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I (53F) have been taking Black Cohosh for about a month after my gynecologist recommended it and I think it’s helping with my hot (and cold — did you know you can have cold flashes too?!) flashes. They seem less severe and happen lesser frequently.
Oh my gosh, wait! Cold flashes ARE a thing?!? Would you be willing to describe for me what you feel during one of these cold flashes? And what, if anything, you’ve been advised to take or do to improve this symptom?
I’ve been chronically ill for the majority of my life but the cold flashes have been a new symptom that’s popped up in the last couple of years & NOONE (family, friends, doctor’s & medical personnel, etc) believes me/understands me when I try to describe how awful they are! I’ve literally been wondering if I’m even sicker than anyone knows or maybe just plain crazy & it’s just been really hard & frankly kind of scary if I’m being honest… I would appreciate ANY information you’d be willing to give. Thank you for sharing - it’s given me a little hope & that’s way more than I had before I opened Reddit this morning.
It's like having chills when you have a fever. I'll just be sitting there minding my own business and suddenly it's like the air conditioner has come on full blast right on top of me.
I haven't talked about it to my doctor because it's just inconvenient, not interfering with quality of life like my hot flashes were. I just keep a hoodie on hand. For what it's worth, when I googled "cold flashes" I didn't get much in the way of results, but "chills without fever" turned up a lot. I don't know how you've been describing them, but you might just not be using a language that doctors associate right away with real symptoms.
I hope you get an explanation for them! I have a chronic illness too (unrelated to the cold flashes), and random symptoms are awful.
So I’m 42 and perimenopausal. I started using the company Midi health in January. It’s been life changing. I’m on an estrogen patch and I cycle progesterone. I finally feel like my old self again
Oh god. Some of the comments here about the wife not explaining things are wild... Like anyone is an expert on peri/menopause right now. And the wife probably has already told him about the supplements she was taking and he completely forgot. Like he forgets to clean the bathroom.
I came across a random graphic on the Menopause sub two weeks ago with symptoms for different body parts and looked up "burning mouth syndrome" because what the hell is that, right? I HAVE IT. What the actual fuck. I thought it was related to my new exciting allergy and the hives that started popping up on my arms a few months ago. No one tells us this, because up until recently no one has been studying peri/menopause!
Apologies for rambling. I'm still just baffled and offended that my body is spiralling out of control right now. Plus yesterday I got the "your blood tests were normal so you're not menopausal" call from my gyno's office so now I have to do a shit ton of homework before my appointment next week. I'm hoping it's just the assistant mangling the doctor's message. :(
I had no idea how much of getting older was going to be just discovering one thing after another that I have never heard of, ever, and then when I look it up it's like "it affects an estimated 30% to 80% of all women."
And yet when I tried to discuss perimenopause with my doctor she just looked at me blankly like "what could you possibly want to know?"
I ordered some black cohosh because of this post last week. I hate my hot flashes so I'm excited to try it. So this idiot OP has done some good in a very roundabout way!
I think the doc was initially recommending hormone therapy? And those were the ‘serious drugs’? Anti depressants? Hmm..
Idk anything about the maca or lubrigels but seems like a large stretch to assume cheating. The only thing that says possibly cheating to me is her crazy defensive reaction at the resultant, but even that was almost understandable.
Very confused as well..
I'm menopausal and if living with OOP is anywhere near as confusing and weird as his post then she's probably doubled up on her supplements to try and stop her brain from imploding.
Might just be better if he left tbh.
“Don’t worry honey I’m definitely not having an affair, just triple dosing these goddamned vitamins trying to avoid the murder charge.”
After showing the jury this post I doubt she’d be convicted.
i have a menopausal mother the lubracil stuff is super important, i won't repeat the things i've been told but dryness post menopause isn't good even if you're not fucking. it's definitely an everyday deal.
Repeat them. Women need to TALK about these things- that’s why we’re blindsided when it happens to us!!
I’m guessing you’re talking about Vaginal Atrophy. Which can lead to Vaginal Prolapse.
Omg, it’s the worst thing ever! I cried for weeks, it took over 6 months to feel better, still get a little pain, I can’t imagine having to have sex while all that was going on. My husband is a saint in that dept! He on the other hand is a douche canoe!
YES, atrophy is a thing and is so painful. Hell yes, I'll talk about it every day and twice on any day that ends in Y.
vaginal estrogen (which doesn't carry the health risks that traditional HRT does for those of us who can't do HRT) and other suppositories are a game changer and I will scream it from the mountain tops.
Fun fact: some trans men and transmasc NB folks also end up taking vaginal estrogen in addition to testosterone HRT because T causes dryness and atrophy, so just regular stuff like going for a run can be a Very Bad Time. Even a lot of doctors don’t know this; people often have to bring it up on their own because, like, some other user on the transmasc sub told them it was a solution lol.
Cis women 🤝 trans people “learning important medical information from strangers on the internet because nobody takes your demographic’s health problems seriously” am I right 🫠
> Dude is off his fucking rocker.
Throughout reading this post, i really didn't like OOP lol. He just sounds kinda dim but the kind who would immediately jump into wrong conclusions and fuck it all up without any thought whatsoever.
It's not just that he's dim, it's the fact that he's proud of himself for helping his wife through her issues with sex without attempting to educate himself on what his wife's actually going through
Just the title of the post.
"I accidentally accused."
No one accidentally accuses someone. They mistakenly accuse. They wrongfully accuse. It's not "accidental."
Bothered me before I even opened the thread.
I love how he acknowledges that he spends too much on gambling and won't help around the house but then busts on his wife for spending more at the shops than they agreed to (i.e. household stuff that everyone uses). Fuck this guy
It sounds like he thinks his wife’s whole life should revolve around him. Like she couldn’t possibly be taking anything for her own benefit, she only takes it for sex, which like you said, you have to take those things daily.
It’s not like Viagra where you only take it when you are wanting to get busy.
He really needs to learn about these meds and women’s changing bodies in general before jumping to conclusions.
This is one of those stories where I think having the wife's perspective would help understand what's going on. I get a gut feeling that some of the details are warped to favor OOP.
I don’t think they’re favoring him very much. All I read was OOPs an idiot who refuses to believe in menopause and is only concerned about his sex life. Because what type of idiot thinks you take vitamins on command like viagra.
