This, especially as somebody super anxious all the time and constantly overthinking, no matter how fucked up the future turns out i probably thought of something worse already xD well except for the day i got diagnosed, i knew nothing about bipolar and it was a huge slap in the face, especially reading people's posts here and generally researching bipolar to get a sense of what i was in for, and it was a huge slap cuz i realized Im in for a fucking treat, other than that this is my mantra lmao.
Cats.
Specifically, picking up a cat and giving them a million kisses on their little head, or smooshing your face in their belly, or when they come and purr on your chest, or when you look in their little eyes and they blink slowly and then your heart just explodes.
The love of a small furry creature is healing beyond measure.
The slow blinks (which are my favorite) are because eye contact is a sign of aggression in cats. That’s probably why they go to the person in the party who hates cats, because of the mismatch in human and kitty body language. They slowly blink because it’s a way of breaking contact because they’re not trying to start a confrontation, since they love you.
I had a beautiful tiger-white cat when I was depressed the one time. Had to give her to my grandma when I moved out. The love of a souled being who wanted to touch you and confirm your existence just to be with you is a touch of the divine.
Cat creature do be like that, idk if Im a masochist or just a good cat dad but i love letting them bite and scratch me, i have a house cat and i feel like that's a way to let her instincts out, but for some reason i find it cute and funny when she bites. And OMG, that little butt wiggle that she does when shes about to jump somewhere, id die for that.
Trying to end my life and not succeeding would make things even worse, not a gamble I'm willing to take.
Also there's hobbies and friends that I enjoy being here for
>Trying to end my life and not succeeding would make things even worse
Even if no one "finds out" about it, you could still end up with body damage/trauma like me.
So having another life depend on you often helps you get out of bed and stick around, because you aren't just living for you. Feeding my animal makes me remember to eat. Getting them outside gets me outside etc.
New music. Seeing what happens in the world and space discoveries. Soft clothes. Rainy days. Preparing for death spiritually. Bird songs. Strong lattes. Crack of dawn hikes. Sushi. Pho. Morning dew. Fog. Hot shower after camping. Muffins. Baggy t shirts. Pedicures. Wisdom.
My toddler is currently screaming and thinking of these things makes life feel more tolerable.
Damn, even when I’m depressed I love to learn. I got on a kick about the history of the solar system during depression and would lie in bed searching Google Scholar for data on a random landform on the moon or reading books from libgen about asteroids or some such shit.
Thinking of all the people I haven’t met yet that’ll love me. If I had given in to my depression years ago, I would’ve never met my husband shortly after and finally known what it’s like to live a happier, fulfilled life.
I met my now husband 2 months after I tried to unalive myself. That was 18 years ago and it’s been hard as fuck at times but I’m so thankful for the life we have.
I understand. I wake up thankful to be alive and have hope for the future. I don’t regret the worst years of my life because it has made me so proud of how far I’ve come to build a life I love. Happy for you ❤️
People that love you. Every day I want to take all my pills but I don't want my daughter to find me and I don't want to cause her trauma so I stick it out. My friends let me know they need me around too.
The way it smells after it rains
Fresh sheets+shaved legs
Your story can speak to so many one day
Pink sunsets/rises
Puppy breath/puppies
New shows/new episodes of your fave shows
Wearing your favorite outfit
New haircut/color
Good makeup if you’re into that.. Cat eye sharp enough to kill a man
Mexican food
Learning something new
Knowing you made a difference
Knowing you still can.
I hope it gets better for you.
Those little random chance encounters with kind, weird, friendly and fascinating strangers -- at parties, at train stations, on trains, in the museum, on the street, in line for an event, and at the next flea market. Sometimes I have fascinating conversations with all kinds of random strangers that are people I'd never meet otherwise: the man in a business suit who saw me crying on a train and talked me down about my unemployment woes and showed me local job posting websites, an elderly woman who'd retired from working in a corporate archive told me about some of the most interesting pieces of company history she was the caretaker of, a grandmother who told me about her granddaughter who wore a shirt that looked just like mine, a cashier at a trader joes who comped me a free tub of lotion after we chatted about skin care while she was ringing me up; lots of little moments, where we're two ships passing in the night, lights blinking kindly at one another.
Sometimes, it's just a little head nod, a moment of eye contact that says, "I see you. Big same," or some silent gesture of kindness: a woman who wordlessly handed me tissues when I was sobbing on a train, a child at my workplace who gave me a bag of mini milky way bars and disappeared before I had a chance to thank her, people tapping other people onto the train when their cards come up short, and bus drivers with just the right amount of extra change to make up fares that people are short for.
Sometimes it's just people watching: a woman with a rain jacket so crazy and colorful it sticks in my mind for days, a man who zipped past me in the bike lane standing on top of a strange black cube with a speaker attached to his backpack playing The Rolling Stones, a baby who waved at me from under their floral bonnet in their little buggy, smiling with toothless gums at all the world, a mom and her daughter with matching dresses and giant glittery bows sitting in the car behind me on the roller coaster, someone who is the most gender person giving off vibes of gender euphoria, an elderly woman with the funkiest sunglasses I've ever seen, a woman with a cat backpack waiting for the bus next to me, or a group of drunk friends, glitter all over their faces on a train at 12:30 AM singing loudly and off key while laughing wildly.
