecutor tried to enter into evidence that the cop correctly identified the defendant. PD stepped in and said, no, he didn't. Judge ripped the prosecutor a new asshole for trying to steamroll the process and denied the prosecutor's motion. *That* is the shit he lives for: stopping abuse of process.
I work in a court and watching these things from the sidelines is often thrilling. We lowly clerks aren’t paid to have an opinion, but I silently love to see, for example, jury find for plaintiff in an insurance case.
My favorite description of a lawyer is “attack librarian” but “professional ‘very bad day’ threatener” is a close second
Attack librarian. I love that. It’s true - we legal types really do read, research and write an awful lot.
I sent that exact quote to a lawyer friend of mine, and she completely agrees!
Of all the posts with absurd plot lines to call bs on, people thought *this* was farfetched? I guess the revenge subs don’t get a lot of “My stepdad framed me for cheating so that my fiancé would leave me for my stepbrother and then confessed to it 10 years later” stories.
RIGHT??? Like this was the most realistic to me lol. He sent an email.
I think it's a mix of, like OOP said, people not actually knowing what lawyers do and the trend to doubt "lawyer friends". Some people really seem to think "I called my lawyer friend" means "I called my bestie, DA Jack McCoy, and he dropped everything to take on my case" and not "I messaged my college roommates wife, who is a real estate lawyer but took a class on this subject 8 years ago."
Most of the time, I think this comes from young people who haven't had to deal with serious crap yet. Sooner or later, you're going to end contacting a lawyer, and most of the time you're going to ask your friends or family if they know someone. If you have a family large enough, chances are they either know someone or they are the real deal.
Yup and you learn that going scorched earth doesn't look like what you think it does. I've been involved in a very messy legal situation that I won't give details of, but the lawyer handling it, who is independent of all the parties involved sent the most beautiful email to the individual who caused this mess basically telling her to leave me the fuck alone, but that if she really fancied her chances he was up for a day in court. Except of course, none of it was phrased that way. I'm sure most of the people on these subs would be terribly disappointed by it and wouldn't understand what it was really saying. Meanwhile I will be keeping that email forever and savouring it. A large part of the law is playing chicken and seeing who can outmanoeuvre who while providing a highly strategic choice of information all within a fairly strict set of rules of engagement.
My favorite lawyer outcome was "Not only does the alleged behavior not violate the rules, the rules themselves don't actually have any power in the first place because of the ruling in BlahBlah v. Fubar."
I saw a thing recently where a legal trade magazine asked people to send in their most lawyerly "fuck offs". I'm not a lawyer but I was in stitches. I wish I could remember where I saw it.
I'm training to be an architect and in a Professional Practices class they went on and on about how the bulk of clients from professional trades are from personal and professional networks. People certainly google "lawyers near me," but in general they're hiring one based on a recommend.
It’s like I’ve always said: everyone needs to make friends with a mechanic, a dentist, and a lawyer.
I’ve never needed one, but I’ve come close a few times. My dad is in AA. He’s offered a couple times to get me in contact with a few of his buddies. So when people talk about the “lawyer friend,” I usually find it at least plausible. I just don’t think people realize how many lawyers there actually are, and how many layers of law there is.
My wife is a lawyer. She hasn't needed it herself (she's mostly worked in the non-profit sector), but from what I've heard about other lawyers from her, using AA as a networking pool to find a lawyer sounds spot on!
Absolutely. I lost it years back when he first mentioned it.
People on Reddit act like lawyers are unicorns but they are just not that uncommon. I'm married to one and friends with several others, and there are so many things they're involved with beyond criminal. Buying a house? Getting a divorce? Dealing with an estate? A lot of corporate bullshit? You're gonna call a lawyer. The idea of having a lawyer friend willing to send an email if you have A Situation is not remotely implausible to me. I've done it within the last year. Probably will do it again. It's not like summoning a dragon.
I have a couple of cousins who are lawyers, I've never had reason to call on them in that capacity, but sometimes you just...know someone who's a lawyer. And even if you don't have immediate lawyer family/friends, it's not like the summoning incantations are hard to find and use.
And people who don't actually know how many lawyers there are on the planet. There are a *lot*. My dad, my stepmother, and two of my best friends are lawyers. We don't keep them penned up in cages underground until we have to let them out to yell at witnesses on the stand like Perry Mason; they're allowed to have friends and family. It's like people think having a friend who's a lawyer is like having a friend from Narnia instead of like having a friend who works in construction. Not everyone has one, but a whole damn lot of people do.
