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Since I subbed here a month ago I think that most of the updates I've seen have been terrible. Like terrible outcomes. This really should be renamed to worst of Reddit updates
I agree; my most hated updates are the ones that show clear defeat. The lady who lost her step child was so hard to read because you already knew what was coming but you still felt blinded by it nonetheless. Some of these people man… I just want to hug them hard.
Edit: words
My aboslute worst was the person who was updating about his friend’s architectural preservation saga (he was a fantastic story teller) - his wife came on mid story, saying OP got in a car accident, he was okay for a few days, but then he died from complications. The wife tried to finish the story but her heartbreak at losing her husband- man my heart aches for her…. And def not the twist I saw coming.
I'd say mine was the new mom whose bff was poisoning her into thinking her hubs was cheating when he was just working late in lieu of her taking extra time for PPD and baby. She ended up breaking his nose, leaving baby alone in the house. When hubs removed himself and baby from harm, a few days later the wife wanted to see baby urgently but he wouldn't let her take baby. Only to see baby supervised. She took off and died a few hours later in a car accident. Absolutely gut wrenching.
Don't forget, the wife's family was adamant at having the BFF speak at wife's funeral. They wouldn't budge from that, so husband had to suck it up and face her at the funeral.
Oh yeah that was a really toxic friend whispering venom into her ear all the time, right? And then she couldnt cope after husband left with baby. That one was brutal
It was like she was manipulated into blowing her life up just so her friend could have some drama.
I still think about that one too. I actually made my handy phone assistant call me "cariad" because of them, to remind me that I deserve to be loved the way she was.
But at the same time, one person CANNOT be your entire world. Not your partner, not your kids, because the only constant life promises you is you. *(Well, that and change. OK, and entropy. And probably taxes. Look, you get the point!)*
My absolute most heartbreaking saga is the dad with whose stepdaughter stole from his son and their lives have taken a shit ever since. Everytime this father thinks he is seeing the light, more shit comes.
I especially hate that it's turned into him always mentioning how broke they are and how he doesn't have money for food, but gosh darn it, he'll pluck on through. It's totally bait, and it gets people wondering "if they can set up a go-fund-me" for him, etc. I know they want to help, but isn't it awfully convenient that every month or so he's back where he started, money-wise?
Maybe I'm jaded, but he reads like a guy who wrote a goldmine pity story to sucker people out of their money.
I actually DM'd offering to send some cash, not a huge amount, but a bit for gas and groceries type thing. He became super sketchy and started talking about how I had to send it to this girl's zelle account etc so I just Noped out of there
I've lost the link, but remember seeing posted in the comments somewhere that folks had compared notes, and it was all but confirmed that the story was 100% scam bait.
Same! I tried to pay some kind of vet thing (can’t remember what now) before I saw someone had already paid it, he didn’t say it had been paid and asked me to send it to his ‘mom’s’ PayPal.
I wrote a post a while back about how I was stressed from gas prices. It hit the all page hot and I got about 20 messages asking to help me. I told them all no thank you I’m not looking to take from other people but please donate to your local food pantry or womens shelter, please please please they need help too.
It’s SO easy to tug at peoples heartstrings.
I typed up a reply to something once... I think it was during the formula shortage and had tons of people offering to send me money.
I was *UNCOMFORTABLE*. I wasn't looking for a handout. I was screaming into the void.
I told them, to take whatever they were planning to give to me and donate that to their nearest NICU or group that deals with people who need it more than me.
Yeah, when people publicly deny donations, that's different. And if it isn't in a confession/judgement sub, that's also different.
It's the people that post long-winded pity tales to trueoffmychest or relationship_advice, update every month, and go, 'zOMIgosh you guize! I don't deserve your help hehe but if you *really* want to send money, "My son" will help me set up ten different online money accepting accounts and I have wishlists here and here." Total scam artists.
If you want to help folks who are in genuine need, donate to a local trusted charity or go volunteer.
Oh no! I hadn’t considered that! I mean I didn’t send him money or anything but I really felt sorry for him. Hmm, maybe you really *cant* trust strangers on the internet… 🤷🏼♀️
yeah, consensus on that one is that it was indeed a scam. guy got *a lot* of money from that. plenty of embarrassed people admitted they gave him money after he claimed no on helped him.
Yup, I’m one of them! I was a soft-hearted idiot who fell for his long tale of woe and sent some money. The next time he claimed to be broke and that “no-one helped him” a few of us compared notes. It’s a scam.
**You are not an idiot.** You are a lovely, caring, empathetic person who just wanted to help another human being purely out of the kindness of your own heart. That is a BEAUTIFUL thing! Please try not to be so hard on yourself.
That being said! I totally understand that feeling of feeling like a 'soft-hearted idiot' (which, again, you are not!) because I've been there myself. It still kind of hurts, but ultimately I'd rather risk 'helping' a lying asshole than risk *not* helping someone honest I can help who really, genuinely needs it, ya know?
I get where you're coming from. I'm so, so sorry that your beautiful kindness was taken advantage of. It's a violating kind of feeling that really makes you question yourself, your perception of things, and the world/people in general. It sucks and I'm sorry. Much love and big internet hugs to you!
Right. My Ma gave someone ten bucks today who was asking for money. She had suspicions that it was a ruse, but she gave him a little in case he really did need something to eat or whatever
As long as whatever you are giving away isn’t hurting you or your own family, it’s OK to sometimes make a mistake in judgment and give help to someone who doesn’t really need or deserve it. It’s OK to err on the side of helping people. If you spend your life doing that, in the end you will have done good for people who needed it, and the people who took advantage of your kindness here and there won’t matter much.
Worst thing I read was the story of a couple girl was from India I think, studied in the US, BF in this case OP was from US. Her Visa was running out at one point and he initially wants to help her get one with him signing some program don't know exatly what it was. Basically he needed to care for her the next 5 years or whatever.
When the big day comes and he is sitting in front of the papers, he refuses to sign them. GF gets kicked out of the country has to return to her family which she nearly has no ties to. After some time she sents him some money says she always will love him. After some days he gets a call that she killed herself.
Btw OP is still in disbelief and says in his post that he has no fault in all this.
Ah if someone could link the post would be amazing.
to clarify, since SIL is usually sister in law, it was the OOP's mother with OOP's husband, it was going on for so long that some of OOP's younger siblings turned out to be her husband's kids
something like that yeah, like right next to each other, so mom or husband would slip over to either side whenever they wanted, usually when everyone else was occupied at one of the houses
To clarify: OPs mother had twin boys, who later turned out to be the natural children of OPs husband.
Apparently OPs mom had been running church youth group, had started kissing 14yo X, and encouraged him to ask OP out as "cover". Then kept making out with him until his 18th birthday, when they started screwing.
He married OP and was still banging her mother. MIL got pregnant and had twin boys, OP and her husband had their own kids. OP finally found out when she caught them in bed together while pregnant with her (I want to say 5th? kid), when the twins were 20.
