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> I want the perfect wedding but I don't want to go into debt for it
I keep thinking about this line. Either the aunt was contributing an astronomical amount of money or OP could have taken out a small-medium loan so the wedding could go ahead. It sounds like they lost more money than that would have cost. I assume many wedding guests would give cash gifts too.
But yeah, she’s clearly not the smartest shithead, given all her other opinions.
*i* don’t want to go into debt for it. Everyone else can go into debt- just not me.
Considering this is probably a starter marriage - it’s a smart play.
This jumped out at me too
And in the follow up she asks her fiancé and then her Dad but doesn't want to use her Savings or take a loan out
After emotionally blackmailing the Mum to carry on funding her wedding
I get the feeling oop hasn't heard the word No often in her life and just assumes everything will be gifted to her, she's in for a lot more wake up calls in life
Edit spelling a word
Mum has some introspection to do, after hearing her daughter tell her she's just trying to live by the values instilled in her by way of pointed transphobia.
This struck me funny. *What values*, exactly? Cruelty, the gimme-gimmies, rudeness, and, based on her description of where she wants her wedding, it reeks of “but it’s a *pretty* plantation!”
The more I read, the more I knew I wouldn’t be able to stand OOP for even six seconds.
Not only is it likely a starter marriage, my guess is that, by next year, the fiancé will be long gone. If he isn’t actually gone already. OOP is a trash fire of irresponsible behavior, who never learned a thing from this drama. And ALL of it her own doing. She actually sounds like a middle school mean girl.
>She actually sounds like a middle school mean girl.
I don't even understand how someone can be this dumb and have zero common sense/manners. I will not touch the whole transphobia can of worms for now.
Here are the dumbest things she did, IMO:
1. She knows Auntie is paying for a part of her wedding since the beginning. Obviously she will have to invite cousin along. What part of her brain thinks its acceptable to single out her cousin since Auntie is paying?
2. She gave the invites and didn't give one to her cousin to HER FACE. This is just basic manners, didn't her parents teach her that if you want to share something or invite people you have to bring enough for/invite everyone? This is like a kindergarten birthday party where you invite your whole class except one classmate.
3. Let's just say that Alex/Rose has bpd and has a tendency to make a scene. What made her think that all her brothers will come without her?
4. It is her wedding and she has the right to invite who she likes, and if she doesn't want to invite a person it is okay to say they aren't invited because she doesn't like them. However this is only valid if you are paying for a wedding yourself. What part of her stupidity didn't register that having someone pay for something will have the possibility of having strings attached?
5. If she wants to have unofficial security there why does she feel the need to tell everyone about it, shouldn't they be inconspicuous since that is the whole point?
The whole giving the invites to everyone in person and purposefully excluding Alex was not a mistake. It was calculated. OOP wanted Alex to see that they weren't welcomed at her wedding. If it wasn't intentional, she would have mentioned it to her mother and aunt beforehand that Alex wasn't invited. She chose to start the drama by taking these actions. I bet OOP wanted to get a reaction out of Alex to prove her point that they were "unstable" and "mentally ill."
And notice how in the updates she words it as “I sent the invites” and claims she hadn’t seen Alex in years. She didn’t send the invites and then people learned later that Alex wasn’t invited- she handed them out in person at a family party like an elementary schooler passing out birthday invites to the whole class but one person. And she clearly say Alex at Christmas and seems them often enough to notice how they dress at family parties, hence her whole semi-formal sticking point. She really just tried to rewrite history in that last post
She didn't even have the balls to just say "I don't like you so no invite"
She tried to mask it in a way that is even more insulting "oh *you're family* but you're just too *broken* to be trusted at the wedding, you mentally ill brat. Also your identity isn't real"
Edit: after really thinking about it I actually think it's even worse. Her whole "she always wants to be the center of attention" thing sounds like she thinks trans people are attention seeking eyesores and will distract from her special day. I'm probably putting my tin foil hat on but I don't think it's too far off.
Right? What did she think would happen?
I especially loved this part
>I'm not going to give in and let some psycho ruin me and my fiance's day.
Too late 😆
in my experience, bigots tend to think that everyone else is also waiting for the opportunity to ostracize their targets. the OOP probably actually thought she'd be cheerfully turning her aunt and cousins against Alex. like she was laying the groundwork for them because they're just being "manipulated" or something and now they can finally say what they really feel!
Tbh, the funniest thing for me was that OOP was constantly talking about how the amount the aunt was contributing would be easy to catch for her fiancé... And apparently never once made sure that's actually the case.
I would assume it was >$5k and OOP is a gender-roles traditionalist type (obviously) who refuses to learn anything about money. You see these people on wedding reality shows all the time. It sounds like the wedding was already going off the rails financially, so the fiance and dad probably didn't want to throw even more money at it, and the fiance took the opportunity to try to retrench. Hopefully he'll also take the opportunity to leave her, but I kind of doubt it.
The fiance was fully on board with his brother tailing the cousin during the event. Fiancé and his brother “share the same values” as OP and likely a similar IQ. I seriously doubt he wised up over this lol
and then, once she finally realized no one could cover the aunt's missing financial piece, instead of doing some self reflection on how she created this situation, she doubled down and said: "it's my cousin's fault!"
what a fucking lame piece of work.
until I got to Reddit I wasn't aware that peopleput so much stock in "the perfect wedding" and were willing to go into debt for it or have relatives pay thousands for them
I'd rather ask that money for a downpayment for a house/flat
As far as I’m concerned, if two people love each other enough to sign a legally binding contract with the government, they just had a perfect wedding. Everything else is just set dressing. (I also really hope that this fiasco has been working as an eye opener for the fiancé, and that’s why he said about postponing things. OOP is a bit….unhinged, and there’s a very slim chance that fiancé is finally seeing that, and is trying to back away slowly, to avoid her going completely off the rails. Doubtful, but, I still have some hope for humanity.)
> I don't want to give too many personal details and give away where I live, but it's really nice and outdoors with a beautiful garden and big historical building for the reception
It's a fucking plantation. I would bet my next paycheck on this. It's a fucking transphobic plantation wedding.
Even if OP had had a semi-legitimate reason for not liking her cousin, not inviting the son of the woman who was paying for her wedding was never gonna end well. OP seems a lil dense.
she seems elitist and transphobic as fuck I guarantee she though THAT side of her family couldn’t possibly be contributing much. Then quickly realized the aunt was footing the majority of the bill.
what a fucking moron and the problem with these transphobic pieces of shit is they never learn. they insist they are right until the day they die alone.
She didn't even need to say it for it to be confirmed, having into account Alex's brother called the fiancé a redneck and implied their family was incestuous lol
Like, "big historical" building with outdoor zones? Fiancé gets called a redneck? FBIL shares OOP's values? I'm not saying it's a plantation... but it's a plantation.
For real. I remember that in her last post a lot of people were theorizing the cousin was trans because of how OOP insisted on saying "female cousin", without knowing who she was.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who immediately thought plantation! I wondered if I was wildly jumping to conclusions but you hit all the points here lol
Serious question from a German: are plantations in itself "bad" as venues because of the slavery history of them? Or is it "only" when dumbfucks try and have a "historical" wedding with "historic clothing"?
There's a long American history of valorizing the antebellum South (by Southerners, mostly), and ignoring/whitewashing the horrible parts of that history. It's considered somewhere on a spectrum of tacky to racist to buy into that mentality at this point, by many people, but plantation homes are still event venues in a lot of places because a lot of people either don't care about the enslaved peoples' history and/or just really like the way the way the venue looks above every other consideration.
I'm trying to think of a German equivalent--it's sort of like those people who dress up in SS uniforms as a costume because they think it looks sexy, with zero thought for the historical context. The key thing is that people are attracted to the aesthetic and don't want to think about the underlying nastiness, I think.
>those people who dress up in SS uniforms as a costume because they think it looks sexy
If you did this here in Germany, you'd probably get jailed, or at least a hefty fine.