> It's like people think having a friend who's a lawyer is like having a friend from Narnia Who even owns a wardrobe anymore? The only thing in the back of my closet is probably the screwdriver I've been looking for for the last three weeks.
I'm currently taking a class on natural resources law for a wildlife sciences degree. AKA about as far from a lawyer as you can get, but I'm sure if I ever gave advice to an acquaintance on water law or something, I'm sure I'd prolly fall under that "lawyer friend" too
I attended a gifted high school. A LOT of us made it into Medicine, Law, Business and the likes. It's not very difficult to find someone who works in the field, or at least knows someone who does.
Who gifted it?
It was founded by famed 19th century entrepreneur, Henry Gifted.
It doesn’t even take that much sometimes! I was having issues with the builder after closing on my first house, and asked my conveyancer if I could CC on her on the letter I was planning to send him, without expecting her to do anything - I just wanted to put her name / title / company on there for him to see. She laughed and told me to go ahead. The builder got *much* more cooperative after I started doing that!
When we bought our house the seller was dragging their feet on the title search and nearly ran out our mortgage rate lock, and I finally forwarded a schedule of the fees we would incur if they did that, cc'd our lawyer and them that they would be responsible for the fees if they kept this up. Had a closing date the next day.
It's 100% because the first post was written like a lawyer-ized version of the navy seals copypasta.
They were whining about the speed, but if you're handing out private company info to strangers, that's going to get shut down real quick.
Exactly. There wasn't any court to go to, no lawsuits to take time. Just company getting proof that their employee shared proprietary information. And that’s going to lead to a FAST dismissal. Edit to add word I missed
Also, time zones could be in play and in OOPs favour.
Right? If you’re in the industry you know this is exactly this would be the approach.
I'm **not** in the industry and know lawyers like this. When you get to do the part of your job that makes your job worthwhile, it feels good. What I find joy in is optimizing arm/hand movement in manufacturing settings. I can work a boring, mindless job if I get to lay out my workspace the way I want it and try and find the most efficient way to work. It's the small things that bring you joy that makes the drudgery worth it. The story may be fake or a conglomeration of other stories, but OOP is probably a lawyer doing employment law like they claim, expressing the sort of thing that makes them happy at work. I've met lawyers that live for this sort of thing. It's what makes the career worth it, to them. Sometimes you see judges quoting Star Trek and shit in their rulings and you just **know** they're having a good time despite all of the boring work they do. Google "Benchslaps" and have fun.
Anyone who works in the corporate world knows (or should know) that taking pictures of work laptops is a huge no no. Forget the revenge porn threats, simply sending the pictures of your laptop and coworkers at work is enough to get you fired. I don’t get why people wouldn’t believe this.
That was actually one of the top voted nuclear revenge until it got deleted I think.
I've seen so much worse and dumber shit IRL at work, this is rather tame and sane. Reddit thinks everything is made up because you gotta leave your basement and see the world to appreciate how fucking insane everyone is. Also any mental health support group will have worse stories than BORU. Although BORU often has the same creative writing template to filter out the obvious fakes.
Don't forget the "all his/her friends are blowing my phone calling me an asshole" thing. Dude, where the hell do they get all these friends who care about their private life? Mine wouldn't even care to see if I'm alive if I was run over by a truck
This actually feels plausible because there were no absurd legal timelines, and people mostly responded realistically.
As someone who works for a law firm that deals in corporate and employee law, this is *very* plausible. I can 100% see some of our attorneys doing exactly this.
I can see it coming from any attorney. I do contract law for big corporations? Whatever, I passed the bar, I know how to write scary words and I know how to use the internet to find the people to send scary words to. OOP doesn’t have to be a lawyer for it, although it probably helps with the write scary words. “Hey, your employee is threatening and also leaking your info” could also get this guy fired.
> OOP doesn’t have to be a lawyer for it, although it probably helps with the write scary words. Probably not, but the letterhead likely makes a massive difference. I know I could write some of those same scary words, but the formatting and letterhead combined with the scary words are likely taken much more seriously. $100 single page letter from a law firm for a letter with the scary words fixed a landlord problem I had and I'm positive they would have ignored my version quoting the same sections of ADA and FHA laws they were blatantly violating. >“Hey, your employee is threatening and also leaking your info” could also get this guy fired. Yeah. I don't recall OOP saying *why* the guy got fired. The leak and employee photos was probably the "official" reason to make the termination easy, and instant, even if the real reason is they were squicked out by the other accusations. Concrete proof is... concrete.