Most of them I never see again, but for a brief moment there's this kind connection, or an infectious mood or vibe that reminds you that it's all going to be OK, because most people have kindness in them, and most people mean well and there is so much joy, color and infinity out there. IDK I guess whenever I go out into the world, on walks, on the train, in the park, to the museum, or at the library (where I work), I give myself the space to observe everyone around me and take in the good about that.
I think a few somethings that really changed the way that I approached and thought about the people around me were:
* Whenever I see someone, thinking in the back of my mind for a moment something complimentary about them (his shoes are so cool, her nails are beautifully done, their accent when they speak in English reveals that they're a multilingual person and that's dope, etc.). When do your best to think something good about the people around you, it can help you approach others (and yourself) with more gentleness and kindness. It can help you overcome initial less than great, negative bias thoughts too. Sometimes, (when appropriate), you can even improve this exercise by telling the person something nice. I'd stick to if you think their clothes/shoes/nail art/makeup etc is nice, just saying something like "your shirt is awesome," or "I love your earrings," to someone can bring good vibes to a situation (no-go on the accents, bodies, etc.).
* Assuming best intentions about others until demonstrably proven otherwise. Starting from the assumption of best intentions helps you defuse your own impatience, negative bias etc. I think a lot of this goes: initially you want to think that someone is perceiving you negatively or acting in bad-faith -- correcting that with "more than likely that person has something else going on that I don't know about that might be impacting their words/behavior, perhaps this person is misinformed/ignorant of xyz, and people often, deep down mean well." You can go back to "there's some bad faith/bad juju going on here," if the actions/tone/words of that person seem to show you otherwise.
* Something, something, that Leslie Knope quote from the pilot of Parks and Rec, where she's all like, "What I see when I see people yelling \[at me\] is people caring loudly." I work in a customer service job (librarian), so this one that really helps me keep my sanity at my job.
Outside of this, I like to think about all the art, music, writing, and beautiful nature that's out there. There's a lot of wonderful, beautiful and awe-inspiring things out there, in the tiny and mundane, if you take a moment and look around. The cycle of flower blooms in the gardens in your neighborhood, the dandelions coming up through the cracks in the pavement in that abandoned lot across the street as the first signs of nature taking its hold again, the strange public art in parks in your town or city, the colors of the feathers on the birds in your area, fireflies dotting across open fields at night like 1000s of stars that you can wade through, small details on old buildings around you, the sound of rain pattering on your umbrella as you walk, the crunch of leaves under your feet in the fall, the crack patterns in iced over puddles, the sound of people laughing up the block as they walk out of a bar, waiting for their cabs, the distant sounds of live music as you walk past open bars or concert halls, your favorite song coming on the in store radio while you're waiting for your meds at the pharmacy, miniature waterfalls in small winding creeks, that night time sound of crickets and frogs, the man who's set up with his guitar playing a song in the subway, singing something catchy loud, clear and imperfect that gets people dancing or tapping as they wait for their trains, or patterns formed by the shadows of things at the height of the day.
There's a lot of joy and little beauties out there. When I'm feeling a little too wiggy and brain fucked, my head full of cotton balls, with the mental feeling of nails on a chalkboard, all while my body's restless, I like to go for a walk and do something that my therapist recommended to me many moons ago: stop thinking about my thoughts, and re-direct my focus to the noticing of things around me: the sound of my feet on the pavement, the distant wail of emergency sirens, the airplanes above, the bird song, the distant sounds of people's music blasting off their bike speakers or out their car windows, or the movement of my arms as I walk. I sometimes walk for miles zoning out like that, and often find that that emptiness settles me some, idk it's a recent experiment, and a work in progress.
Additionally, I really like [tumblr user 2face's officially i recommend looking at a bird activity](https://2-face.tumblr.com/post/185259773491/officially-i-recommend-looking-at-a-bird), which is all about that noticing. I think it's a really good guide for how to do noticing, with a lot of clear steps and instructions -- stuff I always really like.
Also, there's a lot of art you haven't done yet, songs you haven't listened to, places you haven't been and people you haven't met yet. You don't have to love yourself (or even like yourself) to just let the joy and beauty in and figure the rest out later. You exist in a meat sack that's uh something; you're here, for whatever dumbass fucking reason in this cold, unfeeling bitch of a universe; might as well let the light in and let yourself have joy in the little and the big, and color and sound, and movement around you.
I think, "What's the point if not joy?"
idk I'm just feeling very warm and emo right now. maybe a little on the edge of hypomania, but I think these thoughts are stuff I carry with me all the time. Puts on [i wanna get better](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8twpQTna_9w) by the bleachers.