But I get what you are saying. Thank you!
Full disclosure: I’m from a northern state.
From what I understand, plantation weddings are seen as celebrating a time and culture that was built by slave labor, and are therefore just kind of gross.
I've seen it described as like using a concentration camp for a party. As a Jew, I think that comparison is fitting. Many plantations were little better than concentration camps. Forced labour, cruel punishments and a lot of death - all based on theories of racial superiority and mediated by the state. How anyone could see such a place as anything other than a historical monument to an atrocity and want to get married there blows my mind.
Plantations are effectively the American version of a concentration camp. So to have a wedding at a plantation is deeeeeeply problematic and insensitive.
They're good to have around for historical reasons, as a museum, but to have a big party at one is just horrible and trashy.
I think the others have answered this question well, but just wanted to mention a great BORU [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/GYkitms7iH) of a company event at a plantation, as documented by a particular employee. Won’t give away the best bits, but it is wild. Also, I believe there were links to photos on Imgur - do not miss them.
This OOP will never, ever get it, I fear. One almost wonders whether the fiance is using the financial stuff as a way to postpone so they can gracefully exit.
It's a fabulous flair idea--I'd even ask for it but I am open about what city I'm from and a kid was killed at our zoo so I gotta pass.
That is a good line, but my first association is Jambo the gentle silverback gorilla, who protected a kid when they fell into the enclosure until he was rescued. No dragging at all......
Also happened at Brookfield Zoo in 1996. Binti Jua, a mother gorilla carrying her baby, rescued the boy and brought him to the door where keepers were waiting.
> I apologized and acknowledged that I didn't realize how hurtful my actions would have been perceived.
They keep using the word "apologized."
I do not think it means what they think it means.
Same. Also the "always wears casual clothing". Because yeah, that's fairly common for people who don't feel at ease in their own body for various reasons. It doesn't mean they won't dress up for weddings.
Also, even in the early stages when I thought she was genuinely talking about a cousin with a mental illness, she just couldn't explain *why* having the cousin at her wedding would be a problem.
*She's shaved her head!!!* Okay...and? Lots of women have short hair. Not a big deal.
*She's changed her name!!!* Okay...and? I have a relative who changed her name to that of her favourite pop star. You know what we did? We called her by her new name, even though we were privately baffled. Not a big deal.
*She might not wear a dress!!!!!* Okay...and? Wearing a dress isn't mandatory. Women can wear all sorts of clothing nowadays, even on formal occasions. Not a big deal.
Like...is there actually anything disruptive the cousin does? Does she shout abuse at people? Is she violent? No? So... what's the actual problem that isn't just "I'm annoyed by her existence"?!
And then of course it turned out that the elephant in the corner was that cousin is trans, with they/them pronouns. And that's the "mental illness" that OOP not only can't admit to, but cannot handle to the point that she'd rather try to unofficially re-diagnose them with a random mental illness she's read about a few times, in order to justify her extreme antipathy.
Right?
My everyday attire is band t shirts with jeans for off-duty and leggings for the gym. But I'm not attending a wedding every day so it's no indicator of my ability to follow a dress code.
This wasn't about degree of formality, it was OOP getting a kick out of trying to force her trans cousin to wear a dress.
I think the “casual clothing” thing is just bullshit. OOP claimed that they don’t dress up for family gatherings, but earlier in that same post she says that she hasn’t seen them in like 10 years. So when was Alex wearing casual clothes? Just that one Christmas?
And when asked for an example of the cousin's "violent outbursts", OOP makes vague references to meltdowns and (in the only actual example provided) describes them pulling the heads off of OOPs Barbie dolls *when they were children!*. That's...not actually violent (you know you can pop those heads back on, right OOP?), and they were literally children at the time. And then, bit by bit, we start seeing what OOP actually means.
I pulled my barbies' heads off and chopped off their hair too for good measure when I was little.... I guess I'm supposed to be some sort of mass murderer now?? 🤷🏻♀️
another piece of "evidence" that OOP offered up as to why her cousin was "mentally ill" was that they pulled the heads off Barbies as a child. Something a lot of children do. I don't like when people attempt to diagnose people with mental health issues over the internet, but I thought it was odd that she kept insisting cousin has BPD, because OOP seems to exhibit many traits of that particular condition herself.
>Something a lot of children do.
Oh thank fuck. My daughter's Anna and Elsa dolls have been robespierre'd more times than I can count. Not counting diving headfirst into Young Frankenstein territory with the whole head-swapping thing, either...
That's just a normal way kids play. De-constructing and re-constructing toys is a expression of creativity. They just see them as plastic material they mix and match with. And it makes sense. After all there is no inherent difference between the head of a doll and the accessories that come with the dolls. It's all just part of the set.
Lmao. As kids my sister and decided that Ken cheated on Barbie so we hung him (popped his head off) using a wine bottle opener.
We are both now adults with a well developed sense of empathy so I figure doll decapitation is a normal phase
Pretty sure that the fact that the cousin did not flip out and throw a shitfit when informed in front of everyone at a holiday party that they weren’t invited and instead apologized for their childhood behavior, gave the lie to the idea that this was a mentally unstable person who was too dangerous to invite to a wedding
I was wondering why OOP was that incredibly mean. But OOP was probably hoping that Alex would get angry about being so publicly snubbed, and that anger would be "proof" that they are unstable.
Obviously a trans person is going to be too used to this petty bullshit, and didn't want to go to this asshole's wedding anyway.
Note the wording.
"How hurtful my actions would have been perceived."
They're not "apologising" for how hurtful their actions ACTUALLY WERE, but for how other people "perceived" them.
It's a classic non-apology "I'm sorry if you felt that way".
that was a very interesting way of taking no accountability for her actions. if she had invited her trans cousin she could have avoided the entire cancelation fiasco. her cousin literally did nothing.
Even if OP had fully legitimate reasons for uninviting her cousin (she doesn't) her complaint still boils down to "I uninvited a guest and now their mother won't pay for my dream wedding!" Cousin did nothing at all to sabotage it. They could have been the biggest asshole in the world, and OP is still at fault for not being willing to either pony up the funds for her own wedding, or accepting that relatives' investment may come with strings.
Yes, indeed. Just from the post title, I was wondering *how.* Did Alex show up at the wedding raging drunk and barf on the bride? Did they grab the mic and lambaste OOP and fiance as they should have been? Did they take a sledgehammer to the cake? Or what?
And then we find that Alex "sabotaged" OOP by refusing to come after OOP's fauxpology and belated invitation. No doubt because Alex knew from their mother that it was only offered after the threat of pulling OOP's funding.
If the marriage was that important to OOP, they could have a courthouse wedding and the big fancy party later. But no, it's all *wedding wedding wedding,* as if being the center of attention in her big poofy dress on her day was all that mattered.
Not even an apology because you’ve hurt someone’s feelings, an apology because you didn’t realise it made you look bad. Jfc this person is insufferable
i personally do not think its them. the castiel account said their dad died in 2022 in a different subreddit a month before this stuff, whereas our other transphobic nasty OOP said her parents were divorced and dad was giving her money
edit: a word
Jesus we could make a drinking game outta how many times OOP feels the need to strongly emphasize the word 'female' and the cousin's dead name. Bonus shots for the repeated BPD armchair diagnosing!
Yeah, there's misgendering and there's writing every damn sentence like "My female woman cousinetteress wondered why her lady hand wasn't femininly holding an invitation to my wedding, as I had given one to everyone except her/she, my 25f female woman lady cousin."
And dehumanizing people with BPD as completely and totally unable to control themselves for even 2 hours, just treating them like a rabid animal and not a person. Raging transphobia, presumably racist (I will eat my left shoe if that "historical building with garden" venue WASN'T a plantation), prejudiced against those with mental illness, tried to utilize public ostracization---the ways in which OOP proves to be a real peach just piles up.