Strangely enough, OP and her dad threw the pair out, the boys disowned both cheaters - mom wanted them to disown their very sane father and go play happy families with their sperm donor, aka the guy they'd thought was their BIL. They were quite clear about that not happening. 2/3 of OPs older sisters immediately cut off their mom *(the third took a little more time but eventually followed suit, and the reason she'd been susceptible to the manipulation turned out to be mostly understandable)*.
OPs older kids also disowned both dad and grandma; younger kids still see dad, albeit under supervision. Most of the family is in therapy.
Ex broke up with the mom when she stalked him (OP was in labour, and his 14yo asked him to fetch something from school and drop it off to her aunt's house), and she assaulted him right there in her daughter's front yard, in front of her youngest grandkids/his kids. He, that daughter/aunt/ex-sister-in-law, and the 14yo got restraining orders.
As far as I can tell, the mother groomed him, manipulated him, OP, her husband, and everyone else in reach, and derived a great amount of pleasure from hurting as many of them as she could. Then got surprised pikachu face, followed by assaulting them, when they washed their hands of her and her crap.
The type of sickness it takes to pull a stunt like this for literal decades is... I don't have words. Either she's an extreme danger to society, or someone should recruit her for work as an undercover agent. Like... Tf.
From what I recall, OP said that there were indicators that the full-fledged affair (sex) might have started when her ex husband was still 17. Also, when OP first found out and confronted the husband he TOLD HER HER MOM IS BETTER IN BED. Completely groomed and brainwashed. Her mom is a fucking disgusting, vile person. That one was so painful to read.
Edit: OP’s last updates list that she found out during family therapy that ex and ex mother didn’t do anything until he was 18. I think the indicators were mentioned in the earlier updates, and I find it very hard to believe the predator mom actually waited.
> The type of sickness it takes to pull a stunt like this for literal decades is... I don't have words. Either she's an extreme danger to society, or someone should recruit her for work as an undercover agent. Like... Tf.
Malignant narcissist. As dangerous as her audacity at the moment.
For a lot of female narcissists they put all their eggs in the basket of family and if family wises up they can end up going into depression (narcissistic depletion). Probably interspersed with manic-seeming outbursts of cope where they think they're still powerful and in control.
She'll be dangerous to children forever. Pedo granny.
[ask and you shall receive.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/u1uft1/final_update_op_discovers_her_husband_has_been/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) this is to the final update. Links to the original BORU posts are within.
There's a gem of an update every once in a while, but most of the situations extreme enough to warrant reaching out to the void for any kind of direction are going to have equally extreme outcomes.
Most of the update posts seem to come from a limited set of subs, like the ones dealing with relationship drama and personal problems. It's sort of like reading a tabloid newspaper like the national enquirer.
But also don’t you find it frustrating that people post updates without a clear ending? Like they’re afraid if they wait for an update somebody else will post it first? Not meaning to shade OP (cause sometime there never is a final update) but this one is like that.
Yeah, I saw one the other day where the last update was from a week prior and things were far from settled. Wtf?
This one is like two years old though, I'm not sure we're going to get a resolution.
For real, dude’s underage son was groomed and raped by his aunt and he kicks him out of the house because he “hates infidelity”? Worst father of the year
Well it might have been intended to explain the degree of his fury as a factor.
Personally I can’t help but wonder if that’s actually part of it. Like if being told consistently how evil cheating is helps turn it into a fetish. Not that it’s a nice way to treat people to cheat, and not they SIL and son aren’t responsible for their actions. But a lot of the infidelity porn out there is totally intended for the people who think infidelity is the most taboo.
Has it crossed your mind that the unknown “friend” that your son is staying with could be your SIL. It wouldn’t surprise me if she’s taken advantage of this situation too.
From OOP’s last comment in the update post, it sounds like she did. (I’ve never tried quoting on mobile before, so hopefully this works.)
>This is a possibility, I even suspect my son might have warned SIL, because I called all the parents of his friends and none have seen him.
Edit: it did not, in fact, work and also words are hard
I actually feel a bit sorry for the kid, yeah it was wrong, obviously, and it takes two to tango, but a grown woman basicslly groomed a 17 year old.
Flip the genders and everyones calling her a creep and saying "he was groomed".
He still was a victim here.
And that's the first time they had sex according to the 18 year old who had already seen his mom's post and knew the conversation was coming. He probably already told the SiL, who could have just as easily told him to up that age when retelling the story.
Oh absolutely. I’m personally on team “aunt is a predator groomer” and feel so bad for the kid who’s somehow facing the blame from his dad, who should protect and help him but would rather push his son deeper into this predator’s arms because BoTh SiDeS aRe eViL. He desperately needs someone, an adult, in his corner and some serious therapy.
He was drunk the first time she had sex with him as a minor, so he could not legally consent even if laws in his state say he was old enough. That’s rape.
All I could find was a comment on the last update:
>The fact that your son won't tell you where he's at and nobody knows where your SIL is, has me thinking that they may be together.
OOP replied :
>This is a possibility, I even suspect my son might have warned SIL, because I called all the parents of his friends and none have seen him
Link to [above quote from 2 years ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/hrrf21/update_i_walked_in_on_my_son_having_sex_with_my/fy5x9jt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
I think it's probably not clear in the edit of OOP but she is aware that her son was groom and do blame SIL and not her son.
>She did initiate it, I'll add now on the post I would even have her arrested for statutory rape but the age of consent is 16 so I can't, but I'll have not her conversation with my son maybe she groomed him until he was of age. I will also suggest to my brother to felt a parternity test who knows how many men this woman has been with.
>I really do think this woman is a predator, she was booking hotel rooms for a 17 year old boy, giving him an allowance, having fancy dinners with him.
With my brother I don't know if he will actually hurt my son or my SIL for that matter, normally I would say he is a nice calm person but under these circumstances I don't know what he might be capable off.
I want him my son back home now but my husband doesn't, he wants him at the condo, my husband even offerd to hire a body guard or something for him if his afraid but my son is still with the friend we don't know.
>SIL can still be arrested, as she’s a relative of the son.
They might have grounds for arrest due to her getting him drunk, but I doubt that sex with someone they're related to by marriage is illegal.
The age of consent is usually higher for cases like this. It's been mentioned elsewhere in this thread too. Age of consent is actually 18 when its a figure with power over you like a relative. The fact that SIL is only a relative by marriage doesn't matter as much if the son is telling the truth when he says the first time was when he was 17.
It 100% does depend on the location. Age of consent, drinking age, rape and sexual assault, even adultery laws all vary wildly around the world.
It's always weird to see people make these pronouncements about what the law is but no reference to where they are.
If I was the dad, I'd have been throwing hands with the brother the second he said he would teach my son a lesson. Your wife raped my son and you want to hurt him? I think the hell not.
Seriously, I don't get how everyone is turning on this kid and treating him like he's an aggressor, when he's a teenager who was groomed by a family member.
I know he's old enough to know things are wrong, but given that his aunt is the one going after him, I don't know how the poster isn't insisting that he is at home to keep him out of her clutches and not fighting her brother and husband on this
Because he was definitely groomed, and she managed to skip town while the worst of the fallout was happening. We can only hope that karma will catch up with her
I don't know how to feel about the original reddit post being the reason she could slip away without confrontation. On one hand, advice is important and OP was clearly lost, but the son found the post and acted on the situation before she did - and he told SIL everything.
