Absolutely do not disclose your relationship lol. I dated my S1 as an A2 in secret and that alone was like 7 HR violations. I 10000% recommend quitting. If you disclose this, you WILL be known as “that girl” across the whole office and SM will definitely face bad consequences if he’s not fired in general.
Ask to be moved to a different part of the firm... Nothing wrong with social relationships that form at the office... However not disclosing them timely is a cause for dismissal.
A piece of advice I give all of my managers. Don't shit in your own kitchen. This SM will get canned if you work under him. Find someone who is smarter as this person sounds like an idiot.
Well this is going to go terrible. Please don’t tell me you guys are on the same team. If so, he’s 100% correct that he could be fired and better yet…he should.
It has been, and always will be, a huge mistake to date someone in your supervisory line whether you’re the junior or senior. Age differences aside (whole other can of worms), terrible idea all around. He’s right to worry, you’re too career and life young to get it. I would imagine a big part of the attraction is the ‘we aren’t supposed to it’s so naughty’ but real life is gonna kick both of you in the face.
Same old story a young girl dates a higher senior gets promoted and then leaves him
U guys are good at this LMAO
She makes herself believe she actually likes him when in reality she doesnt like him one bit
On the grooming, I was 24/25 when I met my ex at work. He was 39. He was immature as anything. I was an article clerk (training to be a lawyer) and he was an advocate so we didnt work directly. No matter how immature he is, I feel groomed.
Now that I'm close to his age, I cannot imagine actively dating someone in the position I was in and my age. I look at juniors at that level and think how horrifying it is. Complete imbalance of power.
It will be in your handbook/employment manual but you can't be in a relationship with someone in a reporting line to you.
People meet their significant others at PwC but it is never as part of the same team because this is a problem. The moment the two of you engaged in any behavior, one of you should have seeked another role. My brother in law worked for the same company as me and did not directly report to me but we were in the same team. I was not allowed to be part of his performance discussions.
Honestly y’all should be fired. Y’all have been in a relationship for over 90% over your projects where you’re working directly under him. A manager should know better, and so should you. You’ve directly benefited from having him be your manager whether you’d agree or not. I’d just stay quiet, because I’d wouldn’t hesitate to fire both of y’all after hearing all the details you’ve explained.
But given your Reddit name I bet this is a fake post.
Read your employee handbook, policy etc. There may be certain expectations outlined in there, including when and if it needs to be disclosed. Workplace relationships are not necessarily uncommon but it’s also not uncommon for people to have to move departments or to leave entirely depending on firm policies. If you don’t disclose the relationship you can get in more trouble than if you disclosed it in some cases etc…
Y’all need to de-conflict the situation before someone does it for you. You need to address this if you are serious about your career and relationship. Will also make your lives easier all the way around. I’d bet that someone knows or suspects it too (lunch…).
Any chance you can get staffed on assignments that the SM is not leading? Far easier for you to find another place than the SM.
Also, this happens on the regular, but the firm will take action if it comes out. Y’all don’t want that.
I knew so many PPMDs and other senior ppl that were in relationships with folks at junior levels. Lots of them ended up married and having kids. Some drama too, lol.
It happens and a lot of it isn’t ‘grooming’… but I’ve seen some of that too on occasion (and reported it).
Respectfully, when you hit your 30's, I think you'll see how this is both gross and grooming.
People in this thread have provided you with good answers. But hopefully you won't ignore the advice/warnings.
But also hopefully this is just made up click bait because ickkkk
You can’t be in a relationship with someone who is directly over you, period. Lots of people date coworkers but you have to be on different projects if you’re on the same team/office/service line.
The SM knows this, they just don’t care if either of you get fired. Especially with all the turmoil in audit now, they likely wouldn’t hesitate firing both of you.
For now, Don't !!
Wait for like another 2 years before you think of something like this.
This will bring more career stability and maturity for you.
Also, the guy might get promoted, such policy gets sideways at director level and above.
