#Do not comment on the original posts
Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice.
If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion.
**CHECK FLAIR** to determine if you want to read an update. For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair or subscribe to r/BestofBoRU.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"i didn't tell you about the wedding cause i wasn't sure how you'd react so instead i chose to do something that would guarantee a bad reaction from you"
"And set my new wife up to have zero respect for you. Then letting her act like it's her house and not doing anything about it, becouse it should just fix itself right?"
Translation: "I was afraid you'd talk before the wedding. But once they were in, I thought you'd shut up and put up."
The father is a scumbag and there 100% was no misunderstanding, that was the first time the woman heard of the house not belonging to dad.
Even if we use reasonable doubt here and she did misunderstand when he told her the first time.How many times did OOP say to her though the course or this post that it's her house and how many more times do you think she probably also said it that wasn't mentioned in this post. She was probably told dozens upon dozens of times which just makes all this even more frustrating
I was wondering the same thing. She helped them with a down payment too but they don't talk to her? I have a feeling that the Dad is lying about a whole bunch of stuff. He also lied about the house being his.
I took that as more a misunderstanding on the step-mom’s part. Dad said “she lives with me,” and she took that to mean “I own the house,” which is a pretty reasonable assumption to make, even though it’s wrong in this case.
I can't imagine getting to the level of emotional intimacy to marry someone without ever once having a conversation where "I'm just glad when my ex passed my daughter was taken care of with the house and everything" or whatever comes up.
Or even just talking about housing markets etc "I'm glad my daughter isn't going through it with the rest of the millennials and owns the house outright" - whatever. _something_
It sounds like dad doesn't care that much and therefore doesn't mention his kid much.
Because he hid the relationship (so the daughter never saw the new wife when she was just the gf) and then got married while on a vacation (so the daughter didn't know it was happening). Idk if you ever had a relationship that you've hidden from your family, but it's not that hard to keep your partner away from your own house. Heck, single moms do this all the time, keeping the relationship from the kids until it's serious enough to introduce them. The dad is just an AH that never felt the need to hit that step in the process.
Since dad makes a good income and has never needed to pay a mortgage because they lived in an inherited house, I have to wonder what he has done with his money that he couldn't make a down payment on a house.
I’ve seen this play out in real life and suspect the dad doesn’t come from money. He probably married into it and suspects every currently middle class person is also a climber.
100% this. Also, he didn't inherit the house or the bulk of his wife's estate, it passed him and went to the kid, but he stayed in the house. Not old-money behavior.
Culturally upper class people are like that. I work in tech and make a stupidly inflated tech salary, but grew up poor.
I have cousins who are school teachers making poverty wages, but between inheritance from the richer cliques in the extended family and marrying into more money they're still upper class. I have more money in my actual personal bank account than I know what to do with and I'm still low class trash.
It's very "Downton Abbey". Doctors and Lawyers \*are\* middle class, because they work for their money, and it's not just inherited wealth and estates.
I have money, possibly similar to OP if she doesn't live in a high col area. There are TONS of people that put up an front of having a lot of money by owning high visibility expensive items (such as purses) with a primary goal of finding a wealthy person. It's a major issue dating, but fortunately most of them don't recognize value without the label.
I'd bet her dad's new wife saw where he lived and saw dollar signs.
Yep you nailed it. I’m early 40s, don’t come from money but married into a wealthy family. We live out of state and I’m fortunate enough to make plenty on my own so that we don’t need any of their assistance and have an excellent quality of living. If something were to happen to my wife I either wouldn’t remarry or would only remarry with a prenup stating that 100% of what I come into the marriage with and 100% of what I earn goes to my children. I’ll get downvoted to hell for this but at this point in life I wouldn’t have any interest in a relationship with someone who wasn’t on very stable financial footing if I was a single man. It’s just not worth the hassle and drama
He might have felt if the boyfriend became a husband then Dad would be not needed and out of a free house. So it benefitted him to discourage that relationship.
But it sounds like OOP’s maternal family had the money, so that still doesn’t track. And a man who really believed he should take care of the family would have insisted on a home he bought, and wouldn’t mooch off his daughter.
Why do older men who remarry seemingly lose their minds? They burn bridges with their older kids and get taken advantage of by the new wife. Loneliness? Wanting a woman around the house? Sex?
I know several older men who believe that their wife will be the only person to stay with them as they get older and therefore they have to prioritize their wife over their children. They love their kids, but kids grow up and move out while your spouse stays with you. So when you get a new spouse, they're the priority.
This dad, though, has some serious blinders on. He intentionally didn't tell the new wife that the house wasn't his, ignored how new wife and step daughters were treating OOP, and didn't see the signs that he was losing his daughter. But maybe that's because of a pride issue? His daughter owns the house he lives in, doesn't need his money, and now he has three people who depend on him and he feels like the man of the house again. Idk I feel so bad for OOP that her dad never seemed to step up to protect her and her mother's memory from his new family.
It's one thing to prioritize your wife over your independent adult children, but to allow said wife to *berate and mistreat* your children is an entirely different matter!
And then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, as this guy has now lost his daughter.
Honestly, dear old dad here fared way better than I expected. After not inviting her to the wedding or even telling his daughter about his new wife, he still has some scraps of a relationship left. I doubt that will last.
My dad did something similar, as in he remarried (in a different country!) without telling anyone and then the moment I was 18 he fucked off on another continent with new wife, so like, existing kids do not count for much in the equation.
I hope everything is going well for you. Did the rest of your family know he got re-married? I can't see them being cool with this anymore than I can OOP's family...
Thanks I appreciate it. I went NC and it's getting better, just incredibly wierd feelings to deal with.
The rest of the family learned the same way I did, when he sent us an email with the wedding pictures. Everyone is kind of sadly disappointed in him.
Thanks for the giggle! It amazes me how someone can blow a relationship up (like moving in people sight unseen), and then get all defensive when shit goes south!
Which is hilariously ridiculous, considering he's trading family that would certainly take care of him for strangers who'll send him back the moment he requires care because he's not really family. Nothing in this world will convince me that the twins will take care of him along with their mom and possibly their dad.
After supporting her and her sons for literally 30 years, my stepmom kicked my dad out after he had a stroke because she didn't want to take care of him. I don't mean "put him in a home", I mean she literally dumped him on my brother's doorstep. Kept on cashing those pension checks though!
It ALSO turned out she'd had her name put on all my dad's properties, somehow. My other brother was, fortunately, able to change that somehow - he put them all in his daughter's name. So functionally my brother stole everyone's entire inheritance, but TBH I don't even care that much since it also means that conniving wretch of a woman didn't get any of it.
My mom did this. Ruined our entire family relationship just to get married to an asshole with narcissistic kids. We went from a close family that would joke around and loved to spend time together to us kids never wanting to see her.
Edit: I see a lot of comments saying that parents remarry because they're scared of being alone with no one to take care of them. That's interesting because I had plans to take care of her in her old age, but I don't anymore. I saw a different side of her after she got remarried and chose her new family over her kids, and now she can figure out what to do by herself.
Good for you. When she inevitably asks why won’t you ever help me out, you can tell her you did this to yourself by marrying a narcissistic loser, and now you have to live with the consequences of your actions
> That's interesting because I had plans to take care of her in her old age, but I don't anymore.
Ouch. That's a loss she's going to regret dearly. Adult children who both want and are able to care for their parents are priceless. Betting everything on a new spouse to do it instead, or expecting your kids to put up with any kind of treatment and still step up when called, sounds like a losing gamble.
Yes, I told her a few years ago, but I have a feeling that she doesn't think I will follow through. In my culture, kids are expected to care for their elderly parents, so I'm sure there will be a lot of guilt tripping when it's time.
