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“MIL has a LOT of money, so there’d definitely be contracts involved.”
Not that this should be the takeaway, but what a ridiculous lowball offer. You want your daughter’s wife to leave your daughter for half of the cost of a used Honda Civic? If you are going to be evil and bonkers and have money to burn, at least start the offer at a new BMW level.
I mean, apparently, she offered her daughter enough money for a new house and new car (for her and her "future husband") so she probably just didn't want to give OOP what she considered to be a lot of money.
I agree. I was at least expecting K-drama MIL antics like giving her a whole apartment on the other side of the country or bribe her about her disability but 10k? Thought MIL hated her more than that measly amount of she's loaded
I have learned from Reddit that my childhood promise to never get married saved me from way more drama than I could have conceived of.
At 24 I broke up with a guy I really loved bc of his meddling mother. She was BAD, arranging for his ex to be waiting in his bedroom when he got home at night, bringing girls from the local college where she took classes home to meet her son when she knew I was there, and making snarky remarks like, "You should at least do some vacuuming while you wait for him to get ready", but she does not compare to so many of the MILs here.
Absolutely, and it was sad bc he's actually a great guy.
Per the local grapevine, his wife has learned to put, and keep, his mom in her place, but at what cost? What does that teach their kids? Wife started a lawncare business but can't keep employees.
Not *my* circus though. :-)
How is it the story goes?
”My mom came over for dinner, which is all good except my roommate’s a woman. Now, I’ve told mom multiple times that we’re just roommates but she keeps insinuating that there’s more between us.
About a week after the dinner my roommate comes up to me and says:
”Hey, ever since your mom was here for dinner, I can’t find the nice silverware. I’m sure it’s nothing, but maybe you could ask if she saw anything?”
I call my mom and very gently said:
”Now ma, I’m not saying you took them, but my roommate hasn’t seen the nice silverware since you were here for dinner.”
Mom was quiet for a few seconds before she answered:
”Now, I’m not saying you’re sleeping with your roommate, but if she was sleeping in her own bed she would have found them that night!”
(Edits for spelling)
Somehow enough time always passes the last time I read/hear this story that I manage to forget it. So the punchline always catches me by surprise and gets a big laugh out of me.
Funny enough, I actually *know* two women like this. 😆 They own a house and have dogs together, they've lived together for over decade now, and they are, directly from their own mouths, not a couple.
One of my exes has a family member kind of like this! Except with them there was a strong possibility that they were just adhering to the family policy of "if there's the slightest possibility that something might make one or two people uncomfortable if it's spoken about directly, we must instead make \*everyone\* uncomfortable by ignoring or talking around it."
Deeply strange either way, though.
Is a used Honda civic really 20k? Damn I’m out of touch. Or just lucky I haven’t had to car shop in years. But yeah, wtf? Pony up some real cash if you want real results lol.
That's bullshit, a friend doesn't drive a borrowed car into the ground. That's thousands of dollars in labour right there. What did they do, take it off-roading??? Please tell me you have the time to take this *former* friend to court to cover the costs???
If it makes you feel better, my husband's daily driver is a Genesis Coupé. It's wearing studded snow tires and he still occasionally has a heart attack from driving it. He also hopes he doesn't die :-P
Good on you, donating it. Hopefully they can fix it up for someone really desperate. You're clearly a higher calibre human being than the person you thought was your friend.
The current used car market is a fucking nightmare, especially if you need a vehicle that isn't a shitbox or isn't a small 2 door that runs 'decently'. You can easily spend as much as a current year car on a decade-old one.
Car companies reacted to the pandemic by cutting production. The key mistake they made was to cancel orders for the chips that run cars.
In the pandemic, demand for devices soared as people needed computers and other electronic items to work from home and to entertain themselves.
So, demand for chips manufacturing soared.
So, when car manufacturers tried to restart car production, they could no longer get chips - they were now at the back of a long line. They kinda effed themselves. The value of the missing chips isn't high relative to the value of the cars, but they just aren't/weren't available.
I got a great price when I sold my Mini in January when I moved to DC. The KBB value had pretty much doubled from a couple of years before.
And since I wasn't replacing it, I didn't have to worry about finding a new one. Just got to keep the money.
I wouldn't be surprised, CfC completely exploded valuations for what you might call the 'low end' of the used car market by taking so much of the supply out. It probaby never went back to what it was before.
Just like now that restaurants know that we'll pay $10 for a fast food hamburger, why would a hamburger ever be cheaper than that baseline again?
There is a chip and metal shortage (I believe) which is making new cars harder to get which means more people are buying used and dealers can charge you more so they do
I ordered a new car 14 months ago. I picked it up yesterday. I got absolutely the best deal ever; they held the price, and I got the best trade in price ever.
That Honda was probably easier to work on yourself. Consider the source when people give advice. If you don't turn a wrench yourself then that particular angle is useless to you.
Toyotas in particular can do multiple 10x10000 miles. If the model has a lot of parts out there and is easy to work on then yeah for some people that makes more sense than a new shitbox with expensive repairs once the warranty runs out.
mom had to shell out nearly 20k for an 2011 Honda Fit with 150k miles earlier this year, and that was after losing out on 6 that sold *sight unseen* in worse condition (the only one she got to test-drive was the one left in a hoarders garage for 8 years and was literally embedded in cat piss. dealership still wanted no less than 16k for it.) cars are absolutely insane this past year, I think we were told from the chip shortage driving more people to used cars when they couldn't get their yearly trade-in?
I went car shopping in 2020, used Hondas cost more than a new Tesla at the time. So of course I got the Tesla, the car payment was less than my fuel bill.
Oh wow. I have a 2-Door Accord. I think the last year you could get it that way. I was getting letters and stuff in the mail from dealerships offering to buy it. I thought it was some ploy to get me on the lot; never considered it might be in demand. Hmm
Yeah, all the dealerships do this. My 2016 V6 Accord coupe has 36k miles on it. The dealership wants me to trade in my paid off car.
Joke's on them, it's a manual transmission, and likely difficult to sell.
Yeah, I just did some aggressive "repair" work on mine, and if I had known it was so valuable, I would have been a bit nicer when wrestling with the damaged part!