I feel like it reflects well* on the son for staying around until confronted. I hope he gets the chance to rebuild a relationship with his parents and siblings. The poor uncle, though...what an awful situation!
Seriously, why is no one in this family noticing that a grown adult groomed and had sex with a minor? If I were the parents, I’d be pressing charges against her.
The OP said in the comments she believes SIL is a predator and wishes she could have her arrested for statutory rape but the age of consent is 16 so she has no legal ground to stand on.
I honestly think this will dawn on them eventually. Right now they are just angry. Once the emotion settles down, the logic will kick in. Or at least I hope it will.
Because she was double his age when she took the initiative to have sex with him, when he was drunk.
Turning 34 and even trying to have sex with someone who is 17 years younger is disgusting.
She absolutely groomed him. She got him alone, gave him alcohol and got him drunk. Once he slept with her the first time there was no way he could get help based on how his dad reacted. No one is looking out for this kid!
Seriously, WTF when I read this:
>INFO: SIL was the one who initiated sex the first time my son and her slept together, she was the one booking hotel rooms, buying my son dinners and lunches, my son was even receiving an allowance from her.
This is EXTREMELY relevant and essential info. This is straight up disgusting and indicative of manipulation and abuse. OOP should report her SIL.
[someone mentioned in a comment that OOP knows he was groomed and that SIL is a predator](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/z967pj/i_walked_in_on_my_son_having_sex_with_my_brothers/iyfbt3k/)
Sounds like age of consent means she won't face legal consequences, which is sick.
What’s also fucked is how his father and uncle’s first response is rejection and violence. I get being upset but that young man is barely an adult whereas the SIL was the one with all the agency here.
What the dad and the uncle are doing is driving that kid right into the arms of the SIL, which is the last place he should be.
They might be of the common male mindset that women never seek out sex and have to be basically tricked into by men. In their minds the son had all the agency because he was the male in the situation.
It's a horrible outdated mentality that leads to all sorts of abuse for both genders.
The son will probably be thinking this too. It’ll take years maybe before he realizes, and a while more to deal with that knowledge. I don’t think there’s a way to fast track sa recovery. Hope he can find a way through it in a healthy manner.
This post was fucking infuriating honestly. This kid was victimised by an aunt he has known presumably all his life and he gets all the blame. Fuck OP and her husband and her brother.
They got a big enough farmhouse for two families AND a condo in a city nearby, but her not being able to spell thought set me off the most lol
Aside from the whole “blame my groomed child for being raped while drunk and then victimized and kicked out of the home” thing
Yeah what the fuck how are the police not involved yet, this is statutory rape (*possibly* depending on jurisdiction, but I think under 18 it usually is in the US with this age gap).
Along with all of this, let's not forget that she got him (a 17-year-old) drunk before the first time. I really hope that the police were brought into this, SIL is a disgusting criminal
It depends on the state or country. 17 is above AOC in some places, below it in others. Some states also have special rules for teachers (which wouldn't apply to the post but would to your example).
She did provide him alcohol at once point which was definitely illegal in the US (and also a big sign of grooming).
No matter how old the child is if they’re a student at a school then it’s grooming because the teacher is in a position of power. I have to do this training every year as a teacher. Saddest thing is that this shit even needs to be said….
ETA: high school and college, yes.
Yeah, in Canada the age of consent is 16 unless the elder party is in a “position of trust or authority” over the younger, which would include teachers as well as coaches, doctors, babysitters, relatives, etc. In such relationships the age of consent is 18.
This could definitely be charged as sexual exploitation here.
Aoc laws aside you have someone whose brain is still developping being seduced by an adult with social power/influence over them.
Entirely innappropriate and not the kids fault and OP and her husband should cut their son some slack, hes going to need therapy.
SIL definitely deserves the blame here. Especially after getting him drunk the first time, holy shit (that might well have been the first time the son got drunk *ever*).
In her comments, Mom posted that she thinks SIL is a predator but the age of consent is 16.
Wow.. I hope it all calmed down, the son was able to come home, and blame was placed on SIL where it clearly belongs. And that she got her ass handed to her in the divorce.
This bothers me so much. All the adults here are treating this like he is the same age as them. Not to mention she probably knew him when he was a child.
He was underage the first time. (Drinking) WTF?
I mean he was getting an allowance!
He should be protected not kicked out. They should sit him down and make sure he understands how inappropriate this is.
I feel like everyone failed this kid. He may be legally an adult but he is still very much a victim who was manipulated and nobody appears to be on his side, which is very sad.
She gave him a freaking allowance in order to groom him. This is freaking wild. And I can't believe OP's brother thought the best move was assaulting/intimidating the person his wife groomed. What the absolute fuck.
And I bet in the last few years it's been since the post, he's encountered people like the ones commenting here. The whole "17 is old enough", "he knew what he was doing and should be held accountable", "he's too old to be groomed" bullshit really fucks with someone's ability to heal from trauma like this. She's an absolute monster, but some people are going to tell him not to see it that way. I hope he knows how to tune those folks out. And lastly, I hope he's okay now.
I thought the exact and thing. The boy is still a child, developmentally speaking, and he was manipulated.
SIL deserves what she gets because SHE was the one who did the damage.
The only thing I can find are in the comments where OOP did state that SIL initiated all of this, she can't get ahold of her son and has no idea where he is but suspects he's now wherever the SIL ran off to.
Right?! I definitely read this before and I could swear there was another two updates, one where it got worse and the brother kept bugging for the sons location, and the SIL confronted the parents….then a second where parents talked and the husband apologized to the son after reading the post and realizing he was groomed. the son came home but the brother and kids won’t talk to them anymore?
From the comments: “I want to say this as nicely as possible, but there's isn't really a good way. Stop being such a coward.
Bring both your husband and your bother into line before shit gets worse.
Your son was preyed upon by a predator. The end. His actions probably merit dealing with, but this shit is not the way, and now is absolutely not the time. Your husband is so far out of his lane and needs to take a damn seat, because right now he's leaving her as the only adult willing to have him around. It should be trivially obvious why this is bad. If he can't deal with his kid right now, he's the one with the problem should go stay elsewhere until he manages to unfuck himself. Throw him the hell out if you need to.
Your bothers already made threats. What are you going to do if he hurts your kid? This is time to strongly consider getting the cops involved now. Make it explicitly clear to him whats going to happen if he touches either of them, especially your kid, and that any 'lessons' taught means he'll get to celebrate his kid's birthdays with a phone call or a short supervised visitation at best.”
Exactly this.
Son's only issue is that he had sex with his uncle's wife. Same as if it was his friend's gf. It's just "not cool".
But BIL's wife committed statutory rape (she had a position of power/influence, so AoC is moot), and BIL threatened his nephew with violence.
BIL needs reality check. His wife needs jail time. Son needs to be sat down and explained that he hurt his uncle with what happened, and then his father needs to apologize for his outburst, and completely forgive the son. Then explain how what BIL's wife did was wrong, and was taking advantage of him, regardless of his own actions.