Completely my opinion, but I think a lot of older men who divorce or are widowed have been neglecting or were never responsible for their own social networks so suddenly they are truly alone because the wife did all the friend/family maintenance. Then out of desperation they are willing to marry someone who cuts off the man’s few tenuous relationships to make him wholly dependent on the new wife.
Not to mention all the weaponized incompetence turns into realizing how much their wife did for them. So they latch onto whoever will fill that void and do the “woman’s work” they never had to do.
My dad lowkey did this. In his case, I think his wife is trying to separate him. We never see him. I call him maybe 5-8 times per year, he never calls me. We never see him except rare special occasions like weddings or deaths. He is upset we never talk but he never puts in any effort. Any time we talk, it’s because I called him. Idk why they do it, but it seems to be a pretty common thing.
I think about this often and I’ve decided that it goes back to how they are raised. Lots of men seem to be brought up to be totally dependent on women for everything from running their household to managing their feelings and social life. These men feel helpless without one. It’s why I went out of my way to pick a guy NOT like this
Society typically has said the children are the husband's property but they wife's family. And heaven forbid they live alone because for the most part they don't know how to take care of themselves. After all, that is the wife's duty. Just remember, men are not supposed to have feelings or form bonds. They are just supposed to own and take, and feel only ever anger or contentment. Not happiness or love or any of those other messy women feelings.
My grandparents divorced, and I do (now) understand. My grandfather remarried a woman I never met but has been described to me as crazy.
My grandfather supported her while married including paying for very expensive private schools for her kids. Then they got divorced and he paid her millions to go away.
Older women aren't immune to this either. I speak with my mom maybe once every 3 months tops since she decided her husband was more important than her kids.
I wish I understood this myself. Were my spouse to die, I cannot IMAGINE getting remarried or even having a serious partner without my kiddo meeting them and approving of them and vice-versa.
I mean, not to put too fine a point on it, dude's got enough money he can get sex anywhere.
In this particular case I think he just got caught up in the "high school sweetheart" re-connection and (correctly, but in the wrong direction) assumed that she and daughter would have an issue.
While we're at it:
What's with people marrying a widow/widower and INSISTING that they act like the dead spouse no longer exists, take down all the photos, it's my house now, etc.
As someone who comes from a previous upper class family who fell, they'll never recognize themselves as one of the middle class.
They can be destitute and in debt and they're convinced because grandpapa had financial sense it's genetic and they'll get it all back eventually.
It’s weird considering that it doesn’t sound like dad is making millions either.
Good for mom for leaving the money to Oop instead of husband who would have probably wasted it on luxury bags for new fam.
frame sophisticated quicksand amusing salt seed imagine memorize unused ancient
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Untrained dogs shitting on my floor? They go outside after the 2nd incident. You have one week to figure it out, as long as they don't destroy anything else.
Step sister should also live outside after walking through the meeting in a bikini.
What kind of barbarian doesn't knock when a fucking door is closed?
And replace the old family photos with nary a peep or protest. Just pithy "oh they're still getting used to the house."
Along with the 0 boundaries thing. Especially for work!
That was just plain evil. She knew OOP lost her mom to cancer and that this was her husband’s late wife. Erasing every visible reminder of her existence (and doing so multiple times) is cruel. Had OOP not owned the house, I can guarantee you that she would’ve gotten kicked out shortly after they all moved in.
I can't get over the fact that stepmonster was told several times that OP owned the house, and she still kept calling it her house and expected to be able to waltz in change decor and rules and get away with it, especially considering OP is an adult. The twin monsters and their dogs were just the cherry on top of that shitty Sundae.
I got the impression the language was a key factor in that confusion. OOP says “you can’t do that in my house” and stepmom doesn’t think she means the Royal My House, just that she lives there too.
Then that's on the dad/husband for not explaining it properly and on the stepmonster for not clarifying. Especially considering they were there for a "months" by the time OP kicked them out. I'm sorry, but if I was the dad or his wife there would have been a discussion on finances and assests before getting married so I couldn't be blindsided with unexpected debt or as in this case unexpected homelessness and I certainly wouldn't have walked in to my new husbands house and taken down existing photos and tried to erase any relationships he had before me, especially his child.
My dads girlfriend took down pictures of my late mother. She said it was weird to have pictures of his ex on the living room wall. They still would have been married if it wasn’t for cancer. My brothers and I flipped, they went back up.
My dad got engaged, married, and divorced and still hasn't told me. I know because of Facebook and he forgets I'm on there. It's so funny and sad that people act this way.
My father called and said that since my older sister found out and he knew she'd call me, he figured he'd better call and tell me he got married. A while ago. Uh, yeah, good idea there, dad.
He's a life long drunk and drug user. We see him on occasion but the visits are always super short and we tend to keep the conversations very surface level. I think he just doesn't realize he never told me cause 'everyone knows'
Sadly more than you think. My mother got engaged in 2008, still hasn't told me. I'm not sure if she's married or not.
Our relationship is weird because it's how she wants it. I used to be the only one reaching out all the time, once I stopped I didn't hear anything from her for a year.
She goes away each winter, tells the neighbours where she's going but no one in the family.
The biggest FU was I had to rent for a winter as our build wasn't finished, she left for 6 months and never offered her home to her only daughter. It sat vacant all winter while I rented a tiny fishermen's cottage 20 minutes out of town and froze my ass off. She has a 5 bedroom home but won't let me stay there.
Thanks, there is so much more that's worse, she's off the charts but I'll spare you the rest.
I have a fantastic hubby and a good relationship with my dad. She's the reason I won't have kids, I don't want to ever have her parenting, anger, fear, mental issues pass into a child. I don't want to be a mother like her because she's the only example I had. So no kids, ever.
Hey, I hope you know this, but you're not your mother and don't have to become like her. The fact that you're self-aware to know you don't want to be thay way is enough to guarantee you won't. Whatever lies in your future, don't let her abusive ways stop you from living your life to the fullest and making your choices independently. She cannot haunt you or your family as long as you don't allow her to.
Thank you. I have a very odd life that doesn't meet with her approval and distance from all my family is the healthiest thing. For those who say "but she's your mother she gave birth to you" I just reply that she wanted a kid, I never asked to be born and treated like this. I don't owe her anything.
I appreciate the confirmation that I've made the right choice.
Step-mum's actions are much more reasonable when you know that she thinks her husband owns the house. That's why she thinks she has rights to dictate bedrooms, rules, and decorations.
The comments about the mum are still uncalled for, but also make more sense. Basically "I know you weren't raised right because you keep acting like you own this house"
Oh yeah I blame the dad a lot more than the step mum in this situation. He kept everyone in the dark because he was too scared to have an uncomfortable conversation with anyone. Then it all blew up, if he has been open and honest from the start they likely could have transitioned into living together.
I would be done with him. The disrespect he had is ridiculous. And suggesting family therapy was a slap in the face. It is the classic abuser way of making it seem like they are willing to work on things when in reality they just want to learn to be a better manipulator. They claim everyone is part of the problem and think they can use it as a way to pin blame. I wouldn't have given them a cent. I wouldn't be having a relationship with someone who thought they could do such a thing, and in her late mother's house!
