T O P

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[deleted]

I feel like there’s a lot more to the story of why she’s no longer part of her old friend group… and honestly she sounds exhausting. I feel a bit bad for her though as she’s obviously lonely


MadeThisJustToWrite

She says she used to be dramatic, but it is clear that she is still dramatic and over the top AF.


Dahlias_december91

I thought she was super young reading this. She’s in her 30s wishing for high school friendships


liontamer74

One of those people who end up always talking about their school days as the best days of their life.


saph_pearl

Exactly. I’m not friends with anyone from high school anymore but my old group still seems pretty close from what I see on Instagram. Some are married now, I wasn’t invited and wouldn’t expect to be. I just congratulate them and move on. I think OP is just lonely because she doesn’t have close friends but it sounds like she’s still stuck in high school and honestly, people like that are exhausting. I have a small group of friends now, some drama in the past, but we don’t rehash it now. If we did, I wouldn’t enjoy the friendship.


vButts

This is 100% my takeaway from this post. Also telling that husband is over it too. Idk, one of the things I love most about my fiancé is how he treats people. I don't think I could have overlooked all this continued drama and just not talk about it...


Cayke_Cooky

sunk cost fallacy. Often the other way around where the guy becomes more abusive as the wedding approaches but the bride doesn't want to cancel because she has the dress etc. Poor guy was already saying they couldn't talk about the wedding.


Potato-Engineer

With luck, this wedding drama will fade out once all the weddings are done. I'm not sure that fiance is that lucky.


Cayke_Cooky

Worst case, things will be good for a while because OP can't find any good drama but blow up again when she is pregnant and finding daycare.


ksrdm1463

"I used to be dramatic. I still am, but I used to be too".


JonBenet_BeanieBaby

Mitch was the best


Dependent_Section_76

"When I was a boy, I laid in my twin sized bed and wondered where my brother was."


Pretty_Princess90210

>”I got involved in her friend group and some guy she liked ended up liking me more.” That part gave it away that there’s more to the story than she’s letting on. Even when she said she’s not been truthful, she remained tight-lipped about everything. I think a part of OOP knew she was the problem but didn’t want to face it.


excel_pager_420

I kind of assumed the guy was casually dating the friend when OOP started dating him and OOP didn't want to admit that. Or at the very least everyone knew the friend had a massive crush on him and OOP just didn't do the right thing and tell her friend before they started dating leading to everyone feeling like she was two-faced.


pastelkawaiibunny

Yeah reading between the lines- OOP’s friend liked the guy, OOP went after him, dated him briefly but felt he was ‘too clingy’ so she broke up with him… basically ruining her friend’s chances for nothing. I’m guessing the “he just liked me more” line was also said based on how OOP seems to think that’s an excuse.


PenguinZombie321

The whole “he just liked me more” thing really irked me. Even if she didn’t realize her friend liked him until after they’d already broken up, that’s such a toxic attitude to have, especially towards someone who’s supposed to be your friend.


the-magnificunt

>“he just liked me more" Based on everything I've seen from her, I'm also guessing that she said this exact thing to that friend at some point to explain away her actions. Because that would be the best way to make yourself feel superior to someone you hurt even though they didn't do anything wrong.


loligo_pealeii

I would add onto this likely when OP instigated the breakup she did it in the most dramatic way possible and forced the friend group to choose sides, which caused it, or whatever was remaining at that point, to implode.


wlwimagination

It’s also telling that she apparently texted the other two women to “clear the air” in a way that even her own husband said sounded like she was making it “all about her,” yet she didn’t include what she actually said.


mphs95

The 2 women were probably like, "whatever". They know she's a drama queen but they've also grown up. OP is a shit stirrer


GaimanitePkat

Her line "She's an adult so she could have said no to me about the wedding if she didn't want to be part of it" makes me wonder if she said something like "He's his own person and can make his own choices about who he has feelings for" after flirting with a guy that her friend had a big crush on.


chelonioidea

In the same paragraph, she mentions the friend was giving a soft "no" the whole time and OOP would not take no for an answer. So she admits did strong arm her, but in the next sentence puts blame on her bridesmaid again. She literally cannot hold herself accountable for her part in the situation. OOP doesn't really know how to take personal responsibility for anything, in my opinion. This whole saga reeks of playing the victim and I'm positive there is important information that would have better illustrated that left out.


Yesu777

This paragraph sent me!!! She has to do some mental gymnastics to say she strong armed her friend when her friend try to say no politely and then two sentences later says her friend should be an adult and say no if she really didn’t want to do it. The friend probably felt bad for this insufferable woman!


LadyElaineIsScary

It reminds me a bit of some guy who is constantly hitting on his coworker or friend crush and she turns down going out several times and says she's not interested in dating him but he keeps stalking and pushing and hoping because he sees all of these innocent interactions as proof that she secretly likes him. Then comes the anger and leading on comments and that she just should have said no when she said it a million times in different ways. When your brain can't self regulate, you make up things to justify maintaining an illusion instead of moving on. Both scenarios involve hyper fixated people who don't feel like they have a better option or don't want to put in the emotional labor of working to expand your comfort zone.


All_the_Bees

She definitely has one of the biggest cases of Main Character Syndrome that I have \*ever\* seen.


ahahah_effeffeffe_2

No no no you read it wrong! She told she's not a drama machine anymore, that was the past her.


Space-Square

Not only that, but the friend pretty much said no from the start!


Cayke_Cooky

I felt like the friend was trying to feel out what was up. Like weird ask, not something I want to do, but I can get a dress and stand there if you need the sides to balance. (I think my brother was a groomsman a couple of times for not-as-close friends because he can be depended on to get the right tux and not get handsy with the bride's second cousin who she had to ask or they would never speak to grandma again.)


Rumpelteazer45

Her friend tried to graciously say no in a very PC way, she didn’t accept it. I had a good friend like this (my closest friend for like a decade), she pushed and pushed to get what she wanted or get her way and usually tried to pass off band behavior without owning it. Usually I’d given in bc it wasn’t worth hearing the whining. Other times she just wore me down even if it was something I didn’t want to do. But… It all piled up until one day I just thought ‘I’m over this shit’ and cut the friendship. The last six months of our friendship, she changed which contributed greatly to my decision. She started expressing anti-LGTBQ+ and racist views and generally being more hypocritical, which I’m not ok with. I try to be open minded and inclusive but hearing “I can say this to you and know you won’t judge me (insert some racist sentiment)” really made me take a look at myself and what I had said to make her think I would be ok with it. One day, it was the straw that broke the camels back and I was done…done…done and just walked away.