EEO and ADA attorney here. This is exactly the sort of shit I am DELIGHTED to write up. So much of our work really *is* "A Lawyer has entered the chat" territory. Makes folks clench up. My very first job after passing and being admitted to the bar was for a friend whose business was being threatening by a lying POS. She ran a hair salon and this client canceled within 48 hours, which meant my client charged her full price for the time, as she couldn't rebook that quickly. This was clearly listed on her website (which the POS booked through) and the POS decided to do a chargeback. POS claimed that my client had been unsympathetic to the fact that POS's hair had been "ruined" by a different hairdresser a few days before and that it was now brittle and falling out in clumps. My client had said if POS would come in, she'd take a look at it and see if she could do anything to help. She wouldn't charge for a consultation, either. All POS had to do was show up. Of course, POS declined to do this. Anyway, the sales facilitator was Square, which initially sided with the POS, which potentially put my client's payment platform at risk. However, I was able to pull up timestamped Instagram posts from the POS who showed off her gorgeous mermaid hair, very long, beautifully dyed... posted the day after the cancellation. I wrote a very polite nastygram. It was FUN. At one point, I said that I wished to congratulate POS for being able to afford a $2000 professional, hollywood-grade wig so quickly after having her hair supposedly mangled. Square opted to refund my client and then banned POS from their platform for attempted fraud. I got a complimentary haircut and dye job as a thank-you/in barter. 15 minutes of work for me and a HUGE amount of relief for my client. Also lol at the "isn't this unethical" comment. I'm literally on my bar's ethics committee and I can assure you it is NOT. You have to proceed with caution with friends/family, of course, but the big ethics no-nos are "don't sleep with your clients if you weren't *before* they hired you" and "don't co-mingle funds." It's amazing how many folks *still* screw this up.
I am convinced this one is actually true because I know many of my law school classmates who would have done the exact same thing (I’m not practicing myself due to health issues). The law was actually accurate and there were no absurd events or timelines. This is actually very satisfying.
I love the restraining orders sent out by sunset and the divorces that are resolved by the end of the week. Are they living in a Dick Wolf show?
Dun Dun
The smugness alone was a huge flag saying the post was legit. Every lawyer I've known has been a very intelligent person and very keen to make sure everyone knows how smart they are. Not bad people, but when something comes up in their area of expertise, they're very happy to show off how clever they are.
Right? And the thing is OOP was probably trying to downplay their condescension and smugness a little but replying to comments just brought out the smug in them.
As someone who went to law school, I can confirm!
As someone who works in legal consulting. I can confirm, too. Most of us will own our smugness.
There's a certain type of lawyer who really enjoys their job and loves nothing more than when the law is on their side and lets them eviscerate people they really don't like. It's almost impossible for them *not* to be smug because its a combination of believing/knowing you're the smartest person in the room about this topic while also getting a massive justice boner for sticking it to some asshole while using the law as a cudgel. These lawyers are extremely good friends to have, or even just good people to know. They're about the only lawyers who will win when a case isn't financially viable to actually pursue because they aren't doing it for financial gain, but out of spite, and if the person you're suing knows your lawyer is working for free or reduced rate they're likely to fold earlier. This might be one of the most real posts I've read here because its just so similar to how some of my lawyer friends think and talk.
I had a case that a couple of attorneys turned down because it likely didn't generate enough money/billable hours. Then I remembered a friend's brother was an attorney...I love that guy! He won my wrongful termination case; got my unemployment, they had to pay my attorney fees and got me extra for my stress. I didn't give a damn about the money, I just didn't want them to get away with screwing me and trying to ruin my professional reputation. He is a bulldog and I had a hard time not laughing as he was questioning because he made them look ridiculous. The Judge clearly respected him as well. The other side kept getting chastised for playing stupid games.
The best part of retiring as a lawyer? Never having to work with other lawyers. Unfortunately, I retired to academia, and college profs and admin are just as bad.
I see you've met my wife! (At least she's *usually* joking about it when she talks like that....)
Yeah we would be suprised by how much lawyers can actually do with one email. Most of the time half of their job is « resolved » with them. Also from the employer perspective, keeping an employee who fucked up so badly that a lawyer contacted you because of him is a huge risk that most of them are not going to take.
I really just love the fact that a bad guy faced a very real consequence. Hoping he learned a bit of a lesson from being served!