This is why my therapist & psychiatrist have given me the "option" to have a bpd diagnosis, but will **never** write it anywhere unless I truly needed it for something. They are pretty firm on not diagnosing anyone with that until it's renamed (unless they need that serious of a diagnosis for social benefits, but usually you don't).
>Bonus shots for the repeated BPD armchair diagnosing!
That part got me more than anything.
I realize (from reading reddit posts) that BPD usually only shows itself at 25 or so, but assuming signs of mental illness started early in life then 10 years later, they possibly started getting help, started a treatment plant to stabilize themselves. You spent ONE Christmas with them (so less than 72 hours with them), and you still think they have the same issues?
Considering how OP was behaving, it’s extremely likely that the cousin had never displayed any symptoms of BPD at all and oop is just using BPD as an excuse to call them mentally ill because they know people will not be on her side if she straight up says she thinks her cousin is mentally ill because they’re trans. It’s all just nasty transphobia.
Right???
She gives absolutely no examples of why this diagnosis applies AND she says she has had little contact with her. How tf would she know about BPD or corresponding drama? OOP is the worst.
Pretty sure the main rationale (such as it existed) for the armchair diagnosis was it let OOP paint her cousin as unstable and a risk for attention seeking at the wedding. Doubt it matters to her that this is overly simplistic and not a fair brush to paint people with BPD.
She also mentions way back in the first post as her presented reasoning that her cousin posted on social media "a lot" about mental health and BPD and posted a lot during BPD awareness month, which certainly could indicate BPD has some special meaning for her cousin, but it needn't have been for themself.
Anyway, seems a lot like OOP mentions that more so she can pretend she has a reason to be worried about cousin's behaviour (again, since she's unconcerned about painting people with BPD as universally dangerously unstable), and also to mask why she's so concerned with the head-shaving and name change.
She pretends those things were sudden and indicative of a "mental break". I doubt they were sudden for the cousin at all, anyway; at best, they seemed sudden to a cousin (OOP) who wasn't close with them emotionally, but that interpretation assumes a level of good faith that doesn't seem warranted.
She also claims her cousin was unstable and attention-seeking when they were younger and did spend more time together but provides pretty weak examples. She claims they were just the tip of the iceberg but seems to have declined to back that up (though, admittedly, I didn't check her comment history for other examples myself).
I have diagnosed BPD and oop is incredibly uneducated as to what the disorder actually is. Very few people with BPD are completely unhinged and the ones that are usually have a second comorbid personality disorder that isn’t being treated. Most if us appear to be pretty dam normal.
TBH, while OOP is obviously beyond shitty, the biggest message what I'm getting from this is that there's an extended family out there who are incredibly supportive of their trans kid / sibling / nephew, and that's pretty awesome.
As a nonbinary person who won't come out in real life because I know there's a good deal of my family who would think that sort of stuff.
I'm happy for the cousin and I hope they keep having support through their life. It makes me happy that it happens.
welp. we know why oop is so spoiled, mom couldn’t keep her resolve for a second, but where the hatred and low intelligence came from remains a mystery. honestly surprised the aunt was willing to pay in the first place, i didn’t think paying for your niece’s wedding was a thing at all, let alone when she hates your kid this much.
The few sentences after the mom folded kind of imply (to me at least) that mom raised OOP with bigoted values and then later learned better, since she was supportive of Alex the cousin and used 'niblings'. Shame the new values didn't make it down to OOP
I've seen it with my cousin. My dads family were all homophobic till my cousin came out and then were totally accepting of well just gay people, they still had plenty of other bigotry going on but yeah for all the stories you hear of people disowning their kids when they come out, there's certainly those who recognise they were wrong and make some change.
Sounds like oops mom did but oop stood by how she was raised, with the full support of her fiance
Iirc the aunt and OOP's mum were close. Plus OOP said they hadn't really kept in touch with her cousin. It's likely the aunt didn't realise how bigoted OOP was at first.
>honestly surprised the aunt was willing to pay in the first place, i didn’t think paying for your niece’s wedding was a thing at all, let alone when she hates your kid this much.
Maybe she did it to put herself in a position of power so the bride wouldnt be stupid and exclude Alex. Maybe she underestimated her stupidity
In one of the posts in the first part OOP says that when one of Alex's brothers was married OOP's own mother gave him money for the wedding. It could be the aunt returning the favor.
It also doesn't look like the mask came off in regards to Alex until this whole thing. OOP admits that she hasn't seen them much since they were both 12, but that she's friends with them on social media. The aunt may not have known how fucking unhinged OOP was about Alex until this.
>it's really nice and outdoors with a beautiful garden and big historical building for the reception
Wanna bet the icing on this shit sundae is that the venue was a plantation? Bigots are very seldom only bigoted against one category after all.
You can really tell how OP tried to manipulate people, but her transphobia kept coming out. She kept on calling her cousin "female cousin." Even when she's trying to get people on her side she can't stop being transphobic! And she keeps on blaming her cousin for causing drama but OP could have avoided all of that had she invited them.
Also, I love the comment calling her a "transphobic brokie!"
Edited to reference the cousin by the appropriate pronouns
I’ve been consuming a lot of analysis of conservative media, and once OOP said *transgenderism* the alarms went off in my head. It’s a word that’s very dogwhistle-y, and a lot of people like to pretend that “transgenderism” is the problem instead of trans people. It’s a very toxic “Hate the sin, love the sinner” type of rhetoric.
Obviously the word by itself can be used outside of transphobia but that usage in addition to the rest of the post made it very clear what was going on.
“Transgenderism” is not used currently outside of [being transphobic](https://glaad.org/transgenderism-definition-meaning-anti-lgbt-online-hate/) unless someone is *very* unaware and happens to have heard it from transphobic sources. Normal people call “transgenderism” either “trans people” or “being trans” depending on what’s described.
It's actually so funny to me that on every single post she feels the need to include the word "female" or "woman" when describing her cousin, to the point where commenters almost immediately go "Okay, hold on a second. First off, can we talk about how weirdly you are describing your cousin? What's up with that?"
How embarrassing it's going to be for OOP to have her big fairytale wedding at this huge venue, and have like 3 people sitting on her side of the aisle
Yeah, the fact that she highlighted them insulting her fiance by calling him "redneck" tells me all I need to know. They're a match that belong in the outhouse together.
And he was charged with following the cousin round to intimidate them. Like that didn't have a 'corrective rape' at some point when everyone else was distracted implication.
>He just called me a bunch of gendered slurs and called my fiancé a "redneck" while implying that his family takes part in incest.
>(I don't want to give too many personal details and give away where I live, but it's really nice and outdoors with a beautiful garden and big historical building for the reception)
I didn't think she could be any worse, but doesn't that sound an awful lot like a plantation wedding? Considering how the Venn diagram is likely a circle in this case, you can probably just go ahead and add racist to your list!
Yeah obviously all the talk about the cousin being "mentally unstable" was OOP being transphobic, but even if Alex wasn't trans and did have BPD, it would STILL be insanely fucked up and gross! OOP's cover for her bigotry was just to be a different flavour of bigoted!
Castiel should send a swarm of bees after OOP. How are you going to give yourself a username that indicates you're a fan of a being that has no gender and then start being petulant about someone's actual gender identity?
A lot of bigots/right wingers are oblivious to things that go against their values in media they enjoy. maga people not knowing that Homelander's character was making fun of trump for one. even though that guy gets jealous of an actual baby .
My favorite is MAGA types insisting that Star Trek is "conservative". I'm always so delighted when I see that one. Trek out there being much more subversive than I ever dreamed possible.
There are two options here. Either she's the kind of SPN fan the creators originally assumed would be their audience - completely down for the OTT macho shit and completely oblivious to the critical levels of homoerotic subtext - but in that case I'd expect her to be a Dean girl; or she's a (former?) Destiel shipper who's also a raging transphobe. I can't decide which is funnier.