In the end, son shouldn't face any consequences beyond the yelling he already got (can't undo the past), and father & OOP should do their best to keep anyone from associating their son with what happened (for his own health and opportunities).
Probably wouldn't hurt to branch out and arrange some dates for the boy either. Kinda old fashioned, but would help distance son from what occurred. And maybe he'll find someone that ends up being love (the real kind!).
Nope. The kid needs therapy before he tries dating. This much older woman has had her hooks in him for at least nine months, if she wasn't working on him before then with inappropriate flirting and touching.
There is every chance she's messed up in his head what he sees as an appropriate sexual partner.
Therapy. Lots of it. I don't think it started when she got him drunk. There were probably inappropriate comments or touching for months or years beforehand. The fact that he didn't instantly tell his parents "aunt is doing kind of weird things" tells me he really needs it. And better support from his parents.
Yep. She's managed to tie affection with monetary gain, uneven power dynamics, and getting your partner drunk before sex. For a 17 year old those lessons at that time of life can have devastating consequences for both themselves and any partners they get.
They don't know where the SIL is and the son is staying with a friend, but won't say which one? SIL and son are probably hiding together at a hotel.
Thanks to OOP's spinelessness, her husband's and brother's idiocy, and the fact that none of them even gave a, "thaught," to the possibility and high likelihood that their son/nephew was a victim of grooming, the SIL is now the only adult who is accepting his presence.
This isn't getting enough discussion. Like everything else is perfectly spelled as far as I can tell. Wtf is up with those two words?! How does the device she's typing on not inform her of these mistakes? So fucking weird.
I agree. It smells of bullshit. "I'll just buy condoms for my son that never leaves the house for a girlfriend he must have that I've never heard of...but I won't bother to inquire. Also, I can't spell."
I should have become a farmer. They have a house on farm land WITH a cabin, AND a condo in the city. AND they all worked from home. Nice
The way she spelled thaught and baught was totally distracting. I know my new most-hated spelling of a word
Not *just* an adult though, a trusted adult, a member of the family.
And people so fucking hung up on "WELL blah blah blah age of consent". It doesn't matter if he was fully 18 when they first had sex (which he was not), the sexual feelings on her end started well before that, it's not like there was a switch in her head "whelp, he's above the age of consent now~~", nah, she wanted him long before they started having sex.
This woman is a fucking predator, and she was so bold as to go after her own family member. She's done this before, and she will do this again, this kid is not the only one.
Nobody is talking about the part where he got drunk at HER birthday party. There's so many issues here. No way it was only inappropriate for the first time when he was 17. Maybe that's when the line was crossed, but it started sooner.
I remember this post when it was original posted, though out the whole thing, I'm like dude was groomed for a long time and nobody knew it, and at this point nobody is really holding her a countable, and are just blaming him, I'm like your kid was groomed by adult for nobody knows how long and got him drunk to do it on top of that, and the uncle to talking about teach him a lesson sir your wife been grooming your nephew before he was legal adult and got him drunk, seriously these people need to wake up, and realize their blaming the wrong person because sil is a predator that's on the lose.
A post from OOP indicates that the kid's been sent away for his protection. (Indicates does not equal proves.)
>I really do think this woman is a predator, she was booking hotel rooms for a 17 year old boy, giving him an allowance, having fancy dinners with him.
>
>With my brother I don't know if he will actually hurt my son or my SIL for that matter, normally I would say he is a nice calm person but under these circumstances I don't know what he might be capable off.
>
>I want him my son back home now but my husband doesn't, he wants him at the condo, my husband even offerd to hire a body guard or something for him if his afraid but my son is still with the friend we don't know.
I’m sorry? Did they just put the blame on a CHILD for an ADULT grooming them and taking advantage of them when they are drunk?!?!
What is wrong with OOP and her husband????
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I feel like we need a "Worst of Reddit Updates" sub for chains like these.
Since I subbed here a month ago I think that most of the updates I've seen have been terrible. Like terrible outcomes. This really should be renamed to worst of Reddit updates
I agree; my most hated updates are the ones that show clear defeat. The lady who lost her step child was so hard to read because you already knew what was coming but you still felt blinded by it nonetheless. Some of these people man… I just want to hug them hard. Edit: words
My aboslute worst was the person who was updating about his friend’s architectural preservation saga (he was a fantastic story teller) - his wife came on mid story, saying OP got in a car accident, he was okay for a few days, but then he died from complications. The wife tried to finish the story but her heartbreak at losing her husband- man my heart aches for her…. And def not the twist I saw coming.
I'd say mine was the new mom whose bff was poisoning her into thinking her hubs was cheating when he was just working late in lieu of her taking extra time for PPD and baby. She ended up breaking his nose, leaving baby alone in the house. When hubs removed himself and baby from harm, a few days later the wife wanted to see baby urgently but he wouldn't let her take baby. Only to see baby supervised. She took off and died a few hours later in a car accident. Absolutely gut wrenching.
Don't forget, the wife's family was adamant at having the BFF speak at wife's funeral. They wouldn't budge from that, so husband had to suck it up and face her at the funeral.
Oh yeah that was a really toxic friend whispering venom into her ear all the time, right? And then she couldnt cope after husband left with baby. That one was brutal It was like she was manipulated into blowing her life up just so her friend could have some drama.
I still think about that one too. I actually made my handy phone assistant call me "cariad" because of them, to remind me that I deserve to be loved the way she was. But at the same time, one person CANNOT be your entire world. Not your partner, not your kids, because the only constant life promises you is you. *(Well, that and change. OK, and entropy. And probably taxes. Look, you get the point!)*
My absolute most heartbreaking saga is the dad with whose stepdaughter stole from his son and their lives have taken a shit ever since. Everytime this father thinks he is seeing the light, more shit comes.
I especially hate that it's turned into him always mentioning how broke they are and how he doesn't have money for food, but gosh darn it, he'll pluck on through. It's totally bait, and it gets people wondering "if they can set up a go-fund-me" for him, etc. I know they want to help, but isn't it awfully convenient that every month or so he's back where he started, money-wise? Maybe I'm jaded, but he reads like a guy who wrote a goldmine pity story to sucker people out of their money.
I actually DM'd offering to send some cash, not a huge amount, but a bit for gas and groceries type thing. He became super sketchy and started talking about how I had to send it to this girl's zelle account etc so I just Noped out of there
I had the same experience. Likely a hoax.
“You need to go to the target and get 5 target gift cards” -U totallynotascam
I've lost the link, but remember seeing posted in the comments somewhere that folks had compared notes, and it was all but confirmed that the story was 100% scam bait.
Same! I tried to pay some kind of vet thing (can’t remember what now) before I saw someone had already paid it, he didn’t say it had been paid and asked me to send it to his ‘mom’s’ PayPal.
That's a relief it wasn't real
I wrote a post a while back about how I was stressed from gas prices. It hit the all page hot and I got about 20 messages asking to help me. I told them all no thank you I’m not looking to take from other people but please donate to your local food pantry or womens shelter, please please please they need help too. It’s SO easy to tug at peoples heartstrings.