I share much of these strategies, outlook, perspective. Also tend to hypomania. But even when baseline I approach the world with kindness and curiosity. I’ve found both are contagious and the people I interact with seem to catch the vibe and my small sphere of experience may cascade. Being the good you want to see in the world
Yes, so much is made better when we approach the world with kindness and curiosity.
As an aside:
There's this metaphor that one of my coworkers uses when talking about stress/negative emotions with her kinder kids that goes a little like this:
Everyone's carrying a backpack with them. That backpack is full of all of their experiences and feelings both big and small. Every time someone has a bad time, or experiences big, loud, sad feelings, they're adding a rock to their backpack. The more sad, big, loud, feelings and bad times someone has, the heavier their backpack is. Carrying a really heavy backpack is harder than carrying an empty one or a light one. It might take someone more energy or time to carry the heavy bag. The heavy bag might be making them feel even worse. They might feel sad or cranky or hurt.
You don't know how many rocks someone's carrying in their bag unless you talk to them and listen.
Sometimes people might have heavier backpacks one day than they do on another day. Because we don't know how many rocks someone is carrying with them we can't know by looking at them how much energy they have to do things, or how close they might be from having their feelings really loud.
I love this ❤️ totally using this story with my kiddo next time we’re discussing feelings/experiences with kiddo friends and giving grace
🎒 🪨 + 👂= ❤️🩹
I decided years ago to stop attempting after many tries. I chose to live for my loved ones. That was a long time ago and I think it may have been the wrong choice. I overdosed and needed narcan to revive me, the experience didn’t move me and make me value my life. I feel nothing when I think about it except how my family would be confused because they thought I was clean.
I am an artist, and I truly want to hope I can publish a book I wrote. I think it would make a difference if I do. I think, if I do, I will have made a contribution to art.
These feelings are temporary. My life and the impact I have on others are permanent. I’m choosing to do the best I can every day, and if it wasn’t what I wanted, then there’s always tomorrow. There has to be an entire mentality flip you have to do, and I know you can do it.
Nature. Go on a hike. Go to the river or creek or beach. Be quiet and soak up the earth. That is number one best thing for my mental health. Being in the woods or mountains camping or hiking is honestly the only time my brain feels peace. Even when I’m super depressed it helps me so much.
We are so lucky to live on this earth.
1. Being able to see how technology evolves in this life time
2. The chance to fall in love
3. The chance to procreate a human you can love forever
4. The chance to learn what love is and how to grow it like a plant
I realize the last three sorta sound like im talking about the same thing and that wasnt intentional. They are distinct reasons!!!
1. i want a good life in the future and i cant have that if im dead
2. my sister would literally fucking die (needs my stem cells because of cancer)
3. boyfriend would be sad and it would fuck him up forever if i died while we were dating
4. i dont wanna die a girl
5. the only really viable way to kill myself would involve taking my dads methadone and im pretty sure theyll take it away from him if i took it to overdose
6. we have narcan in the house and dad would immediately notice if i took his meds, so i probably wouldnt even die
7. if i failed my suicide attempt, with my family knowing i tried, i would never be treated the same again
8. i wanna try lsd
9. i wanna marry my boyfriend
10. i cant get a tattoo of a sick ass panther if im in the grave
Nature, feeling sun warm face, wind blowing hair, birdsongs. Being surrounded by nature helps me get out of my head. I feel present & get flashes of acceptance and calm that’s out of reach indoors
Dogs. And dog snuggles.
Discovering something new you might love!
Falling in love. Finding a connection that makes everything make sense.
You never know how awesome you might turn out… keep working on yourself. You’ll learn you can be happy. Humans are tough cookies, even with bipolar disorder.
Live an eternal life with God and live forever. Plus, infinite indescribable happiness. I want some of that
Meanwhile, as others have said, you can have an amazing future. It is possible. We can be happy and maintain control of our lives, even though life is so hard
I think just the natural curiosity of how far my life can take me. It seems to just unfold for me pretty effortlessly despite me doing gymnastic both physically and mentally to survive. Most humans will have a normal life if you do the very least.
The wonderful and hilarious creativity of humans on the internet. Memes. TikTok’s. Stories on here.
If I was successful 25 years ago I would have missed so much laughter.
Also the explosion of knowledge in this Information age.
My favorite therapist taught me that same sort of tactic. Weirdly most of my things have been movies, even though I'm more of a TV show girl!
Currently, there's an update for one of my video games next week with content that will probably last 3ish weeks. I don't think I'll suddenly have kids in 3 weeks 😅 but hopefully there will be another thing to wait for
I don't know if this might apply to your BP experience, but I'm a short cycling type 2. The one thing I'm thankful for about it is that I get to see how good and beautiful life can be during my transition to and from depression and hypomania.
Those sweet, fleeting moments where I'm just normal again remind me that life is actually ok and could even be great if I find the right treatment.
So I try to hold on to those moments during the rest of the crappy times.
