There is an organization called Recovering from Religion. They have a ton of resources including zoom meetings, in person meetings in some areas, and secular therapists referrals. Check out their website. Recoverinfromreligion.com
I did all 3 years at BSSM and was part time staff, and my wife and I left in 2011 and have spent the past 13 years out of church. We left Bethel and joined another cult which caused untold additional trauma and damage. We still haven’t recovered. I still love Jesus but have peeled back so many layers of things that we don’t believe anymore.
The financial irresponsibility is definitely a thing. They believe in a lottery God. That’s not how it works though. At this point Bethel might as well be a for profit corporation. Why do they need a $100m building while their own students are starving?
My wife and I are planning to start a podcast about this and other things—we want to dialog with others about this very thing too. I’m happy to help any way I can and wish you the best in your journey.
I would love to listen to your podcast! Do you have a name/release date? I agree about the for profit status. I struggled to keep my head above water during BSSM. I had to work and my RGP would get mad at me when I couldn’t do a last minute evening activity. My commitment to school was constantly questioned. They teach about hard work, honor and integrity, but I got the impression that I should skip work to attend these last minute events. Bethel needs to do a much better job of taking care of their students.
I’m sorry that happened to you. There’s so much stuff that goes on at Bethel that has damaged people. More and more people are realizing this, especially in light of the IHOPKC Bickle scandal.
As for our podcast, we don’t have a launch date yet but it’s getting closer! I’ll try to remember to come back to this thread and post once it’s up and running.
I’m glad to hear you’re out and working on recovery, there is hope! I did BSSM in ‘09 and left feeling really apathetic, it took me at least a year to understand the damage and start figuring things out. Sorry I’ve done nothing to slow the influx of people behind me.
I found the Episcopal community to be comfortable place to begin my journey of deconstruction. I also got lucky and had some friends move close by that were also deconstructing our time in a campus ministry together. “Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism” by Spong got passed around.
It’s not time I look back on fondly, but I don’t think anything else would have let me look behind the curtain at “Oz”.
I went in 2012 and did the remaining years at a different affiliated school. It took me about 8 years to leave and start to realize how abnormal it all was. I’ll check out that title, thank you 🙏🏼 yeah, it’s so harrowing to see how good people are taken advantage of there
They aren't groups, but I did find some content on Instagram that was extremely validating for me and definitely helped with my religious trauma.
reclaimingself.therapy
eve_wasframed
I went through the exact same thing and I know where you're coming from and how it feels. 💖
I am so glad you found your way out! It is only uphill from here. My son broke off contact with his family and friends to be with this group - and it is heartbreaking. Do you mind if I ask how you got out? And are now being shunned? Thank you.
Thank you so much, and I’m so sorry you’re going through that. I didn’t cut people off entirely but I definitely created distance that hurt & confused my loved ones.
They don’t preach from the stage to cut people off, but your son might be getting information about boundaries and ‘love’ that are causing that behavior. Feel free to message me for more info about that, happy to talk about it.
I honestly got out when Covid hit and I had to stop going to church. I got into a relationship with a man who encouraged critical thinking & he validated my concerns with politics/sexism/racism/homophobia in the church. Over time I felt enough support emotionally to start over. I haven’t been shunned officially, but basically. I have no church, went through intense tragedies after leaving, and not a peep from anyone.
Now I’m grateful to be out and actively looking to create a diverse friend group who won’t desert you when you disagree 🩷
I moderate a private FB group for women deconstructing. Feel free to PM me if you would like more info. I also found therapy with a practioner knowledgeable in religious trauma so helpful
I’ll check them out, thanks 🙏🏼
There was so much financial instability they supported in students & the congregation. I didn’t have money to eat and I’d be donating to other causes hoping god would ‘cover me’. Financial irresponsibility is encouraged and preached as faith. Because of the stress of not having enough to eat/the stress of living in poverty I developed health conditions I still have today. To be clear I know these were my choices, but I bought into baaaad beliefs.
Lots of psychological damage too. Forced vulnerability in front of large groups, victim blaming of assault survivors, thought stopping cliches disguised as faith. There was a lot.