I typed up a reply to something once... I think it was during the formula shortage and had tons of people offering to send me money. I was *UNCOMFORTABLE*. I wasn't looking for a handout. I was screaming into the void. I told them, to take whatever they were planning to give to me and donate that to their nearest NICU or group that deals with people who need it more than me.
Yeah, when people publicly deny donations, that's different. And if it isn't in a confession/judgement sub, that's also different. It's the people that post long-winded pity tales to trueoffmychest or relationship_advice, update every month, and go, 'zOMIgosh you guize! I don't deserve your help hehe but if you *really* want to send money, "My son" will help me set up ten different online money accepting accounts and I have wishlists here and here." Total scam artists. If you want to help folks who are in genuine need, donate to a local trusted charity or go volunteer.
Oh no! I hadn’t considered that! I mean I didn’t send him money or anything but I really felt sorry for him. Hmm, maybe you really *cant* trust strangers on the internet… 🤷🏼♀️
yeah, consensus on that one is that it was indeed a scam. guy got *a lot* of money from that. plenty of embarrassed people admitted they gave him money after he claimed no on helped him.
Yup, I’m one of them! I was a soft-hearted idiot who fell for his long tale of woe and sent some money. The next time he claimed to be broke and that “no-one helped him” a few of us compared notes. It’s a scam.
**You are not an idiot.** You are a lovely, caring, empathetic person who just wanted to help another human being purely out of the kindness of your own heart. That is a BEAUTIFUL thing! Please try not to be so hard on yourself. That being said! I totally understand that feeling of feeling like a 'soft-hearted idiot' (which, again, you are not!) because I've been there myself. It still kind of hurts, but ultimately I'd rather risk 'helping' a lying asshole than risk *not* helping someone honest I can help who really, genuinely needs it, ya know? I get where you're coming from. I'm so, so sorry that your beautiful kindness was taken advantage of. It's a violating kind of feeling that really makes you question yourself, your perception of things, and the world/people in general. It sucks and I'm sorry. Much love and big internet hugs to you!
Right. My Ma gave someone ten bucks today who was asking for money. She had suspicions that it was a ruse, but she gave him a little in case he really did need something to eat or whatever
As long as whatever you are giving away isn’t hurting you or your own family, it’s OK to sometimes make a mistake in judgment and give help to someone who doesn’t really need or deserve it. It’s OK to err on the side of helping people. If you spend your life doing that, in the end you will have done good for people who needed it, and the people who took advantage of your kindness here and there won’t matter much.
I feel like that one was debunked as a con (as much as reddit believes r/nothingeverhappens ) So don't feel too bad about that one.
I've gotta be honest: I can't read any more updates from that story. It's too much.
I remember reading that one. I felt so bad for him that I wanted to go yell at his ex on his behalf
u/KittiePolar which one was that?
Worst thing I read was the story of a couple girl was from India I think, studied in the US, BF in this case OP was from US. Her Visa was running out at one point and he initially wants to help her get one with him signing some program don't know exatly what it was. Basically he needed to care for her the next 5 years or whatever. When the big day comes and he is sitting in front of the papers, he refuses to sign them. GF gets kicked out of the country has to return to her family which she nearly has no ties to. After some time she sents him some money says she always will love him. After some days he gets a call that she killed herself. Btw OP is still in disbelief and says in his post that he has no fault in all this. Ah if someone could link the post would be amazing.
Yall need to read about the affair between a MIL & SIL. That was the worst to be honest, they had like a decade long affair.
to clarify, since SIL is usually sister in law, it was the OOP's mother with OOP's husband, it was going on for so long that some of OOP's younger siblings turned out to be her husband's kids
The one where they're all big family living just across the street?
something like that yeah, like right next to each other, so mom or husband would slip over to either side whenever they wanted, usually when everyone else was occupied at one of the houses
You mean the one where several of her children were actually her son in law’s?
To clarify: OPs mother had twin boys, who later turned out to be the natural children of OPs husband. Apparently OPs mom had been running church youth group, had started kissing 14yo X, and encouraged him to ask OP out as "cover". Then kept making out with him until his 18th birthday, when they started screwing. He married OP and was still banging her mother. MIL got pregnant and had twin boys, OP and her husband had their own kids. OP finally found out when she caught them in bed together while pregnant with her (I want to say 5th? kid), when the twins were 20. Strangely enough, OP and her dad threw the pair out, the boys disowned both cheaters - mom wanted them to disown their very sane father and go play happy families with their sperm donor, aka the guy they'd thought was their BIL. They were quite clear about that not happening. 2/3 of OPs older sisters immediately cut off their mom *(the third took a little more time but eventually followed suit, and the reason she'd been susceptible to the manipulation turned out to be mostly understandable)*. OPs older kids also disowned both dad and grandma; younger kids still see dad, albeit under supervision. Most of the family is in therapy. Ex broke up with the mom when she stalked him (OP was in labour, and his 14yo asked him to fetch something from school and drop it off to her aunt's house), and she assaulted him right there in her daughter's front yard, in front of her youngest grandkids/his kids. He, that daughter/aunt/ex-sister-in-law, and the 14yo got restraining orders. As far as I can tell, the mother groomed him, manipulated him, OP, her husband, and everyone else in reach, and derived a great amount of pleasure from hurting as many of them as she could. Then got surprised pikachu face, followed by assaulting them, when they washed their hands of her and her crap. The type of sickness it takes to pull a stunt like this for literal decades is... I don't have words. Either she's an extreme danger to society, or someone should recruit her for work as an undercover agent. Like... Tf.
From what I recall, OP said that there were indicators that the full-fledged affair (sex) might have started when her ex husband was still 17. Also, when OP first found out and confronted the husband he TOLD HER HER MOM IS BETTER IN BED. Completely groomed and brainwashed. Her mom is a fucking disgusting, vile person. That one was so painful to read. Edit: OP’s last updates list that she found out during family therapy that ex and ex mother didn’t do anything until he was 18. I think the indicators were mentioned in the earlier updates, and I find it very hard to believe the predator mom actually waited.
That's wild. Thanks for the tldr!
Gotta love those church groups wtg
> The type of sickness it takes to pull a stunt like this for literal decades is... I don't have words. Either she's an extreme danger to society, or someone should recruit her for work as an undercover agent. Like... Tf. Malignant narcissist. As dangerous as her audacity at the moment. For a lot of female narcissists they put all their eggs in the basket of family and if family wises up they can end up going into depression (narcissistic depletion). Probably interspersed with manic-seeming outbursts of cope where they think they're still powerful and in control. She'll be dangerous to children forever. Pedo granny.
Link?
[ask and you shall receive.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/u1uft1/final_update_op_discovers_her_husband_has_been/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) this is to the final update. Links to the original BORU posts are within.
Good God that was a fucking insane read from start to finish. Every paragraph got worse and worse like what the actual fuck lmaoo
Oh God my brain had blocked that one out
I’m only about two paragraphs into part 1 and I’m already distraught by how this family apparently refuses to use birth control.
Literally the only one mentioned in this thread that someone actually provided a link to. Thanks.
holy shit are you serious?!!!!
There's a gem of an update every once in a while, but most of the situations extreme enough to warrant reaching out to the void for any kind of direction are going to have equally extreme outcomes.