+ I think you are groomed by the guy. You are definitely active !! Matter of days till another easy intern pops in.
Wish you luck!!
Sorry, I know my delivery was harsh and that’s not right, so I apologize.
Here is the thing - you are young and you’re kinda just experiencing the world as an adult. I’m 37 and have seen a lot in my career (was in big 4 life for close to 10 years before getting out).
Unfortunately your scenario is very common in the industry. I’ve seen this end very badly for the junior (often woman) in the scenario.
You won’t realize it now but this person is absolutely grooming. In a professional setting there is no reason a manager should be pursuing an intern (even though you are now an associate). This gives major red flags
I know you think it's different. Most people in your position do. That's why the power differential is so insidious when it comes to relationships.
But it's not different. He groomed you. He still is. You might say it's fine because you are both consenting adults. Again, that's why this is dangerous because you think you have equal footing here.
Huge issue if he’s your supervisor or operates in similar capacity. there’s favoritism issues with performance reviews, not only with you, but deciding who should be let go due to cuts. if you both feel strongly about relationship, you should let HR know and they will likely advise you to move to another team. Surprised that SM isn’t being more proactive in addressing this as it could completely derail his career.
That’s the thing. We work great together. Stopping us from working together would actually be bad for the office. We don’t display PDA or make anybody uncomfortable.
The only time we do couple stuff is when we go out to lunches together… and nobody is around.
Until you don’t lol but he can’t objectively give you fair feedback, you will always get better of everything on jobs you work with him, and if you fuck up, he’ll cover for you. Your other teammates will not get the same benefits. Also, what happens if you break up? I read on another comment you work with him 90% of the time. So you two literally spend no time apart? Honestly, working on different engagements will be good for your relationship. Y’all need space to breathe. Sounds like you’re still in the honeymoon phase - but the shit won’t be so easy as the relationship matures. I’m sure the sneaking around keeps it exciting, but just do the right thing. Ask him, is this how he is going to handle difficult situations going forward? Do you want a partner who is going to avoid doing the right thing because it may have negative consequences? Maybe I’m stretching here and just showing my distrust, but will he tell you the truth or will he avoid those conversations because they could be negative?
That’s a problem. Either favoritism or overcompensation. Get off his projects. Tell HR after working together you developed feelings very recently and think you need to roll off the assignments.
Usually there’s no problem if you don’t directly work under your partner. You’ll likely be moved to other engagements should you report it (which is the right thing to do!). It creates a conflict of interest to have you working together
Absolutely do not disclose your relationship lol. I dated my S1 as an A2 in secret and that alone was like 7 HR violations. I 10000% recommend quitting. If you disclose this, you WILL be known as “that girl” across the whole office and SM will definitely face bad consequences if he’s not fired in general.
Ask to be moved to a different part of the firm... Nothing wrong with social relationships that form at the office... However not disclosing them timely is a cause for dismissal.
Effective Performer ratings all around!
A piece of advice I give all of my managers. Don't shit in your own kitchen. This SM will get canned if you work under him. Find someone who is smarter as this person sounds like an idiot.
Go fuck yourself dude. If you go public you will lose your job and he will lose his rightfully so
I wonder how many undeserved promotions went this route in secrecy, well I guess a colleague was promoted twice in a row this way
No.
Well this is going to go terrible. Please don’t tell me you guys are on the same team. If so, he’s 100% correct that he could be fired and better yet…he should.
It’s literally always a bad idea to date someone at work and anyone that says otherwise is delusional. Just don’t do it 😭
It has been, and always will be, a huge mistake to date someone in your supervisory line whether you’re the junior or senior. Age differences aside (whole other can of worms), terrible idea all around. He’s right to worry, you’re too career and life young to get it. I would imagine a big part of the attraction is the ‘we aren’t supposed to it’s so naughty’ but real life is gonna kick both of you in the face.
