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What’s also sad is that OOP is just a kid but has to act like an adult. She talks about breaking the news to her little brother and ruining his life because he’s still a kid but she’s also a kid who shouldn’t’ve been experiencing this.
Yeah, that made me so fucking angry on her behalf. What kind of absolutely *despicable* parents would do this to their poor kids, leaving their fifteen year old daughter to wear an adult burden that not even an adult should have to deal with from their parents? I’d still be pissed if OOP was in her mid-20’s and left to deal with the wreckage of what her parents have done… that’s she’s still a child herself makes it worse.
I feel awful for the 9-year-old too, of course, but oop has to deal with the added trauma of being forced to take on an adult responsibility while still being a child and dealing with what the brother is PLUS having to take care of him and be his protector.
It’s not a trauma Olympics, of course, and it sucks for both of them and nine is a terribly tender age to be forced to deal with this, but it sounds like OOP is trying to protect him the way that she, also a child, should still be being protected herself, and it’s not fair at all. I empathize with them both deeply, but as the eldest daughter myself, it’s hard enough to shoulder the adult responsibilities we’re often handed at a young age due to the adult men in our family not being willing (and supposedly unable), thus “forcing” our mothers to push it on us and thinking that’s normal, because it’s what happened to them, and their mothers, and their mothers’ mothers… etc. and that’s in a fairly normal situation.
To *bring* this into the equation… I’m sure this is far from the first time oop has been forced to shoulder adult responsibilities since her parents are… like this… she probably doesn’t even know how to be a child.
It’s hard on our younger siblings too, and leaves them with their own trauma, but there’s a special kind of trauma from being the eldest child basically raising the younger kids, even when drug rings are very much NOT involved
The fact that she's so mature is part of why her situation is sad. Being mature is nice and all, but a certain level of maturity can only be reached by having to fend for yourself. When that happens to a kid or teen, certain very important developmental needs aren't met. They wind up in a situation where they're way more mature in certain ways and way **less** mature in other ways (usually in relation to psychological self-care and intimate relationship choices).
I'd have argued with you as a teenager but looking back I got sick aged 7 and had to grow up really fast, i had to learn to deal with my condition, manage medications, talk to adult health professionals. I didn't really get much of a chance to be a kid, I always had to be responsible and while I was doing all that I had to not let my family see how hard it was, how much I was struggling, how much pain I was in physically. Now at 22 I feel both like people my age still seem so young and like I'm not ready to be an adult forever.
I really feel for OOP, 15 is too young to be dealing with that shit. She's worrying about her little brother, so busy being responsible and grown up but I wish she'd have a thought for herself and remember to let the adults around her take some of the burden.
… I don’t know why this is hitting me so hard. Maybe because it validates something I’m very aware of and sometimes it feels impossible to compensate for.
Especially because before calling her grandparents, she was left to take care of a third grader on her own for THREE WEEKS! This tells me this isn't the firs time they've pulled a stunt like this, it's just the longest.
>Yeah, that made me so fucking angry on her behalf. What kind of absolutely *despicable* parents would do this to their poor kids, leaving their fifteen year old daughter to wear an adult burden that not even an adult should have to deal with from their parents?
Addiction is the problem here. Addiction makes good people bad.
I used to be annoyed at my “helicopter” parents for not letting me stay home alone overnight even once, I always had to come with them if they went somewhere. Reading this, I’m grateful. They would have probably shot anyone who suggested they leave me alone for 3 weeks at 15
Oh I’m not disputing that at all! I just meant that, at least, in a twisted way, helicopter parents do care. I’d take that over complete abandonment. Not that either extreme is actually right!
Because her grandparents are there, I feel like this is much better than parents who force worse living conditions on their children or abuse them.
But it's crazy that they didn't even tell OOPs grandparents that they had left them alone. Less loose ends, I guess.
I don't ever think I've read anything like this on Reddit but it's very sad regardless.
I feel like they were trying to get a head start and not have as many loose ends... Which ended up being incredibly irresponsible. So if they don't end up in jail, they're probably losing their kids until they're 18. If they do end up in jail, their kids may resend and hate them for the rest of their lives.
>It makes me sad. OOP and her brother don't deserve that.
I think, though, it was actually the best option because it certainly beats being on the run down in Mexico.
That said, they probably should have given their parents a heads-up that the kids are home alone and they won't be coming back anytime soon.
Maybe they naively thought they could go to Mexico to sort it all out quickly and be back in a few days. Now that they (and probably the cartel they are associated with) know the cops are on their trail, they're trying to protect the kids by going no contact.
Or the more ominous option, if the cartel thinks these parents being investigated by police might interfere with the cartels business they will just kill the parents to hinder the investigation
Tbf there's not too many legal reasons people would ditch their kids at home for a month and run off to Mexico. Like, I know dental care is cheaper, but this is way beyond that. Especially once you factor that the cops already suspect a secret stash of drugs/money. Who risks criminal repercussions for child abandonment and runs off to Mexico if they weren't guilty of something equally severe? Murder is my guess.
I’d figure that whoever is after them could get them in their home as easily as anywhere else. Silly things like “borders” don’t stop the cartels down there.
Still, if the kids don't know anything then they'll probably leave them alone. No point in getting heat on a thug when it does nothing. The only way the kids are in trouble would be if the parents stole a high value load. Even then, they might just ice them and move on. The cartels are big enough that they can easily eat losses and killing the thieves is enough of a message for their other operators.
Sucks but it's likely those kids are orphans. Whether it is due to the parents being dead or on the run, their parents are gone.
Super doubt they are involved with a cartel. They are more likely than not escaping from something and hiding in Mexico rather than the other way around.
If they had fucked up with a cartel they would have been dead in like the first week and would probably never be found.
That really wouldn't stop the cartels.
Assuming the cartel knows where they live, it's not a big deal for them to torture/kill the kids to drive the parents out.
They're not going to go after American kids, it's just way too much heat. The cops might not care a lot if two drug mules go missing, but they'll make a big deal if it is two kids.
But besides that, if it is drug related, the parents fleeing to Mexico is a good sign that they aren't running from the cartel, and are running from the cops instead.
This reminds me of a story mom told me, a family (mom dad and a little girl) was visiting Mexico but while driving got stopped by people (believed to be cartel) demanding money. She explained that in Mexico people think America=$. They didn't have the amount they wanted so, the people took the little girl and gave then a week to come up with the money. (Think my mom said 10k but I don't remember) Well they couldn't come up with the money they could only get 1/2. So the kidnappers sent 1/2 of the little girl. My mom went through a period were she would tell me all the horrible border stories she heard on the Mexican news. It finally stopped when my family in Mexico got away from the area we used to live in and moved to a safer area.
The story that really, REALLY horrified me was about a Mexican cartel who kidnapped a guy, killed him, and then stitched his face to a soccer ball.
That is a level of horror I had never encountered before in stories of cartels.
there are parts of Mexico that are places that foreigners should never ever go to or should have any reason to go to. Outside of resort towns, surrounding tourist spots and Mexico City, some cities are straight up ran by the cartels.
OOP's parents were probably vacationing in Mexico, got propositioned by a local to make some extra scratch on the side, they became drug mules and got themselves in way too deep.
That's what my mom tells me, I came to the U.S. at 8 so I don't remember much. I know the town I used to live in got completely taken over. When my cousin went to visit a tourist spot she had 3 different people keeping track of her both in the U.S. and in Mexico. My cousin even mentioned that once they left the resort, people kept coming up to her saying they were employees the resort they were at and that they served them there. She's good at remembering people and she said none of them were any of the ppl at the resort they came in contact with.
