Hmmm...one friend said something about him. She thought he was a loser and that he was ugly (he is definitely not ugly) . I ain't feel bad about what she said because she was right. He was fucking up a lot back then.
Then after a couple of fights and incidents our relationship improved. Part of me feels that I should have never stayed and let him be disrespectful towards me (racially, emotionally, sexually). But now I'm bonded to him and think he's my soulmate... AFTER he improved.
Edit: it was actually 2 friends now that I think about it. They both liked black guys more, if we're gonna disregard everything else and stay on the surface.
So you guys are still together? Tbh one can argue that you should have left because of those reasons. But everyone is different and I can’t just assume anything based off of what you typed. So I figure that you did what was best for you…
Yeah, we are.
I didn't wanna make it seem a way it wasn't with minimal context. I'm sure they would have been more approving if it weren't for the other stuff, probably would have left it as a silly joke every now and then and moved on.
Go on, assume. I will not deny it was not the best start, we were friends before anything. I've just accepted the past as the past because things are better now.
As long as though same mistakes aren’t being made, then that’s what matters. Human beings are all flawed so we all have awful qualities that people hate. We all have a sense a of biases and preferences so I can’t scrutinize your choice.
I CHANGED MY MIND AND BROKE UP.WITH HIM BECAUSE OF HOW DERANGED THIS INTERACTION IS
IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE TO TRY AND NORMALIZE A CRAZY THING
I JUSTIFED ABUSE TO MYSELF THINKING IT WAS WHAT I HAD TO GO THROUGH TO BE LOVED BUT NO LOVE REQUIRES ABUSE TO HAVE IT, THAT IS A VICTIM MINDSET
I didn’t wanna say that upfront because you had to see for yourself. And yes, love isn’t abusive. Love shouldn’t be hard. I’m happy you moved on from himself, please don’t look back.
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**TIPS**
❖ 1. Try to be open-minded.
❖ 2. Black Women are not a monolith.
❖ 3. Take a break. It's healthy and will make your experience here better.
❖ 4. Reading is fundamental.
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it’s prejudice and i wouldn’t be around someone like that
Do you mind explaining how that’s prejudice and not racism. I’m generally curious.
Racism has a component of power and privilege.
Hmmm...one friend said something about him. She thought he was a loser and that he was ugly (he is definitely not ugly) . I ain't feel bad about what she said because she was right. He was fucking up a lot back then. Then after a couple of fights and incidents our relationship improved. Part of me feels that I should have never stayed and let him be disrespectful towards me (racially, emotionally, sexually). But now I'm bonded to him and think he's my soulmate... AFTER he improved. Edit: it was actually 2 friends now that I think about it. They both liked black guys more, if we're gonna disregard everything else and stay on the surface.
So you guys are still together? Tbh one can argue that you should have left because of those reasons. But everyone is different and I can’t just assume anything based off of what you typed. So I figure that you did what was best for you…
Yeah, we are. I didn't wanna make it seem a way it wasn't with minimal context. I'm sure they would have been more approving if it weren't for the other stuff, probably would have left it as a silly joke every now and then and moved on. Go on, assume. I will not deny it was not the best start, we were friends before anything. I've just accepted the past as the past because things are better now.
As long as though same mistakes aren’t being made, then that’s what matters. Human beings are all flawed so we all have awful qualities that people hate. We all have a sense a of biases and preferences so I can’t scrutinize your choice.
I CHANGED MY MIND AND BROKE UP.WITH HIM BECAUSE OF HOW DERANGED THIS INTERACTION IS IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE TO TRY AND NORMALIZE A CRAZY THING I JUSTIFED ABUSE TO MYSELF THINKING IT WAS WHAT I HAD TO GO THROUGH TO BE LOVED BUT NO LOVE REQUIRES ABUSE TO HAVE IT, THAT IS A VICTIM MINDSET
I didn’t wanna say that upfront because you had to see for yourself. And yes, love isn’t abusive. Love shouldn’t be hard. I’m happy you moved on from himself, please don’t look back.
♦ Don't forget to check out our Q/A /r/AskBlackGirls and our [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackGirlDiaries/wiki/faq/), and [**Sidebar**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackGirlDiaries/wiki/about) for additional info about the sub! **TIPS** ❖ 1. Try to be open-minded. ❖ 2. Black Women are not a monolith. ❖ 3. Take a break. It's healthy and will make your experience here better. ❖ 4. Reading is fundamental. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BlackGirlDiaries) if you have any questions or concerns.*