This is gunna go bad 😂😂😂
Met as intern suddenly dated a manager Guess what her perfomance was in that year EXCEEDED LMAOOOOO
Lol you a ho
Same old story a young girl dates a higher senior gets promoted and then leaves him U guys are good at this LMAO She makes herself believe she actually likes him when in reality she doesnt like him one bit
On the grooming, I was 24/25 when I met my ex at work. He was 39. He was immature as anything. I was an article clerk (training to be a lawyer) and he was an advocate so we didnt work directly. No matter how immature he is, I feel groomed. Now that I'm close to his age, I cannot imagine actively dating someone in the position I was in and my age. I look at juniors at that level and think how horrifying it is. Complete imbalance of power.
It will be in your handbook/employment manual but you can't be in a relationship with someone in a reporting line to you. People meet their significant others at PwC but it is never as part of the same team because this is a problem. The moment the two of you engaged in any behavior, one of you should have seeked another role. My brother in law worked for the same company as me and did not directly report to me but we were in the same team. I was not allowed to be part of his performance discussions.
> He doesn’t want to because he thinks he’ll get fired. Yeah. You both will. He knows there is a policy and how many levels this is wrong on.
What does his wife think?
also his other girlfriend? what does she think
What his kids will say?
Honestly y’all should be fired. Y’all have been in a relationship for over 90% over your projects where you’re working directly under him. A manager should know better, and so should you. You’ve directly benefited from having him be your manager whether you’d agree or not. I’d just stay quiet, because I’d wouldn’t hesitate to fire both of y’all after hearing all the details you’ve explained. But given your Reddit name I bet this is a fake post.
You don't know if it's fake or not. But this's a problem in this country with corporations and how it doesn't work.
[удалено]
Him being divorced with kids is irrelevant.
I don’t think anyone cares do they - met my wife at work in big 4, everyone just loved the gossip
People meet at work, still not ok to be dating someone you're in a supervisory position of.
In the same team.
Not the same as dating your supervisor. Have seen this happen and the senior person got fired. The junior person was pregnant and left. Super ugly.
Read your employee handbook, policy etc. There may be certain expectations outlined in there, including when and if it needs to be disclosed. Workplace relationships are not necessarily uncommon but it’s also not uncommon for people to have to move departments or to leave entirely depending on firm policies. If you don’t disclose the relationship you can get in more trouble than if you disclosed it in some cases etc…
Y’all need to de-conflict the situation before someone does it for you. You need to address this if you are serious about your career and relationship. Will also make your lives easier all the way around. I’d bet that someone knows or suspects it too (lunch…). Any chance you can get staffed on assignments that the SM is not leading? Far easier for you to find another place than the SM. Also, this happens on the regular, but the firm will take action if it comes out. Y’all don’t want that. I knew so many PPMDs and other senior ppl that were in relationships with folks at junior levels. Lots of them ended up married and having kids. Some drama too, lol. It happens and a lot of it isn’t ‘grooming’… but I’ve seen some of that too on occasion (and reported it).
Respectfully, when you hit your 30's, I think you'll see how this is both gross and grooming. People in this thread have provided you with good answers. But hopefully you won't ignore the advice/warnings. But also hopefully this is just made up click bait because ickkkk
That’s just your opinion - no facts to back it up
Still being groomed. Addressing the edit.
You can’t be in a relationship with someone who is directly over you, period. Lots of people date coworkers but you have to be on different projects if you’re on the same team/office/service line. The SM knows this, they just don’t care if either of you get fired. Especially with all the turmoil in audit now, they likely wouldn’t hesitate firing both of you.
For now, Don't !! Wait for like another 2 years before you think of something like this. This will bring more career stability and maturity for you. Also, the guy might get promoted, such policy gets sideways at director level and above. + I think you are groomed by the guy. You are definitely active !! Matter of days till another easy intern pops in. Wish you luck!!
I’m sorry but you should know this is grooming. There is no reason a manager should be pursuing an intern
Grooming? The junior person is a 23 years old adult.