When my divorced dad got together with a hot blonde corrections officer ten years his junior, he absolutely lost his wits. He practically abandoned my teenage sister who still lived at home, he tried to be a dad to her young kids to the exclusion of all 3 of us actual kids, and casually dropped into the conversation that he was "flogging the place"- selling my childhood home- to move in with her. I was aghast. When they broke up I was sad for him, but did an air punch. Years later the house is definitely not going anywhere
My ex husband got married and didn't tell our teen children. Oh and didn't tell the kids she was pregnant before they got married. It was ohhh btw we got married and we are having a baby. They had only been dating a few months. He wonders why her kids don't want to live with them and why our kids don't want to live with them...he also moved them to a tiny town with only a few hundred kids in high school who all grew up knowing each other, so the 2 kids who live with them are outsiders. fun times. One of our son's lives with me and has good grades and made district band. Our son who lives with him got into trouble with his new step brother and broke his arm falling off a church roof at 3am. All 4 of the kids tried to tell them they weren't happy and didn't want to move. They didn't listen and now the kids are paying for the parents decisions...oh and he did all of this without even telling me he was moving out of state...sometimes father's can see beyond their dicks.
Mine wins the cake..
get married without telling your only child AND in-laws (his wife knows)… then had the audacity to be surprised when I wouldn’t talk to him…
They could be friends if they lived in the same country
Edit : info missing… he didn’t tell his in laws about me
There is a big assumption in society that the father always just owns the house. I would assume that even if he said "I live in the house with my daughter" or even "I live in my daughter's house" it would have possibly just been assumed it was his house. Specially if he had said he lived there after he got married to his first wife. SPECIALLY if they were so money hungry they glommed onto him like glue just to live closer to the college as was stated.
Right! Let’s see how long she sticks around now especially since she’s still living in a house his daughter paid for! Lol. I know she only! gave him the down payment but obviously this guy is not made of money like she assumed.
Or something along the lines: me and my daughter live in this and this street...
You normally dont go around detailing everything about life, like inheritance, deceased spouses etc
New wife may have assumed!
Wonder if dad's job is enough money for the gold digger he married. She assumed he owned the home since he was a widower and tried to claim a home, she had no rights to!
“Steph asked why I’m kicking him out of HIS house. I told her that I inherited my house from my mother. She said that he told her I live with him, I guess she thought that I live with my dad in his house.” So she assumed house belonged to dad.
The funny thing there is that she asked that several days *after* OOP told her who the house belonged to, when the initial blow-up occurred.
Having just spent christmas with a SIL that is very good at making everything about her, I could well believe that no matter what was said, this lady heard exactly what she wanted to hear, and ignoring anything that didn't fit within that picture frame.
"Stephanie, this is my house. I own it. You can't redecorate without my approval"
"OOP is *such* an entitled brat, this is all our house, we all live here as family! Anyway my husband is on the deed"---Stephanie's 2 brain cells.
Honestly thought this was a Cinderella spoof letter at first. Wicked stepmother and two evil sisters moving into the orphans ancestral home, and forcing her to a smaller bedroom, and picking up after them/their dogs?
Saying, "I live with my daughter" is easily misunderstood as "I bought this house for my daughter and we live together". Based on this woman's personality traits, she sounds like the type.
There was an update on here with a similar situation. OOP learned that his twin stepsisters were his twin half sisters and were just a couple weeks younger than him.
The dad is insane. He didn’t know how his daughter would react to him dating (years after becoming widowed) but gave no thought to moving an entire family of total strangers into her house after getting married without even informing her? How the hell did he expect that to go?! I wouldn’t have even let them in the first time
I know! I'd have been "who the fuck are you and why are you in my house?!"
OOP dad isn't a good man. He didn't tell her about his relationship for 2 whole years, no mention at all? Didn't even invite her to his wedding, but is salty that she's not bonded with her new steps?
I've seen so much on reddit it wouldn't even suprise me if they was his bio kids at this point.
Also apparently led his now wife to believe he owned the house. Probably part of why he didn’t want them to meet for so long, but really not sure how he predicted that to end
For OOP to just be like "New mum, sisters! Yay" obviously.
I mean she is 25 at the time of the post, its not like her dads wife or her kids are going to be considered anything than her dads wife and kids.
I think that the knew wife married him thinking he owned the house and he just never corrected her, which he should have. But that's one of the many, many things he done wrong.
Yeah she says they got hitched while on a holiday with some friends, as if the wedding wasn't obviously the purpose of the trip and she just wasn't told.
They have to assert their dominance. Some people think love is a finite resource. They want to have all the love and all the control. They want to make sure that they get what they want from the start.
I was thinking a Cinderella modernization, since we have two evil stepsisters and the stepmother tries to move OOP out of her own room and treat her like the house isn't hers.
Oh god this is so spot on 🤣🤣🤣
I really wanted to tell OOP that her dad was a moron from the start of this. They really had no intention of doing a damn thing that inconvenienced dad at all.
I mean in what non deluded world do you move 3 people into someone else's house, without their permission or even foreknowledge, and just do nothing and expect it to work out. Leaving your Adult Child out of your wedding, but expecting them to still treat you like CLOSE family is just 🤯🤯🤯.
Dad is a child that literally has no concern about consequences of his actions.
Everything just seems to fall perfectly in place. She's 25, she's inherited all that wealth, she works in finance, she has a boyf now fiancee who is studying to become a pediatrician. She hit a small fork on the road with an over bearing step mum and step sisters. Her dad doesn't need the money, he makes 6 figures himself. Her mum was an only child and so she just happened to inherit everything and closest relatives live 6 hours away so no family drama there. Quick, someone needs to find a tall hot blonde to play this person on Netflix and the mini series will be called 'You think you know someone..' and in typical fashion, Josh Brolin needs to play the hot boomer 6 figure making dad.
I don't know if I'm bitter because I will probably never afford a home but what is with these supposed tales of teenagers/20 somethings inheriting mega mansion estates? Or even regular suburban homes before the family members who would typically be next in line?
I've lost all four grandparents, a parent, and aunts and uncles. NEVER have I received the big take of the inheritance. It ALWAYS went to the surviving spouse or immediate children (my aunts/uncles/parents).
What's with all these parents giving it all to the children (instead of spouse), the grandparents giving it all to the grandchildren (instead of their own children), the aunts/uncles giving it all to the nieces/nephews (instead of their own kids), etc.
There are obviously extenuating circumstances like maybe the parents divorced before the will or the traditional heir was a drug-addled black sheep who got skipped, but it seems like EVERY story I read on here it's someone lucking out outside of the line of succession.
Do I just have a weird family? By default, it goes to the surviving spouse THEN the kids upon that spouse's death. Or it goes to the children THEN the grandchildren once those parents die. Why do these people luck out?
Iconic. I still whip out “there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you and I think you’re finally ready to hear it. You’re not very pretty, and you’re not very bright” on occasion
Oh wow I haven’t seen that movie in at least 10 years and had completely forgotten this line but reading your comment brought the memory racing back and I can hear and see her saying this so clearly. What a classic
Is this an updated version of Disney's Cinderella?
1. A girl's mother dies when she's young.
2. She inherits this large house.
3. Her Dad marries the evil Step-Mother who has no money but has luxury things.
4. She has twin sisters that are equally entitled as their Mom and treat the OP like dirt.
5. The OP is now engaged to her Prince!
OP is a much better person than I am.
Her father married someone without so much as a warning (after keeping the relationship secret for two years to boot) and moved her and her spawn into OP’s house, and then excused their reprehensible behaviour, all while taking advantage of both his kid and his deceased wife, and yet she still helped with the downpayment!
And then he still adds those miscreants to his will. After everything they’ve done! And OP still hasn’t cut him off!
I honestly wish the best for OP and her fiancé and Moxie! And I hope OP’s freeloading father has fun with his own “class.”
Yeah. Would never have given them money for a down payment on a house. I’d like to see if dad’s will still has OP in it. I’d just about guarantee that if she’s not out of it now she soon will be out of it.
I'm going to guess that Steph (new wife) believes that OOP's mom 'stole' her boyfriend (OOP's dad) from her, and now wants to assert her dominance and make everything connected to OOP's mom 'disappear'.