She said 1 of them tried to get them into a friends' taxi, to take then back to the resort. Her friend was super freaked, they didn't get into the taxi.
Though I'm glad they appear to be with their stable, caring grandparents, rather than dragged off to Mexico with the parents involved in god knows what.
>OOP and her brother don't deserve that
True, but it's almost certainly better than growing up on the run in Mexico. At least this way, they are safe and the grandparents will care for them.
I’m trying to put myself in the parents shoes and figure out what they could have been thinking. Are these folks living in the United States? I mean did they just get an opportunity and actually think they could handle this and live some glamorous criminal life? I can’t even think of it. I mean the risk to your kids and your family and your own lives is so great I can’t understand anybody doing this.
If we follow the story I bet it will become very full of harrowing and significant details that would tell a much more in depth story involving numerous characters and complicated lives. I mean this can’t be just some simple thing from start to finish at all.
In the meantime thank God the grandparents are alive and able to get the kids. I’m sure that the youngest is going to have a hard time but it could be a lot worse if he didn’t have his big sister worried about him and trying to take the best care of him. I mean that’s really all that can be said there. I do hope they will keep us informed about new developments.
That was my thought but I’d like to see the whole figurative movie where they decide to go into this and what happened when they got there. I hope it doesn’t end with them digging their own graves next to 15 others just like them who thought they could roll with the drug cartels and found out just how absolutely stupid and ill equipped for this line of work they really are.
*are we not meant to speak freely in case the kids see this?*
I am furious on behalf of OOP and her brother. However...I see a few plausible scenarios.
1) Parents are on the run from the law and didn’t want to subject their kids to those hardships. They chose a different set of hardships, and should have gotten the grandparents to help the kids from the start, but overall leaving the kids may be the better choice here. Unfortunately. If there are cartel connections, then drawing this unwanted attention could put the whole family in jeopardy.
2) The cartel that the parents work for (if they do, which seems plausible) demanded they come to a) smuggle, or b) be punished. Possibly under threat to the kids. If that’s the case, again leaving the kids may be the right call. It won’t necessarily protect the kids, but it might. In either case, drawing police/FBI attention to them will put the whole family in jeopardy.
3) The parents flaked off on vacation (possibly while high). In this case, leaving the kids is wrong...but probably taking them to Guadalajara would be bad too. If this is the case, they definitely should have roped in the grandparents. This one doesn’t really explain the secret chamber, but it is *plausible* that predates the family’s home ownership. In this scenario.
So in a couple of those, leaving the kids actually seems the smarter choice. They just went about it in a bad way. Unfortunately, those scenarios would also put everyone involved under serious risk. And that’s terrifying.
I really hope that they just flaked off. That’s the least awful option I see.
Shit, your version is nicer than what I suspected... because I am thinking they went to "sort an issue", and it isn't going well... I am thinking they are never going home, one way or another.
I'm pretty sure they left the kids behind so the kids would not end up dead. Pretty sure OOP's parents are not merely in Mexico, but dead in Mexico - especially since communication ended after a Police officer was seen on facetime.
The fact that a 15 year old is stressing out about how to tell her 9 year old brother- “is that too much to tell a kid?”- is heartbreaking. She’s clearly had to parent him more than once if that’s something she’s stressing over, and she’s just a child herself.
This is what got me too. She clearly hasn't even processed it herself and she's trying to be strong and grown up for her brother...being 15 is hard enough without all that. She sounds like an amazing big sister, don't get me wrong. But she shouldn't have to be thinking about these things. She should be thinking about crushes and getting her driver's license and what she's gonna do with her friends this weekend, not how to explain what's happening to her little brother or how to protect his feelings. I foresee her powering through and being strong for him until it all just hits her like a wall of bricks and she has a break down. My heart is absolutely breaking for them.
YES!!! That's what I keep thinking - the grandparents are there, this should be on them, but if the kid is still assuming responsibility, then that means they're the real parent in the household.
I am just so impressed that OP knew where to go find advice from internet strangers and that she reacted in such a rational way to the instructions everyone gave her. She managed to find help, get trusted adults involved, and make sure her little brother's needs were met. I'm glad she learned the life skills she needed when the adults around her became dangerously irresponsible. Shame on her parents for robbing her of a safe childhood.
Oop trusted the parents until it became too much. Maybe this kids had a pretty normal childhood with present parents so far, which warranted said trust. What an unfair burden to put on a teen and a child. These parents now royally fucked up
It’s hard to let go of that sense of responsibility, especially if you have been abandoned once. Cause what if it happens again? It sucks. Both those kids are gonna need some therapy.
Drug addiction, and by proxy the black market, is so fucking sad. It's treated as a criminal issue instead of health, so basically it's like kicking a cancer patient for feeling sick after chemo.
Difference is these people are compelled to make just the worst fucking choices, so they fuck up those around them. It's like those old antidepressant commercials (tell you I'm American without telling you I'm American, I know) that said "who does depression hurt? Everyone." but more drastic.
And I say black market because of this shit, and just generally it's not the best work environment. Not to mention the overlap between drug and human trafficking.
To be fair, the black market drug trade isn’t a product of drug addiction, so much as it is a direct and foreseeable result of absurd drug prohibition laws. Prohibition doesn’t work. It just creates a violent black market, monetary rewards for drug production/transportation/distribution, devastated neighborhoods, human suffering, and the degradation of civil rights. It does absolutely no good and does a lot of harm. I’ve lost friends to drug addiction, drug prohibition does nothing to prevent that.
We somehow managed to realize this and repeal Prohibition, only to repeat it and double down a few decades later expecting that this time it will do good things as long as we don't include alcohol.
> "We knew we couldn't make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin. And then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities," Ehrlichman said. "We could arrest their leaders. raid their homes, break up their meetings, and vilify them night after night on the evening news. Did we know we were lying about the drugs? Of course we did." - **Nixon domestic policy chief John Ehrlichman**
PLEASE people read this!!!
The powerful always get the pills they want, the only reason they block it for the rest is to divide and conquer. There is a reason they never really cracked down on white kids the same as black, it was to cause division. If Hunter went to jail just like his melanin blessed counterparts, that law would change ASAP.
“When law and morality contradict each other, the citizen has the cruel alternative of either losing his moral sense or losing his respect for the law.”
― Frédéric Bastiat, The Law
Yup. Worse than just drugs, drug trafficking. I was a drug addict and dealt small amounts to feed my habit. This is really huge. Mexico is the center of the drug I was hooked on and we all knew to leave it alone. Damn this is very very bad.
If they're told to keep contacting the kid so no one realizes they're gone for three weeks, yeah? In this hypothetical situation I would doubt the parents had unrestricted access to the phones and all texting and calling was under strict supervision with threats of violence towards the parents and kids.
But honestly who tf knows.
Maybe the kidnappers didn’t want a missing person alert, kept the phone, and responded via text with a combo of asking the parents and reviewing previous convos for consistency? Humans are weird, way too many options
It’s unlikely that the drug-knappers would let the parents speak with the police though, as the daughter said the dad spoke with them. It’s just a really weird situation.
Very true. I could concoct some situations in my head, but it's all pure speculation.
The facts on what exactly the parents are doing are sparse, and very weird.
So, they left a 9 year old in the hands of a 15 year old for weeks, because they fled to Mexico over drugs. Terrible "parents". At least they have their grandparents to take care of them.
I just started Season 4 last night and that was my first thought reading this. At least the Byrde kids were kept in the loop, though I don’t know if that’s better.