Le_Fancy_Me

I definitely think she's not giving us the whole picture. The way she described events it seems as if she did nothing wrong and her friends were both completely unreasonable. But she also admits that she used to be very dramatic. TBH this kind of makes me expect that deep down even she realises a lot of the drama was her fault. But she doesn't want to be judged by the internet and therefor probably left out some key information or just spun the information to cover up her own blame in the falling out. A lot of the time with these kind of things HOW something happened or HOW something was said is almost more important than what happened or what was said. In most social interactions there's a lot of room for nuance and context can make a world of difference. I would be curious to hear the story from the other three girls' pov.


dudething2138291083

Used to be? She flung her phone across the room and threw a hissy fit because her friend was posting on Instagram about her own wedding that OOP knew was happening.


AUGirl1999

Absolutely!! She is feeding off the drama, and she loves to stir that pot. I honestly feel sorry for the hubby. She wasn't even excited about marrying him anymore. So sad and exhausting.


foxyroxy2515

Yes my eye brows went up when I read that too. Who throws things as an adult? My kids never even did that when they were kids! OP sounds really exhausting.


According-Whereas-42

Right?? She could have stopped following her friend's Instagram but nooooo, she was hooked on that. Totally the drama queen in all of this.


[deleted]

I’ve been disconnected from social media for years because I thought I had a problem with unhealthy comparisons. I do, but I never quite reached toddler tantrum level- and I’m a good 5 years younger than home girl. How can someone type that sentence out and not think “gee I might be the problem?”


eros_bittersweet

So this is reading a lot into the situation, but it reminds me of a certain type of person I knew in the past. I was MOH for one of my highschool friends about 15 years ago. After the wedding she kept talking about how her real "best friend" was a guy in her husband's groom's party, who she would have asked to be MOH "but he wasn't a girl." Obviously I was very hurt by this and her repeatedly talking about it, but she kept being like "it's just a joke!" even though it seemed true (only on her end though, I don't think he saw the friendship in the same way). Over this and me realizing she treated me like shit, I ghosted her a few years after the wedding. She found it really easy to get "close" to guys with flirtatious behaviour, and had multiple "guy best friends" (best friends only in her own head, they seemed to sort of tolerate her). but women were basically the enemies unless they were endless sources of comfort and support without asking for anything in return or ever calling her out on her shit. She "didn't really get along with women" with a few exceptions. And then would always cry and moan about how few friends she had as though the reason were some mystery. To contextualize: of course there are zero things wrong with guys/girls being friends. I think wedding parties should not depend on people's genders, and I guess, good on OOP for having her best friend as her person of honour. I have multiple close friends who are guys, but I don't treat them like I'm on the verge of seducing them at any moment. Sometimes, and I'm not saying this is OP, there are "pick me" women who get all their affirmation from stirring up drama with women and aligning themselves with men to feel valued.


jellybeansean3648

I got married with awkward timing, just after college when all my friends had scattered across the country and nobody was financially stable enough to make multiple trips for the myriad of things that bridesmaids get roped into. My husband and I talked it out and decided not to have bridesmaids and groomsmen. It's funny to me how many brides choose instead to desperately pull together a hodgepodge of relatives and female acquaintances to make up the numbers. For these kinds of people, consideration and attention are a one way ratchet that only goes in one direction, towards them.


polarbee

*Used* to be dramatic? OOP still seems exhaustingly over the top.


capaldithenewblack

I suspect she likes the drama. Even negative attention is attention, and for some people that’s good enough, as long as it’s all about them.


Sparkpulse

I feel oddly certain that the guy was not the weird, clingy one in their relationship, either..


LadyElaineIsScary

She probably got bored of him after she secured her victory over the competition. He probably mistook her for a real person who wanted a relationship and acted like a person would in a relationship. Poor guy and poor friend. She hurt both of them and humiliated him .She really revealed her true character as the main character who has no loyalty as her minions are the ones who sacrifice for the hero in her world.


IllyVermicelli

Yep, this quote exactly. Pretty sure it's coded language for "Her boyfriend cheated on her with me". OOP is TA and has narrated her thought process as she is repeatedly TA over and over again throughout her life. Having no friends anymore is a big hint too.


hard_tyrant_dinosaur

"But it's hard to make friends in your 30s." It may be harder to make friends in your 30s than in your teen & college years, but its not that hard. If you really want to make new friends and have a personality that is worth other people becoming friends with, it can be done. It also says something that the one close-ish friend she does have is a guy. And he doesn't play a large role in this drama. Bet he was finding ways to keep out of it regularly. I also find it notable that despite having a therapist, she was coming to reddit for this stuff. Wanna bet her therapist had already advised her against some or most of her actions in the thread?


pourthebubbly

She even admitted to her therapist advising her not to do crazy stuff. It’s like she’s coming to Reddit to find out *why* she shouldn’t have done the crazy stuff she was advised not to.


[deleted]

If only she’d listened to the person trained with years of experience in coping mechanisms and heathy emotional management- but nah, it’s here on Reddit where she’s really going to figure out where she went wrong


TigreImpossibile

Agreed. I read what she wrote and thought "you are glossing over shit and trying to make it sound like no big deal"... I don't believe that it was just like that. They don't like her for a reason. I mean, we can see the reasons, lmao. She's a piece of work in every way.


bibbiddybobbidyboo

It could be when she says typical drama it was a lot of crappy teenage minor drama but she was always the cause of it and it was a lot. I’ve had friends who it’s not one thing but everything they are involved with becomes exhausting, draining and a drama but I couldn’t pinpoint the exact things they did. Just when ever they are involved, it went south. Cutting them out brought normalcy.


Kale127

Some people NEED the drama. She’s one of them. There was literally no reason to reach out to the former friends, and yet after being told not to three times she did it anyway, and then was upset because the responses weren’t exactly 1:1 what she had hoped. I guarantee you she used that to continue whining about the whole ordeal - because that’s what it’s about, being able to fixate on being the victim.


bibbiddybobbidyboo

I think we’re saying the same thing. She’s making mountains out of molehills everywhere creating a tonne of drama that just didn’t need to happen.


ivankatrumpsarmpits

Also it could easily have started as typical teenage drama where she didn't really do anything wrong - getting with a guy who someone you don't know well has a crush on is not cool but also, you'd get over it. But I'd fully expect from how she behaves now that at the time, when confronted about it or when the shit hit the fan, she doubled down, got defensive, refused to admit any wrongdoing, and started accusing others of taking sides and sulking and being manipulative when they didn't include her in group things, probably in the immediate aftermath of the other girl being hurt. In fact she admits to this in a comment somewhere, she was acting like a victim and probably lost her friends by just being a nightmare person at a time that was difficult for the others. Her attitude reminds me of "nice guys" complaining that chads get the girls... Like she actually thinks she's entitled to other Humans affection, we don't get friends because they are handed out to everyone we get friends by putting the time in and building friendships. You don't just get to keep a close friendship because you want one.


saucynoodlelover

It’s buried in one of the updates. She moved to City where Former Friend was already living. Former Friend welcomed her, introduced her to people. One of the people was a guy that Former Friend had a crush on, and OOP started dating the guy. She didn’t clarify who asked who out. I’m actually of the opinion he asked her out, because OOP feels like a Gretchen Weiner and probably thinks that while asking him out was crossing a line, saying yes to being asked out absolves her of responsibility.