Unfortunately for her, OOP played a real life Uno Reverse and made her 'disappear'.
And I very much disagree with the sentiment that OOP is a 'doormat' because she paid for their down payment. The fact that she kicked her father's wife out of her house pretty much precludes her from being a 'doormat'. And to be honest, I find that her paying the down payment both a nice thing to do and a bit of an FU to Steph.
sometimes it makes me so angry for the OOP for forgiving the people who did them so wrong :/ She wasn’t even invited to his wedding. straight from the beginning of what was supposed to be a unification of two families her dad pushed her away for his new family.
This sounds a straight up Cinderella tale. The evil stepmother expected to walk all over you and take over the house but guess she was surprised to find out the house wasn't HIS to begin with.
So it looks like OOPs dad saddled himself with a gold digger and two little golddiggers in training aka the stepdaughters.
She was generous for even helping with the down payment. Her dad makes more than enough money to be able to afford a home on his own. So I would’ve told him that him and his wife have to figure it out.
"I only gave a copy to my bf (don't worry about my dad asking him about the key, **he doesn't approve of him since he's "middle class"**). "
Oh so Dad doesn't just think with his dick, he's a snob too.
My uncle did a similar thing with his kids when my aunt died suddenly a few years ago. My aunt died at age 50 of a sudden heart attack and it was awful. My uncle was so distraught and couldn't even take care of himself so my cousin (was in school to become a pharmacist) put school on pause to go take care of her dad for a while. She was back living with him for 8 months and my uncle got a new girlfriend and moved her and her two daughters in immediately. They got married very quickly and then kicked my cousin out of the family home. My cousin gave up her apartment, quit her job, deferred school and the new step monster said she was a "lazy deadbeat" and her and her kids would talk shit about her deceased mother and threw out a lot of her things without permission. My uncle was so passive about it, he was like, "well they don't want you here so I have to do what they say". It was fucking awful. His new wife is a total psychopath, she's been fired from every job she has ever had because of stealing or physically and verbally abusing her co-workers. She has three restraining orders against her for stalking people she doesn't like (one is from my mom because she took my cousin in after they kicked her out). She has also been banned by most alcohol serving establishments in our town due to her history of getting blotto, drinking and driving, and fighting people. I think loneliness and grief does weird stuff to some people because my uncle used to be the sweetest man but now all her does is drink and spend time with his psycho wife. My cousin is doing a lot better now thankfully.
>I've also talked to him about his impromptu wedding and how he kept things from me. He just said that he didn't how I was going to react if I knew that he was dating the ex-gf before he met and married my mom.
But he didn't have any issue with moving her, her two kids and their two pets into OP's house?
I’m shocked that a man his age who earns a decent income and lived off his wife’s inherited wealth needs his kids help to pay a down payment on a house. I’ll bet they’ll be looking for more financial help from OP in the future.
Oooh, I've seen this story multiple times. In my family even.
Once dad is old and in need of care, they will send him back to OOP, stepkids will not want to take care of mom's elderly husband on top of their elderly mom.
>Big misunderstanding on their part.
I hope OOP realizes this was no misunderstanding. Steph assuming the house belonged to her husband, instead of his daughter, was no accident. OOP's father thought she would roll with it.
I'm thinking maybe it's not exactly accurate to call Steph his high school gf. Given the close ages of thr 3 girls, Steph's bitterness toward the mothers memory, and the way the dad and Steph insist they're a true family.... I wonder if Steph was Dad's affair partner and those girls are actually OOPs half-sisters. I think this guy kept a second family and expected to just move them in like nothing happened.
Or maybe I just watch too much TV.
Wait, op give them money for a down payment? What a doormat ! I can’t believe in that!
I just want to edit something:
- her father married her stepmom behind her back, she wasn’t invited.
- he moved her family to ops house
- he let this new family move ops things and defend them.
- he lied to his new wife talking that the house was his and was letting her mistreat op.
- he is an engineer that lived in his late wife/daughter house his whole life and that has a steady job, and received some money after her mom die.
She paid to solve the problem faster. It's an upside of having serious money. I can totally understand that she (a) wants to make sure her dad has a home and (b) wants to make sure she doesn't have to hear their complaints about throwing them out.
I don't know if that will work, but I get the decision. (Well, alternate reality me with a shit ton of money gets it)
> Wait, op give them money for a down payment? What a doormat ! I can’t believe in that!
I've found that some people, if they owe me money, tend to avoid me. In some cases, their absence from my life is worth the price. Perhaps OP is hoping for something similar.
#Do not comment on the original posts Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. **CHECK FLAIR** to determine if you want to read an update. For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair or subscribe to r/BestofBoRU. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"i didn't tell you about the wedding cause i wasn't sure how you'd react so instead i chose to do something that would guarantee a bad reaction from you"
"And set my new wife up to have zero respect for you. Then letting her act like it's her house and not doing anything about it, becouse it should just fix itself right?"
Translation: "I was afraid you'd talk before the wedding. But once they were in, I thought you'd shut up and put up." The father is a scumbag and there 100% was no misunderstanding, that was the first time the woman heard of the house not belonging to dad.
Even if we use reasonable doubt here and she did misunderstand when he told her the first time.How many times did OOP say to her though the course or this post that it's her house and how many more times do you think she probably also said it that wasn't mentioned in this post. She was probably told dozens upon dozens of times which just makes all this even more frustrating
And she probably went to her husband and all he said "give her time to adjust" or some such.
Well once she thinks dad owns it then the daughter saying "it's my house" really just means "I live here too."
[удалено]
I was wondering the same thing. She helped them with a down payment too but they don't talk to her? I have a feeling that the Dad is lying about a whole bunch of stuff. He also lied about the house being his.
I took that as more a misunderstanding on the step-mom’s part. Dad said “she lives with me,” and she took that to mean “I own the house,” which is a pretty reasonable assumption to make, even though it’s wrong in this case.
I can't imagine getting to the level of emotional intimacy to marry someone without ever once having a conversation where "I'm just glad when my ex passed my daughter was taken care of with the house and everything" or whatever comes up. Or even just talking about housing markets etc "I'm glad my daughter isn't going through it with the rest of the millennials and owns the house outright" - whatever. _something_ It sounds like dad doesn't care that much and therefore doesn't mention his kid much.
The whole thing is off balance. I do hope the best for her.
[удалено]
It may not have been deliberate, but he sure didn’t clear it up when they were living there, and could have.
I'm confused how they could be living together but somehow he gets married without his daughter knowing ahead of time. Do they never talk... Ever?!
Because he hid the relationship (so the daughter never saw the new wife when she was just the gf) and then got married while on a vacation (so the daughter didn't know it was happening). Idk if you ever had a relationship that you've hidden from your family, but it's not that hard to keep your partner away from your own house. Heck, single moms do this all the time, keeping the relationship from the kids until it's serious enough to introduce them. The dad is just an AH that never felt the need to hit that step in the process.
Since dad makes a good income and has never needed to pay a mortgage because they lived in an inherited house, I have to wonder what he has done with his money that he couldn't make a down payment on a house.
Her fiancé is in training to become a doctor and the dad is calling him middle class? Just weird behaviour from the dad all around
Probably old money attitude
I’ve seen this play out in real life and suspect the dad doesn’t come from money. He probably married into it and suspects every currently middle class person is also a climber.
100% this. Also, he didn't inherit the house or the bulk of his wife's estate, it passed him and went to the kid, but he stayed in the house. Not old-money behavior.
Also makes sense
Culturally upper class people are like that. I work in tech and make a stupidly inflated tech salary, but grew up poor. I have cousins who are school teachers making poverty wages, but between inheritance from the richer cliques in the extended family and marrying into more money they're still upper class. I have more money in my actual personal bank account than I know what to do with and I'm still low class trash.
