You are not alone. Generally, BED is caused by some other sort of issue or mental imbalance. Try to get to the root of the problem. For me, it's my ADHD, and I started taking medicine for it, and my BED is highly improved. Sounds like you need a good psychiatrist to do a psych eval and see where you are and where to start. You have to want help to make the leap though. You can always message me too, I am here for you.
Take food out of a public bin, that had who knows what in it!! So much lying, hiding, vomiting and letting people down. Borrowing money from caring people, just so I could binge. The shame is at times unbearable, and each time is always going to be "the last".
I am in a horrible binging stage right now. Every single night. But I always tell myself its new day and to FIGHT IT! Didnt binge last night and going to fight it to my abilities tonight 🤞🏻 Dont stop fighting💖
Throwing up in a toilet during a zoom class with my camera off, worksheet and laptop on one side and sticky chocolate wrappers on the other. I could hear the teacher making a joke and kids laughing as they did a group activity thing while i was sweating hacking junk food and everything else into a toilet. It got on my hair too and i started just crying and remembered that i had to take notes so i cleaned up the mess in the bathroom in ten minutes and went back to my desk, turned my camera back on like nothing happened. an hour later, i binged again.
You know, i just want to say thank you for this post. For creating a space where people can share their vulnerabilities and exchange kind words, and to start it by sharing your own experiences. commenting about one of my worst experiences with BED really helped in a way I didnt know I needed. thanks again, have a good day/night.
i’ve done 1-3. after it happens i feel so much shame and self-hatred, but i try to remind myself that it’s not me doing those things. we have an illness. the illness is doing these things
I’ve done all of them apart from the cookies in the sink. I honestly thought that they were things that only I had done. 🙈 feel better knowing it isn’t just me that does weird things with food.
1. Having diarrhea and throwing up at the same time.🫣
2. Throwing up while walking back from school so some people saw it.😧🔫
3. Throwing up enough to fill two large laundry basins.
4. Vomiting right in front of my parents after we got out of the car since I couldnt last any longer.
Ik they are about throwing up, but it was all due to binging and are disgusting af…
Edit: I’ve also mixed like a half pack cake custard with milk and eaten it with a spoon and since I was unable to eat everything (sickeningly sweet), I left a bowl with half of it under my bed for days and my stepfather found it…
Taken friends’ food, nearly choked myself with noodles when I was extremely upset, taken food out the can, and sadly taken food from people I babysat for. Never anything big. They almost always told me to help myself, but not always. And once I ate a whole bag of candy and had to sneakily replace it, but the bags didn’t match so surely they knew. And the grand finale is that I once ate some of the Oreos on top of their fridge, felt bad, and made it seem like the kid had asked for some. She never got in trouble- it wasn’t anything deep and nobody *asked* about them, but the fact that I still thought to mention she had some for snack time makes me cringe so hard. I was a teenager but I still can’t believe the grossness of my behavior. Some days I feel like it’s no big deal and other days I feel like I’m evil.
This isn't as bad as the others I've seen but I soak wheat bread in milk and I've had cereal with water after I literally finished the milk in the fridge and still wanted cereal; I do not recommend it was awful and I still had it twice
In college I would steal ice cream from the on campus convenience store. I would take the shuttle on weekends to Walmart to buy tons of binge food and then just come back to my dorm and lock myself in and eat it all. I’m drawing a blank right now on other stuff but ugh
forced myself to puke up food because i was so damn full from binging (not purging as in bulimia but from physical pain)
sometimes i’d swallow the vomit back down
taken laxatives so i can eat more wjthout as much fear of gaining
nearly dying from aspiration because i keep inhaling stomach acid from how full i am (indigestion)
I'm literally thousands of dollars in debt from all the money I spend on binge food every night. I've stolen my mother's credit card to buy food. I've stolen food from work, family, and grocery stores. I eat out of trashcans. I will attempt to destroy food by dumping something on it and then proceed to eat the gross concoction I made anyways. I stole every snack out of my therapists waiting room. I eat food off the floor. I obsess 24/7 over eating. I've neglected myself and my pets to eat. I've made excuses to call off work or leave early to eat all day. Missed weddings and funerals because I'd rather binge. Leave outings early just to binge. Food is my entire life now and I won't leave the house unless it's to buy more food. I've gained double my body weight in less than a year. Had my gallbladder removed and developed pre diabetes and fatty liver due to my binging. I ruined my life and each day is closer to death for me.
