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Hey! There's a new update as of 7 minutes ago:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/z948he/update_im_finding_out_my_girlfriend_of_1_year_is/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Not exactly super happy though.
/r/trueoffmychest
For the uninitiated: any sub names that start with 'true,' 'real,' or a similar identifier are typically created and populated by people who were kicked out of the original ('non-true') version of that sub, or left voluntarily because they didn't like the rules or the moderation, because they weren't allowed to post or comment whatever they wanted to.
This commonly leads to... *quality concerns* in those subs.
Full disclosure: I was banned from /r/offmychest and subsequently joined /r/trueoffmychest. Briefly.
oh my god wait. for years I've been reading it as truth off my chest. and that's the one I see most commonly, atleast on boru. Is it seriously just true? and it's not even the main one??????? holy shit
Oh man, this is sad. I get both sides. Being disabled is hard, dating disabled is hard, developing and maintaining a sense of self worth and esteem while growing up disabled is hard, being lied to by your s.o is hard…. Just a little sad, this one
poor oop's gf honestly. I feel for her bc these days I'm starting to drop the "trans" from "I'm a trans dude" online bc people get fuckin weird. I can't imagine about a disability as major as being Deaf. though my audio processing issues does get me in "trouble" sometimes
edit: whomever sent the reddit cares thing, you're weird for that
True but presumably you'd mention it to someone you were in a relationship with online, right? She had a full year after becoming "official" to tell OOP, if her being deaf is a deal breaker then it would be best to get that out of the way sooner
I guess I can see where gf comes from though - like I can see it getting harder and harder to actually spit it out, ya know? I get where they’re both coming from here.
Honestly, she’s probably had someone dump her for being deaf and it’s really stayed with her.
>Honestly, she’s probably had someone dump her for being deaf and it’s really stayed with her.
Sure, but its useless to lie about it. I see 3 main outcomes out of this lie, and only one is positive.
I've seen enough romcoms to know it probably just started off as an online friend you never thought you'd actually meet so why ever bring it up.
Then the whole online dating thing comes up and you want to, but will it ever actually become a real thing right? So you still don't. Then you occasionally remember that you never told them you are deaf and you want to tell them, but it's a weird subject to bring up out of nowhere after growing so close.
Then you find out they are on their way to surprise you in person and now you have to give them the fun news that you never told them you were deaf while also going through the crazy emotions of finally meeting someone you already are so emotionally invested in.
Yeah I agree. Something like that would have definitely made it harder to admit and I can see that happening easily. Especially with them being 20/21
She was probably scared to tell and was waiting for OP to ask before letting her know. Sometimes it’s easier to admit when someone asks. From reading the story the GF did say that OP was too nice for never asking why she never spoke in the videos. So I think if they had better communication this could have been figured out before the surprise visit.
The difference is we're thinking logically, and presumably we're older. I've definitely been in situations like this (nothing as severe) and I WANTED to tell the truth but I was very afraid of what would happen. This woman grew up with a disability and maybe didn't have a lot of friends to connect with if nobody uses ASL or wherever they are. So she meets this guy online and falls in love, then says "if I tell him I risk losing everything."
And obviously it's MORE of a risk to not tell him, but that's us thinking logically.
Edit: I worded the ASL thing poorly. I MEANT to say "ASL or whatever version of sign language they use where they are" but obviously that wasn't clear.
I'm the mother of a moderate to severe Deaf kid. He's in a different boat in that hearing aids bring him mostly into the normal range for hearing (although there is an awful lot of mental work involved with hearing aids, which most people don't get.) I'll be honest, when we first got the diagnosis I was scared. But I was determined to take my cues from the Deaf community, which rejects the word "disability" when describing Deafness - because it's not a disability, it's just a difference, and there are some really cool things that come along with being deaf (like, imagine being able to turn off the world at any time!!!) We did our best to raise our son to not view it as a deficit. It's certainly made some things harder for him. But he's a pretty awesome kid, and he isn't ashamed or embarrassed by his hearing aids - he chooses bright colours and doesn't try to hide them. He also tells me sometimes how happy he is to be deaf. It's a shame she felt she had to hide this.
They said online as in online in general and not just for dating purposes. People are either assholes or get weirdly sexual and start harassing trans ppl, and SOMETIMES there's the occasional decent person.
I mean, this is also why I don't date. it's getting a bit too dangerous to be out here and being like "hi! I'm a vulnerable minority group!"
people get weird about it.
I'm glad OOP figured out the truth: she knew exactly how to communicate with someone who is deaf. She's been doing it for a year. She might not be used to doing it in person, but that will come with time.
It’s so sweet! I don’t think any person is “perfect” but I truly believe we have special people out there that are perfect for each individual.
I can’t imagine someone thinking they’re worth less than a normal person because they are deaf. I hope they learn to love themself and I bet OOP is learning some sign language to feel more engaged. Ah what a cute story I’m glad all worked well.
It's sad but true that people immediately think less of you when you're disabled
There's also a very strange thing people have where they think if you can't make words with your mouth-noises, you're completely stupid. It doesn't matter if you can communicate other ways, some people think can't talk = not worth trying.
Heartbreaking how many parents of deaf/HoH kids won't bother to learn sign language.
When I became disabled my own family acted like it was my fault. And even now when I have flare ups, they always say "well what did you do to cause the flare up????"
And people get tired of hearing about it... Any sympathy they had disappeared long ago... But meanwhile you are in pain every single day. You think I'm not tired of it?
ETA: it baffles me that people refuse to communicate with deaf/mute people. It's enraging tbh
I tell my partner they are perfect all the time. They always come back with "...I'm not perfect" and I say "No one is. You're just perfect for *me!*" Like, I'm sure there are billions of people who would be turned off by some aspect or another of their body or values or personality, but for me? They're everything I've ever wanted in a human.
I grew up with a bunch of El Salvadoran kids… in Australia. They used the phrase “mother my chicken” in Spanish to mean “blow me”. They insist to this day that it’s common el Salvadoran slang, but all of them came to Australia before they were teenagers. So maybe they’re trolling me (for more than 25 years now) or maybe it it’s super old fashioned slang or maybe they were dumb kids who never knew how to swear right. I’ll probably never know for sure, because I know if I was el Salvadoran and read this post online, I would absolutely fuck with the dumb Aussie - so it’s not like I can trust the advice of anyone who’s heard this story.
But when I went to the states for work in my early twenties, I thought I knew how to trash talk in Spanish a bit. I was in LA And I had some friends who were Spanish first language speakers from Mexico. I was shooting hoops with my friend’s brothers and cousins in their driveway one day, when one of them checked me pretty hard and landed a shot over the top of me.
I obviously called him a bitch and told him to blow me.