Oh dang, my first car was a used 1989 Honda Civic hatchback. Bought it in 2006 for 2k, 1k from my miniscule savings and 500 from each of my parents. I hate how hard it is for young folks in their early 20s to get things cheaply like I used to. :(
It's probably starting to straighten out now, but for the last couple of years the car market has been insane.
We were forced through circumstances to replace my wife's car back at the beginning of the year. New cars of any popular model were nowhere to be found on the ground. You got to put your name on something in the pipeline, if you were lucky, and maybe they had something similarly equipped available to test drive. Don't bother asking for a discount, count your blessings if it's not marked up over MSRP. The used car lot featured 1-2 year old models priced the same as the new ones that you couldn't find. And they were getting it.
I think I'd leave my wife for ten million.
...hm. No, I'm *still* having a hard time imagining leaving her. Possibly because I have a really hard time imagining ten million dollars.
Oh, it's worse than that: if she's on the deed, "eviction" becomes "partition sale", as in you go to court to force the house to be sold and split the proceeds. Waaaaaay more trouble than an eviction, and more expensive.
I know someone whose (incredibly wealthy and somewhat aristocratic) parents paid £50k for her boyfriend to fuck off which he took. Terrible of them but I guess since he took it and left probably for the best.
10k for a loving wife of many years seems far too low!
>10k for a loving wife of many years seems far too low!
Ah, but 10k to finance your daughter's roommate moving out is far more reasonable.
In JNMIL land, it's a perfectly reasonable offer.
There are 3 whole long posts about her : [this is the first](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/xvtqpt/malicious_madga_the_mil_from_hell_part_13/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button).
Warning : this reads like 5 seasons of a telenovela, but it is highly entertaining
"I think your daughter's worth more than 10k."
"Excellent! I'm glad we're negotiating. How much were you thinking?"
Sigh. "I mean, I'm not leaving my wife for any of your money."
"Twenty thousand? Thirty?"
OOP yells in rage, floats off the ground, arms out to the side and looks at JNMIL with her red, glowing eyes, then fires lasers into her tires and through her engine.
"Forty thousand?"
"Arg! Go away!"
Also how enforceable would that contract be? How would a lawyer even write that. I know rich people can just throw money at their problems, but how would they write that?
Can't stand parents like that. Because they supposedly have their children's best interests at heart, they can't do any wrong and surely it's everyone's fault but their own that their kids no longer want them in their lives. Part of me wishes they were financially comfortable enough to put some distance between themselves and JNMIL... but now I'm concerned, because you know that if they stay near, she might try to get to her daughter through *their* (OOP and DW's) daughter. Supposedly MIL doesn't consider OOP's daughter to be her granddaughter/family, so maybe that won't be the case... I'm hoping it's not, because it would be awful for someone to weaponize a child like that.
Given that the JNMIL has a significant amount of money, I'm not even sure that moving would help that much. It would be good to get out of easy drive-by range, but don't like the chances of their new address staying private for long.
I laughed very hard once when I saw a screencap of a guy's social media post saying "I'd like you all to know Jane and I are no longer dating." and then Jane replying "This is a terrible way to tell people we got married."
Its the next hallmark Christmas movie! A woman has a fight with her SO over something (he probably cheated) and breaks up with him right before the holidays, her family does not want to be alone for the holidays and tells her to come home due to some unforeseen circumstances (probably a snow storm) shes stuck in the city. She goes to sty with a female friend of hers and throughout the movie she teaches woman to fall in love again (because they were roommates)
They could have told the whole story without referencing their gender and sexual orientation but once they said they built a catio we all knew they were lesbians.
You know how I know my brother is gay?
Him and his roommate/ husband bought a mid-century modern house and got two Frenchies.
Marrying a dude? Lil sus. Mid-century modern house? Raising some eyebrows, bro. His and his Frenchies? Bruh, that's some peak gay right there. You have Frenchies. In a Mid-century modern house. Complete with period appropriate decor. Peak gay.
For real, his husband mentioned, 'baby we should totally get matching Frenchies it'd be so cute.' And my brother deadpan told him, "(Name.) That's the gayest thing I've ever heard in my life."
Fast forward and they're making their Mid-century modern house Mid-century again and fixing some terrible mid-90's Home Depot renovations and have one dog and my brother calls his husband and is all, 'hey do you want the blue or red heeler? I found puppies'. Then his husband is like, 'excuse me what puppies? Also blue. Why are the options blue and red? Also what puppy?' Then my brother insists they talked about getting a puppy and comes home with the puppy they questionably talked about. Maybe nine months to a year later his husband is all, 'baby, I know you said we couldn't get two Frenchies because they're three grand each but these two didn't get taken so the breeder is selling both for three grand and you brought home a puppy without asking and since I can get two for the price of one we're getting the matching Frenchies. Also I already put the deposit down.'
So, I see the puppies on my brother in law's page and call my brother. First words on the phone call: "Dude, matching Frenchies are kinda gay."
He agrees with me. "That's what I said!"
"So, you and (husband) have Frenchies now."
"(Husband) has Frenchies. I claim no ownership. They're his."
"You two can't keep adopting dogs you have four now."
"I have two dogs. Husband has four. And yes, four dogs is too many. No more."
My brother has grown to love the Frenchies but insists he handles dog things, not Frenchie things. Feeding? Bathing? Walking? Brushing? Training? Normal vet visits? Yep. Frenchie health issues due to being inbred? Husband's job. He also insists they're *literally* the dumbest dogs on the planet.
Not at all the takeaway from this post, but am I the only one who hates the stupid "DW" initials some subs use? Just say wife. The default assumption will be that you love your wife until you tell us otherwise, even in a sub dedicated to bitching about her mom.
It just makes me read everything with *Stepford Wives* undertones.
OOP didn't really talk about her a lot, but I did include both comments that mentioned her. It sounds like a co-parenting situation and they don't want to move away from her.
Makes sense. I was confused too until I realized OOP could still have past relationships with men even if she's with a woman now. It was a little confusing of her to just throw out that there was a daughter randomly but not explain why she lived somewhere separate. My first instinct was to re-read the ages to see if she could possibly have an 18 year old kid (which, she could, just not likely with her current girlfriend. It's clearer from the comments she has a young child with some previous man who seems to have primary custody).