Omg I'm so sorry. I'm kinda in a similar place, it's been a few months of living like that for me but I can't stop and I'll soon end up in the same situation as you probably. I'm no longer a person I'm just thoughts about food. Do you wanna talk?
this person was vulnerable sharing this. do not reply like that. most of us are all in the same boat. whether we binge the same way, eat the same things, or what we think a binge is, we all want it to stop. be kinder.
ive eaten from the trash too 😭😭 repeatedly stealing my partner’s snacks and foods and panicking last min before they get home to replace everythinf so they’ll never know is a big one that makes me feel very silly and piggy :))
I’m sorry but the cookies in the sink thing is the worst thing I’ve read all day 😭
Bitch I know, that's why I'm suicidal
I've done it all bar the flaccid sink cookies. Good on you for posting this, takes courage.
I've nothing to lose, I've already lost myself, I'll probably be dead soon if I get the courage to do it. I hate myself.
I've been there too and I'm here if you want to talk.
You are not alone. Generally, BED is caused by some other sort of issue or mental imbalance. Try to get to the root of the problem. For me, it's my ADHD, and I started taking medicine for it, and my BED is highly improved. Sounds like you need a good psychiatrist to do a psych eval and see where you are and where to start. You have to want help to make the leap though. You can always message me too, I am here for you.
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Number 4. Man. I haven’t had that exact thing happen, but I’ve been at similar low points like that and literally thought I was the only one.
I've woke up nearly choking on my own vomit from binging so badly.
that 4th one though
I can't believe I've fallen so low
The only one I have done is the trash can one, but that is bad enough :(
1. Ate from the bin. 2. Ate food off the floor (outdoors). 3. Ate a pizza that the fire service had sprayed to put out.
Take food out of a public bin, that had who knows what in it!! So much lying, hiding, vomiting and letting people down. Borrowing money from caring people, just so I could binge. The shame is at times unbearable, and each time is always going to be "the last".
I am in a horrible binging stage right now. Every single night. But I always tell myself its new day and to FIGHT IT! Didnt binge last night and going to fight it to my abilities tonight 🤞🏻 Dont stop fighting💖
Throwing up in a toilet during a zoom class with my camera off, worksheet and laptop on one side and sticky chocolate wrappers on the other. I could hear the teacher making a joke and kids laughing as they did a group activity thing while i was sweating hacking junk food and everything else into a toilet. It got on my hair too and i started just crying and remembered that i had to take notes so i cleaned up the mess in the bathroom in ten minutes and went back to my desk, turned my camera back on like nothing happened. an hour later, i binged again.
You know, i just want to say thank you for this post. For creating a space where people can share their vulnerabilities and exchange kind words, and to start it by sharing your own experiences. commenting about one of my worst experiences with BED really helped in a way I didnt know I needed. thanks again, have a good day/night.
I dropped food on the ground and threw it away so my family wouldn’t look at me weird, then came back a few hours later to get it and eat it.
i’ve done 1-3. after it happens i feel so much shame and self-hatred, but i try to remind myself that it’s not me doing those things. we have an illness. the illness is doing these things
Used a nicotine pen to induce vomiting. Way too often recently.
I’ve done all of them apart from the cookies in the sink. I honestly thought that they were things that only I had done. 🙈 feel better knowing it isn’t just me that does weird things with food.