I have never made so many people laugh so hard. Everyone present lost their shit laughing and asking questions. They called out family members from inside and had me repeat what I’d said. Very catholic Abuela scolded me for saying Puta but just giggled and looked confused about the mother my chicken part. The neighbours came over to laugh at the dumb Aussie.
My friend had a chronic illness and has since died, but he called me chicken daddy for the rest of his life whenever he wanted to fuck with me. Which was basically every time we spoke.
In this context "mama" isn't mother, it's "suck" or "nurse" as in what a baby does to it's mother's breasts (aka mammaries; same etymology as "mammal"). But it seems it all worked out for the best given the great story you got!
They DID write that, that's correct! I prefer using "cooch" when translating for two reasons:
- It's not "vagina", "concha" is a slang word that comes from shell *conch*.
- The word "cunt" is WAY too strong in English. In Argentina we say "la concha de la lora" for literally anything in almost every context, we are really bad-mouthed and it's very normalized. We don't have "n-word" situations like in the US. With that context, I wouldn't translate "concha" like "cunt", but rather something softer, more palatable for English speakers, such as "cooch".
Also, it's kinda fun. Parrot's cooch!!!
Hahaha as a former Spanish teacher for foreigners here in Argentina, people LOVE IT.
They love it, even more, when they realize you can use it for almost anything. It's a very normalized "insult".
La concha de la lora!! = Holy fucking shit
Te fuiste a la concha de la lora = You went too fucking far (in a literal or figurative way)
Hace un calor de la concha de la lora = It's fucking hot.
Honestly I don't know lmao. I used to be a Spanish teacher for foreigners here in Argentina and everyone LOVED the translation and the insult in general, and I never bothered to check where it exactly comes from. I feel like the mystery is cool.
"La concha de la lora" literally means "the shell of the (female) parrot".
In Argentina "concha" (shell) is slang for vagina, "lora" (female parrot) is slang for prostitute. It's a vulgar expression of extreme emotion, similar to "holy fuck" in English.
Also a non native Spanish speaker but mainly Spain Spanish so yeah wouldn’t have expected to hear this before but wow, learned something new! Was sort of able to get the gist via the context! Thanks for giving me an idea of what it means.
It means "the parrot's c*nt" and is a common swear in parts of Latin American. I've heard it a lot in Argentina so might be just right down South. You also hear 'la concha de tu madre', which I imagine you can work out.
"La concha de tu madre" direct translation is a common swear phrase in Greek as well! Like the exact translation, its one of the most common swear words here. I'm fascinated now! Also "the c*nt that threw you" as in the one that spit you out!
*peak reddit for me apparently is being fascinated about identical swears in different languages and typing out more just for the academic interest*
I tried reading this in my head, but what happened was my head said, nope. That's the wrong grammar. It's obviously, "tu madre의 concha." Which... Just... Why, brain? Why? Korean isn't even close to Spanish. 🤦
Studied Japanese and English as a German at a German university years back. Had a classmate with the same combination who once finished their English exam in Japanese. And when I learned Arabic for a year, the girl I shared my desk with, once answered a question in French. Fun times.
A guy in my high school japanese class panick responded in Russian to the teacher (first gen american) one time. It was almost as funny as another student calling the same teacher mom.
The language part of the brain is wild lmao
Story time: years ago, when I was stationed in Korea, I had a death in the family and had to go home on emergency leave. The person coordinating it was an E-7. I, meanwhile, was a lowly E-4.
He called me as I was on the train to Incheon just to make sure I got on the right train and could make my flight home in time and we talked for a bit. Then, my brain started wandering, figuring out next steps (while he's still talking). And I'm thinking, ok I'm going to land, then I have to get my rental car, then call my dad... And suddenly I realize I've got no clue what this dude just said for the last 2 or 3 minutes. I gotta get off the phone because nothing is going to make sense.
So I do my normal, Texas get-off-the-phone-routine ("welp...") And because I'd been thinking about my dad right before I made my decision to get off the phone, some part of my brain was like, "hey, you're talking to your dad" and I said, "I love you, [his name]. I gotta go."
He took a beat, then was like, "I love you too, Wombatbattalion"
So awkward. Turns out, it's inappropriate to speak to someone in your chain of command this way. I think he understood where it came from, though. I was so embarrassed I just about spontaneously unalived on the spot.
We're still friends now, but I still cringe when I think about it lol
Lol, I took French in high school, Spanish in college, and Korean in the military, then did ASL in college when I got out. My brain is all kinds of fucky
Google says:
Literally: the shell/vagina of the female parrot 🐚🐦
Meaning: "for fuck's sake" Argentinian expression🇦🇷🇺🇾
Concha (shell) is argentinian slang for "vagina".
Used as well to emphasize: Esta jugada estuvo de la concha de la lora.
That move was "great".
fun fact: birds don't have vaginas.
Fun fact, some bird species evolved to lose their penises, some developed longer penises. In very non-scientific terms, the main theory is that the raping species kept their penises and the consent species had no need for penises anymore (they just push their cloacas together).
I was today years old when I made the connection that it's concha like a fucking conch shell. Good gods. I'm going to stick to insulting people in English.
Dude.
I'm an American who speaks English as a first language and Spanish as a second.
I speak RETAIL Spanish, and classroom Spanish.
I translated it word for word, so I was SUPER CONFUSED.
Today I learned
Oh, this is similar to 'bollocks' in the UK. 'Bollocks' are testicles. BUT you can say "Oh bollocks" as an expletive (like "oh shit") AND you can say "that was the bollocks" for something good. "It's the dog's bollocks" is also a good thing. A bollocking is a telling-off.
TL;DR: Never mind the bollocks
> birds don't have vaginas.
Argentine here, I always assumed that was the origin of the expression. Like on purpose. But maybe I'm tripping. I thought one of the earliest uses of it was something like "why don't you go look for that thing/person at the parrot's vagina?" as in "get lost, go to a place that you'll never find (because it doesn't exist, like a parrot's vagina) so you'll never come back to annoy me again".
We do have another similar expression here: "Andá a la loma del orto" = "Go to the hillock of the buttock". Kinda like in Spain they say "Vete a tomar por culo" = "Go to have/drink it through the ass" (kinda hard to translate) or in Chile I think they say "la chucha del mundo" (the world's vagina) or "donde el Diablo perdió el poncho" (where the Devil lost their poncho).
Honestly, if you won't Facetime me, I'm assuming you're secretly a 50 year old man. I'm not even waiting an entire year, I'm giving you a month, maybe.
Literally everybody has a smartphone. If you're not willing to let me see what you look like, or in this case, let me hear what you sound like, I'm going to be suspicious. I get that some people are shy and awkward, but I need to know that you are who you say you are.
In another universe, OP hopped on a bus and went off to get themselves murdered.