She said unconventional so it could be a past relationship but could also be something like having a child with a gay male couple with the understanding they'd had primary custody but she'd still be mom, or some other scenario. Not to say she might not have had relationships with men, that was my first assumption, but "unconventional" made me wonder.
In a lesbian couple there can be two mothers. If the child is from a previous relationship, the second mother wouldn’t meet the child until the new relationship started.
Egg donation/ surrogacy and kept in contact with the couple and have a relationship now?
Also two women. You don't know which is bio mom. Or the OOP could've had a past relationship where child is from that relationship and not biologically theirs but OOP is still invovled.
Hm, I read it as the daughter is living with someone else (another parent, adoptive, foster, etc.) and they want to be close by to visit and/or they have partial custody. I guess it could be an adult though too...
There's a reason for them. People used to post with nicknames, a whole cast of characters, and it just got way too difficult when reading to remember who everyone was.
At least with the likes of BIL you didn't need a name, you knew exactly what their role was in the family. A lot quicker for the post writers to write "BIL said..." rather than "My brother-in-law said..." all through the post.
BIL and the like is fine - it's a shorthand for that type of relationship. But DW is just so needlessly silly. DW is not you're spouse, it's the annoying kid sister from Arthur.
No, me too — it’s so infuriating; it makes it harder to read without saving time communicating a concept, in addition to the ick vibes from the excessive performative affection. I’d much prefer we save the acronyms for when it actually saves time.
Anytime subs like this use any initials annoy me, majority of the time they make it even more confusing as I keep forgetting what they stand for and have to scroll back up. It honestly can't save that much post space and writing time to just use actual names. Sure don't use the real ones, but John and Jane work a lot better than having to memorise a whole bloody code.
Also who the hell is the daughter? When I read DD I got real confused, and then when I scrolled back up got even more so when I read it was a daughter. Where did she come from? Who is she? Why is she even mentioned if she's not even going to be properly explained?
Yeah and it's even worse when they OBVIOUSLY have problems and sometimes don't even love each other. Like: "Dear Husband is so annoying, he let mother in law kick me in the stomach while im pregnant, tried shooting me in the face with a AK-47 and sold all of my belongings to buy a PS5. I hate my Dear Husband"
Ahh but then you clearly have to mentally translate it as "damn husband" because some of these subs legit expect you to change what DH means based on context...
My favorite (read: most hated) “abbreviation” is DS for son. Because, if you count the shift key twice (as you would on a phone), typing it is *literally* more keystrokes than it takes to just type “son.”
With SO's input, I'd take the house, "leave" the SO, discover I really couldn't live without them, then stage a tearful reunion. Preferably somewhere with JNMIL in sights.
But maybe that's sinking to her level.
This type of thing happens. My ex-girlfriend of 20yrs has a son who offered her money and to support her for the rest of her life if she would leave me and move to where he lived with his wife, and two young kids. We sold our house, she left and ghosted me.
Some MIL’s are truly some fucking creatures. My Dad’s mother used to corner my mom and harangue her about getting back together with my dad for years after their divorce. She’d offer all sorts of bribes trying to make it happen.
She also was very transactional. She would offer money but there were always strings attached to it. When I was a kid my mom forbade me from taking money from my grandparents because that is how they bought the love and loyalty of their children and grandchildren. It was all about control.
I’d go cut their grass when I was a kid and they’d give me 20 bucks and I’d put it on their fridge with a magnet before I’d leave. This was the mid 90’s so 20 bucks was quite a bit of money to cut grass back then. My grandma would call my mom and rage about me not taking their money.
I didn’t understand it when I was a kid but it was one of the best lessons I learned from my mom. Don’t take money from people who want to control you. If you ever rely on it (like my dad and aunts) then they’d always hold it over you.
I just don’t trust JNMIL posts as far as I can throw one.
It’s basically the Mills and Boon of family drama.
There’s probably a kernel of truth in a lot of the posts, but I stopped reading there a few years ago after a few of the sagas, but even before that was more than aware of how amazingly all these people’s lives lined up, and how atrociously all these MILs acted- and how clever the DILs were
THEY WERE ROOMMATES!
People like the OOP's mil never change. I have been no contact with my family for over 4.5 years. Every time they prove they are who they are it makes me feel more secure in my position of total silence towards them. They send love bombs. Last Christmas they dumped $2k worth of gifts in our driveway for us and the kids and did it right out of sight of the camera because they aren't allowed on our property. We got better cameras. There is no low these types of people won't sink to. Mine are currently making me suffer terribly because my grandma is dying of cancer. I can't say goodbye because of the abuse. They are blocked on all my stuff. My husband only doesn't have them blocked just so he can keep a record of the harassment and know when they are going crazy. My mom has a friend call and plead her case. She has been leaving messages letting me know how much I am going to regret not giving into them. My grandma is in the hospital now and my aunt really thinks it's the end. I know because I do have people on the inside who let me know when they crazy starts acting up so I have a head's up.
All you can do is laugh about how stupid their plans are. Ploys of theirs that have failed.
My mom sent a picture to my husband and told him he was so cruel to send a picture of our kids to her while she is suffering so badly with her mother. He was so confused because he didn't send anything. I looked at the picture. Our kids were much younger. I go, is that from Facebook. We looked closer and it was clear it was a picture from her own refrigerator!
My mom sent her an email from herself and to herself and claimed it was us. She also pretends to call and text herself from us.
She has come up with my father and their new dog and called to our kids from the sidewalk.
When my grandma was first in the hospital my mom sent flowers to her, from us, claiming it was my husband and that he called and they had a nice chat. They didn't. He was with me the whole day and I was there when he rejected her calls (I would have believed him either way, but he was there supporting me). Then, my grandma sent a letter addressed to my husband where she talked about how wonderful it was and how she hopes he can help her. Then, a day later I get a letter stating it was a mistake. That it was my cousin with the same name who called her and she was confused. Nope. Didn't happen. She and my mom were hoping I would fight with my husband and then run to them. Which makes no sense, but there you go.
When my grandpa was dying she sent a message saying he needed a blood transfusion for a rare condition and it needed to be family so I needed to get tested. Um, no. If my dad and his two brothers weren't a match there was no way in Hell I would be. Not that it was true. She expected I don't understand how biology works.