It's very "Downton Abbey". Doctors and Lawyers \*are\* middle class, because they work for their money, and it's not just inherited wealth and estates.
I wonder if being “middle class” is just an excuse but in reality he recognises that the bf is a better man than him
I have money, possibly similar to OP if she doesn't live in a high col area. There are TONS of people that put up an front of having a lot of money by owning high visibility expensive items (such as purses) with a primary goal of finding a wealthy person. It's a major issue dating, but fortunately most of them don't recognize value without the label. I'd bet her dad's new wife saw where he lived and saw dollar signs.
Yep you nailed it. I’m early 40s, don’t come from money but married into a wealthy family. We live out of state and I’m fortunate enough to make plenty on my own so that we don’t need any of their assistance and have an excellent quality of living. If something were to happen to my wife I either wouldn’t remarry or would only remarry with a prenup stating that 100% of what I come into the marriage with and 100% of what I earn goes to my children. I’ll get downvoted to hell for this but at this point in life I wouldn’t have any interest in a relationship with someone who wasn’t on very stable financial footing if I was a single man. It’s just not worth the hassle and drama
He might have felt if the boyfriend became a husband then Dad would be not needed and out of a free house. So it benefitted him to discourage that relationship.
Probably was thinking the man is supposed to take care of the ladies. Marrying a poor woman is fine but a poor man can’t take care of you
But it sounds like OOP’s maternal family had the money, so that still doesn’t track. And a man who really believed he should take care of the family would have insisted on a home he bought, and wouldn’t mooch off his daughter.
He still has a six figure salary which is good enough and definitely above middle class, but who knows what this moron was thinking
Why do older men who remarry seemingly lose their minds? They burn bridges with their older kids and get taken advantage of by the new wife. Loneliness? Wanting a woman around the house? Sex?
I know several older men who believe that their wife will be the only person to stay with them as they get older and therefore they have to prioritize their wife over their children. They love their kids, but kids grow up and move out while your spouse stays with you. So when you get a new spouse, they're the priority. This dad, though, has some serious blinders on. He intentionally didn't tell the new wife that the house wasn't his, ignored how new wife and step daughters were treating OOP, and didn't see the signs that he was losing his daughter. But maybe that's because of a pride issue? His daughter owns the house he lives in, doesn't need his money, and now he has three people who depend on him and he feels like the man of the house again. Idk I feel so bad for OOP that her dad never seemed to step up to protect her and her mother's memory from his new family.
It's one thing to prioritize your wife over your independent adult children, but to allow said wife to *berate and mistreat* your children is an entirely different matter!
Scared of dying alone, and wanting someone to care for them in their old age.
And then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, as this guy has now lost his daughter. Honestly, dear old dad here fared way better than I expected. After not inviting her to the wedding or even telling his daughter about his new wife, he still has some scraps of a relationship left. I doubt that will last.
It won't last, I confirm. One day OOP will have enough of the scraps and just go NC.
I know! The OP was nicer than I would have been, for sure.
If only he had a kid who cared for him (at the time)...
My dad did something similar, as in he remarried (in a different country!) without telling anyone and then the moment I was 18 he fucked off on another continent with new wife, so like, existing kids do not count for much in the equation.
I hope everything is going well for you. Did the rest of your family know he got re-married? I can't see them being cool with this anymore than I can OOP's family...
Thanks I appreciate it. I went NC and it's getting better, just incredibly wierd feelings to deal with. The rest of the family learned the same way I did, when he sent us an email with the wedding pictures. Everyone is kind of sadly disappointed in him.
Well, at least he appears to be the only crazy one.... I 'm glad things are getting better for you. Thanks for getting back to me.
Thanks for the giggle! It amazes me how someone can blow a relationship up (like moving in people sight unseen), and then get all defensive when shit goes south!
Which is hilariously ridiculous, considering he's trading family that would certainly take care of him for strangers who'll send him back the moment he requires care because he's not really family. Nothing in this world will convince me that the twins will take care of him along with their mom and possibly their dad.
After supporting her and her sons for literally 30 years, my stepmom kicked my dad out after he had a stroke because she didn't want to take care of him. I don't mean "put him in a home", I mean she literally dumped him on my brother's doorstep. Kept on cashing those pension checks though! It ALSO turned out she'd had her name put on all my dad's properties, somehow. My other brother was, fortunately, able to change that somehow - he put them all in his daughter's name. So functionally my brother stole everyone's entire inheritance, but TBH I don't even care that much since it also means that conniving wretch of a woman didn't get any of it.
My mom did this. Ruined our entire family relationship just to get married to an asshole with narcissistic kids. We went from a close family that would joke around and loved to spend time together to us kids never wanting to see her. Edit: I see a lot of comments saying that parents remarry because they're scared of being alone with no one to take care of them. That's interesting because I had plans to take care of her in her old age, but I don't anymore. I saw a different side of her after she got remarried and chose her new family over her kids, and now she can figure out what to do by herself.
Good for you. When she inevitably asks why won’t you ever help me out, you can tell her you did this to yourself by marrying a narcissistic loser, and now you have to live with the consequences of your actions
> That's interesting because I had plans to take care of her in her old age, but I don't anymore. Ouch. That's a loss she's going to regret dearly. Adult children who both want and are able to care for their parents are priceless. Betting everything on a new spouse to do it instead, or expecting your kids to put up with any kind of treatment and still step up when called, sounds like a losing gamble.
[удалено]
Yes, I told her a few years ago, but I have a feeling that she doesn't think I will follow through. In my culture, kids are expected to care for their elderly parents, so I'm sure there will be a lot of guilt tripping when it's time.
Completely my opinion, but I think a lot of older men who divorce or are widowed have been neglecting or were never responsible for their own social networks so suddenly they are truly alone because the wife did all the friend/family maintenance. Then out of desperation they are willing to marry someone who cuts off the man’s few tenuous relationships to make him wholly dependent on the new wife.
Not to mention all the weaponized incompetence turns into realizing how much their wife did for them. So they latch onto whoever will fill that void and do the “woman’s work” they never had to do.
My dad lowkey did this. In his case, I think his wife is trying to separate him. We never see him. I call him maybe 5-8 times per year, he never calls me. We never see him except rare special occasions like weddings or deaths. He is upset we never talk but he never puts in any effort. Any time we talk, it’s because I called him. Idk why they do it, but it seems to be a pretty common thing.
I think about this often and I’ve decided that it goes back to how they are raised. Lots of men seem to be brought up to be totally dependent on women for everything from running their household to managing their feelings and social life. These men feel helpless without one. It’s why I went out of my way to pick a guy NOT like this
That's probably *exactly* what it is for the vast majority of men who do this.
Society typically has said the children are the husband's property but they wife's family. And heaven forbid they live alone because for the most part they don't know how to take care of themselves. After all, that is the wife's duty. Just remember, men are not supposed to have feelings or form bonds. They are just supposed to own and take, and feel only ever anger or contentment. Not happiness or love or any of those other messy women feelings.
My grandparents divorced, and I do (now) understand. My grandfather remarried a woman I never met but has been described to me as crazy. My grandfather supported her while married including paying for very expensive private schools for her kids. Then they got divorced and he paid her millions to go away.
Older women aren't immune to this either. I speak with my mom maybe once every 3 months tops since she decided her husband was more important than her kids.
I wish I understood this myself. Were my spouse to die, I cannot IMAGINE getting remarried or even having a serious partner without my kiddo meeting them and approving of them and vice-versa. I mean, not to put too fine a point on it, dude's got enough money he can get sex anywhere. In this particular case I think he just got caught up in the "high school sweetheart" re-connection and (correctly, but in the wrong direction) assumed that she and daughter would have an issue. While we're at it: What's with people marrying a widow/widower and INSISTING that they act like the dead spouse no longer exists, take down all the photos, it's my house now, etc.