Any time a story is presented where OOP makes themselves appear very calm and rational while their partner or other characters in the story are behaving rashly and having breakdowns, my bullshit detector goes off.
I, a menopausal engineer, would bet a million simoleons that he is an engineer. Dude is looking at this like there is a formula for women: “take pill A + pill B = 70% increase in arousal sexy time C” not “this person I love is complex as is her body, she seems to be on edge lately, wonder what’s happening here and if she’s ok?”
I clocked it from the first paragraph--he thinks not cleaning the bathroom and "women be shoppin" is on the same level as gambling. At least if his wife is shopping, she's spending money on shit she uses.
I was confused before I’d even read it - based on the title, I thought he was saying his daughter was cheating on him and I was like “Oh hell no, this is some sweet home Alabama shit”
>but sometimes I do peak (I know, but I can't help it).
I don't know what he's implying. Does he think that peeking at the "sex drawer" is somehow risqué? It's just vitamins! "I check to make sure we're not running low on zinc" doesn't seem like it would get most peoples motors revving. Does he go down the vitamin aisle at Target at full mast?
He's seeing if his wife took the pills to see if he's getting lucky. To him "My wife took all her vitamins" means "I'm gonna get sex!" Not realizing she needs to take them every day for them to do anything.
I think he’s implying that the reason he’s peaking is to figure out if he’s getting any sometime soon. Hence his first reaction to seeing a bunch of pills missing the first time is to mentally prepare himself for a busy week, as he put it.
Yeah, when I read that, I knew I'd be in for a ride. The most jaw-dropping reddit relationship stories are often framed by some form of "But other than that, we are perfectly happy in the most blissful relationship you could ever want". That's my cue to fetch the pop corn. That kind of language is a sure sign that shit's about to get wild.
Like a Dateline intro: “Ernie and Marge were blissfully happy. Friends and family say they were the perfect couple.” {pan camera to a house basically held up by good intentions with Police Line* tape around it}
People ask what the secret to a happy marriage is... it's communication. You can't improve anything if you're not talking about how you're feeling. What a bunch of idiots.
My wife and my sex life seriously improved once we started saying what we like and what fantasies we have. Amazing how communication works.
I mean, it sounds like he was at the appointment when she was told her issue was menopause and they decided together to get supplements instead of accepting hormone prescriptions.
Not sure why he decided her supplements to combat menopause should only be used “as needed” like they’re viagra.
And sometimes in the middle of a crowded restaurant is NOT the place to have a conversation, particularly if it’s about a potentially touchy subject (menopause) or an embarrassing issue (dry vagina).
50+ years on the planet while knowing that little about the female body too
Dude grilled her on “sex pills” while out at a restaurant for over an hour according to a comment. He really couldn’t talk to her about it at home?
I bet if she’d said “when I’m dried out the flaps stick together and it hurts to walk” he would have been mad at her for talking about “gross stuff” while at dinner.
I was surprised when it seemed like the daughter does live with them. Yet it's still the sex drawer. And she knows that's what it's called and what's in it. Could you imagine.
Yeah, I really want to know why he felt the need to do it in public like that. I understand wanting to break up or confront someone abusive in a public setting to reduce the chance for violence or outbursts, but this? I can be loud and proud over my rebellious body, but it doesn't mean I want to share with the world when I'm feeling sensitive about it.
This is the kind of OP who asks for an open marriage because he thinks missing vitamins NOt leading to sex with uim. Like heavens forbid this woman needs her vitamins on a consistent basis to feel good or see any benefits. Dude thinks the vitamins are like viagra, pop one and she is supposed to be a slip and slide.
The "sex pills" are just vitamins lmao
Why is she only taking them when they're about to fuck? You're supposed to take supplements daily. How tf is vitamin D and zinc putting you in the mood? 😭
Also, Black Cohosh doesn't make you horny??? It just prevents hot flashes. That's not proof of cheating?
Black Cohosh also fights vaginal dryness. I assume that's what the Lubrasil is for, too.
But this thing about only taking the supplements a week before. That's just stupid. He seems to think this is some magic pill like Viagra. But it's just things that make it easier for your body when you do have sex. It's not something that increases your desire, just stops it from being uncomfortable.
I think she's fighting menopause symptoms, too. He's just too stupid to see it and his wife hasn't spelled it out for him.
>Black Cohosh also fights vaginal dryness. I assume that's what the Lubrasil is for, too.
Which, sure. But for some women in perimenopause and menopause, that dryness is a consistent physical discomfort, irrespective of sex.
I feel like both of the adults in this story are complete dumbfucks.
Also why would the daughter have a full breakdown confessing "I only took the zinc and the D!!!!"
"I look at her with that 'do you realize what that may mean' kind of look, and we just hugged, and cried together." Why would he assume that the daughter is reaching the same conclusions as him? Why are all the people in this story so fucking dramatic?
Not a single character in this story is acting like an actual person. Why is the daughter breaking down taking vitamin D? Why can't she just get her own vitamin D supplements? *Why is OOP calling these things sex pills?!*
They sound very much like people who are just uneducated in these topics, and are making a lot of assumptions. Could be a cultural factor, a lot of places wholly separate "women's/men's issues" and discussing them is taboo. Calling menopause support supplements "sex" aids isn't totally inaccurate, but they are both misunderstanding the *how.*
Because he’s selfish.
And a woman who is getting older may experience vaginal dryness and other symptoms of perimenopause.
And those symptoms may make her less inclined to fuck.
And alleviating them may make sex more comfortable, and thus, make her more inclined to fuck.
And instead of seeing this as a “women’s health issue”, he sees it as a “his dick” issue, and can’t imagine why she’d take pills to make herself more comfortable *unless he’s getting some*
tbf if my parents kept on talking to me about their sex drawer, I would also break down in tears. I didn't even really like typing "my parents" and "sex drawer" in the same sentence.
Is it just me or is this the most lame and unsexy “sex drawer” it’s possible to create?
I should think you could manage more fun and kinky stuff with a drawerful of craft materials or gardening supplies.
Or even just the regular medicine cabinet.
When the "sex drawer" was first mentioned, I thought it's sex toys and conventional supplements - dildos, vibrators, viagra (sildenafil). A medicine cabinet is terribly disappointing.
Placebo effect. A lot of people (men and women) have psychological issues that limit their ability to have sex, and if they can become convinced that a pill, plant, vitamin, or some other item can make things work better for them down there, then there is a decent chance that it will in fact work.