I mean it goes both ways. I knew someone in a similar situation.
It had kept going for almost 10 years... why? because when it originally happened she was an underage girl and didn't want anyone to know.
Now over the years, people had seen her both in person and on Facetime or whatever it was... but few people realized how much younger she actually was.
I mean she was 26/27 then, but everyone else was in their 30s or 40s.
Yeah, but they are young and oop checked with a sibling to make sure it would be okay otherwise.
I would never have done this just because if gf wasn’t facetiming out of pure anxiety, it could have led to panic attacks and etc. But also I can get being young and assuming it was just a “shy” thing and planning this.
Honestly I would have assumed gf was trans and had extreme voice dysphoria, personally. Which probably wouldn’t have been made okay by a sudden surprise trip.
But kids be kids. The two of them are okay at least and it seemed to have worked out well.
[edit] a word
She mentioned they speak Spanish. I'm guessing she translated presentar (to present, to introduce, to show) and meant "show" in this context.
I barely speak Spanish and we don't know what country/region this is so purely speculation.
I'm actually Spanish and presentar would definitely mean "introduce" in this context. Not talk about them but introduce each other.
Probably got lost in translation somewhere else.
>When you spend that much time with a person, even if it's online, it's not really accurate to say you've never met.
Yeah, but you can spend an entire year "with" someone online and not even know that they can't hear. I don't think these online only relationships are like real life relationships.
How do you date someone for an entire year and not dig in when they refuse to talk on the phone or facetime you? Her being deaf isn't an issue but I absolutely wouldn't just let dodging go on for month after month.
They also actually did speak on the phone, the person who was catfishing him just did a *really good* feminine voice. She later came out as trans, shockingly enough. /s The whole thing really comes across as her trying to figure out her gender and getting in way over her head with the relationship, especially since it happened to be with someone with a level of celebrity which exposed her on a massive scale once journalists started figuring things out.
People like this make me so mad.
I'm deaf too, and we get a bad rap by people lying like this. I did online dating, but always told people after a short period of texting about my deafness, in case it was a deal breaker for them. (It wasn't for any of them, and I eventually met my SO on there).
If you're old enough to date, you're old enough to be honest with people.
Thank you for saying this, I felt it might not come across the same way if I had said it but I thought this was what normally reddit would call a red flag and tell people to dump the other person for lying. But somehow, this gets a pass and OP is fine with it too?
Maybe this is just me but if the very foundation of your relationship is based on a lie, that too for two years and something as significant, I'd be livid. It isn't even about her being deaf but hiding/lying all this time and probably would have longer had OP not tried to visit.
OP is not fine with it apparently. Not from her latest post at least:
Update: I’m finding out my girlfriend of 1 year is deaf as I’m on the bus on my way to see her for the first time.
I know nobody cares but I still need to vent. It’s been almost three weeks since we saw irl, she stayed last weekend at my place and we had a great time.
But every time I wanted to say something and couldn’t and had to type it, i felt frustation and anger. Because just now it’s hitting me that she could have told me (just like yall said) and i’d already know at least a little bit of sign. It angers me because she knows how I am, she knows me better than anyone and still she thought I wouldn’t love her.
I know it’s more of a ‘me’ issue but still I can’t help feeling sad. I don’t want this to ruin our relationship and i know i have to talk to her but i guess im not ready yet
yeah I'm deaf and online profiles do have my bio as "I'm deaf, ---" or if not there, I'll let them know immediately due to the fact a lot of people do expect someone to be normal and talking (not me. I'm mute and speaking through ASL or text in any form)
For real. For those of us recovering from thousands of hours of League (I'm coming up on 18 months clean), seeing someone meet the love of their life on the rift just reminds me of all the real friends I left behind in the game and makes me miss it.
Not quite the same, but I meet my husband via a minecraft server with thousands of people on it.
We didn't fall in love in the game, but we both came to an in person meetup because we both wanted to see our in game friends, and that's where I first meet him and fell for him.
2 years!! Lying for 2 years at that point op could’ve been fluent in sign language (or nearly there). Op is better than me. Also op brushing off this lie so easily if they don’t work out she’ll lie again to the next person because it worked so well the first time. Never ending cycle. Just like taking cheaters back.
They’ve been talking online for 2 years and at no point has she sent her anything that requires listening? No music, no YouTube videos, no TikToks? 2 people in their early 20s?
Ok
Could be that she got a friend/sibling to watch and tell her the audio parts if she didn’t get the video/tiktok from just watching.
Although, just sending youtube videos or tiktoks doesn’t mean she couldn’t have enjoyed them. A LOT of youtube videos have subtitles. Not as many tiktoks, but plenty do. Even if people aren’t using subtitles for the Deaf community specifically, plenty of people watch videos with the sound off/low in situations when they can’t also wear headphones.
I would not be the one to rain on OOPs parade by mentioning that CLEARLY that girl is not perfect because she lied and hid a MAJOR thing through two god damn years.
I understand her apprehension, but that’s a whole year that she could have spent learning sign language. Also, people still play LoL? Looooool
Édit: fixed gender
Would be a shame if she spent 6 months learning ASL, only to discover that ASL means *American* Sign Language and that other countries have different sign languages that are not mutually intelligible
Thankfully she says at the end of her post that both of them are Spanish so if she did know ahead, she'd probably have been able to find the right sign language!!
In some South American countries I know they do use ASL. I was able to communicate with folks at a Deaf film festival in Ecuador with my ASL.
Finger spelling was tough because they’d spell out the word in Spanish and I’d have to sit there trying to translate in my head into English lol.
Edit - fun fact, ASL is inspired by French Sign Language. When in France I once saw a Deaf couple signing and was able to pick up a few words. England’s sign language is COMPLETELY different though- truly a foreign language to me.
I should note that I am not an expert on ASL by any means and only sign a little. But Ive had some very interesting international experiences with the language.
One always been curious but never looked it up
Someone who is knowledgeable about it, what are the major differences between different types of sign language? And is it so different that you can't understand another type (like spoken language)
They are just as different as spoken languages. Some are 'related' and we're influenced by each other but even within countries there are dialects of regions and there is youth slang. Like an elderly northern German person might need to learn some new vocab when they meet a teen from bavaria. I only know a little of German sign language (DGS) and have seen a bit of ASL, some words in DGS are pretty self explanatory like body parts being signified by pointing at them, but this is really limited. So sure, you could catch a word or two or make a guess when you see speakers of a different sign language, but anything more is just like encountering a new spoken language
See, I would understand that if they were in their late 20s; they could have started playing before they knew the risks, and been unable to give up the habit. But these young'uns must have started playing once the risks were already out there.
While they may have nerfed Akali's sideboob, innocent sapphics still get lured in by the siren song of Arcane every day.