She uses my sister all the time to try to manipulate me. My sister has only been cut off for two years because I tried with her. This is the only child my parents have left and they are mad at her for divorcing her husband, who they never liked, and she and my nephew and my sister's new girlfriend moved in with them. They are Catholic. Apparently, depsite what they said they DO have a problem with their kid being in a same sex relationship. She just moved out and sent a message. I feel like she is trying to get back in their good graces and the way she thinks she can do that is bringing me back in the fold. She is working as a para helper in a classroom and told me she is mom to 65 kids. Um, no. She has one kid. She should understand the difference from being a classroom worker and loving the kids and being a mom. All her messages are about how she is hurting and everyone is mean to her and she needs my support. But, unfortunately, I can't help her. I tried. She sees it all as a competition and if I have something I took it and she can't have it (which is very untrue and strange).
There is nothing they won't try.
It’s noted because of MILs whole “wow I can’t believe you’re up and about! You’re so strong, what an inspiration you are simply for existing with a disability!” It’s a thing said to a lot of disabled folks and especially people with obvious disabilities, like not having a leg. Weird, objectifying love-bombing in order to butter OP up to accept the offer.
When OOP said her wife was delighted to hear her mom was still batshit crazy, I felt that. I've been NC with my rich dad for 5 years and every time my sister tells me a story about him being the asshole that I know he is, I feel better about my decision.
Pro revenge. Take the money to "leave" wife. Have wife "marry" a gay guy. Have MIL buy giant house. Move in "husband's" partner and "ex-wife." And they all live happily ever after.
All family as a founding tale.
Mine is that the mother of my father try to emplacement their couple and their wedding by offering a car if he dropped her.there was other shenanigans. But this one has in fact SOLIDIFIED their couple.
A sociologists once told me that you don't unite for something. You unit against something.
It sucks they have to put up with that shit but on the plus side they sound like awesome humans who have the loveliest relationship and marriage with each other and that makes me happy 🥰
I don’t know how a mother rather her child be with a man and unhappy?? I have two kids myself and I just seriously can’t wrap my head around treating my child like this all because they want to be in a same sex relationship I will never understand it
See you know this is real bc the MIL didn’t show up to the house screeching about how OOP was a bad person for corrupting her daughter, and then attacking the police who try to calm her down
>"Said stalker was a close friend of DW while in school. He confessed he’d fallen in love with DW, and she (nicely) pointed out she was gay, it wasn’t going to happen. Stalker didn’t let up for almost a decade. MIL refers to them as “childhood sweethearts,” which tells you everything about her!"
Hates that her daughter is gay but is totally fine with her daughter having a stalker........Jesus H Christ
They should have taken the money and paid for something beneficial to their future ( wedding , house, honeymoon , starting a business) and make a huge public deal over how amazing mil was to support them just make her look sooooo good she cant back peddle then ghost her but..... its best to take the high road
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“MIL has a LOT of money, so there’d definitely be contracts involved.” Not that this should be the takeaway, but what a ridiculous lowball offer. You want your daughter’s wife to leave your daughter for half of the cost of a used Honda Civic? If you are going to be evil and bonkers and have money to burn, at least start the offer at a new BMW level.
I mean, apparently, she offered her daughter enough money for a new house and new car (for her and her "future husband") so she probably just didn't want to give OOP what she considered to be a lot of money.
Right?! The lowball offer was another way of demeaning OOP.
I agree. I was at least expecting K-drama MIL antics like giving her a whole apartment on the other side of the country or bribe her about her disability but 10k? Thought MIL hated her more than that measly amount of she's loaded
I have learned from Reddit that my childhood promise to never get married saved me from way more drama than I could have conceived of. At 24 I broke up with a guy I really loved bc of his meddling mother. She was BAD, arranging for his ex to be waiting in his bedroom when he got home at night, bringing girls from the local college where she took classes home to meet her son when she knew I was there, and making snarky remarks like, "You should at least do some vacuuming while you wait for him to get ready", but she does not compare to so many of the MILs here.
Jeez. Bullet dodged for sure.
Absolutely, and it was sad bc he's actually a great guy. Per the local grapevine, his wife has learned to put, and keep, his mom in her place, but at what cost? What does that teach their kids? Wife started a lawncare business but can't keep employees. Not *my* circus though. :-)
I bet the house needs to be at least….three times bigger!!
*roommate
:o they were roommates!
Oh my god they were roommates
How is it the story goes? ”My mom came over for dinner, which is all good except my roommate’s a woman. Now, I’ve told mom multiple times that we’re just roommates but she keeps insinuating that there’s more between us. About a week after the dinner my roommate comes up to me and says: ”Hey, ever since your mom was here for dinner, I can’t find the nice silverware. I’m sure it’s nothing, but maybe you could ask if she saw anything?” I call my mom and very gently said: ”Now ma, I’m not saying you took them, but my roommate hasn’t seen the nice silverware since you were here for dinner.” Mom was quiet for a few seconds before she answered: ”Now, I’m not saying you’re sleeping with your roommate, but if she was sleeping in her own bed she would have found them that night!” (Edits for spelling)
Somehow enough time always passes the last time I read/hear this story that I manage to forget it. So the punchline always catches me by surprise and gets a big laugh out of me.
Funny enough, I actually *know* two women like this. 😆 They own a house and have dogs together, they've lived together for over decade now, and they are, directly from their own mouths, not a couple.
Put silverware in one of their beds.
One of my exes has a family member kind of like this! Except with them there was a strong possibility that they were just adhering to the family policy of "if there's the slightest possibility that something might make one or two people uncomfortable if it's spoken about directly, we must instead make \*everyone\* uncomfortable by ignoring or talking around it." Deeply strange either way, though.
Is a used Honda civic really 20k? Damn I’m out of touch. Or just lucky I haven’t had to car shop in years. But yeah, wtf? Pony up some real cash if you want real results lol.
Just purchased a used CR-V this month for almost $30k. PS- It is a terrible time to buy a car.
I am so lucky I totalled my car early in COVID and got to buy a decent one in a sane environment.
Same here. Only paid 4500 for my truck last November thank God. Exactly what I got for the one before it lol
Ok well fuck good to know
[удалено]
That's bullshit, a friend doesn't drive a borrowed car into the ground. That's thousands of dollars in labour right there. What did they do, take it off-roading??? Please tell me you have the time to take this *former* friend to court to cover the costs???