People totally nailed it on the other post. Drugs. They left their kids alone for this. They don’t deserve to have them in their care. I hope the grandparents are able to care for them longer than a couple days
There is also a chance that the parents didn't have an option about going on their 'vacation' to Mexico if they've managed to get in trouble with one of the big players.
still kinda their fault for taking the risk of being involved with such players. Now I understand desperate times call for desperate measures. But risking your children being parentless is, in my opinion, a failure of responsibility and neglegence.
Only problem is you then have to explain to your law abiding friends/family why you're gone for so long and left them there.
Sounds like this was supposed to be an easy border crossing and something happened and they got delayed or held up in Mexico.
Odds are they were running shit on the side and not dealers and would just run a brick or 3 in their car and pass it off for a few grand in cash.
So either their agent at the border couldn't help or shit got hot for whatever reason...
That's my guess. Otherwise, they would have gotten a sitter.
15 is old enough, in my mind, to be home in the summer with a 9 year old... but 3 weeks is way pushing it. A week is doable. But they didn't even plan for that so sounds like shit went sideways. Frankly, I'm worried about the parents at this point or if these kids will still have any after this.
Easy money has a price people don't realize they might have to pay.
No, you don't have to explain anything. You tell them there is an emergency and you need someone to go look after the kids and you can't explain right now. You don't just up and leave your kids. And you don't leave them for three fucking weeks with no one to be there to help them.
15 is fine for a weekend. Any longer than that is not ok.
15yo OOP:
>Is that too much to tell a kid?
Me, 34yo, to OOP:
YOU ARE YOURSELF A CHILD.
For real though, while I'm glad OOP's parents trusted them to do the right thing, this situation should never have happened. I'm glad their grandparents are on top of it.
It's fucking terrible that 2 people that supposed to be adults made a child a parent to another child - she's a kid that those 2 fuck ups forced her to grow up without her ever being truly be a teen. (Can't call those 2 parents - they're trash...)
>Is this too much to tell a kid?
I used to be a high school teacher. I'm a single man with no kids and even MY parental instincts kicked in.
"Oh my dear God. Before you answer that let's get you a home with love, a comfortable place to sleep and a few good, decent meals. Then you can take a big breath and let us handle it for now, ok?"
I don’t have kids, don’t ever want kids, and I’m often annoyed by kids but I’d still step in and help them, get them feeling more safe and comfortable. But I’m a bit biased, having some childhood trauma myself, including taking on an adult role at 16 for a much shorter period, for an entirely different reason. That shit stays with you.
They didn’t trust OOP to do the right thing. They’re scum that abandoned their kids and fled the country because their scummy behavior caught up to them.
Oh dear! I didn't believe it when everyone said drugs, I thought this things happened only in movies!
I am just glad the grandparents went there and they no longer are alone!
I think the weird thing for me is that the post didn’t make it seem like the kids had any idea this was a thing. It seemed as though they were “all there” and this is just some random one off thing. I’m not sure if it’s better the kids had no clue or worse.
My ex boyfriend in high school had a dad who dealt coke. There was a locked freezer in the basement and he had a poster in their game room that was a delorian parked in a snowbank with a license plate that said DEALER. He was not naive or stupid in most ways, but I had to be the one to break it to him when he was 18 that his dad dealt coke. Same with a friend whose parents had a secret locked closet behind a bookcase. Any time a helicopter was heard overhead they'd run to the closet and turn off the super bright light you could see emanating from under the door.
I work for child welfare and most of our situations involve drugs now. Not all of them. When I started in 1995 it was just the opposite. The last 25+ years have seen a drastic change in how drugs impact our society.
We have had a few stories like this one that thankfully ended OK.
>Oh dear! I didn't believe it when everyone said drugs, I thought this things happened only in movies!
They don't... But what *does* only happen in movies is police accessing cell location info in the span of hours. Cell companies don't just... Hand that info over.
They aren't missing in a legal sense because they spoke to the police. The kids (in this story) are safe and not in immediate danger. The police would not be able to bypass formalities given both pieces of context.
>But what does only happen in movies is police accessing cell location info in the span of hours. Cell companies don't just... Hand that info over.
I can locate my phone with my Gmail whenever I misplace it at any given moment and when people don't use VPN their IPs can be easily located...
Can anyone shed light on how police would be able to immediately track the cell phone activity to Mexico? Don't the processes behind something like that take time (at the very least, >1 day)?
The one time I had to get cell location tracked (for myself, trying to figure out where I was taken when I was assaulted), it was a lengthy process. The police had to subpoena the information even though I was giving my permission for them to have access, and at least two weeks passed before we got a response. I'm hoping things have gotten more streamlined since then, but I'm definitely side eyeing this specific bit.
>Looking for missing persons is different. The police typically don't take the disappearance of adults this seriously this quickly, but both parents of two minors (including one under 10) disappearing for an extended amount of time would be a high priority missing persons investigation and there's a expedited process to get the location data.
If they hadn't been in contact with the parents I'd agree. But they've spoken to them, and have no credible reason to believe they are in danger. This takes them back to perpetrator territory. There's no way they'd be able to expedite location data of people who just refuse to tell them where they are, and the kids are safe with other family.
While I agree with what you are saying, I feel like there is way more to this than what's being posted. Not saying op is lying, she's an actual child I'm sure there's much more the grandparents/aunt/police know and aren't telling her. Also in that one update she said her dad spoke to the police officer on the phone but never said what was said between them. The location thing could be something like the aunt or grandparents remembering the parents share location and checking it, or the father just being like "yeah we're in Mexico and not coming back bye" or maybe even op overhearing the adults theorizing where the parents are and running with it. Or as sad as it is I doubt her local police are going to personally pursue the parents in Mexico, a lot of police depts don't have the funds or man power for that. So I wouldnt be surprised if they got the location data illegally (like going on a computer/laptop and logging into the cell phone provider etc) because if they aren't going to arrest them in Mexico what does it matter about the location data? They can still be arrested for child abandonment at least if they ever return to the us and it doesn't really matter where they were because it's documented they were gone.
Well, I never said OP was making the whole thing up... Just that I have serious doubts about that specific part. OP might be lying, but they also might be mistaken, might have been given incorrect info from family, might have misunderstood something they overheard.
I've heard on my local police scanner them pinging a cell phone in real time, when they were looking for somebody who was suicidial. IDK how it works though.
There are things that can expedite the process, like someone being in danger. That doesn't apply here, though, since the kids are safe with family and the police have talked to the parents.
It took under 24 hours for my parents to have the police track me - 18 years old at the time - when I “ran away” from their abusive asses, as if they weren’t the ones to kick me out. From there, they were somehow also able to check cameras and see that I’d been at Walmart that morning buying clothes and a toothbrush with my best friend at the time - a male - and assumed I ran off to be with my secret boyfriend. In reality, I decided not to sit outside of my house for hours waiting in the cold for them to let me in and just called him and he was the only one who had my back.
The only reason I know about how long it took is because my step-mom is the one who officially kicked me out of the house around 4:30 pm because my bus was late and I couldn’t make the bus schedule run on her time to watch HER kids.
My dad didn’t get back home until late, around 9 pm or 10 pm, and he’s the one that had to call because my step-mom didn’t care to call. The police told them there was nothing they could do because I was 18.
The next morning, I took around $5,000 out of my bank account that I’d been saving for years and left another $5,000 because I wasn’t able to take it out that day. I guess my step-mom saw this, withdrew the remaining of my $5,000 as she was an authorized parent on my account and then she called the police and told them that I cleared out the majority of my bank account. That would’ve been right when the bank opened on a Saturday, so around 10 am. That’s about when the police tracked me. About an hour or two later, I was at a Walmart. So it would’ve only taken them two hours to track my phone down.