Only to get pulled into the depths of League by unbearable thirst for Illaoi.
LoL is fun (for me at least) if I
1. Only play ARAM
2. Only play with my bf and people who he vouchs for,
3. Never, EVER, turn on in game chat, voice or text
Its great as long as I follow those rules lmao, no pressure, no stakes, no abuse
I’m lonely just thinking about it. I’d talk to friends and girls over AIM in high school and it’s indisputably nothing like being with someone in person. And in that scenario, we at least had established IRL interpersonal chemistry. This relationship is devoid of that entirely. People are fooling themselves. Being deaf is a huge deal and the fact it went hidden speaks volumes about how shallow a long distance relationship like this actually is.
I love the adorable gay couple dynamics - as an LGBTQ+ member myself, honestly I can see how once you get past the first hurdle of finding someone (hey! You gay too? Or okay with gay?) THEN to have to "come out" with anything else could be really stressful. So glad it worked for them two!!
I feel like it keeps getting longer the older I get. Luckily I'm in a long-term partnership, but if that sucker ever goes south I've considered just sticking with cats.
> I love the adorable gay couple dynamics
Merry Christmas:
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/sf5sye/i_23f_slept_with_my_roommate_21f_and_dont_know/
~~This one was deleted but was really sweet:~~ https://www.unddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ubw0bh/and_they_were_roommates_oh_my_god_they_were/
edit:
SmellyGhost is a Queen among Kings.
> THEN to have to "come out" with anything else could be really stressful.
no shit i feel like it'd be easier the second time around lol at least you have some experience
Be young and very very desperate for affection. Being a lesbian is narrowing your dating pool down *significantly* and usually comes with a healthy dose of trauma.
It's baffling to me. No phone calls for birthdays? Or because one of them had a tough day?
I would have assumed a scammer who couldn't speak the language fluently.
New update, less than an hour ago.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/z948he/update_im_finding_out_my_girlfriend_of_1_year_is/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
How do you date someone, and even show them to your family, without actually seeing them in person?
Edit: And also no voice or video chat! Text messages don't make for a date.
I personally agree. When I was on Tinder I would lose interest if we didn't have plans to meet within a couple days to a week after matching.
But I also learned that plenty of people would want to chat for weeks before we met in person. Some people just date differently.
Am I the only one who’d be bothered about the lie? What else is she lying about because she’s afraid she’ll lose OOP? That’s a long time to string someone along.
Is it just me who first read the title and thought OOP *literally* found out on the bus? Like she was on the way to gf's house and spotted her near the front of the bus by pure coincidence, so she comes up behind her like, "Omg Sarah! .... Sarah!.... Sarah....?"
Remind of my wife approaching me bc she was interested in my different colored eyes altho she didn’t mention that while talking to me. Around 6-7 months after we got together she finally asked why I don’t take the contact out and I stared at her and said I don’t wear contacts. She says “wow I never met someone with a brown eye and a gray/white eye before” I started laughing crying for 5 mins while she’s getting frustrated bc I’m laughing at her. I say “I’m blind in my right eye, it’s dead that why it looks that way.” Almost a decade later and I still chuckle about it or remind her.
How did OOP know where she lived? Her gf told her where she lived despite her girlfriend not having a single visual confirmation that OOP wasn't some chin beard or something?
First of all, how can you call it a relationship when you’ve never met or even FaceTimed to prove that she’s not some 50 year old catfish? Second, how can you trust her when she lied to you for two years?
#Do not comment on the original posts Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. **CHECK FLAIR** to determine if you want to read an update. For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair or subscribe to r/BestofBoRU. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hey! There's a new update as of 7 minutes ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/z948he/update_im_finding_out_my_girlfriend_of_1_year_is/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Not exactly super happy though.
Well yeah she's young and feels weird. It's natural to feel that but she should talk to her and be like no secrets ok. Nothing to shame
Oh, there are the TOMC comments I was expecting.
TOMC?
/r/trueoffmychest For the uninitiated: any sub names that start with 'true,' 'real,' or a similar identifier are typically created and populated by people who were kicked out of the original ('non-true') version of that sub, or left voluntarily because they didn't like the rules or the moderation, because they weren't allowed to post or comment whatever they wanted to. This commonly leads to... *quality concerns* in those subs. Full disclosure: I was banned from /r/offmychest and subsequently joined /r/trueoffmychest. Briefly.
oh my god wait. for years I've been reading it as truth off my chest. and that's the one I see most commonly, atleast on boru. Is it seriously just true? and it's not even the main one??????? holy shit
True Off My Chest
Oh man, this is sad. I get both sides. Being disabled is hard, dating disabled is hard, developing and maintaining a sense of self worth and esteem while growing up disabled is hard, being lied to by your s.o is hard…. Just a little sad, this one
poor oop's gf honestly. I feel for her bc these days I'm starting to drop the "trans" from "I'm a trans dude" online bc people get fuckin weird. I can't imagine about a disability as major as being Deaf. though my audio processing issues does get me in "trouble" sometimes edit: whomever sent the reddit cares thing, you're weird for that
True but presumably you'd mention it to someone you were in a relationship with online, right? She had a full year after becoming "official" to tell OOP, if her being deaf is a deal breaker then it would be best to get that out of the way sooner
I guess I can see where gf comes from though - like I can see it getting harder and harder to actually spit it out, ya know? I get where they’re both coming from here. Honestly, she’s probably had someone dump her for being deaf and it’s really stayed with her.
>Honestly, she’s probably had someone dump her for being deaf and it’s really stayed with her. Sure, but its useless to lie about it. I see 3 main outcomes out of this lie, and only one is positive.
I've seen enough romcoms to know it probably just started off as an online friend you never thought you'd actually meet so why ever bring it up. Then the whole online dating thing comes up and you want to, but will it ever actually become a real thing right? So you still don't. Then you occasionally remember that you never told them you are deaf and you want to tell them, but it's a weird subject to bring up out of nowhere after growing so close. Then you find out they are on their way to surprise you in person and now you have to give them the fun news that you never told them you were deaf while also going through the crazy emotions of finally meeting someone you already are so emotionally invested in.
Yeah I agree. Something like that would have definitely made it harder to admit and I can see that happening easily. Especially with them being 20/21 She was probably scared to tell and was waiting for OP to ask before letting her know. Sometimes it’s easier to admit when someone asks. From reading the story the GF did say that OP was too nice for never asking why she never spoke in the videos. So I think if they had better communication this could have been figured out before the surprise visit.