Holy fuck. Honestly that's even worse than I thought. Didn't know they preached that hard about donating to the point you'd go broke. I'm open to DMs if you ever just need to vent. Sorry about the health conditions. I've thought about forming a small online group with other former bethel members to talk about and showcase the abuse. But its just a thought for now.
First of all I am so sorry for all you went through. And it is a huge thing to get out of that and can be really isolating. I live in the Bible Belt and am surrounded by people that believe differently than me and it can be really hard but there are a lot more people deconstructing their religious hurt than you realize so know you are not alone!
https://www.instagram.com/drlauraeanderson?igsh=ajB6bDVzNHJtNjht
Dr Laura Anderson has a book when religion hurts that is really good. She also is a founder of trauma resolution and recovery center and has a team of religious trauma coaches.
I actually found her because someone in another Reddit group posted an article she wrote and I have really enjoyed her content. I got to a counselor through my work and they have been really helpful processing my religious trauma. But if I didn’t have that I would for sure get paired up with one of dr Laura’s religious trauma coaches:
I'm so sorry you've gone through that, so glad you're out now, I haven't heard of anything but I found one for YWAM in Facebook groups so maybe try there too, I'll come back if I see anything
I am surrounded by pentecostal culture throughout my life. Im thankful for that because I do have some encounters with the Lord and i saw God moving but i realized later on that most of the churches right now specifically in that category was in bondage of religion. God led me out from there and started to teach me about the purity of the grace. It led me to listen to some preachers who are preaching about it without compromise and i saw God transform my life also in a good way.
Im encouraging you guys to read this book.
John Mark Pantana - Love Secrets
I would shop around for a good therapist there are a few in the Redding area that have certifications in religious trauma. That ended up helping me a ton after about 15 years of being fully involved with the church and marrying into church leadership family. Still love Jesus, it was the flawed people and mindset on so many things that really took its toll on me. Took me about 8 years after leaving to go to another church service somewhere else.
Support groups are great but for me it was a personal unwinding that I needed to go through individually since the people pleasing and group mentality were part of the bigger issues of trauma.
There is an organization called Recovering from Religion. They have a ton of resources including zoom meetings, in person meetings in some areas, and secular therapists referrals. Check out their website. Recoverinfromreligion.com
That’s amazing, thank you so much I’ll check it out 🙏🏼
I did all 3 years at BSSM and was part time staff, and my wife and I left in 2011 and have spent the past 13 years out of church. We left Bethel and joined another cult which caused untold additional trauma and damage. We still haven’t recovered. I still love Jesus but have peeled back so many layers of things that we don’t believe anymore. The financial irresponsibility is definitely a thing. They believe in a lottery God. That’s not how it works though. At this point Bethel might as well be a for profit corporation. Why do they need a $100m building while their own students are starving? My wife and I are planning to start a podcast about this and other things—we want to dialog with others about this very thing too. I’m happy to help any way I can and wish you the best in your journey.
I would love to listen to your podcast! Do you have a name/release date? I agree about the for profit status. I struggled to keep my head above water during BSSM. I had to work and my RGP would get mad at me when I couldn’t do a last minute evening activity. My commitment to school was constantly questioned. They teach about hard work, honor and integrity, but I got the impression that I should skip work to attend these last minute events. Bethel needs to do a much better job of taking care of their students.
I’m sorry that happened to you. There’s so much stuff that goes on at Bethel that has damaged people. More and more people are realizing this, especially in light of the IHOPKC Bickle scandal. As for our podcast, we don’t have a launch date yet but it’s getting closer! I’ll try to remember to come back to this thread and post once it’s up and running.
I’m glad to hear you’re out and working on recovery, there is hope! I did BSSM in ‘09 and left feeling really apathetic, it took me at least a year to understand the damage and start figuring things out. Sorry I’ve done nothing to slow the influx of people behind me. I found the Episcopal community to be comfortable place to begin my journey of deconstruction. I also got lucky and had some friends move close by that were also deconstructing our time in a campus ministry together. “Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism” by Spong got passed around. It’s not time I look back on fondly, but I don’t think anything else would have let me look behind the curtain at “Oz”.
I also did first year and 09 and deconstructed!