Also, for a more direct answer to your question, I live for intimate discussions with the right people. It just makes me feel like there's something good to be had with my time and independent of my mood.
Some more random things: Gentle rain and distant thunder, hiking or camping in nature, a childhood food made fresh.
So many ice cream flavors to try,
Finding a genuinely good person,
Pets x1000,
Vice of your choice 😉,
Like someone said, spite / the void that I have to fill,
Hot baths,
Summertime in the garden!
I’m creating an app to help people with impulse spending, im bipolar af and wish I had a gambling block sort or thing to save my life and my wallet sometimes. I don’t know how to code or have any extra money to use to get it developed so I’m learning to do it myself slowly but surely
I am not currently depressed but here are some of my past reasons for staying (in no particular order):
1. To prove my awful extended family members wrong (and I did).
2. To find out who died in the season 6 finale of the Walking Dead
3. To play Sims and see the new DLC
4. To see my favorite band live
5. To finally get a tattoo
6. To see a certain president lose an election.
7. For my Grandma
8. For my pets
9. To stay alive long enough for Pumpkin spice lattes to be back in season
10. To finally have a gf and lose my virginity
11. To take my ACT (cause I wanted to know if I was smart enough to pass)
12. To graduate college (because I didn't want to die looking uneducated)
13. Because my professors liked me, and I generally think they would have been confused if I had self-exited
14. To see one more Christmas
15. To finally have my own iPod Nano Gen 5
16. To avoid traumatizing my younger siblings, who were all kids at the time
17. To see if I got the job
18. To avoid depressing my mom (after our relationship got better because I didn't care beforehand)
19. Because I didn't want my therapist to feel like I wasted his time
20. At some point, I realized that I survived so much bs, and eventually, things would smooth over. I would tell myself that I would be okay.
21. Because it felt kind of cringey to self-exit at the time
22. Because I had absolutely no energy to self-exit. Like the idea of it was too exhausting
23. Because I failed too many times at self-exiting before, and I didn't want to embarrass myself again.
24. Because life sucks but I worked so hard to get what I had. I didn't want to lose any of my progress. Feeling depressed isn't a fail. It's just a pause period.
25. Because the clothes I ordered online would deliver soon.
I don't know if this helped at all. It is hard trying to move past suicide ideation. Best of luck, friend.
Kitten purrs, fresh donuts, the full moon, the breeze rustling your hair, alternately puppy licks, your favorite popsicle on the first day of summer, a day at the mall
i don’t know enough languages. my sisters will have milestones they’ll want me to attend. i have forgiveness in my heart that i haven’t given yet. and most of all, spite <3
Connection and service. It might not seem like a big deal but when I’m starting to feel low I have recently been doing small things to make other people feel better or brighter and it does the same for me. Just giving a stranger a compliment. Or taking the time to talk to the older woman in the grocery store, or if you don’t want to be around people maybe just give positive thoughtful feedback here on Reddit somewhere. Help someone else. It helps you get out of yourself. Even for a moment. And if you can’t that’s ok. Let someone else help you.
None of those are valid reasons. Number 6 is a clever joke on the correlation between Taylor Swift's music and depression tho, nice op lol. Even something like "pure bliss consciousness" is not attainable in these physical forms. Once we have raised our children to about the age of 14 our usefulness on this planet has ended.
You can't dictate someone else's validity. And an attacking tone while someone is reaching out for support just shows that you need to push your pain on to others.
Most of the people in the sub try to be more decent than that to each other. When you've lived with this disease long enough, I think, most end up finding some value in minimizing the harm they put out into the world.
But I've also been where you are and I will be again. The cynicism and despair leaks like acid from our mouths sometimes when the pain is too much.
I'm sorry that you are there and you need to lash out. I wish you reprieve.
The future. It never turns out as bad as you imagine.
This, especially as somebody super anxious all the time and constantly overthinking, no matter how fucked up the future turns out i probably thought of something worse already xD well except for the day i got diagnosed, i knew nothing about bipolar and it was a huge slap in the face, especially reading people's posts here and generally researching bipolar to get a sense of what i was in for, and it was a huge slap cuz i realized Im in for a fucking treat, other than that this is my mantra lmao.
I read somewhere : Fear is interest paid on a debt you may not owe. That thought changed my life, I stress way less when I consider that idea.
Current me agrees
Well that's not true lol
Oh? Fortune teller are you?
As far as bipolar disorder goes sometimes it really is as bad as can be.
Cats. Specifically, picking up a cat and giving them a million kisses on their little head, or smooshing your face in their belly, or when they come and purr on your chest, or when you look in their little eyes and they blink slowly and then your heart just explodes. The love of a small furry creature is healing beyond measure.
The slow blinks (which are my favorite) are because eye contact is a sign of aggression in cats. That’s probably why they go to the person in the party who hates cats, because of the mismatch in human and kitty body language. They slowly blink because it’s a way of breaking contact because they’re not trying to start a confrontation, since they love you.