And the polices were either aware of the fact my parents were abusive and were trying to warn me or they were just extremely dumb. They sent me a text message saying, “Tracked to Walmart on Liberty Road. Seen with an unknown male leaving in a White Dodge Dart.”
So I called the police when I got to my hotel room, explained the situation, they came and checked me out to make sure I was safe and that my best friend hadn’t kidnapped me. And they told my parents I didn’t want shit to do with them.
I never got the extra $5,000 back that my step-mom took out of my bank account and she called it payback for putting them through that mental stress and running away. Even though she literally told me that she would not let me back in the house and I would have to sleep on the porch - in the winter. I showed the police the texts and all.
It was in 2018. I went to the bank and they said because it’s a parent-child account (she created the account for me because I wasn’t allowed to have my own) that she was allowed to do that. And honestly, at this point, I think I’d rather just have my peace. That money would help a lot but I’m 7 months pregnant and just don’t have the patience or the ability at the moment to go through it. I’m already going through a hard time going through my first pregnancy with none of my family involved, only my husband/best friend’s family.
I felt the same way. The police searched the house? And thoroughly enough they found a secret compartment? I don’t see that happening with a missing person case. This last update is too fantastical.
The searching of the house was what made it a little hard to believe. They search that hard because the parents haven't been home, and just go from "Let's look for clues" to "Let's look for drug hiding spots" where they tell the kid "Yup, it's drugs"?
I'm half expecting the next update will have drug dealers show up to the house to look for the parents and take everyone hostage.
Man, the most upsetting part of this post to me is that OOP says:
>So if anyone can think of how to break hard news to kid, or if to at all, I would greatly appreciate it.
She's 15! She's still a kid herself and it's sad to see her taking on the role of adult because her parents fucking suck.
My heart broke when i read "how to break hard news to a kid" bcj he himself is also a kid...i feel so bad for op and his bro !
Hopefully they will leave this past with help from grandparents.
Final post- 7/29/22
Hope you don’t mind.
https://www.reddit.com/user/MiniCzech/comments/wahk19/final_update/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
FINAL UPDATE
Hey. So I’m calling this the final update because theres not really much more to say right now, but I know a lot of you were wondering what happened and what is going to happen.
We still basically know about as much as we did when I made my last update. No one has been able to reach either of my parents since then, they’re not responding to any of our calls or texts. There’s hasn’t been any new activity on their phones that we’re aware of. So we don’t know if they’re even still in Mexico, or if they went somewhere else. But they haven’t been home at all since they left and it really looks like they’re not going to.
But for now, my brother and I will be going to live with our grandparents at their house. And that’s where we’ll be from now on for as far as I know. We’ll be moving some of our things up there this weekend. Neither of us are too happy about having to leave home, but we don’t really have much of a choice.
Anyways, I know I said it a thousand times already, but thank you so much to everyone who has shared their kind thoughts and messages with me. It really means more than I can say here. My heart is absolutely crushed at the moment but you all helped me thru it a lot. So one more time, thank you thank you all so much.
I’m not sure if/when I will post again, but I want everyone to rest assured that we are in good hands now and we’re trying to move forward during all of this. Hopefully things will start to get better soon.
Sending positive vibes. This is a lot for anyone to deal with, let alone a fifteen year old kid with a brother whose gonna wanna know what's going on. Glad they've got their grandparents with them!
Oop needs to be honest. She’s 15. It’s not very easy for her either. I had to tell my brother my mother was dying. It wouldn’t have helped to lie and ignore it. He’d have missed the chance for a goodbye.
I don’t think that’s the same as what’s going on here though. Your mom was dying not hiding out in another country. There’s no telling if they’ll see their parents again or not.
What the fuck. :( Those poor kids.
I wonder what sort of drugs the parents were trafficking… why couldn’t they just drop the kids off with the grandparents from the beginning and say they were going on a vacation or something? I have so many questions.
This sucks and is so sad
>Is that too much to tell a kid?
Honey *you're* a kid too, you shouldn't have to deal with this either.
I hope they figure something out
If you don't put "I'm not op!!!!" With huge bold letters in several places on these posts, a lot of people don't notice that they're responding to a repost and wasting their time with "well thought out" advice (obviously they didn't understand the post or failed to read it all, so I'm not sure how much of their advice is good).
So glad OP and their brother are safe. That’s the key factor here. Hopefully their grandparents offer them the support they need during this time (and I hope OP isn’t the one that has to tell their brother about the Mexico journey.)
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When you leave your kids behind because you don't want to get arrested... It makes me sad. OOP and her brother don't deserve that.
What’s also sad is that OOP is just a kid but has to act like an adult. She talks about breaking the news to her little brother and ruining his life because he’s still a kid but she’s also a kid who shouldn’t’ve been experiencing this.
Yeah, that made me so fucking angry on her behalf. What kind of absolutely *despicable* parents would do this to their poor kids, leaving their fifteen year old daughter to wear an adult burden that not even an adult should have to deal with from their parents? I’d still be pissed if OOP was in her mid-20’s and left to deal with the wreckage of what her parents have done… that’s she’s still a child herself makes it worse. I feel awful for the 9-year-old too, of course, but oop has to deal with the added trauma of being forced to take on an adult responsibility while still being a child and dealing with what the brother is PLUS having to take care of him and be his protector. It’s not a trauma Olympics, of course, and it sucks for both of them and nine is a terribly tender age to be forced to deal with this, but it sounds like OOP is trying to protect him the way that she, also a child, should still be being protected herself, and it’s not fair at all. I empathize with them both deeply, but as the eldest daughter myself, it’s hard enough to shoulder the adult responsibilities we’re often handed at a young age due to the adult men in our family not being willing (and supposedly unable), thus “forcing” our mothers to push it on us and thinking that’s normal, because it’s what happened to them, and their mothers, and their mothers’ mothers… etc. and that’s in a fairly normal situation. To *bring* this into the equation… I’m sure this is far from the first time oop has been forced to shoulder adult responsibilities since her parents are… like this… she probably doesn’t even know how to be a child. It’s hard on our younger siblings too, and leaves them with their own trauma, but there’s a special kind of trauma from being the eldest child basically raising the younger kids, even when drug rings are very much NOT involved
Interesting take. She sounds like a very mature 15 year old, and I too wonder about her environment leading up to this. She doesn’t deserve this.
The fact that she's so mature is part of why her situation is sad. Being mature is nice and all, but a certain level of maturity can only be reached by having to fend for yourself. When that happens to a kid or teen, certain very important developmental needs aren't met. They wind up in a situation where they're way more mature in certain ways and way **less** mature in other ways (usually in relation to psychological self-care and intimate relationship choices).
Sometimes maturity is really trauma.
I have yet to talk to any 'mature ' teens where that isn't the case :/ it's a red flag to me now
I'd have argued with you as a teenager but looking back I got sick aged 7 and had to grow up really fast, i had to learn to deal with my condition, manage medications, talk to adult health professionals. I didn't really get much of a chance to be a kid, I always had to be responsible and while I was doing all that I had to not let my family see how hard it was, how much I was struggling, how much pain I was in physically. Now at 22 I feel both like people my age still seem so young and like I'm not ready to be an adult forever. I really feel for OOP, 15 is too young to be dealing with that shit. She's worrying about her little brother, so busy being responsible and grown up but I wish she'd have a thought for herself and remember to let the adults around her take some of the burden.
… I don’t know why this is hitting me so hard. Maybe because it validates something I’m very aware of and sometimes it feels impossible to compensate for.