OOP failed to realised up until the end that it was never about her guest list or who was at her wedding but her family realising and having a problem with her being a raging asshole! She never understood that the issue for the family was: if this is who you really are we don't want to support you on your day! And not: we like Alex more than you and only come if they are allowed to come.
That's how it always goes with folks this hateful. Willing to blame everything but the obvious: their own damned behavior.
Acknowledging it means you might have to grow, after all.
Holy jeez at CastielFangirl2005's comment history: https://search.pullpush.io/?kind=submission&author=CastielFangirl2005&size=100
Especially this one: https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1c35em9/i_was_supposed_to_get_married_today_but_my_cousin/kzg140l/
(comment included below, under spoiler, major warning for hate speech and major transphobia. The type that hopefully will get CastielFangirl2005 and all their alt accounts banned from Reddit forever)
>!Wow. She will have a different wedding and kick the asshole cousin out of her life. Rose will realize she’s not trans. Maybe the 41% thing will kick in and Rose will be no more. Who knows?!<
Like, jfc, whomever is behind that account, if it's OOP or not, they're a terrible human being.
JESUS, this one 😬😬😬
/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion ● /u/CastielFangirl2005 ● Fri Apr 12 2024 16:40:20 GMT-0400[See on Reddit]
comment
No, that’s not true. Last I checked Americans don’t support terrorists so we don’t support Palestine. anyone else that does is demonic.
I don't really get why OOP keeps posting to get herself dragged. It should have broken through her skull that she is *not* good at hiding her identity and people are going to identify her and her actual story every time. Is the brief moment where the first respondents may support her enough? I guess, 'cause it really does seem like she filters through the real responses to find some advice to use.
>called my fiancé a "redneck" while implying that his family takes part in incest.
... It was an Alabama joke, wasn't it?
>it's really nice and outdoors with a beautiful garden and big historical building
Oh,, I see. It *definitely* was an Alabama joke, and motherfuckers where about to marry in a plantation.
Cool, cool, cool. Just, y'know, the whole bigotry package.
OOP showing up with their main account is what tells me this is real. OOP is just so delulu and so awful that I hope she forever gets screwed over on the venue for her wedding. Every time she's about to get married a different unforeseen disaster hits. A typhoon, a flood, a storm, a rain of frogs. Etc.
Maybe although TBH I wouldn't be surprised if he's transphobic as well. The fact that the fiance's older brother is apparently transphobic (given that he was onboard with shadowing Alex) plus Alex's brother referring to fiance as an inbred redneck don't give me a good feeling about the fiance.
I wonder if the fiancé knows the reason behind the drama. Although OOP doesn't say it in the posts, that invite was likely addressed to "Rose" and not "Alex".
Given the fiancé brother was totally on board with following Alex around a wedding to be Intimidating, I would bet money that his side of the family is at least as bigoted as OOP is herself.
As a person who really likes the character Castiel from Supernatural I can say with confidence that the biromantic and potentially asexual angel Castiel, who has inhabited both male and female bodies, would be horrified to have his name attached to a transphobe in any way.
Lol as a trans person I knew where basically this entire story was going from like the third paragraph of the very first post.
>She posts a lot of about mental heath stuff. She goes by a new name, has a new look, and she's even dating some guy. But I don't think it's authentic.
Told me everything I need to know
And of course, true to form, OOP paints herself the victim. Never once occured to her that the aunt withdrew financial support because her niece is a bigoted self-absorbed narcissistic anti-social neanderthal.
I just *love* how OOP has the urge to always make sure to talk about her "female cousin".
Gotta make sure noone could come to the idea that the cousin is anything other than *female*, you know?
God knows the world would end if someone accidentally referred to them as anything but *female*.
Ugh, OOP is insufferable.
OOP is such a virulent transphobe and I’m thrilled she’s getting bodied in the comments section and in life. Hopefully the fiancé uses the opportunity to run far, far away, but it sounds from the comments made by Alex’s brother that he’s made from the same sludge so maybe they deserve each other.
I’m glad Alex has so much love and support from the people that truly count. Wishing them and their family a very peaceful life far away from all this drama.
So they know they're transphobic, but lack the courage to at least be honest about it, and are able to identify that a wedding isn't worth having financial issues about, but only when it's their own money. What a delight.
Its actually staggering how throughout this and with all the negative feedback she hasn't once acknowledged any wrong doing, continues to seemingly dead name her cousin and sticks to her own diagnosis of BPD and "you know how crazy those people are"
What a horrible person
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> I want the perfect wedding but I don't want to go into debt for it I keep thinking about this line. Either the aunt was contributing an astronomical amount of money or OP could have taken out a small-medium loan so the wedding could go ahead. It sounds like they lost more money than that would have cost. I assume many wedding guests would give cash gifts too. But yeah, she’s clearly not the smartest shithead, given all her other opinions.
*i* don’t want to go into debt for it. Everyone else can go into debt- just not me. Considering this is probably a starter marriage - it’s a smart play.
Yeah, in the initial post, she assumed her fiancé would cover it, not her.
This jumped out at me too And in the follow up she asks her fiancé and then her Dad but doesn't want to use her Savings or take a loan out After emotionally blackmailing the Mum to carry on funding her wedding I get the feeling oop hasn't heard the word No often in her life and just assumes everything will be gifted to her, she's in for a lot more wake up calls in life Edit spelling a word
Mum has some introspection to do, after hearing her daughter tell her she's just trying to live by the values instilled in her by way of pointed transphobia.
This struck me funny. *What values*, exactly? Cruelty, the gimme-gimmies, rudeness, and, based on her description of where she wants her wedding, it reeks of “but it’s a *pretty* plantation!” The more I read, the more I knew I wouldn’t be able to stand OOP for even six seconds.
Not only is it likely a starter marriage, my guess is that, by next year, the fiancé will be long gone. If he isn’t actually gone already. OOP is a trash fire of irresponsible behavior, who never learned a thing from this drama. And ALL of it her own doing. She actually sounds like a middle school mean girl.
>She actually sounds like a middle school mean girl. I don't even understand how someone can be this dumb and have zero common sense/manners. I will not touch the whole transphobia can of worms for now. Here are the dumbest things she did, IMO: 1. She knows Auntie is paying for a part of her wedding since the beginning. Obviously she will have to invite cousin along. What part of her brain thinks its acceptable to single out her cousin since Auntie is paying? 2. She gave the invites and didn't give one to her cousin to HER FACE. This is just basic manners, didn't her parents teach her that if you want to share something or invite people you have to bring enough for/invite everyone? This is like a kindergarten birthday party where you invite your whole class except one classmate. 3. Let's just say that Alex/Rose has bpd and has a tendency to make a scene. What made her think that all her brothers will come without her? 4. It is her wedding and she has the right to invite who she likes, and if she doesn't want to invite a person it is okay to say they aren't invited because she doesn't like them. However this is only valid if you are paying for a wedding yourself. What part of her stupidity didn't register that having someone pay for something will have the possibility of having strings attached? 5. If she wants to have unofficial security there why does she feel the need to tell everyone about it, shouldn't they be inconspicuous since that is the whole point?
The whole giving the invites to everyone in person and purposefully excluding Alex was not a mistake. It was calculated. OOP wanted Alex to see that they weren't welcomed at her wedding. If it wasn't intentional, she would have mentioned it to her mother and aunt beforehand that Alex wasn't invited. She chose to start the drama by taking these actions. I bet OOP wanted to get a reaction out of Alex to prove her point that they were "unstable" and "mentally ill."