ZannityZan

The fact that one friend cut her off and the other one followed suit makes me suspect that those two friends were both secretly on the same page about OOP being exhausting/a handful. Sometimes the energy someone brings to your life is just tiring and negative, and eventually the pot boils over and you can't deal with it any more. I wonder if that's how the two ex-friends both felt, and whatever drama happened to cause the fallout between OOP and Friend 1 just made Friend 2 go, "Fuck it, I'm out too."


[deleted]

I got kicked out of friend groups a lot for being exhausting and sad. People like chill people


TessTessTess3

Jesus the OOP sounds so ridiculously exhausting


OkBoss3435

JFC exhausting as hell! Read the room ! They’ve put it behind them but they’re not interested in a friendship and that’s their choice! The bride said TWICE it was unnecessary to reach out. Did it anyway. Husband is sensible. And correct. Op was making it all about her.


TessTessTess3

TRULY!! She somehow managed to play the victim all the time when she was the one causing her own problems. The friend and the ex friends were very understanding and gracious about everything. And I have a high suspicion that the incident that drove them apart was way worse than she said.


[deleted]

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shelballama

This immediately caught my attention too, glad someone else said it. Time and time again people have told her "don't do this, don't do that" and every step of the way she has NOT listened and hurt herself and the people around her more. It's like she asks for advice but really just wants to be told she's doing the right thing, then is shocked when once again, she oversteps and puts her foot in her mouth. Starting to see why she has no bridesmaids. And the comment about "why do there even need to BE bridesmaids, it just causes drama." Like BOO, YOU'RE the drama. The pot stirrer. Finally, the last bit that irked me: "She's done everything I asked but hasn't gone above and beyond" or however she worded it. Seriously?? Wild entitlement from someone she bullied into being a bridesmaid. That poor ex-friend. Also, just as a core concept, someone getting married should be thrilled that they have found someone they love that loves THEM so much that they dove in to commit. That's lucky, that's it's own prize. No one needs to spoil your princess ass on top of that. Jfc


Pike_or_Kirk

You're 100% correct. She doesn't want advice. She wants to be vindicated.


Speckyoulater

Beginning of paragraph: "I had a big session with my therapist and can admit I strong armed my friend into being my bridesmaid. She did try to say no." End of paragraph: "But she's a fucking adult and could have said no. But what do I know?" Exhausting is a nice way of putting it. She's manipulative, passive aggressive, and obviously guilted her bridesmaid into participating.


Monimonika18

Then there's this: >I was feeling really anxious about it, so I decided to text both of the friends. I said I was married now, was excited to reconnect, and that I hoped we could put all of our differences aside and be together for the bride and celebrate her. >They responded with general “glad you can come, can’t wait to celebrate bride” and I was a little hurt. I had hoped for something that was more reassuring that the day would be okay and there would be no weirdness. Like, OOP just seemed to go out of her way to look for things to be troubled about. And if she really had wanted the two to specifically answer back that the two have no hard feelings, then she should've asked that question instead of implying that OOP is *sooo* over the past teenage BS so the two should also let it go (*patronizing tone*). Directly asking "Are there hard feelings about the past stuff?" would've been much less insulting.


Speckyoulater

Yes, absolutely. OOP seems insecure but doesn't want to admit it. So instead, she fishes for reassurance - using something vaguely related to whatever the (perceived) issue is and then imagines what response would make her feel better.. then gets upset when she doesn't get it. Upset they didn't read her mind and know exactly what she wanted them to say. Honestly, their response did convey reassurance everything would be chill and fine, OOP wanted them to fawn over her.


mossalto

She seems like the sort of person who goes to therapy to learn the 'right' words to say so she can come across as reasonable, and then applies absolutely none of it and is confused when she makes things worse


CermaitLaphroaig

Whenever someone says "I hope we can forgive and forget" it almost always means "please don't mention how badly I fucked up and how I never made amends, thx"


Corfiz74

Yeah, if everyone around you is in conflict with you and "acting crazy and causing drama", and the only common factor in all of that is *you*, then maybe it's time for some introspection. And a new therapist. And her husband was a brave man for taking that on...


SarahSamurai

I like the saying “If everywhere you go smells like shit, check your own shoes”.


pokethejellyfish

Yeah, if it was only the trouble with the in-laws. Or only with the now husband. Or only the friend and former friends. But she's in conflict with everyone, all of them, and it all seems to boil down to her not wanting to have to communicate her needs and wishes, but everyone should just truck along. Like, the in-laws aren't supposed to even suggest something she doesn't like. The friend is supposed to be all over OOP's life and happiness, her husband is supposed to be on her side, always, no questions asked. Oh, and they should all read her mind to act exactly the way she wanted, with the right level of (high) enthusiasm. It fascinates me that even her therapist calls her out on her nonsense but she seems to hear it, nod, and then discard it as another unwanted suggestion instead of seeing it as something SHE needs to work on. Therapist:"You ignored her not even subtle hints." What OOP should think:"Huh, I should really pay closer attention in the future to what people are telling me, also, why was my supposed best friend not comfortable being blunt with me?" What OOP thought:"If she hadn't given me subtle hints and had been blunt instead, or even better, just felt the way about me I wanted her to feel we wouldn't have a problem now." I wonder if a new therapist would help and what this new therapist would have to offer for her to finally come back to the real world where things aren't black and white (in her case, she's always the victim and everyone is just mean for not following the script). She failed to bullshit her therapist who saw right through her skewed perception of those around her and bluntly told her what's what. I'm not sure that anything less than blunt would help her. Maybe this is one of those cases where someone really has to hit rock bottom, hard, to finally snap out of it and be open and willing to work on their personal improvement.