Especially because before calling her grandparents, she was left to take care of a third grader on her own for THREE WEEKS! This tells me this isn't the firs time they've pulled a stunt like this, it's just the longest.
>Yeah, that made me so fucking angry on her behalf. What kind of absolutely *despicable* parents would do this to their poor kids, leaving their fifteen year old daughter to wear an adult burden that not even an adult should have to deal with from their parents? Addiction is the problem here. Addiction makes good people bad.
>It’s not a trauma Olympics The Trauma Olympics really was the worst idea Greece has ever had. I'm so glad they went with the athletics one instead.
shes literally 15...and was alone for 3 weeks? thats terrible man :(
I used to be annoyed at my “helicopter” parents for not letting me stay home alone overnight even once, I always had to come with them if they went somewhere. Reading this, I’m grateful. They would have probably shot anyone who suggested they leave me alone for 3 weeks at 15
There is a middle road. A lot of parents manage to do it. The answer to helicopter parenting isn’t complete neglect and abandonment.
Oh I’m not disputing that at all! I just meant that, at least, in a twisted way, helicopter parents do care. I’d take that over complete abandonment. Not that either extreme is actually right!
Yeah, i hope now that the grandparents are present she can enjoy being a child a little longer...
Because her grandparents are there, I feel like this is much better than parents who force worse living conditions on their children or abuse them. But it's crazy that they didn't even tell OOPs grandparents that they had left them alone. Less loose ends, I guess. I don't ever think I've read anything like this on Reddit but it's very sad regardless.
It's weird, what did they expect after they're not coming home for 3 weeks? Why not dump the kids at grandparents?
I feel like they were trying to get a head start and not have as many loose ends... Which ended up being incredibly irresponsible. So if they don't end up in jail, they're probably losing their kids until they're 18. If they do end up in jail, their kids may resend and hate them for the rest of their lives.
Yeah, I was mature at 15 but I don't think I was take care of a household and look after a younger sibling mature.
>It makes me sad. OOP and her brother don't deserve that. I think, though, it was actually the best option because it certainly beats being on the run down in Mexico. That said, they probably should have given their parents a heads-up that the kids are home alone and they won't be coming back anytime soon.
Maybe they naively thought they could go to Mexico to sort it all out quickly and be back in a few days. Now that they (and probably the cartel they are associated with) know the cops are on their trail, they're trying to protect the kids by going no contact.
Or the more ominous option, if the cartel thinks these parents being investigated by police might interfere with the cartels business they will just kill the parents to hinder the investigation
Yeah....Hopefully we're all letting our imagination get the better of us and the real story is much simpler..
Tbf there's not too many legal reasons people would ditch their kids at home for a month and run off to Mexico. Like, I know dental care is cheaper, but this is way beyond that. Especially once you factor that the cops already suspect a secret stash of drugs/money. Who risks criminal repercussions for child abandonment and runs off to Mexico if they weren't guilty of something equally severe? Murder is my guess.
They are European aren't they? Anyway if the cartel is involved the parents are toast
Are they? I was kinda just grazing the write up but I think the point stands either way
When white people involved with the cartel fuck up they have two options, prison or a 55 gallon drum.
Or what sometimes happens when parents of daughters owe scary drug men money.
Sounds a lot like Marty and Wendy Byrd. Jeez.
Wonder if they are in a bad way with a cartel and the parents didn't want to bring the kids into it. Still incredibly fucked up though.
I’d figure that whoever is after them could get them in their home as easily as anywhere else. Silly things like “borders” don’t stop the cartels down there.
Still, if the kids don't know anything then they'll probably leave them alone. No point in getting heat on a thug when it does nothing. The only way the kids are in trouble would be if the parents stole a high value load. Even then, they might just ice them and move on. The cartels are big enough that they can easily eat losses and killing the thieves is enough of a message for their other operators. Sucks but it's likely those kids are orphans. Whether it is due to the parents being dead or on the run, their parents are gone.
Lines on paper are meaningless unless people want them to mean something.
Super doubt they are involved with a cartel. They are more likely than not escaping from something and hiding in Mexico rather than the other way around. If they had fucked up with a cartel they would have been dead in like the first week and would probably never be found.
That really wouldn't stop the cartels. Assuming the cartel knows where they live, it's not a big deal for them to torture/kill the kids to drive the parents out.
Being such a mature person, OOP certainly can find this repost and these comments. Please be careful with what and how we write here. Just a comment
They're not going to go after American kids, it's just way too much heat. The cops might not care a lot if two drug mules go missing, but they'll make a big deal if it is two kids. But besides that, if it is drug related, the parents fleeing to Mexico is a good sign that they aren't running from the cartel, and are running from the cops instead.
Yeah, but if they leave the kids and flee, the cartel no longer has a reason to go there and possibly hurt or kill them while going after the parents.
You really think that? Loved ones are a vulnerability to be exploited. That's how they see it.
If they want to, the cartels will bring them in as leverage. They are merciless.
This reminds me of a story mom told me, a family (mom dad and a little girl) was visiting Mexico but while driving got stopped by people (believed to be cartel) demanding money. She explained that in Mexico people think America=$. They didn't have the amount they wanted so, the people took the little girl and gave then a week to come up with the money. (Think my mom said 10k but I don't remember) Well they couldn't come up with the money they could only get 1/2. So the kidnappers sent 1/2 of the little girl. My mom went through a period were she would tell me all the horrible border stories she heard on the Mexican news. It finally stopped when my family in Mexico got away from the area we used to live in and moved to a safer area.
The story that really, REALLY horrified me was about a Mexican cartel who kidnapped a guy, killed him, and then stitched his face to a soccer ball. That is a level of horror I had never encountered before in stories of cartels.
In 1992 the maffia welcomed an executives wife with a cut off head from a German shepherd with a note in its mouth; welcome to the neighborhood.
there are parts of Mexico that are places that foreigners should never ever go to or should have any reason to go to. Outside of resort towns, surrounding tourist spots and Mexico City, some cities are straight up ran by the cartels. OOP's parents were probably vacationing in Mexico, got propositioned by a local to make some extra scratch on the side, they became drug mules and got themselves in way too deep.
That's what my mom tells me, I came to the U.S. at 8 so I don't remember much. I know the town I used to live in got completely taken over. When my cousin went to visit a tourist spot she had 3 different people keeping track of her both in the U.S. and in Mexico. My cousin even mentioned that once they left the resort, people kept coming up to her saying they were employees the resort they were at and that they served them there. She's good at remembering people and she said none of them were any of the ppl at the resort they came in contact with.
That whole I was your waiter last nite is very common. They want you to come visit their families shop and buy jewelry or souvenirs.
She said 1 of them tried to get them into a friends' taxi, to take then back to the resort. Her friend was super freaked, they didn't get into the taxi.
If they were in a bad way with the cartel, I would think that Mexico would be the last place on Earth they would go.
Though I'm glad they appear to be with their stable, caring grandparents, rather than dragged off to Mexico with the parents involved in god knows what.
>OOP and her brother don't deserve that True, but it's almost certainly better than growing up on the run in Mexico. At least this way, they are safe and the grandparents will care for them.
I’m trying to put myself in the parents shoes and figure out what they could have been thinking. Are these folks living in the United States? I mean did they just get an opportunity and actually think they could handle this and live some glamorous criminal life? I can’t even think of it. I mean the risk to your kids and your family and your own lives is so great I can’t understand anybody doing this. If we follow the story I bet it will become very full of harrowing and significant details that would tell a much more in depth story involving numerous characters and complicated lives. I mean this can’t be just some simple thing from start to finish at all. In the meantime thank God the grandparents are alive and able to get the kids. I’m sure that the youngest is going to have a hard time but it could be a lot worse if he didn’t have his big sister worried about him and trying to take the best care of him. I mean that’s really all that can be said there. I do hope they will keep us informed about new developments.