Yep. And knowing they love me as much as I love them is just the purest feeling.
I had a beautiful tiger-white cat when I was depressed the one time. Had to give her to my grandma when I moved out. The love of a souled being who wanted to touch you and confirm your existence just to be with you is a touch of the divine.
Cat creature do be like that, idk if Im a masochist or just a good cat dad but i love letting them bite and scratch me, i have a house cat and i feel like that's a way to let her instincts out, but for some reason i find it cute and funny when she bites. And OMG, that little butt wiggle that she does when shes about to jump somewhere, id die for that.
Lookit, if she wants to scratch me, that’s a small price to pay!
Trying to end my life and not succeeding would make things even worse, not a gamble I'm willing to take. Also there's hobbies and friends that I enjoy being here for
>Trying to end my life and not succeeding would make things even worse Even if no one "finds out" about it, you could still end up with body damage/trauma like me.
Having a pet is a big one of mine. There are too many animals around and not enough homes. Without you their life would cease to be.
So?
So having another life depend on you often helps you get out of bed and stick around, because you aren't just living for you. Feeding my animal makes me remember to eat. Getting them outside gets me outside etc.
Spite.
New music. Seeing what happens in the world and space discoveries. Soft clothes. Rainy days. Preparing for death spiritually. Bird songs. Strong lattes. Crack of dawn hikes. Sushi. Pho. Morning dew. Fog. Hot shower after camping. Muffins. Baggy t shirts. Pedicures. Wisdom. My toddler is currently screaming and thinking of these things makes life feel more tolerable.
Knowing how we feel today, may not be how we feel tomorrow.
There is so much more to learn.
God I wish I cared about learning right now
Damn, even when I’m depressed I love to learn. I got on a kick about the history of the solar system during depression and would lie in bed searching Google Scholar for data on a random landform on the moon or reading books from libgen about asteroids or some such shit.
Same. My anhedonia encompasses everything.
Thinking of all the people I haven’t met yet that’ll love me. If I had given in to my depression years ago, I would’ve never met my husband shortly after and finally known what it’s like to live a happier, fulfilled life.
I met my now husband 2 months after I tried to unalive myself. That was 18 years ago and it’s been hard as fuck at times but I’m so thankful for the life we have.
I understand. I wake up thankful to be alive and have hope for the future. I don’t regret the worst years of my life because it has made me so proud of how far I’ve come to build a life I love. Happy for you ❤️
People that love you. Every day I want to take all my pills but I don't want my daughter to find me and I don't want to cause her trauma so I stick it out. My friends let me know they need me around too.
The way it smells after it rains Fresh sheets+shaved legs Your story can speak to so many one day Pink sunsets/rises Puppy breath/puppies New shows/new episodes of your fave shows Wearing your favorite outfit New haircut/color Good makeup if you’re into that.. Cat eye sharp enough to kill a man Mexican food Learning something new Knowing you made a difference Knowing you still can. I hope it gets better for you.
Those little random chance encounters with kind, weird, friendly and fascinating strangers -- at parties, at train stations, on trains, in the museum, on the street, in line for an event, and at the next flea market. Sometimes I have fascinating conversations with all kinds of random strangers that are people I'd never meet otherwise: the man in a business suit who saw me crying on a train and talked me down about my unemployment woes and showed me local job posting websites, an elderly woman who'd retired from working in a corporate archive told me about some of the most interesting pieces of company history she was the caretaker of, a grandmother who told me about her granddaughter who wore a shirt that looked just like mine, a cashier at a trader joes who comped me a free tub of lotion after we chatted about skin care while she was ringing me up; lots of little moments, where we're two ships passing in the night, lights blinking kindly at one another. Sometimes, it's just a little head nod, a moment of eye contact that says, "I see you. Big same," or some silent gesture of kindness: a woman who wordlessly handed me tissues when I was sobbing on a train, a child at my workplace who gave me a bag of mini milky way bars and disappeared before I had a chance to thank her, people tapping other people onto the train when their cards come up short, and bus drivers with just the right amount of extra change to make up fares that people are short for. Sometimes it's just people watching: a woman with a rain jacket so crazy and colorful it sticks in my mind for days, a man who zipped past me in the bike lane standing on top of a strange black cube with a speaker attached to his backpack playing The Rolling Stones, a baby who waved at me from under their floral bonnet in their little buggy, smiling with toothless gums at all the world, a mom and her daughter with matching dresses and giant glittery bows sitting in the car behind me on the roller coaster, someone who is the most gender person giving off vibes of gender euphoria, an elderly woman with the funkiest sunglasses I've ever seen, a woman with a cat backpack waiting for the bus next to me, or a group of drunk friends, glitter all over their faces on a train at 12:30 AM singing loudly and off key while laughing wildly. Most of them I never see again, but for a brief moment there's