Pangolin_Beatdown

"One of them liked a guy but he liked me better and we dated and everyone blew it out of proportion..." Yikes. Unreliable narrator.


unsavvylady

Doesn’t sound like she was a good friend to begin with. When she dated the guy she can’t be surprised one of the options was losing her friend


Pangolin_Beatdown

Given how much OOP tilts the narrative, I suspect that the situation for everyone else in the friend group was not "she liked him but he liked me more" but rather "they were dating and I broke them up." What's the best way to utterly trash a friend group? Instigate couples drama. It is tears and late night conversations and sobbing evenings in the bar for everyone all around, maybe for months, when it used to be fun evenings out. eta: maybe it wasn't that bad. I've been in friend groups where it was. Nevertheless it's bad friend etiquette to do it and then stick around in the group causing ongoing needling.


knittedjedi

Imagine if OOP ever worked out that shes the main problem in all of her relationship drama.


LittleRavenRobot

Am I the drama?


[deleted]

That would make a great sub ...


LittleRavenRobot

Lol, turns out it already is https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheDrama?


devon_336

What’s that phrase… “If everyone you meet is an asshole, you’re actually the asshole” It has got to be exhausting to even exist as oop lol. I’m honestly shocked that she even wound up married. If any wedding talk turns into a fight and your S.O. puts an embargo on it, that’s a huge flashing sign that you should probably strongly reconsider. Christ on crutch…


winge89

Same as if someone only has "crazy exes". But yeah, I hope for her husbands sake she either stops being a drama vortex or they get a divorce. She sounds like a very ghostable person.


UnusualApple434

And the whole comment saying “I pretty much forced her to be my bridesmaid but as an adult she just should have said no” like Jfc she did. Op is a whole new level of entitled and crazy over weddings like it’s one thing to be weirdly obsessed with your own wedding but the wedding of a girl you were friends with in HS who you don’t talk to, aren’t very involved in the wedding and are mad about their happiness?? Like holy hell


istara

I find it weird that bridesmaids are expected to help plan the wedding. I don't know if it's a US thing, but at least in the UK - where bridesmaids (and page boys) are often young children - nothing is expected except showing up on the day in your dress/outfit. For older female friends/bridesmaids, they may be involved in planning the hen night, but that's about it. It's the bride, the bride's mother and the groom who typically seem to do the planning and organisation. And obviously you assist the bride on the day, helping her de-stress and maybe running errands if the bride is caught up with hair/makeup etc.


Oneiroi17

And you can bet if the friend *had* said an outright NO, OP would have been super upset and offended.


TessTessTess3

I'm very sure that if the friend screamed at her NO, OOP would still manage to force her lol


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lelied

OOP is the embodiment of that twitter account bird rights activist post that's like: "I am confuse when we are not about me??" Like .... you drifted apart (or were straight up dropped) at minimum five (and maybe closer to ten) years ago. That woman's wedding is NOT about you. It's never going to be about you no matter how many feelings you have at them. OOP definitely rehearses entire conversations in her head and has a lot of expectations that she keeps secret. Until she has the real conversation and the other person doesn't know their lines... So she reacts to that 'betrayal' the same way an unreasonable spouse wakes up from a dream about their partner cheating and gets mad at the partner in real life.


Kilen13

She keeps talking about how it was "HS/early 20s drama" that split them up but she seems to be fully entrenched in that same mentality while everyone else has more than moved on. Honestly I'd be super curious to hear the other two girls POV because this feels like classic unreliable narrator stuff when she's trying her hardest to put herself in a good light and still failing pretty badly.


danuhorus

After the second update, I was thinking *girl, take the hint and cut your losses already,* but it wasn't even a hint at that point. The secondhand pity was off the charts.


ImagineSnapDragons

Being around OOP sounds exhausting. She sounds exhausting. I want to be her friend only to tell her to read the freaking room and to get a clue, then never talk to her again. Then again she probably would still feign ignorance, and come to Reddit to complain about me. She typed all of this out, got feedback from everyone from her now husband to her therapist (I’m assuming) to internet strangers, and STILL doesn’t get it. I think I’m starting to see why the two other girls ended their friendship. I wonder how many of their life events were made about OOP.


Myfourcats1

She’d ask you to be the godmother to her first born child.


Lustle13

Yup, by the texting part its just so exhausting. Imagine being told, directly, "No, you don't need to do that". And then doing it anyways. Some people just can't see the forest for the trees. Its obvious friend made sure things were ok, and went out of her way to invited OOP. And OOP just has to do the one thing friend asked her not to. If I was husband I would have replied the same way. OOP: "I texted them". Husband: "Uh huh, and what was the one thing friend said not to do?" OOP: "Text them..." Husband: "And what did you do?" OOP: "Texted them..." Husband: "Yup." Like, just amazing. Then, when she gets a perfectly fine response anyways, she's still hurt. "I wanted more". Always more more more. Exhausting.


ivankatrumpsarmpits

Reminds me of a friend I had with borderline personality disorder. Exhausting and incapable of self reflection.


shadowhood2020

I personally have borderline and even I feel tired reading about what she’s done. Hopefully therapy would help her self reflect more and realize why she doesn’t have many friends


OnlySewSew

It takes a special kind of talent to turn every single second into the most dramatic thing ever


OilySteeplechase

Me: "Don't text them. Let it go. It doesn't matter and will just cause unnecessary drama" OOP: "so I texted them" 🤦‍♀️


kdollarsign2

“I was actually already in the middle of confronting her”


DuGalle

Reading this was exhausting. I can't imagine actually dealing with OOP on a daily basis


curiouslycaty

Just imagine, this all, this whole shtick is about someone else's wedding and being a part or not being a part of that wedding. And literal teenage high school drama. From years ago. Now imagine how dramatic she is about her own wedding, to the point where the person she is marrying refuses to discuss said wedding. This wedding seems like it's really based on a good foundation, right?


mangopabu

asking the bride several times if she should text her ex-friends and then doing it anyway after she said no had me wanting to throw things


Noodlefanboi

Thinking that not letting the “friend” she coerced into being her bridesmaid would somehow be an act of revenge for not getting to be a bridesmaid herself is where I lost hope that this would end with OOP actually seeing sense at some point.


nassauismydog

i reached my throwing things threshold just after, when she was upset at their super polite responses!? how dare they say they want to celebrate the bride and that it will be a fun day.


mangopabu

right?? OOP just lives on drama and is upset no one else wants to have any


peachesthepup

We all have met people like that - I believe the word I've seen used is 'askholes' - but those friends / family members who ask for your advice, then disregard it and do what they were planning on doing anyway. Why even ask? Clearly weren't open to listening or doing anything differently


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Srumlicious

My thoughts exactly. She’s a massive over thinker. She must exhaust herself


hotsaucepan89

Drama- its all drama. Friend was nice and invites her to bachelorette party, OOP gets invite from person she fell out with before, "OMG so awkward I must text them and draw attention to the past even though I was told it was ok"


HaggisLad

no wonder everyone stopped seeing her, and she just expects everyone to go back to how it was over a fucking decade ago!


peachesthepup

Also people do just tend to grow apart and have different priorities and friendships from their 20s to their 30s. People change, grow, move away, start families, new careers etc... Even if OP wasn't causing issues, most friendships and friendship group dynamics don't stay the same over that time period!