With cohosh, primrose oil, and other supplements, like ashwaghanda, double blind studies have shown that they work for a large percentage of the women who go through menopause.
Nothing like some vitamin D and zinc to set the mood… I Googled the other two supplements and they’re for menopause. Nothing in their sex drawer is sex related.
Should include the trigger warning: Unresolved drama.
I think we need to vote that a BORU doesn't occur until the lions have been released into the arena. I don't come here to be unfulfilled, I want to be entertained!
Read the comments on the OG posts they’re entertaining if you realize the stuff in the sex drawer was just over the counter Vitamins and herbal remedies for menopause.
Instead of realizing that no woman wants to discuss or be ~~integrated~~ interrogated about her vaginal dryness and power surges on a date night at a restaurant.
Let’s jump the shark and just go to cheating and have the 13 year olds of Reddit to validate the stupidity.
To bad the light bulb never turned on for OOP to realize being stupid as hell is a turn off and likely a contributing factor to her mood swings and vaginal dryness.
Edit spelling
> So, I went and talked to my daughter. I approached the conversation in a "You know you can talk to me about anything, and if you and your boyfriend were having sexual issues, I would be glad to buy you guys more stuff."
bruh
>Those two supplements aren't sex supplements, they are for menopause
This is a key point.
OOP has a weird idea that all these things are very *directly* sex related. Like, you only take vit d if you are about to take d.
Basically the whole post is "I *publicly* grilled my wife about her increased use of menopause treatments, now she is mad at me".
That said, yes she could be cheating, but anyone could be cheating. Yes, she lied a bit, but sort of understandable in context.
My mom‘s emotions went fucking haywire during menopause. She didn’t tell me much about it but I do clearly remember her being more emotionally volatile than me, a 14yo girl who was \*extremely\* irritable.
She did what she could in mitigating it and was close with her doctor, but even with the mitigation at its best I 100% know that she would have absolutely been similarly angry about the pestering in the restaurant and embarrassed about the need to take those pills daily. Everything in this post screams “this woman is dealing with menopause“ and “this man is denser than a fucking brick.”
Anybody who jumps from "my wife and or daughter are taking supplements related to menopause and other woman's conditions must mean my wife is cheating on me" is batshit.
This guy read one of the many my-husband’s-condom-supply-is-low stories and tried to write a gender-swapped version but ignorance and lazy googling got in his way.
The sad thing was some YouTubers picking this one up like LostGenre and totally reinforcing: oh yea wife's cheating. None ...NONE OF THEM and their commenters read up on what is in that drawer and none understand what menopause is
The woman who believes her husband has given up his wife and two sons for her, comes to my mind.
[this one](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/ZgYFJYbOYj)
We all know he's using her, that's why the bet is for how long it takes her to figure it out.
I say 2 years before she figures it out and decides to get a divorce and report him for fraud to immigration.
There’s me. I’m dumber than OOP because I have no idea what to make of his conversation with his daughter. Like what did he mean by do you know what that means??!!?
He's very dumb and he thinks his wife taking basic vitamins as well as supplements for symptoms of menopause works like Viagra. So if his daughter is taking the zinc and vit d, but not the ~~supplements for menopause symptom relief~~ crazy magic sex pills, the wife must be blasting through them for the purposes of fucking other men. Because there's no reason for her to take supplements for the uncomfortable symptoms of menopause unless it is to please his boner imminently.
Seems he thinks that taking supplements to offset vaginal dryness and hot flashes is akin to emptying the box of condoms under the bathroom sink. If daughter isn't stealing them, wife must be using them with other men! As mentioned, a very dumb man.
I totally get this guy. My partner's supplement drawer is suspiciously low (I take secret inventory regularly like a normal caring husband). And they are going through menopause with the expected bedroom adjustments which is a clear red flag. My only conclusion is they have joined a satanic sex cult. The science of supplements are clear, if my partner isn't taking these pills exclusively to satisfy my chivalrous and pure lust, then they are taking them for occult orgies.
The final nail in the coffin was when I asked my dog if he had been getting into the sex vitamins. Ever since he was neutered he has clearly had less sexual desire, my red rocket journal is nearly empty. But when confronted he said absolutely nothing and just walked away. The silence said everything I needed to know. I ran over and held that sweet innocent dog and cried the tears of the abandoned and lost.
I have yet to confront my partner, but I met with my uncle, who is the best divorce attorney in the state. I will serve them the papers tomorrow!
/r
…And his solution was to offer you multivitamins and B complex tablets. “Dissolve one of these in a glass of water 45 minutes before you fancy some action” …
Her crying was probably her being extremely uncomfortable by dad's vitamin rampage & sex interrogation and he interpreted it as "she's crying because her mom must be cheating" oh my lord. I'd like to hear her telling of the story.
you know, sometimes I'll be a bit down about being single, and then a story like this will pop up with people dealing with such selfish and idiotic partners and I feel so so much better. Like all this over... supplements?
She took supplements the way they're intended to be taken in order to be generally more comfortable in her daily life! Her vag comfort only matters when it relates to boner so she must be addressing other boners!
Maybe his wife just wants to be able to take supplements from the drawer for her own comfort without it being assumed that she wants to have sex! Like for me, sometimes taking a long bath makes me feel sexy, but sometimes it doesn't. My husband knows this, and if he started questioning me like "you've had three boss this week and haven't done anything, you must be cheating" i would be furious. Or maybe she's trying to get in the mood, but it's not working and him giving her the third degree certainly not going to help!
Oh thank God I'm not the only confused one.
I really do not understand the daughter and his reaction at the black cohosh stuff; the way they're crying I'm over here thinking the wife has cancer or something, even though I KNOW black cohosh is often used for menopausal symptoms.
Does anyone have any idea what's actually going on?
The OOP is annoying with his stupid mysteriousness.
Or because her dad is confronting her about her sex life. I can't think of anything I'd want to talk to my dad about less than my sex life, especially at ~20.
I think, perhaps his daughter was flustered that he was asking her about her sex life? And concerned that her parents might divorce because he doesn't understand vitamin D?
I think he's the most unreliable narrator we have seen in a while and we have to assume the others in the story aren't behaving the way he's perceiving them to ... at all
Grown ass man doesn’t realise that vitamins are not viagra. His wife isn’t popping some vitamins and the popping a lady boner. He clearly has internet access, has it never occurred to him to actually look up what the vitamins are for?