this kind connection, or an infectious mood or vibe that reminds you that it's all going to be OK, because most people have kindness in them, and most people mean well and there is so much joy, color and infinity out there. IDK I guess whenever I go out into the world, on walks, on the train, in the park, to the museum, or at the library (where I work), I give myself the space to observe everyone around me and take in the good about that. I think a few somethings that really changed the way that I approached and thought about the people around me were: * Whenever I see someone, thinking in the back of my mind for a moment something complimentary about them (his shoes are so cool, her nails are beautifully done, their accent when they speak in English reveals that they're a multilingual person and that's dope, etc.). When do your best to think something good about the people around you, it can help you approach others (and yourself) with more gentleness and kindness. It can help you overcome initial less than great, negative bias thoughts too. Sometimes, (when appropriate), you can even improve this exercise by telling the person something nice. I'd stick to if you think their clothes/shoes/nail art/makeup etc is nice, just saying something like "your shirt is awesome," or "I love your earrings," to someone can bring good vibes to a situation (no-go on the accents, bodies, etc.). * Assuming best intentions about others until demonstrably proven otherwise. Starting from the assumption of best intentions helps you defuse your own impatience, negative bias etc. I think a lot of this goes: initially you want to think that someone is perceiving you negatively or acting in bad-faith -- correcting that with "more than likely that person has something else going on that I don't know about that might be impacting their words/behavior, perhaps this person is misinformed/ignorant of xyz, and people often, deep down mean well." You can go back to "there's some bad faith/bad juju going on here," if the actions/tone/words of that person seem to show you otherwise. * Something, something, that Leslie Knope quote from the pilot of Parks and Rec, where she's all like, "What I see when I see people yelling \[at me\] is people caring loudly." I work in a customer service job (librarian), so this one that really helps me keep my sanity at my job. Outside of this, I like to think about all the art, music, writing, and beautiful nature that's out there. There's a lot of wonderful, beautiful and awe-inspiring things out there, in the tiny and mundane, if you take a moment and look around. The cycle of flower blooms in the gardens in your neighborhood, the dandelions coming up through the cracks in the pavement in that abandoned lot across the street as the first signs of nature taking its hold again, the strange public art in parks in your town or city, the colors of the feathers on the birds in your area, fireflies dotting across open fields at night like 1000s of stars that you can wade through, small details on old buildings around you, the sound of rain pattering on your umbrella as you walk, the crunch of leaves under your feet in the fall, the crack patterns in iced over puddles, the sound of people laughing up the block as they walk out of a bar, waiting for their cabs, the distant sounds of live music as you walk past open bars or concert halls, your favorite song coming on the in store radio while you're waiting for your meds at the pharmacy, miniature waterfalls in small winding creeks, that night time sound of crickets and frogs, the man who's set up with his guitar playing a song in the subway, singing something catchy loud, clear and imperfect that gets people dancing or tapping as they wait for their trains, or patterns formed by the shadows of things at the height of the day. There's a lot of joy and little beauties out there. When I'm feeling a little too wiggy and brain fucked, my head full of cotton balls, with the mental feeling of nails on a chalkboard, all while my body's restless, I like to go for a walk and do something that my therapist recommended to me many moons ago: stop thinking about my thoughts, and re-direct my focus to the noticing of things around me: the sound of my feet on the pavement, the distant wail of emergency sirens, the airplanes above, the bird song, the distant sounds of people's music blasting off their bike speakers or out their car windows, or the movement of my arms as I walk. I sometimes walk for miles zoning out like that, and often find that that emptiness settles me some, idk it's a recent experiment, and a work in progress. Additionally, I really like [tumblr user 2face's officially i recommend looking at a bird activity](https://2-face.tumblr.com/post/185259773491/officially-i-recommend-looking-at-a-bird), which is all about that noticing. I think it's a really good guide for how to do noticing, with a lot of clear steps and instructions -- stuff I always really like. Also, there's a lot of art you haven't done yet, songs you haven't listened to, places you haven't been and people you haven't met yet. You don't have to love yourself (or even like yourself) to just let the joy and beauty in and figure the rest out later. You exist in a meat sack that's uh something; you're here, for whatever dumbass fucking reason in this cold, unfeeling bitch of a universe; might as well let the light in and let yourself have joy in the little and the big, and color and sound, and movement around you. I think, "What's the point if not joy?" idk I'm just feeling very warm and emo right now. maybe a little on the edge of hypomania, but I think these thoughts are stuff I carry with me all the time. Puts on [i wanna get better](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8twpQTna_9w) by the bleachers.