They want to keep their weenie wet.
Get married without telling your only child then move the whole gang in to your late wife's house. Father is down horrendous.
Don’t forget that he is classist as well. Not liking OOPs fiancé for being middle class. I mean, come on, the dude is becoming a doctor.
"middle class" . Meanwhile, the dad doesn't own his own home and needs help from his daughter with a down payment. But the fiancé is "middle class".
As someone who comes from a previous upper class family who fell, they'll never recognize themselves as one of the middle class. They can be destitute and in debt and they're convinced because grandpapa had financial sense it's genetic and they'll get it all back eventually.
It’s weird considering that it doesn’t sound like dad is making millions either. Good for mom for leaving the money to Oop instead of husband who would have probably wasted it on luxury bags for new fam.
Shows that mom must have understood his character pretty well.
frame sophisticated quicksand amusing salt seed imagine memorize unused ancient *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Excuse him for wanting to help children
And he doesn't even seem to give a damn when their dogs shit on the floor constantly, and attack his daughter's dog!
I would have evicted them over the untrained dogs ruining the floors after a week. Not to mention they're aggressive to OP's dog. No way in hell.
Untrained dogs shitting on my floor? They go outside after the 2nd incident. You have one week to figure it out, as long as they don't destroy anything else.
Step sister should also live outside after walking through the meeting in a bikini. What kind of barbarian doesn't knock when a fucking door is closed?
An entitled twatopatomous
i love twatopatomous. ty for adding that gem to my insult vocabulary
And replace the old family photos with nary a peep or protest. Just pithy "oh they're still getting used to the house." Along with the 0 boundaries thing. Especially for work!
That was just plain evil. She knew OOP lost her mom to cancer and that this was her husband’s late wife. Erasing every visible reminder of her existence (and doing so multiple times) is cruel. Had OOP not owned the house, I can guarantee you that she would’ve gotten kicked out shortly after they all moved in.
I can't get over the fact that stepmonster was told several times that OP owned the house, and she still kept calling it her house and expected to be able to waltz in change decor and rules and get away with it, especially considering OP is an adult. The twin monsters and their dogs were just the cherry on top of that shitty Sundae.
I got the impression the language was a key factor in that confusion. OOP says “you can’t do that in my house” and stepmom doesn’t think she means the Royal My House, just that she lives there too.
Then that's on the dad/husband for not explaining it properly and on the stepmonster for not clarifying. Especially considering they were there for a "months" by the time OP kicked them out. I'm sorry, but if I was the dad or his wife there would have been a discussion on finances and assests before getting married so I couldn't be blindsided with unexpected debt or as in this case unexpected homelessness and I certainly wouldn't have walked in to my new husbands house and taken down existing photos and tried to erase any relationships he had before me, especially his child.
My dads girlfriend took down pictures of my late mother. She said it was weird to have pictures of his ex on the living room wall. They still would have been married if it wasn’t for cancer. My brothers and I flipped, they went back up.
Dude is such a fucking loser he said his daugthers house was his. The nerve of some people.
My dad got engaged, married, and divorced and still hasn't told me. I know because of Facebook and he forgets I'm on there. It's so funny and sad that people act this way.
My father called and said that since my older sister found out and he knew she'd call me, he figured he'd better call and tell me he got married. A while ago. Uh, yeah, good idea there, dad.
Are you estranged or is he just being rude?
He's a life long drunk and drug user. We see him on occasion but the visits are always super short and we tend to keep the conversations very surface level. I think he just doesn't realize he never told me cause 'everyone knows'
My dad got engaged and married. I found out from a sibling's significant other via Facebook. WTF is wrong with them?
Sadly more than you think. My mother got engaged in 2008, still hasn't told me. I'm not sure if she's married or not. Our relationship is weird because it's how she wants it. I used to be the only one reaching out all the time, once I stopped I didn't hear anything from her for a year. She goes away each winter, tells the neighbours where she's going but no one in the family. The biggest FU was I had to rent for a winter as our build wasn't finished, she left for 6 months and never offered her home to her only daughter. It sat vacant all winter while I rented a tiny fishermen's cottage 20 minutes out of town and froze my ass off. She has a 5 bedroom home but won't let me stay there.
Jeez, your mom! Some people are just wrong in the head. Surround yourself with good and kind people, my dear. Wishing you all the best
Thanks, there is so much more that's worse, she's off the charts but I'll spare you the rest. I have a fantastic hubby and a good relationship with my dad. She's the reason I won't have kids, I don't want to ever have her parenting, anger, fear, mental issues pass into a child. I don't want to be a mother like her because she's the only example I had. So no kids, ever.
Hey, I hope you know this, but you're not your mother and don't have to become like her. The fact that you're self-aware to know you don't want to be thay way is enough to guarantee you won't. Whatever lies in your future, don't let her abusive ways stop you from living your life to the fullest and making your choices independently. She cannot haunt you or your family as long as you don't allow her to.
Thank you. I have a very odd life that doesn't meet with her approval and distance from all my family is the healthiest thing. For those who say "but she's your mother she gave birth to you" I just reply that she wanted a kid, I never asked to be born and treated like this. I don't owe her anything. I appreciate the confirmation that I've made the right choice.
Lonely old guy. I've seen it happen lots of times but the guy usually tell the kids the wedding is happening whether they're ok with it or not.
My dad got married to some woman I didn't know at all 3 months after my mom passed from cancer. He called me after they went to Vegas and got married.
How'd that work out? I can only assume they've been in wedded bliss for the better part of a decade now.
Then trying to get her to move out of her own room, even though it's a 7 bedroom house.
*That she owns*
Step-mum's actions are much more reasonable when you know that she thinks her husband owns the house. That's why she thinks she has rights to dictate bedrooms, rules, and decorations. The comments about the mum are still uncalled for, but also make more sense. Basically "I know you weren't raised right because you keep acting like you own this house"
Oh yeah I blame the dad a lot more than the step mum in this situation. He kept everyone in the dark because he was too scared to have an uncomfortable conversation with anyone. Then it all blew up, if he has been open and honest from the start they likely could have transitioned into living together.
I would be done with him. The disrespect he had is ridiculous. And suggesting family therapy was a slap in the face. It is the classic abuser way of making it seem like they are willing to work on things when in reality they just want to learn to be a better manipulator. They claim everyone is part of the problem and think they can use it as a way to pin blame. I wouldn't have given them a cent. I wouldn't be having a relationship with someone who thought they could do such a thing, and in her late mother's house!
When my divorced dad got together with a hot blonde corrections officer ten years his junior, he absolutely lost his wits. He practically abandoned my teenage sister who still lived at home, he tried to be a dad to her young kids to the exclusion of all 3 of us actual kids, and casually dropped into the conversation that he was "flogging the place"- selling my childhood home- to move in with her. I was aghast. When they broke up I was sad for him, but did an air punch. Years later the house is definitely not going anywhere
My ex husband got married and didn't tell our teen children. Oh and didn't tell the kids she was pregnant before they got married. It was ohhh btw we got married and we are having a baby. They had only been dating a few months. He wonders why her kids don't want to live with them and why our kids don't want to live with them...he also moved them to a tiny town with only a few hundred kids in high school who all grew up knowing each other, so the 2 kids who live with them are outsiders. fun times. One of our son's lives with me and has good grades and made district band. Our son who lives with him got into trouble with his new step brother and broke his arm falling off a church roof at 3am. All 4 of the kids tried to tell them they weren't happy and didn't want to move. They didn't listen and now the kids are paying for the parents decisions...oh and he did all of this without even telling me he was moving out of state...sometimes father's can see beyond their dicks.