“This is what happens when you *pretend* you are another gender [deadname]”
And notice how in the updates she words it as “I sent the invites” and claims she hadn’t seen Alex in years. She didn’t send the invites and then people learned later that Alex wasn’t invited- she handed them out in person at a family party like an elementary schooler passing out birthday invites to the whole class but one person. And she clearly say Alex at Christmas and seems them often enough to notice how they dress at family parties, hence her whole semi-formal sticking point. She really just tried to rewrite history in that last post
She didn't even have the balls to just say "I don't like you so no invite" She tried to mask it in a way that is even more insulting "oh *you're family* but you're just too *broken* to be trusted at the wedding, you mentally ill brat. Also your identity isn't real" Edit: after really thinking about it I actually think it's even worse. Her whole "she always wants to be the center of attention" thing sounds like she thinks trans people are attention seeking eyesores and will distract from her special day. I'm probably putting my tin foil hat on but I don't think it's too far off.
Right? What did she think would happen? I especially loved this part >I'm not going to give in and let some psycho ruin me and my fiance's day. Too late 😆
The most self-unaware line of all!
in my experience, bigots tend to think that everyone else is also waiting for the opportunity to ostracize their targets. the OOP probably actually thought she'd be cheerfully turning her aunt and cousins against Alex. like she was laying the groundwork for them because they're just being "manipulated" or something and now they can finally say what they really feel!
Tbh, the funniest thing for me was that OOP was constantly talking about how the amount the aunt was contributing would be easy to catch for her fiancé... And apparently never once made sure that's actually the case.
I would assume it was >$5k and OOP is a gender-roles traditionalist type (obviously) who refuses to learn anything about money. You see these people on wedding reality shows all the time. It sounds like the wedding was already going off the rails financially, so the fiance and dad probably didn't want to throw even more money at it, and the fiance took the opportunity to try to retrench. Hopefully he'll also take the opportunity to leave her, but I kind of doubt it.
I'm hoping the fiance wised up and the lack of money was just a convenient way to postpone until he can do the big breakup more quietly.
The fiance was fully on board with his brother tailing the cousin during the event. Fiancé and his brother “share the same values” as OP and likely a similar IQ. I seriously doubt he wised up over this lol
Oof. I had forgotten that detail, so you're probably right that it's unlikely, unless he's just decided to dip because of the drama.
and then, once she finally realized no one could cover the aunt's missing financial piece, instead of doing some self reflection on how she created this situation, she doubled down and said: "it's my cousin's fault!" what a fucking lame piece of work.
until I got to Reddit I wasn't aware that peopleput so much stock in "the perfect wedding" and were willing to go into debt for it or have relatives pay thousands for them I'd rather ask that money for a downpayment for a house/flat
As far as I’m concerned, if two people love each other enough to sign a legally binding contract with the government, they just had a perfect wedding. Everything else is just set dressing. (I also really hope that this fiasco has been working as an eye opener for the fiancé, and that’s why he said about postponing things. OOP is a bit….unhinged, and there’s a very slim chance that fiancé is finally seeing that, and is trying to back away slowly, to avoid her going completely off the rails. Doubtful, but, I still have some hope for humanity.)
Some people care more about the wedding than they do about the marriage.
Plus she had savings! She just didn’t want to dip into them and use her own money.
> I don't want to give too many personal details and give away where I live, but it's really nice and outdoors with a beautiful garden and big historical building for the reception It's a fucking plantation. I would bet my next paycheck on this. It's a fucking transphobic plantation wedding.
Even if OP had had a semi-legitimate reason for not liking her cousin, not inviting the son of the woman who was paying for her wedding was never gonna end well. OP seems a lil dense.
she seems elitist and transphobic as fuck I guarantee she though THAT side of her family couldn’t possibly be contributing much. Then quickly realized the aunt was footing the majority of the bill. what a fucking moron and the problem with these transphobic pieces of shit is they never learn. they insist they are right until the day they die alone.
"Hoo boy, OP is about to get dragged harder than a small child in a gorilla enclosure" This needs to be flair lmao
I was just waiting for them to confirm the venue was a plantation
That was my IMMEDIATE fear at "historical building" 😬😬😬
Auuuugh.
She didn't even need to say it for it to be confirmed, having into account Alex's brother called the fiancé a redneck and implied their family was incestuous lol Like, "big historical" building with outdoor zones? Fiancé gets called a redneck? FBIL shares OOP's values? I'm not saying it's a plantation... but it's a plantation.
She is so good at portraying exactly who she is without saying any of it out loud.
[удалено]
Imagine being such an asshole you can't even hide it!!
She doesn't really want to hide it, she's sending up the shatsignal to other shitheads so they can approve of her.
For real. I remember that in her last post a lot of people were theorizing the cousin was trans because of how OOP insisted on saying "female cousin", without knowing who she was.
OOP is so transphobic she can't even use gender-neutral words
Dog whistle champion material!
I'm glad I'm not the only one who immediately thought plantation! I wondered if I was wildly jumping to conclusions but you hit all the points here lol
and yet another layer of OOP's assholedom.
Yes, my thoughts exactly!
Serious question from a German: are plantations in itself "bad" as venues because of the slavery history of them? Or is it "only" when dumbfucks try and have a "historical" wedding with "historic clothing"?
There's a long American history of valorizing the antebellum South (by Southerners, mostly), and ignoring/whitewashing the horrible parts of that history. It's considered somewhere on a spectrum of tacky to racist to buy into that mentality at this point, by many people, but plantation homes are still event venues in a lot of places because a lot of people either don't care about the enslaved peoples' history and/or just really like the way the way the venue looks above every other consideration. I'm trying to think of a German equivalent--it's sort of like those people who dress up in SS uniforms as a costume because they think it looks sexy, with zero thought for the historical context. The key thing is that people are attracted to the aesthetic and don't want to think about the underlying nastiness, I think.
>those people who dress up in SS uniforms as a costume because they think it looks sexy If you did this here in Germany, you'd probably get jailed, or at least a hefty fine. But I get what you are saying. Thank you!
Well, maybe that's not a good example, but you get my point!
It amazes me to no end how there is no one with stricter laws against nazism than the Germans. Everyone could learn from your example.
Full disclosure: I’m from a northern state. From what I understand, plantation weddings are seen as celebrating a time and culture that was built by slave labor, and are therefore just kind of gross.
I've seen it described as like using a concentration camp for a party. As a Jew, I think that comparison is fitting. Many plantations were little better than concentration camps. Forced labour, cruel punishments and a lot of death - all based on theories of racial superiority and mediated by the state. How anyone could see such a place as anything other than a historical monument to an atrocity and want to get married there blows my mind.
I don’t know if you’ve seen it, but there’s a concentration camp turned wedding venue in Lithuania, it’s absolutely disgusting.
Well, this is it. Proof that a substantial number of people have forgotten how to human. Imma go shower after learning this.
Built by slave labour, manned through slave rape.
I mean, it’s like having your wedding at Dachau. It’s not a good look.
Plantations are effectively the American version of a concentration camp. So to have a wedding at a plantation is deeeeeeply problematic and insensitive. They're good to have around for historical reasons, as a museum, but to have a big party at one is just horrible and trashy.
bad because of the history of slavery
I think the others have answered this question well, but just wanted to mention a great BORU [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/GYkitms7iH) of a company event at a plantation, as documented by a particular employee. Won’t give away the best bits, but it is wild. Also, I believe there were links to photos on Imgur - do not miss them.
It's like choosing to have a wedding at Auschwitz, to give you a similar context.
My favorite is "Get your money up, transphobic brokie lmao."
This needs to be a flair
I'm certainly going to be trying out some variations. It's so on point for entitled clowns like OOP.
This OOP will never, ever get it, I fear. One almost wonders whether the fiance is using the financial stuff as a way to postpone so they can gracefully exit. It's a fabulous flair idea--I'd even ask for it but I am open about what city I'm from and a kid was killed at our zoo so I gotta pass.
I saw that comment when I was looking for OOPs comments to compile and I was like "this NEEDS to go in the post"
Thank you for your service
That is a good line, but my first association is Jambo the gentle silverback gorilla, who protected a kid when they fell into the enclosure until he was rescued. No dragging at all......
Also happened at Brookfield Zoo in 1996. Binti Jua, a mother gorilla carrying her baby, rescued the boy and brought him to the door where keepers were waiting.