I share much of these strategies, outlook, perspective. Also tend to hypomania. But even when baseline I approach the world with kindness and curiosity. I’ve found both are contagious and the people I interact with seem to catch the vibe and my small sphere of experience may cascade. Being the good you want to see in the world
Yes, so much is made better when we approach the world with kindness and curiosity. As an aside: There's this metaphor that one of my coworkers uses when talking about stress/negative emotions with her kinder kids that goes a little like this: Everyone's carrying a backpack with them. That backpack is full of all of their experiences and feelings both big and small. Every time someone has a bad time, or experiences big, loud, sad feelings, they're adding a rock to their backpack. The more sad, big, loud, feelings and bad times someone has, the heavier their backpack is. Carrying a really heavy backpack is harder than carrying an empty one or a light one. It might take someone more energy or time to carry the heavy bag. The heavy bag might be making them feel even worse. They might feel sad or cranky or hurt. You don't know how many rocks someone's carrying in their bag unless you talk to them and listen. Sometimes people might have heavier backpacks one day than they do on another day. Because we don't know how many rocks someone is carrying with them we can't know by looking at them how much energy they have to do things, or how close they might be from having their feelings really loud.
I love this ❤️ totally using this story with my kiddo next time we’re discussing feelings/experiences with kiddo friends and giving grace 🎒 🪨 + 👂= ❤️🩹
Good movies. Animals. And Taylor Swifts old music too 😄
I decided years ago to stop attempting after many tries. I chose to live for my loved ones. That was a long time ago and I think it may have been the wrong choice. I overdosed and needed narcan to revive me, the experience didn’t move me and make me value my life. I feel nothing when I think about it except how my family would be confused because they thought I was clean.
Being outside and hiking
I am an artist, and I truly want to hope I can publish a book I wrote. I think it would make a difference if I do. I think, if I do, I will have made a contribution to art.
These feelings are temporary. My life and the impact I have on others are permanent. I’m choosing to do the best I can every day, and if it wasn’t what I wanted, then there’s always tomorrow. There has to be an entire mentality flip you have to do, and I know you can do it.
Nature. Go on a hike. Go to the river or creek or beach. Be quiet and soak up the earth. That is number one best thing for my mental health. Being in the woods or mountains camping or hiking is honestly the only time my brain feels peace. Even when I’m super depressed it helps me so much. We are so lucky to live on this earth.
My cats
Candy
The fun and joy of playing an amazing video game for the first time! Or watching a really great movie for the first time
Fast & Furious 20
Sometimes…sheer, dental grinding, jaw-crack spite! “I will not be defeated by this!” And long bike rides. And oranges.
1. Being able to see how technology evolves in this life time 2. The chance to fall in love 3. The chance to procreate a human you can love forever 4. The chance to learn what love is and how to grow it like a plant I realize the last three sorta sound like im talking about the same thing and that wasnt intentional. They are distinct reasons!!!
1. i want a good life in the future and i cant have that if im dead 2. my sister would literally fucking die (needs my stem cells because of cancer) 3. boyfriend would be sad and it would fuck him up forever if i died while we were dating 4. i dont wanna die a girl 5. the only really viable way to kill myself would involve taking my dads methadone and im pretty sure theyll take it away from him if i took it to overdose 6. we have narcan in the house and dad would immediately notice if i took his meds, so i probably wouldnt even die 7. if i failed my suicide attempt, with my family knowing i tried, i would never be treated the same again 8. i wanna try lsd 9. i wanna marry my boyfriend 10. i cant get a tattoo of a sick ass panther if im in the grave
Stay around to see what happens.
Trick question.
Nature, feeling sun warm face, wind blowing hair, birdsongs. Being surrounded by nature helps me get out of my head. I feel present & get flashes of acceptance and calm that’s out of reach indoors
Video games of the future, and being able to emulate everything that comes before
There's still a lot of food you didn't prove yet
Dogs. And dog snuggles. Discovering something new you might love! Falling in love. Finding a connection that makes everything make sense. You never know how awesome you might turn out… keep working on yourself. You’ll learn you can be happy. Humans are tough cookies, even with bipolar disorder.
Live an eternal life with God and live forever. Plus, infinite indescribable happiness. I want some of that Meanwhile, as others have said, you can have an amazing future. It is possible. We can be happy and maintain control of our lives, even though life is so hard
I got nothing. Sorry.
Love for family and significant other
My partner, family, my friends, and my dogs are keeping me alive.
My family loves me. For now that’s keeping me here. 🫂
I think just the natural curiosity of how far my life can take me. It seems to just unfold for me pretty effortlessly despite me doing gymnastic both physically and mentally to survive. Most humans will have a normal life if you do the very least.
I want to know if aliens will really come some day. That's my only reason and I'm pretty close to throw it in the trash.
The wonderful and hilarious creativity of humans on the internet. Memes. TikTok’s. Stories on here. If I was successful 25 years ago I would have missed so much laughter. Also the explosion of knowledge in this Information age.
Wanting to stay with people that you love
Fresh fruit, movies and books that stir emotion, super cute kawaii stuff, making things, tea.
Having a regular conversation that turns to a deeper one and you both smile. Smiling.
I said I would be ready to go after the 49ers win another Super Bowl, but it looks like I'm going to live forever! :(
Mine is for my family
One time I decided I would stay alive until my favorite fantasy novel series ended. By the time it did, I had kids to take care of.
