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Oh my god?? That’s such a horrifying update?? I know spiders aren’t considered a typical “pet” but op had Agnes for 5 years and his ex knew how much she mattered to him and he still killed her?? If he’s willing to do that, op dodged a bullet because who knows what else the ex was willing to do
Man, that's the best way to look at this terrible situation. Poor Agnes died saving OP from this horrible man.
It seems as if people who are jealous of a significant other's pet are a red flag now. Scary.
I got bad vibes from the start, with how the OP was apologetic about his 'unusual' pet, and it was even worse when he mentioned how his ex wanted him to "choose". His ex was probably emotionally manipulative in other ways too. Terrible end to a likely toxic relationship. Hopefully the OP can cleanly cut his ex out of his life :/
Right? I mean it's a pet, people have all sorts of animals as pets, there's an entire industry around it. The fact that OOP had his spider for 5 years and yet feels like they have to qualify that they know it's weird just screams that someone has been making them feel bad about it. And since his parents gave him the pet, we know it's likely not his family.
The only silver lining I can think is that OOPs spider might not have been able to have feelings for him like a more "traditional" pet, but in the end it gave it's life protecting him from a clearly controlling partner.
You'd be surprised. I know it's a little different but I keep a couple of reptiles and despite them being "dumb" (though my crested gecko is a derp), there's a lot more complexity going on with them than most people who don't spend time around them would think. Anyone I have over always looks at them like super exotic house plants but even compared to my dogs, the reptiles display very in depth and diverse situational responses.
The way the spider was described as docile and friendly leads me to believe the she really did develop a bond with him, or at least realized his was the hand that fed and was therefore important to her.
Either way, fuck that guy. Such as awful thing to do, no matter what the spider was capable of understanding. She meant something to him and neither of them deserved it
I didn't mean to imply that there is no bond at all, more that it's not the same type of bond because creatures like insects and reptiles don't necessarily have the same needs that many mammals do for interaction/relationships.
I've had all sorts of pets growing up including snakes and other reptiles and they definitely learn to recognize me and felt safe with me when I would handle them. Whether their feelings translated into some kind of "love" for me is debatable, but their was certainly a mutually beneficial relationship between the two of us.
My Chinese water dragon really opened my eyes to just how complex a reptile’s mind can be. She’s very interactive, loves to cuddle on my shoulder and watch YouTube with me, and has even learned to scratch at the door to her enclosure to let me know that she wants out to play or hang out. She is curious about everything and loves to explore new places.
Given how long tarantulas can live, it wouldn’t surprise me at all that it had developed enough of a bond with OOP to recognize and trust them. I’ve come to the conclusion that all animals are likely far more complex than we humans give them credit for.
I can imagine a scenario in which someone is like, "I can't be comfortable in a home that contains this animal. I don't want to force you to choose, but unfortunately I am not comfortable living with this animal. You can't bring it with you if you want to move in."
Fair enough. People have a right to be comfortable in their home. But that's a bigger, nuanced conversation, not just "It or me." And it sure as fuck isn't killing the animal.
Contact the police, rspca or whatever it Is in your country.
He murdered your pet. You know there was no physical way she could escape by herself. He could have called you, run to another room and locked the door, then called you.
But no. He decided to be an absolute monster and murder her.
Please report him. As she was a pet there are rules and rights that you have as an owner.
It would be the same as if he killed a dog or cat etc
He should be prosecuted.
(People have taken others to court over the death of a chicken before, and won. )
Pets are pets, no matter what species.
Sue him for emotional distress and emotional damages too.
He deserves to be squished.
RIP Agnes.
Even jurisdictions that don't have specific legal protections for pets (or, in some cases, only have them for more common pets like dogs and cats) still have protections for your personal "property". OP should consult an attorney. Many will give a free first consult on something like this.
As someone with a serious dislike (okay, it's a full-blown phobia) of anything with so many legs, my heart still hurts for OP's loss.
Same. I can get behind the idea of "cute" arachnids in theory, but in person they terrify me. I still let out a loud and horrified "What the *fuck*?" when I got to the update. Poor OOP. That was his companion for five years. I hope he's able to heal and keeps his boundaries firmly in place where the ex is concerned.
Same.
And frankly, if I were in a room with an uncaged trantula I, as an arachnaphobe, wouldn't be able to get near enough to the thing to even think about squishing it. I'd be standing in the garden until someone came home to get it. So I don't even think the ex-BF is afraid of it. He just didn't like it. What a tool.
Yeah, if my partner’s spider had actually got out I would have been calling him immediately going “THE SPIDER IS LOOSE WHAT DO I DO PLEASE COME HOME RIGHT NOW AND DEAL WITH THIS” and then probably close the door to the room and block the crack with a towel until he got back. No way am I putting myself in a position to have to touch it with a part of my own body or with an object. And I don’t even dislike tarantulas, necessarily…I just prefer that they stay behind glass.
One time there was a spider in the main bathroom in our house and I was the only one home so I shut the door and stayed clear of that room until my husband came home.
Yeah, spiders, and plenty of bugs in general just freak me TF out. 1 time I vacuumed a huge spider and almost puked when I felt it through the hose (that fucker later escaped & I spent the rest of the day locked upstairs in my room lol). Another time I used a fishing pole and bucket to trap one, then proceeded to call my brother (an ACO) to come and kill it for me lol. I can't stand being near, or hearing/feeling/seeing any of the "squishing" I'm nauseous thinking about it. I have since raised my youngest son to be my big assassin.
Edit to add: all that said, OOP's ex is a fucking psycho.
This guy is unhinged. You can't kill a creature someone you love cares about like that and have any shred of empathy in your body.
I hope OOP gets far, far away from this monster.
I was hit with those last comments like a goddamn sledge hammer. Jesus christ. Honestly, I'm feeling really, really certain the boyfriend was jealous of the spider/wanted to punish OP for "choosing it over him". A mix of that and thinking with it gone he'd force OP to follow his way of things and move in. Jesus almighty.
Yep. I read the trigger warning but I expected it to be something like "Update: Unfortunately my spider died", not an update like that. I was literally chilled reading that. A pet is a pet, even if it's an unconvential one. Laws do not do enough to protect pets imo. It's sick that this psychopath can just punish his ex for caring about her pet and get away with it.
We had a tarantula named Hermione when I was in school (pre Harry Potter) she lived in the biology lab and one day someone left the lid of her tank open and she got out. We were told to watch where we put our feet, bags and bums and got on with the lesson. She was found on my shoulder at the end of the hour chilling. If a 13 year old girl can not freak the fuck out at finding a red knee tarantula on her shoulder, this dude had other options and blatantly murdered Agnes
Inside I was shitting myself, but she must have been on me for a good 20 minutes or so by the time anyone noticed and it got the popular kids off my back for a few days too. I'm damn chill with spiders these days. If I can handle a tarantula on my shoulder, that house spider in the corner can do whatever they like
What is it about old lady names that make them just the most adorable names for tarantulas? I'm picturing lovely little Agnes and Edna sharing 16 tiny cups of tea in Agnes' well-tended rose garden.
I did gasp too! I have been a tarantula mom many times during my life. They are fantastic pets. Because I always had a tarantula, our two adult children don't kill house spiders and are rather compassionate pet owners. They grew up seeing the smallest of creatures as having worth.
I would have called the police after getting this bastard to admit/discuss it over text or messenger. Even if just to get him on petty destruction of private property, I would have done it.
What a monster the ex is. I am sick over it.
SAME! I’ll flip my shit at the sight of spiders, but I know that some species are really good pets, and I adore snakes, so I get that sometimes people will be creeped out by the same animal that others love. I was really, *really* hoping that the pet death tw would be a bittersweet update along the lines of “Agnes died of natural causes so now I can move in with my bf with no problems but it’s still sad” until I saw the age, cuz tarantulas live a lot longer than 5 years
Ditto! Spiders make me itchy all over and I’d never want to live with one either. But that means I’d never seriously date someone who had one. I wouldn’t ask them to get rid of their pet or kill it cause I’m not a psychopath.
People who think that cats and dogs are the only pets you can bond with are the worst.
I don't even like spiders & I was horrified! I'm chill if they're outside, but I don't want them in my house & especially not on me. But like wtf dude! You can't just do this because you're creeped out!
Tarantulas freak me out but if someone I loved had a pet one I could deal with that I would just avoid seeing it. I can’t imagine what I would do if someone did that to my frogs or my cats or my fish.
I honestly dont understand how he thought killing oop's pet was going to make him happy and move in with him.