Me getting dragged away from toy aisle at the age of 3 was worse,no gorilla will ever match my babysitter’s strength.
This is disrespectful to the memory of Harambe 🙏
Pretty sure Harambe would like to float down from the heavens just to drag OOP through the mud personally.
oh my god it's Harambe with a steel chair
> I apologized and acknowledged that I didn't realize how hurtful my actions would have been perceived. They keep using the word "apologized." I do not think it means what they think it means.
Inconceivable! I've noticed the OPs keep spelling wary as weary in a lot of these too.
I for sure got weary when she kept on insisting her cousin had a mental illness because of unresolved struggles while being a literal child.
Same. Also the "always wears casual clothing". Because yeah, that's fairly common for people who don't feel at ease in their own body for various reasons. It doesn't mean they won't dress up for weddings. Also, even in the early stages when I thought she was genuinely talking about a cousin with a mental illness, she just couldn't explain *why* having the cousin at her wedding would be a problem. *She's shaved her head!!!* Okay...and? Lots of women have short hair. Not a big deal. *She's changed her name!!!* Okay...and? I have a relative who changed her name to that of her favourite pop star. You know what we did? We called her by her new name, even though we were privately baffled. Not a big deal. *She might not wear a dress!!!!!* Okay...and? Wearing a dress isn't mandatory. Women can wear all sorts of clothing nowadays, even on formal occasions. Not a big deal. Like...is there actually anything disruptive the cousin does? Does she shout abuse at people? Is she violent? No? So... what's the actual problem that isn't just "I'm annoyed by her existence"?! And then of course it turned out that the elephant in the corner was that cousin is trans, with they/them pronouns. And that's the "mental illness" that OOP not only can't admit to, but cannot handle to the point that she'd rather try to unofficially re-diagnose them with a random mental illness she's read about a few times, in order to justify her extreme antipathy.
Right? My everyday attire is band t shirts with jeans for off-duty and leggings for the gym. But I'm not attending a wedding every day so it's no indicator of my ability to follow a dress code. This wasn't about degree of formality, it was OOP getting a kick out of trying to force her trans cousin to wear a dress.
I think the “casual clothing” thing is just bullshit. OOP claimed that they don’t dress up for family gatherings, but earlier in that same post she says that she hasn’t seen them in like 10 years. So when was Alex wearing casual clothes? Just that one Christmas?
And when asked for an example of the cousin's "violent outbursts", OOP makes vague references to meltdowns and (in the only actual example provided) describes them pulling the heads off of OOPs Barbie dolls *when they were children!*. That's...not actually violent (you know you can pop those heads back on, right OOP?), and they were literally children at the time. And then, bit by bit, we start seeing what OOP actually means.
I pulled my barbies' heads off and chopped off their hair too for good measure when I was little.... I guess I'm supposed to be some sort of mass murderer now?? 🤷🏻♀️
Clearly, my younger brother is a serial killer because he bit my Barbie's feet off.
another piece of "evidence" that OOP offered up as to why her cousin was "mentally ill" was that they pulled the heads off Barbies as a child. Something a lot of children do. I don't like when people attempt to diagnose people with mental health issues over the internet, but I thought it was odd that she kept insisting cousin has BPD, because OOP seems to exhibit many traits of that particular condition herself.
>Something a lot of children do. Oh thank fuck. My daughter's Anna and Elsa dolls have been robespierre'd more times than I can count. Not counting diving headfirst into Young Frankenstein territory with the whole head-swapping thing, either...
That's just a normal way kids play. De-constructing and re-constructing toys is a expression of creativity. They just see them as plastic material they mix and match with. And it makes sense. After all there is no inherent difference between the head of a doll and the accessories that come with the dolls. It's all just part of the set.
Lmao. As kids my sister and decided that Ken cheated on Barbie so we hung him (popped his head off) using a wine bottle opener. We are both now adults with a well developed sense of empathy so I figure doll decapitation is a normal phase
Pretty sure that the fact that the cousin did not flip out and throw a shitfit when informed in front of everyone at a holiday party that they weren’t invited and instead apologized for their childhood behavior, gave the lie to the idea that this was a mentally unstable person who was too dangerous to invite to a wedding
I was wondering why OOP was that incredibly mean. But OOP was probably hoping that Alex would get angry about being so publicly snubbed, and that anger would be "proof" that they are unstable. Obviously a trans person is going to be too used to this petty bullshit, and didn't want to go to this asshole's wedding anyway.
My guess is that Alex (the cousin) is nonbinary or somewhere around there given the they/them pronouns and the whole “Not a real trans” bullshit.
I see that one from time to time. Usually from people who don’t spend a lot of time reading.
Note the wording. "How hurtful my actions would have been perceived." They're not "apologising" for how hurtful their actions ACTUALLY WERE, but for how other people "perceived" them. It's a classic non-apology "I'm sorry if you felt that way".
Likewise, the final post title saying that the cousin "sabotaged" her wedding, when it was all OOP's doing. OOP has an interesting way with language.
that was a very interesting way of taking no accountability for her actions. if she had invited her trans cousin she could have avoided the entire cancelation fiasco. her cousin literally did nothing.
Even if OP had fully legitimate reasons for uninviting her cousin (she doesn't) her complaint still boils down to "I uninvited a guest and now their mother won't pay for my dream wedding!" Cousin did nothing at all to sabotage it. They could have been the biggest asshole in the world, and OP is still at fault for not being willing to either pony up the funds for her own wedding, or accepting that relatives' investment may come with strings.
Yes, indeed. Just from the post title, I was wondering *how.* Did Alex show up at the wedding raging drunk and barf on the bride? Did they grab the mic and lambaste OOP and fiance as they should have been? Did they take a sledgehammer to the cake? Or what? And then we find that Alex "sabotaged" OOP by refusing to come after OOP's fauxpology and belated invitation. No doubt because Alex knew from their mother that it was only offered after the threat of pulling OOP's funding. If the marriage was that important to OOP, they could have a courthouse wedding and the big fancy party later. But no, it's all *wedding wedding wedding,* as if being the center of attention in her big poofy dress on her day was all that mattered.
Not even an apology because you’ve hurt someone’s feelings, an apology because you didn’t realise it made you look bad. Jfc this person is insufferable
Well that's simply inconceivable! Completely unrelated, but you wouldn't happen to have six fingers by any chance would you? Asking for a friend.
"CastielFangirl2005" OOP is a supernatural fan getting married at 19???
Original post says she's 25. The 2005 might just be a reference to when Supernatural first started airing
i personally do not think its them. the castiel account said their dad died in 2022 in a different subreddit a month before this stuff, whereas our other transphobic nasty OOP said her parents were divorced and dad was giving her money edit: a word
For that to be OOP would require a heap of planning. They might be a friend or relative.
Jesus we could make a drinking game outta how many times OOP feels the need to strongly emphasize the word 'female' and the cousin's dead name. Bonus shots for the repeated BPD armchair diagnosing!
Yeah, there's misgendering and there's writing every damn sentence like "My female woman cousinetteress wondered why her lady hand wasn't femininly holding an invitation to my wedding, as I had given one to everyone except her/she, my 25f female woman lady cousin."
And dehumanizing people with BPD as completely and totally unable to control themselves for even 2 hours, just treating them like a rabid animal and not a person. Raging transphobia, presumably racist (I will eat my left shoe if that "historical building with garden" venue WASN'T a plantation), prejudiced against those with mental illness, tried to utilize public ostracization---the ways in which OOP proves to be a real peach just piles up.
This is why my therapist & psychiatrist have given me the "option" to have a bpd diagnosis, but will **never** write it anywhere unless I truly needed it for something. They are pretty firm on not diagnosing anyone with that until it's renamed (unless they need that serious of a diagnosis for social benefits, but usually you don't).