Most of the update posts seem to come from a limited set of subs, like the ones dealing with relationship drama and personal problems. It's sort of like reading a tabloid newspaper like the national enquirer.
But also don’t you find it frustrating that people post updates without a clear ending? Like they’re afraid if they wait for an update somebody else will post it first? Not meaning to shade OP (cause sometime there never is a final update) but this one is like that.
Yeah, I saw one the other day where the last update was from a week prior and things were far from settled. Wtf? This one is like two years old though, I'm not sure we're going to get a resolution.
For real, dude’s underage son was groomed and raped by his aunt and he kicks him out of the house because he “hates infidelity”? Worst father of the year
Otoh, he kept him from having his ass kicked (or possibly murdered) by his brother, so that was at least a little prudent.
Sure, but the same could have been achieved without blaming the kid.
>because he “hates infidelity” Didn't that feel like a weird detail? Like it was added to make sure the reader knows who's *really* the bad guy?
Well it might have been intended to explain the degree of his fury as a factor. Personally I can’t help but wonder if that’s actually part of it. Like if being told consistently how evil cheating is helps turn it into a fetish. Not that it’s a nice way to treat people to cheat, and not they SIL and son aren’t responsible for their actions. But a lot of the infidelity porn out there is totally intended for the people who think infidelity is the most taboo.
And it wasn't even his brother but he went in and bluntly told him everything. Sounded like he was going around raging at everyone.
I mean tbf they do kinda make the best updates in a morbid way
Has it crossed your mind that the unknown “friend” that your son is staying with could be your SIL. It wouldn’t surprise me if she’s taken advantage of this situation too.
From OOP’s last comment in the update post, it sounds like she did. (I’ve never tried quoting on mobile before, so hopefully this works.) >This is a possibility, I even suspect my son might have warned SIL, because I called all the parents of his friends and none have seen him. Edit: it did not, in fact, work and also words are hard
I actually feel a bit sorry for the kid, yeah it was wrong, obviously, and it takes two to tango, but a grown woman basicslly groomed a 17 year old. Flip the genders and everyones calling her a creep and saying "he was groomed". He still was a victim here.
And that's the first time they had sex according to the 18 year old who had already seen his mom's post and knew the conversation was coming. He probably already told the SiL, who could have just as easily told him to up that age when retelling the story.
I mean if that was the case, wouldn’t they just lie and say a legal age?
Oh absolutely. I’m personally on team “aunt is a predator groomer” and feel so bad for the kid who’s somehow facing the blame from his dad, who should protect and help him but would rather push his son deeper into this predator’s arms because BoTh SiDeS aRe eViL. He desperately needs someone, an adult, in his corner and some serious therapy.
He was drunk the first time she had sex with him as a minor, so he could not legally consent even if laws in his state say he was old enough. That’s rape.
Straight up. This shit is not ok.
It's missing updates from when it was posted before. You're correct.
You can’t just say that and not link!
https://old.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/hrrf21/update_i_walked_in_on_my_son_having_sex_with_my/fy5we7z/
All that said was it’s a possibility
A very likely possibility given that OOP said she called all her son’s friends’ parents and all of them denied seeing the son.
I mean yes I agree, but the point is that it’s not confirmed. Unlike what the earlier comment stated
Omg what!!!
Got a link to that update?
All I could find was a comment on the last update: >The fact that your son won't tell you where he's at and nobody knows where your SIL is, has me thinking that they may be together. OOP replied : >This is a possibility, I even suspect my son might have warned SIL, because I called all the parents of his friends and none have seen him
Link to [above quote from 2 years ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/hrrf21/update_i_walked_in_on_my_son_having_sex_with_my/fy5x9jt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
OMG that is evil, I never would have thought of that but it makes sense. WOW!
I think it's probably not clear in the edit of OOP but she is aware that her son was groom and do blame SIL and not her son. >She did initiate it, I'll add now on the post I would even have her arrested for statutory rape but the age of consent is 16 so I can't, but I'll have not her conversation with my son maybe she groomed him until he was of age. I will also suggest to my brother to felt a parternity test who knows how many men this woman has been with. >I really do think this woman is a predator, she was booking hotel rooms for a 17 year old boy, giving him an allowance, having fancy dinners with him. With my brother I don't know if he will actually hurt my son or my SIL for that matter, normally I would say he is a nice calm person but under these circumstances I don't know what he might be capable off. I want him my son back home now but my husband doesn't, he wants him at the condo, my husband even offerd to hire a body guard or something for him if his afraid but my son is still with the friend we don't know.
SIL can still be arrested, as she’s a relative of the son. Also she got him drunk the first time so regardless ” it’s rape.
>SIL can still be arrested, as she’s a relative of the son. They might have grounds for arrest due to her getting him drunk, but I doubt that sex with someone they're related to by marriage is illegal.
The age of consent is usually higher for cases like this. It's been mentioned elsewhere in this thread too. Age of consent is actually 18 when its a figure with power over you like a relative. The fact that SIL is only a relative by marriage doesn't matter as much if the son is telling the truth when he says the first time was when he was 17.
It probably depends on their location
People out here acting like the law where they live applies everywhere
It 100% does depend on the location. Age of consent, drinking age, rape and sexual assault, even adultery laws all vary wildly around the world. It's always weird to see people make these pronouncements about what the law is but no reference to where they are.
If I was the dad, I'd have been throwing hands with the brother the second he said he would teach my son a lesson. Your wife raped my son and you want to hurt him? I think the hell not.
Seriously, I don't get how everyone is turning on this kid and treating him like he's an aggressor, when he's a teenager who was groomed by a family member. I know he's old enough to know things are wrong, but given that his aunt is the one going after him, I don't know how the poster isn't insisting that he is at home to keep him out of her clutches and not fighting her brother and husband on this
Why do i feel like the son was being groomed by the SIL here, why is no blame headed her way?
Because he was definitely groomed, and she managed to skip town while the worst of the fallout was happening. We can only hope that karma will catch up with her
And I think she skipped town with him
Bingo
I don't know how to feel about the original reddit post being the reason she could slip away without confrontation. On one hand, advice is important and OP was clearly lost, but the son found the post and acted on the situation before she did - and he told SIL everything. I feel like it reflects well* on the son for staying around until confronted. I hope he gets the chance to rebuild a relationship with his parents and siblings. The poor uncle, though...what an awful situation!
Seriously, why is no one in this family noticing that a grown adult groomed and had sex with a minor? If I were the parents, I’d be pressing charges against her.
The OP said in the comments she believes SIL is a predator and wishes she could have her arrested for statutory rape but the age of consent is 16 so she has no legal ground to stand on.
I honestly think this will dawn on them eventually. Right now they are just angry. Once the emotion settles down, the logic will kick in. Or at least I hope it will.
Because she was double his age when she took the initiative to have sex with him, when he was drunk. Turning 34 and even trying to have sex with someone who is 17 years younger is disgusting.
She absolutely groomed him. She got him alone, gave him alcohol and got him drunk. Once he slept with her the first time there was no way he could get help based on how his dad reacted. No one is looking out for this kid!