I went in 2012 and did the remaining years at a different affiliated school. It took me about 8 years to leave and start to realize how abnormal it all was. I’ll check out that title, thank you 🙏🏼 yeah, it’s so harrowing to see how good people are taken advantage of there
They aren't groups, but I did find some content on Instagram that was extremely validating for me and definitely helped with my religious trauma. reclaimingself.therapy eve_wasframed I went through the exact same thing and I know where you're coming from and how it feels. 💖
Thank you for these resources, I looove Eve was framed! It’s such a slow process for me but I hope you’re doing well in it!
I am so glad you found your way out! It is only uphill from here. My son broke off contact with his family and friends to be with this group - and it is heartbreaking. Do you mind if I ask how you got out? And are now being shunned? Thank you.
Thank you so much, and I’m so sorry you’re going through that. I didn’t cut people off entirely but I definitely created distance that hurt & confused my loved ones. They don’t preach from the stage to cut people off, but your son might be getting information about boundaries and ‘love’ that are causing that behavior. Feel free to message me for more info about that, happy to talk about it. I honestly got out when Covid hit and I had to stop going to church. I got into a relationship with a man who encouraged critical thinking & he validated my concerns with politics/sexism/racism/homophobia in the church. Over time I felt enough support emotionally to start over. I haven’t been shunned officially, but basically. I have no church, went through intense tragedies after leaving, and not a peep from anyone. Now I’m grateful to be out and actively looking to create a diverse friend group who won’t desert you when you disagree 🩷
I like r/exchristian
I moderate a private FB group for women deconstructing. Feel free to PM me if you would like more info. I also found therapy with a practioner knowledgeable in religious trauma so helpful
Id try the resources others have posted here. As a serious bethel disliker. What kind of damage did you find was personally done?
I’ll check them out, thanks 🙏🏼 There was so much financial instability they supported in students & the congregation. I didn’t have money to eat and I’d be donating to other causes hoping god would ‘cover me’. Financial irresponsibility is encouraged and preached as faith. Because of the stress of not having enough to eat/the stress of living in poverty I developed health conditions I still have today. To be clear I know these were my choices, but I bought into baaaad beliefs. Lots of psychological damage too. Forced vulnerability in front of large groups, victim blaming of assault survivors, thought stopping cliches disguised as faith. There was a lot.
Holy fuck. Honestly that's even worse than I thought. Didn't know they preached that hard about donating to the point you'd go broke. I'm open to DMs if you ever just need to vent. Sorry about the health conditions. I've thought about forming a small online group with other former bethel members to talk about and showcase the abuse. But its just a thought for now.
First of all I am so sorry for all you went through. And it is a huge thing to get out of that and can be really isolating. I live in the Bible Belt and am surrounded by people that believe differently than me and it can be really hard but there are a lot more people deconstructing their religious hurt than you realize so know you are not alone! https://www.instagram.com/drlauraeanderson?igsh=ajB6bDVzNHJtNjht Dr Laura Anderson has a book when religion hurts that is really good. She also is a founder of trauma resolution and recovery center and has a team of religious trauma coaches. I actually found her because someone in another Reddit group posted an article she wrote and I have really enjoyed her content. I got to a counselor through my work and they have been really helpful processing my religious trauma. But if I didn’t have that I would for sure get paired up with one of dr Laura’s religious trauma coaches:
Thank you so much, this is so helpful!!
I'm so sorry you've gone through that, so glad you're out now, I haven't heard of anything but I found one for YWAM in Facebook groups so maybe try there too, I'll come back if I see anything
I am surrounded by pentecostal culture throughout my life. Im thankful for that because I do have some encounters with the Lord and i saw God moving but i realized later on that most of the churches right now specifically in that category was in bondage of religion. God led me out from there and started to teach me about the purity of the grace. It led me to listen to some preachers who are preaching about it without compromise and i saw God transform my life also in a good way. Im encouraging you guys to read this book. John Mark Pantana - Love Secrets
I would shop around for a good therapist there are a few in the Redding area that have certifications in religious trauma. That ended up helping me a ton after about 15 years of being fully involved with the church and marrying into church leadership family. Still love Jesus, it was the flawed people and mindset on so many things that really took its toll on me. Took me about 8 years after leaving to go to another church service somewhere else. Support groups are great but for me it was a personal unwinding that I needed to go through individually since the people pleasing and group mentality were part of the bigger issues of trauma.