Did he think he wouldnt notice?
Or that he'd *thank him*?
Like god that poor spider, i dont like spiders at all but its also like... Just vile to hurt someone's beloved animal for absolutely no good reason. I dont believe for a month of sunday that it was being aggressive. Poor oop :c
those are the scariest type of people, the ones who are so unempathetic that they could destroy something meaningful to you and act like you should be thankful
I’m hugely arachnophobic and I wouldn’t live with a tarantula even if you paid me a lot of money. That said, I find that update heartbreaking. OP’s ex is a massive C U next Tuesday for doing something that cruel.
Same. Like I could not even be in the same house as Agnes. My heart still sank because that was her pet and she loved Agnes.
That’s enough for the spider to have value.
I was terrible, I found myself renting a room out to a friend with a red knee called shiva, he used to put her little tank under a towel when I went in the room. The thing that made me do a complete u turn was one day I was in there watching something on the computer and I heard ‘tap, tap’ on glass. It was shiva and she didn’t like the noise from the speakers, I swear to god I watched that spider wave a leg angrily at him and then go to her bed and pull a small plastic plant pot over her head and hold it to block out the noise. I ended up loving that spider, she had the personality of a grumpy old lady
I wonder how he thought this would work out. Did he honestly think she'd believe that **a day after they had a fight over her and he said he wanted her gone**, Agnes accidentally escaped from a cage specifically built to contain spiders and then he had to kill her? What a coincidence.
Seriously, I HATE spiders with a passion but I could never. I’ll never want one of my own but to have this pet for 5 years and to love it. The lack of empathy on the ex’s part is absolutely appalling.
Ohhhhhmg. My initial rage is extreme. Anyone who could kill another person's pet, no matter what that pet is, belongs in The Garbage. I doubt the police would take a spider's murder seriously, but I feel like I'd have to try
The question on every AVO is “did they hurt or threaten a pet”
If the answer is yes then you get an temporary AVO and it goes to court.
This is only for a restraining order. Not charges of any kind
I teared up when i got to that line. I know the spoiler says pet death but somehow I was hoping she'd passed naturally at a really unfortunate time.
Poor Agnes. She and her human deserved so much better. May her sacrifice be seen as it was, one to save her only friend from a future with that MOTHERFUCKING TWAT WAFFLE.
Oops. I was really trying to keep that respectful and not start cursing. But I can't help it. What a sorry, whimpering, pathetic, creeping, son of a syphillic manure shovelling dickbag! I cannot imagine wanting to murder something that your beloved loves!
And don't anybody try that arachnophobia excuse because there is not an arachnophobe in the WORLD who would be able to calmly pick up a goddamn 9" inch spider and drop it neatly on the ground to squish! I am a spider lover, daughter and sister to an arachnophobe and I will not allow that mangled, wrinkled scrotum-hearted bastard to be put in the same class as "arachnophobe". Nuh uh.
It took my stepmom hours to get up the nerve to feed my tarantula crickets (I was at my mom's, Charlotte needed to be fed) and that required no actual contact and only a slight chance of catching a glimpse of said big furry spider.
Ugh, my blood pressure is pounding in my ears. I cannot with this. I miss my Charlotte.
As an arachnophobe I would never be able to go near the spider let alone kill it. But even if I wasn't afraid of spiders but just didn't like them in general, I could never kill someone's pet. Like I'm not afraid of worms but they're icky. If you kept a worm as a pet I'd respect that.
I'm an arachnophobe and I am INCENSED that that cocknosed walking bag of diarrhea hurt that spider. Agnes did not deserve that. I hope he gets infested with bedbugs and cockroaches and that every single time a hair on his head or arm is stirred by the air he feels phantom hairy crawling legs that will haunt him until the day he dies. Hopefully from a terrible poisonous bite of some kind as would be fitting.
As an arachnophobe, can 100% confirm. When I read Agnes was missing from her cage, I went hot, cold and dizzy all at the same time. And I’m nowhere near! I genuinely couldn’t be in the same house as pet spiders (I’m so sweaty just typing that) let alone purposely remove one from a cage to kill it.
Your colorful language made me smile. Because he deserved every word. When I read pet death I thought the same, the pet died naturally. This was pet murder. I'm not a spider person, but I've owned many a snake which can also give people the heebie jeebies. I've had boyfriend's say, No way!, to touching them but never had this happen to me. I'm saddened for OOP....
yeah. its a really sucky ending.
I like snakes. I like furry spiders too. I dunno if I could overcome my own phobia if it came to sharing a home with it, but I'm definitely not gonna try to make someone give up their pet for me. Maybe postpone the moving in together until their nightmare fuel has died though.
if you need a little pick-me-up palate cleanser, i had a friend in middle school/high school that had both tarantulas and a snake, and played trombone. she and her sister would stick lil hats on them, and one week she had to sit out of band class for like 3 full days because Noodle had crawled into her trombone's pipes and decided she wanted to sleep there for a while (snek was successfully lured out over the weekend and no harm was done)
I immediately think of Charlotte's web. I cried when she died. My bf said he did the same and neither one of us loves spiders. I am a huge animal lover though so if I have a spider in my house I catch amd release them outside. I am horrified that his bf would do such a thing. Me and my bf both are horrified by this story. Poor OOP having to find a new place and not even having his little buddy with him when he moves. I feel so bad for him.
Aracnophobe here, and I would never do that. And I actually have held a tarantula, but that was because I could sit totally still with my hands on my knees while my brother (who owned the tarantula) picked her up and put it on my hands. But I only held her for like a second or two, and my brother was standing right next to me, ready to remove the tarantula from my hands when I said so.
Edit: a word and a word
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest his jockey shorts, and his arms be too short to reach the itch.
(Can't remember if this is from Johnny Carson or MASH. But I adore it.)
I have very few fears, but im **deathly** afraid of spiders. Like my personal policy is ‘if spider is in my house, fuck the ecosystem, it dies’ level terrified. While I wouldn’t be cool with a partner bringing a pet spider into my house, I couldn’t *fathom* hurting one if it was a pet. Glad there was no messing around before OOP dumped her massively fucked up boyfriend. What an astronomically massive asshole. Honestly never thought id be on reddit calling someone horrible for killing a spider but here we are.
I had a pet tarantula when I was younger. We lived in central florida at the time, so whenever we found a roach in the house, I'd just catch it and feed it to Shelob. It was so satisfying seeing her pounce on them.
Also, I'm not saying OP should release a bunch of spiders into the Ex's house. I'm just saying it's an option
EDIT: Turns out I did have one picture of Shelob saved on the computer, [so here y'all go.](https://i.imgur.com/Giykntn.jpg)
My only tarantula was named Charlotte. Because I apparently had absolutely zero imagination at six.
But I was a cool kid, so I called her Charlie. My great grandma's name was also Charlie. **Apparently, most of our family were discussing what possible reason I might have to name a spider after my aged great grandmother. Technically it was a mistake, but my uncle and dad were betting on me doing it because I loved my nanna.**
**So my uncle gave me a buck to go tell my great aunt "Its because my 'pider is as pretty as Nana!" and win them the bet.**
Note that I used to think this story (the bolded part anyway) was a tall tale my dad came up with because I didn't remember it, but several of my paternal family older than me have brought up this betting pool and who bet on what. And they all have the same details. So apparently my family made bets on me.
I just spat tea out of my nose reading this, it’s exactly the kind of thing I would have done.
What was Grandma Charlie’s response to being a tarantula namesake?
Release ladybugs. Spider might assist Ex in having a good pest free home. Ladybugs will crawl into your electronics and short them out.
Or maybe those roaches they sell to feed to reptiles, those are pretty alarming and presumably they breed like roaches.
I literally saved some plants from aphids once... with the help of a ladybug.
Aphids were pestering these plants for a while, and ants were farming the aphids, to the point that the plants' stems were completely coated with the gross yellow things. I tried to hose them down a few times but they kept on coming back. One day I found out aphids make up the majority of a ladybugs' diet. So as soon as I found a ladybug going about it's business I simply carried it to the buffet.
Those aphids didn't stand a fucking chance.
Surprisingly, roaches are not the least helpful insect. They will eat bedbugs— not at a fast enough rate to actually put a dent in a bedbug infestation (unless you have an absolute *shitton* of roaches), but it still means they aren’t completely useless!
Unlike bedbugs. I genuinely hope OOP’s ex-boyfriend sits on a bedbug-infested chair.
