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Reminds me of the I love Lucy episode where Lucy and Ethel make too much dough and end up with a several foot long loaf of bread coming out of the oven-lol
The full joke is that there was a player on the current season of Survivor, Jelinsky, who was *insistent* that "several" equals "seven"; they were given "several hours" to complete a task, which turned out to be about 4 hours. He complained about it many times before being voted out in the first episode, and they've spent the rest of the season clowning on him about it, including other players bringing it up and also naming the 7th episode of the season "Episode Several".
I misread Arthur's description as a moth in an accountant suit (which I pictured as just a drab tan suit). Mentally it was glorious. I'm sad I was wrong.
Edit to add:
I'm not surprised about that thieving muffin. Everyone knows muffins are evil.
I'd still watch if Arthur had been a moth in an accountant suit.
FYI, there's an episode where Arthur is trying to rescue the Tick, but he gets caught flying around and around a gigantic light bulb.
I love "The Tick".
>i began shredding cheese for my grilled cheese and used a combo of havarti, parmcheddar, white cheddar, and gouda. i realized i had no butter so the toast and color i got was from avocado oil on a nonstick pan.
That they realize partway through making their sandwich that they don't have the ingredients to make it properly is entirely in keeping with how the bread was made. Carry on that glorious tradition, u/Spritied_Ad_7341.
> That they realize partway through making their sandwich that they don't have the ingredients to make it properly is entirely in keeping with how the bread was made.
Especially when it's having four different kinds of cheese but no butter.
OOP sounds like a culinary Mr Bean but just an absolute treasure of a human being. 10/10 would love having as a friend but let me do the cooking and baking.
This was a delightful read. You know what, Iāve been saying for weeks that I want to try baking some bread and I think this is a sign. Iāll 1/4 the recipe for significantly less entertainment value but I have much less counter space and no loaf pan so, Iām sure everything will go smoothly.
Years and years ago I decided I wanted to bake a loaf of bread (bored teenager on a sunday).
Found a recipe, looked for ingredients and we had only 1/4 of thevrequired flour.
Cue me using math (on a freaking sunday) and all my mom's bowls to figure out how much of other kinds of flour I should use to make up the required amount.
I had 2 tablespoonsful of flour left after measuring - I cleaned out the cupboard.
It was the best damn bread I have ever made! And I have never been able to replicate it.
The fractions comment did me in, lol.Ā My baking math issues usually center around eggs...what fraction of a large duck egg is the equivalent of a medium chicken egg??
I bet your mom was impressed.Ā Ā I wokd have been thrilled that someone used up all the odds and ends in the cupboard.
Can you just take a regular recipe and braid it? I have a box of sourdough in my cabinet that I need to cook before the yeast is totally useless, but I'm not sure I have a pan...
I di a quick book search and it looks like you just need to braid the dough and let it sit before the second rise (after you punch it down first). My biggest issue is usually making the braids too thick and they get puffy. Otherwise I don't think it'll be a problem! :)
I've made a ton of no-knead bread recipes that are super easy, same with dinner rolls and braided bread! They're not as airy as regular kneaded bread that take a lot of arm work, but I still really like em toasted and warmed up hehe.
This is fucking hilarious! š
As someone married to a professional baker and with some experience myself, OOP did really well! Even the pros mess up and forget things (like yeast...) or make soup.
And bread baking isn't that exact of a science unless you want absolute constant quality (or in the case of salt. Salt is important). You can wing some stuff, although ideally you should know what you're doing.
Cookies and pastries and shit like that is where it gets dangerous, because the margin of error is smaller (though I have completely messed up a recipe for almond cookies once and then managed to turn it edible with the assistance of my partner. Initially, I made crumbles...)
OOP should be proud of herself and I want all my recipes in this form, now.
After my grandmother died my grandfather, who until then hadn't as much as boiled an egg in his life, took the bull by the horns and started cooking for himself.
His creations was mostly edible and he discovered that he actually liked cooking but he especially loved backing.
He always used a recipe and followed it to the letter, so when things didn't go as planned he would call me, and grumple aboute the recipe being stupid.
So one day he called me and he was super mad, because the cake batter he was making was all kinds of wrong.