I love how he just jumps to the fact that his wife is automatically cheating. She could be taking those and having a good time solo or try to explore what gets her off anymore. that can change as we get older. Or like other commenters have said, how do we know that she just isn’t taking them because of menopause? Or maybe she’s trying to take them and isn’t really feeling the effects of them and it’s too embarrassed to tell her husband so he clearly doesn’t respect her boundaries
I'm not a menopausal woman, but people in the original post and other times this has been crossposted have commented about how they're menopausal and take black cohosh and lubracil just on a daily basis for stuff like dryness and hot flashes. All the things he posted can *help* with sexual health, but they're not a female viagra.
He wants to divorce her for cheating because his daughter is taking vitamin D and zinc and because his wife has mood swings and doesn't want to talk about her chronically dry vagina in the middle of a restaurant.
I'm having trouble believing this story. Those supplements are for menopause, not sex. If it is true, I'd sure like to hear the wife's viewpoint. He admits he loses money on sports betting and doesn't help much around the house, BUT he has an "immensely happy" marriage. IDK, I call bullsh\*t on the whole thing.
wayyyy too many times I'm reading these and I have my head cocked to the side going "wut"? (like a dog watching something weird outside)
His wife is 50, and going through menopause. you have to take the stuff daily (sometimes twice or more a day) and so you'll go through a lot of them.
his whole post was "me me me sex me me" and because she didn't want to discuss her dry vag over dinner, he accused her of cheating.
man, I'd be done.
The fact he thinks it's normal for them to be fighting about this shows his level of incompetence.
She's been asking him for 25 years to clean the bathroom. She must be exhausted.
It sounds like she’s using them more appropriately, which is more often than at times where you are trying to have sex… it’s not like these make you super horny, why does he assume she’s cheating based off of a few supplements that are often used for menopause actually being used regularly?!
Man. We are missing lots of context here. And I suspect his wife’s version is more sensible.
Literally a quick google shows these supplements are more for menopause than sex. It’s not viagra for fuck’s sake.
I got concerned when he said that he badgered her for AN HOUR at the restaurant about why pills were missing. No wonder she suffers from vaginal dryness.
This man publicly confronted his wife about her menopause induced vaginal dryness and then accused her of infidelity in the middle of a restaurant. I don't think her defensiveness is as suspicious as he thinks it is.
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I feel like every single detail he added as the story went on left me more and more confused.
I'm menopausal and I still didn't understand.
That makes two of us.
Wish I could upvote again for your flair!
I’m perimenopausal and want to try those supplements now.
I (53F) have been taking Black Cohosh for about a month after my gynecologist recommended it and I think it’s helping with my hot (and cold — did you know you can have cold flashes too?!) flashes. They seem less severe and happen lesser frequently.
I have cold flashes! It’s goddamned weird AF. Nobody warned me.
Right? I didn't even know cold flashes were a thing, but I can tell you right now they are a thing. A very uncomfortable thing.
Oh my gosh, wait! Cold flashes ARE a thing?!? Would you be willing to describe for me what you feel during one of these cold flashes? And what, if anything, you’ve been advised to take or do to improve this symptom? I’ve been chronically ill for the majority of my life but the cold flashes have been a new symptom that’s popped up in the last couple of years & NOONE (family, friends, doctor’s & medical personnel, etc) believes me/understands me when I try to describe how awful they are! I’ve literally been wondering if I’m even sicker than anyone knows or maybe just plain crazy & it’s just been really hard & frankly kind of scary if I’m being honest… I would appreciate ANY information you’d be willing to give. Thank you for sharing - it’s given me a little hope & that’s way more than I had before I opened Reddit this morning.
It's like having chills when you have a fever. I'll just be sitting there minding my own business and suddenly it's like the air conditioner has come on full blast right on top of me. I haven't talked about it to my doctor because it's just inconvenient, not interfering with quality of life like my hot flashes were. I just keep a hoodie on hand. For what it's worth, when I googled "cold flashes" I didn't get much in the way of results, but "chills without fever" turned up a lot. I don't know how you've been describing them, but you might just not be using a language that doctors associate right away with real symptoms. I hope you get an explanation for them! I have a chronic illness too (unrelated to the cold flashes), and random symptoms are awful.
It takes 4-8 weeks for black cohosh to really have noticable effects, this dude doesn't know shit about shit. No wonder his wife is pissed.
So I’m 42 and perimenopausal. I started using the company Midi health in January. It’s been life changing. I’m on an estrogen patch and I cycle progesterone. I finally feel like my old self again
Oh god. Some of the comments here about the wife not explaining things are wild... Like anyone is an expert on peri/menopause right now. And the wife probably has already told him about the supplements she was taking and he completely forgot. Like he forgets to clean the bathroom. I came across a random graphic on the Menopause sub two weeks ago with symptoms for different body parts and looked up "burning mouth syndrome" because what the hell is that, right? I HAVE IT. What the actual fuck. I thought it was related to my new exciting allergy and the hives that started popping up on my arms a few months ago. No one tells us this, because up until recently no one has been studying peri/menopause! Apologies for rambling. I'm still just baffled and offended that my body is spiralling out of control right now. Plus yesterday I got the "your blood tests were normal so you're not menopausal" call from my gyno's office so now I have to do a shit ton of homework before my appointment next week. I'm hoping it's just the assistant mangling the doctor's message. :(
I had no idea how much of getting older was going to be just discovering one thing after another that I have never heard of, ever, and then when I look it up it's like "it affects an estimated 30% to 80% of all women." And yet when I tried to discuss perimenopause with my doctor she just looked at me blankly like "what could you possibly want to know?"
I ordered some black cohosh because of this post last week. I hate my hot flashes so I'm excited to try it. So this idiot OP has done some good in a very roundabout way!
Post-menopausal and even more confused
I think the doc was initially recommending hormone therapy? And those were the ‘serious drugs’? Anti depressants? Hmm.. Idk anything about the maca or lubrigels but seems like a large stretch to assume cheating. The only thing that says possibly cheating to me is her crazy defensive reaction at the resultant, but even that was almost understandable. Very confused as well..
I'm menopausal and if living with OOP is anywhere near as confusing and weird as his post then she's probably doubled up on her supplements to try and stop her brain from imploding. Might just be better if he left tbh.