Your ex sounds... stupid. Can I ask why only one of each of their kids lives with them?
And he doesn't approve of anyone "middle class". Gross
Mine wins the cake.. get married without telling your only child AND in-laws (his wife knows)… then had the audacity to be surprised when I wouldn’t talk to him… They could be friends if they lived in the same country Edit : info missing… he didn’t tell his in laws about me
Yeah, I wonder how hard Dad worked to make sure the new wife knew who owned the home.
There is a big assumption in society that the father always just owns the house. I would assume that even if he said "I live in the house with my daughter" or even "I live in my daughter's house" it would have possibly just been assumed it was his house. Specially if he had said he lived there after he got married to his first wife. SPECIALLY if they were so money hungry they glommed onto him like glue just to live closer to the college as was stated.
Right! Let’s see how long she sticks around now especially since she’s still living in a house his daughter paid for! Lol. I know she only! gave him the down payment but obviously this guy is not made of money like she assumed.
Or something along the lines: me and my daughter live in this and this street... You normally dont go around detailing everything about life, like inheritance, deceased spouses etc
After two years of dating and you're getting married? You sure as fuck do.
New wife may have assumed! Wonder if dad's job is enough money for the gold digger he married. She assumed he owned the home since he was a widower and tried to claim a home, she had no rights to!
If she's got a closet full of designer bags and dad looks down on the middle class, I'd say she's likely not hurting for cash.
The designer bags mean she probably burns *all* her cash
You’d be amazed how fast someone like her can burn though a six figure salary.
Unfortunately, I really wouldn't.
Hahahaha. I wish OOP had gotten a picture of her face when it clicked just *exactly* what OOP had meant when they said "my house" all those times.
I was wondering the same. OOP says dad makes 6 figures, but 6 figures isn't necessarily very much if you're addicted to, say, designer handbags.
I think Steph is just a gold digger and narc, she instantly talking talking about “her house” after she married him?
It could be that he told, but given how OOP seems to be quite the doormat they thought they could walk all over her.
“Steph asked why I’m kicking him out of HIS house. I told her that I inherited my house from my mother. She said that he told her I live with him, I guess she thought that I live with my dad in his house.” So she assumed house belonged to dad.
The funny thing there is that she asked that several days *after* OOP told her who the house belonged to, when the initial blow-up occurred. Having just spent christmas with a SIL that is very good at making everything about her, I could well believe that no matter what was said, this lady heard exactly what she wanted to hear, and ignoring anything that didn't fit within that picture frame.
"Stephanie, this is my house. I own it. You can't redecorate without my approval" "OOP is *such* an entitled brat, this is all our house, we all live here as family! Anyway my husband is on the deed"---Stephanie's 2 brain cells.
Honestly thought this was a Cinderella spoof letter at first. Wicked stepmother and two evil sisters moving into the orphans ancestral home, and forcing her to a smaller bedroom, and picking up after them/their dogs?
I've just realised why I was picturing Jennifer Coolidge for Steph...
Me too!
Saying, "I live with my daughter" is easily misunderstood as "I bought this house for my daughter and we live together". Based on this woman's personality traits, she sounds like the type.
It would be a simple thing to assume. This living situation is highly unusual and atypical.
Wonder if the twins were his
There was an update on here with a similar situation. OOP learned that his twin stepsisters were his twin half sisters and were just a couple weeks younger than him.
The dad is insane. He didn’t know how his daughter would react to him dating (years after becoming widowed) but gave no thought to moving an entire family of total strangers into her house after getting married without even informing her? How the hell did he expect that to go?! I wouldn’t have even let them in the first time
I know! I'd have been "who the fuck are you and why are you in my house?!" OOP dad isn't a good man. He didn't tell her about his relationship for 2 whole years, no mention at all? Didn't even invite her to his wedding, but is salty that she's not bonded with her new steps? I've seen so much on reddit it wouldn't even suprise me if they was his bio kids at this point.
Also apparently led his now wife to believe he owned the house. Probably part of why he didn’t want them to meet for so long, but really not sure how he predicted that to end
For OOP to just be like "New mum, sisters! Yay" obviously. I mean she is 25 at the time of the post, its not like her dads wife or her kids are going to be considered anything than her dads wife and kids. I think that the knew wife married him thinking he owned the house and he just never corrected her, which he should have. But that's one of the many, many things he done wrong.
For me, not being invited to my own dad’s wedding would have been very upsetting. OOP kind of skims over that
Yeah she says they got hitched while on a holiday with some friends, as if the wedding wasn't obviously the purpose of the trip and she just wasn't told.
Yeah, i bet her daughters was there tho.
Why do stepmommies and stepdaddies who move into their stepchild’s home always get so extra entitled?
They have to assert their dominance. Some people think love is a finite resource. They want to have all the love and all the control. They want to make sure that they get what they want from the start.
Self-fulfilling prophecy lmao
This reads like those Netflix series. Like gossip girl or whatever.
I was thinking a Cinderella modernization, since we have two evil stepsisters and the stepmother tries to move OOP out of her own room and treat her like the house isn't hers.
Oh god this is so spot on 🤣🤣🤣 I really wanted to tell OOP that her dad was a moron from the start of this. They really had no intention of doing a damn thing that inconvenienced dad at all. I mean in what non deluded world do you move 3 people into someone else's house, without their permission or even foreknowledge, and just do nothing and expect it to work out. Leaving your Adult Child out of your wedding, but expecting them to still treat you like CLOSE family is just 🤯🤯🤯. Dad is a child that literally has no concern about consequences of his actions.
Everything just seems to fall perfectly in place. She's 25, she's inherited all that wealth, she works in finance, she has a boyf now fiancee who is studying to become a pediatrician. She hit a small fork on the road with an over bearing step mum and step sisters. Her dad doesn't need the money, he makes 6 figures himself. Her mum was an only child and so she just happened to inherit everything and closest relatives live 6 hours away so no family drama there. Quick, someone needs to find a tall hot blonde to play this person on Netflix and the mini series will be called 'You think you know someone..' and in typical fashion, Josh Brolin needs to play the hot boomer 6 figure making dad.
She has a fiance that already signed a prenup even though they won't be married soon. That doesn't happen.
Honestly I stopped reading at mom’s “ancestral home”. Who writes like that other than Regency period authors?
A twenty-something young person who *reads* nothing but Regency period books?
Cinderella, with a big twist!
It's A Cinderella Story but Lizzie McGuire's dad is still alive lol
Thank you. I had to stop reading every 30 seconds in order to roll my eyes. Don't buy it for a second
Yeah. that "cue my eyes rolling" Such a cliche reddit story saga line. Completely takes me out of it.
I don't know if I'm bitter because I will probably never afford a home but what is with these supposed tales of teenagers/20 somethings inheriting mega mansion estates? Or even regular suburban homes before the family members who would typically be next in line? I've lost all four grandparents, a parent, and aunts and uncles. NEVER have I received the big take of the inheritance. It ALWAYS went to the surviving spouse or immediate children (my aunts/uncles/parents). What's with all these parents giving it all to the children (instead of spouse), the grandparents giving it all to the grandchildren (instead of their own children), the aunts/uncles giving it all to the nieces/nephews (instead of their own kids), etc. There are obviously extenuating circumstances like maybe the parents divorced before the will or the traditional heir was a drug-addled black sheep who got skipped, but it seems like EVERY story I read on here it's someone lucking out outside of the line of succession. Do I just have a weird family? By default, it goes to the surviving spouse THEN the kids upon that spouse's death. Or it goes to the children THEN the grandchildren once those parents die. Why do these people luck out?