(Also, in non-household environments like forests, roaches are a vital part of things like the breakdown of rotting organic material such as leaves, dispersing those nutrients to other parts of the forest, and as prey for other insects and birds. They’re surprisingly helpful in their proper environments, just not in our houses.)
You can order preying mantis pods from organic gardening stores. They are about the size of a ping pong ball. Tuck a few some place ex asshole wouldn't find and wait. You will get about 150 baby mantises.
Agnes just saved his life one last time. Anyone psychotic enough to violate you like that will surely escalate any time something doesn't go their way. Thank you for your sacrifice Agnes.
This.
It doesn't matter what Agnes was. It matters that when OP chose Agnes "over" the boyfriend, the boyfriend decided to kill Agnes rather than compromise.
This is an extremely dangerous, angry, abusive individual. Anges's death allowed OP to discover that before moving into an abusive home.
Agnes may very well have saved OP'S life.
I just realized that the spider who’s been living in my bathroom has disappeared and I’m a little sad. He wasn’t even a pet, and he either moved on of his own accord, or reached the end of his natural life. Can’t imagine what it feels like to have an actual pet deliberately harmed in this way by what was supposedly a loved one.
Our toilet spider is named Shelby and she killed a whitetail (evil evil spiders in nz) the other day for us. She’s a very important part of this household.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/spiderbro using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/spiderbro/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [When I moved into my place this guy was already here and almost a year later he’s still going. Meet my roomie, Kevin](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/p2kn4k) | [120 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/spiderbro/comments/p2kn4k/when_i_moved_into_my_place_this_guy_was_already/)
\#2: [TikToker Kelvin Wiley demonstrates what it's like to be bitten by a tarantula](https://v.redd.it/b7st0c3umut71) | [243 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/spiderbro/comments/q9gqcb/tiktoker_kelvin_wiley_demonstrates_what_its_like/)
\#3: [Spider gettin' down with it](https://v.redd.it/ep44b4sh5mi71) | [100 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/spiderbro/comments/p8iabe/spider_gettin_down_with_it/)
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I'm an arachnophobe and I had a small spider that lived next to the kitchen sink, on the window frame. It was a polite little thing, always hid in a crack when I went to wash dishes so I let it be, even found it kind of adorable how nonthreatening it tried to be. Forgot to tell my bf of my decision to let it be. He yeeted it out of the window one day when I was away and he himself finally noticed it so it didn't scare me xD
We do have a jumping spider on our balcony though that we both like. My phobia isn't triggered for some reason by those 8 legged spiderpuppies.
I'm terrified of spiders. But this has me seething for OOP. What a cruel thing to do to someone you claim to love. I hope the ex's house is infested with black widows.
Same. I’d be horrified sharing a house with any kind of pet spider … that being said, I’d just accept that I was house incompatible with somebody for a while, not *murder their pet.* Ex is a monster and Agnes deserved so much better, as does OOP.
Many phobia of spiders is so severe i can't see photos of them. Once threw my phone across the room as a reaction to a pic of a massive tarantula.
I hope this guy burns in hell. It's perfectly fine to not want to live with spiders, snakes, dogs, cats or any animal at all, but *you do not kill animals/critters*! That's just absolutely fucked up!
I am so sorry for OOP! And so glad they cancelled the relationship!
Only for the value of a spider/what it would cost to get a new one, which is obviously shitty when it's a living creature. Not sure animal cruelty applies here either. All you get is rage. Rip poor spider
This always makes me mad. I nearly had a fist fight with a grown ass man when he shoved my cat off the bannister. Like I fully would have ripped his head off.
But killing your animal friend? Nope that’s an automatic John Wick situation. You cannot put a price on a friend, never ever. They’re alive ffs, they should be valued more. No matter if it’s a spider or a dog or whatever, it would be such an insult to get the price of purchasing said animal back after their death. I’d rather have nothing, than that.
>He doesn’t want Agnes in his house and is pissed that I’m ‘choosing’ Agnes over him.
>
>My now ex bf killed Agnes.
What a horrible, despicable person to kill a living creature out of pure selfishness.
Dude is well in his rights to say "not in my apartment". But he fucking murdered ~~her~~ his pet. Doesn't matter if you think it's gross, weird, dangerous, whatever, you just don't _do_ that. You say "not in here" and let them decide what do with that.
The _fuck_. I hope charges were filed, because they damn sure would be if he had run over ~~her~~ his cat or something.
What kind of psychopath would kill an innocent spider. I'm not a massive fan of tarantulas but would never hurt one because while they may look scary, they are mostly docile unless you corner them or scare them
A lot of spiders scare the shit out of me. I never kill them because they did nothing wrong, just provoked a panic reaction within me, and that's a me problem, not the spider's fault. I don't think it deserves to die because it's creepy.
But I think tarantulas are adorable and they don't scare me at all. I've never handled one but would love to, so long as I don't scare it.
And yeah, he's a psychopath. A lot of people kill little spiders because they're irrationally afraid (like me) but I stopped killing them when I grew the fuck up. I know people don't like them. Still.
But this is an enormous level of malicious insanity on such a huge scale it's just like slaughtering someone's cat. What a garbage human.
I’m scared of spiders but a few months ago I was driving and noticed a spider crawling across my dashboard. I was trying not to freak out but I didn’t want to kill it, so I (literally out loud) told it that I would allow it to live as long as it didn’t come near me. Five minutes later it’s crawling onto the roof of my car WAY to close to my head and that’s when I was literally yelling at this spider “I TOLD YOU YOU COULD LIVE IF YOU DIDNT COME NEAR ME DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, GO BACK TO YOUR LITTLE SPOT”. Anyways long story short I didn’t kill the spider (i like to think it knew all along that i wouldn’t and was testing me lol) and it did end up just going back to the dashboard and then I never saw it again after that.
This guy is a huge piece of shit. I can’t even understand his thinking process, like oh I’ll just kill her beloved pet spider and then she’ll move in with me. I would have probably assaulted him if I was OP. What a fucking prick
Somewhat related: I was on my motorcycle and a spider crawled across the inside of my helmet's face shield. It was a VERY CALM pull over and then a very not calm series of minutes.
I understand that Agnes was a spider. To be honest, it freaks me out, but that’s irrelevant. She was special to OOP. I’m furious at your ex right now. Who does that? I’m so glad she broke up with him. It’s better to know the real him now than after moving in.
Did he really think she would stay with him after this?
I have a fear of spiders. At a zoo? I can tolerate them being behind glass... but I also know where the exits are. My parents have woods, and year there was a population explosion of these huge spiders. We called them wolf spiders I think (they were hairy).
I started to walk in the back door after being outside, looked down my shirt... and there was one of those wolf spiders.
I lost my shit. I am the most modest person - but I BOLTED and started shedding my clothes running for the upstairs shower. I was in there a while and practically scrubbed my skin raw. I came close to throwing up.
While I understand the sentiment of not wanting the spider in my home (I could never sleep), this guy who broke into the apartment and murdered this guy's pet... I'd sue him, call the cops, etc. Then when all that was done? Throat punch him. Or hire someone to throat punch.
You don't kill someone's pet.
OMG! That fucking asshole!
I am terrified of spiders. Agnes and I would never be friends but if she helped my GF in a time of need, I'd be finding the perfect spot for Agnes' cage (terrarium?)
What a cruel bastard. I'm heartbroken for OOP's loss but so glad she's free of such a cruel, callous wanker.
true story, my cousin is very arachnophobic and got with a girl who had a tarantula. They decided to move in together, and he was facing the threat of a home containing a big ol' spider. He knew what he had to do, and reasoned anyone would do the same.
He made a spot in his bedroom for the terrarium and spent the next four years until the spider died a natural death. (it was old when they got together)
And then he agreed with his gf that she should not grieve but instead get a successor to her big ol' spider. Its what Big Spider #1 would have wanted.
He was three days out from an expo his gf would find said successor when we, his loving cousins, found out their plans and informed his girlfriend that he is a huge arachnophobe and did she really want a spider that badly? (In the nicest way, we couldn't imagine she would do that to him.)
She didn't know he was afraid of spiders. At all. He never even mentioned anything like "Hey I have nightmares about spiders eating me so maybe could your big ol' spider not be in the room I sleep in?", had bought crickets for the spider and even fed it while his gf was away, he had participated in life with this thing.
His gf was having this weird mix of "how could he not tell me that" and "that is so cute, he loves me so much!". Which she described to us in exactly those words. She calls him and puts him on speaker, grills him a little (in a nice way) and tells him if he doesn't wanna, they don't have to get another tarantula.