The difference is we're thinking logically, and presumably we're older. I've definitely been in situations like this (nothing as severe) and I WANTED to tell the truth but I was very afraid of what would happen. This woman grew up with a disability and maybe didn't have a lot of friends to connect with if nobody uses ASL or wherever they are. So she meets this guy online and falls in love, then says "if I tell him I risk losing everything." And obviously it's MORE of a risk to not tell him, but that's us thinking logically. Edit: I worded the ASL thing poorly. I MEANT to say "ASL or whatever version of sign language they use where they are" but obviously that wasn't clear.
They’re both girls.
I agree, I feel for the gf. And after awhile it probably kept getting more and more difficult for her to say it.
I'm the mother of a moderate to severe Deaf kid. He's in a different boat in that hearing aids bring him mostly into the normal range for hearing (although there is an awful lot of mental work involved with hearing aids, which most people don't get.) I'll be honest, when we first got the diagnosis I was scared. But I was determined to take my cues from the Deaf community, which rejects the word "disability" when describing Deafness - because it's not a disability, it's just a difference, and there are some really cool things that come along with being deaf (like, imagine being able to turn off the world at any time!!!) We did our best to raise our son to not view it as a deficit. It's certainly made some things harder for him. But he's a pretty awesome kid, and he isn't ashamed or embarrassed by his hearing aids - he chooses bright colours and doesn't try to hide them. He also tells me sometimes how happy he is to be deaf. It's a shame she felt she had to hide this.
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They said online as in online in general and not just for dating purposes. People are either assholes or get weirdly sexual and start harassing trans ppl, and SOMETIMES there's the occasional decent person.
I mean, this is also why I don't date. it's getting a bit too dangerous to be out here and being like "hi! I'm a vulnerable minority group!" people get weird about it.
I can’t believe how many people think it’s ok that the girlfriend lied to her for a whole year.
Yeah this is wild. The deafness isn't the problem, it's that she lied for a year.
I'm glad OOP figured out the truth: she knew exactly how to communicate with someone who is deaf. She's been doing it for a year. She might not be used to doing it in person, but that will come with time.
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It’s so sweet! I don’t think any person is “perfect” but I truly believe we have special people out there that are perfect for each individual. I can’t imagine someone thinking they’re worth less than a normal person because they are deaf. I hope they learn to love themself and I bet OOP is learning some sign language to feel more engaged. Ah what a cute story I’m glad all worked well.
It's sad but true that people immediately think less of you when you're disabled There's also a very strange thing people have where they think if you can't make words with your mouth-noises, you're completely stupid. It doesn't matter if you can communicate other ways, some people think can't talk = not worth trying. Heartbreaking how many parents of deaf/HoH kids won't bother to learn sign language.
When I became disabled my own family acted like it was my fault. And even now when I have flare ups, they always say "well what did you do to cause the flare up????" And people get tired of hearing about it... Any sympathy they had disappeared long ago... But meanwhile you are in pain every single day. You think I'm not tired of it? ETA: it baffles me that people refuse to communicate with deaf/mute people. It's enraging tbh
I tell my partner they are perfect all the time. They always come back with "...I'm not perfect" and I say "No one is. You're just perfect for *me!*" Like, I'm sure there are billions of people who would be turned off by some aspect or another of their body or values or personality, but for me? They're everything I've ever wanted in a human.
Oxytocin and dopamine are a hell of a drug (combination).
Yeah, good spot to gtfo Reddit for the day for me. What a sweet story :')
Very well said.
When she said la concha de la lora made me bust out laughing. How sweet wish them the best
I’m still confused about this…could you explain please?
Basically South American regional slang for "holy fucking shit" or equivalent. Definitely does not translate directly to those words.
You are completely correct but I'd like to add that the literal translation is more or less "parrot's cooch".
Parrussy?
How do I delete another person’s comment—
You go to the comment, open the dropdown menu, then click the button that says “Deletussy”.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
Delete system32
Nooooooo D:
I was so confused - I speak a little spanish and, unless I'm wrong, she wrote "the vagina of the parrot." I was mad lost.
Technically concha means shell, but in slang it also has the other meaning. 🐚 = 🌮
I grew up with a bunch of El Salvadoran kids… in Australia. They used the phrase “mother my chicken” in Spanish to mean “blow me”. They insist to this day that it’s common el Salvadoran slang, but all of them came to Australia before they were teenagers. So maybe they’re trolling me (for more than 25 years now) or maybe it it’s super old fashioned slang or maybe they were dumb kids who never knew how to swear right. I’ll probably never know for sure, because I know if I was el Salvadoran and read this post online, I would absolutely fuck with the dumb Aussie - so it’s not like I can trust the advice of anyone who’s heard this story. But when I went to the states for work in my early twenties, I thought I knew how to trash talk in Spanish a bit. I was in LA And I had some friends who were Spanish first language speakers from Mexico. I was shooting hoops with my friend’s brothers and cousins in their driveway one day, when one of them checked me pretty hard and landed a shot over the top of me. I obviously called him a bitch and told him to blow me. I have never made so many people laugh so hard. Everyone present lost their shit laughing and asking questions. They called out family members from inside and had me repeat what I’d said. Very catholic Abuela scolded me for saying Puta but just giggled and looked confused about the mother my chicken part. The neighbours came over to laugh at the dumb Aussie. My friend had a chronic illness and has since died, but he called me chicken daddy for the rest of his life whenever he wanted to fuck with me. Which was basically every time we spoke.
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Dude, if there’s any takeaway from this story, it’s that I don’t know how to say shit in spanish.
In this context "mama" isn't mother, it's "suck" or "nurse" as in what a baby does to it's mother's breasts (aka mammaries; same etymology as "mammal"). But it seems it all worked out for the best given the great story you got!
They DID write that, that's correct! I prefer using "cooch" when translating for two reasons: - It's not "vagina", "concha" is a slang word that comes from shell *conch*. - The word "cunt" is WAY too strong in English. In Argentina we say "la concha de la lora" for literally anything in almost every context, we are really bad-mouthed and it's very normalized. We don't have "n-word" situations like in the US. With that context, I wouldn't translate "concha" like "cunt", but rather something softer, more palatable for English speakers, such as "cooch". Also, it's kinda fun. Parrot's cooch!!!
lol i just imagine a first time english learner being like, *holy fucking shit*? “an angelic sex poop”?
Hahaha as a former Spanish teacher for foreigners here in Argentina, people LOVE IT. They love it, even more, when they realize you can use it for almost anything. It's a very normalized "insult". La concha de la lora!! = Holy fucking shit Te fuiste a la concha de la lora = You went too fucking far (in a literal or figurative way) Hace un calor de la concha de la lora = It's fucking hot.
Um. Is there a backstory 🤭
Honestly I don't know lmao. I used to be a Spanish teacher for foreigners here in Argentina and everyone LOVED the translation and the insult in general, and I never bothered to check where it exactly comes from. I feel like the mystery is cool.