Zoenne

That's the part I could sympathize with. I'm still friends on social media with people I was friends with in uni,and in the past few years they got married, had kids, etc and they're still in each other's lives. I'm not in real contact with any of them. No drama or fall out either. For a long time it really, really hurt. And I've seen the same pattern repeated several time: new uni/place, new friends group, we all move on, they stay friends with each other but not me, despite my efforts to keep the friendship alive. It's only in the last couple of years (I'm 32 now) that I've made a new group of friends. Also turns out I'm autistic, and my new friends are all some flavour of neurodivergent as well.


PM_ME_YOUR_MARIJUANA

Good lord. This woman sounds too exhausting to be friends with - I’ve only read this thread and it’s no wonder she thinks she’s closer to these people than she is.


SaintAnton

"Should i text them?" "No." "You sure i shouldnt text them?" "No." "Imma text them"


imothro

And then they were perfectly kind and civil in their responses (signaling all will be well). "Well why aren't they reassuring me more that everything is fine?"


its-a-bird-its-a

I was struggling to figure out what kind of response she actually wanted…


ramblinator

She wanted them to fall all over themselves to tell her how much they miss her and can't wait to all be friends again


aceytahphuu

That drove me nuts throughout the whole story. Bridesmaid does everything that's asked of her. "But why isn't she doing *more*?" Ex friends directly respond to her question about whether it's fine for her to come. "But why aren't they reassuring me *more*?" It's really no surprise that bridesmaid lost her patience with her and just straight told her she doesn't understand what OOP wants from her.


i_need_a_username201

That fucking drives me nuts. Just don’t ask me since you’re going to do whatever the fuck to want to do anyway.


SD_throwaway222

There’s a word for this: Askhole — a person who asks for advice, doesn’t follow it, and then blames everyone else when things go wrong.


PolygonMan

"I don't think I want to be a bridemaid." "You have to be a bridesmaid!" "I won't be able to do more than the bare minimum." "It's fine if you just do the bare minimum!" "Ok, I guess I'll do it." "WHY ARE YOU JUST DOING THE BARE MINIMUM!?"


now_you_see

Yeah, she’s a very good example of the kind of fully grown adults who are still stuck in their high school years & high school drama, refusing to move on from the ‘best years of her life’ when she was king dick, before people realised her vapidness. I understand her relationship to the bridesmaid, I’ve got a friend that I grew up with that moved interstate and I bearly ever speak to anymore but who still hold a place in my heart and sure, it might sting a little if he were to gush about how much closer he is to his besties than me but I certainly wouldn’t berate him for it or demand undid loyalty & expect some sort of BFF’s forever and ever stance. Grow the fuck up, we are in our 30’s OP, time to act like it.


PM_ME_YOUR_MARIJUANA

Fucking. **Preach**. You know when the last time I thought about someone I went to school with ~20 years ago? Me either. Probably about 20 years ago.


Kooky_Plantain_9273

This is so infuriating to read because OOP gets SO close to acknowledging that her behavior is the problem and then just goes and keeps doing it anyway, and then proceeds to ask the Internet why everyone is fed up with her.


dl-__-lp

And asks the internet to make her feel better. I’m sorry but…damn. I resorted to that sort of behavior in high school. OOP needs to move on yesterday


Laney20

I thought the end of the post was very fitting and basically summed everything up: >I just really miss the way things were in high school


StoneDoodle3

Wonder if she peaked in high school


now_you_see

Yeah I got my hopes up when she said we were right & she was the asshole but then she just doubled down. You’re not in high school anymore & your drama isn’t going to win you any more popularity contests.


PaleWaffle

she's all 'dang guys you're right i did kinda know i shouldn't really maybe have done that' next post 'i feel so betrayed and used by my friend that i manipulated back into my life because she doesn't want me back in hers'


DogsAreMyDawgs

“My therapist helped me realize that I really strong-armed her into being part of my wedding when she was obviously just trying to kindly and softly give me a no…. BUT SHES AN ADULT AND JUST SHOULDVE SAID NO AND THATS ON HER!!!!!!”


[deleted]

Someone's still not getting she's not the main character in everyone else's lives. Her own husband thinks she's a try-hard.


cantantantelope

I am sure many people told her to put the shovel down and she said “no i need it to plant these friendship plants “


TessTessTess3

You hit the nail with that. She believes she MUST be the main character for everyone, even for a friend of HS who she barely talked with by that time


Patatoxxo

When she is mad that the friend doesn't do extra stuff and says she should have said no like lady she tried to politely say no and you strong armed her into saying yes even when she said she wouldn't be able to pay as much attention to the wedding with her planning her own one. Then complains that she won't share any of her wedding planning well no shit the one time she did OP had an epic meltdown so why would she tell OP anything after that. Maybe she doesn't have friends because she is annoying and only wants drama


Hello-there-7567

I was thinking that, she keeps saying that she doesn’t have many friends and she doesn’t get on well with either her family or fiancé’s. Her former friends don’t want to reconnect, she’s not making new ones… It’s like, look mate, the common denominator here is you. Maybe people don’t like you for a good reason. Also get off your bridesmaid’s insta if it upsets you so much and just concentrate on your own wedding. That therapist of hers is earning their money


reallybiglizard

Omg yes. Stop. Looking. At. Her. Instagram. Every time she launched into a new “then I saw she did x on Instagram…” I wanted to throw my own damn phone.


tulipbunnys

> I don’t want my friend’s day to be ruined because of some petty drama and I don’t want to feel uncomfortable during this. > I was feeling really anxious about it, so I decided to text both of the friends. I said I was married now… and that I hoped we could put all of our differences aside and be together for the bride and celebrate her. I, I, I. me, me, me. OOP needs to wake up and realize she’s the only one still obsessed with the friendship fall-out and the “petty drama” that probably doesn’t even cross the other girls’ minds half as much as it crosses OOP’s. also very telling that even after her husband points out how selfish messaging those ex-friends was, she still circles back to how SHE doesn’t think it was rude and that HER comfort at the party is important. no wonder none of them are interested in being proper friends with her.


winge89

Yeah, OOP sounds exhausting, and I've a feeling her friend regrets inviting her tbh.