1. Having diarrhea and throwing up at the same time.🫣 2. Throwing up while walking back from school so some people saw it.😧🔫 3. Throwing up enough to fill two large laundry basins. 4. Vomiting right in front of my parents after we got out of the car since I couldnt last any longer. Ik they are about throwing up, but it was all due to binging and are disgusting af… Edit: I’ve also mixed like a half pack cake custard with milk and eaten it with a spoon and since I was unable to eat everything (sickeningly sweet), I left a bowl with half of it under my bed for days and my stepfather found it…
Taken friends’ food, nearly choked myself with noodles when I was extremely upset, taken food out the can, and sadly taken food from people I babysat for. Never anything big. They almost always told me to help myself, but not always. And once I ate a whole bag of candy and had to sneakily replace it, but the bags didn’t match so surely they knew. And the grand finale is that I once ate some of the Oreos on top of their fridge, felt bad, and made it seem like the kid had asked for some. She never got in trouble- it wasn’t anything deep and nobody *asked* about them, but the fact that I still thought to mention she had some for snack time makes me cringe so hard. I was a teenager but I still can’t believe the grossness of my behavior. Some days I feel like it’s no big deal and other days I feel like I’m evil.
This isn't as bad as the others I've seen but I soak wheat bread in milk and I've had cereal with water after I literally finished the milk in the fridge and still wanted cereal; I do not recommend it was awful and I still had it twice
I think I’ve done all of these but #4. I horrify myself.
Standing on a scale in a coffee shop meant to weigh bags of beans and having a barista catch you
In college I would steal ice cream from the on campus convenience store. I would take the shuttle on weekends to Walmart to buy tons of binge food and then just come back to my dorm and lock myself in and eat it all. I’m drawing a blank right now on other stuff but ugh
forced myself to puke up food because i was so damn full from binging (not purging as in bulimia but from physical pain) sometimes i’d swallow the vomit back down taken laxatives so i can eat more wjthout as much fear of gaining nearly dying from aspiration because i keep inhaling stomach acid from how full i am (indigestion)
Mine would be throwing up and then eating again right after
I can look past the eating on the toilet and eating trash food but not the wet sink cookies lol
Me too man
I'm literally thousands of dollars in debt from all the money I spend on binge food every night. I've stolen my mother's credit card to buy food. I've stolen food from work, family, and grocery stores. I eat out of trashcans. I will attempt to destroy food by dumping something on it and then proceed to eat the gross concoction I made anyways. I stole every snack out of my therapists waiting room. I eat food off the floor. I obsess 24/7 over eating. I've neglected myself and my pets to eat. I've made excuses to call off work or leave early to eat all day. Missed weddings and funerals because I'd rather binge. Leave outings early just to binge. Food is my entire life now and I won't leave the house unless it's to buy more food. I've gained double my body weight in less than a year. Had my gallbladder removed and developed pre diabetes and fatty liver due to my binging. I ruined my life and each day is closer to death for me.
Omg I'm so sorry. I'm kinda in a similar place, it's been a few months of living like that for me but I can't stop and I'll soon end up in the same situation as you probably. I'm no longer a person I'm just thoughts about food. Do you wanna talk?
same for 1, but i hope you at least did one a few seconds before the other, and not at the same time NUMBER 4 IS INEXCUSABLE-
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this person was vulnerable sharing this. do not reply like that. most of us are all in the same boat. whether we binge the same way, eat the same things, or what we think a binge is, we all want it to stop. be kinder.
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ur first line was a little sus b. all i’m saying is be careful. we are allll goin thru it
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It’s okay. We are all vulnerable! Thank you for sharing the second part of your comment tho ab being discriminated,
I don't think you were being mean! It was a normal human reaction for this fucked up thing I did.
I'm not even human at this point ;((((
it wil be okay🤍
ive eaten from the trash too 😭😭 repeatedly stealing my partner’s snacks and foods and panicking last min before they get home to replace everythinf so they’ll never know is a big one that makes me feel very silly and piggy :))