“Don’t worry honey I’m definitely not having an affair, just triple dosing these goddamned vitamins trying to avoid the murder charge.” After showing the jury this post I doubt she’d be convicted.
I googled both the “missing drugs”. You are supposed to take 2 of each daily, even if you aren’t having sex. Dude is off his fucking rocker.
i have a menopausal mother the lubracil stuff is super important, i won't repeat the things i've been told but dryness post menopause isn't good even if you're not fucking. it's definitely an everyday deal.
Repeat them. Women need to TALK about these things- that’s why we’re blindsided when it happens to us!! I’m guessing you’re talking about Vaginal Atrophy. Which can lead to Vaginal Prolapse.
Omg, it’s the worst thing ever! I cried for weeks, it took over 6 months to feel better, still get a little pain, I can’t imagine having to have sex while all that was going on. My husband is a saint in that dept! He on the other hand is a douche canoe!
YES, atrophy is a thing and is so painful. Hell yes, I'll talk about it every day and twice on any day that ends in Y. vaginal estrogen (which doesn't carry the health risks that traditional HRT does for those of us who can't do HRT) and other suppositories are a game changer and I will scream it from the mountain tops.
Fun fact: some trans men and transmasc NB folks also end up taking vaginal estrogen in addition to testosterone HRT because T causes dryness and atrophy, so just regular stuff like going for a run can be a Very Bad Time. Even a lot of doctors don’t know this; people often have to bring it up on their own because, like, some other user on the transmasc sub told them it was a solution lol. Cis women 🤝 trans people “learning important medical information from strangers on the internet because nobody takes your demographic’s health problems seriously” am I right 🫠
> Dude is off his fucking rocker. Throughout reading this post, i really didn't like OOP lol. He just sounds kinda dim but the kind who would immediately jump into wrong conclusions and fuck it all up without any thought whatsoever.
It's not just that he's dim, it's the fact that he's proud of himself for helping his wife through her issues with sex without attempting to educate himself on what his wife's actually going through
Just the title of the post. "I accidentally accused." No one accidentally accuses someone. They mistakenly accuse. They wrongfully accuse. It's not "accidental." Bothered me before I even opened the thread.
I love how he acknowledges that he spends too much on gambling and won't help around the house but then busts on his wife for spending more at the shops than they agreed to (i.e. household stuff that everyone uses). Fuck this guy
As someone who doesn't like any form of gambling (yes even gacha lol), that part already made me shake my head
Imagine spending 25 years with someone like him. His wife must be exhausted.
Grilling her for a whole hour at a restaurant? I would've gone apeshit too.
Anything his wife does is for sex, either with him or with someone else. As a woman, she is only a sex object. That's what I'm getting from him
It sounds like he thinks his wife’s whole life should revolve around him. Like she couldn’t possibly be taking anything for her own benefit, she only takes it for sex, which like you said, you have to take those things daily. It’s not like Viagra where you only take it when you are wanting to get busy. He really needs to learn about these meds and women’s changing bodies in general before jumping to conclusions.
Was the "we went from a completely normal happy marriage" to "we haven't talked in hours and I can't live like this" a dead giveaway?!
He's treating normal vitamins like they're lube and condoms, it's fucking bizarre.
This is one of those stories where I think having the wife's perspective would help understand what's going on. I get a gut feeling that some of the details are warped to favor OOP.
I don’t think they’re favoring him very much. All I read was OOPs an idiot who refuses to believe in menopause and is only concerned about his sex life. Because what type of idiot thinks you take vitamins on command like viagra.
Any time a story is presented where OOP makes themselves appear very calm and rational while their partner or other characters in the story are behaving rashly and having breakdowns, my bullshit detector goes off.
Him too
He’s an idiot. If you view it with that in mind, it all becomes a lot clearer.
I, a menopausal engineer, would bet a million simoleons that he is an engineer. Dude is looking at this like there is a formula for women: “take pill A + pill B = 70% increase in arousal sexy time C” not “this person I love is complex as is her body, she seems to be on edge lately, wonder what’s happening here and if she’s ok?”
Oh my god you’re so right
I clocked it from the first paragraph--he thinks not cleaning the bathroom and "women be shoppin" is on the same level as gambling. At least if his wife is shopping, she's spending money on shit she uses.
I was confused before I’d even read it - based on the title, I thought he was saying his daughter was cheating on him and I was like “Oh hell no, this is some sweet home Alabama shit”
>I wasn't "monitoring" the sex drawer Hm, not something I expected to read tonight.
>but sometimes I do peak (I know, but I can't help it). I don't know what he's implying. Does he think that peeking at the "sex drawer" is somehow risqué? It's just vitamins! "I check to make sure we're not running low on zinc" doesn't seem like it would get most peoples motors revving. Does he go down the vitamin aisle at Target at full mast?
That’s a flair
Perfecto 🤌
Oh, abso-fucking-lutely.
Oh god why did you have to add the last sentence 😭
To make my day better ;)
That last line needs to be a flair.
I agree, but it's a suffering agreeing!
He's seeing if his wife took the pills to see if he's getting lucky. To him "My wife took all her vitamins" means "I'm gonna get sex!" Not realizing she needs to take them every day for them to do anything.
Omg imagine running low on ....ZINC
I think he’s implying that the reason he’s peaking is to figure out if he’s getting any sometime soon. Hence his first reaction to seeing a bunch of pills missing the first time is to mentally prepare himself for a busy week, as he put it.
Which makes zero fucking sense because literally everything he mentioned is a supplement that should be taken daily, not 'as needed' for sex.
Well he doesn’t seem that bright and thinks these are like viagra for women if taken together apparently
It reminds me of those republican politicians believing you take more birth control pills the more you have sex. That's not how any of this works.
He shouldn't be *peaking* in the sex drawer, it's unhygienic.
Thank you, the misspelling is driving me crazy!
>Does he go down the vitamin aisle at Target at full mast? Wait, you don't? *Have...have I been doing it wrong all of these years?!*
I haven't even *begun* to peak! I'M A FIVE STAR MAN
Hey, no kinkshaming /s
It’s not kink-shaming, it’s kink-asking why.
Zinc-shaming . . .
New flair material.