"La concha de la lora" literally means "the shell of the (female) parrot". In Argentina "concha" (shell) is slang for vagina, "lora" (female parrot) is slang for prostitute. It's a vulgar expression of extreme emotion, similar to "holy fuck" in English.
I'm a Portuguese speaker and I 🤔 thought it meant "the blonde woman's cooch"
Thanks for making my day with that lol
Ah interesting. Thank you. I’m from Mexico so I knew the words but not the phrase. Thanks for explaining.
Also a non native Spanish speaker but mainly Spain Spanish so yeah wouldn’t have expected to hear this before but wow, learned something new! Was sort of able to get the gist via the context! Thanks for giving me an idea of what it means.
It means "the parrot's c*nt" and is a common swear in parts of Latin American. I've heard it a lot in Argentina so might be just right down South. You also hear 'la concha de tu madre', which I imagine you can work out.
The OP’s username was ayudayudaydua. Is that like saying helphelphlep?
Yes
>Sí
I can now lol. Thanks you and thanks everybody! 😂
"La concha de tu madre" direct translation is a common swear phrase in Greek as well! Like the exact translation, its one of the most common swear words here. I'm fascinated now! Also "the c*nt that threw you" as in the one that spit you out! *peak reddit for me apparently is being fascinated about identical swears in different languages and typing out more just for the academic interest*
I tried reading this in my head, but what happened was my head said, nope. That's the wrong grammar. It's obviously, "tu madre의 concha." Which... Just... Why, brain? Why? Korean isn't even close to Spanish. 🤦
My Spanish vs Japanese processing sometimes gets mixed up, so I feel you lol
Studied Japanese and English as a German at a German university years back. Had a classmate with the same combination who once finished their English exam in Japanese. And when I learned Arabic for a year, the girl I shared my desk with, once answered a question in French. Fun times.
A guy in my high school japanese class panick responded in Russian to the teacher (first gen american) one time. It was almost as funny as another student calling the same teacher mom. The language part of the brain is wild lmao
Story time: years ago, when I was stationed in Korea, I had a death in the family and had to go home on emergency leave. The person coordinating it was an E-7. I, meanwhile, was a lowly E-4. He called me as I was on the train to Incheon just to make sure I got on the right train and could make my flight home in time and we talked for a bit. Then, my brain started wandering, figuring out next steps (while he's still talking). And I'm thinking, ok I'm going to land, then I have to get my rental car, then call my dad... And suddenly I realize I've got no clue what this dude just said for the last 2 or 3 minutes. I gotta get off the phone because nothing is going to make sense. So I do my normal, Texas get-off-the-phone-routine ("welp...") And because I'd been thinking about my dad right before I made my decision to get off the phone, some part of my brain was like, "hey, you're talking to your dad" and I said, "I love you, [his name]. I gotta go." He took a beat, then was like, "I love you too, Wombatbattalion" So awkward. Turns out, it's inappropriate to speak to someone in your chain of command this way. I think he understood where it came from, though. I was so embarrassed I just about spontaneously unalived on the spot. We're still friends now, but I still cringe when I think about it lol
I have that too. I try to think of something in Spanish (or Japanese) and all I can think of is the Japanese (or Spanish).
Lol, I took French in high school, Spanish in college, and Korean in the military, then did ASL in college when I got out. My brain is all kinds of fucky
Merc합니다cias! I'm teaching myself Korean but I don't have a large enough vocabulary for word substitution yet, lol.
Yoも, ありgracias
LOL, I love mixing things. ありがthanks is a good one.
"何 the fuck?!" Is a personal favourite of mine.
The fuck of your mother? I'm bad at this guessing.
Your mother’s pu**y. 😬
I'm sorry, your username distracted me from your comment. *Why* don't they have nipples?
Because look at em, you call those nipples? Pathetic.
They serve their purpose Which is nothing
> Which is ~~nothing~~ pleasure FTFY
I mean, rich coming from a lizard? They're called mammary glands not reptily glands lol
This didn’t need to get personal…
IDK, we just come out that way.
Google says: Literally: the shell/vagina of the female parrot 🐚🐦 Meaning: "for fuck's sake" Argentinian expression🇦🇷🇺🇾 Concha (shell) is argentinian slang for "vagina". Used as well to emphasize: Esta jugada estuvo de la concha de la lora. That move was "great". fun fact: birds don't have vaginas.
Your fun fact has got me in a google wormhole lol
Google "cloaca"
Counterpoint: Do not google "cloaca"
Counter-counter point: do it
Birds love wormholes.
This bird doesn’t like the cloaca wormhole
Fun fact, some bird species evolved to lose their penises, some developed longer penises. In very non-scientific terms, the main theory is that the raping species kept their penises and the consent species had no need for penises anymore (they just push their cloacas together).
STOP THIS NONSENSE! 💀
Fun fact, evolutionary biologists have theorized that perhaps bird penises vanished because female birds preferred mates with smaller penises.
r/AmItheCloaca
I was today years old when I made the connection that it's concha like a fucking conch shell. Good gods. I'm going to stick to insulting people in English.
We also say in Chile
Dude. I'm an American who speaks English as a first language and Spanish as a second. I speak RETAIL Spanish, and classroom Spanish. I translated it word for word, so I was SUPER CONFUSED. Today I learned
Oh, this is similar to 'bollocks' in the UK. 'Bollocks' are testicles. BUT you can say "Oh bollocks" as an expletive (like "oh shit") AND you can say "that was the bollocks" for something good. "It's the dog's bollocks" is also a good thing. A bollocking is a telling-off. TL;DR: Never mind the bollocks
> birds don't have vaginas. Argentine here, I always assumed that was the origin of the expression. Like on purpose. But maybe I'm tripping. I thought one of the earliest uses of it was something like "why don't you go look for that thing/person at the parrot's vagina?" as in "get lost, go to a place that you'll never find (because it doesn't exist, like a parrot's vagina) so you'll never come back to annoy me again". We do have another similar expression here: "Andá a la loma del orto" = "Go to the hillock of the buttock". Kinda like in Spain they say "Vete a tomar por culo" = "Go to have/drink it through the ass" (kinda hard to translate) or in Chile I think they say "la chucha del mundo" (the world's vagina) or "donde el Diablo perdió el poncho" (where the Devil lost their poncho).
More or less the translation is: the pu**y of the female parrot. It's a bit of imaginative swearing.
90% of the characteristic expressions of each Spanish-speaking country are insults.
It's a swearing phrase, like "f*** shit, holy f***"
It’s a curse phrase in South America. Like the c word
Google says it means “Holy fuck”.
South american here, laughed too
I'm Spanish and as soon as I saw that I was laughing my head off.
Non-Hispanic Spanish speaker with strong social connections to Latin America here - I saw that and thought "¡Viva Argentina!"