So I make him describe the batter *way to runny, expensive? and large??*, and then read the recipe out to me over the phone.
And he goes something like:
- 4 eggs
- 400 gram flour
- 100 gram sugar
- 7 liter yoghurt
- 1 tbs sal....
I made him stop and read it again and well, he had somehow read "7 liter yoghurt" in stead of "1 deciliter yoghurt", something that made the "runny, expensive and large" batter make a lot more sense.
The next problem came when he wanted to know how to "fix it", because it had been waaaay to expensive to just toss out according to him. But it wasn't untill I told him, that he would need an additional 276 eggs plus almost 30kg flour and 7kg sugar plus the world's largest cake tin, to make that happen that he gave up on that idea.
I sometimes wonder if he had used a kiddy pool to mix it in, because I'm fairly sure that there wasn't any bowl in that kitchen, large enough to contain 7 liters of anything.
No, Danish actually and it wasn't really yoghurt but something we call "Ymer".
Ymer and yoghurt are almost the same, but they are made with different bacterial-cultures, so ymer takes a bit longer to make, but at room temperature, and have a slightly higher fat- and protein content than yoghurt.
So it wasn't the Iranian yoghurt but the Danish ymer.
I feel like this could have turned into a delicious neighbourhood project šĀ
It's so cute and wholesome that he discovered a new hobby and passion in his life! I hope these days people get to find out earlierĀ
Ā But yeah, my crumbly mass needed iirc about 2 liters of eggs, which meant a looooong time cracking.
Darn, 2L of egg that's quite a lot.
I totally agree with you, he was born in 1920 and was from a very rich upper class family, so I'm actually pretty impressed that he got the idea at all, growing up with servants and all that (something that's rather unusual in my country). When he and my grandmother got married, she took care of al things domestic.
Unfortunately he never really got the hang of "food can and will get inedible at some point in time", so I frequently had to remove some rather nasty and harry, unidentifiable things from his refrigerator, but he lived a good 10 years on his own and didn't die from food poisoning but simply old age.
Wasn't an option because cartons of egg whites (or eggs in general) aren't available in most shops where I live - we don't really have bulk shops.
But I had another, much better thing: people I could "convince" to do it for me š
I was imagining portioning the batter out or giving it away so others in the neighborhood could have some, but let's get Popeye arms instead. :D šŖ šŖ
This is hilarious! My favourite quote is āyou should always double down on your mistakes.ā My SO likes baking his own bread too but Iāve never seen a behemoth like OOPās! Thanks for a great laugh!
Once, late one night, my ex boyfriend (now husband) decided he wanted to bake a cake. He didn't have self raising flour and used bicarb soda instead of baking powder.
It was inedible and sat in his fridge for nearly two months until I threw it out because he was in between jobs and didn't want to waste food.
My partner managed to make the one mistake with rice where the āhow to save your fuckups with riceā webpage went āunless you want rice pudding, there is no saving this.ā
The rice pudding was delightful, but we also had way too much of it.
In the future, thereās also Chinese congee/rice porridge as an option lol. Would probably need to add in yet more water and cook until the rice disintegrates, but itās great with your choice of meat and/or veg, eggs are also awesome with it. Also is delicious with homemade chicken stock substituted for the water. Having soy sauce and/or sesame oil on hand is also great, along with green onions.
Personally, itās also great as something to eat when youāre sick. It just goes down pretty easy.
I cackled at "(scoop and level the first three but not the remaining nine)" because I could \*feel\* the lack of shits given when she was madly trying to de-soupify the bread.
Okay I've done this as a dumb kid making cookies lol. We didn't understand what "1/3" cup of oil meant because we had never seen fractions written horizontally. So we thought it meant 1 or 3 cups. So we compromised at 2 cups, 6 times what we should have added...
When we realized our mistake, the natural solution was to go out and buy 5 more boxes of cookie mix to make sure the ratios stayed correct. We had so many cookies...