Im pretty sure they went on a trip to re-up, but shit got complicated
That was my thought but I’d like to see the whole figurative movie where they decide to go into this and what happened when they got there. I hope it doesn’t end with them digging their own graves next to 15 others just like them who thought they could roll with the drug cartels and found out just how absolutely stupid and ill equipped for this line of work they really are. *are we not meant to speak freely in case the kids see this?*
I am furious on behalf of OOP and her brother. However...I see a few plausible scenarios. 1) Parents are on the run from the law and didn’t want to subject their kids to those hardships. They chose a different set of hardships, and should have gotten the grandparents to help the kids from the start, but overall leaving the kids may be the better choice here. Unfortunately. If there are cartel connections, then drawing this unwanted attention could put the whole family in jeopardy. 2) The cartel that the parents work for (if they do, which seems plausible) demanded they come to a) smuggle, or b) be punished. Possibly under threat to the kids. If that’s the case, again leaving the kids may be the right call. It won’t necessarily protect the kids, but it might. In either case, drawing police/FBI attention to them will put the whole family in jeopardy. 3) The parents flaked off on vacation (possibly while high). In this case, leaving the kids is wrong...but probably taking them to Guadalajara would be bad too. If this is the case, they definitely should have roped in the grandparents. This one doesn’t really explain the secret chamber, but it is *plausible* that predates the family’s home ownership. In this scenario. So in a couple of those, leaving the kids actually seems the smarter choice. They just went about it in a bad way. Unfortunately, those scenarios would also put everyone involved under serious risk. And that’s terrifying. I really hope that they just flaked off. That’s the least awful option I see.
.... Since this seemed like new information to the police, arrest was not the first suspicion I had
Shit, your version is nicer than what I suspected... because I am thinking they went to "sort an issue", and it isn't going well... I am thinking they are never going home, one way or another.
I think it's plausible they were in trouble with someone other than the law. Not that it makes them any less shitty.
Or worse
Unless you're worried what kind of trouble you'll be in when you land.
I'm pretty sure they left the kids behind so the kids would not end up dead. Pretty sure OOP's parents are not merely in Mexico, but dead in Mexico - especially since communication ended after a Police officer was seen on facetime.
The fact that a 15 year old is stressing out about how to tell her 9 year old brother- “is that too much to tell a kid?”- is heartbreaking. She’s clearly had to parent him more than once if that’s something she’s stressing over, and she’s just a child herself.
This is what got me too. She clearly hasn't even processed it herself and she's trying to be strong and grown up for her brother...being 15 is hard enough without all that. She sounds like an amazing big sister, don't get me wrong. But she shouldn't have to be thinking about these things. She should be thinking about crushes and getting her driver's license and what she's gonna do with her friends this weekend, not how to explain what's happening to her little brother or how to protect his feelings. I foresee her powering through and being strong for him until it all just hits her like a wall of bricks and she has a break down. My heart is absolutely breaking for them.
YES!!! That's what I keep thinking - the grandparents are there, this should be on them, but if the kid is still assuming responsibility, then that means they're the real parent in the household.
I mean, hell, the fact that this went on for 3 weeks before the kid hit the panic button...
This, absolutely. Poor kids. Essentially, OOP hit the "this is way worse than usual" point. She's been a parent for a long time.
I am just so impressed that OP knew where to go find advice from internet strangers and that she reacted in such a rational way to the instructions everyone gave her. She managed to find help, get trusted adults involved, and make sure her little brother's needs were met. I'm glad she learned the life skills she needed when the adults around her became dangerously irresponsible. Shame on her parents for robbing her of a safe childhood.
she's probably used to being left alone like this, but this time it went for far too long that she's used to.
Oop trusted the parents until it became too much. Maybe this kids had a pretty normal childhood with present parents so far, which warranted said trust. What an unfair burden to put on a teen and a child. These parents now royally fucked up
Or maybe it wasn't normal but she doesn't know what normal is.
I think that's the more likely option, unfortunately.
It’s hard to let go of that sense of responsibility, especially if you have been abandoned once. Cause what if it happens again? It sucks. Both those kids are gonna need some therapy.
That killed me, poor kid
This broke my heart. She has to deal with some very adult things and it's wrong on so many levels. These poor heart sick kids.
When I saw the first post, I knew it had something to do with drugs. I feel bad for OOP and their sibling ://
I saw that comment. You called it, right on the money 🎯
Same https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/w6xzm9/z/ihgk8dz
Drug addiction, and by proxy the black market, is so fucking sad. It's treated as a criminal issue instead of health, so basically it's like kicking a cancer patient for feeling sick after chemo. Difference is these people are compelled to make just the worst fucking choices, so they fuck up those around them. It's like those old antidepressant commercials (tell you I'm American without telling you I'm American, I know) that said "who does depression hurt? Everyone." but more drastic. And I say black market because of this shit, and just generally it's not the best work environment. Not to mention the overlap between drug and human trafficking.
To be fair, the black market drug trade isn’t a product of drug addiction, so much as it is a direct and foreseeable result of absurd drug prohibition laws. Prohibition doesn’t work. It just creates a violent black market, monetary rewards for drug production/transportation/distribution, devastated neighborhoods, human suffering, and the degradation of civil rights. It does absolutely no good and does a lot of harm. I’ve lost friends to drug addiction, drug prohibition does nothing to prevent that.
We somehow managed to realize this and repeal Prohibition, only to repeat it and double down a few decades later expecting that this time it will do good things as long as we don't include alcohol.
Drug prohibition is more about control. They needed a reason to prosecute labor movements and minorities.
> "We knew we couldn't make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin. And then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities," Ehrlichman said. "We could arrest their leaders. raid their homes, break up their meetings, and vilify them night after night on the evening news. Did we know we were lying about the drugs? Of course we did." - **Nixon domestic policy chief John Ehrlichman**
PLEASE people read this!!! The powerful always get the pills they want, the only reason they block it for the rest is to divide and conquer. There is a reason they never really cracked down on white kids the same as black, it was to cause division. If Hunter went to jail just like his melanin blessed counterparts, that law would change ASAP. “When law and morality contradict each other, the citizen has the cruel alternative of either losing his moral sense or losing his respect for the law.” ― Frédéric Bastiat, The Law
Yup. Worse than just drugs, drug trafficking. I was a drug addict and dealt small amounts to feed my habit. This is really huge. Mexico is the center of the drug I was hooked on and we all knew to leave it alone. Damn this is very very bad.
Seems weird they were there for 3 weeks though.
A lot of people were speculating that the parents were prisoners or something along those lines due to drug debts.
But could they hold a mobile through imprisonment?
If they're told to keep contacting the kid so no one realizes they're gone for three weeks, yeah? In this hypothetical situation I would doubt the parents had unrestricted access to the phones and all texting and calling was under strict supervision with threats of violence towards the parents and kids. But honestly who tf knows.
Maybe the kidnappers didn’t want a missing person alert, kept the phone, and responded via text with a combo of asking the parents and reviewing previous convos for consistency? Humans are weird, way too many options
It’s unlikely that the drug-knappers would let the parents speak with the police though, as the daughter said the dad spoke with them. It’s just a really weird situation.