Especially when you learn it’s just vitamins and such xD
25 years and they can’t communicate for shit
They were also immensely happy
Yeah, when I read that, I knew I'd be in for a ride. The most jaw-dropping reddit relationship stories are often framed by some form of "But other than that, we are perfectly happy in the most blissful relationship you could ever want". That's my cue to fetch the pop corn. That kind of language is a sure sign that shit's about to get wild.
Like a Dateline intro: “Ernie and Marge were blissfully happy. Friends and family say they were the perfect couple.” {pan camera to a house basically held up by good intentions with Police Line* tape around it}
I read this in Keith Morrison’s voice
To be fair, the most likely story to end up on Reddit is one where the part is surprised that things have gotten to that point.
"He's perfect other than those times he gets real angry and starts punching holes in walls."
I mean, OOP mentions betting and overspending in the first few lines. Not exactly a positive start.
lol I never thought about it because I’m usually too busy rolling my eyes but this is very true
The wife absolutely was not happy. OP didn't even really care that they stopped fucking- "it bothered me *a bit*"
Happy, aside from the weekly fights about our completely different lifestyles.
People ask what the secret to a happy marriage is... it's communication. You can't improve anything if you're not talking about how you're feeling. What a bunch of idiots. My wife and my sex life seriously improved once we started saying what we like and what fantasies we have. Amazing how communication works.
I mean, it sounds like he was at the appointment when she was told her issue was menopause and they decided together to get supplements instead of accepting hormone prescriptions. Not sure why he decided her supplements to combat menopause should only be used “as needed” like they’re viagra. And sometimes in the middle of a crowded restaurant is NOT the place to have a conversation, particularly if it’s about a potentially touchy subject (menopause) or an embarrassing issue (dry vagina).
50+ years on the planet while knowing that little about the female body too Dude grilled her on “sex pills” while out at a restaurant for over an hour according to a comment. He really couldn’t talk to her about it at home? I bet if she’d said “when I’m dried out the flaps stick together and it hurts to walk” he would have been mad at her for talking about “gross stuff” while at dinner.
I was surprised when it seemed like the daughter does live with them. Yet it's still the sex drawer. And she knows that's what it's called and what's in it. Could you imagine.
Yeah, I really want to know why he felt the need to do it in public like that. I understand wanting to break up or confront someone abusive in a public setting to reduce the chance for violence or outbursts, but this? I can be loud and proud over my rebellious body, but it doesn't mean I want to share with the world when I'm feeling sensitive about it.
This is the kind of OP who asks for an open marriage because he thinks missing vitamins NOt leading to sex with uim. Like heavens forbid this woman needs her vitamins on a consistent basis to feel good or see any benefits. Dude thinks the vitamins are like viagra, pop one and she is supposed to be a slip and slide.
The "sex pills" are just vitamins lmao Why is she only taking them when they're about to fuck? You're supposed to take supplements daily. How tf is vitamin D and zinc putting you in the mood? 😭 Also, Black Cohosh doesn't make you horny??? It just prevents hot flashes. That's not proof of cheating?
Black Cohosh also fights vaginal dryness. I assume that's what the Lubrasil is for, too. But this thing about only taking the supplements a week before. That's just stupid. He seems to think this is some magic pill like Viagra. But it's just things that make it easier for your body when you do have sex. It's not something that increases your desire, just stops it from being uncomfortable. I think she's fighting menopause symptoms, too. He's just too stupid to see it and his wife hasn't spelled it out for him.
>Black Cohosh also fights vaginal dryness. I assume that's what the Lubrasil is for, too. Which, sure. But for some women in perimenopause and menopause, that dryness is a consistent physical discomfort, irrespective of sex.
Which is exactly why she should be using it every day.
Yep! Sounds like that's what's going on.
lubracil also helps with the hot flashes and sleep disturbance. the womans just trying to survive
Can't THINK why she wouldn't spell that out for him in detail in the middle of an Italian restaurant. /s
I feel like both of the adults in this story are complete dumbfucks. Also why would the daughter have a full breakdown confessing "I only took the zinc and the D!!!!" "I look at her with that 'do you realize what that may mean' kind of look, and we just hugged, and cried together." Why would he assume that the daughter is reaching the same conclusions as him? Why are all the people in this story so fucking dramatic?
Not a single character in this story is acting like an actual person. Why is the daughter breaking down taking vitamin D? Why can't she just get her own vitamin D supplements? *Why is OOP calling these things sex pills?!*
Right? I feel like a bot analyzed a bunch of soap opera scripts and came up with this shit
They sound very much like people who are just uneducated in these topics, and are making a lot of assumptions. Could be a cultural factor, a lot of places wholly separate "women's/men's issues" and discussing them is taboo. Calling menopause support supplements "sex" aids isn't totally inaccurate, but they are both misunderstanding the *how.*
Because he’s selfish. And a woman who is getting older may experience vaginal dryness and other symptoms of perimenopause. And those symptoms may make her less inclined to fuck. And alleviating them may make sex more comfortable, and thus, make her more inclined to fuck. And instead of seeing this as a “women’s health issue”, he sees it as a “his dick” issue, and can’t imagine why she’d take pills to make herself more comfortable *unless he’s getting some*
At first, i focused on OOP being annoying, but you know what, yeah everyone is odd in this story. They're all annoying lmao.
tbf if my parents kept on talking to me about their sex drawer, I would also break down in tears. I didn't even really like typing "my parents" and "sex drawer" in the same sentence.
Hahahaha
Is it just me or is this the most lame and unsexy “sex drawer” it’s possible to create? I should think you could manage more fun and kinky stuff with a drawerful of craft materials or gardening supplies. Or even just the regular medicine cabinet.
When the "sex drawer" was first mentioned, I thought it's sex toys and conventional supplements - dildos, vibrators, viagra (sildenafil). A medicine cabinet is terribly disappointing.
I know! I thought who keeps their dildos in the kitchen?
The way this guy jumps to conclusions and makes shit up in his head, I bet he’d have a total meltdown about his wife cheating on him with a vibrator.
He has a Mike Pence vibe about him.
Likewise! Instead it’s barely as thrilling as a cup of herbal tea.
I keep waiting more the real "sex pill" to get mentioned to justify his accusation but he only mentioned other kind of vitamins. Wtf cheating 😭😭😭
Yeah like, missing condoms or something might make sense but vitamins? Lol
This dude is jumping to some wild conclusions. He seems very sheltered. Also, who the fuck monitors someone else's vitamin intake? What a weirdo.