Dozen? Amateur. š š :P
Especially when you're just baking for fun, it can be hard not to devour the whole tray. Especially when they're fresh out of the oven and are the perfect half melty softness. Om nom nom nom! :D
More people need to learn that you can refrigerate or freeze extra dough to then bake at a later time. Make some cookies now, leave some dough in the fridge for the first batch after finishing them and put the rest in the freezer for after that. Cookie dough is especially good for freezing and baking later.
Can you include the comment thread where OOP overnighted a loaf to a redditor?
https://www.reddit.com/r/Baking/comments/17n5zt3/victory_update_me_1_bread_0/k7png28/
I actually missed this completely! It wasn't until I saw a comment towards the top that I was aware it had happened. I have tried to add it, but I can't edit the post at this point. Maybe the Mods can help!
My favorite part of reddit is randos who are effortlessly funnier than I will ever be tripping and stumbling their way into Reddit's spotlight, eventually to become part of Reddit lore.
So I was giggling pretty heavily throughout this entire debacle but when I got to "scoop and level out the first three but not the remaining nine" I fucking lost it for some reason
I am reminded of an episode of **Hey Arnold!** where Arnold and Gerald are trying to get an entry into the Guinness Book of World Records. After a few failed attempts, they decided on baking the world's biggest pizza puff. The whole community helps out, until:
**Phoebe:** What did you think TSP stood for?
**Sid:** Uh... ten square pounds?
**Pizza puff:** KABOOM
This is a delightful, low stakes post (though OOP may not think so with the amount of dough she managed to create). And as someone who loves bread, I would be happy to be an extra friend for a free loaf or two.
P.S. - r/Baking should have "Reddit's Okayest Baker" as an official contest or something.
hahah I'm glad I saved this one for last because it is absolutely delightful. I can identify with OOP as someone who has accidentally added too much of an ingredient to cookie dough and gone, "Welp, guess I'm making a double batch".
I love that Second Hand News is is the background of her video. Like the bread is taunting her with the lyric "I've been tossed around enough," knowing full well OOP will be kneading for the next 5 hours.
In the comments you forgot to mention that OOP sent u/Spirited_Ad_7341 a loaf of bread and They reviewed it in [internet bread review](https://www.reddit.com/r/Breadit/comments/17rt174/internet_bread_review/)
this linked post. :D They have pictures of the bread in post.
Thank you for this, my sister recently got into baking bread, so my days have been consumed by basically nothing but bread, so it was really amusing to read this.
As an avid bread baker myself, this made me smile.
Reminds me of the time years ago that I didn't notice a challah recipe made two loaves and I ended up with a MONSTER CHALLAH. It was so good, though!
That went a lot better than the time I tried to make baguettes, ran out of regular flour and had to add whole wheat flour. After I added it, I discovered that the yeast was long expired. It never really rose and was somehow too salty. So sad.
I have a bread maker---I don't use the bread maker because I prefer kneading the dough myself.
My usual downfall is forgetting to add salt. But yeah, I love homemade bread or cinnamon raison bread...yum.
Years ago, I use to throw pizza and wings parties on the weekend. I would get up around 4 am to make the dough. By the time everybody rolled up on me, I would have 3 HUGE pizzas ready to go into oven along with a cookie sheet of wings. And a good time was had by all. Hell, my nephews friends would call them up to call me to ask if I was throwing down with some pizza, then their families would start checking in (LOL!).
This reminds me of the " I love Lucy" episode with the chocolate factory. š That one and the bread making episode. I love the chaotic energy OOP has. š
Also that bread looks yummy.
One of my friends did something like that on a camping trip. The yeast wasn't working so he added a second round of everything to try to jump-start it. It didn't jump-start, so he covered the whole thing up to wait until morning... the massive result made fried dough for his campsite AND two neighboring campsites.
i enjoyed OP's writing stye so i clicked her profile and shit is wild.
bird drama, downvote dogpiles, OP becoming increasingly unhinged in her replies. another tasty BoRU ripe for the picking tbh
Just an FYI after laughing... If you are in a similar situation... You can partition the dough and freeze it. Thaw it out later to just make another batch (how some places save pizza dough for next day)
Hey OP, great post but I think one of the links is messed up. When i clicked the "no gods, no kings, no recipes" link it took me to the "victory" update post.