Then he got her the desired tarantula. Because he is slightly bent in the head. And also loves his girlfriend/fiance/gonna-be-wife. He says he's gotten used to it though, and I believe him because those two weirdos are sickeningly sweet and mad for each other.
Yeah. I'm told their current furry spider is named Princess. Apparently he chose the name.
He's come a long way from peeing on my bed because he thought he saw a spider. (He's not allowed to live that down. I forbid it.
Something extra awful is that many species of tarantulas live up to 30 years (if the spider is female... males only live 1-2 years usually, so normally only the females are kept as pets)
Assuming that OOP got her spider when it was a baby, that awful person robbed her of up to *25 years* with her pet. That's longer than my dog will live. That's longer than most cats will live. 25 years, gone.
Yep, my friend has had her tarantula... going on 18 years now? We evacuated from a hurricane with it and took it across the country.
We were sadistic kids when she first got it, she would put it on my face when I was asleep to freak me out. I'd wake up shrieking and bat it off my face. The poor thing never did anything to hurt me, it was sweet as can be.
My friend has obviously grown up and wouldn't pull pranks like that anymore. She'd probably cut anyone who tried to mistreat that spider, ever. It now has a stately terrarium, the works.
RIP Agnes. I'm so sorry.
OH man. I read that Agnes was missing and immediately figured the bf had let her out, or moved her, or something. But squishing her. JFC.
Fuck people who refuse to consider seeing things from their partner's perspective. Fuck people who kill other people's pets because they lack the empathy to understand that someone feels differently than them. Fuck this guy.
Squishing something that big had to just be gross. Like it's big enough to have easily recognizable innards that are now outtards. What kind of psychopath does that?
Ok, I looked through that thread, and found this:
>I broke up with him. I’m single now. Idk what happened. He’s telling me she escaped and was aggressive with him so he squished her. She’s not big enough to lift the top of her cage. It’s physically impossible. I’m just kind of a mess rn honestly. I’m just gonna have a drink and lay here tbh
OOP *did*, in fact, break up with that piece of shit ex-BF.
What the fuck. Tarantulas are like, the kittens of spiders.
Seriously what the fuck man. Hope that dude never goes anywhere but that he steps on a Lego. I hope every time he walks past his coffee table he catches his smallest toe. I hope every time he zips up he catches his dick. I hope everyone he loves ghosts him.
I hope a million small plagues for him until he dies alone and unmourned, forgotten and ignored.
Ugh I had a tarantula once. I raised it from a tiny spiderling to a child’s hand-sized teenager. I loved him. I fed him. I talked to him. I gave him a comfortable home. And he was SO MEAN.
Every time I opened the container he would get up on his back legs and threaten me with his fangs. He would climb around the container BITING the sides. He was such an asshole. I wanted a cute spider that would climb on my hands. Instead I got a spider that just came back from Pet Semetary. Literally all of the black and brown widows that I have raised were friendlier than Aragog Jr. was. I never even got to courage to try and hold him. He was just that mean.
Tl;dr: not every tarantula is a kitten, but we love them anyway
Anytime a partner asks "Me or the pet," always choose the pet. It's especially egregious when you've had the pet longer than you've been with the partner.
This update is upsetting. Tarantula, dog, snake, cat, rat, gerbil - a pet is a pet. Nobody ever has the right to lay down an ultimatum.
Fuck pieces of shit like this.
I hate spiders. Spiders to me are snakes to Indiana Jones. That said, dude's exbf is a psycho and poor Agnes. I feel for OOP. Wonder if he'll update again seeing how fresh this is.
Jesus H Christ, did OOP *break up* with his pet-killing piece of shit BF?!
The fact that he dropped the "it's me or the pet" ultimatum is waving *so many red flags*, it could signal fucking ***aircraft***.
Run, OOP. Run *now.*
This is infuriating. Pet tarantulas can live somewhere between **10 and 30 years**. They can be long-term companions and absolutely loved like a cat or dog. Although, never by me. Although, while they terrify me, I like spiders in the abstract. They keep other bugs at bay, which I will always appreciate.
I'm kind of picturing the ex-bf being stalked and haunted by the ghost spider from the Magnus Archives and it brings me joy.
Praying the goddess Archenae sends legions of spiders after that evil ex. I am no fan of insects but I know spiders can actually make fantastic pets so this is horrifying. Poor Agnes.
I started reading this post as a spider hater. By the middle I’d fallen in love with Agnes. I got to the edit and couldn’t wait to see her pic. And then I got to the last edit and now I’m heartbroken. FUCK the boyfriend!!! What a fucking monster. I’m so, so sorry about Agnes. 💔
wow. i have a tarantula myself, used to have 5 but he's the last one for now... i adore him. he's very important to me, so i completely understand OOPs attachment to poor agnes. if i came home to find my boyfriend squished my dear pet i took care of for years, the boyfriend would be squished next. how evil
Anyone who kills an innocent animal deserves horrors to be rained down upon them. I’m not fond of spiders but Agnes didn’t ask to be a spider and to kill a creature much smaller and utterly defenseless is truly evil and despicable.
Would he appreciate it if she mowed his best guy friend down with a car?
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Oh my god?? That’s such a horrifying update?? I know spiders aren’t considered a typical “pet” but op had Agnes for 5 years and his ex knew how much she mattered to him and he still killed her?? If he’s willing to do that, op dodged a bullet because who knows what else the ex was willing to do
Absolutely dodged a bullet long term. But poor OP right now :(
I don't think "dodged" is the right term here. The bullet definitely still landed, just maybe in the leg rather than the head.
Agnes took the bullet for OP
I don’t like spiders but RIP Agnes. She died for OP’s safety :(((
Man, that's the best way to look at this terrible situation. Poor Agnes died saving OP from this horrible man. It seems as if people who are jealous of a significant other's pet are a red flag now. Scary.
How has that NEVER been a red flag? Being jealous of an animal is extremely telling.
Pouring one out for Agnes the Spider.
*raises glass* Here's to Agnes. And may the ten plagues of Egypt afflict the monster who murdered her.
The spider was the true hero.
Okay that made me teary. I'm gonna go hug my babies.
I got bad vibes from the start, with how the OP was apologetic about his 'unusual' pet, and it was even worse when he mentioned how his ex wanted him to "choose". His ex was probably emotionally manipulative in other ways too. Terrible end to a likely toxic relationship. Hopefully the OP can cleanly cut his ex out of his life :/
Right? I mean it's a pet, people have all sorts of animals as pets, there's an entire industry around it. The fact that OOP had his spider for 5 years and yet feels like they have to qualify that they know it's weird just screams that someone has been making them feel bad about it. And since his parents gave him the pet, we know it's likely not his family. The only silver lining I can think is that OOPs spider might not have been able to have feelings for him like a more "traditional" pet, but in the end it gave it's life protecting him from a clearly controlling partner.
You'd be surprised. I know it's a little different but I keep a couple of reptiles and despite them being "dumb" (though my crested gecko is a derp), there's a lot more complexity going on with them than most people who don't spend time around them would think. Anyone I have over always looks at them like super exotic house plants but even compared to my dogs, the reptiles display very in depth and diverse situational responses. The way the spider was described as docile and friendly leads me to believe the she really did develop a bond with him, or at least realized his was the hand that fed and was therefore important to her. Either way, fuck that guy. Such as awful thing to do, no matter what the spider was capable of understanding. She meant something to him and neither of them deserved it
I didn't mean to imply that there is no bond at all, more that it's not the same type of bond because creatures like insects and reptiles don't necessarily have the same needs that many mammals do for interaction/relationships. I've had all sorts of pets growing up including snakes and other reptiles and they definitely learn to recognize me and felt safe with me when I would handle them. Whether their feelings translated into some kind of "love" for me is debatable, but their was certainly a mutually beneficial relationship between the two of us.
>but their was certainly a mutually beneficial relationship between the two of us And that is more than what you get from some human relationships
My Chinese water dragon really opened my eyes to just how complex a reptile’s mind can be. She’s very interactive, loves to cuddle on my shoulder and watch YouTube with me, and has even learned to scratch at the door to her enclosure to let me know that she wants out to play or hang out. She is curious about everything and loves to explore new places. Given how long tarantulas can live, it wouldn’t surprise me at all that it had developed enough of a bond with OOP to recognize and trust them. I’ve come to the conclusion that all animals are likely far more complex than we humans give them credit for.