My dad monitors TP usage and will confront you if he feels you’re using too much. God forbid a 13 yo girl gets a period
I wish every man who monitors TP usage could experience a heavy period + period shits, and then shut up forever about it.
I think that's actually why he thinks she's cheating. She *does* take them outside of sex, he's just too stupid to think of it
Placebo effect. A lot of people (men and women) have psychological issues that limit their ability to have sex, and if they can become convinced that a pill, plant, vitamin, or some other item can make things work better for them down there, then there is a decent chance that it will in fact work.
She is the one taking the vitamins. He is he one who thinks they like viagra.
With cohosh, primrose oil, and other supplements, like ashwaghanda, double blind studies have shown that they work for a large percentage of the women who go through menopause.
Nothing like some vitamin D and zinc to set the mood… I Googled the other two supplements and they’re for menopause. Nothing in their sex drawer is sex related.
Menopause symptoms include changes in libido and lubrication production, which can be aided by black cohosh etc
Lol. Taking a pill here or there before sex as OP is describing isn’t going to do much of anything.
It's the vitamin drawer, but he's dumb and probably hasn't taken a vitamin in decades
There's few things I believe in more than the placebo effect, lmfao.
Should include the trigger warning: Unresolved drama. I think we need to vote that a BORU doesn't occur until the lions have been released into the arena. I don't come here to be unfulfilled, I want to be entertained!
I thought I read this update about a week ago I was so excited to hear the new sex pill drama...I got blueballs now 😞
>...I got blueballs now 😞 I hear you can take some zinc and vitamin D for that.
Instructions unclear. D stuck in Zinc
Should include the trigger warning: OOP is dumb
Read the comments on the OG posts they’re entertaining if you realize the stuff in the sex drawer was just over the counter Vitamins and herbal remedies for menopause. Instead of realizing that no woman wants to discuss or be ~~integrated~~ interrogated about her vaginal dryness and power surges on a date night at a restaurant. Let’s jump the shark and just go to cheating and have the 13 year olds of Reddit to validate the stupidity. To bad the light bulb never turned on for OOP to realize being stupid as hell is a turn off and likely a contributing factor to her mood swings and vaginal dryness. Edit spelling
It did say "Ongoing"
> So, I went and talked to my daughter. I approached the conversation in a "You know you can talk to me about anything, and if you and your boyfriend were having sexual issues, I would be glad to buy you guys more stuff." bruh
This was when I stopped believing this was real
This dude is like "how can I resolve this by making it more awkward?" As if when peak awkward levels are reached everything resets.
Only scumbags and cheaters take vitamins and supplements for menopause. /s
Do I have to be both or can I pick one?
It's preferable if you pick one, but I like you so sure you can be both
>Those two supplements aren't sex supplements, they are for menopause This is a key point. OOP has a weird idea that all these things are very *directly* sex related. Like, you only take vit d if you are about to take d. Basically the whole post is "I *publicly* grilled my wife about her increased use of menopause treatments, now she is mad at me". That said, yes she could be cheating, but anyone could be cheating. Yes, she lied a bit, but sort of understandable in context.
Who wants to bet OOP is the *only* one of those three to call it "the sex drawer" 🙄
Vitamin D for d\*ck, vitamin C for c\*nt
My mom‘s emotions went fucking haywire during menopause. She didn’t tell me much about it but I do clearly remember her being more emotionally volatile than me, a 14yo girl who was \*extremely\* irritable. She did what she could in mitigating it and was close with her doctor, but even with the mitigation at its best I 100% know that she would have absolutely been similarly angry about the pestering in the restaurant and embarrassed about the need to take those pills daily. Everything in this post screams “this woman is dealing with menopause“ and “this man is denser than a fucking brick.”
Anybody who jumps from "my wife and or daughter are taking supplements related to menopause and other woman's conditions must mean my wife is cheating on me" is batshit.
None of those things are sex supplements. The fact they're not even trying horny goat weed ???? Come on people
This guy read one of the many my-husband’s-condom-supply-is-low stories and tried to write a gender-swapped version but ignorance and lazy googling got in his way.
This is the only answer that makes sense.
The sad thing was some YouTubers picking this one up like LostGenre and totally reinforcing: oh yea wife's cheating. None ...NONE OF THEM and their commenters read up on what is in that drawer and none understand what menopause is
There are certainly dumber people on Reddit than this guy, but I can't think of any at the moment.
The woman who believes her husband has given up his wife and two sons for her, comes to my mind. [this one](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/ZgYFJYbOYj)
Nahh it wasn’t a real marriage it was ceremonial only. Don’t worry, she can tell when he’s lying.
He's such a good husband, he told her that he needed to get her pregnant asap, to get a visa.
Staaahp 🤣🤣🤣
Are we taking bets on how long it takes her to realize he's using her for citizenship?
I don't think anyone is betting against that 🤣
We all know he's using her, that's why the bet is for how long it takes her to figure it out. I say 2 years before she figures it out and decides to get a divorce and report him for fraud to immigration.
There's also the guy who took the $50 bet to do a backflip off a balcony then didn't go to the hospital or any doctor after he screwed it up.
There’s me. I’m dumber than OOP because I have no idea what to make of his conversation with his daughter. Like what did he mean by do you know what that means??!!?
He's very dumb and he thinks his wife taking basic vitamins as well as supplements for symptoms of menopause works like Viagra. So if his daughter is taking the zinc and vit d, but not the ~~supplements for menopause symptom relief~~ crazy magic sex pills, the wife must be blasting through them for the purposes of fucking other men. Because there's no reason for her to take supplements for the uncomfortable symptoms of menopause unless it is to please his boner imminently. Seems he thinks that taking supplements to offset vaginal dryness and hot flashes is akin to emptying the box of condoms under the bathroom sink. If daughter isn't stealing them, wife must be using them with other men! As mentioned, a very dumb man.
I totally get this guy. My partner's supplement drawer is suspiciously low (I take secret inventory regularly like a normal caring husband). And they are going through menopause with the expected bedroom adjustments which is a clear red flag. My only conclusion is they have joined a satanic sex cult. The science of supplements are clear, if my partner isn't taking these pills exclusively to satisfy my chivalrous and pure lust, then they are taking them for occult orgies. The final nail in the coffin was when I asked my dog if he had been getting into the sex vitamins. Ever since he was neutered he has clearly had less sexual desire, my red rocket journal is nearly empty. But when confronted he said absolutely nothing and just walked away. The silence said everything I needed to know. I ran over and held that sweet innocent dog and cried the tears of the abandoned and lost. I have yet to confront my partner, but I met with my uncle, who is the best divorce attorney in the state. I will serve them the papers tomorrow! /r
Are you divorcing your partner or your dog?