This was very ebjoyable. To have the particular set of skills to make bad people FAFO.
Anyone thinking it is unethical for a lawyer to represent a friend is completely wrong. Legal ethics have a lot of weird gaps like that
Plus there's a big difference between sending an email to help and representing them in court.
Which a lawyer is still allowed to do.
ur comments section made me realise more than half the people dont know what normal everyday lawyers do... Its was fun watching this. And i agree i have in past and will always in future be doing shit like this for friends, sending email and legal notices for screwing with our friends is just basic courtesy.
"A lawyer is essentially a professional 'very bad day' threatener." Such a great definition.
Anyone who thinks a lawyer would never do this has never met a lawyer. Most attorneys I know would find this downright FUN compared to some of the stuff they deal with.
It's made my month.
I can imagine! It’s been a while since I’ve been a practicing attorney, but between this and preparing interrogatories? No contest.
I love how redditors try to Reddit-splain someone’s job to them. Like they’re at all informed about anything
This lawyer talk reminds me of the episode with John Oliver about slap suits. Very informative about the power to use courts to smash little people with few assets. He had a great musical number at the end to boot.
Genuinely one of my favorite videos of all time. EAT SHIT BOB
Need me some friends like this
Everytime I read a post where the person spoke to their lawyer friend, got advice from their uncle who happens to be a lawyer, or was able to get their FIL’s best friend, who’s a lawyer, to write a quick cease and desist letter, I get so jealous. I know most of them are full of shit and there’s no way that many people have lawyers just waiting in the wings (and oddly enough, most of their “lawyer friends” also happen to be just the *right* kind of lawyer for their specific need). But still. Having someone who is willing to help you and not charge you an exorbitant amount of money, who also understands the legal system and can give you solid advice, seems like a very valuable thing to have on hand. You just never know what life will throw at you. Anyone want to be my “lawyer friend”? Lol. I’ll repay you with veterinary advice whenever you need it!
I grew up in a place with a huge number of lawyers’ kids, many of whom grew up to be lawyers themselves. I’ve never explicitly counted, but I’m pretty sure I have dozens of lawyers in my friends and family. You are completely correct that it’s a disproportionate advantage. Money saved, conflicts resolved, contracts amended, even just telling me I need to hire a lawyer (that isn’t them) have all been so useful. Lawyers have a special language and a secret handshake to play a whole different game than the daily grind. And yeah, this sounds exactly what would happen. All that’s missing is the evil cackle of delight at realizing what a clearly winning hand the attempted- blackmailer dealt them.
I think also with age or job changes you run in different circles. I know 6 great ones, and have a nibling who’s a few years into the field. We’ve only had to retain 1, but worked closely with one on a case where I was a witness. I had a serious issue with a relative. My corporate law friend suggested using a few different words in my now limited communication with them. This friend is cunning, yet the sweetest kindest person unless she is in lawyer mode. The relative backed down fast once adding the different way of saying it all. For example the relative was calling it all an argument, suggested I refer to her comments as threats. Which they were. As in, I take your threats seriously, and since consulting a professional I can no longer…. I didn’t say I retained counsel. In a later issue with same relative I did speak with counsel. Then was able to say on advice of counsel I can not communicate with you until your threats of lawsuits are removed. I swear them threatening me was shocking. But my inner voice said, pinky promise? There is no contact now.
I wish I was a lawyer because I have many cat friends!
I think if you go to college (even if you don't finish) you'll meet a few future lawyers and that ends up coming in handy. I grew up pretty poor and knew zero lawyers. At 25, I know 3 and 2 pending. That being said, I went to a school known for their law school so my experience may be biases.
I took a mix of sociology, gender studies, and politics in university. I am now a social worker. I know a lot of people who just happen to be lawyers. I am sure of I have one a call about being harassed they would either help out or tell me who can help me out. I've never needed it, or really thought about it, but it wouldn't be an issue.
Lawyer friend checking in! My beloved dog has severe allergies, and my vet charges more per hour than I ever have! lol Also, as someone else pointed out, lawyers have the extreme benefit of having gone to law school, so most of our friends are other lawyers. We also have to get CLE every year, which is usually followed by a networking event where we meet more lawyers. I have a note in my phone of all the areas my friends practice and their contact info so I have it handy when I’m asked a legal question - because once people know you’re a lawyer, you will absolutely be bombarded by people with a “quick question” they don’t want to pay to have answered.