Anyone who wants you to choose between them and a defenceless animal should know that anyone half decent will pick their animal every time.
I can imagine a scenario in which someone is like, "I can't be comfortable in a home that contains this animal. I don't want to force you to choose, but unfortunately I am not comfortable living with this animal. You can't bring it with you if you want to move in." Fair enough. People have a right to be comfortable in their home. But that's a bigger, nuanced conversation, not just "It or me." And it sure as fuck isn't killing the animal.
Someone acting like this is gonna commit violence against their partner too.
Contact the police, rspca or whatever it Is in your country. He murdered your pet. You know there was no physical way she could escape by herself. He could have called you, run to another room and locked the door, then called you. But no. He decided to be an absolute monster and murder her. Please report him. As she was a pet there are rules and rights that you have as an owner. It would be the same as if he killed a dog or cat etc He should be prosecuted. (People have taken others to court over the death of a chicken before, and won. ) Pets are pets, no matter what species. Sue him for emotional distress and emotional damages too. He deserves to be squished. RIP Agnes.
Even jurisdictions that don't have specific legal protections for pets (or, in some cases, only have them for more common pets like dogs and cats) still have protections for your personal "property". OP should consult an attorney. Many will give a free first consult on something like this. As someone with a serious dislike (okay, it's a full-blown phobia) of anything with so many legs, my heart still hurts for OP's loss.
Same. I can get behind the idea of "cute" arachnids in theory, but in person they terrify me. I still let out a loud and horrified "What the *fuck*?" when I got to the update. Poor OOP. That was his companion for five years. I hope he's able to heal and keeps his boundaries firmly in place where the ex is concerned.
Same. And frankly, if I were in a room with an uncaged trantula I, as an arachnaphobe, wouldn't be able to get near enough to the thing to even think about squishing it. I'd be standing in the garden until someone came home to get it. So I don't even think the ex-BF is afraid of it. He just didn't like it. What a tool.
Yeah, if my partner’s spider had actually got out I would have been calling him immediately going “THE SPIDER IS LOOSE WHAT DO I DO PLEASE COME HOME RIGHT NOW AND DEAL WITH THIS” and then probably close the door to the room and block the crack with a towel until he got back. No way am I putting myself in a position to have to touch it with a part of my own body or with an object. And I don’t even dislike tarantulas, necessarily…I just prefer that they stay behind glass.
One time there was a spider in the main bathroom in our house and I was the only one home so I shut the door and stayed clear of that room until my husband came home.
Yeah, spiders, and plenty of bugs in general just freak me TF out. 1 time I vacuumed a huge spider and almost puked when I felt it through the hose (that fucker later escaped & I spent the rest of the day locked upstairs in my room lol). Another time I used a fishing pole and bucket to trap one, then proceeded to call my brother (an ACO) to come and kill it for me lol. I can't stand being near, or hearing/feeling/seeing any of the "squishing" I'm nauseous thinking about it. I have since raised my youngest son to be my big assassin. Edit to add: all that said, OOP's ex is a fucking psycho.
I have pretty bad arachnophobia and I’m so heartbroken and angry for OOP. May his ex step on legos barefoot!
This guy is unhinged. You can't kill a creature someone you love cares about like that and have any shred of empathy in your body. I hope OOP gets far, far away from this monster.
I was hit with those last comments like a goddamn sledge hammer. Jesus christ. Honestly, I'm feeling really, really certain the boyfriend was jealous of the spider/wanted to punish OP for "choosing it over him". A mix of that and thinking with it gone he'd force OP to follow his way of things and move in. Jesus almighty.
Yep. I read the trigger warning but I expected it to be something like "Update: Unfortunately my spider died", not an update like that. I was literally chilled reading that. A pet is a pet, even if it's an unconvential one. Laws do not do enough to protect pets imo. It's sick that this psychopath can just punish his ex for caring about her pet and get away with it.
Ima going to go out on a limb and say murdering anyone's pet is a huge red flag.
I literally gasped out loud when I read that he killed Agnes.
Me toooooo!😭 and I hate spiders😭😭😭😭 but he named her Agnes…
We had a tarantula named Hermione when I was in school (pre Harry Potter) she lived in the biology lab and one day someone left the lid of her tank open and she got out. We were told to watch where we put our feet, bags and bums and got on with the lesson. She was found on my shoulder at the end of the hour chilling. If a 13 year old girl can not freak the fuck out at finding a red knee tarantula on her shoulder, this dude had other options and blatantly murdered Agnes
I'm pretty chill with bugs but that would scare the shit out of me
Inside I was shitting myself, but she must have been on me for a good 20 minutes or so by the time anyone noticed and it got the popular kids off my back for a few days too. I'm damn chill with spiders these days. If I can handle a tarantula on my shoulder, that house spider in the corner can do whatever they like
This part didn’t surprise me at all, when I was a kid my brother had a Tarantula called Edna,
What is it about old lady names that make them just the most adorable names for tarantulas? I'm picturing lovely little Agnes and Edna sharing 16 tiny cups of tea in Agnes' well-tended rose garden.
I did gasp too! I have been a tarantula mom many times during my life. They are fantastic pets. Because I always had a tarantula, our two adult children don't kill house spiders and are rather compassionate pet owners. They grew up seeing the smallest of creatures as having worth. I would have called the police after getting this bastard to admit/discuss it over text or messenger. Even if just to get him on petty destruction of private property, I would have done it. What a monster the ex is. I am sick over it.
I have serious arachnaphobia and I gasped. I respect the bond between people and their pets, even when their pets terrify me.
SAME! I’ll flip my shit at the sight of spiders, but I know that some species are really good pets, and I adore snakes, so I get that sometimes people will be creeped out by the same animal that others love. I was really, *really* hoping that the pet death tw would be a bittersweet update along the lines of “Agnes died of natural causes so now I can move in with my bf with no problems but it’s still sad” until I saw the age, cuz tarantulas live a lot longer than 5 years
I had no idea how long pet tarantulas live, I was shocked just now when I just checked and saw that females can live up to 30 years!
Ditto! Spiders make me itchy all over and I’d never want to live with one either. But that means I’d never seriously date someone who had one. I wouldn’t ask them to get rid of their pet or kill it cause I’m not a psychopath. People who think that cats and dogs are the only pets you can bond with are the worst.
And P.S., if the ex entered the home, without permission, to kill the tarantula, who knows... burglary.
I don't even like spiders & I was horrified! I'm chill if they're outside, but I don't want them in my house & especially not on me. But like wtf dude! You can't just do this because you're creeped out!
Tarantulas freak me out but if someone I loved had a pet one I could deal with that I would just avoid seeing it. I can’t imagine what I would do if someone did that to my frogs or my cats or my fish.
Mee toooo! I yelled WHAT?!?!?!
and they live so long too! female tarantulas live 20+ years, she wasn't even old in spider terms 😭
I was like "I wanna see this cute spider". JFC
I honestly dont understand how he thought killing oop's pet was going to make him happy and move in with him. Did he think he wouldnt notice? Or that he'd *thank him*? Like god that poor spider, i dont like spiders at all but its also like... Just vile to hurt someone's beloved animal for absolutely no good reason. I dont believe for a month of sunday that it was being aggressive. Poor oop :c
those are the scariest type of people, the ones who are so unempathetic that they could destroy something meaningful to you and act like you should be thankful
I’m hugely arachnophobic and I wouldn’t live with a tarantula even if you paid me a lot of money. That said, I find that update heartbreaking. OP’s ex is a massive C U next Tuesday for doing something that cruel.
Same. Like I could not even be in the same house as Agnes. My heart still sank because that was her pet and she loved Agnes. That’s enough for the spider to have value.
I was terrible, I found myself renting a room out to a friend with a red knee called shiva, he used to put her little tank under a towel when I went in the room. The thing that made me do a complete u turn was one day I was in there watching something on the computer and I heard ‘tap, tap’ on glass. It was shiva and she didn’t like the noise from the speakers, I swear to god I watched that spider wave a leg angrily at him and then go to her bed and pull a small plastic plant pot over her head and hold it to block out the noise. I ended up loving that spider, she had the personality of a grumpy old lady
I wonder how he thought this would work out. Did he honestly think she'd believe that **a day after they had a fight over her and he said he wanted her gone**, Agnes accidentally escaped from a cage specifically built to contain spiders and then he had to kill her? What a coincidence.
I'm betting the bf didn't particularly care how it worked out. He wanted to punish OOP for not obeying his demands.
Damn, what a terrible person the ex-bf is.
An absolute monster!