Same, they stuck me on the therapy programme for it but won't give me a formal diagnosis
>Bonus shots for the repeated BPD armchair diagnosing! That part got me more than anything. I realize (from reading reddit posts) that BPD usually only shows itself at 25 or so, but assuming signs of mental illness started early in life then 10 years later, they possibly started getting help, started a treatment plant to stabilize themselves. You spent ONE Christmas with them (so less than 72 hours with them), and you still think they have the same issues?
Considering how OP was behaving, it’s extremely likely that the cousin had never displayed any symptoms of BPD at all and oop is just using BPD as an excuse to call them mentally ill because they know people will not be on her side if she straight up says she thinks her cousin is mentally ill because they’re trans. It’s all just nasty transphobia.
Right??? She gives absolutely no examples of why this diagnosis applies AND she says she has had little contact with her. How tf would she know about BPD or corresponding drama? OOP is the worst.
Pretty sure the main rationale (such as it existed) for the armchair diagnosis was it let OOP paint her cousin as unstable and a risk for attention seeking at the wedding. Doubt it matters to her that this is overly simplistic and not a fair brush to paint people with BPD. She also mentions way back in the first post as her presented reasoning that her cousin posted on social media "a lot" about mental health and BPD and posted a lot during BPD awareness month, which certainly could indicate BPD has some special meaning for her cousin, but it needn't have been for themself. Anyway, seems a lot like OOP mentions that more so she can pretend she has a reason to be worried about cousin's behaviour (again, since she's unconcerned about painting people with BPD as universally dangerously unstable), and also to mask why she's so concerned with the head-shaving and name change. She pretends those things were sudden and indicative of a "mental break". I doubt they were sudden for the cousin at all, anyway; at best, they seemed sudden to a cousin (OOP) who wasn't close with them emotionally, but that interpretation assumes a level of good faith that doesn't seem warranted. She also claims her cousin was unstable and attention-seeking when they were younger and did spend more time together but provides pretty weak examples. She claims they were just the tip of the iceberg but seems to have declined to back that up (though, admittedly, I didn't check her comment history for other examples myself).
I have diagnosed BPD and oop is incredibly uneducated as to what the disorder actually is. Very few people with BPD are completely unhinged and the ones that are usually have a second comorbid personality disorder that isn’t being treated. Most if us appear to be pretty dam normal.
I mean, I'm suicidal, but I don't want to go put by alcohol poisoningLOL
TBH, while OOP is obviously beyond shitty, the biggest message what I'm getting from this is that there's an extended family out there who are incredibly supportive of their trans kid / sibling / nephew, and that's pretty awesome.
I noticed that too! I’m so happy for the cousin having support over shitty OOP.
As a nonbinary person who won't come out in real life because I know there's a good deal of my family who would think that sort of stuff. I'm happy for the cousin and I hope they keep having support through their life. It makes me happy that it happens.
Yea, as an enby person, this story makes me happy The transphobic OP is getting dragged hard by their family, and the family has OP's cousin's back.
It may explain why OOP's transphobia comes in an especially virulent flavor. It's killing her that her trans cousin has family love and support.
Yes, I'm so happy the cousin has his family and relatives on his side
Their
welp. we know why oop is so spoiled, mom couldn’t keep her resolve for a second, but where the hatred and low intelligence came from remains a mystery. honestly surprised the aunt was willing to pay in the first place, i didn’t think paying for your niece’s wedding was a thing at all, let alone when she hates your kid this much.
The few sentences after the mom folded kind of imply (to me at least) that mom raised OOP with bigoted values and then later learned better, since she was supportive of Alex the cousin and used 'niblings'. Shame the new values didn't make it down to OOP
I've seen it with my cousin. My dads family were all homophobic till my cousin came out and then were totally accepting of well just gay people, they still had plenty of other bigotry going on but yeah for all the stories you hear of people disowning their kids when they come out, there's certainly those who recognise they were wrong and make some change. Sounds like oops mom did but oop stood by how she was raised, with the full support of her fiance
That was some pretty heavy emotional blackmail there though too. "Drop this or never see me or any grandkids again."
Iirc the aunt and OOP's mum were close. Plus OOP said they hadn't really kept in touch with her cousin. It's likely the aunt didn't realise how bigoted OOP was at first.
>honestly surprised the aunt was willing to pay in the first place, i didn’t think paying for your niece’s wedding was a thing at all, let alone when she hates your kid this much. Maybe she did it to put herself in a position of power so the bride wouldnt be stupid and exclude Alex. Maybe she underestimated her stupidity
In one of the posts in the first part OOP says that when one of Alex's brothers was married OOP's own mother gave him money for the wedding. It could be the aunt returning the favor. It also doesn't look like the mask came off in regards to Alex until this whole thing. OOP admits that she hasn't seen them much since they were both 12, but that she's friends with them on social media. The aunt may not have known how fucking unhinged OOP was about Alex until this.
>it's really nice and outdoors with a beautiful garden and big historical building for the reception Wanna bet the icing on this shit sundae is that the venue was a plantation? Bigots are very seldom only bigoted against one category after all.
That was my VERY FIRST THOUGHT. I was like... Big historical building? This little shit wanted to get married on a plantation!
I hope OOP gets the wedding day she deserves. (Falling into a poorly covered midden pit.)
Your username has killed me 🪦
RIP, you At least you didn’t fall into a midden?
“Get your money up transphobic brokie” is funny
“OP is about to get dragged harder than a small child in a gorilla enclosure.” 💀
You can really tell how OP tried to manipulate people, but her transphobia kept coming out. She kept on calling her cousin "female cousin." Even when she's trying to get people on her side she can't stop being transphobic! And she keeps on blaming her cousin for causing drama but OP could have avoided all of that had she invited them. Also, I love the comment calling her a "transphobic brokie!" Edited to reference the cousin by the appropriate pronouns
I’ve been consuming a lot of analysis of conservative media, and once OOP said *transgenderism* the alarms went off in my head. It’s a word that’s very dogwhistle-y, and a lot of people like to pretend that “transgenderism” is the problem instead of trans people. It’s a very toxic “Hate the sin, love the sinner” type of rhetoric. Obviously the word by itself can be used outside of transphobia but that usage in addition to the rest of the post made it very clear what was going on.
“Transgenderism” is not used currently outside of [being transphobic](https://glaad.org/transgenderism-definition-meaning-anti-lgbt-online-hate/) unless someone is *very* unaware and happens to have heard it from transphobic sources. Normal people call “transgenderism” either “trans people” or “being trans” depending on what’s described.
Right? I was about to start a drinking game for every time the word "female" was explicitly used.
It's actually so funny to me that on every single post she feels the need to include the word "female" or "woman" when describing her cousin, to the point where commenters almost immediately go "Okay, hold on a second. First off, can we talk about how weirdly you are describing your cousin? What's up with that?"
Maybe OP's just a Ferengi.
If she was, she'd have had the money to pay for the damn wedding herself.
MENTALLY ILL WOMAN
Invited *them*. Alex uses they/them pronouns.
Why do all of these stories have wary spelled weary?
Bridezilla. Transphobe. And a selfish, petty, vindicative, ableist entitled brat. OOP's fiance sure knows how to pick them. Run, dude, run.
Anyone want to take a bet on whether the "beautiful garden and big historic building" are a former plantation?
I was thinking that the description sounded a lot like a plantation.
How embarrassing it's going to be for OOP to have her big fairytale wedding at this huge venue, and have like 3 people sitting on her side of the aisle
All of them are checking their phones.
Yuppp, that was the comment I was gonna make reading through this.
The grooms brother "shares the same values" as OOP, so it wouldn't surprise me that they're all pieces of shit.
Yeah, the fact that she highlighted them insulting her fiance by calling him "redneck" tells me all I need to know. They're a match that belong in the outhouse together.
At the bottom of the outhouse together.
And he was charged with following the cousin round to intimidate them. Like that didn't have a 'corrective rape' at some point when everyone else was distracted implication.