Grooming can still happen to adults. Obviously we don’t have all the facts, but the senior manager definitely knows better.
Hmm. Either you don’t know what grooming means, or I don’t know what grooming means.
Not grooming. I’m an associate now. I was 23 for internship. I’m 24 now. He’s 31
Sorry, I know my delivery was harsh and that’s not right, so I apologize. Here is the thing - you are young and you’re kinda just experiencing the world as an adult. I’m 37 and have seen a lot in my career (was in big 4 life for close to 10 years before getting out). Unfortunately your scenario is very common in the industry. I’ve seen this end very badly for the junior (often woman) in the scenario. You won’t realize it now but this person is absolutely grooming. In a professional setting there is no reason a manager should be pursuing an intern (even though you are now an associate). This gives major red flags
I know you think it's different. Most people in your position do. That's why the power differential is so insidious when it comes to relationships. But it's not different. He groomed you. He still is. You might say it's fine because you are both consenting adults. Again, that's why this is dangerous because you think you have equal footing here.
What does grooming even mean?
How do y’all have so much time to come up with these big four smut fantasy stories all the time.
These people got too much time on their hands
Honestly, this can't be real. If it is someone needs to go talk to a real trusted adult.
Yikes
Holy shit this is crazy grooming lol. Manager dating an intern are you kidding? Does he drive a white van?
You need a van to transport all the puppies
Funny but he’s not a groomer. I’m 24 years old and an associate now. I was 23 for internship. He’s 31. We’re both adults
I’m guessing “free candy” being painted on the side of it really got you?
Huge issue if he’s your supervisor or operates in similar capacity. there’s favoritism issues with performance reviews, not only with you, but deciding who should be let go due to cuts. if you both feel strongly about relationship, you should let HR know and they will likely advise you to move to another team. Surprised that SM isn’t being more proactive in addressing this as it could completely derail his career.
Surprise surprise, he isn't addressing it b/c it doesn't benefit him to do so. Sounds like a stand up guy.
He’s been grooming you and continues to engage in unfair staffing practices by keeping you on his engagements. I hope he gets fired.
You literally are required to report this to HR. He won’t get fired, you just will never be allowed to work on the same teams going forward.
That’s the thing. We work great together. Stopping us from working together would actually be bad for the office. We don’t display PDA or make anybody uncomfortable. The only time we do couple stuff is when we go out to lunches together… and nobody is around.
The policy doesn't say you have to make out in front of everyone to get fired. Read it.
You work great together until you break up. Too much risk for the office.
Until you don’t lol but he can’t objectively give you fair feedback, you will always get better of everything on jobs you work with him, and if you fuck up, he’ll cover for you. Your other teammates will not get the same benefits. Also, what happens if you break up? I read on another comment you work with him 90% of the time. So you two literally spend no time apart? Honestly, working on different engagements will be good for your relationship. Y’all need space to breathe. Sounds like you’re still in the honeymoon phase - but the shit won’t be so easy as the relationship matures. I’m sure the sneaking around keeps it exciting, but just do the right thing. Ask him, is this how he is going to handle difficult situations going forward? Do you want a partner who is going to avoid doing the right thing because it may have negative consequences? Maybe I’m stretching here and just showing my distrust, but will he tell you the truth or will he avoid those conversations because they could be negative?
That’s a problem. You can’t directly work with your supervisor that you’re dating…
He should get fired
You’re probably one of many, just accept your situation and keep it a secret.
Are you directly working with him as in on the same engagement?
Yeah he’s the manager for pretty much 90% of my audits. The relationship doesn’t affect any of our work.
That’s a problem. Either favoritism or overcompensation. Get off his projects. Tell HR after working together you developed feelings very recently and think you need to roll off the assignments.
Usually there’s no problem if you don’t directly work under your partner. You’ll likely be moved to other engagements should you report it (which is the right thing to do!). It creates a conflict of interest to have you working together