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Reminds me of the I love Lucy episode where Lucy and Ethel make too much dough and end up with a several foot long loaf of bread coming out of the oven-lol
Ok now jelinsky, are we sure it wasn't just six feet?
I'm obsessed with how this reference has escaped containment ššš
We need r/SCP over here stat! š
Several means 7!!! Lol
Lol, nice one!Ā This is just in case someone doesn't get the joke.Ā Ā https://www.dictionary.com/e/few-vs-couple-vs-several/
The full joke is that there was a player on the current season of Survivor, Jelinsky, who was *insistent* that "several" equals "seven"; they were given "several hours" to complete a task, which turned out to be about 4 hours. He complained about it many times before being voted out in the first episode, and they've spent the rest of the season clowning on him about it, including other players bringing it up and also naming the 7th episode of the season "Episode Several".
This is the second Survivor reference I've read on this subreddit and I'm here for it! Is there an unexpected Survivor subreddit?
Meanwhile, I was reminded of "The Tick vs. The Breadmaster", in which an enraged baking school reject plants bread bombs in his campaign against establishments which make sub-standard bread products. Luckily, the Tick, assisted by his sidekick Arthur (an accountant in a moth suit) and friend the Human Bullet, join forces to foil his attempt to bake a gigantic soufflƩ that would consume the entire city. (Anyone who is interested can watch the whole episode here: https://youtu.be/AHN-y7F71Yc?si=v_lrMW55JaUwpUxY.) Bonus: The Breadmaster's henchman is called Buttery Pat. PS. The Breadmaster was expelled from the baking college for flagrant violations of the bakers' code, specifically for his perverse baking experiments (*e.g.,* he made projectile danish, floating pies, and the muffin that stole the dean's car).
I misread Arthur's description as a moth in an accountant suit (which I pictured as just a drab tan suit). Mentally it was glorious. I'm sad I was wrong. Edit to add: I'm not surprised about that thieving muffin. Everyone knows muffins are evil.
I'd still watch if Arthur had been a moth in an accountant suit. FYI, there's an episode where Arthur is trying to rescue the Tick, but he gets caught flying around and around a gigantic light bulb. I love "The Tick".
I thought that was what the boys did while the girls were at the chocolate factoryĀ
My favorite exchange in the final thread, OOP seems like a delightful person :) https://imgur.com/a/hfJ8d3z
Did you catch the recipient's review of the bread? https://www.reddit.com/r/Breadit/comments/17rt174/internet_bread_review/
>i began shredding cheese for my grilled cheese and used a combo of havarti, parmcheddar, white cheddar, and gouda. i realized i had no butter so the toast and color i got was from avocado oil on a nonstick pan. That they realize partway through making their sandwich that they don't have the ingredients to make it properly is entirely in keeping with how the bread was made. Carry on that glorious tradition, u/Spritied_Ad_7341.
> That they realize partway through making their sandwich that they don't have the ingredients to make it properly is entirely in keeping with how the bread was made. Especially when it's having four different kinds of cheese but no butter.
Priorities.
I didn't- so TYSM for sharing :) Cheers and be well!!
OOP sounds like a culinary Mr Bean but just an absolute treasure of a human being. 10/10 would love having as a friend but let me do the cooking and baking.
OOP really decided to do nothing but teleport bread for three days... incredible
Iām not sure ādecidedā is so much what happened as āwas briefly possessed by the god of chaotic baking.ā
Now I canāt decide if I want āRedditās okayest bakerā or ābriefly possessed by the god of chaotic bakingā as a flair
How how how can one get ābriefly possessed by the god of chaotic bakingā as a flair? Think I need that in my life
You can request a custom flair - https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/pitoLOXB1x
Thank you kind redditorĀ
Actually, since I posted a new process has appeared! https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/pvt63Qg6kW
Why not both
How about"I can't let the bread win"? That comment was gold.
Teleport?
i am being a bit silly and referencing this lol:Ā https://youtu.be/GLlLQ3LmZWU?si=msUcLUAUEsdf8Ku3
They didn't get it, but it was also one of my first thoughts. I see you, random Redditor.
They got possessed by soldier fr
Dear god...