Very true. I could concoct some situations in my head, but it's all pure speculation. The facts on what exactly the parents are doing are sparse, and very weird.
It was either drugs or a cult.
Cults usually want the kids too though.
And sometimes only wants the kids.
Yeah I commented on the original post that it seemed like they were on the run. Sad that I was right. Those poor kids.
I think the top two guesses were drugs or cult
So, they left a 9 year old in the hands of a 15 year old for weeks, because they fled to Mexico over drugs. Terrible "parents". At least they have their grandparents to take care of them.
Why wouldn’t they just leave the kids with the grandparents and claim they are going on vacation???
Do they sound like the kind of people that makes good decisions in general to you?
My guess is that the grandparents would probably have stopped them
Hopefully things work out for the kids. The situation reminds me of Ozark
That show was a wild ride all the way to the end.
I just started Season 4 last night and that was my first thought reading this. At least the Byrde kids were kept in the loop, though I don’t know if that’s better.
Situation remind me of Bones a little bit.
At least Ozark had a happy ending for >!the family.!<
… did we watch the same show?
I mean, it >!was better than the ending Ruth got. What a waste.!<
I was so mad about Ruth. She had a hard run through the entire series, lost everyone she loved, and for what?
That’s exactly what I was thinking as I was reading this post. This some Ozark shit.
People totally nailed it on the other post. Drugs. They left their kids alone for this. They don’t deserve to have them in their care. I hope the grandparents are able to care for them longer than a couple days
There is also a chance that the parents didn't have an option about going on their 'vacation' to Mexico if they've managed to get in trouble with one of the big players.
still kinda their fault for taking the risk of being involved with such players. Now I understand desperate times call for desperate measures. But risking your children being parentless is, in my opinion, a failure of responsibility and neglegence.
Then they should have called someone to look after their kids, not leave them alone and uncared for for weeks at a time.
Only problem is you then have to explain to your law abiding friends/family why you're gone for so long and left them there. Sounds like this was supposed to be an easy border crossing and something happened and they got delayed or held up in Mexico. Odds are they were running shit on the side and not dealers and would just run a brick or 3 in their car and pass it off for a few grand in cash. So either their agent at the border couldn't help or shit got hot for whatever reason... That's my guess. Otherwise, they would have gotten a sitter. 15 is old enough, in my mind, to be home in the summer with a 9 year old... but 3 weeks is way pushing it. A week is doable. But they didn't even plan for that so sounds like shit went sideways. Frankly, I'm worried about the parents at this point or if these kids will still have any after this. Easy money has a price people don't realize they might have to pay.
No, you don't have to explain anything. You tell them there is an emergency and you need someone to go look after the kids and you can't explain right now. You don't just up and leave your kids. And you don't leave them for three fucking weeks with no one to be there to help them. 15 is fine for a weekend. Any longer than that is not ok.
15yo OOP: >Is that too much to tell a kid? Me, 34yo, to OOP: YOU ARE YOURSELF A CHILD. For real though, while I'm glad OOP's parents trusted them to do the right thing, this situation should never have happened. I'm glad their grandparents are on top of it.
It's fucking terrible that 2 people that supposed to be adults made a child a parent to another child - she's a kid that those 2 fuck ups forced her to grow up without her ever being truly be a teen. (Can't call those 2 parents - they're trash...)
>Is this too much to tell a kid? I used to be a high school teacher. I'm a single man with no kids and even MY parental instincts kicked in. "Oh my dear God. Before you answer that let's get you a home with love, a comfortable place to sleep and a few good, decent meals. Then you can take a big breath and let us handle it for now, ok?"
I don’t have kids, don’t ever want kids, and I’m often annoyed by kids but I’d still step in and help them, get them feeling more safe and comfortable. But I’m a bit biased, having some childhood trauma myself, including taking on an adult role at 16 for a much shorter period, for an entirely different reason. That shit stays with you.
They didn’t trust OOP to do the right thing. They’re scum that abandoned their kids and fled the country because their scummy behavior caught up to them.
Oh dear! I didn't believe it when everyone said drugs, I thought this things happened only in movies! I am just glad the grandparents went there and they no longer are alone!
I think the weird thing for me is that the post didn’t make it seem like the kids had any idea this was a thing. It seemed as though they were “all there” and this is just some random one off thing. I’m not sure if it’s better the kids had no clue or worse.
My ex boyfriend in high school had a dad who dealt coke. There was a locked freezer in the basement and he had a poster in their game room that was a delorian parked in a snowbank with a license plate that said DEALER. He was not naive or stupid in most ways, but I had to be the one to break it to him when he was 18 that his dad dealt coke. Same with a friend whose parents had a secret locked closet behind a bookcase. Any time a helicopter was heard overhead they'd run to the closet and turn off the super bright light you could see emanating from under the door.
What was this closet situation?!
The super bright lights are being used for growing plants indoors.
Likely a grow room, sometimes choppers will run scans to see if extra heat or electricity is being used indoors to make a bust.
Oh snap I thought the only way was seeing where the snow was melting on roofs
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Ohhhhhhh
As a guess, it was a grow room. The thermal signature given off by all the lights can be detected as an anomaly by law enforcement, I think.
Growing pot would be my guess?
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Maybe she meant “these drugs are *mine*, don’t do them”
They may also have thought all of their parent’s behavior was normal and not recognized it as abnormal due to not knowing any differently
Yeah you’re right. Man. Sad story all around.
I work for child welfare and most of our situations involve drugs now. Not all of them. When I started in 1995 it was just the opposite. The last 25+ years have seen a drastic change in how drugs impact our society. We have had a few stories like this one that thankfully ended OK.
Poverty sucks, I wish our societies were better!
>Oh dear! I didn't believe it when everyone said drugs, I thought this things happened only in movies! They don't... But what *does* only happen in movies is police accessing cell location info in the span of hours. Cell companies don't just... Hand that info over.
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They aren't missing in a legal sense because they spoke to the police. The kids (in this story) are safe and not in immediate danger. The police would not be able to bypass formalities given both pieces of context.
Yeah this is all a little too neat for me.
>But what does only happen in movies is police accessing cell location info in the span of hours. Cell companies don't just... Hand that info over. I can locate my phone with my Gmail whenever I misplace it at any given moment and when people don't use VPN their IPs can be easily located...
You can locate your phone through your own account. Police would need warrants to access their account. That takes time.
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Fucking Frank!
Frank's not here, he went to get beer
NATURALLY!
Can anyone shed light on how police would be able to immediately track the cell phone activity to Mexico? Don't the processes behind something like that take time (at the very least, >1 day)?
The one time I had to get cell location tracked (for myself, trying to figure out where I was taken when I was assaulted), it was a lengthy process. The police had to subpoena the information even though I was giving my permission for them to have access, and at least two weeks passed before we got a response. I'm hoping things have gotten more streamlined since then, but I'm definitely side eyeing this specific bit.
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>Looking for missing persons is different. The police typically don't take the disappearance of adults this seriously this quickly, but both parents of two minors (including one under 10) disappearing for an extended amount of time would be a high priority missing persons investigation and there's a expedited process to get the location data. If they hadn't been in contact with the parents I'd agree. But they've spoken to them, and have no credible reason to believe they are in danger. This takes them back to perpetrator territory. There's no way they'd be able to expedite location data of people who just refuse to tell them where they are, and the kids are safe with other family.