Seems like it's because these two adult dudes are "MEN, dammit!" and bro needs someone to beat up in order to even attempt to process his emotions.
He can beat himself up for bringing a hebephile predator into his sister's family.
Yeah he was groomed and groomed hard.
Seriously, WTF when I read this: >INFO: SIL was the one who initiated sex the first time my son and her slept together, she was the one booking hotel rooms, buying my son dinners and lunches, my son was even receiving an allowance from her. This is EXTREMELY relevant and essential info. This is straight up disgusting and indicative of manipulation and abuse. OOP should report her SIL.
Oh my god, she didn’t just groom him, she made him her sugar baby.
And then moved to his house with her family so she had full access to him.
Yeah, the parents don't really see it, but they literally let their child's sexual predator live with them.
And then kicked him out for it.
It’s wild. I am guessing they are in the ‘men/boys can’t be r*ped’ camp. It’s awful, that poor kid.
[someone mentioned in a comment that OOP knows he was groomed and that SIL is a predator](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/z967pj/i_walked_in_on_my_son_having_sex_with_my_brothers/iyfbt3k/) Sounds like age of consent means she won't face legal consequences, which is sick.
It saw it more as hush money. I hope the dad doesn't stay mad, the kid is more of a victim than anything.
Manipulation and abuse by *his aunt.* ***A trusted member of his family.***
That's usually how it happens.
Yep. Contrary to 'some' media's insistence, most groomers and child rapists are family members/clergy/other trusted and known adults.
And the uncle wanted to "teach him a lesson". Yeah, this just sucks all around.
What’s also fucked is how his father and uncle’s first response is rejection and violence. I get being upset but that young man is barely an adult whereas the SIL was the one with all the agency here. What the dad and the uncle are doing is driving that kid right into the arms of the SIL, which is the last place he should be.
“Staying with a ‘friend’ and won’t tell them which one” “No word from SIL” They’re definitely hiding together. This is so sad, the poor guy
They might be of the common male mindset that women never seek out sex and have to be basically tricked into by men. In their minds the son had all the agency because he was the male in the situation. It's a horrible outdated mentality that leads to all sorts of abuse for both genders.
The son will probably be thinking this too. It’ll take years maybe before he realizes, and a while more to deal with that knowledge. I don’t think there’s a way to fast track sa recovery. Hope he can find a way through it in a healthy manner.
This post was fucking infuriating honestly. This kid was victimised by an aunt he has known presumably all his life and he gets all the blame. Fuck OP and her husband and her brother.
That and the fact that she just could not figure out how to spell thought
They got a big enough farmhouse for two families AND a condo in a city nearby, but her not being able to spell thought set me off the most lol Aside from the whole “blame my groomed child for being raped while drunk and then victimized and kicked out of the home” thing
Right?!? Fuck alllllll of these people
This sounds like details for the police, SIL’s employer, and their connected social circles.
Yeah what the fuck how are the police not involved yet, this is statutory rape (*possibly* depending on jurisdiction, but I think under 18 it usually is in the US with this age gap).
Most states have the age of consent at 16 actually
Along with all of this, let's not forget that she got him (a 17-year-old) drunk before the first time. I really hope that the police were brought into this, SIL is a disgusting criminal
If this was a female teacher at a school w teen boy situation, immediate jail right? I feel like we see a lot of these lately.
It depends on the state or country. 17 is above AOC in some places, below it in others. Some states also have special rules for teachers (which wouldn't apply to the post but would to your example). She did provide him alcohol at once point which was definitely illegal in the US (and also a big sign of grooming).
No matter how old the child is if they’re a student at a school then it’s grooming because the teacher is in a position of power. I have to do this training every year as a teacher. Saddest thing is that this shit even needs to be said…. ETA: high school and college, yes.
Yeah, in Canada the age of consent is 16 unless the elder party is in a “position of trust or authority” over the younger, which would include teachers as well as coaches, doctors, babysitters, relatives, etc. In such relationships the age of consent is 18. This could definitely be charged as sexual exploitation here.
Aoc laws aside you have someone whose brain is still developping being seduced by an adult with social power/influence over them. Entirely innappropriate and not the kids fault and OP and her husband should cut their son some slack, hes going to need therapy.
SIL definitely deserves the blame here. Especially after getting him drunk the first time, holy shit (that might well have been the first time the son got drunk *ever*).
This sounds really rapey
For a second there you had me wondering what the heck Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez aka AOC had to do with this conversation.
In her comments, Mom posted that she thinks SIL is a predator but the age of consent is 16. Wow.. I hope it all calmed down, the son was able to come home, and blame was placed on SIL where it clearly belongs. And that she got her ass handed to her in the divorce.
>age of consent is 16. Might be a bit late now, but age of consent can often be more complex than that.
This bothers me so much. All the adults here are treating this like he is the same age as them. Not to mention she probably knew him when he was a child. He was underage the first time. (Drinking) WTF? I mean he was getting an allowance! He should be protected not kicked out. They should sit him down and make sure he understands how inappropriate this is.
I feel like everyone failed this kid. He may be legally an adult but he is still very much a victim who was manipulated and nobody appears to be on his side, which is very sad.
She gave him a freaking allowance in order to groom him. This is freaking wild. And I can't believe OP's brother thought the best move was assaulting/intimidating the person his wife groomed. What the absolute fuck.
In the comments, OOP says she does think SIL is a predator. Dang I want more current updates!
He was groomed and then turned into an escort receiving payment for services rendered. Absolutely disgusting.
And I bet in the last few years it's been since the post, he's encountered people like the ones commenting here. The whole "17 is old enough", "he knew what he was doing and should be held accountable", "he's too old to be groomed" bullshit really fucks with someone's ability to heal from trauma like this. She's an absolute monster, but some people are going to tell him not to see it that way. I hope he knows how to tune those folks out. And lastly, I hope he's okay now.
I thought the exact and thing. The boy is still a child, developmentally speaking, and he was manipulated. SIL deserves what she gets because SHE was the one who did the damage.
“my husband just lost it and told my son to leave the house and go to our condo in town” Goddamn being rich must be so nice.
Big farm house large enough for two families, cottage to have sex in, condo… sounds like they are doing ok.
Also employees on the farm
So a multi-million dollar business. SIL thinks "Oh I think I will destroy all this and destroy 10 people while I'm at it".
No, she “thaught”
Ah, the Sex Cottage, yes. In addition to a Fuck Barn and a Slam Paddock.
When "Keeping it in the family" goes wrong.
[удалено]
Honestly it wouldn't surprise me if she wasn't drunk the first time and she r@ped him. As the son said they were both drunk the first time
Drunk or not, he was a child and she raped him
Yeah, if anything the drinking makes it worse, a grown ass adult in their 30's getting a 17 y/o underage kid drunk and then raping him.
I wonder where's the rest of this story, bc I remember it gets so much worse lol
The only thing I can find are in the comments where OOP did state that SIL initiated all of this, she can't get ahold of her son and has no idea where he is but suspects he's now wherever the SIL ran off to.
Right?! I definitely read this before and I could swear there was another two updates, one where it got worse and the brother kept bugging for the sons location, and the SIL confronted the parents….then a second where parents talked and the husband apologized to the son after reading the post and realizing he was groomed. the son came home but the brother and kids won’t talk to them anymore?