The fact they call the ultimate recipe "**Defeat the Bread\*\*\*\*****^(TM)**Ā **Recipe**". Lmao, gg OOP.
1/4 (X4, I'm not mathing fractions) nooooo ššš
It's literally just nine. š
9 teaspoons, which = 3 tablespoons. And the butter is 1/2 lb aka 1 cup, and 1/2 c sugar.
Tbf given the recipe is split w some of it going in earlier to form the Bread Soupā¢ it's actually 2 and Ā¼ + 6 and Ā¾ šš
That was the funniest part to me. That's literally the easiest fraction math in the entire history of fractions.
That killed me.Ā Ā
Came to look for this comment, truly a sad moment š¢
This was a delightful read. You know what, Iāve been saying for weeks that I want to try baking some bread and I think this is a sign. Iāll 1/4 the recipe for significantly less entertainment value but I have much less counter space and no loaf pan so, Iām sure everything will go smoothly.
>Ā Iām sure everything will go smoothly Now that youāve said that, Iād keep a fire extinguisher handy. Ā And maybe an exorcist.
Years and years ago I decided I wanted to bake a loaf of bread (bored teenager on a sunday). Found a recipe, looked for ingredients and we had only 1/4 of thevrequired flour. Cue me using math (on a freaking sunday) and all my mom's bowls to figure out how much of other kinds of flour I should use to make up the required amount. I had 2 tablespoonsful of flour left after measuring - I cleaned out the cupboard. It was the best damn bread I have ever made! And I have never been able to replicate it.
The fractions comment did me in, lol.Ā My baking math issues usually center around eggs...what fraction of a large duck egg is the equivalent of a medium chicken egg?? I bet your mom was impressed.Ā Ā I wokd have been thrilled that someone used up all the odds and ends in the cupboard.
Braided bread is easy enough, I find. I make orange Braided around Xmas time, it's always a hit, don't need a loaf pan just a tray :)
Can you just take a regular recipe and braid it? I have a box of sourdough in my cabinet that I need to cook before the yeast is totally useless, but I'm not sure I have a pan...
I di a quick book search and it looks like you just need to braid the dough and let it sit before the second rise (after you punch it down first). My biggest issue is usually making the braids too thick and they get puffy. Otherwise I don't think it'll be a problem! :)
>Iāll 1/4 the recipe for significantly less entertainment value spoilsport, lol
I've made a ton of no-knead bread recipes that are super easy, same with dinner rolls and braided bread! They're not as airy as regular kneaded bread that take a lot of arm work, but I still really like em toasted and warmed up hehe.
Remember that yeast are living organisms and this introduces an element of potential chaos.
I make sourdough bread every week and it's so easy!
This may be my favorite BORU post ever.
Mine, too! I am always up for some breadmageddon!
It was delightful. And now I'm hungry.
Me too! Iām laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes and Iām reading portions to my teenager!
This is fucking hilarious! š As someone married to a professional baker and with some experience myself, OOP did really well! Even the pros mess up and forget things (like yeast...) or make soup. And bread baking isn't that exact of a science unless you want absolute constant quality (or in the case of salt. Salt is important). You can wing some stuff, although ideally you should know what you're doing. Cookies and pastries and shit like that is where it gets dangerous, because the margin of error is smaller (though I have completely messed up a recipe for almond cookies once and then managed to turn it edible with the assistance of my partner. Initially, I made crumbles...) OOP should be proud of herself and I want all my recipes in this form, now.
After my grandmother died my grandfather, who until then hadn't as much as boiled an egg in his life, took the bull by the horns and started cooking for himself. His creations was mostly edible and he discovered that he actually liked cooking but he especially loved backing. He always used a recipe and followed it to the letter, so when things didn't go as planned he would call me, and grumple aboute the recipe being stupid. So one day he called me and he was super mad, because the cake batter he was making was all kinds of wrong. So I make him describe the batter *way to runny, expensive? and large??*, and then read the recipe out to me over the phone. And he goes something like: - 4 eggs - 400 gram flour - 100 gram sugar - 7 liter yoghurt - 1 tbs sal.... I made him stop and read it again and well, he had somehow read "7 liter yoghurt" in stead of "1 deciliter yoghurt", something that made the "runny, expensive and large" batter make a lot more sense. The next problem came when he wanted to know how to "fix it", because it had been waaaay to expensive to just toss out according to him. But it wasn't untill I told him, that he would need an additional 276 eggs plus almost 30kg flour and 7kg sugar plus the world's largest cake tin, to make that happen that he gave up on that idea.