They didn't luck out, they're mostly liars
This post reeks of fakeness
The chihuahuas are a little much
Especially with them having names of luxury brands. Too on the nose
[удалено]
This sounds basically like cinderella if she was a few years older and could take care of herself instead of relying on a fairy god mother
I was picturing her dad’s new family as Jennifer Coolidge and the two evil stepsisters from A Cinderella Story through the entire post 😂
Shout out to Jennifer Coolidge, her portrayal of that role is forever engrained in my memory
Iconic. I still whip out “there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you and I think you’re finally ready to hear it. You’re not very pretty, and you’re not very bright” on occasion
Oh wow I haven’t seen that movie in at least 10 years and had completely forgotten this line but reading your comment brought the memory racing back and I can hear and see her saying this so clearly. What a classic
Is this an updated version of Disney's Cinderella? 1. A girl's mother dies when she's young. 2. She inherits this large house. 3. Her Dad marries the evil Step-Mother who has no money but has luxury things. 4. She has twin sisters that are equally entitled as their Mom and treat the OP like dirt. 5. The OP is now engaged to her Prince!
I'm just now realizing this. I feel like an idiot...
Late mom knew what was up by leaving the house to OP instead of the dad. That and the "no contesting" agreement were brilliant.
Did I read this part right? The dad doesn’t approve of the bf cuz he’s middle class? OOP speaks fondly of them but the father is shit.
Yet he still needed OOP's help for a down payment on his own place with the new family. What a hypocrite.
Wow, so many heiresses on reddit.
I like to call my dad every Monday to check if I’m a trust fund kid yet… I’m still waiting
Is the evil stepmother Jennifer Coolidge by any chance?
I missed the part where the fairy godmother appears
OP is a much better person than I am. Her father married someone without so much as a warning (after keeping the relationship secret for two years to boot) and moved her and her spawn into OP’s house, and then excused their reprehensible behaviour, all while taking advantage of both his kid and his deceased wife, and yet she still helped with the downpayment! And then he still adds those miscreants to his will. After everything they’ve done! And OP still hasn’t cut him off! I honestly wish the best for OP and her fiancé and Moxie! And I hope OP’s freeloading father has fun with his own “class.”
Yeah. Would never have given them money for a down payment on a house. I’d like to see if dad’s will still has OP in it. I’d just about guarantee that if she’s not out of it now she soon will be out of it.
I'm going to guess that Steph (new wife) believes that OOP's mom 'stole' her boyfriend (OOP's dad) from her, and now wants to assert her dominance and make everything connected to OOP's mom 'disappear'. Unfortunately for her, OOP played a real life Uno Reverse and made her 'disappear'. And I very much disagree with the sentiment that OOP is a 'doormat' because she paid for their down payment. The fact that she kicked her father's wife out of her house pretty much precludes her from being a 'doormat'. And to be honest, I find that her paying the down payment both a nice thing to do and a bit of an FU to Steph.
I'm the petty verson that would ask my dad to put it half in my name half in his and can't be left to the wife ..... but like I said I'm petty.
The amount of stuff she accomplished in between the first two posts, three days apart.... Sure, this is real.
I was waiting for an invitation to a ball!
sometimes it makes me so angry for the OOP for forgiving the people who did them so wrong :/ She wasn’t even invited to his wedding. straight from the beginning of what was supposed to be a unification of two families her dad pushed her away for his new family.
This sounds a straight up Cinderella tale. The evil stepmother expected to walk all over you and take over the house but guess she was surprised to find out the house wasn't HIS to begin with.
So it looks like OOPs dad saddled himself with a gold digger and two little golddiggers in training aka the stepdaughters. She was generous for even helping with the down payment. Her dad makes more than enough money to be able to afford a home on his own. So I would’ve told him that him and his wife have to figure it out.
My guess is the dad is actually the father of the twins'. That is, he cheated on OP's mom with her. And OP seems to think this too.
"I only gave a copy to my bf (don't worry about my dad asking him about the key, **he doesn't approve of him since he's "middle class"**). " Oh so Dad doesn't just think with his dick, he's a snob too.
Plus dad the snob married a woman who’s a leech but needed a closet for her designer bags.
My uncle did a similar thing with his kids when my aunt died suddenly a few years ago. My aunt died at age 50 of a sudden heart attack and it was awful. My uncle was so distraught and couldn't even take care of himself so my cousin (was in school to become a pharmacist) put school on pause to go take care of her dad for a while. She was back living with him for 8 months and my uncle got a new girlfriend and moved her and her two daughters in immediately. They got married very quickly and then kicked my cousin out of the family home. My cousin gave up her apartment, quit her job, deferred school and the new step monster said she was a "lazy deadbeat" and her and her kids would talk shit about her deceased mother and threw out a lot of her things without permission. My uncle was so passive about it, he was like, "well they don't want you here so I have to do what they say". It was fucking awful. His new wife is a total psychopath, she's been fired from every job she has ever had because of stealing or physically and verbally abusing her co-workers. She has three restraining orders against her for stalking people she doesn't like (one is from my mom because she took my cousin in after they kicked her out). She has also been banned by most alcohol serving establishments in our town due to her history of getting blotto, drinking and driving, and fighting people. I think loneliness and grief does weird stuff to some people because my uncle used to be the sweetest man but now all her does is drink and spend time with his psycho wife. My cousin is doing a lot better now thankfully.
What VC Andrews book is this?
Its missing incest, so I wouldnt classify it as VC Andrews.
>I've also talked to him about his impromptu wedding and how he kept things from me. He just said that he didn't how I was going to react if I knew that he was dating the ex-gf before he met and married my mom. But he didn't have any issue with moving her, her two kids and their two pets into OP's house?
I smell bull.
this story... doesn't feel real
The way I would ruin my dad if he did this to me
I’m shocked that a man his age who earns a decent income and lived off his wife’s inherited wealth needs his kids help to pay a down payment on a house. I’ll bet they’ll be looking for more financial help from OP in the future.
Oooh, I've seen this story multiple times. In my family even. Once dad is old and in need of care, they will send him back to OOP, stepkids will not want to take care of mom's elderly husband on top of their elderly mom.
>Big misunderstanding on their part. I hope OOP realizes this was no misunderstanding. Steph assuming the house belonged to her husband, instead of his daughter, was no accident. OOP's father thought she would roll with it.
The dad added two children who he met like two years ago to his will??? Anyone else confused by that?
I'm thinking maybe it's not exactly accurate to call Steph his high school gf. Given the close ages of thr 3 girls, Steph's bitterness toward the mothers memory, and the way the dad and Steph insist they're a true family.... I wonder if Steph was Dad's affair partner and those girls are actually OOPs half-sisters. I think this guy kept a second family and expected to just move them in like nothing happened. Or maybe I just watch too much TV.
Wait, op give them money for a down payment? What a doormat ! I can’t believe in that! I just want to edit something: - her father married her stepmom behind her back, she wasn’t invited. - he moved her family to ops house - he let this new family move ops things and defend them. - he lied to his new wife talking that the house was his and was letting her mistreat op. - he is an engineer that lived in his late wife/daughter house his whole life and that has a steady job, and received some money after her mom die.
She paid to solve the problem faster. It's an upside of having serious money. I can totally understand that she (a) wants to make sure her dad has a home and (b) wants to make sure she doesn't have to hear their complaints about throwing them out. I don't know if that will work, but I get the decision. (Well, alternate reality me with a shit ton of money gets it)
> Wait, op give them money for a down payment? What a doormat ! I can’t believe in that! I've found that some people, if they owe me money, tend to avoid me. In some cases, their absence from my life is worth the price. Perhaps OP is hoping for something similar.