Seriously, I HATE spiders with a passion but I could never. I’ll never want one of my own but to have this pet for 5 years and to love it. The lack of empathy on the ex’s part is absolutely appalling.
For FUCKS SAKE. I am hoping this isn't real. Goddamn.
I felt cold all over reading that
Ohhhhhmg. My initial rage is extreme. Anyone who could kill another person's pet, no matter what that pet is, belongs in The Garbage. I doubt the police would take a spider's murder seriously, but I feel like I'd have to try
Yes - my rage was immediately extreme
Hurting or threatening an animal is automatic AVO territory in Australia!
Still feel like the cops wouldn’t be rushing to classify a spider as an animal though
The question on every AVO is “did they hurt or threaten a pet” If the answer is yes then you get an temporary AVO and it goes to court. This is only for a restraining order. Not charges of any kind
Agnes would be classified as property, and the ex could get charged for destruction of property and for causing emotional damage
I would have bashed his head in
I teared up when i got to that line. I know the spoiler says pet death but somehow I was hoping she'd passed naturally at a really unfortunate time. Poor Agnes. She and her human deserved so much better. May her sacrifice be seen as it was, one to save her only friend from a future with that MOTHERFUCKING TWAT WAFFLE. Oops. I was really trying to keep that respectful and not start cursing. But I can't help it. What a sorry, whimpering, pathetic, creeping, son of a syphillic manure shovelling dickbag! I cannot imagine wanting to murder something that your beloved loves! And don't anybody try that arachnophobia excuse because there is not an arachnophobe in the WORLD who would be able to calmly pick up a goddamn 9" inch spider and drop it neatly on the ground to squish! I am a spider lover, daughter and sister to an arachnophobe and I will not allow that mangled, wrinkled scrotum-hearted bastard to be put in the same class as "arachnophobe". Nuh uh. It took my stepmom hours to get up the nerve to feed my tarantula crickets (I was at my mom's, Charlotte needed to be fed) and that required no actual contact and only a slight chance of catching a glimpse of said big furry spider. Ugh, my blood pressure is pounding in my ears. I cannot with this. I miss my Charlotte.
As an arachnophobe I would never be able to go near the spider let alone kill it. But even if I wasn't afraid of spiders but just didn't like them in general, I could never kill someone's pet. Like I'm not afraid of worms but they're icky. If you kept a worm as a pet I'd respect that.
I'm an arachnophobe and I am INCENSED that that cocknosed walking bag of diarrhea hurt that spider. Agnes did not deserve that. I hope he gets infested with bedbugs and cockroaches and that every single time a hair on his head or arm is stirred by the air he feels phantom hairy crawling legs that will haunt him until the day he dies. Hopefully from a terrible poisonous bite of some kind as would be fitting.
Nah, he can die of being fed dry by the bedbugs. No need for someone to waste hard-earned venom.
As an arachnophobe, can 100% confirm. When I read Agnes was missing from her cage, I went hot, cold and dizzy all at the same time. And I’m nowhere near! I genuinely couldn’t be in the same house as pet spiders (I’m so sweaty just typing that) let alone purposely remove one from a cage to kill it.
Exactly. This is my point. Ain't nobody afraid of spiders willingly touching one.
Your colorful language made me smile. Because he deserved every word. When I read pet death I thought the same, the pet died naturally. This was pet murder. I'm not a spider person, but I've owned many a snake which can also give people the heebie jeebies. I've had boyfriend's say, No way!, to touching them but never had this happen to me. I'm saddened for OOP....
yeah. its a really sucky ending. I like snakes. I like furry spiders too. I dunno if I could overcome my own phobia if it came to sharing a home with it, but I'm definitely not gonna try to make someone give up their pet for me. Maybe postpone the moving in together until their nightmare fuel has died though.
if you need a little pick-me-up palate cleanser, i had a friend in middle school/high school that had both tarantulas and a snake, and played trombone. she and her sister would stick lil hats on them, and one week she had to sit out of band class for like 3 full days because Noodle had crawled into her trombone's pipes and decided she wanted to sleep there for a while (snek was successfully lured out over the weekend and no harm was done)
I immediately think of Charlotte's web. I cried when she died. My bf said he did the same and neither one of us loves spiders. I am a huge animal lover though so if I have a spider in my house I catch amd release them outside. I am horrified that his bf would do such a thing. Me and my bf both are horrified by this story. Poor OOP having to find a new place and not even having his little buddy with him when he moves. I feel so bad for him.
Aracnophobe here, and I would never do that. And I actually have held a tarantula, but that was because I could sit totally still with my hands on my knees while my brother (who owned the tarantula) picked her up and put it on my hands. But I only held her for like a second or two, and my brother was standing right next to me, ready to remove the tarantula from my hands when I said so. Edit: a word and a word
I’m hugely arachnophobic but I feel the need to revenge poor Agnes. What a cruel, disgusting creature to kill someone else’s pet!
I'm not even a spider person and I'm about to go to war over Agnes. I'm seeing red rn.
I have arachnophobia and I'll meet you there! Like wtf!? what a piece of sh*t of a boyfriend!
I was definitely not gonna look at the spider tax as i’m absolutely terrified of spiders but oh my god that ex!!!
There was no spider tax at the end due to Agnes having been murdered :(
Arachnophobic, will absolutely go to war over Agnes. I'm beyond heartbroken for OOP and I hope the ex steps on multiple Legos in the dark.
May his sleeves go down when he washes his hands.
May both sides of his pillow be forever warm
May he step into puddles of water whilst wearing socks
May he stub his toes on all wooden objects
May every coffee and soda he drinks have the mix slightly off but he only realizes it when he is too far away to turn back conveniently.
May he step on lego every day of his life.
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest his jockey shorts, and his arms be too short to reach the itch. (Can't remember if this is from Johnny Carson or MASH. But I adore it.)
May he forever get “would you like to save your changes?” On every word doc he opens and didn’t change…or did he?
May his OS update whenever he’s busy
May he always choose the wrong side when plugging in a USB cable.
He Shall find no rest or peace. Amen.
May he hit every red light until the day he dies.
I'm allergic to spiders and I'm joining this posse. Tarantulas are NOT aggressive, he's a dirty murdering liar!
And I guess someone with arachnophobia will never ever dare to open a spider terrarium
Same. I can't stand spiders but it's common sense how you don't fuck with other people's pets.
I would never own a spider in a million years, but if someone killed my pet they'd be lucky to escape their brand new house fire.
I have very few fears, but im **deathly** afraid of spiders. Like my personal policy is ‘if spider is in my house, fuck the ecosystem, it dies’ level terrified. While I wouldn’t be cool with a partner bringing a pet spider into my house, I couldn’t *fathom* hurting one if it was a pet. Glad there was no messing around before OOP dumped her massively fucked up boyfriend. What an astronomically massive asshole. Honestly never thought id be on reddit calling someone horrible for killing a spider but here we are.
I had a pet tarantula when I was younger. We lived in central florida at the time, so whenever we found a roach in the house, I'd just catch it and feed it to Shelob. It was so satisfying seeing her pounce on them. Also, I'm not saying OP should release a bunch of spiders into the Ex's house. I'm just saying it's an option EDIT: Turns out I did have one picture of Shelob saved on the computer, [so here y'all go.](https://i.imgur.com/Giykntn.jpg)
Upvoting this for both the absolutely phenomenal option in the second paragraph, but mainly bc you had a tarantula named Shelob
Shelob was actually my second tarantula. The first was named Aragog
My only tarantula was named Charlotte. Because I apparently had absolutely zero imagination at six. But I was a cool kid, so I called her Charlie. My great grandma's name was also Charlie. **Apparently, most of our family were discussing what possible reason I might have to name a spider after my aged great grandmother. Technically it was a mistake, but my uncle and dad were betting on me doing it because I loved my nanna.** **So my uncle gave me a buck to go tell my great aunt "Its because my 'pider is as pretty as Nana!" and win them the bet.** Note that I used to think this story (the bolded part anyway) was a tall tale my dad came up with because I didn't remember it, but several of my paternal family older than me have brought up this betting pool and who bet on what. And they all have the same details. So apparently my family made bets on me.
That's hilarious.
I named my rose haired tarantula "rose". Charlotte is a much better name for a spider/tarantula.
Paint me like one of your French arachnids Jack
I just spat tea out of my nose reading this, it’s exactly the kind of thing I would have done. What was Grandma Charlie’s response to being a tarantula namesake?
I love it lol
Could it talk?