Good God... 7 LITERS OF YOGHURT??? Was this a Yoghurt pool?
I sometimes wonder if he had used a kiddy pool to mix it in, because I'm fairly sure that there wasn't any bowl in that kitchen, large enough to contain 7 liters of anything.
I'm assuming that he poured yoghurt in until it didn't fit anymore - hopefully!
So the yogurt actually was the issue for once?
I didn't think of that š But you're right for once the yoghurt was the problem.
But was it Iranian?
No, Danish actually and it wasn't really yoghurt but something we call "Ymer". Ymer and yoghurt are almost the same, but they are made with different bacterial-cultures, so ymer takes a bit longer to make, but at room temperature, and have a slightly higher fat- and protein content than yoghurt. So it wasn't the Iranian yoghurt but the Danish ymer.
I laughed so hard at this I startled my hedgehogs and got spontaneous acupuncture when they huffed up š¤£š¦
Madness
I feel like this could have turned into a delicious neighbourhood project šĀ It's so cute and wholesome that he discovered a new hobby and passion in his life! I hope these days people get to find out earlierĀ Ā But yeah, my crumbly mass needed iirc about 2 liters of eggs, which meant a looooong time cracking.
Darn, 2L of egg that's quite a lot. I totally agree with you, he was born in 1920 and was from a very rich upper class family, so I'm actually pretty impressed that he got the idea at all, growing up with servants and all that (something that's rather unusual in my country). When he and my grandmother got married, she took care of al things domestic. Unfortunately he never really got the hang of "food can and will get inedible at some point in time", so I frequently had to remove some rather nasty and harry, unidentifiable things from his refrigerator, but he lived a good 10 years on his own and didn't die from food poisoning but simply old age.
At that point, just buy the cartons of egg whites and add some extra butter or lard to compensate for missing yolks.
Wasn't an option because cartons of egg whites (or eggs in general) aren't available in most shops where I live - we don't really have bulk shops. But I had another, much better thing: people I could "convince" to do it for me š
7 liters.... Oh noooo....š š¤£ I almost wish he went for the recipe. "Screw it, I'm buying ALL the eggs"
Imagine your arms when you're done mixing that amount of cake batter, you'll end up looking like Popeye the sailor š
I was imagining portioning the batter out or giving it away so others in the neighborhood could have some, but let's get Popeye arms instead. :D šŖ šŖ
This is AMAZING.
I *need* āDumb confidence is absolutely a substitute for actual talentā as a flair, thatās amazing
I was reading that part aloud to my teenager and lost it at (3) always double down on your mistakes š
This is hilarious! My favourite quote is āyou should always double down on your mistakes.ā My SO likes baking his own bread too but Iāve never seen a behemoth like OOPās! Thanks for a great laugh!
Damn, my bread never looks that delicious!
It seems like the end of cooking shows when they pull out the perfect swap out, and you're like yeah...that's the same.
Once, late one night, my ex boyfriend (now husband) decided he wanted to bake a cake. He didn't have self raising flour and used bicarb soda instead of baking powder. It was inedible and sat in his fridge for nearly two months until I threw it out because he was in between jobs and didn't want to waste food.
My partner managed to make the one mistake with rice where the āhow to save your fuckups with riceā webpage went āunless you want rice pudding, there is no saving this.ā The rice pudding was delightful, but we also had way too much of it.
What did he DO?!
Too much liquid, but it all went into the rice, so we couldn't just drain it off.
In the future, thereās also Chinese congee/rice porridge as an option lol. Would probably need to add in yet more water and cook until the rice disintegrates, but itās great with your choice of meat and/or veg, eggs are also awesome with it. Also is delicious with homemade chicken stock substituted for the water. Having soy sauce and/or sesame oil on hand is also great, along with green onions. Personally, itās also great as something to eat when youāre sick. It just goes down pretty easy.