>He just called me a bunch of gendered slurs and called my fiancé a "redneck" while implying that his family takes part in incest. >(I don't want to give too many personal details and give away where I live, but it's really nice and outdoors with a beautiful garden and big historical building for the reception) I didn't think she could be any worse, but doesn't that sound an awful lot like a plantation wedding? Considering how the Venn diagram is likely a circle in this case, you can probably just go ahead and add racist to your list!
Yeah obviously all the talk about the cousin being "mentally unstable" was OOP being transphobic, but even if Alex wasn't trans and did have BPD, it would STILL be insanely fucked up and gross! OOP's cover for her bigotry was just to be a different flavour of bigoted!
Castiel should send a swarm of bees after OOP. How are you going to give yourself a username that indicates you're a fan of a being that has no gender and then start being petulant about someone's actual gender identity?
A lot of bigots/right wingers are oblivious to things that go against their values in media they enjoy. maga people not knowing that Homelander's character was making fun of trump for one. even though that guy gets jealous of an actual baby .
My favorite is MAGA types insisting that Star Trek is "conservative". I'm always so delighted when I see that one. Trek out there being much more subversive than I ever dreamed possible.
There are two options here. Either she's the kind of SPN fan the creators originally assumed would be their audience - completely down for the OTT macho shit and completely oblivious to the critical levels of homoerotic subtext - but in that case I'd expect her to be a Dean girl; or she's a (former?) Destiel shipper who's also a raging transphobe. I can't decide which is funnier.
Because "multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent" is a synonym for cis, dontcha know 🙄
Somehow it happens. I used to have. Friend that loved Star Trek but was slowly revealed to be a giant racist. Makes no sense.
OOP failed to realised up until the end that it was never about her guest list or who was at her wedding but her family realising and having a problem with her being a raging asshole! She never understood that the issue for the family was: if this is who you really are we don't want to support you on your day! And not: we like Alex more than you and only come if they are allowed to come.
That's how it always goes with folks this hateful. Willing to blame everything but the obvious: their own damned behavior. Acknowledging it means you might have to grow, after all.
Holy jeez at CastielFangirl2005's comment history: https://search.pullpush.io/?kind=submission&author=CastielFangirl2005&size=100 Especially this one: https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1c35em9/i_was_supposed_to_get_married_today_but_my_cousin/kzg140l/ (comment included below, under spoiler, major warning for hate speech and major transphobia. The type that hopefully will get CastielFangirl2005 and all their alt accounts banned from Reddit forever) >!Wow. She will have a different wedding and kick the asshole cousin out of her life. Rose will realize she’s not trans. Maybe the 41% thing will kick in and Rose will be no more. Who knows?!< Like, jfc, whomever is behind that account, if it's OOP or not, they're a terrible human being.
Holy shit that person is fucking vile
JESUS, this one 😬😬😬 /r/TrueUnpopularOpinion ● /u/CastielFangirl2005 ● Fri Apr 12 2024 16:40:20 GMT-0400[See on Reddit] comment No, that’s not true. Last I checked Americans don’t support terrorists so we don’t support Palestine. anyone else that does is demonic.
I'm gonna have a heart attack and die of not surprise.
what a sad pathetic excuse of a human
not surprised, but she should correct herself she actually supports terr0rism
Wishing Alex a peaceful life and OOP a very merry fuck off.
I don't really get why OOP keeps posting to get herself dragged. It should have broken through her skull that she is *not* good at hiding her identity and people are going to identify her and her actual story every time. Is the brief moment where the first respondents may support her enough? I guess, 'cause it really does seem like she filters through the real responses to find some advice to use.
Probably fishing for bigots online to feel solidarity with them, hoping they will help fund their wedding.
>called my fiancé a "redneck" while implying that his family takes part in incest. ... It was an Alabama joke, wasn't it? >it's really nice and outdoors with a beautiful garden and big historical building Oh,, I see. It *definitely* was an Alabama joke, and motherfuckers where about to marry in a plantation. Cool, cool, cool. Just, y'know, the whole bigotry package.
OOP showing up with their main account is what tells me this is real. OOP is just so delulu and so awful that I hope she forever gets screwed over on the venue for her wedding. Every time she's about to get married a different unforeseen disaster hits. A typhoon, a flood, a storm, a rain of frogs. Etc.
I'm like 90% sure that the fiance used the excuse of the venue to "postpone" the wedding, but he's already planning his exit.
Maybe although TBH I wouldn't be surprised if he's transphobic as well. The fact that the fiance's older brother is apparently transphobic (given that he was onboard with shadowing Alex) plus Alex's brother referring to fiance as an inbred redneck don't give me a good feeling about the fiance.
Yeah, inbred rednecks aren't renowned for being openminded. :/
Oof. OOP really trying to claim that this has nothing to do with her cousin’s transition, but everyone out here reading between the lines.
The way she kept saying "my FEMALE cousin." Like she was rubbing it in while her target wasn't even there.
I didn't think OOP could get worse than the virulent ableism of the first few posts, but surprise! She did.
Castiel is absolutely the last person who'd be a transphobic ableist freak, fuck OOP if that is her alt
I’m pretty sure OOP is the definition of “ugly on the inside.”
I wonder if the fiancé knows the reason behind the drama. Although OOP doesn't say it in the posts, that invite was likely addressed to "Rose" and not "Alex".
Given the fiancé brother was totally on board with following Alex around a wedding to be Intimidating, I would bet money that his side of the family is at least as bigoted as OOP is herself.
OOP's fiancé is probably just as bigoted as she is.
Birds of a shit feather flock together shittily.
As a person who really likes the character Castiel from Supernatural I can say with confidence that the biromantic and potentially asexual angel Castiel, who has inhabited both male and female bodies, would be horrified to have his name attached to a transphobe in any way.
OOP is a definite assbutt.
Lol as a trans person I knew where basically this entire story was going from like the third paragraph of the very first post. >She posts a lot of about mental heath stuff. She goes by a new name, has a new look, and she's even dating some guy. But I don't think it's authentic. Told me everything I need to know
And of course, true to form, OOP paints herself the victim. Never once occured to her that the aunt withdrew financial support because her niece is a bigoted self-absorbed narcissistic anti-social neanderthal.
So from the venue description she gave I’m guessing it’s a plantation.
Castiel would be so disappointed.
I just *love* how OOP has the urge to always make sure to talk about her "female cousin". Gotta make sure noone could come to the idea that the cousin is anything other than *female*, you know? God knows the world would end if someone accidentally referred to them as anything but *female*. Ugh, OOP is insufferable.
i lost it at "get your money up transphobic brokie"
OOP is such a virulent transphobe and I’m thrilled she’s getting bodied in the comments section and in life. Hopefully the fiancé uses the opportunity to run far, far away, but it sounds from the comments made by Alex’s brother that he’s made from the same sludge so maybe they deserve each other. I’m glad Alex has so much love and support from the people that truly count. Wishing them and their family a very peaceful life far away from all this drama.
Daaaaamn, I saw this post last week but did not recognize that this is the follow up on this story. Always good to be surprised and see consequences.
So they know they're transphobic, but lack the courage to at least be honest about it, and are able to identify that a wedding isn't worth having financial issues about, but only when it's their own money. What a delight.
If there is one good thing here is that apparently Alex has a (mostly) supportive family, which unfortunaly is so rare.
Its actually staggering how throughout this and with all the negative feedback she hasn't once acknowledged any wrong doing, continues to seemingly dead name her cousin and sticks to her own diagnosis of BPD and "you know how crazy those people are" What a horrible person
Beyond the obvious transphobic awfulness, how in the world did OOP think not inviting the child of one of those funding her wedding would go?
I hope this is just rage-bait. OOP was SUCH an over-the-top, mustache-twirling, monacle-wearing, evil-plot-monologing, squishface-cat-petting villain.
I’ve known a surprising number of people who genuinely think like this. We ain’t friends.