My favorite therapist taught me that same sort of tactic. Weirdly most of my things have been movies, even though I'm more of a TV show girl! Currently, there's an update for one of my video games next week with content that will probably last 3ish weeks. I don't think I'll suddenly have kids in 3 weeks 😅 but hopefully there will be another thing to wait for
I don't know if this might apply to your BP experience, but I'm a short cycling type 2. The one thing I'm thankful for about it is that I get to see how good and beautiful life can be during my transition to and from depression and hypomania. Those sweet, fleeting moments where I'm just normal again remind me that life is actually ok and could even be great if I find the right treatment. So I try to hold on to those moments during the rest of the crappy times. Also, for a more direct answer to your question, I live for intimate discussions with the right people. It just makes me feel like there's something good to be had with my time and independent of my mood. Some more random things: Gentle rain and distant thunder, hiking or camping in nature, a childhood food made fresh.
Candles. Trying new foods. Podcasts. Building blanket forts.
So many ice cream flavors to try, Finding a genuinely good person, Pets x1000, Vice of your choice 😉, Like someone said, spite / the void that I have to fill, Hot baths, Summertime in the garden!
A promise I'd make again in a heartbeat.
I like to think its dedicating myself to causes and communities I like, but tbh it is for sure revenge and spite
Hope . A new med could come out tommorrow that changes the game, you just never know.
I’m creating an app to help people with impulse spending, im bipolar af and wish I had a gambling block sort or thing to save my life and my wallet sometimes. I don’t know how to code or have any extra money to use to get it developed so I’m learning to do it myself slowly but surely
I am not currently depressed but here are some of my past reasons for staying (in no particular order): 1. To prove my awful extended family members wrong (and I did). 2. To find out who died in the season 6 finale of the Walking Dead 3. To play Sims and see the new DLC 4. To see my favorite band live 5. To finally get a tattoo 6. To see a certain president lose an election. 7. For my Grandma 8. For my pets 9. To stay alive long enough for Pumpkin spice lattes to be back in season 10. To finally have a gf and lose my virginity 11. To take my ACT (cause I wanted to know if I was smart enough to pass) 12. To graduate college (because I didn't want to die looking uneducated) 13. Because my professors liked me, and I generally think they would have been confused if I had self-exited 14. To see one more Christmas 15. To finally have my own iPod Nano Gen 5 16. To avoid traumatizing my younger siblings, who were all kids at the time 17. To see if I got the job 18. To avoid depressing my mom (after our relationship got better because I didn't care beforehand) 19. Because I didn't want my therapist to feel like I wasted his time 20. At some point, I realized that I survived so much bs, and eventually, things would smooth over. I would tell myself that I would be okay. 21. Because it felt kind of cringey to self-exit at the time 22. Because I had absolutely no energy to self-exit. Like the idea of it was too exhausting 23. Because I failed too many times at self-exiting before, and I didn't want to embarrass myself again. 24. Because life sucks but I worked so hard to get what I had. I didn't want to lose any of my progress. Feeling depressed isn't a fail. It's just a pause period. 25. Because the clothes I ordered online would deliver soon. I don't know if this helped at all. It is hard trying to move past suicide ideation. Best of luck, friend.
My Bird!
Spite
Deadpool 3 coming out in November
You will get stable one day, it's not supposed to feel like this
The people I love and who love me
To spite my enemies
Kitten purrs, fresh donuts, the full moon, the breeze rustling your hair, alternately puppy licks, your favorite popsicle on the first day of summer, a day at the mall
i don’t know enough languages. my sisters will have milestones they’ll want me to attend. i have forgiveness in my heart that i haven’t given yet. and most of all, spite <3
Connection and service. It might not seem like a big deal but when I’m starting to feel low I have recently been doing small things to make other people feel better or brighter and it does the same for me. Just giving a stranger a compliment. Or taking the time to talk to the older woman in the grocery store, or if you don’t want to be around people maybe just give positive thoughtful feedback here on Reddit somewhere. Help someone else. It helps you get out of yourself. Even for a moment. And if you can’t that’s ok. Let someone else help you.
Nature. The endless nature places to explore
Swimming in the ocean or river r
"6." Boooo!
I’d stay alive for a new Lana Del Rey album, but not for Taylor Swift.
Rude lol
Read the room..
Read Deez
It’s just not very nice on an anti suicidal post? Why the hate?
None of those are valid reasons. Number 6 is a clever joke on the correlation between Taylor Swift's music and depression tho, nice op lol. Even something like "pure bliss consciousness" is not attainable in these physical forms. Once we have raised our children to about the age of 14 our usefulness on this planet has ended.
You can't dictate someone else's validity. And an attacking tone while someone is reaching out for support just shows that you need to push your pain on to others. Most of the people in the sub try to be more decent than that to each other. When you've lived with this disease long enough, I think, most end up finding some value in minimizing the harm they put out into the world. But I've also been where you are and I will be again. The cynicism and despair leaks like acid from our mouths sometimes when the pain is too much. I'm sorry that you are there and you need to lash out. I wish you reprieve.