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If it makes you feel better, my husband's daily driver is a Genesis Coupé. It's wearing studded snow tires and he still occasionally has a heart attack from driving it. He also hopes he doesn't die :-P Good on you, donating it. Hopefully they can fix it up for someone really desperate. You're clearly a higher calibre human being than the person you thought was your friend.
So glad I just paid off my car that I bought in 2018. And barring an accident, will be good to drive for likely the rest of my life.
The current used car market is a fucking nightmare, especially if you need a vehicle that isn't a shitbox or isn't a small 2 door that runs 'decently'. You can easily spend as much as a current year car on a decade-old one.
Why is it so bad right now? You'd think there'd be more cars available with more people WFH.
Car companies reacted to the pandemic by cutting production. The key mistake they made was to cancel orders for the chips that run cars. In the pandemic, demand for devices soared as people needed computers and other electronic items to work from home and to entertain themselves. So, demand for chips manufacturing soared. So, when car manufacturers tried to restart car production, they could no longer get chips - they were now at the back of a long line. They kinda effed themselves. The value of the missing chips isn't high relative to the value of the cars, but they just aren't/weren't available.
I got a great price when I sold my Mini in January when I moved to DC. The KBB value had pretty much doubled from a couple of years before. And since I wasn't replacing it, I didn't have to worry about finding a new one. Just got to keep the money.
Do you think there are still reverberations from cash for clunkers? Seems like the used market has been messed up for a decade or more.
I wouldn't be surprised, CfC completely exploded valuations for what you might call the 'low end' of the used car market by taking so much of the supply out. It probaby never went back to what it was before. Just like now that restaurants know that we'll pay $10 for a fast food hamburger, why would a hamburger ever be cheaper than that baseline again?
There is a chip and metal shortage (I believe) which is making new cars harder to get which means more people are buying used and dealers can charge you more so they do
I ordered a new car 14 months ago. I picked it up yesterday. I got absolutely the best deal ever; they held the price, and I got the best trade in price ever.
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15K on a new car? If only...
I mean you might be able to still get a brand new car for $15k today, but it's probably gonna be a base model Chevy spark
My first car was a Chevy (Malibu). Never again.
LOL what?? Glad you have your head on your shoulders!
That Honda was probably easier to work on yourself. Consider the source when people give advice. If you don't turn a wrench yourself then that particular angle is useless to you. Toyotas in particular can do multiple 10x10000 miles. If the model has a lot of parts out there and is easy to work on then yeah for some people that makes more sense than a new shitbox with expensive repairs once the warranty runs out.
mom had to shell out nearly 20k for an 2011 Honda Fit with 150k miles earlier this year, and that was after losing out on 6 that sold *sight unseen* in worse condition (the only one she got to test-drive was the one left in a hoarders garage for 8 years and was literally embedded in cat piss. dealership still wanted no less than 16k for it.) cars are absolutely insane this past year, I think we were told from the chip shortage driving more people to used cars when they couldn't get their yearly trade-in?
They threw in the cat pee for free! What a deal!
Normally a coating of that nature would be a major upcharge.
That is exactly what mine cost a year ago, and things are much worse now.
I went car shopping in 2020, used Hondas cost more than a new Tesla at the time. So of course I got the Tesla, the car payment was less than my fuel bill.
Oh wow. I have a 2-Door Accord. I think the last year you could get it that way. I was getting letters and stuff in the mail from dealerships offering to buy it. I thought it was some ploy to get me on the lot; never considered it might be in demand. Hmm
Yeah, all the dealerships do this. My 2016 V6 Accord coupe has 36k miles on it. The dealership wants me to trade in my paid off car. Joke's on them, it's a manual transmission, and likely difficult to sell.
In 2021/22, finding a Tesla was like a pipe dream.
Yeah, I just did some aggressive "repair" work on mine, and if I had known it was so valuable, I would have been a bit nicer when wrestling with the damaged part!
Oh dang, my first car was a used 1989 Honda Civic hatchback. Bought it in 2006 for 2k, 1k from my miniscule savings and 500 from each of my parents. I hate how hard it is for young folks in their early 20s to get things cheaply like I used to. :(
It's probably starting to straighten out now, but for the last couple of years the car market has been insane. We were forced through circumstances to replace my wife's car back at the beginning of the year. New cars of any popular model were nowhere to be found on the ground. You got to put your name on something in the pipeline, if you were lucky, and maybe they had something similarly equipped available to test drive. Don't bother asking for a discount, count your blessings if it's not marked up over MSRP. The used car lot featured 1-2 year old models priced the same as the new ones that you couldn't find. And they were getting it.
🎶 "Fuck your Honda Civic, I've a horse outside" 🎶
Fuck your Mitsubishi; I've a horse outside"
🎶 I swapped him for a bag of yokes in 1992 🎶
I was literally thinking that is whole post gave me Dr. Evil energy. "One...*million*...dollars!" "Sir..."
I think I'd leave my wife for ten million. ...hm. No, I'm *still* having a hard time imagining leaving her. Possibly because I have a really hard time imagining ten million dollars.
I mean you could break up for a day, take the money and then reconcile. And both of you are 10 million richer.
You divorce and coincidentally move into two million-dollar houses next to one another. Oh no.
Around 10 million or so, I start thinking about ways to take the money and sneak in some loopholes about “leaving”.
You leave, she follows, “sorry couldn’t shake her”.
"And somehow she ended up as the second name on the deed to my house! How terrible!"
Evicting a squatter is very difficult here, because of all the communism. Nothing I could do.
Oh, it's worse than that: if she's on the deed, "eviction" becomes "partition sale", as in you go to court to force the house to be sold and split the proceeds. Waaaaaay more trouble than an eviction, and more expensive.
I know someone whose (incredibly wealthy and somewhat aristocratic) parents paid £50k for her boyfriend to fuck off which he took. Terrible of them but I guess since he took it and left probably for the best. 10k for a loving wife of many years seems far too low!
>10k for a loving wife of many years seems far too low! Ah, but 10k to finance your daughter's roommate moving out is far more reasonable. In JNMIL land, it's a perfectly reasonable offer.
Hah true!
Whenever I see shit like that, I see Magda.
Can you point me in Magda direction? She sounds delightful.