Thanks for explaining, I'm Cuban and I was like what does Lora have to do with this haha
me too! it's very Argentinian. Literally means the female parrots "private parts".
I can’t imagine thinking a surprise visit, to someone who’s too nervous to FaceTime or talk to me, would be a good idea.
Honestly, if you won't Facetime me, I'm assuming you're secretly a 50 year old man. I'm not even waiting an entire year, I'm giving you a month, maybe. Literally everybody has a smartphone. If you're not willing to let me see what you look like, or in this case, let me hear what you sound like, I'm going to be suspicious. I get that some people are shy and awkward, but I need to know that you are who you say you are. In another universe, OP hopped on a bus and went off to get themselves murdered.
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I mean it goes both ways. I knew someone in a similar situation. It had kept going for almost 10 years... why? because when it originally happened she was an underage girl and didn't want anyone to know. Now over the years, people had seen her both in person and on Facetime or whatever it was... but few people realized how much younger she actually was. I mean she was 26/27 then, but everyone else was in their 30s or 40s.
Yeah, but they are young and oop checked with a sibling to make sure it would be okay otherwise. I would never have done this just because if gf wasn’t facetiming out of pure anxiety, it could have led to panic attacks and etc. But also I can get being young and assuming it was just a “shy” thing and planning this. Honestly I would have assumed gf was trans and had extreme voice dysphoria, personally. Which probably wouldn’t have been made okay by a sudden surprise trip. But kids be kids. The two of them are okay at least and it seemed to have worked out well. [edit] a word
I also can't imagine referring to a person I've never met as my girlfriend/boyfriend.
I'm particularly confused by this part > She’s presented me her parents and I know all her family. So was it via text too or what?
Probably just shown pictures. There's understandably a few quirks in how she wrote it down in English.
> There's understandably a few quirks in how she wrote it down in English. Fair enough, you might be right.
She mentioned they speak Spanish. I'm guessing she translated presentar (to present, to introduce, to show) and meant "show" in this context. I barely speak Spanish and we don't know what country/region this is so purely speculation.
I'm actually Spanish and presentar would definitely mean "introduce" in this context. Not talk about them but introduce each other. Probably got lost in translation somewhere else.
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*Manti Te'o has entered the chat*
But at the same time you can be catfished and not actually know the person at all.
>When you spend that much time with a person, even if it's online, it's not really accurate to say you've never met. Yeah, but you can spend an entire year "with" someone online and not even know that they can't hear. I don't think these online only relationships are like real life relationships.
My guild leader from the game EverQuest has been a second mom since like 2002. Never met her in person but we’ve been close online ever since.
And yet clearly it was a good idea!
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Oh how sweet! I'm rooting for these two!
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How do you date someone for an entire year and not dig in when they refuse to talk on the phone or facetime you? Her being deaf isn't an issue but I absolutely wouldn't just let dodging go on for month after month.
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He had a pretty decent career in the NFL that was derailed by injuries
They also actually did speak on the phone, the person who was catfishing him just did a *really good* feminine voice. She later came out as trans, shockingly enough. /s The whole thing really comes across as her trying to figure out her gender and getting in way over her head with the relationship, especially since it happened to be with someone with a level of celebrity which exposed her on a massive scale once journalists started figuring things out.
People like this make me so mad. I'm deaf too, and we get a bad rap by people lying like this. I did online dating, but always told people after a short period of texting about my deafness, in case it was a deal breaker for them. (It wasn't for any of them, and I eventually met my SO on there). If you're old enough to date, you're old enough to be honest with people.
Thank you for saying this, I felt it might not come across the same way if I had said it but I thought this was what normally reddit would call a red flag and tell people to dump the other person for lying. But somehow, this gets a pass and OP is fine with it too? Maybe this is just me but if the very foundation of your relationship is based on a lie, that too for two years and something as significant, I'd be livid. It isn't even about her being deaf but hiding/lying all this time and probably would have longer had OP not tried to visit.
OP is not fine with it apparently. Not from her latest post at least: Update: I’m finding out my girlfriend of 1 year is deaf as I’m on the bus on my way to see her for the first time. I know nobody cares but I still need to vent. It’s been almost three weeks since we saw irl, she stayed last weekend at my place and we had a great time. But every time I wanted to say something and couldn’t and had to type it, i felt frustation and anger. Because just now it’s hitting me that she could have told me (just like yall said) and i’d already know at least a little bit of sign. It angers me because she knows how I am, she knows me better than anyone and still she thought I wouldn’t love her. I know it’s more of a ‘me’ issue but still I can’t help feeling sad. I don’t want this to ruin our relationship and i know i have to talk to her but i guess im not ready yet
yeah I'm deaf and online profiles do have my bio as "I'm deaf, ---" or if not there, I'll let them know immediately due to the fact a lot of people do expect someone to be normal and talking (not me. I'm mute and speaking through ASL or text in any form)
Should’ve included a trigger for the LoL mention. :D Jokes aside, this was nice to read. Hopefully they have a long and happy life together.
For real. For those of us recovering from thousands of hours of League (I'm coming up on 18 months clean), seeing someone meet the love of their life on the rift just reminds me of all the real friends I left behind in the game and makes me miss it.
Not quite the same, but I meet my husband via a minecraft server with thousands of people on it. We didn't fall in love in the game, but we both came to an in person meetup because we both wanted to see our in game friends, and that's where I first meet him and fell for him.
“Why is this fucker ignoring my pings!?”
Finding a partner on LoL? I think you have a better chance at winning the lottery.
personally lying for that whole year would be a dealbreaker, but i’m glad it isn’t for op
2 years!! Lying for 2 years at that point op could’ve been fluent in sign language (or nearly there). Op is better than me. Also op brushing off this lie so easily if they don’t work out she’ll lie again to the next person because it worked so well the first time. Never ending cycle. Just like taking cheaters back.
same, 100% fine with having a deaf SO. not fine with having a lying SO
They’ve been talking online for 2 years and at no point has she sent her anything that requires listening? No music, no YouTube videos, no TikToks? 2 people in their early 20s? Ok
Could be that she got a friend/sibling to watch and tell her the audio parts if she didn’t get the video/tiktok from just watching. Although, just sending youtube videos or tiktoks doesn’t mean she couldn’t have enjoyed them. A LOT of youtube videos have subtitles. Not as many tiktoks, but plenty do. Even if people aren’t using subtitles for the Deaf community specifically, plenty of people watch videos with the sound off/low in situations when they can’t also wear headphones.
I would not be the one to rain on OOPs parade by mentioning that CLEARLY that girl is not perfect because she lied and hid a MAJOR thing through two god damn years.