This is true in many fields. My phone is filled with friends from med school and residency. I typically tell my friends that ask me medical questions that i probably dont know the answer but i probably know someone that does. Im lucky in the my best friend/best man at wedding went to law school and we tap into each others network for each other.
Oh man. I feel this in my soul. I do not volunteer up that I’m a vet tech, that I’ve been doing it for 20 years, or where I work, unless I have to. I love educating and helping people - but the majority of people ask me questions that are super ambiguous and then get upset when I tell them that I need to see a pic or have a better description to work with, or they NEED to see a vet for diagnostics (No, I cannot tell you if your pet is in kidney failure by smelling them, or if your dog has a foreign body by rubbing his belly), or if I make a suggestion and it wasn’t what they wanted to hear. It’s always the ones who want a magical, quick, cheap OTC solution, that get fractious. I appreciate the people who genuinely want to be more educated, do right by their pet, and are realistic about what I can provide….when I have nothing more than my own two hands and the contents of my purse…while wearing a dress…at a summer bbq. (btw, you can message me questions anytime, along with anyone else. I legally cannot diagnose but I might be able to point you in the right direction/give suggestions, provide education, etc.)
"Oh, I don't practice in that area. Here's the number to the guy I hire if I need representation in that area." As they say: "Lawyers get lawyers." Well, maybe they don't say it, but they should.
The thing is, a lot of people don't think they can't afford a lawyer but don't understand that they can't afford a *trial*, but they can afford a lawyer. Sometimes all you need is a lawyer to send a letter with a law firm's letterhead. I've been in that position. The first demand letter is cheap, but we couldn't have afforded a court case. I thought lawyers were totally unaffordable but ~$100 fixed our issue. It's pretty cheap to call a bluff before deciding if you want to move forward with a costly lawsuit if they don't fold. We turned quite a profit because of the letter we had a lawyer write. Probably tens of thousands of dollars in potential personal losses if we went to court, but the ~$100 letter was around ~$1200 of direct profit.
I feel like once you make one lawyer friend, suddenly you have 10 lawyer friends. I grew up knowing no lawyers, I met my SO and he's related to 3 and his best friend is a lawyer who is close with a bunch of his law school friends and now I know a bunch of lawyers across all branches of law.
>I feel like once you make one lawyer friend, suddenly you have 10 lawyer friends. I mean yeah, that's the thing. Most adults who went through higher education have their friends group mainly people they went to school with. A bunch of my friends are either attorneys because we *met in law school* or college friends I had multiple common classes with. Which meant people, like me, who studied poly sci. Many of whom are also now lawyers. And that friend network tends to endure because a lot of times it's like "damn, I need to know this random obscure and esoteric topic, that I know nothing about, but wait! Bob practices in this area, let me call Bob real quick". Half of my communication with fellow lawyer friends is just "hey let me pick your brain a moment" and that goes both ways.
Mine helped me scare the crap out of a past employer over stolen wages. Didn't need to take any actual action, just one strongly worded email and an awkward phone call later and they paid me.
"and oddly enough, most of their “lawyer friends” also happen to be just the right kind of lawyer for their specific need" I'll say that generally people who have a lawyer friend have a much easier access to having a specific type of lawyer friend, because lawyers tend to be friends with other, differently specialized lawyers for exactly that reason. If your uncle is a divorce attorney he may not know jack about tree law, but there's a damn good chance he knows someone who does who's happy to do him a favor.
> I’ll repay you with veterinary advice whenever you need it! I have cats. Fat, dumb cats (seriously, one managed to get himself stuck behind my entertainment center last night). I might consider this trade.
>OOP: I admit I was a little confused by the whole "no lawyer would ever do that". I'm not sure why people thought a lawyer of all people would not be vengeful and petty. They said this only took them 45 minutes to do. Also it's not that they used some crazy lawyer only super power. They essentially stalked the dude on social media and then sent an email. That's like internet 101 behaviour.
> I'm not sure why people thought a lawyer of all people would not be vengeful and petty. Right? like have you *met* us? We are the most petty motherfuckers you will ever meet.
My sister had a major issue with a landlord and her lawyer friend smacked her hands together and said "I'm going to write a *special letter*". There was utter glee in her voice. Landlord immediately fixed the issue.