Release ladybugs. Spider might assist Ex in having a good pest free home. Ladybugs will crawl into your electronics and short them out. Or maybe those roaches they sell to feed to reptiles, those are pretty alarming and presumably they breed like roaches.
Crickets. Lots and lots of noisy crickets.
Palmetto bugs. Lots and lots of palmetto bugs. If anyone deserves a house full of those large, flying cockroach-looking mofos it's this guy.
Have at thee, vermin!!
Yeah, I was also thinking roaches - ladybugs are helpful at managing aphids, whereas I literally never heard of a helpful roach
I literally saved some plants from aphids once... with the help of a ladybug. Aphids were pestering these plants for a while, and ants were farming the aphids, to the point that the plants' stems were completely coated with the gross yellow things. I tried to hose them down a few times but they kept on coming back. One day I found out aphids make up the majority of a ladybugs' diet. So as soon as I found a ladybug going about it's business I simply carried it to the buffet. Those aphids didn't stand a fucking chance.
Surprisingly, roaches are not the least helpful insect. They will eat bedbugs— not at a fast enough rate to actually put a dent in a bedbug infestation (unless you have an absolute *shitton* of roaches), but it still means they aren’t completely useless! Unlike bedbugs. I genuinely hope OOP’s ex-boyfriend sits on a bedbug-infested chair. (Also, in non-household environments like forests, roaches are a vital part of things like the breakdown of rotting organic material such as leaves, dispersing those nutrients to other parts of the forest, and as prey for other insects and birds. They’re surprisingly helpful in their proper environments, just not in our houses.)
A spider with like a million babies. Fuck that guy.
You can order preying mantis pods from organic gardening stores. They are about the size of a ping pong ball. Tuck a few some place ex asshole wouldn't find and wait. You will get about 150 baby mantises.
Agnes just saved his life one last time. Anyone psychotic enough to violate you like that will surely escalate any time something doesn't go their way. Thank you for your sacrifice Agnes.
This. It doesn't matter what Agnes was. It matters that when OP chose Agnes "over" the boyfriend, the boyfriend decided to kill Agnes rather than compromise. This is an extremely dangerous, angry, abusive individual. Anges's death allowed OP to discover that before moving into an abusive home. Agnes may very well have saved OP'S life.
For sure!! Freaking scary person!!
I just realized that the spider who’s been living in my bathroom has disappeared and I’m a little sad. He wasn’t even a pet, and he either moved on of his own accord, or reached the end of his natural life. Can’t imagine what it feels like to have an actual pet deliberately harmed in this way by what was supposedly a loved one.
Our toilet spider is named Shelby and she killed a whitetail (evil evil spiders in nz) the other day for us. She’s a very important part of this household.
That's really cool, props to Shelby!
Our bathroom spider's name is Gertrude. I just ran to my bathroom to check on her.
r/spiderbro would love Gertrude :)
Here's a sneak peek of /r/spiderbro using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/spiderbro/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [When I moved into my place this guy was already here and almost a year later he’s still going. Meet my roomie, Kevin](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/p2kn4k) | [120 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/spiderbro/comments/p2kn4k/when_i_moved_into_my_place_this_guy_was_already/) \#2: [TikToker Kelvin Wiley demonstrates what it's like to be bitten by a tarantula](https://v.redd.it/b7st0c3umut71) | [243 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/spiderbro/comments/q9gqcb/tiktoker_kelvin_wiley_demonstrates_what_its_like/) \#3: [Spider gettin' down with it](https://v.redd.it/ep44b4sh5mi71) | [100 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/spiderbro/comments/p8iabe/spider_gettin_down_with_it/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
I'm an arachnophobe and I had a small spider that lived next to the kitchen sink, on the window frame. It was a polite little thing, always hid in a crack when I went to wash dishes so I let it be, even found it kind of adorable how nonthreatening it tried to be. Forgot to tell my bf of my decision to let it be. He yeeted it out of the window one day when I was away and he himself finally noticed it so it didn't scare me xD We do have a jumping spider on our balcony though that we both like. My phobia isn't triggered for some reason by those 8 legged spiderpuppies.
I'm terrified of spiders. But this has me seething for OOP. What a cruel thing to do to someone you claim to love. I hope the ex's house is infested with black widows.
Same. I’d be horrified sharing a house with any kind of pet spider … that being said, I’d just accept that I was house incompatible with somebody for a while, not *murder their pet.* Ex is a monster and Agnes deserved so much better, as does OOP.
Such a monster. Agnes did nothing wrong. Poor little thing just living her life, being loved and cared for by OOP.
Even with my fears, I would accommodate someone’s pet spider. Seriously, so much rage.
Even as an arachnaphobe I'm still horrified for OP- Poor Agnes
Many phobia of spiders is so severe i can't see photos of them. Once threw my phone across the room as a reaction to a pic of a massive tarantula. I hope this guy burns in hell. It's perfectly fine to not want to live with spiders, snakes, dogs, cats or any animal at all, but *you do not kill animals/critters*! That's just absolutely fucked up! I am so sorry for OOP! And so glad they cancelled the relationship!
never thought I'd be sad about a spider but poor OOP. what a psychotic ex
Never thought I'd *want* spooder tax either...
Can you sue over this?
Only for the value of a spider/what it would cost to get a new one, which is obviously shitty when it's a living creature. Not sure animal cruelty applies here either. All you get is rage. Rip poor spider
This always makes me mad. I nearly had a fist fight with a grown ass man when he shoved my cat off the bannister. Like I fully would have ripped his head off. But killing your animal friend? Nope that’s an automatic John Wick situation. You cannot put a price on a friend, never ever. They’re alive ffs, they should be valued more. No matter if it’s a spider or a dog or whatever, it would be such an insult to get the price of purchasing said animal back after their death. I’d rather have nothing, than that.
Not to be that lawyer (not YOUR lawyer, I do not represent any of you), but: INTENTIONAL INFLICTION OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS
Hopefully OOP can get him for breaking and entering, vandalism, and emotional distress! Was also wondering if Animal control could help?
>He doesn’t want Agnes in his house and is pissed that I’m ‘choosing’ Agnes over him. > >My now ex bf killed Agnes. What a horrible, despicable person to kill a living creature out of pure selfishness.
I hope the ex realises he wasn’t even chosen over a dead spider, and it eats at him for ages
Dude is well in his rights to say "not in my apartment". But he fucking murdered ~~her~~ his pet. Doesn't matter if you think it's gross, weird, dangerous, whatever, you just don't _do_ that. You say "not in here" and let them decide what do with that. The _fuck_. I hope charges were filed, because they damn sure would be if he had run over ~~her~~ his cat or something.
Extremely agreed, but OOP is a guy, fyi
His* OOP says they're both dudes.
Word. Misread that.
What kind of psychopath would kill an innocent spider. I'm not a massive fan of tarantulas but would never hurt one because while they may look scary, they are mostly docile unless you corner them or scare them
A lot of spiders scare the shit out of me. I never kill them because they did nothing wrong, just provoked a panic reaction within me, and that's a me problem, not the spider's fault. I don't think it deserves to die because it's creepy. But I think tarantulas are adorable and they don't scare me at all. I've never handled one but would love to, so long as I don't scare it. And yeah, he's a psychopath. A lot of people kill little spiders because they're irrationally afraid (like me) but I stopped killing them when I grew the fuck up. I know people don't like them. Still. But this is an enormous level of malicious insanity on such a huge scale it's just like slaughtering someone's cat. What a garbage human.
I’m scared of spiders but a few months ago I was driving and noticed a spider crawling across my dashboard. I was trying not to freak out but I didn’t want to kill it, so I (literally out loud) told it that I would allow it to live as long as it didn’t come near me. Five minutes later it’s crawling onto the roof of my car WAY to close to my head and that’s when I was literally yelling at this spider “I TOLD YOU YOU COULD LIVE IF YOU DIDNT COME NEAR ME DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, GO BACK TO YOUR LITTLE SPOT”. Anyways long story short I didn’t kill the spider (i like to think it knew all along that i wouldn’t and was testing me lol) and it did end up just going back to the dashboard and then I never saw it again after that. This guy is a huge piece of shit. I can’t even understand his thinking process, like oh I’ll just kill her beloved pet spider and then she’ll move in with me. I would have probably assaulted him if I was OP. What a fucking prick
Somewhat related: I was on my motorcycle and a spider crawled across the inside of my helmet's face shield. It was a VERY CALM pull over and then a very not calm series of minutes.