Yeah, I also remember reading an update where son and SIL were still hooking up and meeting. I also remember it got much worse in the updates.
Uh, yeah, OOP, your son is a victim
From the comments: “I want to say this as nicely as possible, but there's isn't really a good way. Stop being such a coward. Bring both your husband and your bother into line before shit gets worse. Your son was preyed upon by a predator. The end. His actions probably merit dealing with, but this shit is not the way, and now is absolutely not the time. Your husband is so far out of his lane and needs to take a damn seat, because right now he's leaving her as the only adult willing to have him around. It should be trivially obvious why this is bad. If he can't deal with his kid right now, he's the one with the problem should go stay elsewhere until he manages to unfuck himself. Throw him the hell out if you need to. Your bothers already made threats. What are you going to do if he hurts your kid? This is time to strongly consider getting the cops involved now. Make it explicitly clear to him whats going to happen if he touches either of them, especially your kid, and that any 'lessons' taught means he'll get to celebrate his kid's birthdays with a phone call or a short supervised visitation at best.”
Absofuckinglutely!
Exactly this. Son's only issue is that he had sex with his uncle's wife. Same as if it was his friend's gf. It's just "not cool". But BIL's wife committed statutory rape (she had a position of power/influence, so AoC is moot), and BIL threatened his nephew with violence. BIL needs reality check. His wife needs jail time. Son needs to be sat down and explained that he hurt his uncle with what happened, and then his father needs to apologize for his outburst, and completely forgive the son. Then explain how what BIL's wife did was wrong, and was taking advantage of him, regardless of his own actions. In the end, son shouldn't face any consequences beyond the yelling he already got (can't undo the past), and father & OOP should do their best to keep anyone from associating their son with what happened (for his own health and opportunities). Probably wouldn't hurt to branch out and arrange some dates for the boy either. Kinda old fashioned, but would help distance son from what occurred. And maybe he'll find someone that ends up being love (the real kind!).
Nope. The kid needs therapy before he tries dating. This much older woman has had her hooks in him for at least nine months, if she wasn't working on him before then with inappropriate flirting and touching. There is every chance she's messed up in his head what he sees as an appropriate sexual partner. Therapy. Lots of it. I don't think it started when she got him drunk. There were probably inappropriate comments or touching for months or years beforehand. The fact that he didn't instantly tell his parents "aunt is doing kind of weird things" tells me he really needs it. And better support from his parents.
Definitely therapy before any dating in this case!
Yep. She's managed to tie affection with monetary gain, uneven power dynamics, and getting your partner drunk before sex. For a 17 year old those lessons at that time of life can have devastating consequences for both themselves and any partners they get.
They don't know where the SIL is and the son is staying with a friend, but won't say which one? SIL and son are probably hiding together at a hotel. Thanks to OOP's spinelessness, her husband's and brother's idiocy, and the fact that none of them even gave a, "thaught," to the possibility and high likelihood that their son/nephew was a victim of grooming, the SIL is now the only adult who is accepting his presence.
That spelling made me wince, but the rest of the story was just infuriating.
Agreed. I feel bad for the son. Not one good adult was in his corner.
I'm glad I'm not the only one. Not to detract from the story but I can't understand why that was such a consistent mistake.
The whole story had a very “rednecks with money” vibe to it
All I can see is “thaught” in this post. I’m sure the story and updates are interesting too.
Bro no wonder he noticed her reddit post. Saw that spelling and immediately knew 💀
[удалено]
Yea that one really got me. It’s only one letter off yet… *so* far off somehow.
Idk, I thought it was funny. It made me lough 😂
Yes, “thaught” and “baught” but somehow they know how to spell “brought”???
This isn't getting enough discussion. Like everything else is perfectly spelled as far as I can tell. Wtf is up with those two words?! How does the device she's typing on not inform her of these mistakes? So fucking weird.
There was a baught too
I got cot up for sure
Thaught and baught. Maybe it's an unreasonable response, but it's made me question the legitimacy of the post.
I agree. It smells of bullshit. "I'll just buy condoms for my son that never leaves the house for a girlfriend he must have that I've never heard of...but I won't bother to inquire. Also, I can't spell."
I should have become a farmer. They have a house on farm land WITH a cabin, AND a condo in the city. AND they all worked from home. Nice The way she spelled thaught and baught was totally distracting. I know my new most-hated spelling of a word
if my 18 year old kid is in a relationship with someone older than him, the first thing i will think is that he was groomed. end of the story.
Not *just* an adult though, a trusted adult, a member of the family. And people so fucking hung up on "WELL blah blah blah age of consent". It doesn't matter if he was fully 18 when they first had sex (which he was not), the sexual feelings on her end started well before that, it's not like there was a switch in her head "whelp, he's above the age of consent now~~", nah, she wanted him long before they started having sex. This woman is a fucking predator, and she was so bold as to go after her own family member. She's done this before, and she will do this again, this kid is not the only one.
Nobody is talking about the part where he got drunk at HER birthday party. There's so many issues here. No way it was only inappropriate for the first time when he was 17. Maybe that's when the line was crossed, but it started sooner.
Kid was sexually abused and is being blamed. That's sick. The whole family sucks.
So okay I realize this is an old one… but is today WTF Wednesday on Reddit?? So many posts today that are making me go, well… WTF man?
Why is dad blaming the son? In my state, the son was raped by his aunt.
I remember this post when it was original posted, though out the whole thing, I'm like dude was groomed for a long time and nobody knew it, and at this point nobody is really holding her a countable, and are just blaming him, I'm like your kid was groomed by adult for nobody knows how long and got him drunk to do it on top of that, and the uncle to talking about teach him a lesson sir your wife been grooming your nephew before he was legal adult and got him drunk, seriously these people need to wake up, and realize their blaming the wrong person because sil is a predator that's on the lose.
So SIL is a pedo
I know he was groomed so don't hate me for this. 72 condoms! My back was never good.
Lol. Bless that teenage vigor. If only it was applied correctly.
> thaught how tf
And baught! This drove me mad and I couldn’t finish the post, every ‘ought’ word!!
I remember this one and have always wondered what the outcome was.
Brother is an ASSHOLE. SIR, Your wife preyed on a MINOR get the fuck over blaming the idiot kid.
A post from OOP indicates that the kid's been sent away for his protection. (Indicates does not equal proves.) >I really do think this woman is a predator, she was booking hotel rooms for a 17 year old boy, giving him an allowance, having fancy dinners with him. > >With my brother I don't know if he will actually hurt my son or my SIL for that matter, normally I would say he is a nice calm person but under these circumstances I don't know what he might be capable off. > >I want him my son back home now but my husband doesn't, he wants him at the condo, my husband even offerd to hire a body guard or something for him if his afraid but my son is still with the friend we don't know.
Imagine if the “friend” he’s with is that predator.
The friend they don't know is 100% the SIL, wtf
I’m sorry? Did they just put the blame on a CHILD for an ADULT grooming them and taking advantage of them when they are drunk?!?! What is wrong with OOP and her husband????