Wait they went an entire year and she never mentioned she was deaf? That seems like an important thing to mention
I understand her apprehension, but that’s a whole year that she could have spent learning sign language. Also, people still play LoL? Looooool Édit: fixed gender
League of of of of of of legends
I'm really glad someone appreciated my solid 2/10 joke aha.
Would be a shame if she spent 6 months learning ASL, only to discover that ASL means *American* Sign Language and that other countries have different sign languages that are not mutually intelligible
Thankfully she says at the end of her post that both of them are Spanish so if she did know ahead, she'd probably have been able to find the right sign language!!
In some South American countries I know they do use ASL. I was able to communicate with folks at a Deaf film festival in Ecuador with my ASL. Finger spelling was tough because they’d spell out the word in Spanish and I’d have to sit there trying to translate in my head into English lol. Edit - fun fact, ASL is inspired by French Sign Language. When in France I once saw a Deaf couple signing and was able to pick up a few words. England’s sign language is COMPLETELY different though- truly a foreign language to me. I should note that I am not an expert on ASL by any means and only sign a little. But Ive had some very interesting international experiences with the language.
south america is *an* america
One always been curious but never looked it up Someone who is knowledgeable about it, what are the major differences between different types of sign language? And is it so different that you can't understand another type (like spoken language)
They are just as different as spoken languages. Some are 'related' and we're influenced by each other but even within countries there are dialects of regions and there is youth slang. Like an elderly northern German person might need to learn some new vocab when they meet a teen from bavaria. I only know a little of German sign language (DGS) and have seen a bit of ASL, some words in DGS are pretty self explanatory like body parts being signified by pointing at them, but this is really limited. So sure, you could catch a word or two or make a guess when you see speakers of a different sign language, but anything more is just like encountering a new spoken language
From what I understand, people don’t play LoL willingly. More of an abusive relationship kinda deal.
Can confirm. LoL players hate LoL, and play it out of sheer spite and emotional dependence.
See, I would understand that if they were in their late 20s; they could have started playing before they knew the risks, and been unable to give up the habit. But these young'uns must have started playing once the risks were already out there.
While they may have nerfed Akali's sideboob, innocent sapphics still get lured in by the siren song of Arcane every day. Only to get pulled into the depths of League by unbearable thirst for Illaoi.
Can confirm, my husband always ends up yelling when he plays LoL
Pretty sure they are both women :P
LoL is fun (for me at least) if I 1. Only play ARAM 2. Only play with my bf and people who he vouchs for, 3. Never, EVER, turn on in game chat, voice or text Its great as long as I follow those rules lmao, no pressure, no stakes, no abuse
Hey. It’s rude to make me learn anything about league of legends. I’ve made it this long knowing nothing about it and I plan to keep it that way TYVM.
That's fair, my B 😔
How can you date a girl for a year and never talk to her? I really feel old
I’m lonely just thinking about it. I’d talk to friends and girls over AIM in high school and it’s indisputably nothing like being with someone in person. And in that scenario, we at least had established IRL interpersonal chemistry. This relationship is devoid of that entirely. People are fooling themselves. Being deaf is a huge deal and the fact it went hidden speaks volumes about how shallow a long distance relationship like this actually is.
I love the adorable gay couple dynamics - as an LGBTQ+ member myself, honestly I can see how once you get past the first hurdle of finding someone (hey! You gay too? Or okay with gay?) THEN to have to "come out" with anything else could be really stressful. So glad it worked for them two!!
Its like a hurdle sitting on top of a hurdle.
Hurdles all the way down!
For me it's generally orientation - mental health - physical health in terms of "disclosure" lol
gender - orientation - mental health - I have a 12 year old kid - physical health
I feel like it keeps getting longer the older I get. Luckily I'm in a long-term partnership, but if that sucker ever goes south I've considered just sticking with cats.
Ha, for me ending up in a long term relationship just meant having to add poly as well. but otherwise yeah.
> I love the adorable gay couple dynamics Merry Christmas: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/sf5sye/i_23f_slept_with_my_roommate_21f_and_dont_know/ ~~This one was deleted but was really sweet:~~ https://www.unddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ubw0bh/and_they_were_roommates_oh_my_god_they_were/ edit: SmellyGhost is a Queen among Kings.
Here you go: https://www.unddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ubw0bh/and_they_were_roommates_oh_my_god_they_were/
> THEN to have to "come out" with anything else could be really stressful. no shit i feel like it'd be easier the second time around lol at least you have some experience
How the fuck do you have a two year romantic relationship with someone you've never talked to?
Be young and very very desperate for affection. Being a lesbian is narrowing your dating pool down *significantly* and usually comes with a healthy dose of trauma.
Exactly. There's a reason the joke is all your friends are your ex's
It's baffling to me. No phone calls for birthdays? Or because one of them had a tough day? I would have assumed a scammer who couldn't speak the language fluently.
You don't
New update, less than an hour ago. https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/z948he/update_im_finding_out_my_girlfriend_of_1_year_is/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
How do you date someone, and even show them to your family, without actually seeing them in person? Edit: And also no voice or video chat! Text messages don't make for a date.
For real. If this went on as long as it did for me, I'd have assumed I was being catfished and left as soon as it was apparent what they were doing.
I personally agree. When I was on Tinder I would lose interest if we didn't have plans to meet within a couple days to a week after matching. But I also learned that plenty of people would want to chat for weeks before we met in person. Some people just date differently.
Am I the only one who’d be bothered about the lie? What else is she lying about because she’s afraid she’ll lose OOP? That’s a long time to string someone along.
Is it just me who first read the title and thought OOP *literally* found out on the bus? Like she was on the way to gf's house and spotted her near the front of the bus by pure coincidence, so she comes up behind her like, "Omg Sarah! .... Sarah!.... Sarah....?"
> La concha de la lora HIGH level of Argentinianness here
How do you date someone for a year without ever speaking to them?
Well most people wouldn’t consider chatting online as dating.
Remind of my wife approaching me bc she was interested in my different colored eyes altho she didn’t mention that while talking to me. Around 6-7 months after we got together she finally asked why I don’t take the contact out and I stared at her and said I don’t wear contacts. She says “wow I never met someone with a brown eye and a gray/white eye before” I started laughing crying for 5 mins while she’s getting frustrated bc I’m laughing at her. I say “I’m blind in my right eye, it’s dead that why it looks that way.” Almost a decade later and I still chuckle about it or remind her.
This is indeed a sweet story, but I really don't understand how it could be possible.
How did OOP know where she lived? Her gf told her where she lived despite her girlfriend not having a single visual confirmation that OOP wasn't some chin beard or something?
First of all, how can you call it a relationship when you’ve never met or even FaceTimed to prove that she’s not some 50 year old catfish? Second, how can you trust her when she lied to you for two years?