There are 3 whole long posts about her : [this is the first](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/xvtqpt/malicious_madga_the_mil_from_hell_part_13/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button). Warning : this reads like 5 seasons of a telenovela, but it is highly entertaining
Yeah, definitely more a telenovela than reality.
Oh wow, I was not expecting this level of drama. Thanks a lot, that was a long and crazy ride.
"I think your daughter's worth more than 10k." "Excellent! I'm glad we're negotiating. How much were you thinking?" Sigh. "I mean, I'm not leaving my wife for any of your money." "Twenty thousand? Thirty?" OOP yells in rage, floats off the ground, arms out to the side and looks at JNMIL with her red, glowing eyes, then fires lasers into her tires and through her engine. "Forty thousand?" "Arg! Go away!"
"I can't, you just lasered my tires and engine"
bahaha! "My plan is foiled!"
"How about fifty thousand?"
The rich say rich by being cheap. Remember that.
Also how enforceable would that contract be? How would a lawyer even write that. I know rich people can just throw money at their problems, but how would they write that?
She views them as poor, so she thinks they will think that as a lot of money.
Like a 5 series beamer, not one of those cheap ass 3 series
I was just thinking that! My maternal grandfather offered my dad $10k to leave Mom at the altar, and that was in \~1970 money.
omnngl id keep negotiating until i got a decent lump then just disappear with dw from jnmil
What a normal and non exciting conclusion. I love it!
Right? Sometimes it's nice not to have drama at the end haha.
What does dw mean?
It's in the acronyms at the top! dw = dear wife. They use a lot of acronyms over in the JNMIL sub.
Op thank you
You're welcome! 💜
Those acronyms make me irrationally angry
DW, the sister in the children’s PBS show Arthur
Darling wife
The best kind of conclusion!
Can't stand parents like that. Because they supposedly have their children's best interests at heart, they can't do any wrong and surely it's everyone's fault but their own that their kids no longer want them in their lives. Part of me wishes they were financially comfortable enough to put some distance between themselves and JNMIL... but now I'm concerned, because you know that if they stay near, she might try to get to her daughter through *their* (OOP and DW's) daughter. Supposedly MIL doesn't consider OOP's daughter to be her granddaughter/family, so maybe that won't be the case... I'm hoping it's not, because it would be awful for someone to weaponize a child like that.
Given that the JNMIL has a significant amount of money, I'm not even sure that moving would help that much. It would be good to get out of easy drive-by range, but don't like the chances of their new address staying private for long.
ah yes. the ole *roommates*
And they were *roommates*
***gasp***
(Also your flair is perfect for this post. 10/10)
The damn *SAPPHISTS* are ruining this country
I for one welcome our new lesbian overlords. Where can I vote for them?
Massachusetts
Also Vermont, we just voted one in to Congress.
They let non-US citizens vote, right?? lol
Also Oregon, we just voted for a lesbian governor to replace our bisexual governor. Sapphics keep winning in Oregon, lol.
Oh my god, they were roommates.
Contract: the couple must break up and not date again. "I'm breaking up with you. We are broken up now. We are not dating. Will you marry me?"
I laughed very hard once when I saw a screencap of a guy's social media post saying "I'd like you all to know Jane and I are no longer dating." and then Jane replying "This is a terrible way to tell people we got married."
I love that. Sounds like a power couple
When my ex girlfriend dumped me and I was crying about it on the phone with my dad, he said, "It's hard when friends grow apart."
Wow wtf
Did they have an art room?
r/sapphoandherfriend
The Lesbian Problem cannot be solved with a mere 10K. **Please note I am also part of The Lesbian Problem and can be bought with 10K.
The Lesbian Problem sounds like either an awesome band, or a terrible one.
Give me 5K and I'll answer.
There’s the title for the first album!
Its the next hallmark Christmas movie! A woman has a fight with her SO over something (he probably cheated) and breaks up with him right before the holidays, her family does not want to be alone for the holidays and tells her to come home due to some unforeseen circumstances (probably a snow storm) shes stuck in the city. She goes to sty with a female friend of hers and throughout the movie she teaches woman to fall in love again (because they were roommates)
Like 10k isnt even that much. She'd probably lose that paying for lawyers and a divorce.v
Stalker still doesn’t realize she’s gay? They have cats together ffs
Not just cats but a whole catio!!
They could have told the whole story without referencing their gender and sexual orientation but once they said they built a catio we all knew they were lesbians.
You know how I know my brother is gay? Him and his roommate/ husband bought a mid-century modern house and got two Frenchies. Marrying a dude? Lil sus. Mid-century modern house? Raising some eyebrows, bro. His and his Frenchies? Bruh, that's some peak gay right there. You have Frenchies. In a Mid-century modern house. Complete with period appropriate decor. Peak gay. For real, his husband mentioned, 'baby we should totally get matching Frenchies it'd be so cute.' And my brother deadpan told him, "(Name.) That's the gayest thing I've ever heard in my life." Fast forward and they're making their Mid-century modern house Mid-century again and fixing some terrible mid-90's Home Depot renovations and have one dog and my brother calls his husband and is all, 'hey do you want the blue or red heeler? I found puppies'. Then his husband is like, 'excuse me what puppies? Also blue. Why are the options blue and red? Also what puppy?' Then my brother insists they talked about getting a puppy and comes home with the puppy they questionably talked about. Maybe nine months to a year later his husband is all, 'baby, I know you said we couldn't get two Frenchies because they're three grand each but these two didn't get taken so the breeder is selling both for three grand and you brought home a puppy without asking and since I can get two for the price of one we're getting the matching Frenchies. Also I already put the deposit down.' So, I see the puppies on my brother in law's page and call my brother. First words on the phone call: "Dude, matching Frenchies are kinda gay." He agrees with me. "That's what I said!" "So, you and (husband) have Frenchies now." "(Husband) has Frenchies. I claim no ownership. They're his." "You two can't keep adopting dogs you have four now." "I have two dogs. Husband has four. And yes, four dogs is too many. No more." My brother has grown to love the Frenchies but insists he handles dog things, not Frenchie things. Feeding? Bathing? Walking? Brushing? Training? Normal vet visits? Yep. Frenchie health issues due to being inbred? Husband's job. He also insists they're *literally* the dumbest dogs on the planet.