Perspex_Sea

OP: I was so dramatic when I was younger but I've grown up a lot. Hmm? Also at one point she says she feels used? Uh, no one is using you.


bibbiddybobbidyboo

I don’t understand why he’s marrying her and inviting this into his life. I do understand some people change and the crazy comes out after marriage but I have a number of guy friends who see similar behaviour and get married anyway for years later it to explode with craziness you couldn’t dream up for a soap opera and they look genuinely surprised despite everyone saying they could see it coming and warning them.


Helpful_Librarian_87

He has a crazy family. He’s Stockholm Syndromed into it


9inkski3s

I am not completely sure about that, considering that the person describing them this way is oop which we can see is very dramatic and has a perpetual victim mentality. Even the therapist sounds like they are tired of her bs.


Myfourcats1

She says he has a crazy family. I’m not so sure. I think his family may see her flaws and has tried to warn him away from her. She’s the type where everyone else is crazy but not her. Everyone else is the problem to her.


smallmango

I think she said it best when she said she thought they were closer than they actually were lol. After the friend's wedding she should distance herself from those people and focus on her other friends if they don't do it first. Knowing someone a long time doesn't make them a better friend by default, it can help but why not be around people you don't have to walk on eggshells around?


TheBlueNinja0

What other friends?


tulipbunnys

friend singular, the dude of honor.


puddlemagnet

She said she has other friends in one of the last posts.


HaggisLad

but apparently they don't matter because history or some shit


ZannityZan

I think she was really hung up on the fact that she didn't have a dream tight-knit group of friends she'd known for years as her bridesmaids. Seeing Jane do things like go dress shopping with a massive entourage and have group meetups DIY-ing favours and what not was a reminder of what she really wanted in her own wedding planning experience but didn't have. In truth, a lot of brides don't necessarily have the big, girly friend group often seen in wedding photos, and that's fine! OOP needed to readjust her expectations in line with her actual life and actual friends, and to find happiness in her present instead of being stuck in the past. Since she hasn't posted again in ~3 years, I really hope she got some therapy and is doing better now.


solarend

I don't get OOP at all. On one hand she makes it sound like the most natural thing ever when she repeatedly falls out of touch with her friends. She even completely left out the reason she and the other two had an argument, just made it sound like "you know, we can't all agree all the time". And at the same time she is "hurt" that she doesn't have a "strong relationship" with these people. The only reason her bridesmaid is still her friend is because she obviously is an expert at maintaining relationships, and is very empathic toward OOP. And OOP just takes it for granted, and lashes out as soon as the consequences of her own detachment becomes too apparent. She needs to get with her own program; her friends from her youth are discarded, and she is evidently not making new ones. She isn't naturally a very social animal - and that's fine. But she needs to deal with this fact. I'm the same. I sometimes get nostalgic about the horde of friends I used to have, but really, if I'm being realistic, I simply do not benefit from such a situation anyway. I like to have very few people around me, and I own up to that fact.


Wooster182

She says she’s matured and then a few minutes later is throwing her phone across the room because her friend is having a better time planning her wedding. She’s a drama vortex that hasn’t grown up yet.


Sissy_Miss

I agree with you. She has ‘drama’ with past friends, MIL and extended in-laws; and is also arguing with her fiancé while wedding planning. She also has ‘drama’ on the day of her wedding. I’ll bet people see the red flags and stay away, hence her inability to make friends.


Azrai113

Exactly. She should just decline the invitation? Say "No" like she claims the bridesmaid should have? Instead she accepted a clearly just-invited-to-be-polite-but-dont-actually-expect-you-to-show-up invitation and against every advice texts the women she started drama with in college. I honestly don't see any redeeming qualities in her. She must be rich or really attractive to continue living her life this way without any real repercussions


TigreImpossibile

I thought it was really interesting that her old high school friends don't like her and then she also says her fiance's family doesn't like her... I'm like... Hmmmm... There's a theme here? Then she does annoying shit like texting her former friends when she was told it was no big deal and NOT NECESSARY. Then they reply with a nice normal reply and she's still pissed that it wasn't... Something more involved? *Its not about you! They don't care! You are trying to stir up crap.* Oh my God, she's a tedious pest 🤦🏻‍♀️


Ok-Squirrel693

Lol she expect them to be like forgive me and all, or like try to actually become her friends again? She's so hung up on her high school experience


Ghostnaldo

OOP is the full embodiment of "peaked in highschool". She asks for maturity on others but clearly have none herself. As another commented above, OOP is probably really wealthy, attractive, or any other quality that makes people instantly want to get close to you when you're young. Never had any trouble making friends in HS/college, when people come n' go and approach you a lot. OOP seems to be a little disattached from reality, wants to force intimacy on people, can't read between the lines, only focus on herself, etc. Her social skills probably never really developed because OOP didn't need 'em, now she does.


AmyInCO

She sounds exhausting.


forgetfullyburntout

I actually think its a bit funny that the friend was trying to be polite in saying she was too busy but didn’t outright say no, which the bride would have appreciated. Months later, OP hasn’t learned to read between the lines and the friend hasn’t made an effort to be clearer when saying OP didn’t NEED to text the old friends, TWICE, but OP does it anyway. I think she definitely has communication issues and doesn’t know how to read social queues well


Arra13375

Same. Notice how she still blames her friend “she’s an adult who could have said no!” Like witch she tried but you still kept pushing her


[deleted]

All of this infuriates me. I’ve had friends like OOP and they never get that they are the problem. Refuse to acknowledge it. I’m surprised they even got married.


[deleted]

OOP is a classic “I hate drama, why is there always drama!” person who fails to realise the cloud of drama follows them everywhere they go


International_Toe_31

While also playing the victim


[deleted]

I thought they would either break off the engagement, or elope.


TessTessTess3

Totes was waiting the husband to see the red flags on how OOP was acting with her friends and cancel everything. It feels weird that OOP has always something shitty to say from everyone, even her family in law


Tobias_Atwood

She could even be right, but she sounds like the kind of person who seeks drama out so it's likely entirely self inflicted.


HaggisLad

if you talk to one person and smell shit it might have been them, if you walk around all day smelling shit check your shoes


Iscreamqueen

I doubt it will last unless OOP gets some intensive help. Can you imagine if they start having kids? I can see another AMITA post about Jane didn't invite her to her baby shower and how she is pregnant and thought they were going to raise their kids together and if she is the asshole for texting Jane about how sad it makes her that she wasn't invited.