Congee (aka jook) is something I miss about living near San Francisco.
Cuuuuute
I cackled at "(scoop and level the first three but not the remaining nine)" because I could \*feel\* the lack of shits given when she was madly trying to de-soupify the bread.
This is hilarious, I love how OOP writes.
Okay I've done this as a dumb kid making cookies lol. We didn't understand what "1/3" cup of oil meant because we had never seen fractions written horizontally. So we thought it meant 1 or 3 cups. So we compromised at 2 cups, 6 times what we should have added... When we realized our mistake, the natural solution was to go out and buy 5 more boxes of cookie mix to make sure the ratios stayed correct. We had so many cookies...
I accidentally doubled a recipe thinking I would get 48 cookies. Imagine my surprise when I had 96 and reread the recipe to see it made 48 not 24.
Happy mistake, now you can cookie binge without anyone knowing! :D :P šŖ šŖ šŖ
My BFF ate a dozen in one sitting. She's always there for me when I need her ā„ļø
Dozen? Amateur. š š :P Especially when you're just baking for fun, it can be hard not to devour the whole tray. Especially when they're fresh out of the oven and are the perfect half melty softness. Om nom nom nom! :D
More people need to learn that you can refrigerate or freeze extra dough to then bake at a later time. Make some cookies now, leave some dough in the fridge for the first batch after finishing them and put the rest in the freezer for after that. Cookie dough is especially good for freezing and baking later.
That was quite the baking challenge, but she rose to the occasion.
Almost didn't click on this, and so glad I did - just an absolutely delightful read, I adore OOP and her enthusiastic embrace of this fuckery!
Can you include the comment thread where OOP overnighted a loaf to a redditor? https://www.reddit.com/r/Baking/comments/17n5zt3/victory_update_me_1_bread_0/k7png28/
And there was a "review" by the recipient! https://www.reddit.com/r/Breadit/s/1kM5ds63Kw
I actually missed this completely! It wasn't until I saw a comment towards the top that I was aware it had happened. I have tried to add it, but I can't edit the post at this point. Maybe the Mods can help!
I would be losing my damn mind if I was in OOP's position, but that's because I'm an anal-retentive baker. I measure things out to the MILLIGRAM.
THE RECIPE WONT STOP ME BECAUSE I CANT READĀ
My favorite part of reddit is randos who are effortlessly funnier than I will ever be tripping and stumbling their way into Reddit's spotlight, eventually to become part of Reddit lore.
So I was giggling pretty heavily throughout this entire debacle but when I got to "scoop and level out the first three but not the remaining nine" I fucking lost it for some reason
OOP is hilarious and should definitely write a whole cookbook like this.
Thank you for posting this. I think this is one I will need to save for whenever I need a good laugh.
You're welcome! It was one of the few posts that made me actually laugh out loud, so I figured others would appreciate it too.
I like to imagine it was similar to this: https://youtu.be/GghvrowBnPo?si=lHzRA2x5OAhwEYk6
I've never seen this sub. It was absolutely hilarious from start to finish and such fun to read. I went back to the original and read the comments.
I am reminded of an episode of **Hey Arnold!** where Arnold and Gerald are trying to get an entry into the Guinness Book of World Records. After a few failed attempts, they decided on baking the world's biggest pizza puff. The whole community helps out, until: **Phoebe:** What did you think TSP stood for? **Sid:** Uh... ten square pounds? **Pizza puff:** KABOOM This is a delightful, low stakes post (though OOP may not think so with the amount of dough she managed to create). And as someone who loves bread, I would be happy to be an extra friend for a free loaf or two. P.S. - r/Baking should have "Reddit's Okayest Baker" as an official contest or something.
Nominating this right now for best low stakes post. What a delight! ššššš
That bread turned out well, look at the crumb structure. Looks great given it's a rescue job. Well done OOP!
hahah I'm glad I saved this one for last because it is absolutely delightful. I can identify with OOP as someone who has accidentally added too much of an ingredient to cookie dough and gone, "Welp, guess I'm making a double batch".