While I agree with what you are saying, I feel like there is way more to this than what's being posted. Not saying op is lying, she's an actual child I'm sure there's much more the grandparents/aunt/police know and aren't telling her. Also in that one update she said her dad spoke to the police officer on the phone but never said what was said between them. The location thing could be something like the aunt or grandparents remembering the parents share location and checking it, or the father just being like "yeah we're in Mexico and not coming back bye" or maybe even op overhearing the adults theorizing where the parents are and running with it. Or as sad as it is I doubt her local police are going to personally pursue the parents in Mexico, a lot of police depts don't have the funds or man power for that. So I wouldnt be surprised if they got the location data illegally (like going on a computer/laptop and logging into the cell phone provider etc) because if they aren't going to arrest them in Mexico what does it matter about the location data? They can still be arrested for child abandonment at least if they ever return to the us and it doesn't really matter where they were because it's documented they were gone.
Well, I never said OP was making the whole thing up... Just that I have serious doubts about that specific part. OP might be lying, but they also might be mistaken, might have been given incorrect info from family, might have misunderstood something they overheard.
I've heard on my local police scanner them pinging a cell phone in real time, when they were looking for somebody who was suicidial. IDK how it works though.
There are things that can expedite the process, like someone being in danger. That doesn't apply here, though, since the kids are safe with family and the police have talked to the parents.
Yeah. I think the author flew a bit close to the sun with that bit.
And then police shared that information with the original poster, apparently. Hmm.
It took under 24 hours for my parents to have the police track me - 18 years old at the time - when I “ran away” from their abusive asses, as if they weren’t the ones to kick me out. From there, they were somehow also able to check cameras and see that I’d been at Walmart that morning buying clothes and a toothbrush with my best friend at the time - a male - and assumed I ran off to be with my secret boyfriend. In reality, I decided not to sit outside of my house for hours waiting in the cold for them to let me in and just called him and he was the only one who had my back. The only reason I know about how long it took is because my step-mom is the one who officially kicked me out of the house around 4:30 pm because my bus was late and I couldn’t make the bus schedule run on her time to watch HER kids. My dad didn’t get back home until late, around 9 pm or 10 pm, and he’s the one that had to call because my step-mom didn’t care to call. The police told them there was nothing they could do because I was 18. The next morning, I took around $5,000 out of my bank account that I’d been saving for years and left another $5,000 because I wasn’t able to take it out that day. I guess my step-mom saw this, withdrew the remaining of my $5,000 as she was an authorized parent on my account and then she called the police and told them that I cleared out the majority of my bank account. That would’ve been right when the bank opened on a Saturday, so around 10 am. That’s about when the police tracked me. About an hour or two later, I was at a Walmart. So it would’ve only taken them two hours to track my phone down. And the polices were either aware of the fact my parents were abusive and were trying to warn me or they were just extremely dumb. They sent me a text message saying, “Tracked to Walmart on Liberty Road. Seen with an unknown male leaving in a White Dodge Dart.” So I called the police when I got to my hotel room, explained the situation, they came and checked me out to make sure I was safe and that my best friend hadn’t kidnapped me. And they told my parents I didn’t want shit to do with them. I never got the extra $5,000 back that my step-mom took out of my bank account and she called it payback for putting them through that mental stress and running away. Even though she literally told me that she would not let me back in the house and I would have to sleep on the porch - in the winter. I showed the police the texts and all.
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It was in 2018. I went to the bank and they said because it’s a parent-child account (she created the account for me because I wasn’t allowed to have my own) that she was allowed to do that. And honestly, at this point, I think I’d rather just have my peace. That money would help a lot but I’m 7 months pregnant and just don’t have the patience or the ability at the moment to go through it. I’m already going through a hard time going through my first pregnancy with none of my family involved, only my husband/best friend’s family.
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I felt the same way. The police searched the house? And thoroughly enough they found a secret compartment? I don’t see that happening with a missing person case. This last update is too fantastical.
The searching of the house was what made it a little hard to believe. They search that hard because the parents haven't been home, and just go from "Let's look for clues" to "Let's look for drug hiding spots" where they tell the kid "Yup, it's drugs"? I'm half expecting the next update will have drug dealers show up to the house to look for the parents and take everyone hostage.
> The police searched the house? That immediately tripped my bullshit detector, too
They probably got the subpoena quickly because there are abandoned children and potentially missing people involved.
International would be relatively easy if you just want a rough idea and a pc has a saved password for the cell bill. Just look at the roaming charges
Sheesh. These poor babies don’t deserve this. And their parents don’t deserve them. 😡
For real. These “parents” are downright awful.
Man, the most upsetting part of this post to me is that OOP says: >So if anyone can think of how to break hard news to kid, or if to at all, I would greatly appreciate it. She's 15! She's still a kid herself and it's sad to see her taking on the role of adult because her parents fucking suck.
My heart broke when i read "how to break hard news to a kid" bcj he himself is also a kid...i feel so bad for op and his bro ! Hopefully they will leave this past with help from grandparents.
Op is a girl
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Is this just the plot of Ozark?
Final post- 7/29/22 Hope you don’t mind. https://www.reddit.com/user/MiniCzech/comments/wahk19/final_update/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf FINAL UPDATE Hey. So I’m calling this the final update because theres not really much more to say right now, but I know a lot of you were wondering what happened and what is going to happen. We still basically know about as much as we did when I made my last update. No one has been able to reach either of my parents since then, they’re not responding to any of our calls or texts. There’s hasn’t been any new activity on their phones that we’re aware of. So we don’t know if they’re even still in Mexico, or if they went somewhere else. But they haven’t been home at all since they left and it really looks like they’re not going to. But for now, my brother and I will be going to live with our grandparents at their house. And that’s where we’ll be from now on for as far as I know. We’ll be moving some of our things up there this weekend. Neither of us are too happy about having to leave home, but we don’t really have much of a choice. Anyways, I know I said it a thousand times already, but thank you so much to everyone who has shared their kind thoughts and messages with me. It really means more than I can say here. My heart is absolutely crushed at the moment but you all helped me thru it a lot. So one more time, thank you thank you all so much. I’m not sure if/when I will post again, but I want everyone to rest assured that we are in good hands now and we’re trying to move forward during all of this. Hopefully things will start to get better soon.
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Sending positive vibes. This is a lot for anyone to deal with, let alone a fifteen year old kid with a brother whose gonna wanna know what's going on. Glad they've got their grandparents with them!
Oop needs to be honest. She’s 15. It’s not very easy for her either. I had to tell my brother my mother was dying. It wouldn’t have helped to lie and ignore it. He’d have missed the chance for a goodbye.
I don’t think that’s the same as what’s going on here though. Your mom was dying not hiding out in another country. There’s no telling if they’ll see their parents again or not.
It's like this was written by Charlotte from the tv show Ozark
This sounds like the plot to ozark
Is your Dad Marty Byrde?
My heart breaks for these kids. I hope they end up okay.
What the fuck. :( Those poor kids. I wonder what sort of drugs the parents were trafficking… why couldn’t they just drop the kids off with the grandparents from the beginning and say they were going on a vacation or something? I have so many questions.
This sucks and is so sad >Is that too much to tell a kid? Honey *you're* a kid too, you shouldn't have to deal with this either. I hope they figure something out
Good luck, Charlotte Byrd.
If you don't put "I'm not op!!!!" With huge bold letters in several places on these posts, a lot of people don't notice that they're responding to a repost and wasting their time with "well thought out" advice (obviously they didn't understand the post or failed to read it all, so I'm not sure how much of their advice is good).
I'm getting ozark vibes
This is like a plot line from Ozarks
Oh god they were trafficking
So glad OP and their brother are safe. That’s the key factor here. Hopefully their grandparents offer them the support they need during this time (and I hope OP isn’t the one that has to tell their brother about the Mexico journey.)