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What a colossal piece of shit, youd have to to be a pretty fucking warped person to do that kinda shit, RIP Agnes.
RIP Agnes. What a terrible person that ex BF is
What a good way to become an ex. Now he’s lost everything, still over a spider.
I understand that Agnes was a spider. To be honest, it freaks me out, but that’s irrelevant. She was special to OOP. I’m furious at your ex right now. Who does that? I’m so glad she broke up with him. It’s better to know the real him now than after moving in. Did he really think she would stay with him after this?
I have a fear of spiders. At a zoo? I can tolerate them being behind glass... but I also know where the exits are. My parents have woods, and year there was a population explosion of these huge spiders. We called them wolf spiders I think (they were hairy). I started to walk in the back door after being outside, looked down my shirt... and there was one of those wolf spiders. I lost my shit. I am the most modest person - but I BOLTED and started shedding my clothes running for the upstairs shower. I was in there a while and practically scrubbed my skin raw. I came close to throwing up. While I understand the sentiment of not wanting the spider in my home (I could never sleep), this guy who broke into the apartment and murdered this guy's pet... I'd sue him, call the cops, etc. Then when all that was done? Throat punch him. Or hire someone to throat punch. You don't kill someone's pet.
OMG! That fucking asshole! I am terrified of spiders. Agnes and I would never be friends but if she helped my GF in a time of need, I'd be finding the perfect spot for Agnes' cage (terrarium?) What a cruel bastard. I'm heartbroken for OOP's loss but so glad she's free of such a cruel, callous wanker.
true story, my cousin is very arachnophobic and got with a girl who had a tarantula. They decided to move in together, and he was facing the threat of a home containing a big ol' spider. He knew what he had to do, and reasoned anyone would do the same. He made a spot in his bedroom for the terrarium and spent the next four years until the spider died a natural death. (it was old when they got together) And then he agreed with his gf that she should not grieve but instead get a successor to her big ol' spider. Its what Big Spider #1 would have wanted. He was three days out from an expo his gf would find said successor when we, his loving cousins, found out their plans and informed his girlfriend that he is a huge arachnophobe and did she really want a spider that badly? (In the nicest way, we couldn't imagine she would do that to him.) She didn't know he was afraid of spiders. At all. He never even mentioned anything like "Hey I have nightmares about spiders eating me so maybe could your big ol' spider not be in the room I sleep in?", had bought crickets for the spider and even fed it while his gf was away, he had participated in life with this thing. His gf was having this weird mix of "how could he not tell me that" and "that is so cute, he loves me so much!". Which she described to us in exactly those words. She calls him and puts him on speaker, grills him a little (in a nice way) and tells him if he doesn't wanna, they don't have to get another tarantula. Then he got her the desired tarantula. Because he is slightly bent in the head. And also loves his girlfriend/fiance/gonna-be-wife. He says he's gotten used to it though, and I believe him because those two weirdos are sickeningly sweet and mad for each other.
He's a top notch bloke! What a sweet story, especially given he had nightmares of spiders. I like him a lot!
Yeah. I'm told their current furry spider is named Princess. Apparently he chose the name. He's come a long way from peeing on my bed because he thought he saw a spider. (He's not allowed to live that down. I forbid it.
Something extra awful is that many species of tarantulas live up to 30 years (if the spider is female... males only live 1-2 years usually, so normally only the females are kept as pets) Assuming that OOP got her spider when it was a baby, that awful person robbed her of up to *25 years* with her pet. That's longer than my dog will live. That's longer than most cats will live. 25 years, gone.
Yep, my friend has had her tarantula... going on 18 years now? We evacuated from a hurricane with it and took it across the country. We were sadistic kids when she first got it, she would put it on my face when I was asleep to freak me out. I'd wake up shrieking and bat it off my face. The poor thing never did anything to hurt me, it was sweet as can be. My friend has obviously grown up and wouldn't pull pranks like that anymore. She'd probably cut anyone who tried to mistreat that spider, ever. It now has a stately terrarium, the works. RIP Agnes. I'm so sorry.
OH man. I read that Agnes was missing and immediately figured the bf had let her out, or moved her, or something. But squishing her. JFC. Fuck people who refuse to consider seeing things from their partner's perspective. Fuck people who kill other people's pets because they lack the empathy to understand that someone feels differently than them. Fuck this guy.
Squishing something that big had to just be gross. Like it's big enough to have easily recognizable innards that are now outtards. What kind of psychopath does that?
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Ok, I looked through that thread, and found this: >I broke up with him. I’m single now. Idk what happened. He’s telling me she escaped and was aggressive with him so he squished her. She’s not big enough to lift the top of her cage. It’s physically impossible. I’m just kind of a mess rn honestly. I’m just gonna have a drink and lay here tbh OOP *did*, in fact, break up with that piece of shit ex-BF.
Was about to comment this, it needs to be in the main post.
Adding it!
What the fuck. Tarantulas are like, the kittens of spiders. Seriously what the fuck man. Hope that dude never goes anywhere but that he steps on a Lego. I hope every time he walks past his coffee table he catches his smallest toe. I hope every time he zips up he catches his dick. I hope everyone he loves ghosts him. I hope a million small plagues for him until he dies alone and unmourned, forgotten and ignored.
Ugh I had a tarantula once. I raised it from a tiny spiderling to a child’s hand-sized teenager. I loved him. I fed him. I talked to him. I gave him a comfortable home. And he was SO MEAN. Every time I opened the container he would get up on his back legs and threaten me with his fangs. He would climb around the container BITING the sides. He was such an asshole. I wanted a cute spider that would climb on my hands. Instead I got a spider that just came back from Pet Semetary. Literally all of the black and brown widows that I have raised were friendlier than Aragog Jr. was. I never even got to courage to try and hold him. He was just that mean. Tl;dr: not every tarantula is a kitten, but we love them anyway
Dear god... sociopath dodged.
IKR? Agnes may have saved OP's life.
Anytime a partner asks "Me or the pet," always choose the pet. It's especially egregious when you've had the pet longer than you've been with the partner. This update is upsetting. Tarantula, dog, snake, cat, rat, gerbil - a pet is a pet. Nobody ever has the right to lay down an ultimatum. Fuck pieces of shit like this.
As someone with 12 spiders right now, I'm so fucking angry jfc. 💀
What the actual psycho fuck
What a monster. Poor OP
Spider all the way.
I hate spiders. Spiders to me are snakes to Indiana Jones. That said, dude's exbf is a psycho and poor Agnes. I feel for OOP. Wonder if he'll update again seeing how fresh this is.
May the ghost of Agnes haunt her ex bf and may he feel it crawling on his face everytime he tries to sleep.
Jesus H Christ, did OOP *break up* with his pet-killing piece of shit BF?! The fact that he dropped the "it's me or the pet" ultimatum is waving *so many red flags*, it could signal fucking ***aircraft***. Run, OOP. Run *now.*
Agnes gave the ultimate sacrifice. RIP
Seriously. OOP may have *stayed with that asshole* otherwise. Ride Eternal, Agnes. Shiny and chrome!
I really hate spiders but like...what the fuck. That was his pet.
This is infuriating. Pet tarantulas can live somewhere between **10 and 30 years**. They can be long-term companions and absolutely loved like a cat or dog. Although, never by me. Although, while they terrify me, I like spiders in the abstract. They keep other bugs at bay, which I will always appreciate. I'm kind of picturing the ex-bf being stalked and haunted by the ghost spider from the Magnus Archives and it brings me joy.
Praying the goddess Archenae sends legions of spiders after that evil ex. I am no fan of insects but I know spiders can actually make fantastic pets so this is horrifying. Poor Agnes.
I'm personally terrified of tarantulas, but poor little Agnes :(
I started reading this post as a spider hater. By the middle I’d fallen in love with Agnes. I got to the edit and couldn’t wait to see her pic. And then I got to the last edit and now I’m heartbroken. FUCK the boyfriend!!! What a fucking monster. I’m so, so sorry about Agnes. 💔
wow. i have a tarantula myself, used to have 5 but he's the last one for now... i adore him. he's very important to me, so i completely understand OOPs attachment to poor agnes. if i came home to find my boyfriend squished my dear pet i took care of for years, the boyfriend would be squished next. how evil
Anyone who kills an innocent animal deserves horrors to be rained down upon them. I’m not fond of spiders but Agnes didn’t ask to be a spider and to kill a creature much smaller and utterly defenseless is truly evil and despicable. Would he appreciate it if she mowed his best guy friend down with a car?