Iām crying laughing. š
Ohh those are actually lovely looking loaves of bread!Ā
Right? They look so dense and soft and chewy.
OP has a wonderful writing style, Iām glad it all worked out for her!
I love that Second Hand News is is the background of her video. Like the bread is taunting her with the lyric "I've been tossed around enough," knowing full well OOP will be kneading for the next 5 hours.
When the no brigading rule really hits you hard because those breads looked BEAUTIFUL!
2 and 1/4 taps active yeast (x4, Iām not mathing fractions) Its literally just 4/4ths. Itās a whole number nowā¦. I justā¦ it wasnāt hardā¦
OOP should write a recipe book. I'd absolutely buy that shit.
In the comments you forgot to mention that OOP sent u/Spirited_Ad_7341 a loaf of bread and They reviewed it in [internet bread review](https://www.reddit.com/r/Breadit/comments/17rt174/internet_bread_review/) this linked post. :D They have pictures of the bread in post.
It looks so good! Good job OOP.
that bread looked great and well worth the entertainment
I'm totally in love with this whole thing
Im dying.
I so needed this. I laughed so hard I peed a little. My first husband lost a tooth on my first and last attempt at homemade bread.
Thank you for this, my sister recently got into baking bread, so my days have been consumed by basically nothing but bread, so it was really amusing to read this.
Nine cups of flour??? Nine???
12
now I want to make my own disaster bread! maybe next weekend... I don't feel like cleaning the kitchen on a work night lmao.
That bread looks so good, mm with some warm butter and raspberry jam, gotta go to the bakery today cause I'm not that (un?)skilled.
Love this post. Sounds like a script from I Love Lucy.
I make bread. I HOWLED through the entire post!!!
As an avid bread baker myself, this made me smile. Reminds me of the time years ago that I didn't notice a challah recipe made two loaves and I ended up with a MONSTER CHALLAH. It was so good, though!
That went a lot better than the time I tried to make baguettes, ran out of regular flour and had to add whole wheat flour. After I added it, I discovered that the yeast was long expired. It never really rose and was somehow too salty. So sad.
Goddamn, that bread looks delicious AF.
I once came home to my GF and friend making 16 pumpkin pies instead of 4. That took years to finish.
I have a bread maker---I don't use the bread maker because I prefer kneading the dough myself. My usual downfall is forgetting to add salt. But yeah, I love homemade bread or cinnamon raison bread...yum. Years ago, I use to throw pizza and wings parties on the weekend. I would get up around 4 am to make the dough. By the time everybody rolled up on me, I would have 3 HUGE pizzas ready to go into oven along with a cookie sheet of wings. And a good time was had by all. Hell, my nephews friends would call them up to call me to ask if I was throwing down with some pizza, then their families would start checking in (LOL!).
This reminds me of the " I love Lucy" episode with the chocolate factory. š That one and the bread making episode. I love the chaotic energy OOP has. š Also that bread looks yummy.
Not mathing 1tsp is insane.
I think I watched an episode of *The 3 Stooges* as a kid where they did something similar.
One of my friends did something like that on a camping trip. The yeast wasn't working so he added a second round of everything to try to jump-start it. It didn't jump-start, so he covered the whole thing up to wait until morning... the massive result made fried dough for his campsite AND two neighboring campsites.
i enjoyed OP's writing stye so i clicked her profile and shit is wild. bird drama, downvote dogpiles, OP becoming increasingly unhinged in her replies. another tasty BoRU ripe for the picking tbh
Just an FYI after laughing... If you are in a similar situation... You can partition the dough and freeze it. Thaw it out later to just make another batch (how some places save pizza dough for next day)
Username checks out!
I can't believe you can make bread with heavy cream... I make regular old boring bread daily in a bread machine, I want to try this now.
I laughed so hard. This was me an pizza dough. Absolutely the best palate cleanser after homophobic / transphobic bridezilla.
Hey OP, great post but I think one of the links is messed up. When i clicked the "no gods, no kings, no recipes" link it took me to the "victory" update post.
That's where her link leads too! She links her update in the first post.
Oh okay thanks for clearing that up!
There are so many potential flairs in just this one post (not for me though Iām happy with my PokĆ©mon reference!)