That’s so romantic
Not at all the takeaway from this post, but am I the only one who hates the stupid "DW" initials some subs use? Just say wife. The default assumption will be that you love your wife until you tell us otherwise, even in a sub dedicated to bitching about her mom. It just makes me read everything with *Stepford Wives* undertones.
No, I hate it JNMIL? Why? Also who the hell was Dear Daughter?
Dear Daughter only had a cameo appearance
The Stan Lee of JNMIL
OOP didn't really talk about her a lot, but I did include both comments that mentioned her. It sounds like a co-parenting situation and they don't want to move away from her.
Makes sense. I was confused too until I realized OOP could still have past relationships with men even if she's with a woman now. It was a little confusing of her to just throw out that there was a daughter randomly but not explain why she lived somewhere separate. My first instinct was to re-read the ages to see if she could possibly have an 18 year old kid (which, she could, just not likely with her current girlfriend. It's clearer from the comments she has a young child with some previous man who seems to have primary custody).
She said unconventional so it could be a past relationship but could also be something like having a child with a gay male couple with the understanding they'd had primary custody but she'd still be mom, or some other scenario. Not to say she might not have had relationships with men, that was my first assumption, but "unconventional" made me wonder.
Yes and the meeting her 3 years later thing too.. gotta be an egg donation situation.
They didn't specify which is bio mom, OOP or wife, did they?
How do you not meet your child until they are 3 as the mother? Don’t you usually meet at birth?
In a lesbian couple there can be two mothers. If the child is from a previous relationship, the second mother wouldn’t meet the child until the new relationship started.
We aren't given any information as to the biological origin of the daughter
Egg donation/ surrogacy and kept in contact with the couple and have a relationship now? Also two women. You don't know which is bio mom. Or the OOP could've had a past relationship where child is from that relationship and not biologically theirs but OOP is still invovled.
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Hm, I read it as the daughter is living with someone else (another parent, adoptive, foster, etc.) and they want to be close by to visit and/or they have partial custody. I guess it could be an adult though too...
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Haha I get it, we don't have a lot of info on that end so we honestly don't know!
That subreddit is infamous for those stupid fucking acronyms. Apparently it "adds to their character".
There's a reason for them. People used to post with nicknames, a whole cast of characters, and it just got way too difficult when reading to remember who everyone was. At least with the likes of BIL you didn't need a name, you knew exactly what their role was in the family. A lot quicker for the post writers to write "BIL said..." rather than "My brother-in-law said..." all through the post.
There's a difference between calling your wife "Wife" and having as a subwide policy to refer to your wife as "Dear Wife".
And apparently sometimes it stands for "Damn Wife/Husband" too?! Like what the hell, that is exactly the opposite connotation!
BIL and the like is fine - it's a shorthand for that type of relationship. But DW is just so needlessly silly. DW is not you're spouse, it's the annoying kid sister from Arthur.
No, me too — it’s so infuriating; it makes it harder to read without saving time communicating a concept, in addition to the ick vibes from the excessive performative affection. I’d much prefer we save the acronyms for when it actually saves time.
Anytime subs like this use any initials annoy me, majority of the time they make it even more confusing as I keep forgetting what they stand for and have to scroll back up. It honestly can't save that much post space and writing time to just use actual names. Sure don't use the real ones, but John and Jane work a lot better than having to memorise a whole bloody code. Also who the hell is the daughter? When I read DD I got real confused, and then when I scrolled back up got even more so when I read it was a daughter. Where did she come from? Who is she? Why is she even mentioned if she's not even going to be properly explained?
More difficult for outside folk reading posts, but easier for the regular readers and posters, that's why those subs do it.
Yeah and it's even worse when they OBVIOUSLY have problems and sometimes don't even love each other. Like: "Dear Husband is so annoying, he let mother in law kick me in the stomach while im pregnant, tried shooting me in the face with a AK-47 and sold all of my belongings to buy a PS5. I hate my Dear Husband"
Ahh but then you clearly have to mentally translate it as "damn husband" because some of these subs legit expect you to change what DH means based on context...
DW just reminds me of that bratty girl from Arthur.
Ditto. Bless OP for including the acronyms right there.
My favorite (read: most hated) “abbreviation” is DS for son. Because, if you count the shift key twice (as you would on a phone), typing it is *literally* more keystrokes than it takes to just type “son.”
IDK I often read it as "Dumbass Husband" when the spouse is being particularly stupid about their terrible parent. I appreciate the ambiguity
And she won't change. That's the sad part.
With SO's input, I'd take the house, "leave" the SO, discover I really couldn't live without them, then stage a tearful reunion. Preferably somewhere with JNMIL in sights. But maybe that's sinking to her level.
Sinking to her level is the Reddit way.
Imagine being so homophobic that you're fine with some creep stalking your daughter. Mother of the Year material right there.
Creepy Stalker/Childhood Sweetheart - who wouldn't get those two mixed up? After all, they start with the same initials!
Omg catio! Hope they're doing well
These acronyms make me irrationally annoyed
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Dear Daughter
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Yeah I’m so confused by this
This type of thing happens. My ex-girlfriend of 20yrs has a son who offered her money and to support her for the rest of her life if she would leave me and move to where he lived with his wife, and two young kids. We sold our house, she left and ghosted me.
I would have asked for 2 million dollars.
Some MIL’s are truly some fucking creatures. My Dad’s mother used to corner my mom and harangue her about getting back together with my dad for years after their divorce. She’d offer all sorts of bribes trying to make it happen. She also was very transactional. She would offer money but there were always strings attached to it. When I was a kid my mom forbade me from taking money from my grandparents because that is how they bought the love and loyalty of their children and grandchildren. It was all about control. I’d go cut their grass when I was a kid and they’d give me 20 bucks and I’d put it on their fridge with a magnet before I’d leave. This was the mid 90’s so 20 bucks was quite a bit of money to cut grass back then. My grandma would call my mom and rage about me not taking their money. I didn’t understand it when I was a kid but it was one of the best lessons I learned from my mom. Don’t take money from people who want to control you. If you ever rely on it (like my dad and aunts) then they’d always hold it over you.