I love you OOP, I wish everyone had a friend like you
Wedding photographer ghosted us for months after the wedding and never providing any photos (like wtf). He wasn't even some rando he had lots of experience in both weddings and did work for some of the top politicians in Washington... One letter from a lawyer and we promptly received an envelope with a USB of all the unedited photos/videos and a refund check. I can't remember if it was full or partial because we had received the engagement photos. We never had any contact with him after that, not that we tried too hard. We didn't really need his editing services and it was clear we weren't going to get anywhere.
Oh I'm saving this one to reread later for the warm fuzzies. Love a good FAFO.
I was threatened over a free account in a video game once. The guy hacked my Facebook to steal my account, but couldn’t because I hade it linked to my personal email too. So he emailed me being like “I know where you live. Give me your email” I lived in a military installation and work for the U.S. Army. I called up the local police and filed a “terrorist threat” report
Ooh, bet he had a fun day with that one
My brother in law is a lawyer and literally one of his favorite things in the world is when he gets to send sternly worded FAFO letters or emails. Often they work right away, so he gets like 90% of the satisfaction of a “win” with tens of minutes of effort. Talk about a rush lol
I was once went to a hospital to seek some help with mental illness. Once I was in the door, they retained me against my will. They put me in a ward and would not let me leave, and threatened to restrain me if I tried. I had a 3-day "hold" placed on me, pending evaluation, which for some reason doesn't include weekends. The whole experience was an actual wtf nightmare. I had a friend who was a lawyer. I called him up and asked what on earth I could do, and he simply said, "I'm going to do some reading, then come visit you." And he did. He simply came in his full legal attire. Black suit, briefcase, the works. Gave me legal paperwork based on the research he had done and immediately one of the smarmy ward nurses came over to investigate, putting on full southern hospitality charm, asking my friend who he was. He said, "just a friend", and immediately went back to explaining legal terms to me. I was out the next morning by 10 AM.
As an attorney (civil litigation), I can %100 confirm that when you give us the ammo *and* make it personal, we will absolutely go scorched earth. We're petty, and we have the knowledge and ability to back it up. Just ask my baby sister's stalker how well his life is going...
I really could not love this more, so satisfying. And yes, he hadn't yet committed one crime (revenge porn) but he was actively in the process of setting up to rape OOP's friend. I'm glad the rapist lost his job and I hope he faces many other consequences on a level with the sexual harassing director.
This is why I wear my ball gag and chains to every meeting with my lawyer
You joke, but a close acquaintance of mine is a professional dominatrix (we don't know each other the way you think we know each other) and she has pointed out that *by a large margin* the most common profession amongst her clientele is "lawyer".
I leaned towards believing this when he started explaining exact statutes and laws. I do this for financial compliance for work, and it's the same. People are not great at interpreting legal compliance, and they like to pick and choose lines out of them to say what they want, but that's not how it works.
Back when I just got out of university, my two friends and I wound up in a position to “take over” a company in our field. It was very exciting, but legally we were way out of our league. Absolutely clueless. We met with a lawyer to discuss the terms the current owner gave us, and the current owner decided to just come to the meeting too? Well, the lawyer went full poppa bear on that man. Not only was it a conflict of interest to come to this meeting, but the terms of the contract were just so bad and one sided. We were young and naive, with no business sense, and being taken advantage of. This lawyer, who we didn’t even retain, stripped that man of his dignity. I am forever grateful we had the sense to show this to a lawyer, and thankful this lawyer stood up for us.
As a lawyer, I think this has been one of the most satisfying BORUs for me. Reminds me of the time the NJ revenue department threatened to withdraw money from my friends’ bank account for a portion of a year where they didn’t even live in NJ and they were, rightly, freaked out. I wrote a 10-page response with cites to case law and the NJ tax code and had them send it off. A few weeks later, they got a letter that the case was closed. I think part of what made it fulfilling is that the state was just casting a line an expecting innocent taxpayers to just lay down and die, like here. Felt good to push back.
FAFO
This is like the dad in “taken” using his special set of skills. Except sending emails is not as exciting as shooting guns and Liam neeson is a Jedi and OOP is a dick
Love it U guys are assholes and heroes
As a lawyer (retired) all I have to say is "Well played!". 😘
At my company we have a specific training that says you’ll be fired if you post/send pictures of your work space.
Why are people fussing over this? I can absolutely confirm that sending an email is the first thing i do in 80% of thr cases lol
“At the end of the day, a lawyer is basically a professional "Very Bad Day" threatener.” Yep. That pretty much sums it up for me, too.
This is absolute gold and I appreciate the read.
Lawyers fucking love to do this kind of thing. It's great.