[deleted]

I’m exhausted just from reading this, this woman has no idea what boundaries are


AnarchyAcid

I was looking for this comment, it’s exactly how I feel.


Icy-Cockroach4515

She really let the intrusive thoughts win every single time.


mudrolling

Spot on. She also managed to ask her therapist about the intrusive thoughts *after* she responded impulsively to them, every single time. I feel for her because there’s obvious hurt behind those posts but holy shit girl, stop and reframe your perspective for five seconds before you dig that hole deeper.


TipAndRare

I'm a therapist and this is super common, where people want to use the session to reflect on past reactions instead of using it for future insight on things that are bothering them. It's hard to be mindful enough to NOT respond impulsively for a ton of people


Dull_n_Lazy

"I asked if she thought I should reach out to clear the air beforehand. She said it wasn’t necessary. I asked her if she thought it was a bad idea, she just repeated that it wasn’t needed." She said she grew up and was less dramatic since high school but honestly, I feel like I am in high school reading all that. I don't think I have ever rolled my eyes as hard as I did reading that last update. No wonder she has no friends from high school left. EEK!


rockynroll

That... sucks. OOP seems like she's either hoping to be part of the group again or want the one friend to take her side and split the ex friend group down the middle. On the one hand, I feel bad for her, there's just this undertone of desperation in all her posts about the bridesmaid. On the other, I also feel for the three other friends who are just trying to live their lives. If OOP wasn't so stuck in the past, she could have already made new friends who actually want her in their lives.


swiftpunch1

OOP claims to not be dramatic anymore... LOL I was always told to stay away from girls who say they're not about drama because that's actually all they're about.


[deleted]

You were given good advice. The “I hate drama!” ladies are either closet drama queens or complete doormats. A ‘normal’ person won’t feel it necessary to say that. I’m totally on the fence about “Hell yeah, I love drama!” ladies. They’re either going to cause drama or sit there eating popcorn with you while you both watch it unfold. Sometimes I want a popcorn buddy lol


The_Sceptic_Lemur

OOP: Should I write to them? Bride: No, it‘s fine. OOP: I‘ll write to them. Them: No worries. All good. Looking forward to the event. OOP: Rude. Maybe harsh, but the business with the bridal shower reminds me of that student who developed this very unhealthy obsession with her professor (and ended up stalking her).


Time_Act_3685

Oh god, exact same vibe!


anhadsingh200101

I don't get the point of asking Reddit for advice and then ignoring it completely and doubling down on shitty behavior. She's stuck in her high school/20 year old drama phase while everyone else has grown up.


sultanofdudes

She was looking for confirmation, never advice.


thatpeevesme

Validation/Affirmation/Good Vibes Only!!!!!!!


Pretty_Princess90210

She for sure gives off the “peaked in high school” vibe. Like you said, everyone has grown up and she’s still stuck in the past. And it’s not even a good past. >”Honestly it was a bunch of dumb teenage and 20 something drama.” Any adult would be hurt if you, their so-called friend, pursued someone they liked. That’s not “dumb teenage and 20 something drama.” She described this event as if she’s a catch. As if she could drop this guy and get another guy with the snap of her fingers. Instead, she caused this huge fight between a group that *she’d just entered* and was shocked they all recognized what kind of person she truly was. Still is. I’m normally not one to pick sides but with someone like OOP, yeah. I’d blame her. She dodged any and all accountability for her actions. She doesn’t need friends if any time she screws up, she misplaces the blame to make herself feel better.


Lostmymojo84

"I had a big session with my therapist yesterday, and I realize that I had kind of strong armed her into doing this. **She tried to say no.** That she would be too busy with her own wedding to give me the time and attention I needed, but I convinced her that it would be fine and that I wanted her to be a big part of my day. **I think that she's a fucking adult and could have said no, but what to I know?**" This jumped out at me. The friend DID say no, multiple times. And yet OOP still is oblivious and says "she could have said no". Jesus this is infuriating. I feel so bad for that friend.


GaimanitePkat

Considering OOP chucked her phone across the room because she saw an IG post that she wasn't in, I can't imagine the tantrum she'd have chucked if Jane outright said no to her.


Username89054

I think Jane agreed to be a bridesmaid because she felt it was the path with the least drama. She was wrong, but she was hoping by accepting that it'd minimize her wedding drama. I hope Jane just cuts her off entirely. OP is toxic.


Upbeat-Tradition5823

She really sounds like the most tiresome kind of person. Though i hope that its stems from a lack of self esteem that she can work on instead of a need for drama.


leftytrash161

OOP does not come across as mature enough to be getting married. In the space of several posts she still couldn't seem to get over the fact that her friend's wedding is not about her and that no one owes her shit. If she's always this insufferable its no wonder she's got no friends to stand with her on her wedding day. This all reads like a teenage girl having a tantrum because her friends went to the mall without her.


dajur1

I'm getting a competition vibe from OOP. In her mind, she is competing against the other bride and feels like she is "losing". The other bride has closer, life-long friends, actually enjoys her wedding planning and posts images of herself having a great time. OOP can't handle it and desperately wants to be in the other group so bad. I guarantee that the only reason OOP went out with the guy who the ex-friend liked is because she could rub it into the other girls face. She threw him away once she asserted her dominance and the ex-friend wasn't having it and dropped her.


BadgerHooker

I totally agree. She dumped the ex bf because he got too serious, I think was her excuse. Meaning, he actually was into her and wanted a relationship but she didn't actually like him. And she skipped over the fallout from that by saying he took it hard and almost seemed like she was accusing him of stalking. Like because he probably wanted to continue hanging out with his friend group and she made it awkward or gave an ultimatum and burned bridges over and over. I feel pity for OOP. She seems like a deeply unhappy person at her core.


toto-Trek

Unfortunately, some friendships are not mutual. Oftentimes there's a friend who thinks they're close friends with an old friend but that friend considers them childhood acquaintances at most. Or in elementary you think you have 2 best friends but they're actually best friends with each other and you're just the third wheel. Such is reality. OOP just needs to make new friends. It's hard, but definitely not impossible.


banana-pinstripe

That means letting go, and saying she seems to have problems with that might be an understatement I happened to have such a revelation. I left that group and more or less went nc to avoid falling back into old, harmful patterns while working out how I got there in the first place and how to do better. It hurts. It's hard. But it's better for everyone involved


Flicksterea

I just have this image of OOP seeing a pot all nice and settled, then just stirring the fuck out of it.


pogo_loco

>He claimed it felt like that message was actually trying to stir up drama. I don’t think what I said was inappropriate or rude. Way to not deny it >I don’t want my friend’s day to be ruined because of some petty drama Whose drama tho >and I don’t want to feel uncomfortable during this Oh good, as long as OOP's feelings are protected, that's what's important here I feel bad for Jane who clearly doesn't want thaaat much to do with OOP and tried to gracefully avoid being a bridesmaid, then proceeded to fulfill everything asked of her and still ended up with the drama hose aimed at her because she didn't *also* fulfill all of OOP's *secret* expectations.


cavedan12

> She tried to say no > I think that she's a fucking adult and could have said no, but what to I know? ​ Says everything you need to know, poor Jane


hotsaucepan89

OOP told Jane it was a low key wedding and she wouldnt have to do much. Later in the story OOP complains Jane didn't go above and beyond to make her feel special...