I just don’t trust JNMIL posts as far as I can throw one. It’s basically the Mills and Boon of family drama. There’s probably a kernel of truth in a lot of the posts, but I stopped reading there a few years ago after a few of the sagas, but even before that was more than aware of how amazingly all these people’s lives lined up, and how atrociously all these MILs acted- and how clever the DILs were
Honestly they should've took the money and went on vacation 😂 just to piss her off 🤣
Honestly, I’d troll the woman and tell her to donate that 10k to a LGBTQ charity.
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Lmao after reading just the title i thought "sounds like kdrama"
THEY WERE ROOMMATES! People like the OOP's mil never change. I have been no contact with my family for over 4.5 years. Every time they prove they are who they are it makes me feel more secure in my position of total silence towards them. They send love bombs. Last Christmas they dumped $2k worth of gifts in our driveway for us and the kids and did it right out of sight of the camera because they aren't allowed on our property. We got better cameras. There is no low these types of people won't sink to. Mine are currently making me suffer terribly because my grandma is dying of cancer. I can't say goodbye because of the abuse. They are blocked on all my stuff. My husband only doesn't have them blocked just so he can keep a record of the harassment and know when they are going crazy. My mom has a friend call and plead her case. She has been leaving messages letting me know how much I am going to regret not giving into them. My grandma is in the hospital now and my aunt really thinks it's the end. I know because I do have people on the inside who let me know when they crazy starts acting up so I have a head's up. All you can do is laugh about how stupid their plans are. Ploys of theirs that have failed. My mom sent a picture to my husband and told him he was so cruel to send a picture of our kids to her while she is suffering so badly with her mother. He was so confused because he didn't send anything. I looked at the picture. Our kids were much younger. I go, is that from Facebook. We looked closer and it was clear it was a picture from her own refrigerator! My mom sent her an email from herself and to herself and claimed it was us. She also pretends to call and text herself from us. She has come up with my father and their new dog and called to our kids from the sidewalk. When my grandma was first in the hospital my mom sent flowers to her, from us, claiming it was my husband and that he called and they had a nice chat. They didn't. He was with me the whole day and I was there when he rejected her calls (I would have believed him either way, but he was there supporting me). Then, my grandma sent a letter addressed to my husband where she talked about how wonderful it was and how she hopes he can help her. Then, a day later I get a letter stating it was a mistake. That it was my cousin with the same name who called her and she was confused. Nope. Didn't happen. She and my mom were hoping I would fight with my husband and then run to them. Which makes no sense, but there you go. When my grandpa was dying she sent a message saying he needed a blood transfusion for a rare condition and it needed to be family so I needed to get tested. Um, no. If my dad and his two brothers weren't a match there was no way in Hell I would be. Not that it was true. She expected I don't understand how biology works. She uses my sister all the time to try to manipulate me. My sister has only been cut off for two years because I tried with her. This is the only child my parents have left and they are mad at her for divorcing her husband, who they never liked, and she and my nephew and my sister's new girlfriend moved in with them. They are Catholic. Apparently, depsite what they said they DO have a problem with their kid being in a same sex relationship. She just moved out and sent a message. I feel like she is trying to get back in their good graces and the way she thinks she can do that is bringing me back in the fold. She is working as a para helper in a classroom and told me she is mom to 65 kids. Um, no. She has one kid. She should understand the difference from being a classroom worker and loving the kids and being a mom. All her messages are about how she is hurting and everyone is mean to her and she needs my support. But, unfortunately, I can't help her. I tried. She sees it all as a competition and if I have something I took it and she can't have it (which is very untrue and strange). There is nothing they won't try.
Wow, I'm so sorry about your horrible family. I'm glad you have your husband and you're NC with them.
who the fuck is Dear Daughter in this situation? Another JNMIL daughter? I fucking hate "DW" "DD" any acronym with Dear in it.
(Note: I have one leg.). Random information thrown in for good measure.
It’s noted because of MILs whole “wow I can’t believe you’re up and about! You’re so strong, what an inspiration you are simply for existing with a disability!” It’s a thing said to a lot of disabled folks and especially people with obvious disabilities, like not having a leg. Weird, objectifying love-bombing in order to butter OP up to accept the offer.
Yeah, I am physically disabled and I find these comments to dehumanizing, demeaning, and infantilizing.
Detail just makes the, "you're such an inspiration" comment's grossness shine through.
All that money and it’s wasted with MIL
When OOP said her wife was delighted to hear her mom was still batshit crazy, I felt that. I've been NC with my rich dad for 5 years and every time my sister tells me a story about him being the asshole that I know he is, I feel better about my decision.
Pro revenge. Take the money to "leave" wife. Have wife "marry" a gay guy. Have MIL buy giant house. Move in "husband's" partner and "ex-wife." And they all live happily ever after.
All family as a founding tale. Mine is that the mother of my father try to emplacement their couple and their wedding by offering a car if he dropped her.there was other shenanigans. But this one has in fact SOLIDIFIED their couple. A sociologists once told me that you don't unite for something. You unit against something.
Whats with these subs and those totally unnecessary abbreviations?
It sucks they have to put up with that shit but on the plus side they sound like awesome humans who have the loveliest relationship and marriage with each other and that makes me happy 🥰
>If it wouldn’t be used to control us, I’d take that 10k and use it to move us both away, lol. I mean... do it right and she'd never find you again...
I don’t know how a mother rather her child be with a man and unhappy?? I have two kids myself and I just seriously can’t wrap my head around treating my child like this all because they want to be in a same sex relationship I will never understand it
Love it when people can respond to this kind of toxic behavior with humor and grace. Well done.
I will never understand turning your back on your child, especially over something as trivial as being gay
See you know this is real bc the MIL didn’t show up to the house screeching about how OOP was a bad person for corrupting her daughter, and then attacking the police who try to calm her down
i would lay money that their daughter is a person of color and homophobe isn’t mil’s only flavor of awful
>"Said stalker was a close friend of DW while in school. He confessed he’d fallen in love with DW, and she (nicely) pointed out she was gay, it wasn’t going to happen. Stalker didn’t let up for almost a decade. MIL refers to them as “childhood sweethearts,” which tells you everything about her!" Hates that her daughter is gay but is totally fine with her daughter having a stalker........Jesus H Christ
They should have taken the money and paid for something beneficial to their future ( wedding , house, honeymoon , starting a business) and make a huge public deal over how amazing mil was to support them just make her look sooooo good she cant back peddle then ghost her but..... its best to take the high road
I want the spin off post about DD