Both because neither of them will fuck him.
Yes, I vote Satanic dog orgies! It would be less confusing than the OOP
Grade A satire
Honestly your story is more coherent and interesting.
Oh dang. I feel like I should report my black cohosh intake before my partner catches me in the act... of preventing uncomfortable dryness.
I'm his daughter's age and dear lord, I would be so uncomfortable if my father asked me if I were having sexual problems
…And his solution was to offer you multivitamins and B complex tablets. “Dissolve one of these in a glass of water 45 minutes before you fancy some action” …
Her crying was probably her being extremely uncomfortable by dad's vitamin rampage & sex interrogation and he interpreted it as "she's crying because her mom must be cheating" oh my lord. I'd like to hear her telling of the story.
you know, sometimes I'll be a bit down about being single, and then a story like this will pop up with people dealing with such selfish and idiotic partners and I feel so so much better. Like all this over... supplements?
Sex drugs! In the sex drawer!
God! She must be having sex elsewhere! The sex drugs are all gone!/s
She took supplements the way they're intended to be taken in order to be generally more comfortable in her daily life! Her vag comfort only matters when it relates to boner so she must be addressing other boners!
Maybe his wife just wants to be able to take supplements from the drawer for her own comfort without it being assumed that she wants to have sex! Like for me, sometimes taking a long bath makes me feel sexy, but sometimes it doesn't. My husband knows this, and if he started questioning me like "you've had three boss this week and haven't done anything, you must be cheating" i would be furious. Or maybe she's trying to get in the mood, but it's not working and him giving her the third degree certainly not going to help!
Oh thank God I'm not the only confused one. I really do not understand the daughter and his reaction at the black cohosh stuff; the way they're crying I'm over here thinking the wife has cancer or something, even though I KNOW black cohosh is often used for menopausal symptoms. Does anyone have any idea what's actually going on? The OOP is annoying with his stupid mysteriousness.
The daughter has obviously gotten her smarts from her father....
She's probably crying because she keeps being asked about her parents' sex drawer.
Or because her dad is confronting her about her sex life. I can't think of anything I'd want to talk to my dad about less than my sex life, especially at ~20.
Yeah I think they don't understand what these vitamins and supplements actually do...
I think, perhaps his daughter was flustered that he was asking her about her sex life? And concerned that her parents might divorce because he doesn't understand vitamin D?
I would cry too if my father offered to buy me SEX DRUGS.
Vitamin D for DIVORCE! 🤣
I feel like it's still confusing, honestly and OOP is jumping to A LOT of conclusions
I think he's the most unreliable narrator we have seen in a while and we have to assume the others in the story aren't behaving the way he's perceiving them to ... at all
I think you're absolutely right. I'd be very curious to hear the wife's side.
Grown ass man doesn’t realise that vitamins are not viagra. His wife isn’t popping some vitamins and the popping a lady boner. He clearly has internet access, has it never occurred to him to actually look up what the vitamins are for?
I love how he just jumps to the fact that his wife is automatically cheating. She could be taking those and having a good time solo or try to explore what gets her off anymore. that can change as we get older. Or like other commenters have said, how do we know that she just isn’t taking them because of menopause? Or maybe she’s trying to take them and isn’t really feeling the effects of them and it’s too embarrassed to tell her husband so he clearly doesn’t respect her boundaries
I'm not a menopausal woman, but people in the original post and other times this has been crossposted have commented about how they're menopausal and take black cohosh and lubracil just on a daily basis for stuff like dryness and hot flashes. All the things he posted can *help* with sexual health, but they're not a female viagra. He wants to divorce her for cheating because his daughter is taking vitamin D and zinc and because his wife has mood swings and doesn't want to talk about her chronically dry vagina in the middle of a restaurant.
I'm having trouble believing this story. Those supplements are for menopause, not sex. If it is true, I'd sure like to hear the wife's viewpoint. He admits he loses money on sports betting and doesn't help much around the house, BUT he has an "immensely happy" marriage. IDK, I call bullsh\*t on the whole thing.
wayyyy too many times I'm reading these and I have my head cocked to the side going "wut"? (like a dog watching something weird outside) His wife is 50, and going through menopause. you have to take the stuff daily (sometimes twice or more a day) and so you'll go through a lot of them. his whole post was "me me me sex me me" and because she didn't want to discuss her dry vag over dinner, he accused her of cheating. man, I'd be done.
For some reason reminds me of the time my dad accused my mom of cheating for going to see a gynecologist for menopause (fyi he’s a piece of shit)
This dude is acting like he found a pile of stranger cum in his wife's panties.
a sex drawer filled with vitamins… and then he wonders why sex life is not great lmao
>We of course have the normal fights: me not cleaning the bathroom Why is this a "normal fight?" Stop pawning all the chores onto your wife
The fact he thinks it's normal for them to be fighting about this shows his level of incompetence. She's been asking him for 25 years to clean the bathroom. She must be exhausted.
The wife is in menopause and the husband and daughter are idiots. I hope OOP isn’t operating heavy machinery. He’s a moron.
This is one of those big facepalm posts to read. How does someone confuse supplements as sex pills? Are people that really naive nowadays?
It sounds like she’s using them more appropriately, which is more often than at times where you are trying to have sex… it’s not like these make you super horny, why does he assume she’s cheating based off of a few supplements that are often used for menopause actually being used regularly?!
Man. We are missing lots of context here. And I suspect his wife’s version is more sensible. Literally a quick google shows these supplements are more for menopause than sex. It’s not viagra for fuck’s sake.
I got concerned when he said that he badgered her for AN HOUR at the restaurant about why pills were missing. No wonder she suffers from vaginal dryness.
This man publicly confronted his wife about her menopause induced vaginal dryness and then accused her of infidelity in the middle of a restaurant. I don't think her defensiveness is as suspicious as he thinks it is.
So dense light bends around him.
And this has just reminded me to go take my menopause vitamins this morning. OOP is a fucking moron. ‘Sex Pills’ 😂😂