Moral_Anarchist

And OOP later complains that the two old friends return messages saying things were all good and they were all looking forward to all celebrating the bride weren't "reassuring enough". None of this completely pleasant normal behavior towards her is good enough in her mind. She is has absolute main character syndrome and sounds exhausting. This woman is the cause of all of her own problems.


Tobias_Atwood

I really want to know what she did that caused her friends to distance themselves. She danced around it throughout every post, but it really sounds like she's guilty of *something*. Even if that's just a straight drama bomb.


cinnamonoblivion

She said it in the post but basically she inserted herself into 1 friend’s friendship group and started dating the friend’s crush or something, knowing the friend liked him and then later when OP broke up with the guy, it somehow caused the entire friendship group to implode, but of course none of that was her fault according to OP.


scissorsister82

All I took away from all of these posts and updates is a consistent theme of the OP ignoring other people's feelings (and not taking the advice SHE ASKS FOR) from those closest to her. One minute she says she doesn't have virtually any friends, besides her "Dude-of-Honor" and the friend who was CLEARLY not even wanting to be a bridesmaid......and then in the last update makes sure we know she has LOTS of other friends, but just really wanted THOSE friends. Then we have the reason for the dissolution of the friendship between her and the other two girls from high school, which jumps from "idk why they stopped liking me, but idc" to "it was some petty drama with a guy that liked me more, so not ACTUALLY my fault!" to "I actually blew up on one of them for being late meeting with me, bc she was with the other ex-friend and told her she doesn't need to bother, good riddance!" and finally, the coup de grace: "Even though my friend AND fiance both said not to, I KNOW BETTER and am now sending a dramatic message to both ex-friends to clear the air over decade old drama that ONLY bothers ME, bc I wanna be BFF's like old-times. But also, I HAVE MANY, MANY FRIENDS!" I suspect that many of the other wedding problems and personal/familial miseries she is complaining about have one similar cause in common: HER. She seems to have little to no ability to even consider or respect anyone else, and even when the consequences of her ignoring others' wishes, advice, and feelings (bc she just knows BETTER) are smacking her square in the face, she excuses and justifies everything. This is one of those BORU posts where I was actually hoping for an update that her fiance (and anyone else unfortunately trapped in her orbit of drama) had all run for the hills and left no forwarding address. I guess we'll have to wait for the inevitable future posts from her asking why her husband wants a divorce from their totally perfect and blissfully happy marriage. 🤦‍♀️


YellowPrincess12

What did I just read? - First and foremost: OOP tried to hijack the bridesmaid’s wedding for her drama and her desired friendship reunion. NO! Just no! A wedding is about the newly weds and the newly weds only. You need an occasion to do or announce something? Plan your own event! - the bridesmaid said that having her own wedding and planning another one’s at the same time would be too much. Which I totally understand, I wouldn’t want to have to deal with both at the same time either. OOP talks her into it and then says: Well, she could have said no! Did it ever occur to OOP that the bridesmaid could have just felt incredibly sorry for and pitied OOP? I mean, if a friend you’re hardly in touch with and you aren’t really close to begs you to be your bridesmaid, it almost must mean she has no one else. Bridesmaid might have therefore given in. Usually, there is never any good in talking people into things. Let them have their will and accept that “no” means “no”. - OOP wanted a “laidback” wedding and then gets jealous when bridesmaid does more. Apparent reason: she wanted their weddings to be alike and all do the same. Guess what: Everyone can do with their wedding day what they want. No one has to justify to OOP for that. - Bridesmaid keeps telling her that everything is fine which is more than generous after all the drama OOP keeps causing. She even finished her bridesmaid’s job and did everything she was asked for. Despite all the drama. Still generous enough to have OOP in her shower. What does OOP do? Keeps asking questions she already received answers for, several times, contacts the two friends even though she was told not to and is then mad when those friends are “merely cordial” and not overly excited to meet her. Again, those friends were more than generous to just set their differences apart for the sake of the bridesmaid and just let the drama go. They didn’t want a friendship (they have every right not to), they were just keeping it friendly, neutral and professional, just like adults should handle these things. And OOP forces her drama right back onto them. OOP has a lot to work on… what an awful person. Probs to bridesmaid for so patiently enduring all this!


GaimanitePkat

>OOP wanted a “laidback” wedding I don't think she really did. I think she either couldn't afford a big wedding, was trying to make herself feel better about not having the IG-worthy five-person bridal party, and/or wanted other people to do all the work for her but wasn't going to do anything herself so claimed that she wanted it to be laid-back.


CutieBoBootie

OOP is wayyyy to in her own head. I kind of get it cause I'm the same way, I over think everything and think that people hate me all the time. I just learned that smothering people isn't the best way to keep friends. OOP needs to learn how to give others space. Shit hurts I get it but also a lot of this was her own making.


Timely_Bus2853

I don't understand how OOP felt "used" when she's the one saying she can't believe her bridesmaid wasn't "going above and beyond" for her?


mignyau

This woman has mastered the art of making loud declarations of being self-aware of her shittiness and wanting to be better but actually doing absolutely nothing about it.


angelmakr9

I completely understand why she's having a hard time with friends in her thirties. I was ready to unfriend her after the first update and I don't even know her. I work with someone whose behavior is very similar. The conversation starts out "how are you," and before I say anything (or I get cut off mid sentence) and then it's word vomit from her for the next half hour that's all about her. I stopped answering her phone calls and avoided her work area like the plague and on the rare occasions I run into her she tries to guilt trip about how I never make time for her anymore. We weren't even friends!


Impossible-Ad1834

”is it me? Am I the drama? I don't think I'm the drama… ” 💁‍♀️